Dawn of the Croods (2015) s03e08 Episode Script

1 Okay, looky here.
I don't take nothing for free.
Let me find something to trade.
Nope.
[meowing.]
Nah.
[gasping.]
Hi.
Pleasure doing business with you.
Oh, no, it's a-coming.
[screaming.]
[yelling.]
Bom-bom, bom-ba-dum Ma-ma-ma-bom-ba-dum â™ â™ Ba-da-dum Advice for meat! Advice for meat! [wind howling.]
Shoo, you sign of there not being any customers, you! Okay, Dad.
We painted your face all over the valley to attract customers like you asked.
Hey, this space belongs to Bow-Chicka-Wow-Wow! Sorry.
I'll tell my boys to stop.
Don't stop.
I need my face on more butts.
The bigger the better.
[groaning.]
Baitsy, your head's been chewed on a lot.
Surely you need help.
Yes and yes.
A lightning bug flew up my nose and got stuck.
[sniffling.]
Good thing we have such a great leader.
Grug can solve any problem.
So, what's stuck in your nose today, my good man? [groaning.]
Squashrooms, please.
The good ones, not the ones you spray to keep pests away.
[Womp spitting.]
I'm unsanitary.
Oh, sorry.
We gave our best food to Grug to thank him for leading us through an epic gathering crisis.
Thank you, thank you.
Here, have some.
I don't even like this stuff.
- I don't want your pity vegetable.
- I do.
[screaming.]
[whimpering.]
[Grug.]
My fellow Ahhh-Valleyites, I've been leader for a while now, so let's address the state of the valley.
It's awesome! [cheering.]
I've kept us safe, hunting is booming, cliff-related falls have plummeted, and I've rescued you all from countless predators.
So today, to celebrate my true greatness, new pelts for all! [inhaling.]
[cheering.]
Yeah, the egg got smashed! Also, the community has been righteous under Grug's leadership.
Yeah! How can you all cheer for him? He's not that great.
Ha! Did you not see the egg just get smashed? Like, for example, he's nearly put my advice stand out of business.
Wait.
So he's a bad leader because he's too helpful? Precisely.
Plus, it's cold.
He's done an awful job negotiating with the sun.
Hey, our talks are ongoing.
You can't be too careful in a cold war.
Look, if you have a problem, I'll solve it.
Thunk, pelt him.
[inhaling.]
And another thing.
You never let me finish my complain It's here.
Run, hide, do whatever it takes to survive.
Women and weird old dudes first.
[gasping.]
- Okay, I'm a-coming.
- I said weird old dudes.
And there I go! What is it, Old Man Root? The Big Chickuna.
It is back.
Well, we've dealt with it before, so What did we do the last time again? Is that the one where we dressed up as a bear owl? No.
We hastily invented a new device we never used again.
[Baitsy.]
Uh, I remember there being two babies.
No, no, no! This time, it's appreciably different.
It's super-predator mating season.
The time for love, romance, and smashing everything in its path till it finds a mate.
[gasping.]
When you say everything, does that include egg-like objects? There's no way to stop it? Not unless you know any monsters looking for love.
My Aunt Gloggle is a monster, but she's a heartbreaker.
[Baitsy.]
Ow! My heart.
Listen up! Get the whole valley and follow me to the abandoned molar bear hole to wait this out.
[cheering.]
Hold the bone! Don't just mindlessly follow Grug.
Mindlessly follow me.
I say we [Big Chickuna shrieking.]
Everyone, this way! [screaming.]
[panting.]
I can't get stomped yet.
I haven't even had my first kiss.
No? They're wonderful.
Kevin! [shrieking.]
[roaring.]
[grunting.]
[sighing.]
Are you okay? Never been better.
Hey, guys.
What, is there something going on here that I'm oblivious to? [chuckling.]
Nope.
See you, you know, if we live.
[groaning.]
So back to panicked fleeing? [screaming.]
Ah, come on, come on! What are you doing? The egg's right there.
Everyone, follow my amazing voice into this hole.
No, follow my amazing voice into this hole.
[yelling.]
I'm a ball.
[grunting.]
Yeah! Woo-hoo! Now that is what it is like to be evacuated by the best.
I saved you and you and you and Hey, who's "Oh," and where's Bulk? Snoot, did you forget Bulk? Of course not.
I never even thought of him.
Snoot, Bulk is our second favorite son, but I see you did run home to save that fern you like.
I find it soothing.
Well, someone's gotta rescue him.
Grug? Grug? Okay, I gotta go be a hero for Snoot's family, because Snoot valued a plant over his son's life.
Don't get in any more crises till I get back.
No! I'm gonna go be a hero for Snoot's family.
But that would be brave.
You get scared when your hair gets in your face.
No, I don't [screaming.]
I can't see.
The world has ended.
Pretend that didn't happen.
[sighing.]
Look, just because Grug's leader doesn't mean he's the caveman for the job.
I'm the boy's father, so I'll be the one to save the day.
This is crazy.
You'll be stomped for sure.
Repeatedly, I bet.
I'm not as useless as you think.
[screaming.]
[moaning.]
Want us to pretend that didn't happen either? Yes, please.
[Grug grunting.]
Hey, Kevin.
Pretty crazy back there, huh? Mm-hmm.
Um [giggling.]
Nice wall mold they got down here.
Mm now that is [stomach grumbling.]
Mm-hmm.
Why is he acting like this? It's as if our almost kiss didn't almost happen.
[Thunk slurping.]
What? Why are you interested in him? Isn't he, like, a jerk? No, not anymore.
His old girlfriend Mel broke his heart when she fell in the tar pit and disappeared.
He's changed.
He even grew a moustache.
- [Thunk.]
That's a worm.
- [Eep.]
Still.
[sighing.]
Did I do something wrong? Should I get a worm-stache? No, it's just that, in life or death moments, people act differently because their instincts take over.
Trust me, I almost die constantly.
- [rumbling.]
- [gasping.]
[shrieking.]
[grunting.]
See? Man, I have weird instincts.
Huh.
Life or death moments, you say.
[Big Chickuna shrieking.]
If you insist on coming along, you have to keep your mouth shut.
No, if you insist on coming along, you've gotta keep your mouth shut.
- I'm gonna be the one to find him.
- Found him.
Okay, so you sniffed him out, but any dumb beast could do that.
See? Told you.
[screaming.]
[shrieking.]
[whimpering.]
Help.
Somebody help! Preferably Grug, the leader of the valley.
[sighing.]
Well, that's my cue.
Snoot, watch my rear.
Snoot? Huh, not gonna look a gift lion horse in the mouth.
Here comes greatness! Please, no! I act like I hate life, but I love it.
Even the little things.
Dew on a blade of grass.
A child's laugh.
Or cowering in a crevasse while I shout, "I want to live!" Bulk, I'm here to rescue you.
- Yeah, whatever.
- [Big Chickuna shrieking.]
- [hissing.]
- [screaming.]
Snoot, what are you doing with that Tyrannaconda? Saving the day! I found another super-predator to take out that super-predator.
Jealous? What? That plan is crazy.
- [shrieking.]
- [hissing.]
Crazy working.
Wow, Dad, you actually saved me.
I wasn't prepared for this.
None of us were, son, but, yes, I saved you.
Me.
This was my idea.
I deserve all the credit for it, and Grug had nothing to do with it.
[gasping.]
[roaring.]
[screaming.]
You're right, Snoot, I had nothing to do with that.
- Son! - [whimpering.]
Please, no! I'm too much of an individual to die! [crying.]
[growling.]
[whimpering.]
I think she's in love.
Well, Bulk does have my good looks.
[squawking.]
[growling.]
Huh, she stopped fighting because of Bulk.
That's good, right? [Bulk yelling.]
Help! Help! [roaring.]
Good might be a stretch.
Hey, Kevin.
What are doing? [sighing.]
Just finding my dreamiest eyes.
We have a winner.
Cool.
Hey, mind moving over that way a little? It just, it seems like a better spot to stand.
Sure.
That's a reasonable thing to ask of me.
Hey, you were right.
This spot rules.
[inhaling.]
Oh, no! Look out! [sighing.]
Are you okay? Never been better.
Except for when you saved me before, which I'd say this is tied with.
- [Thunk screaming.]
- [gasping.]
Is it me or is the ceiling here, like, crazy slippery? - [growling.]
- So how did it go? - [gasping.]
- Mm-hmm.
[chuckling.]
I'm gonna back away from you now, if it's cool.
[sighing.]
It's cool.
[groaning.]
I wonder why that didn't work.
Was it your timing? Oh, yeah, it was someone's timing.
Mm-hmm.
Yours? Do you think it was yours? [growling.]
[Bulk whimpering.]
[sighing.]
This is flattering, but I'm a kid, and you're a grotesque beast that haunts people's nightmares.
So, yeah, I just don't see it working out.
[Big Chickuna squawking.]
[Snoot.]
Okay, I can fix this.
I'll just climb up the spire and get him.
Or I could think more and No, I am not gonna let you Snoot things up any more than you already have.
- I'm gonna bonk him free.
- [sighing.]
That will never work.
[yelling.]
[grunting.]
See? Quit getting in the way.
[Snoot.]
I'm not in the way, I am the way.
- Give me the rock, Snoot.
- No.
You'll hit Bulk.
- [grunting.]
- [groaning.]
Come on, let go.
I need that to bonk with.
Come on.
Quit it.
It's my rock until you think of a better plan.
- [screaming.]
- [shrieking.]
[Snoot.]
Quit it! [grunting.]
[screaming.]
[yelling.]
[hissing.]
- [Bulk.]
Help! - [gasping.]
[screaming.]
Bulk, now's your chance.
Jump down! [whimpering.]
[grunting.]
Yeah! Another job well-leadered by Grug Crood.
Son, you were supposed to leap into my arms.
Well, just thought he'd do a better job catching me.
- He is a truly great leader.
- The boy does speak the truth.
- [Bulk giggling.]
- [grunting.]
- Boom.
- Boom.
[yelling.]
- [whimpering.]
- [crying.]
[growling.]
- [roaring.]
- [shrieking.]
Oh, this is so not boom! - Hey.
- [gasping.]
Wanna see something I found in a remote, dangerous part of the cave? I mean, in a normal part of the cave.
Sure.
Who wouldn't? Great.
If you're wondering, it's not part of a plan or anything.
That's good to know.
So here's what I wanted to show you.
What do you think? What are we looking at? Oh, no! Okay, don't blow it.
Think hard and give a smart answer.
- Neat.
- Mm-hmm.
[chuckling.]
You did it, you beautiful beast.
- Whoops! What an unplanned accident.
- [shrieking.]
[gasping.]
Spider-ant! It might bite me and make me less dreamy.
Help! [grunting.]
Oh, no.
I'm too klutzy to help you.
Don't worry.
I'll get someone strong and also pretty beautiful.
I don't care, man.
Just don't let me die here.
Though beautiful would be nice.
- [panting.]
- Ha! Great.
Okay, now remember your most important job of all.
- Go as far away from you as I can.
- Exactly.
Oh.
[panting.]
[panting.]
Mwah [straining.]
- Huh? - Mm [groaning.]
Really? Thunk, we need your help.
[grunting, panting.]
This is far, but I can go farther.
Just gotta keep my head down and avoid distractions.
La, la Distract, distract La, la, la, la, la, la, la Distracting myself I'm distracting myself [coughing.]
Hey, not cool, Snoot.
No one lunges at Grug Crood like that.
I'll lunge at whoever I want, you dimwitted, blowhard, son-saving [growling.]
- That one's okay.
- Not great leader! [growling.]
That's it! [shrieking.]
[hissing.]
[Snoot.]
Hey, you almost hit me.
Yet another thing you failed at.
Oh, it's on.
[squawking.]
Dad, stop it! I don't wanna see you get hurt.
Not now, son.
Daddy's monster battling.
Grug has to learn not to always rub his leadering in people's faces.
Oh, I'll rub something in your face.
[Snoot moaning.]
[whimpering.]
Admit it, I am a truly great leader.
Everyone in the valley thinks so.
Well, they're chumps.
Sure, I'm not leader, but I'm still the smartest caveman around.
- They should listen to me.
- That is what this is about? You're jealous of me and my true, true greatness? What? No.
I just think you're a brainless, cocky show-off.
Would a brainless, cocky show-off do this? No hands.
[hissing.]
[chortling.]
Ooh, that's how you do it.
Grug Crood gets you black and blued.
- [growling.]
- [roaring.]
[straining.]
Why does everyone love you? Can't they see you just help them for the glory? Is that really what you think? Snoot, I help them because it is the right thing to do.
And that's why he's a great leader.
Ha! That and Thunk! No, Thunk doesn't really have a lot to do with it.
- I mean, he tries - No.
Thunk.
La la la, distracting La la do doo doo Getting far from Eep And saying what I'm doing out loud Far from Eep And saying what I'm doing out loud [gasping.]
We're gonna smash him.
How do we stop this thing? [shrieking.]
Guess I gotta save him by being awesome then.
Here I come, son.
[screaming.]
[yelling, grunting.]
- Bulk! - [roaring.]
- La la, distracting myself - [gasping.]
- Son! - Dad! La la la la Distracting myself [screaming.]
- [singing.]
- [yelling.]
[slow-motion screams.]
[slow-motion.]
So this is how it ends.
Guess I gotta save him.
Time to be awesome! Dad? Dad! [Snoot straining.]
[sighing, yelping.]
- [grunting.]
- Snoot, that was amazing.
We can have a wrap-up later.
Let's get out of here.
[screaming.]
[hissing.]
[yelping.]
[whimpering.]
[sniffling.]
[squawking.]
Help! Help! [groaning.]
I don't think anyone's coming.
Hey, there's someone.
Someone spider-anty.
[screaming.]
- Mel? Oh, come on.
- Mel? Oh, come on! [howling.]
So wait.
You're alive? Yep, I crawled out of that tar pit for you.
- And to stay alive.
- Let's get back together.
- [chuckling.]
- [groaning.]
Guess this may not have been the best way to get a kiss.
- Wait.
I'm still trapped.
- [straining.]
[gasping.]
Hi.
- Yeah, not gonna happen.
- Can't blame a Womp for trying.
We're back.
And we brought this.
- [Meep.]
Son! - [all cheering.]
Yeah.
Hey, it's that boy that lives over there.
You know, the boy.
I don't know anyone's name.
- Oh - [clearing throat.]
Snoot, you survived.
Guess you won that bet.
Yes, I survived.
But, technically, Grug is the one who saved Bulk.
- No blood on his hands.
- Leader Grug does it again.
Yeah, Grug.
Yes, I saved Bulk, and yes, I did it in truly great fashion.
- But Snoot saved my son too.
- [murmuring.]
- [Meep.]
I'll be darned.
- [Thunk whimpering.]
[straining.]
That to me is more impressive.
When a truly great leader saves someone, you expect it.
When a person who's normally useless saves someone, that's truly true greatness.
- Huh? - Hooray for my normally useless dad! Hey, wait a [cheering.]
Also, we should stop cheering ourselves so much and being so show-offy.
Wouldn't you agree, Snoot? Well, actually, I think it's fine.
Cheer me louder, everyone.
You can cheer louder than that, people! - [groaning.]
- [cheering.]
[cooing.]
[music playing.]