Lip Sync Battle (2015) s03e08 Episode Script

1 - Oh! - (rock music playing) Friends say it's fine, friends say it's good Everybody says It's just like Robin Hood Well, it's plain to see You were meant for me, yeah I'm your boy Your 20th century toy (thuds) - (feedback) - (cheering) - (rock music playing) - LL: Yeah! He's my other half of the Lip Sync household.
You know him.
You love him.
Give it up for LL Cool J! (cheering) Hands in the air! Hands in the air! - Say, "Yeah!" - Crowd: Yeah! - Say, "Hell yeah!" - Crowd: Hell yeah! Now scream! (crowd screaming) LL: Oh man! Welcome to Lip Sync Battle! We gather the hottest stars and mix them with your favorite songs to give you the craziest performances you've ever seen.
Before we bring out our two battlers, I've got to introduce our colorful commentator.
Ladies and gentlemen, Chrissy Teigen.
Everywhere I go, go, go, go, go All they do is stare and stare All they do is stare and stare All they do is stare and stare And stare and stare (crowd cheering) LL: Go, Chrissy.
Go, Chrissy.
Go, go, go, Chrissy.
Go, Chrissy.
Go, Chrissy.
Hey! Walk it.
Walk it.
Oh my god.
Tonight, we're doing battle.
Like, it's gonna be crazy.
We're gonna see a comedic genius You know I love it when we have a comedian versus an actor.
When a comedian is on, for me, I'm like, "It's on.
" - It's gonna be absolutely on.
- I'm excited.
- Are you ready for this? - I am ready for this.
- Let's fire it up! - Let's do it.
- You guys ready to go? - (crowd cheering) He's been in some of our favorite films, from Boogie Nights to Ocean series, the blockbuster Iron Man franchise.
He played to our souls as Miles Davis in his directorial debut Miles Ahead, but tonight, he's only focused on the LSB belt, Ladies and gentlemen, actor extraordinaire, Don Cheadle! (cheering) And this Emmy-winning actress, producer, and comedian sold-out shows across America as well as making us laugh on ABC's hit show Black-ish.
Give it up for the uber-talented Wanda Sykes! (cheering) Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
- (LL laughs) - Chrissy: Oh my gosh.
What's up, guys? - Good.
Good.
- Feeling good.
Ready to go.
All right.
Well, Wanda, you take a seat in the VIP for a second.
- Yes.
- LL: Just for a second.
- So Don.
- Yes? What song you going with first? I think I'm gonna do Real Love from Mary J.
Blige.
(cheering) Ladies and gentlemen, Don Cheadle! (music playing) Ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh We are lovers true and through and though We made it through the storm I really want you to realize I really want to put you on I've been searchin' for someone To satisfy my every need Won't you be my inspiration Be the real love that I need? Yeah Real love I'm searchin' for a real love Someone to set my heart free Real love, oh I'm searchin' for a real love Got to have a real love Love so true, and oh, baby I thought that love was you I thought you were the answer to The question in my mind But it seems that I was wrong If I stay strong, maybe I'll find my Real love I'm searchin' for a real love - Hey! Hey! - Someone to set my heart free Real love I'm searchin' for a real love - (music stops) - (cheering) (LL laughs) Oh! - Chrissy? - Oh my gosh! - I mean, what'd you think, Chrissy? - I love that song.
Oh, I love that song so much.
It's such a strong first song, too.
I'm into it.
Oh, I'm feeling good now.
- I'm feeling good.
- LL: Yeah, that's amazing.
That's a good vibe.
So, Wanda What what are your what's your opinion on Don's performance? What do you think? I wanted to come out there and help you a little bit, you know? - (Chrissy laughing) - (cheering) Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- I wanted to help you a little bit.
- Don: Yeah.
(laughs) Don, you can have a seat in the VIP.
- Don: Thank you.
Hi, Wanda.
- Wanda, come on down.
LL: Careful.
Careful over there.
So, Wanda, what song are you gonna use to even the score? I gotta give a message to the ladies - (cheering) - Wanda: Yes.
- Oh yeah.
- So that's this is a message for this young generation, let them know how they should be treated, - so there you go.
- LL: Oh, okay.
Ladies and gentlemen, Wanda Sykes! (cheering) U.
N.
I.
T.
Y.
U.
N.
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T.
Y.
, that's a unity - Yeah! - U.
N.
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Y.
Love a black man from infinity to infinity Who you calling a bitch? U.
N.
I.
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Y.
U.
N.
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T.
Y.
that's a unity, come on, here we go Yeah, you gotta let him know You ain't a bitch or a ho Instinct leads me to another flow Every time I hear a brother call a girl a bitch or a ho Trying to make a sister feel low You know all of that gots to go Now everybody knows there's exceptions to this rule Now don't be getting mad, when we playing, it's cool But don't you be calling out my name I bring wrath to those who disrespect me like a dame That's why I'm talking, one day I was walking down the block I had my cutoff shorts on, right, 'cause it was crazy hot I walked past these dudes when they passed me One of 'em felt my booty, he was nasty I turned around red, somebody was catching the wrath - Then the little one said - (man laughs) Yeah, me, bitch.
And laughed since he was with his boys, he tried to break fly Huh, I punched him dead in his eye And said, "Who you calling a bitch?" Yeah, you gotta let him know - You go, come on here we go - U.
N.
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Y.
That's a unity - U.
N.
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T.
Y.
- Yeah, you got to let him know You ain't a bitch or a ho, here we go - U.
N.
I.
T.
Y.
- You gotta let him know - U.
N.
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T.
Y.
- Come on, here we go - U.
N.
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Y.
- You must let 'em know You ain't a bitch or a ho - (music stops) - (cheering) - (mic thuds) - (feedback) Don: Is she leaving? - LL: Yeah! - (cheering continues) - LL: Man! - Wow! Chrissy! Do you think Wanda earned her place on the throne with that? Oh, you can definitely squeeze on that Queen Latifah throne for sure.
I felt that girl anthem, and I'm feeling it now.
- I love it.
- LL: Don? Do you think she can unite the crowd against you - with that performance? What are you feeling? - I mean, you did - you did what you could do with the song.
- (Chrissy gasps) - Oh.
- Crowd: Oh! - I mean, it's you know, it's big shoes to fill.
- Right.
It's big shoes to fill.
She did great.
You did great, Wanda.
I want you to feel good about yourself.
Chrissy: U.
N.
I.
T.
Y.
- Thanks, Don.
- That's unity! All right, Wanda, you go up to the VIP As the quest for the belt continues! It's Lip Sync Battle! Who you calling a bitch? Yeah, you got to let him know You go, come on, here we go We're back! Well, Lip Sync Battle has been loving unity thus far.
Our two contenders, Don Cheadle and Wanda Sykes, are giving us their best.
Now round two, they'll take the competition to another stratosphere.
First, let's see how Don plans to bring the LSB belt home.
- Welcome to the show, Don.
- Thank you.
Appreciate it.
Should I just play it? Should we just go for it? - And have fun? - Yeah, let's just mess around, - see what happens.
- Yeah, absolutely.
- Ha, ha, ha.
- Don: Ha, ha, ha.
Yeah, yeah, even if you just do the arms.
- Ha, ha, ha.
- Yay! (Laughs) You guys must have some real no-can-move people up here.
- Like, "He put his hands up in the air! All right!" - (laughter) You are wearing this.
- Oh my god.
Hot.
- The big flight suit.
- Perfect.
- Awesome.
Man: And when you go on stage, be aware there's three pyro blocks stage left.
(Don speaks) "You gonna fly, then you're gonna go through fire, "then you're gonna go through water, "then you're gonna go through ashes, "then the alligators.
And that's just rehearsal.
" Woman on P.
A.
: Three cue Don.
Come on, cue Don.
LL: Ladies and gentlemen, Don Cheadle! (crowd cheering) (cheering) - LL: Hey! - Woman: That's how we pick a winner.
(Don speaks) - (laughter) - Woman: That is right after.
Don, if you want to take that off, you don't have to wear it anymore.
- No.
- (laughter) Woman: All right, put it back on.
I think it's gonna be all right.
- (rock music playing) - (man speaks indiscernibly on P.
A.
) Woman: Here comes Don Cheadle.
Man 2: Walking with Don.
- Woman 2: How you feeling? - Feeling great.
- Ready to go.
- Woman: Five seconds.
Man: Dancers, you know! (cheering) I'm coming out - Mm-mm-hmm - I'm coming Now, who's hot, who not Tell me who rock, who sell out in the stores You tell me who flopped, who copped the blue drop Who jewels got robbed, who's mostly Goldie down No PhD hold me down, Cooter Schooled me to the game, now I know my duty Stay humble, stay low, blow like Hootie True pimp spend no dough on the booty And then ya yell, "There go Mase, there go your cutie" I don't know what they want from me It's like the more money we come across Yeah yeah, ahaha, I'm the C-to-the-A to-the-D-D-Y Know you'd rather see me die than to see me fly I call all the shots, rip all the spots Rock all the rocks, cop all the drops I know you thinking now's enough time here Ain't enough lime here for you to shine here Deal with many women, but treat dimes fair And I'm bigger than the city lights down in Times Square Yeah, yeah, yeah - I don't know what they want from me - Whoo! It's like the more money we come across The more problems we see - Get up! - B.
I.
G.
, P-O, P-P-A, No info for the DEA Federal agents mad 'cause I'm flagrant Tap my cell, and the phone in the basement Your name, I got to know, I got to go Got the flow down phizat, platinum plus Like thizat, dangerous On trizack, leave your kizzack I don't know what they want from me It's like the more money we come across The more problems we see, I'm (cheering) LL: Oh! Don Cheadle! Featuring Mase! Mase! Oh.
That was crazy! Make some noise! - (cheering) - Chrissy: Oh my god.
- So, Chrissy - Oh my god.
were you over there doing the Diddy dance? I was doing the Diddy, the Puffy, the Piffy, the Poofy, the Puffy the Puff The everything.
Oh my god, Mase is here, you guys.
- Are you kidding me? - LL: Mase! - Mase.
- Yeah? On that record I know people ask you all the time, but what was it like working with Big on that particular song at that time? What was the energy like? Oh, it was so it was so amazing.
It was actually my song.
- Oh! - Then Puff came in and was like, "We're using it for Biggie's album," so I was excited to know I made Biggie's album.
- Yeah, yeah, well, you just did it with Don Cheadle - Chrissy: He said that? on Lip Sync Battle, so it's still dope.
So, Wanda Don, you kicked it, and you know, and we been having a great time here, and Lip Sync Battle taking good care of us, so I want you to go back to your green room and wrap up all the food they have - (laughter) - for us to take home.
Chrissy: Not Reynolds.
It's not Reynolds! You guys head over to the VIP.
- Don, Mase, you guys go to the VIP.
- All right.
Don Cheadle brought out Mase and just tried to float his way to the title.
Let's see if Wanda can show him what fly really is.
There's only one more performance before the champ is crowned.
Let's go! This is LSB.
I don't know what they want from me It's like the more money we come across - The more problems we see - I'm the C-to-the-A Lip Sync Battle is back, and the gauntlet has been thrown.
It's all or nothing right now.
Don is in battle mode.
He showed us that he's determined to get that belt, but now let's see how Wanda got her game plan together - for LSB.
- (cheering) Group: Yay! - They gave me a lot, girl.
- How are you? - How you doing? - Welcome to the madness.
Wanda: Hello.
- You can break out and do whatever you want - Okay.
and just have fun.
Okay.
I'm gonna play it.
- (dance music playing) - (cheering) Yes! Awesome! - Okay.
Okay.
Cool.
- That looks good.
What's Cheadle gonna do? My expectations are low.
Actually, I think during his first performance, I'm gonna take a Kaepernick knee, just in protest.
Woman on P.
A.
: Clear the stage.
We're gonna do a full-out performance.
- Hey.
All right.
- (woman speaks indistinctly) So, I'm gonna come in on a giant tampon.
- (laughter) - Is that what we're doing? - (dance music playing) - (cheering) - That was amazing! - Woo! I gotta go take a nap.
- Woman on P.
A.
: Cue people.
- Woo! Woman: Let's clean this, everything but the runway.
Going up against Don Cheadle? It's candy from a baby.
I really hate doing this to him.
(cheering) (harp music playing) (rock music playing) Well, I guess it would be nice If I could touch your body I know not everybody Has got a body like you, uhh But I've got to think twice Before I give my heart away And I know all the games you play Because I play them too Oh, but I Need some time off from that emotion Time to pick my heart up off the floor Oh, when that love comes down Without devotion Well, it takes a strong man, baby But I'm showing you the door 'Cause I gotta have faith - I gotta faith - Man: 30 seconds.
Because I got to have faith, faith, faith I got to have faith, faith, faith (vocalizing) - Ooh! Aah! - Faith I gotta, gotta, gotta have faith Before this river becomes an ocean Before you throw my heart back on the floor Oh, oh, baby, I reconsider my foolish notion Well, I need someone to hold me But I wait for something more 'Cause I've gotta have faith Unh, I gotta have faith Because I got to have faith, faith, faith I got to have faith, faith, faith - (cheering) - LL: Woo! Woo! Wow.
- Wow.
- LL: Chrissy! After seeing Wanda, are you now a believer? I'm more than a believer.
I'm the ones where you touch their forehead and they're like (babbles) and they go crazy.
- (pops) - Ah! - Whoa! - Chrissy: I'm that.
- That's where I'm at.
- So, what did you feel just then? Were you like? I felt like a Victoria's Secret angel for the first time in my life.
- So so I'll take that.
- Naughty, naughty.
- But I'm feeling it.
Oh! - So, Don - you scared over there? - Yeah.
(laughter) I mean, she flew across the room, - and angels and fog.
- (audience laughs) - Yeah, I I didn't know about the fog.
- I went with fog, yeah.
I didn't know we could get fog.
I would've tried to get fog.
- You can get anything here, baby.
Anything.
- I'm sorry, Cheadle.
Oh, don't be sorry.
- Wanda? You have a seat in the VIP.
- Yes.
Thank you.
- Just relax.
- All right.
I guess it would be nice Don hit us with a little ditty.
Wanda sent it up to heavens with her performance.
Now it's up to our in-house audience to crown a winner.
Don't go anywhere! It's LSB! I got to have faith Because I got to have faith Welcome back to Lip Sync Battle! Don Cheadle and Wanda Sykes showed up, and showed out in an unforgettable battle.
Now it's time to crown the Lip Sync Battle champion.
- Chrissy? - Yes.
- LL: Let's do this thing.
- (cheering) Is the champ Wanda Sykes? (cheering) Or is the champ Don Cheadle? (cheering loudly) (whooping) And the Lip Sync Battle champion is - Don Cheadle! - (cheering) - I know.
I know.
- Yo, Don.
You're the champ.
Are you honored to wear the belt? - (crowd chanting) Cheadle, Cheadle, Cheadle - I, um - Cheadle, Cheadle, Cheadle, Cheadle! - Yes, thank you.
Thank you.
First I wanna say a very big thank you to my competitor Wanda Sykes.
- She was amazing.
- (cheering) I love her.
And thank all of you.
Thank all of you.
I appreciate it so much.
I will wear the belt with pride.
- All right.
Now, Wanda - What? Look, you did your thing tonight and the audience loved you.
- Yeah.
- Tell us about your experience.
The audience loved me.
They didn't love me enough.
And I want all y'all to go home and rethink your decision.
And you will not sleep tonight.
You will not sleep tonight.
It's been a good experience, except for losing.
I don't like to lose.
- (laughter) - You suck.
I'm coming On that note, big thanks to Don and Wanda for rocking with the Lip Sync family! Shout out to Mase for being with us here tonight! One love from me, LL Cool J, and Chrissy Teigen.
And remember whatever you do in life, knock 'em out of the box, L! Knock 'em out, L! I don't know what they want from me It's like the more money we come across - The more problems we see - I'm the C-to-the-A To-the-D-D-Y Know you'd rather see me die than to see me fly I call all the shots, rip all the spots Rock all the rocks, cop all the drops I know you thinking now's when all the balling stops