Daria s03e08 Episode Script

I think it's so important for a family to find the time to eat together and share their day.
Did I share with you how many meetings I had to rearrange so that I could be here, not that I'm complaining, but who knows what impact this will have on negotiations I'm not at liberty to discuss? Jake, Quinn, Daria! This isn't a library.
Despite the presence of fluorescent lighting and uncomfortable chairs.
Come on, let's have a nice chat.
Daria? Penny for your thoughts? Well, I was just pondering the idea that the negative, which is the nothingness of being and the annihilating power both together, is nothingness.
Oh, Daria! That whole "less is more" thing is so over! Accessories are back.
I just don't get it.
If B.
C.
is a caveman, how can he celebrate Ash Wednesday? Why do I bother? Nothing.
And what's that red stuff? Nothing.
What do you think that is? Cherry soda? No, it looks more like cranberry juice.
Nothing.
Well, hi, Mom.
Hey, Mom.
What is that? Strawberry syrup? I'm guessing cranberry juice.
Cherry soda.
Who could that be? Wind! What an unexpected treat.
Mom! Mom! Trent! Janey! It's so great to see everybody.
Sorry I didn't call first, but I had to clear out of the houseboat in a hurry.
"When Tidal Waves Strike?" No, Katie and I are separating for a while.
Oh, honey.
I hope you two work it out.
Me too, Mom.
I mean, two alimony payments a month are enough! Oh, God, I'll never learn how to love! It's okay, sweetheart.
We've got plenty of room.
There were some phone messages I almost forgot about.
Let's see Penny's coming in from Costa Rica; some kind of problem with a volcano.
And Dad's finished taking pictures of Celtic rock formations; he's on his way back to print.
What's that written on your other hand? "Change name of Mystik Spiral to 'Something Something Explosion.
'" Hey, do I smell cookies baking? Not bloody likely.
The kiln! Who could that be? Sis! Claudia threw you out.
Yeah, but that was years ago.
I think you mean Katie.
You, you ran out of pesos? Colönes.
No, my native crafts stand was wiped out.
Damn lava.
I'm so glad you're okay.
That's Chiquito.
He's very possessive.
Who could that be? Thanks.
I think I left my house keys in Connemara.
Go, you beautiful bastard! Three points, yeah! Something wrong, honey? Jake, do you ever worry that our children are becoming strangers to us? Stranger than us? What's so strange about us? I try and try to keep the channels of communication open.
What more can I do? Look under the mattress for a diary? I mean, by accident, of course? Honestly, Jake, sometimes I wonder if you know even the most rudimentary facts about our girls.
How old is Quinn? Uh, eleven ish? That was a guesstimate.
Jake, what's my middle name? It's got a "K," right? Honey, wait! Shoot, big man, shoot! Is your toll collector wearing pants, a skirt, or nothing but a smile? Cold breeze on the interstate, next on Sick, Sad World.
Hey, Jane! How long has the living room TV been broken? About two years, I guess.
Do you mind if I watch a show in here? It's kind of a marital emergency.
- Actually - Thanks.
Welcome once again to The Living Marriage: A Holistic Blueprint For Loving.
Oh, Katie, Katie, Katie! I, uh, think I'll give Daria a call downstairs.
Penny, you gonna be long? Business.
No, no, Senõr Finance Minister.
Necessito dinero to reopen my business.
Your volcano wiped out hundreds of hand-fashioned tin picture frames and I'd like to know how your government intends to compensate me.
All right, then; to my private office.
No, Senõr, I have not been inhaling volcano dust.
Hello? Hello? Sorry, gonna be awhile.
I'm developing.
Whatever.
Oh, honey? Don't drink from that big bottle in the kitchen; it's silver nitrate.
It's poisonous? Yeah, and I need it for my prints.
Mom, can we discuss this family togetherness nightmare? Wind's crying all over my stuff, Penny's starting a trade war in the kitchen, and Dad's rinsing prints in all the toilets.
Oh, Jane.
Everyone will work things out in their own way, in their own time.
Remember when you kids were young? How far back? Diapers creep me out.
The time Trent moved into a tent in the backyard.
Oh, sure.
It was my job to deliver the sandwiches.
We just left him alone for six months until he got bored.
Summer once ate only Pez for a year, and look how beautifully she turned out! You know, if you try to hold a butterfly tightly in your hand, it will die.
You have to let it go, and if it comes back, it is truly yours, but if doesn't, it never really was.
How about if you tear off its precious little wings? Who could that be? I'm not picky.
The manger will be fine.
Jane! Oh, hi, Mrs.
Morgendorffer.
Didn't see you there.
It's okay.
Speed-walkers have thick skins.
Jane, since you're staying with us and all, I thought well, you're Daria's best friend, and she's, she's so hard to talk to these days Maximum of three questions.
No betrayals.
Immunity from prosecution.
Agreed.
- Drugs? - Nope, unless you count TV.
Depressed? No, just realistic.
Sex? Oh, that's too obvious.
Can I have another one? The walls are closing in the ice is getting thin no place to be alone my house is not a home psychic refugee psychic refu The walls are closing in the ice is But, Dad, I don't know what else to do.
I tried everything on that show.
Your mom and I find role-playing a super way to work out conflicts.
We also enjoy hitting each other with large foam rubber bats.
I'd do it, but Katie isn't here.
Well, I'll be Katie.
Trent, would you mind being the flirtatious girl at the check-out counter? Uh, I gotta go sharpen my guitar pick.
Okay, I'll get Trent's tent out of the attic.
Bye! Courtney and Adrian are coming for a visit.
Isn't that great? Does Summer know? She should, shouldn't she? Well, she's kind of their mother.
Have you seen Janey? No, hon.
But if you find her, tell her I said hi.
Doesn't this feel great? Has anyone seen Jane? She was just standing there a few minutes uh, days ago.
Good one! Hey, thanks for setting the table, Jane-o! No problem.
Thanks for letting me stay here.
Well, I know how it can be, being driven from your childhood home.
Even if it was a dark, depressing place, the air thick with oppression, and the constant threat of Look! A ducky! Hey, neat! Say, uh, Jane I know you're Daria's best friend and well she's so hard to talk to these days.
I was wondering Maximum of three questions.
No betrayals.
Immunity from prosecution.
And, uh, talk your wife into finding a new speed-walking route.
Done! Age? Seventeen.
Uh height? Five foot two.
Favorite color? Black.
Oh, that's too obvious.
Can I have another one? I don't suppose you could tear out a chapter for me? Sorry, library book.
This milk trivia quiz is really interesting.
I'd like to try chewing some of this cud sometime.
Why don't they just put Marmaduke to sleep? Well, Jane, since everyone else is occupied, why don't we have a little Vitamin D, 200% vitamin A, 100% Who could that be? Hey, Daria.
Janey here? Um, yeah.
Hi.
Smells good.
Trent? Hey, Janey.
I just stopped by to tell you I'll be living in the Tank for a while.
The Tank? It's a van, or it was once.
Why didn't you phone? Couldn't get near it.
Hey, is that spaghetti? It's my favorite.
Actually, it's fettuccini bolognese.
Oh, yeah, that's my favorite.
It's not sticking together at all.
Trent, my man, you want to stay for dinner? Well, it is nice and warm in here.
Not like the Tank.
I bet your doors lock, too.
Trent, would you like to stay here tonight? What? Are you sure you've got the concentration for this game? Of course.
Why? Well, just 'cause you've only picked two letters.
Oh.
Oh, yeah.
You're an artist, right? I've been known to push the paint around.
Why? Art fascinates me.
So, if you were contouring the eyelids of, oh, someone with, let's see, coloring, skin tone, and hair color just like mine, would you go with a deep plum or a rich mauve? - I'd have to see the actual - Okay! Don't touch my "Q"! What? Hey, Daria? Seen Janey? I need to borrow her toothbrush.
Uh, she'll be back in a minute.
Guess I'll wait.
Hey, cool room.
Um, thanks.
Comfortable bed.
Mark Twain.
Huckleberry Finn, right? Yeah.
I read that in high school, I think.
Um, it's an American classic.
Used to watch Huckleberry Hound when I was a kid.
They didn't really have a lot in common, now that I think about it.
Um, no, Huckleberry Hound was much more of a joiner.
Yeah.
Loser.
Why did Quick Draw McGraw hang out with that freaky little mule? Whoops! Didn't mean to interrupt.
That's okay.
Hey, Janey, I need to borrow your toothbrush.
Take it, it's a gift.
Cool.
Wow, kismet! What were you guys talking about? Comparative literature.
Who could that be? Quinn, your date is here! Wow, I really don't know my kids! Hey, Trent around? Oh, you're for well, then.
Trent, your date is here! Thanks.
See you.
Trent, where are you going? Out.
And when are you coming back? Later.
Bye.
Someone should talk to that young man about the lifestyle choices he's making.
Don't worry.
You're twice the woman she is.
No, that would be a size 12.
Listen, Daria, I always say that just because a guy has a girlfriend, it doesn't mean he's off-limits.
Unless you're the girlfriend.
By "you" I mean me, of course.
Remember that.
Mmm, got any more pearl drops of wisdom? Daria, all you need is a little confidence.
Just close your eyes and imagine what you want.
Watch me.
Quinn, looking into your mauve-lidded eyes makes me want to give you everything you've ever desired.
May I worship your heavenly perfection until the end of time? Or until you meet someone better, whichever comes first? Oh, okay.
Oh, and could you get me a soda? In a crystal goblet? It's only a matter of time.
Give it a try, Daria.
Just use your imagination and picture your dream exactly the way it will be.
All right.
But I don't trust you enough to close my eyes.
Trent, honey, I'm home! Good day? Not much happened.
Don't worry, Trent.
I'm sure Mystik Spiral is on the brink of success We really should change the name.
and I don't mind working double shifts at the gene splicing lab until you make it.
Face it, Daria, we're never going to get our big break.
I gotta get a real job.
Um, I'll need some money to get my tattoo removed.
Honey, we have to save right now.
Trent Junior needs glasses.
Thick ones.
Don't you understand? Every time I look at this stupid tattoo, it reminds me how I've wasted my life.
But I'm not giving up.
I'm determined to lie here on the couch until things turn around.
Oh, Trent.
Whatever happened to the man I married? We never got married, remember? I overslept.
Who could that be? That's for me! Bye! You okay there, sister-in-law? I think I just got over something.
Who could that be? Hey! That print took me five hours! Uh, children, that's not really a ride.
You kids get off that pottery wheel this instant! Summer! You've come to take the kids home? Well, I figured since I made the trip, I'd stay a few nights.
Gee, how was today's pre-breakfast run? Pre-breakfast speed-walk, right, Jane? I thought we had a deal.
Good morning, Quinn.
If you're wondering why I overslept, it's not because I was out late or anything; my alarm clock simply malfunctioned.
I certainly accept your convincing explanation.
Trent? What time did you get in last night? Uh midnight? I don't think so, young man.
Jake, was there something you wanted to talk to Trent about? Yeah, Trent, what would you think if tonight I tried a little chutney shrimp? I'm itching to break out the ol' wok.
Trent, I'm afraid these crazy hours you keep will make it impossible for you to adjust if and when you get a job and join the rest of us in conventional society.
Doesn't anyone want to know what ungodly hour I got in? I meant to be home sooner, but Monique and I spent four hours breaking up.
You guys break up every other week.
You don't belong together.
Figure it out.
Right, Daria? Trent, one day you'll have your own home and you can live any way you choose, but while you're under our roof, young man, you will respect the rules of this household.
Yes'm.
Now, let's discuss an appropriate punishment for breaking curfew.
But don't I deserve appropriate punish I mean, um Just tell them if they'll let it go this once you'll never do it again.
I'm sorry I broke the rules.
We don't really have any rules at our house.
Right, Janey? Well, there's that one about not building a fire in the rooms that don't have fireplaces.
You know, I once lived in a tent in the yard for six months, waiting for someone to invite me back into the house.
Oh, do I know what that's like: waiting for your so-called loved ones to acknowledge your existence! Sitting alone in the dark, craving the love of a heartless man who keeps you in a constant state of fear and, Who could that be? Hello, Helen.
Why, Amanda! I guess you've come to claim your children.
Are they here? Jane is free to go, but Trent is grounded.
Oh, I don't believe in that.
You know, Helen, if you try to hold a butterfly tightly in your hand, it will die.
You have to let it go, and, You gotta help me! I need my house back! Amanda, I may have an idea.
Well, now that we'll all be living under the same roof for a while, I thought it would be nice if we sat down each night, ate dinner together, and shared our day.
Penny, keep that bird pointed away from the vegetables! So, what's new? Well, I'm thinking of switching from hand-crafted tin picture frames to hand-crafted gecko-skin coin purses.
You still think your little knickknacks are gonna save the economies of the Third World? Now, Summer, some things are worth saving.
And some things can't be saved like my marriage! It's okay, Wind.
It's for the best.
Really? Believe me, you're much better off.
What's that supposed to mean? Yeah, what do you know about marriage? Well, I can't say I've had as much experience as either of you in failing at it! Wait a minute! Hey, guys, live and let live! We wanna go home! Then why the hell did you run away and drag me back to the last place on Earth I want to be? I have such interesting and articulate children! And grandchildren! So, once again the wandering Lanes scatter to parts unknown as Trent and I return to the benign neglect that has served us so well in the past.
I guess no matter what style parents you have, they will inevitably drive you crazy.
Well said, amiga.
And so, adios.
Well, it was fun.
Yeah.
Uh, sorry your date didn't work out.
Janey's right.
Monique and I just aren't meant to be.
Too bad you're not a few years older, huh? I could take you out.
See you.
Daria, you're the best thing that ever happened to me.
Damn.
Written by Anne D.
Bernstein Réponses au blindtest : Trent looks in refrigerator Heather Nova - London Rain Jane running past Helen Speed - Space Queen Jane eating dinner with the Morgendorffers Blaque - 808 Daria and Jane playing scrabble Sonic Youth - Dirty Boots Daria watching Trent and Monique Foo Fighters - Everlong Trent and Monique drive away Filter - Welcome to the Fold Quinn's daydream UNKLE - Unreal Daria's daydream Sonic Youth - The Diamond Sea just before Chiquito steals photograph Paul Weller - The Changingman closing credits Pet Shop Boys - Too Many People