The Last Kids on Earth (2019) s03e08 Episode Script

1
[grunting]
[barks, panting]
[grumbles, chomps]
-[munching]
-[whimpers]
-[munching] Mm! Mm!
-[jukebox music playing]
-Num!
-We talked about this.
Two pieces each.
But I'm still hungry!
Here, you can have the crusts, Globby.
All right! [chomps] Wee-hee!
-Huh!
-Huh?
[chomps]
Takin' care of your fellow monsters?
My monster! Ha!
You know it!
-[door creaks]
-[sighs] Okay, Jack.
Amuse 'em or lose 'em.
Hey-hey-hey! Who likes fun?
-Yeah!
-Whoo!
And who likes land?
-Huh?
-Uh, normal amount.
And who likes combining
one thing they love
with another thing
they're kinda confused about?
Good! 'Cause we're goin' to Funland!
[theme music playing]
[roars]
Whoa!
[screams]
[Jack]
Welcome to Funland,
where all your fun-tasies will come true.
[Quint, Dirk, June laugh]
[Jack]
No cares, no worries, and no radios,
like it should be.
So, come to Funland!
All the fun can be yours!
[menacingly]
It will be yours. It will be ours.
Together
Funland.
Yeah, that's great and all, Jack,
except for that last creepy bit.
But there's only one way
to get to Funland. The highway.
[Quint]
Yeah, there are too many zombies
on the highway for BoomKarts.
[Dirk]
And Big Mama can't get past
all the abandoned cars.
[roars]
Ah, sure, sure. Miles of rampaging zombies
and the debris of an ostensibly lost
civilization sounds kinda bad,
but it's an amusement park!
We're kids. Amusement parks
are the best place in the entire
Hang on!
[wings flap]
I thought I heard something. Go ahead.
She's been hearing things all morning.
[groans] Uh, you know what?
I just remembered.
Funland loves radios. That's their slogan.
-[tires squeal]
-Leave the kids, bring the radios.
That's a very strange and
oddly specific slogan for a theme park.
Ah, entertainment people are weird,
what can I say?
The point is we just need a super awesome
Quint way to get us there, right?
Is this not the guy that single-handedly
invented a way to open a cereal box
using 40 dominoes, a paper plane,
and a wind machine?
Ha! Don't forget the damp sponge.
Yeah, it was one of my greater moments.
But I'm sorry,
I'm far too busy to make this a priority.
Oh, right.
-Don't overload Quint with too many tasks.
-[slurps]
The lighthouse lesson.
Wish I could help, friend. [slurps]
Uh, look, I'll handle the whole
how do we get there, thing.
You dudes just prepare your sweet souls
for fun.
Leave the rest to me. I got this.
I totally got this!
Yeah, he's got nothin'.
I got nothin'.
Ugh! Oh! Uh, sorry, big guy.
Didn't see you there.
[grunts]
And yes, I realize how absurd that sounds.
See, I'm trying to figure out a way
to get us to Funland.
Need something as sturdy as Big Mama,
but maneuverable,
able to like move over stuff.
Anyway, see ya.
-Wait a second. I got it!
-[bell dings]
Come on! You gotta see this!
Ta-da! The Biggun-mobile!
-Shopping cart cage to sit in.
-[video game blips]
-Uh, sits on neck, sorta.
-[video game blips]
Straps around shoulders-ish.
Taller and Biggun.
Ta-da?
[groans]
[screams]
Mmm, maybe if we all lend a hand.
[electric saw whirs]
Ta-da! Thanks, guys.
Hm.
Uh
Look, you stupid radio. Maybe Big Al's
wasn't fun enough to make them forget you.
Maybe The Streets Are Lava didn't cut it.
But now you've finally met your match!
Funland!
Don't look at me like that, radio!
-That's it!
-All packed up!
Ready to go!
Let's roll out, Biggun!
-Yeah!
-Whoo-hoo!
-Huzzah!
-Huzzah indeed, buddy!
[Dirk]
Did everyone go before we left?
[zombies snarling]
-[snarling]
-[zombie] Ooh-ah!
[slurps]
[roars]
[grunts, groans]
[June]
Ah!
Mmm.
[gasps]
Guys, look!
[Dirk]
Whoa!
[Jack]
Lady and gentlemen,
prepare to have your fun levels
reach eleven!
I present Funland!
Thanks, Biggun! And Jack,
I'm so glad you came up with this plan,
just so we can have a fun day.
Ha-ha, yup. That's the only reason.
Cue Funland shenanigans!
[electronic music playing]
[all cheering]
[machines humming]
[moans]
[whirring]
Hi-yah!
-Hah!
-Whoa!
-Hah! Yah!
-[squeaking]
[groaning]
Oh, this is not my favorite ride.
-I'm sorry, Hurl
-[June, Quint, Jack] Ah!
[Dirk heaves]
-Oh!
-[groans]
[moaning]
[giggles]
-[wolf howls]
-[ghoul laughs]
-[girl screams]
-[roars]
[all laughing]
[snoring]
Nothing can ruin this day!
[screeches]
[screeches]
[screeching]
[munching]
[screeches]
[laughing]
-[laughing]
-[Jack crunching]
[munching]
These guys, the best of the best.
My plan worked. Perfection.
-I'm happy. Everyone's happy.
-[video game blips]
Nothing could be greater than this moment.
Jack! Come here!
-[radio interference]
-Huh?
-The radio.
-[squeaks]
-The radio! It's the broadcast!
-[squeaks]
-It's working!
-Turn it up!
-[radio interference]
-Just like that, I'm forgotten.
It's all forgotten.
I can barely hear it!
You gotta listen harder!
-Listen harder?
-Shh!
Just the fine-tuning.
Ah. [laughs]
-Jack?
-[laughs] I'm-I'm such an idiot.
I thought this place, this day,
this was gonna be enough.
But oh, no, not for you guys.
You had to pick sides! Ugh!
Wait! What are you talking about?
I'm talking about choosing what's
important. And you didn't choose us.
You didn't chose fun. You chose that!
-[radio interference]
-Jack, listen
No, you listen!
It's never gonna be enough, is it?
No matter what I do,
you're all gonna leave me!
That's not true!
Yeah, it is.
Stupid radio, stupid parents and families.
I'm right here,
and all you can think about
is that radio and
whoever's on the other end!
Whoa-whoa-whoa! Be careful!
All you care about is taking
everything we've built and destroying it.
This is not the beginning
of a better life.
It's the end of the best life I ever had!
This radio is a tool of destruction!
Atomic friendship destruction!
-[Quint, Dirk, June] No!
-Jack, please!
[woman on radio, crackling]
Our next broadcast
will be our final broadcast.
Is anyone there?
[gasps]
[woman]
Our next broadcast
-will be our final broadcast.
-[gasps]
We will try one more time tonight at 10pm.
Our next broadcast
will be our final broadcast.
-[radio static]
-Uh
I'm-I'm sorry.
-[sighs]
-[sighs]
Dude.
Wanna talk about something?
I know. I-I-I-I didn't
Words.
[sighs] Ever since we found that radio,
you guys have been
totally obsessed with it
And it feels like a crazy bad prequel
of what's gonna happen
when we find other people.
Tribal battles for gasoline?
I think he means our families.
If we find other people,
we might find our families.
And then Jack'll be
Alone.
Oh.
Hey, Jack. You'll never be alone, dummy.
I won't?
No! You'll have your video games
and your action figures
and your dinky baseball bat sword and
Gotcha! [chuckles]
You'll always have us, no matter what.
We're a team now,
and always have been, friend.
Like it or not, you're stuck with us.
-Ugh!
-I love you mush heads!
When we do find our parents,
you're just gonna have a bigger family.
Ha-ha. [sighs] Thanks, guys.
Good. 'Cause it's 8:30 right now,
and that broadcast said the next one
is the last one, at 10:00.
But we still can't hear the radio voices
clear at all.
The metal! All this metal
is interfering with the signal!
We've got to get to a higher altitude.
Thunder Coaster!
-[Quint] Of course! The highest spot in
-[wretch screeches]
-Ah!
-[gasps] No!
[screeches]
This cannot be happening!
[screeches]
I destroyed it! It was dead!
I swear, guys, this is impossible!
[screeches]
King Wretch sure doesn't seem dead now,
does it?
It's not just the King Wretch!
It's Rezzoch!
[screeches]
[June, Quint]
Rezzoch?!
The destructor of worlds thing?
[all]
Ah!
-[Dirk] Ugh!
-[clatters]
-[wretch snarls, huffs]
-[stomping]
Jack! You said Rezzoch.
Why did you say Rezzoch?!
Dude! What aren't you telling us?
Uh, well, Rezzoch from the tree,
she's sort of, maybe,
definitely possessing the King Wretch
And also trying to possess me.
[wretch snarling]
Huh? She's in the King Wretch?
And she tried to possess you?!
I know it sounds bananas,
but the King Wretch kept coming after me.
She stuffed my skull
with horrible vision thingies.
And she left me with this!
A mole with a long curly hair
coming out of it?
Gah, no, not my lucky mole!
This mark on my wrist.
[all]
Whoa!
Why didn't you tell us any of this?!
I was scared! And then
I thought it was dead! It was dead!
I killed him! It was a moot point thing.
It was moot!
Well, it's far less moot now!
-[wretch screeches]
-[all gasp]
[exhales]
[snarls]
[screeches]
Look out!
[all]
Aah!
[screeches]
[all panting]
[panting]
[sighs, gasps]
You got any more secrets
you've been keeping from us?!
Um, nope, that's it, I think.
[grumbles]
-[Quint, June panting]
-Oh! I microwaved my underwear once.
Eww! Did they explode?
Not even a little.
[wretch snarls]
[wretch sniffs, snarls]
He's blocking the only way out!
We're trapped!
[radio static]
No! Trapped is not an option!
[sighs] Why should they have to suffer?
He only wants me!
[wretch snarling]
-He only wants me.
-[squeaks]
We just need to distract him long enough
to get to the coaster. Come on!
[sniffing]
Unh!
[snuffling]
-[bell dings]
-[screeches]
-Unh!
-[wretch snorts]
Oh, come on.
Jack.
[bell dings]
Yuh. Unh!
[heart toy]
Bring your radio! Leave the kids!
Huh! That really is their motto.
[screeches]
[screeches, growls]
[screeches]
[heart toy]
Bring the radio! Leave the kids!
[screeches]
[all panting]
[all grunting with effort]
[pants] Wish we had my jetpacks with us.
Wait! You invented jetpacks?
No! But it's next on my list now!
[panting heavily]
Oh!
[growls]
[screeches]
Crud.
[all]
Crud! Crud! Crud!
[screeches]
Must climb faster! Must climb faster!
[screeches]
Ah! Incoming!
Well, if we're gonna go out,
let's go out action hero style!
[screeches]
Smile, you wretched son of a buzzard!
[screeches]
Dude! Right in the eye!
[sighs] Just because I don't wear
my machismo on my sleeve,
doesn't mean I can't get tough!
Now, climb faster.
Heights make my tummy ache.
[groans]
[screeches]
Here he comes! And he does not look happy!
[all]
Aah!
[all]
Aah!
[roars]
[metal creaking]
[screeches]
[sighs] Keep climbing, guys, without me.
-[all] What?!
-No way!
It's me it wants! If I'm with you,
you'll never get to the top.
No, Jack! It's too dangerous!
We don't have any other option right now.
Go! Please!
Thank you, friend.
-You're insane.
-[chuckles] I know.
Ah, as long as you know.
After all this stuff about being
left alone, you're telling us to go?
Right now, the only way for us
to stay together is for you to leave.
Jack?
You're kinda stupid.
You, too.
[wretch screeches]
Now, go! Climb!
Hey, pal. Me and you,
we need to have a chat.
And by chat, I probably mean
a big epic battle.
[screeches]
You're not hurting my friends, Rezzoch!
Not today! Ah!
Biggun!
Whoa! Okay, then. Got a little eager.
-Unh! Unh!
-[screeches]
Yeah, Biggun! Huh! Huh! Ah!
-Oops.
-We gotta go!
[wretch growls]
[screeches]
[roars] Unh! Unh! Unh!
[roaring]
Unh! Unh! Ugh!
[screeches, chomps]
[Biggun growls]
Ugh!
[screeches]
[roars]
[wretch shrieks]
[Biggun growls]
[growls]
[roars]
Ugh! [groans]
Biggun! No!
[screeches]
Keep climbing!
[growls, screeches]
[to self]
Okay. This is it!
[screeches]
What is with this thing?!
-[screeches]
-Ah!
No! Leave them alone!
June! Hold onto
Of course, I'm holding onto the radio!
Ah! Oh, no!
-Aah!
-June!
Aah! Huh gah!
[clangs]
[radio static]
No.
It's okay. If we
[wretch screeches]
[whimpers]
[Jack whistles]
Wow. The finger whistle worked!
Hey, Wretch! Or Rezzoch! Hey, Wretch-och!
[screeches]
Let's ride!
Woo-hoo-hoo!
[chuckles]
At least he knows he's insane.
Nobody messes with my friends' radio
except for me!
Also, this drop is amazing! Woohoo!
Unh! Unh!
[screeches]
[voice vibrating]
Uh!
Unh! Uh-yah! Unh! Unh!
[wretch screeches]
[Jack]
Whoa!
[screeches]
Ah!
That's it! Eyes on me!
[clangs]
Whoa, whoa!
Ah-ha-ha! Yeah! Classic misdirection!
I can't believe he fell for
[straining]
[screeches]
Ha-ha! Abandon ship!
Ugh! Ah!
Ugh! Ah! Oh, no, no, no, no, no!
No!
Jack!
[wretch screeches]
This is not the ending I was hoping for!
[theme music playing]