Hetty Wainthropp Investigates (1996) s03e08 Episode Script
Helping Hansi
Vera Lynn: let's say goodbye with a smile, dear just for a while, dear we must part don't let this parting upset you I'll not forget you sweetheart we'll meet again don't know where, don't know when but I know we'll meet again some sunny day no, thank you.
Keep smiling through oh.
Just like you always do [air raid siren.]
Oh.
What's going on? It's an air raid.
[Brass band music playing.]
[Laughter.]
Sieg heil.
Ha ha! Woman: Heil! Heil! [Hitler speaking German.]
[Crowd chanting "sieg heil".]
[Machine gun firing.]
[Airplane diving.]
[Crash.]
[Laughter.]
Go on, after him.
[Knock on door.]
It was only a joke, Ronald's party piece.
If you knew how it was, you would never joke.
Thank you, Frank.
You're very kind.
This is your husband? Oh, no.
My brother-in-law.
My husband is visiting family in Australia.
My visit to you is about my family, my lost family.
You want me to find your sister Irmgard, yes, and my nephew hans, the same name as mine.
That evil man Hitler said, "have sons for the fatherland.
" She and her baby were smuggled from hamburg.
After the war, I came to england.
The one address I had for her was Kendal, but nothing.
Someone said she'd married, moved away, but I had a friend she died recently who lived in the retirement home.
Gwen is a wonderful, kind English lady.
Gwen left me a little money to search for my lost family.
Her legacy won't last long, Mr.
Bauer.
Searches like this are very expensive.
Hansi, please.
That is my name.
The money was left with the purpose of finding her.
It's more than 50 years gone.
I love to smoke.
May I? Oh, yes.
Smoke.
Thank you.
My father smoked a pipe.
Uh-huh.
He was lost in the war reconnoitering a place in Italy positano.
You can holiday there now.
Yes, and in Switzerland.
I spent a year of the war packing red cross parcels there.
You will find my family.
That's all I live for now.
Your address, coverdale hall, sounds very grand.
It is.
I was very lucky.
I worked for lord coverdale.
It was his house before it became a retirement home.
He loved the grounds.
I helped him create his dream garden.
When he died, his will said that I should always have a place there.
His money pays your bills.
No.
The home is owned by the residents.
Lord coverdale bought a share for me.
I am a founding member.
I can veto any new member or any change to the house and gardens, but even so, I am the only German there.
Oh, not again, Frank.
Well, the stink of tobacco, I can't get rid of it.
How could you let that Nazi light up like that? Not all Germans were Nazis.
Hansi didn't fight against us.
He was interned in Switzerland.
Hetty, that's what they all say.
Didn't you tell me he was in the Hitler youth? Most German boys were.
It was a bit like the boy scouts at the beginning.
They didn't have much choice later.
Ha! I've heard that one a few times before, too.
Oh, I'm going into the back room, away from this.
Ah-choo! Gesundheit.
Mm, nice smell.
Don't you start.
What did this German man want? To find his family.
He had a sister and a nephew who came to england.
I said it would be difficult, impossible, really.
Where was his sister last seen? Kendal.
[Door opens and closes.]
Any luck? May I ask if you're related to irmgard Bauer? Well, I did explain.
Have you got any trace? I can't tell you that.
It's confidential.
Oh, let's leave it, then.
One moment, please.
I would like to have helped you.
Then I'd have an excuse for seeing you again.
Would I need an excuse, Janet? Yeah, you would.
My boyfriend is very jealous.
Mr.
Wallace.
Mr.
Wallace.
Huh? Oh, yes.
Are you Mr.
tudor Wallace of Wallace, sims, and alcox, solicitors? I'm sorry to intrude, but I'm trying to find the whereabouts of a woman from Germany.
Mr.
stiles at the registry office said you might be able to help me.
I am retired from my practice, long since retired.
Mr.
stiles said German prisoners of war sometimes changed their names.
Yes, yes.
Some of them even became British citizens, and you were the solicitor who did most of the what do you call it? Naturalization.
Yes.
The woman I'm looking for was named irmgard Bauer.
She had a child.
Yes.
I yes.
I remember those years immediately after the war clear and bright.
What happened yesterday is quite another matter.
The woman you want changed her name twice, once from the German and once when she got married.
She became became her boy's name.
She changed that, too.
Hans.
He became Harry, and she, by deed poll, became Irma barnwell.
She married a farmer, very fond of litigation.
Almost ruined him.
Family still have the farm shottons at threlkeld fold.
Irma barnwell.
Mm-hmm.
Thank you, Mr.
Wallace.
It's so long ago.
Oh, dear.
Oh, thank you.
One of you is best with gran.
She don't like young uns.
Geoffrey: We'll stay out here.
Janet: It's a lovely farm.
Try working it.
Your brother married a German girl.
Aye, he always liked to be different.
"Enemy," I told him.
"Don't mix their blood with ours," but no.
No.
He even learned some German from her.
They had no children.
She had one already, a lad, fathered by Hitler, for all we knew.
Oh, cheeky young devil.
When he grew up, he went off selling provin for a Roman down Preston way.
Provin? Fodder, food for animals.
And this would be Irma's son hans? Yes, Harry, Harry shotton.
Ooh, took our name.
Who did you say he worked for at Preston? Oh, mashe, scaffe I can't remember.
Why should I? Where might I find his mother? Oh, I can tell you where she is.
Up the hillside in the churchyard.
[Thunder.]
[Hansi sobbing.]
Oh, God.
I can't help myself.
It's all right.
Why shouldn't you cry? Oh, for 50 years, I have hoped.
Now I am finally all alone.
First my friend Gwen, now Irma.
Have you anybody back in Germany? Nein, nein.
Verschollen.
Lost, missing.
Irma, how did she die? A blood disease.
That's what the family she married into said.
Poor Irma.
Her life was ruined by that slime Hitler.
She believed him.
Her baby, your nephew, is called Harry shotton.
I can try to locate him.
Do I go on? Ja yes.
I will pay you.
You go now, please? [Sniffle.]
It's a swastika.
A sw hansi, why are you planting such a thing? Not planting, digging up.
A kind resident did this during the night.
To upset you? Why? They love a joke.
They want me to give up, to take my life, stop my veto, make my share available.
Somebody planted this thing to upset you in the hope of driving you away? I am sick and sad with it, Hetty.
[Sobbing.]
Have you any idea who might be behind this? Someone hates me, but who and why is a mystery.
A few numbers on a piece of paper have changed our lives.
We passed here yesterday, didn't we? Couldn't resist the gardens, peeked in a window or two.
I didn't win millions, just enough to buy a bit of peace and quiet in nice surroundings.
Coverdale hall is perfect for that.
We have a share that's become available, owing to a recent death.
We sometimes offer a week's trial at a cost of £750, inclusive.
Oh, that would be ideal, wouldn't it, children? Geoffrey: That's a lot of money.
[Whispering.]
I can afford it now.
Janet: So long as you're happy, mum.
I can give it a try, just for a week.
Well, the room was very nice.
I am sure the food will be good, and the gardens are beautiful.
[Sobs.]
I mustn't cry.
Now, you two, get down to Preston and see if you can trace hansi's nephew.
Harry shotton? That's him.
Ring round all the animal feed suppliers, visit a few farms, put an advert in a paper.
Right.
Off you go.
Ok Mumsie.
Oh! Oh.
Ha ha ha! Janet is only playing the part of your daughter, Mrs.
Wainthropp.
I know.
She's a nice lass, Geoffrey.
Oh.
Well, do your duty.
Oh, yes.
Be brave, mum.
Be off with you.
[Hetty sobbing.]
Mrs.
Wainthropp, I'd like you to meet cyril, cyril sopwith.
How do you do? What ho! Trying as on 7 day" approval, what? Yes.
I'm henrietta.
I thought cyril could show you around, make some introductions to other members of our happy home.
Oh, I'd like that.
What should I call you? Oh, Mrs.
swinbank.
I hope you don't mind.
A little formality is best in management.
I have things to do.
I'll leave you with cyril.
[Chuckles.]
Somebody has ruined a fine lawn.
It looks a bit like that Nazi thingamajig.
We've a German chap who gardens.
Probably wanted to remind himself of die vaterland.
Oh, it's just a joke, don't you know? This is the gang, mostly retired purveyors and failed confidence tricksters.
What ho, gang of mine? May I present to the court of queen Alice the lady henrietta Wainthropp? Milady, Alice, Rachel, Ronald, Ted.
Hetty: Nice to meet you.
Alice: Don't let cyril bother you.
He suffers from having discovered p.
G.
Wodehouse at an advanced age.
It's true.
[Both chuckle.]
Mystery writers are my cup of tea.
Ted: Oh, I've often thought coverdale hall would be a perfect setting for a murder.
Anyone any idea as to a victim? Oh, one or two.
Well, one.
Oh, yes, indeed.
Yes.
Come, Hetty.
Let's leave these murderous people and find more inmates to bore you with, eh? Hmm.
Say, steady on.
There's something in there.
It looks to be very sore.
Hmm, Thorn in the jolly old flesh, what? You'll need some drawing out ointment on that.
Got it yesterday stealing roses from herr hansi's precious garden.
Not a word.
No bleating to matron, huh? Find me a needle.
I'll operate straight away.
[Chuckles.]
[Electronic dance music playing.]
Your driving's improving? Few more years, and you'll be distinctly average.
Time to eat before Preston, Geoff? Yeah, I suppose so.
Well, we can split the cost.
Never knew cars would be so expensive.
They're hungry things.
Yeah.
We've got plenty of time to find somewhere to eat.
Mrs.
Wainthropp wants us to put an advert in the newspapers and search around farm suppliers, but I have a much better idea of how we can find Harry shotton and have an afternoon for ourselves.
Oh, yeah? Yes.
Oh! Ohh Mm! I say, that needle is sterilized, what? Yes, with fire.
Hmm? This is quite deep.
You got it stealing roses yesterday, you said.
Shh.
It's a secret known only to a select few, Hetty.
You see that lady? I'm deeply enamored.
Oh, she doesn't know it's me.
I place roses outside her room with a card saying, "from a secret admirer.
" Would you be still? Yes.
Sorry, nurse.
Who is this, herr hansi? Oh, some residents might tolerate that hun, but he's persona non grata to those who matter here.
Aah! Keep still.
Why is it that your gang doesn't like him? Well, may be something to do with the way he goose-steps through the gardens barking out orders.
Oh! Ah! Oh.
Ahh.
I say, I'm bleeding.
Good.
What? It'll cleanse the wound.
Yes! Fixed an interview tomorrow, on air this Saturday.
Hey, cool.
Save a bit of time.
Yeah.
Do you think I should phone work? You're on holiday.
Yeah.
There's a new boss.
Well, you're with me.
I'm hungry.
Me, too.
For lunch.
Oh, that, as well.
Tsk tsk tsk tsk.
Frank? Frank Is it really you? Oh, how lovely to see you.
Oh, mustn't embarrass you in public, must I? Sorry.
We can fraternize now.
But I thought detectives weren't meant to socialize with their ex-clients.
Oh, that's a silly rule, and anyway, the woman that made it, Hetty Wainthropp, is no longer with us.
You mean Oh, no, no, no.
She's gone into a home.
Oh, dear.
Is that a fact? Undercover work.
I myself am working away from the criminal front for once, trying to put the agency on a more viable business footing.
The accounts, oh, they're dreadful.
You're so versatile, Frank.
Oh, dear.
Gas masks needed again.
What, dear? Fritz the fumigator.
By his smell shall we know him.
[Coughs.]
I shall smoke my pipe in my room because that is a good excuse not to visit, yes? Yes? Hetty, good night.
Good night.
Some people should be ashamed of themselves.
Some people should mind their own damn business.
How's the mystery? Oh, murder aplenty.
I don't suppose we'll have one here.
More is the pity.
Driving someone to despair is a kind of murder.
You're newly arrived here.
Better to go carefully when making friends at first, Hetty.
You mean, better that I should ignore hansi? I know Germans.
I was a prisoner at one of their camps.
Hansi was a prisoner, too.
Internment.
That's very different.
The loss of freedom is the same, isn't it? Excuse me.
Frank: Come in.
Come in.
Sit down.
Sit down.
Now, what is it, Margaret? You can tell me.
Income tax.
I'm supposed to assess myself, and I can't.
Everyone thinks I'm so capable, but I'm a dunce with figures.
Margaret I could help you.
Of course I could.
Have you thought what that would mean? No, what? Well, I'd know all your personal details.
There is a saying that we all become naked under the eyes of our accountant.
I wouldn't mind that, Frank.
[Big band playing "body and soul".]
Uh My heart is sad and lonely I hate the world that doesn't contain you.
How can I live when you're away from me? I can't bear the thought of you away from me.
Hold me.
I'm all for you hold me.
[Music stops.]
Is it time? Yes.
Has he gone? Yes.
I loved him so much.
I can still hear the music.
Harry's mother was German irmgard.
They called her Irma.
Unfortunately, she died in 1969, and Harry moved to Preston.
His Uncle would very much like to make contact.
He's never met his Uncle hansi? No, but if he wants, he can phone in.
Putting lost people together, that's what we're here for.
Geoff, thanks for coming in off those mean streets.
We'll be back with another "where are you now?" Tomorrow.
Thanks very much, Geoff.
Ok.
Hansi: And cyril, he hates me most of all.
He pokes fun at me, he steals my roses.
I don't laugh at his silly-ass speech.
Yes.
He could have moved those plants, one of his jokes.
What does Mrs.
swinbank say? She got any ideas about stopping this nonsense? Nothing.
I did not tell her.
Whyever not? She would not understand.
No one does.
Hetty: Who's your main suspect Alice, Rachel, Ted, cyril, and what's this other chap who is in the gang Ronald? Ja, maybe Ronald.
He dressed up as Adolf Hitler just to humiliate me.
Oh, yes, and he collects Nazi mementos.
He has a flag, armbands, costume, tape recordings in his room.
If he had lived under that regime, he would not be so fascinated.
What do you think of my garden? It's absolutely beautiful.
Ja.
His lordship and I created all this beauty.
It was our life's work.
Every day, I think of him.
I'd be no good as a model, you know? Hetty, I'm sorry about last night.
It was the anniversary of my first wedding day.
We had one night together.
I hadn't realized the music was so loud.
I'm sorry.
Your first husband? Yes.
He was on the York.
It went down with all hands German torpedo.
I married twice since then, but it was never the same.
You only love one man completely.
George was mine.
In wartime, men have to fight, kill each other.
Some women find it hard to forgive their enemies.
Yes.
At my age, memories are supposed to fade.
Mine get sharper.
I think, I love my poor lost husband more than ever now.
Why does others walk and breathe and he lies at the bottom of the sea? [Telephone rings.]
Wainthropp detective agency.
What's going on, Geoffrey? Any news? I called the farm provision merchants, no George so far, and I put out a call on the radio.
Someone phoned in, said they knew a Harry shotton who sold secondhand car parts, but that was years back.
So I'm going to try the scrap yards next.
Good idea, but get a move on, Geoffrey.
Hansi is very depressed.
If we can't restore hope to him soon, I fear the worst.
Looking to find some spares, son? Do you stock vw beetle parts? If you can find one, we do.
I was told Harry shotton could fix me up.
Is he here? No.
Does he work here? No.
Did he work here? Who's asking? I am trying to trace him.
May be a bit of good news.
You're not a process server, are you? Just trying to bring family members together.
All right.
Yeah.
I knew Harry.
[Hitler speaking German.]
Oh [Crowd chanting "sieg heil".]
[Machine gun fire.]
[Airplane diving.]
[Silence.]
You did this.
These are your things.
Hansi, that's enough.
How could you allow this? You encourage this hounding of me.
Swinbank: You're upset.
I do not wish for anything but to provide a happy, civilized home where we can all live in harmony.
Harmony? Harmony? Oh, God This is a disgrace.
I hope whoever arranged this nasty charade is thoroughly ashamed of themselves.
It is unworthy, and if it's a joke, it's a singularly unfunny one.
I shall call a house meeting tomorrow to thrash this matter out.
No, no, please.
I want to be on my own.
Take your junk back.
It has done its work.
I had nothing to do with this, I swear.
[Knock on door.]
Hansi It's Hetty.
Don't give up the ship.
I've some idea about who might be doing this to you, but I need another day.
Can you hang on? I don't know.
Good night, Hetty.
Woman: Max, leave Brock alone.
That dog is a Saint.
Useless with sheep, but you can't have everything.
Your husband, we just wanted a word, Mrs.
shotton.
I handle farm business.
Janet: Well, it's about a relative, a German man.
I think you got the wrong bloke.
Harry used to work in the farm supply business, but he was never a German.
[Door opens.]
Mrs.
swinbank? Oh, I'm sorry to intrude.
I know you're busy, but I've locked myself out of my room.
Silly of me.
Sorry.
It's not a problem.
Aye, mum mentioned she had a brother, but I thought he died in war.
No, he tried to find you and your mother.
He's still trying.
Don't you want to meet your Uncle after all these years? There's a problem.
When I courted Brenda, I had a hell of a job with her father, you know, me being an older man.
He was set in his ways.
It was just that I never got the chance to say that I was born a German.
My wife doesn't know.
She hates liars.
Her dad is dead now, but, well, it would mean me having to say who I am, where I come from, explaining away this Uncle who I've never met.
Look.
I'm used to being English, full-blooded, even if I'm not.
No.
I'm sorry.
I can't meet this hansi bloke.
I'm sorry.
I just can't face him.
No.
I'm sorry.
[Engine starts.]
[Telephone rings.]
Frank? Yes.
Listen.
When Geoffrey comes in, would you ask him to do something for me? Town hall.
Yep.
Planning.
Ok.
Is that it? Oh.
Oh, no.
There was summat else from Geoffrey.
Now, what was it? "Harry shotton doesn't want to see his Uncle.
" It's that German bloke, isn't it? He won't make any effort to see hansi at all? No.
That it? Right.
Bye, Hetty.
That young couple, you were with them a long time.
Oh, it was nothing.
Nothing.
What's going on? It's just, there are things about me that are not all they seem.
I'm afraid I haven't made much progress with your accounts, Margaret, but, you see, a case has broken wide open, a criminal case, and Mrs.
Wainthropp couldn't proceed without me acting for her here.
Why are you dumping me, Frank? I'm not.
It's conflict of interests.
I'm a detective, not an accountant.
Not a very good detective though, are you? Oh, thank you very much.
You can't see what's under your nose.
Whatever happened to my being naked under the eyes of my own special accountant? I called this meeting because a series of peculiar incidents have occurred.
There is no need to wrap this up in fine words.
Last night was the end.
I will go, leave coverdale hall forever.
Does anyone wish to comment? I wish to state to this meeting that I had nothing to do with what occurred last night.
I'm sure whoever it was is very contrite today, a joke that went wrong.
That's the explanation I prefer.
Oh, it wasn't a joke, and for the person behind it, the outcome couldn't be more satisfactory.
Mrs.
Wainthropp, you are here only as an observer.
Hansi: Let her speak.
I asked her to help, to stop people practicing their cruelty on me.
Hansi, she's an ordinary woman who got lucky on the lottery.
The first part is true.
As for the second Ha! I've never won a raffle in me life.
What? What? I run a detective agency.
Detective agency? I'm fond of hercule poirot mysteries, and for a time, I thought I was in one.
Cyril: Oh, my, heavens! You all seemed to have motives for harming hansi.
Ted is an ex-prisoner of war, no love lost there.
Alice lost the love of her life in the war at sea, and then there is cyril with his silly-ass act.
It's not an act, miss marple.
I don't think your anti-German remarks were much of an act, either.
Most cases come down to greed in the end for money or for power.
Today I asked my brother-in-law to check details of requests for planning permission from the local authority [All murmur.]
Those concerning the coverdale hall development in particular.
What did we find? More accommodations building, less, much less, garden.
This is nonsense.
Let her talk.
Hansi would never have agreed to any development, and so, he had to be persuaded to leave coverdale hall.
A series of nasty tricks were played on him, culminating in that nuremberg rally in the middle of last night.
I've examined the plan of this house, occupation of rooms.
Only 3 people could have switched on that tape recorder and escaped unseen Alice, hansi himself, and someone who nipped downstairs, out of sight, only to reappear once the fun had started.
The same person had access to all our rooms and could have collected all that Nazi rubbish in a jiffy.
Ronald, who asked you to dress up as Adolf Hitler for the reminiscence day? I told you, Hetty.
The same person who came back upstairs last night, the one who holds the master key.
You, Mrs.
swinbank.
There is great potential for future development at coverdale hall.
I can guide you to great prosperity.
That stupid German with his loyalty to his lordship's garden can't stand in our way with his damn veto.
Hansi wouldn't be persuaded.
He had to be eased out.
You can all invest in future developments.
I did what I did for the benefit of everyone.
[All talking at once.]
You managed the funds, and you were greedy.
You wanted to extend your empire, increase your power over many more elderly people.
All you sought to benefit, Mrs.
swinbank, was yourself.
Here, here.
Incredible.
[Door slams.]
[Car doors closing.]
Hans Bauer? Yes? I think we're related.
Yes, yes, we are.
I'm Brenda.
I'm pleased to meet any relative of Harry's.
Things'll be a lot better here now Mrs.
swinbank's packed her bags.
Let's hope so.
Hetty? Thank you.
All I remember of being 10 is the hunger in an empty belly.
Such times.
May they never come again.
Keep smiling through oh.
Just like you always do [air raid siren.]
Oh.
What's going on? It's an air raid.
[Brass band music playing.]
[Laughter.]
Sieg heil.
Ha ha! Woman: Heil! Heil! [Hitler speaking German.]
[Crowd chanting "sieg heil".]
[Machine gun firing.]
[Airplane diving.]
[Crash.]
[Laughter.]
Go on, after him.
[Knock on door.]
It was only a joke, Ronald's party piece.
If you knew how it was, you would never joke.
Thank you, Frank.
You're very kind.
This is your husband? Oh, no.
My brother-in-law.
My husband is visiting family in Australia.
My visit to you is about my family, my lost family.
You want me to find your sister Irmgard, yes, and my nephew hans, the same name as mine.
That evil man Hitler said, "have sons for the fatherland.
" She and her baby were smuggled from hamburg.
After the war, I came to england.
The one address I had for her was Kendal, but nothing.
Someone said she'd married, moved away, but I had a friend she died recently who lived in the retirement home.
Gwen is a wonderful, kind English lady.
Gwen left me a little money to search for my lost family.
Her legacy won't last long, Mr.
Bauer.
Searches like this are very expensive.
Hansi, please.
That is my name.
The money was left with the purpose of finding her.
It's more than 50 years gone.
I love to smoke.
May I? Oh, yes.
Smoke.
Thank you.
My father smoked a pipe.
Uh-huh.
He was lost in the war reconnoitering a place in Italy positano.
You can holiday there now.
Yes, and in Switzerland.
I spent a year of the war packing red cross parcels there.
You will find my family.
That's all I live for now.
Your address, coverdale hall, sounds very grand.
It is.
I was very lucky.
I worked for lord coverdale.
It was his house before it became a retirement home.
He loved the grounds.
I helped him create his dream garden.
When he died, his will said that I should always have a place there.
His money pays your bills.
No.
The home is owned by the residents.
Lord coverdale bought a share for me.
I am a founding member.
I can veto any new member or any change to the house and gardens, but even so, I am the only German there.
Oh, not again, Frank.
Well, the stink of tobacco, I can't get rid of it.
How could you let that Nazi light up like that? Not all Germans were Nazis.
Hansi didn't fight against us.
He was interned in Switzerland.
Hetty, that's what they all say.
Didn't you tell me he was in the Hitler youth? Most German boys were.
It was a bit like the boy scouts at the beginning.
They didn't have much choice later.
Ha! I've heard that one a few times before, too.
Oh, I'm going into the back room, away from this.
Ah-choo! Gesundheit.
Mm, nice smell.
Don't you start.
What did this German man want? To find his family.
He had a sister and a nephew who came to england.
I said it would be difficult, impossible, really.
Where was his sister last seen? Kendal.
[Door opens and closes.]
Any luck? May I ask if you're related to irmgard Bauer? Well, I did explain.
Have you got any trace? I can't tell you that.
It's confidential.
Oh, let's leave it, then.
One moment, please.
I would like to have helped you.
Then I'd have an excuse for seeing you again.
Would I need an excuse, Janet? Yeah, you would.
My boyfriend is very jealous.
Mr.
Wallace.
Mr.
Wallace.
Huh? Oh, yes.
Are you Mr.
tudor Wallace of Wallace, sims, and alcox, solicitors? I'm sorry to intrude, but I'm trying to find the whereabouts of a woman from Germany.
Mr.
stiles at the registry office said you might be able to help me.
I am retired from my practice, long since retired.
Mr.
stiles said German prisoners of war sometimes changed their names.
Yes, yes.
Some of them even became British citizens, and you were the solicitor who did most of the what do you call it? Naturalization.
Yes.
The woman I'm looking for was named irmgard Bauer.
She had a child.
Yes.
I yes.
I remember those years immediately after the war clear and bright.
What happened yesterday is quite another matter.
The woman you want changed her name twice, once from the German and once when she got married.
She became became her boy's name.
She changed that, too.
Hans.
He became Harry, and she, by deed poll, became Irma barnwell.
She married a farmer, very fond of litigation.
Almost ruined him.
Family still have the farm shottons at threlkeld fold.
Irma barnwell.
Mm-hmm.
Thank you, Mr.
Wallace.
It's so long ago.
Oh, dear.
Oh, thank you.
One of you is best with gran.
She don't like young uns.
Geoffrey: We'll stay out here.
Janet: It's a lovely farm.
Try working it.
Your brother married a German girl.
Aye, he always liked to be different.
"Enemy," I told him.
"Don't mix their blood with ours," but no.
No.
He even learned some German from her.
They had no children.
She had one already, a lad, fathered by Hitler, for all we knew.
Oh, cheeky young devil.
When he grew up, he went off selling provin for a Roman down Preston way.
Provin? Fodder, food for animals.
And this would be Irma's son hans? Yes, Harry, Harry shotton.
Ooh, took our name.
Who did you say he worked for at Preston? Oh, mashe, scaffe I can't remember.
Why should I? Where might I find his mother? Oh, I can tell you where she is.
Up the hillside in the churchyard.
[Thunder.]
[Hansi sobbing.]
Oh, God.
I can't help myself.
It's all right.
Why shouldn't you cry? Oh, for 50 years, I have hoped.
Now I am finally all alone.
First my friend Gwen, now Irma.
Have you anybody back in Germany? Nein, nein.
Verschollen.
Lost, missing.
Irma, how did she die? A blood disease.
That's what the family she married into said.
Poor Irma.
Her life was ruined by that slime Hitler.
She believed him.
Her baby, your nephew, is called Harry shotton.
I can try to locate him.
Do I go on? Ja yes.
I will pay you.
You go now, please? [Sniffle.]
It's a swastika.
A sw hansi, why are you planting such a thing? Not planting, digging up.
A kind resident did this during the night.
To upset you? Why? They love a joke.
They want me to give up, to take my life, stop my veto, make my share available.
Somebody planted this thing to upset you in the hope of driving you away? I am sick and sad with it, Hetty.
[Sobbing.]
Have you any idea who might be behind this? Someone hates me, but who and why is a mystery.
A few numbers on a piece of paper have changed our lives.
We passed here yesterday, didn't we? Couldn't resist the gardens, peeked in a window or two.
I didn't win millions, just enough to buy a bit of peace and quiet in nice surroundings.
Coverdale hall is perfect for that.
We have a share that's become available, owing to a recent death.
We sometimes offer a week's trial at a cost of £750, inclusive.
Oh, that would be ideal, wouldn't it, children? Geoffrey: That's a lot of money.
[Whispering.]
I can afford it now.
Janet: So long as you're happy, mum.
I can give it a try, just for a week.
Well, the room was very nice.
I am sure the food will be good, and the gardens are beautiful.
[Sobs.]
I mustn't cry.
Now, you two, get down to Preston and see if you can trace hansi's nephew.
Harry shotton? That's him.
Ring round all the animal feed suppliers, visit a few farms, put an advert in a paper.
Right.
Off you go.
Ok Mumsie.
Oh! Oh.
Ha ha ha! Janet is only playing the part of your daughter, Mrs.
Wainthropp.
I know.
She's a nice lass, Geoffrey.
Oh.
Well, do your duty.
Oh, yes.
Be brave, mum.
Be off with you.
[Hetty sobbing.]
Mrs.
Wainthropp, I'd like you to meet cyril, cyril sopwith.
How do you do? What ho! Trying as on 7 day" approval, what? Yes.
I'm henrietta.
I thought cyril could show you around, make some introductions to other members of our happy home.
Oh, I'd like that.
What should I call you? Oh, Mrs.
swinbank.
I hope you don't mind.
A little formality is best in management.
I have things to do.
I'll leave you with cyril.
[Chuckles.]
Somebody has ruined a fine lawn.
It looks a bit like that Nazi thingamajig.
We've a German chap who gardens.
Probably wanted to remind himself of die vaterland.
Oh, it's just a joke, don't you know? This is the gang, mostly retired purveyors and failed confidence tricksters.
What ho, gang of mine? May I present to the court of queen Alice the lady henrietta Wainthropp? Milady, Alice, Rachel, Ronald, Ted.
Hetty: Nice to meet you.
Alice: Don't let cyril bother you.
He suffers from having discovered p.
G.
Wodehouse at an advanced age.
It's true.
[Both chuckle.]
Mystery writers are my cup of tea.
Ted: Oh, I've often thought coverdale hall would be a perfect setting for a murder.
Anyone any idea as to a victim? Oh, one or two.
Well, one.
Oh, yes, indeed.
Yes.
Come, Hetty.
Let's leave these murderous people and find more inmates to bore you with, eh? Hmm.
Say, steady on.
There's something in there.
It looks to be very sore.
Hmm, Thorn in the jolly old flesh, what? You'll need some drawing out ointment on that.
Got it yesterday stealing roses from herr hansi's precious garden.
Not a word.
No bleating to matron, huh? Find me a needle.
I'll operate straight away.
[Chuckles.]
[Electronic dance music playing.]
Your driving's improving? Few more years, and you'll be distinctly average.
Time to eat before Preston, Geoff? Yeah, I suppose so.
Well, we can split the cost.
Never knew cars would be so expensive.
They're hungry things.
Yeah.
We've got plenty of time to find somewhere to eat.
Mrs.
Wainthropp wants us to put an advert in the newspapers and search around farm suppliers, but I have a much better idea of how we can find Harry shotton and have an afternoon for ourselves.
Oh, yeah? Yes.
Oh! Ohh Mm! I say, that needle is sterilized, what? Yes, with fire.
Hmm? This is quite deep.
You got it stealing roses yesterday, you said.
Shh.
It's a secret known only to a select few, Hetty.
You see that lady? I'm deeply enamored.
Oh, she doesn't know it's me.
I place roses outside her room with a card saying, "from a secret admirer.
" Would you be still? Yes.
Sorry, nurse.
Who is this, herr hansi? Oh, some residents might tolerate that hun, but he's persona non grata to those who matter here.
Aah! Keep still.
Why is it that your gang doesn't like him? Well, may be something to do with the way he goose-steps through the gardens barking out orders.
Oh! Ah! Oh.
Ahh.
I say, I'm bleeding.
Good.
What? It'll cleanse the wound.
Yes! Fixed an interview tomorrow, on air this Saturday.
Hey, cool.
Save a bit of time.
Yeah.
Do you think I should phone work? You're on holiday.
Yeah.
There's a new boss.
Well, you're with me.
I'm hungry.
Me, too.
For lunch.
Oh, that, as well.
Tsk tsk tsk tsk.
Frank? Frank Is it really you? Oh, how lovely to see you.
Oh, mustn't embarrass you in public, must I? Sorry.
We can fraternize now.
But I thought detectives weren't meant to socialize with their ex-clients.
Oh, that's a silly rule, and anyway, the woman that made it, Hetty Wainthropp, is no longer with us.
You mean Oh, no, no, no.
She's gone into a home.
Oh, dear.
Is that a fact? Undercover work.
I myself am working away from the criminal front for once, trying to put the agency on a more viable business footing.
The accounts, oh, they're dreadful.
You're so versatile, Frank.
Oh, dear.
Gas masks needed again.
What, dear? Fritz the fumigator.
By his smell shall we know him.
[Coughs.]
I shall smoke my pipe in my room because that is a good excuse not to visit, yes? Yes? Hetty, good night.
Good night.
Some people should be ashamed of themselves.
Some people should mind their own damn business.
How's the mystery? Oh, murder aplenty.
I don't suppose we'll have one here.
More is the pity.
Driving someone to despair is a kind of murder.
You're newly arrived here.
Better to go carefully when making friends at first, Hetty.
You mean, better that I should ignore hansi? I know Germans.
I was a prisoner at one of their camps.
Hansi was a prisoner, too.
Internment.
That's very different.
The loss of freedom is the same, isn't it? Excuse me.
Frank: Come in.
Come in.
Sit down.
Sit down.
Now, what is it, Margaret? You can tell me.
Income tax.
I'm supposed to assess myself, and I can't.
Everyone thinks I'm so capable, but I'm a dunce with figures.
Margaret I could help you.
Of course I could.
Have you thought what that would mean? No, what? Well, I'd know all your personal details.
There is a saying that we all become naked under the eyes of our accountant.
I wouldn't mind that, Frank.
[Big band playing "body and soul".]
Uh My heart is sad and lonely I hate the world that doesn't contain you.
How can I live when you're away from me? I can't bear the thought of you away from me.
Hold me.
I'm all for you hold me.
[Music stops.]
Is it time? Yes.
Has he gone? Yes.
I loved him so much.
I can still hear the music.
Harry's mother was German irmgard.
They called her Irma.
Unfortunately, she died in 1969, and Harry moved to Preston.
His Uncle would very much like to make contact.
He's never met his Uncle hansi? No, but if he wants, he can phone in.
Putting lost people together, that's what we're here for.
Geoff, thanks for coming in off those mean streets.
We'll be back with another "where are you now?" Tomorrow.
Thanks very much, Geoff.
Ok.
Hansi: And cyril, he hates me most of all.
He pokes fun at me, he steals my roses.
I don't laugh at his silly-ass speech.
Yes.
He could have moved those plants, one of his jokes.
What does Mrs.
swinbank say? She got any ideas about stopping this nonsense? Nothing.
I did not tell her.
Whyever not? She would not understand.
No one does.
Hetty: Who's your main suspect Alice, Rachel, Ted, cyril, and what's this other chap who is in the gang Ronald? Ja, maybe Ronald.
He dressed up as Adolf Hitler just to humiliate me.
Oh, yes, and he collects Nazi mementos.
He has a flag, armbands, costume, tape recordings in his room.
If he had lived under that regime, he would not be so fascinated.
What do you think of my garden? It's absolutely beautiful.
Ja.
His lordship and I created all this beauty.
It was our life's work.
Every day, I think of him.
I'd be no good as a model, you know? Hetty, I'm sorry about last night.
It was the anniversary of my first wedding day.
We had one night together.
I hadn't realized the music was so loud.
I'm sorry.
Your first husband? Yes.
He was on the York.
It went down with all hands German torpedo.
I married twice since then, but it was never the same.
You only love one man completely.
George was mine.
In wartime, men have to fight, kill each other.
Some women find it hard to forgive their enemies.
Yes.
At my age, memories are supposed to fade.
Mine get sharper.
I think, I love my poor lost husband more than ever now.
Why does others walk and breathe and he lies at the bottom of the sea? [Telephone rings.]
Wainthropp detective agency.
What's going on, Geoffrey? Any news? I called the farm provision merchants, no George so far, and I put out a call on the radio.
Someone phoned in, said they knew a Harry shotton who sold secondhand car parts, but that was years back.
So I'm going to try the scrap yards next.
Good idea, but get a move on, Geoffrey.
Hansi is very depressed.
If we can't restore hope to him soon, I fear the worst.
Looking to find some spares, son? Do you stock vw beetle parts? If you can find one, we do.
I was told Harry shotton could fix me up.
Is he here? No.
Does he work here? No.
Did he work here? Who's asking? I am trying to trace him.
May be a bit of good news.
You're not a process server, are you? Just trying to bring family members together.
All right.
Yeah.
I knew Harry.
[Hitler speaking German.]
Oh [Crowd chanting "sieg heil".]
[Machine gun fire.]
[Airplane diving.]
[Silence.]
You did this.
These are your things.
Hansi, that's enough.
How could you allow this? You encourage this hounding of me.
Swinbank: You're upset.
I do not wish for anything but to provide a happy, civilized home where we can all live in harmony.
Harmony? Harmony? Oh, God This is a disgrace.
I hope whoever arranged this nasty charade is thoroughly ashamed of themselves.
It is unworthy, and if it's a joke, it's a singularly unfunny one.
I shall call a house meeting tomorrow to thrash this matter out.
No, no, please.
I want to be on my own.
Take your junk back.
It has done its work.
I had nothing to do with this, I swear.
[Knock on door.]
Hansi It's Hetty.
Don't give up the ship.
I've some idea about who might be doing this to you, but I need another day.
Can you hang on? I don't know.
Good night, Hetty.
Woman: Max, leave Brock alone.
That dog is a Saint.
Useless with sheep, but you can't have everything.
Your husband, we just wanted a word, Mrs.
shotton.
I handle farm business.
Janet: Well, it's about a relative, a German man.
I think you got the wrong bloke.
Harry used to work in the farm supply business, but he was never a German.
[Door opens.]
Mrs.
swinbank? Oh, I'm sorry to intrude.
I know you're busy, but I've locked myself out of my room.
Silly of me.
Sorry.
It's not a problem.
Aye, mum mentioned she had a brother, but I thought he died in war.
No, he tried to find you and your mother.
He's still trying.
Don't you want to meet your Uncle after all these years? There's a problem.
When I courted Brenda, I had a hell of a job with her father, you know, me being an older man.
He was set in his ways.
It was just that I never got the chance to say that I was born a German.
My wife doesn't know.
She hates liars.
Her dad is dead now, but, well, it would mean me having to say who I am, where I come from, explaining away this Uncle who I've never met.
Look.
I'm used to being English, full-blooded, even if I'm not.
No.
I'm sorry.
I can't meet this hansi bloke.
I'm sorry.
I just can't face him.
No.
I'm sorry.
[Engine starts.]
[Telephone rings.]
Frank? Yes.
Listen.
When Geoffrey comes in, would you ask him to do something for me? Town hall.
Yep.
Planning.
Ok.
Is that it? Oh.
Oh, no.
There was summat else from Geoffrey.
Now, what was it? "Harry shotton doesn't want to see his Uncle.
" It's that German bloke, isn't it? He won't make any effort to see hansi at all? No.
That it? Right.
Bye, Hetty.
That young couple, you were with them a long time.
Oh, it was nothing.
Nothing.
What's going on? It's just, there are things about me that are not all they seem.
I'm afraid I haven't made much progress with your accounts, Margaret, but, you see, a case has broken wide open, a criminal case, and Mrs.
Wainthropp couldn't proceed without me acting for her here.
Why are you dumping me, Frank? I'm not.
It's conflict of interests.
I'm a detective, not an accountant.
Not a very good detective though, are you? Oh, thank you very much.
You can't see what's under your nose.
Whatever happened to my being naked under the eyes of my own special accountant? I called this meeting because a series of peculiar incidents have occurred.
There is no need to wrap this up in fine words.
Last night was the end.
I will go, leave coverdale hall forever.
Does anyone wish to comment? I wish to state to this meeting that I had nothing to do with what occurred last night.
I'm sure whoever it was is very contrite today, a joke that went wrong.
That's the explanation I prefer.
Oh, it wasn't a joke, and for the person behind it, the outcome couldn't be more satisfactory.
Mrs.
Wainthropp, you are here only as an observer.
Hansi: Let her speak.
I asked her to help, to stop people practicing their cruelty on me.
Hansi, she's an ordinary woman who got lucky on the lottery.
The first part is true.
As for the second Ha! I've never won a raffle in me life.
What? What? I run a detective agency.
Detective agency? I'm fond of hercule poirot mysteries, and for a time, I thought I was in one.
Cyril: Oh, my, heavens! You all seemed to have motives for harming hansi.
Ted is an ex-prisoner of war, no love lost there.
Alice lost the love of her life in the war at sea, and then there is cyril with his silly-ass act.
It's not an act, miss marple.
I don't think your anti-German remarks were much of an act, either.
Most cases come down to greed in the end for money or for power.
Today I asked my brother-in-law to check details of requests for planning permission from the local authority [All murmur.]
Those concerning the coverdale hall development in particular.
What did we find? More accommodations building, less, much less, garden.
This is nonsense.
Let her talk.
Hansi would never have agreed to any development, and so, he had to be persuaded to leave coverdale hall.
A series of nasty tricks were played on him, culminating in that nuremberg rally in the middle of last night.
I've examined the plan of this house, occupation of rooms.
Only 3 people could have switched on that tape recorder and escaped unseen Alice, hansi himself, and someone who nipped downstairs, out of sight, only to reappear once the fun had started.
The same person had access to all our rooms and could have collected all that Nazi rubbish in a jiffy.
Ronald, who asked you to dress up as Adolf Hitler for the reminiscence day? I told you, Hetty.
The same person who came back upstairs last night, the one who holds the master key.
You, Mrs.
swinbank.
There is great potential for future development at coverdale hall.
I can guide you to great prosperity.
That stupid German with his loyalty to his lordship's garden can't stand in our way with his damn veto.
Hansi wouldn't be persuaded.
He had to be eased out.
You can all invest in future developments.
I did what I did for the benefit of everyone.
[All talking at once.]
You managed the funds, and you were greedy.
You wanted to extend your empire, increase your power over many more elderly people.
All you sought to benefit, Mrs.
swinbank, was yourself.
Here, here.
Incredible.
[Door slams.]
[Car doors closing.]
Hans Bauer? Yes? I think we're related.
Yes, yes, we are.
I'm Brenda.
I'm pleased to meet any relative of Harry's.
Things'll be a lot better here now Mrs.
swinbank's packed her bags.
Let's hope so.
Hetty? Thank you.
All I remember of being 10 is the hunger in an empty belly.
Such times.
May they never come again.