Rosehaven (2016) s03e08 Episode Script

1 [HORN BLARES.]
[SHOUTS.]
Thanks a lot! - Was that for you or me? - You can have it.
Oh! That is bullshit.
We didn't lose it.
We just never let them get it.
Well, when you put it like that, I'm sure they'll forgive us.
Good morning.
Um, we would like two long blacks, please.
One weak.
That's his.
Really? I mean, come on, we can't even get a coffee now? We didn't know the council were trying to build a park, OK? We were just trying to get the most amount of money for our client, same as we would for anyone.
You just lost $6.
- [SHOP BELL CHIMES.]
- Morning, Mrs.
Marsh.
Good morning, Mrs.
Marsh.
Not you too? [SIGHS.]
Actually, I can't tell if she's ignoring us - or she just can't hear us.
- A park would have been nice.
[DANIEL SIGHS.]
[SIGHS.]
Mum? Mum, are you giving us the silent treatment too? What? Just normal coldness.
Can we talk to you for a sec? I just got an email from one of my landlords saying they're considering switching to a different agency.
We didn't do anything wrong.
I know.
So, what do we do? We're just gonna have to ride it out.
Did you get that from the bakery? Yeah.
What? It's not fair.
How bad is this for the business? Really? It could hurt us.
How much? We may be the only office in Rosehaven, but we're not isolated enough to be people's only option.
OK, what if we still get Lionel the money for his land and the town doesn't hate us? Yeah? How? I don't know! I haven't had a coffee! Yeah, we know Even if we had so far to go Even if the pace is slow Well, I'll be coming home to you again If we find Something to feel that we belong If we could right all the wrongs Well, I'll be coming home to you again.
Looks good to me.
Just sign here? Yep.
I must say, I'm quite excited to be a landowner.
I feel like I should get a hat or something.
[CHUCKLES.]
Hey just out of curiosity, what were you planning on doing with the land? 'Cause you know what'd be awesome? - A park.
- I agree.
Hmm? No, no, no, no, no.
Henry and I will be leasing it out to the highest bidder.
I mean, Rosehaven doesn't even have a fast food chain yet.
There are a lot of exciting possibilities.
- Parks are exciting.
- [PHONE CHIMES.]
Sorry.
That's Henry.
We're off to Gerald's rock winery for the day.
What happens next? Uh, we take this to the owner and we'll let you know if the offer's been accepted.
Great.
I'll keep my phone on me.
How exciting! - Yeah.
- Great.
[SHOP BELL CHIMES.]
A fast food chain?! Is she serious? Sometimes they have a play area out the back, so that's kind of a park.
- Get up.
- What for? We are gonna march down to the council and convince them to increase their offer.
Yeah, but we can't tell them what Aunty Jenny's offer is, so even if they change their offer, they could still fall short.
Or they could fall long.
Alright, but can we drive instead of marching? Yeah, we'll just tell them we marched.
Hi.
Could we please speak to someone from Infrastructure and Amenities? Please hold.
[TYPES.]
- They're coming.
- Thank you.
[DOOR OPENS.]
- Maybe someone else? - WOMAN: Hey.
- BOTH: Hi.
- You're back.
We are.
Um, you know how I rang and said we'd found another buyer for the block of land? Mmm.
Yes, you were laughing.
You told me to "suck it" at one point.
Uh, well, good news.
The owner hasn't seen your offer yet, so we are here to give the Green Valley Council a chance at putting in a new one.
You can still build the park! Congratulations.
- What a great day.
- Great day.
We're only willing to go to $110,000.
Yes, and I'm saying you might want to put in a different amount.
We're not gonna go any higher.
It's not in our budget.
OK, what was the park gonna have in it if the offer did go through? Swings, monkey bars, a slide.
Big enough for adults? Right, well, what if you built less of that stuff and then used the leftover money to change your offer? All of the amenities are budgeted separately.
Well can't you just budget more? You two don't know much about infrastructure, do you? We didn't know you were gonna build a park.
I mean, you should have told us when you made an offer.
Is that a requirement to purchase? - Yes, it is.
- It isn't.
Is there anything else I can help you with? You haven't helped us with this.
Thanks for coming.
- [DOOR CLOSES.]
- There's no-one else? What if you worked for NASA and your job was to look for meteorites that were gonna destroy the earth, but you were having such a bad day that you spotted one and instead of raising the alarm, you just went, "That's fine"? This isn't that bad.
We can brainstorm over lunch.
I'm meeting Grace for a pub meal today.
Oh.
Are you gonna talk to her? I mean, I know you'll talk to her, but, I mean, about - Nuh.
- No more doubts? They're still there.
I've just found a box in my head to keep them in.
Oh, sounds healthy.
I just don't see how it'll help if I tell her, "I'm worried we're not right for each other.
" Talking might help.
I don't know.
Whatever you do, I'm here for you.
Except for right now, can you drop me at work? Sure.
[QUIET CHATTER.]
[CHATTER STOPS.]
- GRACE: Hey.
- Hey.
How's everything going? MAN: Thanks a lot, arsehole! Could be better.
Can I get you anything, Grace? Um, could I please have a soda water? Um, I'd like a drink too, thanks.
- What did you want? - Uh, lemonade.
Could I have a lemonade too, please? Are you drinking both? - Um, yes.
- Don't believe you.
Well, can I at least order food, Dave? We're here for lunch.
If you trust Tammy to cook it for you.
Come on, Tammy! I feel like I'm back at school, but now the whole town's bullying me.
Well, you survived it once.
And at least I was gonna say they don't know where we live, but most people do.
But I'm sorry.
I'm not being much help.
It's OK.
Thanks.
- Um, Grace - Yes? There's something I've been keeping from you and I'm scared to tell you about it.
Right, just so I don't panic, it's not that you have a secret wife and children in Rosstown, is it? It's not that.
OK.
Or any other town? - No other town.
- OK.
Um, you've been my only girlfriend ever, and I'm scared about that.
Right.
Why? I know relationships are supposed to have their ups and downs.
I'm just I've got no idea how many ups and downs we're supposed to have.
I've got nothing to compare us to.
I can't even give you an example.
I just I'm worried these doubts will never go away.
It has felt different lately.
Like we're running out of batteries or something.
- Your chicken parma.
- Thanks, Tammy.
- We can go halves.
- [CALLS OUT.]
No sharing! [SHOP BELL CHIMES.]
Hi, mate.
Are you OK? We talked.
What happened? Tell me.
I mean, obviously you don't have to tell me, but if I had a choice I told her how I'm feeling.
We just never really sorted anything out.
I just watched her eat a chicken parma.
OK.
Want to hear some hate mail we got so we feel bad together? Sure.
Mrs.
Marsh? Hit us with the hate mail! [CLICKS MOUSE.]
"You two are dead.
" - Don't worry.
It's spelled D-E-D.
- It still sounds like a threat.
- "Danny, you've lost all my respect.
" - That one's from Bruce.
Well, I never had his respect, so, don't care.
Next one! "I'm a tenant and I'll be wrecking things on purpose "and calling you to fix them between 2 a.
m.
and 4 a.
m.
" OK, that actually would suck if they follow through with that one.
[PHONE RINGS.]
Hello.
McCallum Real Estate.
Emma's desk and Emma speaking.
Hi, Jenny.
Uh, one sec.
JENNY: Just wondering what the owner said.
Did they accept the offer? - W-well, um - Can I crack the bubbles? Hi, Aunty Jenny.
It's Daniel here.
Uh, we are still chasing the owner.
He is out.
Oh.
OK.
[CALLS OUT.]
Not yet, Henry.
I'll have another shiraz.
OK, so, we will, um No.
You're driving, I'm celebrating.
Sorry.
OK.
Well, I'll call back soon.
Bye! - No, no, we'll call you.
- [HANGS UP.]
Uh Let's talk to Olive.
She got everyone mad at us.
Maybe we take her a present? - [HORN BLARES.]
- Traitors! Do you reckon they bought eggs just to throw at us? Or did they buy eggs for eating but just decided to throw one? Well, they only threw one, so I guess they're mostly for eating.
- Either way, it's a waste of food.
- I agree.
They should throw eggs at starving children.
- We should go.
- Yeah.
FRANK: Doesn't matter what she cooks, Mum puts cinnamon in everything.
- Her lasagne tastes like a doughnut.
- Can I have the recipe? Hi.
Take a seat.
Is this where you have the Neighbourhood Watch meetings? It is.
What do you talk about? Suspicious characters? Yeah, like if someone buys a ski mask but doesn't ski? What happens in the meetings is for Neighbourhood Watch members only.
Well, that is what we came to talk to you about.
Um, if you stop the town hating us, we are willing to join.
Pfft! Joining the Watch is a genuine commitment, not a bargaining chip.
You're not Watch material.
Have you met Lionel, who's selling the land? He's a lovely old man who just wants to see a quokka before he dies.
What's a quokka? - ALL: Aww! - It looks so happy! I know! Now do you see? We spent over a year lobbying for that park.
It would have been a huge win for the Neighbourhood Watch, and the town.
We were going to get a plaque with our name on it.
Well, there must be some way we can make it up to you.
- Give us our park back.
- Other than that.
Oh, my God.
I've got an idea.
What is it? OK.
Are you ready? It's really good.
Spit it out.
- Have I got your full attention? - Em, just tell us.
OK, you need to relax and enjoy the anticipation of my great idea.
Well, I don't know if it's great yet.
It might not be worth anticipating.
What if it is? You get one chance to hear it for the first time! - Just say it! - Oh, for God's sake! OK! Hold on, what was it again? [ALL GROAN.]
Nope, got it.
Hi, everyone.
Big thanks for coming.
Um, Daniel and I have had an idea that we think is a win for everyone, and if you don't agree, you can keep abusing us as much as you like.
- Don't say that.
- WOMAN: We will! We think everyone should chip in to save the park.
- Why should we? - We were getting it for free before.
Yes, but now you get more.
You get an opportunity.
Donate and you could have your name forever engraved on a plaque.
- A what? - A plaque in the park.
- A park plaque? - Ooh, that's fun.
Park plaque.
- Park plaque.
That is fun.
- [ALL CHATTER.]
Yes, if you're a business, put in a bit extra and you could have a piece of equipment named after you.
Um, which is a great advertisement.
I know McCallum Real Estate will be keen to put in.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind some swings being named after the office.
And, Dave, you could name the slide after the pub.
I know you serve sliders sometimes.
Hang on, what if I want to name the slide after the bakery? You don't serve sliders.
Shotgun the monkey bars for the op shop.
I just really love monkey bars.
OK, so, are we doing this? [MURMURS OF AGREEMENT.]
- What do we have to do to put in? - Yes, great question.
Olive? The Neighbourhood Watch website will have a donations page.
There's a flat amount of $100 to get on the main plaque.
The park plaque.
- SEVERAL: Park plaque.
- Yes.
And we have five pieces of equipment to name, each one going to the highest bidder.
And there's other fun stuff on there you can choose.
For $50, Daniel will sing you one - '80s power ballad of your choice.
- No, no, that's that's not one.
That's not a thing.
Our client just wants the highest offer.
He is a nice old man.
He just needs the money so he can go and meet some quokkas.
- What's a quokka? - Google it.
Q-U-O-K-K-A.
ALL: Aww! I know.
So, we've got until four tomorrow to finalise the sale.
- Four? Why? - Lionel booked his flight to Perth.
- There was a special on.
- When did this happen? Oh, he texted me before, but I didn't want to worry you.
- Oh, God! - OK, right, we'll all meet back at 3:30 to hear the result.
Well, we can just check it online, so I think everyone deserves to hear the result at the same time.
Yes, but if it's a bad result, we'll be surrounded by an angry mob.
Aww! - My phone just loaded.
- [LAUGHTER.]
OK, well, thanks for coming, everyone.
Uh, spread the word.
DAN: I shouldn't have promised that last house a seesaw.
I mean, it'll have one, right? Every park does.
EMMA: Thanks for letting us come on your walk, Olive.
- Patrol.
- Right.
Patrol.
FRANK: What's that?! - False alarm.
- Good to be alert, Frank.
- ANNE: Great instincts.
- Anne, circle back.
Trail us by 50 metres or so.
[KNOCK AT DOOR.]
- Oh, hello! - Evening, Duncan.
Haven't seen anything suspicious tonight.
Saw some pretty ordinary answers on Family Feud, but there's not much we can do about that.
- No.
- Who's this guy? - New recruit? - No! - Oh, uh, Daniel McCallum.
- From the real estate?! - Yes.
- I'm boycotting you! - Aren't I, Olive? - You can hear him out.
Um, thank you.
Uh, we were wondering if you might like to put in some money to get back Rosehaven's park.
And get your name on a plaque that'll be displayed forever.
A park plaque.
- A park plaque? - Yes.
It's very easy to donate.
You just get on the Neighbourhood Watch's website I haven't got the internet.
OK.
Uh, well, you can use my phone.
Ooh, I don't want to put my private details on your phone.
Yeah, fair enough.
Uh, alright, well, have a think.
You've got until 4pm tomorrow to change your mind and to get the internet.
Right.
I'll put it on Olive's phone.
Good on you.
Oh.
Rhododendron's coming along nicely.
Yes.
Yes, thanks, Olive.
They do look nice.
Thank you.
- [PHONE CHIMES.]
- Hey! Phone on silent, please.
- DAN: Sorry.
- EMMA: What is it? It's Grace.
She's gonna stay at her friend's tonight.
Oh.
That's a big deal, isn't it? Not necessarily.
Does she do that often? Never.
I shouldn't have said anything.
You two seem to be doing a lot of chatting for a patrol.
Give us a break, Frank.
It's his girlfriend.
I should have been there when she got home.
You're not avoiding her.
You didn't plan this.
Maybe I should call her? No personal calls.
God, Frank's a dick.
And balls.
Have we got enough yet? Still under 130.
What else can we do? We've hassled everyone.
Refresh it.
Still no.
And I've got three missed calls from Aunty Jenny.
Ha! Beat you.
I've got four.
So? What's the verdict? Uh, we're close, but it's not enough.
Well, how much more do we need? I can't say.
- [ALL PROTEST.]
- I'm sorry! Give us a clue.
- It's unethical.
- Pfft! Has anyone not put in? Who doesn't want their name up in copper? Or tin? Well, I don't know.
It's my first plaque.
- It's 3:45.
- What?! I mean, that's heaps of time.
I mean, it's not heaps Uh, I am just going to go stand near the exit.
Better reception for the tally.
More updates very soon.
Hey.
Can we talk outside for a minute? Um sure.
Is, uh is here far enough? Yep.
How's things? With me or the pub? - Both? - Oh.
We're close, but I don't know if we'll raise enough.
As far as me goes I'm still trying to sort things out.
I've been thinking since we talked.
I'm not unhappy.
I do feel like we're kind of drifting, not swimming.
Not that we're headed to a waterfall or anything, but just maybe separate ponds.
Well, what if we spend some time separate? What, like take a break? Well, if we both don't feel like it's working at the moment, maybe some time apart will help give us some perspective? I don't know.
I don't know either.
Uh But if neither of us know whether we should go or stay, we should go, right? I could move out for a bit.
Sarah has a spare room.
I can stay with her.
Emma's at the house, so it just makes the most sense.
Can we still talk? Yes.
I mean, I hope so.
Daniel! Hi.
Why aren't you answering your phone? Um, good question.
Mrs.
Marsh told me you were here.
- I can explain.
- Where's Barbara? I-inside, but - I'm so sorry.
- It's OK.
Go.
Jen.
So, you never wanted me back in Rosehaven.
When did I say that? Well, you're certainly going to a lot of trouble to stop me buying the land.
Mrs.
Marsh told me about your little plan.
Jenny, it's not about you.
The town hates us.
They wanted a park.
Em and I set this up, not Mum.
It doesn't matter anyway.
We're out of time.
We didn't get enough.
$132,000.
- That's enough! - Is it? I thought it had to be $140,000.
Doesn't it have to be 140? - No.
- Why would I think that? Man, I am not good with numbers.
So, we did it? It was Grace.
She wants a sign in the park with various callisthenic exercises.
She put in five grand! [CAR DRIVES OFF.]
What happened? Grace had already gone.
She's gonna move out.
Oh, mate! Are you OK? What do you need? Is she OK? What happened? Should I stop asking you questions? 'Cause I can.
- Should I do that? - We're OK.
Do you want to go? I can probably handle this.
- No, it's it's fine.
- Oh, thank God.
Does everyone know we got enough? No, I was waiting for you.
Olive's getting pretty restless.
Um [SOFTLY.]
Psst! Olive! Both of you! Please don't psst me! We've got enough.
If you both sign this, it'll make it official.
Hmm? Let's tell everyone the good news.
Olive, you and the Neighbourhood Watch did most of the campaigning.
- I think it should be you - Everyone! I would like to announce we're getting our park! [ALL CHEER.]
PHIL: You beauty! [ROCK MUSIC PLAYS IN PUB.]
You must be pleased.
You got more money and you don't have to put up with me.
- I'm happy to put up with you.
- [SCOFFS.]
Really? If you want to invest in Rosehaven, I'll help.
We'll find you a property and I'll manage it with you.
Then we'd have to talk to each other.
We can email.
Do you want me to kick you in the balls? No.
And the answer's always no to that one.
Do you want a hug? On the house.
That has never happened to me before.
Hug me again.
Let's see if we can get more.
You know, maybe I don't need to get my own place, like, straightaway.
If it works for you.
And look at this.
Hey.
Hey! I've just been thinking.
Seeing as we all put in and paid for it, does it have to be a park? What? I mean, before, it was fine that it's a park, but now we're all invested, it could be a community brewing facility.
It's going to be a park.
- DAVE: How about a car park? - A car park! It could rustle up a bit more business for the pub.
- Or a car wash! - MIKAYLA: Dry-cleaners.
GEZ: Skate park.
One for people over 30 who still enjoy it but don't want teenagers hogging the ramp.
[ALL ARGUE.]
- We should get this to Lionel.
- Good idea.
FRANK: How about how about a fast-food restaurant? PHIL: Opera house! [TELEVISION PLAYS SOFTLY.]
- Hey? - Mmm? If we're both still single when we're 60 Yeah? Murder-suicide? I know what'll cheer you up.
- It just looks so happy! [SOBS.]
- I know! BOTH: Aww!