See Dad Run (2012) s03e08 Episode Script

(Hammer pounds) Pound, pound, pound.
Every morning.
Bob next door, showing off again.
"Hey, neighbor, I just built a new planter.
Hey, neighbor, I just built me a new deck.
" Yeah, we get it, Bob! You're handy! - Yeah, Bob! We get it! - Yeah.
Come on, mom.
Dad, your working girls are hitting the streets, off to make money.
Whoo! Can you rephrase that, please? Remember? Mom got me a part-time job in the wardrobe department at the soap while I'm on school break.
That's right.
This is great.
You know why? 'Cause Joe and I have been looking for some "dudes-only time," and this will be perfect for us.
Okay.
Ah, good luck with that.
Unless you're a zombie slayer in his video game, he's not gonna know you exist, honey.
Oh, come on.
You know, once I walk into any room, all the attention immediately turns right to me.
Okay, have fun! (Video game gunfire) Hey, buddy.
Back off, you slimy toad.
And keep your hands where I can see 'em.
It's what your mom said to me on our first date.
Oh.
Hey, dad.
I was just kickin' zombie butt in mind build.
Nice.
You mind if I play? We can have a little "dudes' time" right now.
What do you say? - Awesome.
- Cool.
All right, man.
Okay, so - Yeah.
- Those guys are us.
We're humble craftsmen who build shelter for the ulagogs to protect them Ckay, ulagogs, schmulagogs.
Joe, I don't need the back story.
I just want to kill some stuff.
Okay, here we go.
Okay, and (Video game gunfire) - Ooh.
- Yeah, there he goes.
There he goes.
Wait a minute, what happened? - You're dead.
- What? What do you mean I'm dead? I just I just started playing.
That's okay.
Just re-spawn, re-spawn! "X," "x," triangle, circle! Why are you shouting shapes at me, Joe? Oh, wait, I'm alive again! (Video game gunfire) (Video game character groans) - And you're dead.
- Oh.
They're eating me.
Yeah.
What do you say we put down this video game and go outside and do something? You want to do that? Sounds great.
Hey, Bob's building a cool tree house outside.
Well, of course Bob is.
Yes, yes.
'Cause he's "Bob the builder.
" What am I saying? You don't build stuff.
I don't build stuff? Excuse me.
I think I have a thousand-piece tool set in here that tells me that I can build plenty of stuff.
All right? Look at that.
Dad, you never opened it.
Of course not.
It keeps the tools fresh.
Well, what do you say we crack this puppy open and start building our tree house, okay? - Really? - Yep.
Absolutely.
Let's crack it open, Joe.
Just crack it open.
Hang on a second.
Let me chew it.
Let me (Grunts) You know what, Joe? Why don't you do me a favor? Go out to the garage, get hedge clippers for me, okay, and hurry back as quick as you can.
Mom told me not to run with scissors.
Joe, I'm talking hedge clippers.
It's a completely different thing.
(Laughs) You've got so much to learn.
Go on, son.
There you go (upbeat music) Bob's tree house is amazing.
What is that, a clock tower? It's like a castle in the sky.
Hey, neighbors.
Yeah, hey, Bob.
You know, it's awfully hot out here, David.
You might want to think about keeping hydrated.
- Lemonade? - Mmm.
Thank you.
So what are you building here? We're building a tree house, too.
(Laughs) Oh, you're serious.
If you need anything, just ask.
You know, you can build anything with the right eight tools.
- Okay.
- Good luck.
(Chuckles) And there goes your ninth tool.
- So, where do we start, dad? - Huh? Oh, where do we start? Okay, well, Joe, a true artist feels the wood and the wood tells him what it wants to be, okay? So here we go.
So this piece of wood is telling me that it wants to be a Splinter! Ugh! Okay.
Yeah.
What's the wood say I get to do, daddy? Okay, well, let's see what this piece of wood wants.
Yeah, uh Uh-huh.
Yeah, well oh, this one says that you get to decorate the inside.
Yay! I'll go get my crayons.
There you go.
David, don't worry.
I'll make sure she doesn't cross the girly line.
You just got to let me know what color palette you were thinking for the decorative throw pillows.
- Yeah.
- Huh? All right, Kevin, you just pole-vaulted over the girly line, okay? So just go and do your thing.
Oh, please.
- Hey, hey, hey! - Hey! Oh, hey.
Hey.
Notice anything different about me? - You've completely given up? - (Chuckles) My wife and kid are gone for the week.
I'm gonna have "Marcus time"! Yes! I plan stay in my robe, watch my movies, and eat my food.
All right, then what are you doing here? I gotta borrow your movies and borrow your food.
Just take whatever you want from the kitchen.
Look, I'm building a tree house for Joe.
It's gonna be awesome.
(Laughs) And you know it.
Are you crazy? - What? - You don't know the first thing about building a tree house.
Am I not the man who built a tree house overnight with nothing but Popsicle sticks and gumption? That was on the show, David.
Yeah, yeah.
Even then you were clueless.
We asked you to grab a Phillips-head, and you grabbed Phillip's head.
The man was our network executive.
- Well, hey.
Good luck to you.
- Thank you.
Okay.
Hey, is that Bob's lemonade? Oh.
Ooh.
I can smell the aroma of fresh lemons.
Mmm.
Just the right amount of sweet And tart.
Wow.
- Okay, just take it and go.
- Can I take it? Yeah, take it, take it all actually if you want.
Well, good luck.
Build everything.
Hey, dad, I've got some great ideas for the floor.
Yeah whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on a second there, Joe.
Hang on there, son.
Come on.
Just watch and learn, okay? Here we go.
Okay.
Ooh, oh.
It's a defective nail.
- Can I try? - Just try no.
Hang on a second.
Let's give this another whack, okay? Here we go.
All right.
Oh, vanna white.
Come on.
Maybe if you let me try, I can get it.
You know, Joe, hang on a second.
You know, I I see what the problem is.
Somebody opened this box of nails.
(Sniffs) They're not fresh, Joe.
This is not gonna work, man.
No, Fiona, your character does not have a costume change in the funeral scene.
Because you're the one in the coffin.
(Headset beeps) Doesn't anybody read the scripts? Oh.
(Laughs) Kat, this is my beautiful daughter Emily.
Emily, this is Kat, the wardrobe supervisor.
- Cool name.
- Thank you.
Cool outfit.
Cool job.
I want to be you.
Aw.
She is so sweet.
(Laughs) We'll break her of that.
Good luck, sweetie! Now, why don't you start being me by steaming this dress? Oh, I only get to steam one dress? Oh! You are as cute as a bucket full of kittens, kitten.
It's not just one dress.
(Harp music) (Gasps) Wow.
(Plays harp) Musicians are one stage over, precious.
Okay, Kat, I'll just leave your iced coffee in here.
Hey, Bolt.
Oh! Both: Aw, come on! (Hammering) And that's how it's done.
I knew it would be lucky hammer number 12.
You were right, dad.
Hammers 1 through 11 weren't worthy of the name "hammer.
" (Electric saw whirring) Whoa, I think Bob's putting in a sliding door.
How do you do that, Bob? Come on over.
I'll show you.
(Chuckles) Uh, David? You might want to try wiggling that nail instead of pulling.
Yeah, I think I know how to take a nail out of a board, Bob.
Let's go check it out, dad.
Maybe he can give us a few pointers.
No, I'm good, Joe.
You go.
Just hurry back, son.
Okay? 'Cause I'm gonna need you.
Really? I get to do something? Yeah, somebody's gotta throw away these faulty hammers.
That's what I thought.
It's not coming out! What are we gonna do? (Director over pa) All right, listen up.
Both: She did it! All musicians, please report to stage 19.
I can't take the fall for this.
This is my first job.
Mine, too.
What you don't understand is this dress actually belongs to Dr.
Sarah desario My mother.
(Plays dramatic music) You don't understand.
The director, who got me this job, and who once fired his identical twin brother because he didn't like the way he looked, is My father.
(Plays dramatic music) Both: Stage 19.
If my dad ever finds out about this, I'm dead.
Dead, I tell you! Dead! My mother's wearing this very dress tomorrow! Tomorrow, I tell you! Tomorrow! Oh, I don't believe this.
Oh, hey, Kat.
We were just No, Bolt, you can't be shirtless in that scene.
Because in that scene, you're modeling a shirt! Oh, these lazy actors.
They never read the scripts ahead of time.
They only read what's on the teleprompter.
I just got an idea.
Oh, hey, Bolt.
We're just (overlapping babbling) (Both giggling) And I believe, Kevin, that the colors should be purple and pink.
A tree house calls for nature's colors your Greens, your oranges, your browns.
Brown? You did not just pitch me brown! Fi I'm I'm willing to compromise.
On what? Orange? I can't even look at you right now.
Uh, uh - Just lean on it a little bit.
- Okay.
How long do you need me to hold this board? Just till Joe comes back.
He went over to Bob's an hour ago.
Great.
Odds are Joe will be back before you finish cutting this board.
A second story, Bob? That's so cool.
Did you hear what Joe just said? He just said that Bob was so cool.
No, actually, he said the second story was cool.
Dad, you have to come over and see all the stuff Bob has shown me.
Did you hear that? He just said Bob has shown him more than I ever have.
While that's probably true, that's not what he said.
Dad, Bob taught me how to frame a window.
I can't wait to show you.
I know you heard that.
He just said Bob's the best teacher in the world and I know nothing.
Still not what he said.
You know what, Bob has built a wall between me and my son, and I am gonna tear it down.
You want to know how I'm gonna do it? No, but since you have that saw in your hand, I'm gonna pretend like I do.
We are gonna build the best father-son tree house Joe has ever seen.
You know why, Marcus? 'Cause this is America.
This country was built by the blood, sweat, and tears of fathers and sons and their fathers and sons before them.
And Joe and I, we're gonna follow in that proud tradition.
So who you calling? Gonna call the construction crew from the show.
They're gonna come out here and build it.
Very impressive, David.
Huh? (Laughs) Went inside for my afternoon bath and came out to the best darn tree house in the neighborhood, Bob! Hey, thanks, Chet, Greg, uh, dude, pal, other guy I used to think was Greg.
Uh, okay.
Dad, where did this come from? America, son.
America.
Who built this with you? Does it matter, Joe? Come on, you wanted a father-son tree house.
This is an exact replica of the one on my show.
Let's check it out.
Come on.
Uh, David, did you say exact? I said, exact.
Marcus, come on.
I bet you the inside is better than the outside.
David, the one on the show Oh! (Thud) Didn't have a floor.
A heads-up would've been nice.
Oy, I've never seen Joe this mad at me before.
I'm not quite sure why, but I'm pretty sure that it's Bob's fault.
Me, too.
Thank you, sweetheart.
David, have you ever felt like someone's getting more attention than you? No.
Maybe you're just feeling a little left out because Joe and Bob were building together.
Well, maybe.
And what happened? I wanted Joe to have a better tree house than Bob's, so I asked my crew to come out here and build us a father-son tree house.
And who was missing from that equation? The fa Sound it out, daddy.
Yes, I will.
The father.
And bring it home, David.
And the son.
- Yay! - Okay.
It was supposed to be dude time.
He just wanted to build it with you together.
Oh, man.
I gotta go talk to Joe.
But can I still make this Bob's fault? - No, I don't see how you can.
- Really? Watch me.
If Bob hadn't moved in next door, he wouldn't have built that mutant tree house, and I wouldn't be in this situation.
Ergo, it's Bob's fault.
- He's good.
- That's right, come on.
Let's stomp out of here together for maximum effect.
Let's go.
(Both stomping) All right.
Okay.
Hey, buddy.
Hey.
Listen, Joe, I'm sorry about the I'm sorry about the whole crew thing back there.
And I just want to make this right, so what do you say we go out there right now, and we'll tear that thing down and we'll start over from scratch, okay? Come on, let's do it.
(Claps) Me and you, together, breaking stuff, father and son.
It's okay.
A tree house was a dumb idea anyway.
Okay, well Yeah, I get it.
No, I get it.
You want me to start, and you want to you want to join in when you're ready.
That's cool.
I'm good with that.
Okay.
Thanks, Bob! The peacock has landed.
What? I loaded the teleprompter with the script changes we wrote.
Let's just hope these actors are as lazy as Kat says they are.
Emily, sweetie, why am I wearing a stained dress? It's in the new script changes, mom.
Haven't you read them? Uh-huh.
Yeah, of course.
Of course.
And don't forget to hold this in front of the stain like the script says.
Right.
Right.
Okay, folks, apparently there are some new pages.
We're running behind, so let's just shoot one.
- And - (Blubbers lips) Ha! Ma! Action! 'Sup, Santiago? Thank you for your awesome gift of this feathered fan.
It is made of the finest peacock feathers from my village.
We're super famous for our peacocks.
How 'bout a nice soy vanilla latte, no sugar added Which is also from my village.
You're so majorly proud of your village.
I'd be cray-cray to say no.
Please, relax your tired ankles from those 5-inch heels, which, by the way, are adorbs.
The colonel was like, "those are wack.
" And I was like, "you are straight trippin'.
" Whoopsie daisies.
(Director over loudspeaker) Uh Cut.
Well, we've done worse.
Moving on.
Nobody's said a word.
I think we got away with it.
We get to keep our jobs.
I'm sorry, Kat, but that script was a new low.
Amy, you can't just quit the soap.
You heard the dialogue.
They clearly want a younger actress.
I'm getting out while I still have a shred of dignity.
(Both scream) Well, if you quit, I quit.
That makes you, me, and the director.
- (Gasps) - Okay, hi.
Who would've thought the final scene of my career would be written by My daughter? And the girl who brings me my coffee.
Emily, why didn't you come to me? I have five backup dresses for every scene your mother is in.
I get a lot of stuff thrown at me.
Mom, I'm so sorry.
Kat, please don't fire me.
Oh, pumpkin.
I could never fire you.
I really need my coffee.
Plus, I have yet to learn your actual name.
Back to work, girls.
(Both sigh) I should probably apologize to my dad too.
I'll come with you.
You'd do that? Absolutely.
I can cry on cue.
That's amazing.
Teach me.
Okay, first you have to quiver your lower lip.
Mm-hmm.
(Clatter) Ow! (Door closes) I see your father managed to get that fancy tree house down, huh? - Yep.
- Hmm.
You think he'll get a new one up? Nope.
Yet he's still out there.
Why do you think that is? I don't know.
Maybe he's just unwilling to give up on something.
Or someone.
Need some help, dad? Yeah, I'd like that.
You know, if we take these 2x4s and frame out a wall 16 on center, it could be load-bearing.
- Bob? - Yeah.
Joe, I'm gonna let you in on a little secret that might be a complete shock to you.
I have no idea what I'm doing.
Yeah, trying to chew open your own tool kit was kind of a giveaway.
Oh.
(Chuckles) Have a seat for a sec.
I-I want to tell you something.
You know, when I was a kid, my father used to take me fishing a lot.
And he was a horrible fisherman.
We would sit in that little boat for hours, and he would always try to show me tricks how to catch fish that never worked.
Like, the only thing he ever hooked was his finger.
And one time my eyelid.
But I always remember the time that we spent together, me and my dad.
It was amazing, you know.
And somehow, I just lost sight of that.
Maybe because you had a hook in your eyelid.
(Chuckles) Very good.
Should we get back to work? (Sighs) It's kind of late.
We might wake up Bob.
Grab a hammer.