The Path (2016) s03e08 Episode Script
The Door
1 MAN: Previously on "The Path" The only experience I've had is with one other super-closeted guy at the church.
Is it Arnie Phillips? Tonight I want to introduce the Guardian who will tend this corner of the world, Felicia Pickard.
You should've left him in the ground.
I need you to find your way back.
You have to tell Eddie the truth about Steve.
Sarah has found some old diaries of Steve's, and she thinks you wrote "The Ladder," or part of it.
She claims Steve stole the religion from her, but that's not what made us cut her off.
It was when she hurt her child.
The poor girl is probably scarred for life.
I don't need a secular liaison.
- Are you firing me? - I guess I am.
He loves me.
The answer is to find more JPs, make them my followers, and then take them with me.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC.]
We have grown tenfold in the last eight months.
Expanded into other countries.
Our message has spread digitally all over the world.
And all that sounds great.
And it is! It's an opportunity to do more, to make a bigger impact.
But growth can be a distraction.
It can distract you from the growth that really matters.
The growth within.
You see, that is what I'm afraid is happening here with us right now.
All of us.
So this is what I want you to share with everyone, okay? Our new decree, Refinement.
At the beginning of next week, each and every one of us, all of us, are going to extract something harmful from our lives, and lay it before the light.
I'm not talking about giving up gin in favor of vodka.
I'm asking you to dig deep.
What is in your life that just doesn't need to be? That should not be? It could be a thing, a habit, a relationship.
Look, you are all here because you are the ones that everyone here looks up to, okay? So I need you to get the word out.
Lead by example.
Okay? Dig deep.
Because I am telling you if we do this, The Light will shine so bright that not a soul can deny it.
And all of those who are lost will find their way back home.
Thank you all.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
You definitely made your point.
- In a good way, or - No, in the best way possible.
They weren't just listening to you, they heard you.
Yeah, well, you know, I'm convinced that we need this.
Well, message received.
Seriously.
Bold action will recalibrate, unify our membership.
It felt good, it feels right.
They'll get the message out to the membership.
Yeah, they will.
We will.
I couldn't help notice, um Sarah wasn't wasn't there.
Yeah, um Sarah.
She is on her own personal journey right now.
I don't know why or where, or if it's even personal, but You know, I just don't have time to think about it.
You know? About her.
Look she "The Yellow Birch Inn," this is all she left me in case of emergency with the kids.
[SCOFFS.]
Look if there's anything you need It'll work itself out one way or another, but thank you though.
Hey, what are you guys doing tonight? If you're free, you want to come to my house, have a family dinner with us? Yeah.
Yeah, that'd be great.
- Great.
7:00? - Yeah.
All right.
Hey.
I'll be out of here in just a moment.
Just had a few things of mine to collect.
Look, I'm not trying to rush you, I just I just never got a chance to apologize.
And I wish things could've gone down differently.
Don't be silly, it's, um It's just the business.
It's not meant to be nice.
You are incredible at what you do.
I really don't need a bunch of smoke blown I mean I mean this.
You are a visionary.
You've helped us grow.
You took us to that next level, and, Vera, I'm incredibly grateful for that.
I've just come to realize that your outlook, your entire secular approach is just not a match for us, for Meyerism.
Yeah, I um I think you're right about that.
More than you know.
MARY: Oh my God, you have to see this.
This is amazing.
If it's another video, I don't MARY: No, it's an e-mail from JP, and he says that he owes us a great debt of gratitude for your wisdom and insight.
That's very kind of him.
Yeah, and he says that we should be receiving soon a token of his esteem.
What do you think it is? Whatever it is, we need to be discreet about it.
Eddie's showing me a lot of trust these days, and cultivating my own patrons could threaten that I don't know about Eddie's trust.
He invited us to this dinner.
- It's symbolic, I know - Yeah, dinner at the Lane's.
We've finally arrived.
Maybe they're just looking to fill some chairs.
Vera's gone.
Sarah wasn't around today.
Did you notice that? - "Yellow Birch Inn.
" - Uhhuh.
It's where Sarah is with, well Whoever she is with.
He pretended it didn't bother him, but [CHUCKLING.]
"A bucolic bed and breakfast in the Amish country well-regarded by bird lovers and those looking for a romantic escape.
" Uh-huh.
JACKSON: So this guy that we're driving - to Pennsylvania to find now - SARAH: John Kordjak.
JACKSON: Yeah, him.
You saw his name in one of Lilith's journals? That's all? - I know how it sounds.
- Oh, I don't think you do.
You think I'm on a wild goose chase.
No, I'm not.
I don't.
I'm with you.
I just need a little guidance, like a GPS to the inside of your brain.
I saw his name on the diaries that Steve and Lilith were working on together.
- And it just spoke to me, so - The name? It spoke? See, now it doesn't sound like you're with me.
I am.
I am, I swear.
It resonated, and somehow I feel like he's got the answers that I'm looking for, so I looked him up.
And he works at a hospital nearby, so Oh.
I'll never be right.
What? I'm breathing.
I needed to breathe.
I'm here, aren't I? - Can I get some credit for that? - Yes, I'm glad you're here.
Thank you.
I'm really glad you asked me.
I wasn't sure I'd hear from you.
I mean a trip to France with your ex? That's not the greatest sign.
That was work, all right? That's all.
Thank you.
Come back.
Push forward.
Come back, breathing in.
Push forward.
Now turn to center, keeping your knees bent.
Turn all the way.
- Turn, turn, turn.
- There's John.
And push forward.
[OMINOUS MUSIC.]
Come back.
Push forward.
How did you find me? Well, you didn't make it that difficult.
You're living under your name you had before you joined the Movement.
I wasn't trying to hide, just return to myself.
The individual I lost when I joined the many.
There's someone I want to learn more about.
Someone from the early days of the Movement.
Her name is Lilith.
A patient of Steve's.
You know her.
Anything that you can tell me about her would be very helpful.
These kids They're the poor people of our big, prosperous country.
We ship them off to fight our wars, and they end up here.
Broken.
Forgotten.
I came here to be of service to them.
And every day that I'm here, caring for them, being with them, I know I'm doing good.
Sarah, so much of my life was wasted worshipping someone who turned out to be nothing but a man as mortal and as flawed as any of us.
You really think it was all a waste? Don't ask me to go back to those days, Sarah.
It's too painful! I'm not just here trying to help them, I'm trying to heal myself.
I don't want to open up any old wounds.
I'm sorry.
I can't help you.
I don't know if you heard, but my father passed.
I am so sorry to hear that.
Hank was one of the good ones.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
May his memory be for a blessing.
And give my regards to your mom.
I'm staying nearby.
The Yellow Birch Inn, if you change your mind.
[BLENDER WHIRRING.]
Remy? Hi.
Sorry, it's just, um Didn't know where else to I mean, four years of marriage, you never once missed Vinyasa Flow with Bianca.
What can I do for you, Vera? It's about my mother.
Of course it is.
You can buy me a juice.
She burned you? The scar on my back.
You said you got that from a car accident before you could remember.
That's what she told me.
I know you always thought we had an unhealthy relationship.
[SCOFFS.]
But there's a big difference between unhealthy - and my mother being genuinely - Crazy.
How long has it been since you talked to her? It's not about how long.
So it's only been what? A week? A few days? This is what you do, Vera.
This is why we never really had a marriage.
You vow to cut her out of your life, - and that lasts maybe a month before - Remy.
I can't be a part of the codependent addiction you two have to each other.
It took me a long time to get over you.
Yeah, I'm seeing someone.
- That's great.
- It is.
She's great.
We're not living together or anything, but it's great.
You know, it's easy.
So what? It's an Internet date or something? That doesn't make it any less real.
You have to meet somehow.
That's Oh, okay.
Yes, that's true.
That's true, the city has so many people, you know, to find someone, anyone you can genuinely connect with, that's That feels like a miracle.
So what about you? Do you have someone? I thought maybe, but apparently he doesn't feel the same way about me.
Well, he sounds like an idiot.
[LAUGHING.]
GABY: And blessings to our beloved Hank, whom death has temporarily separated from us.
And for Sarah, as she embarks on a personal journey.
Please illuminate her path.
We pray before and after meals now? We pray whenever we need to pray.
I'll wrap it up.
- No, go ahead, Gabby.
- No, she's right.
The last thing Hank would want is for us to postpone pie time.
[LAUGHTER.]
I'm actually gonna head back into the city tonight.
GABY: Really? Already? Yeah, um The people at the center are having trouble figuring out what they're going to sacrifice for Refinement, so I said I'd help them out.
That's very kind of you.
But don't you think it's best if they come to those decisions on their own? [SCOFFS.]
Yeah, I know, but some of them haven't done this before.
So I said I'd guide them a bit.
- JOY: I did too.
- What? I said I'd help some people out too.
Well, you kids are so giving.
It's true.
Okay, well, drive safe.
Have a good talk.
- Sure.
- Pie time! Yeah! Pie is the one thing you cannot make me give up for Refinement, Eddie, okay? How often are you gonna come up with these new decrees, by the way? GABY: Oh, Russel, not now.
I'm tired.
Every month? Every week? Russel.
- The decrees help us.
- It's true.
The Movement needed a reset, and this is how we're doing it.
And Sarah? Is this how she's doing that? How she's resetting? Running around like she doesn't have a daughter to raise? I don't know what you've heard, but the Novices are talking.
The rumor is she disagrees with the way you're running things.
You know what? Why don't you focus on your own work, Russel? As far as I can tell, you have plenty of it.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
Eddie, would you like some pie? I know Cal does.
That would be great, Mary.
Thank you.
No, it's not your imagination All this ain't no hallucination Not a dream or an illusion, see Like Buff Monster or Alex Pardee I'm the vision that you want to be That's why all you all bitches so into me Hands up for your favorite freak Hey, guys.
Sorry I'm late.
My dad was like all over me tonight.
I feel like he can, like, sense something, you know? I had to make up this crazy story about helping some girl out with her Bible study.
Well, hopefully you're a better liar than Hawk.
- I was not lying.
- Oh, please.
Even Grandma saw right through you.
Like a wet T-shirt.
That's a terrible reference.
I was just creatively reinterpreting the whole Refinement thing.
If my mom can take a personal journey Hey, you don't have to convince me, okay? - This is heaven! - Thanks, guys I found it, and I never want to leave.
But I do have to pee.
Whoa, slow down, girl! We don't do lines outside the bathrooms here.
We do lines inside the bathrooms.
Right? You into this? I'm open.
It's an experience.
Yeah, that it is.
I'm just happy we don't have to be up closer, though.
And what is your name, sir? Hmm? Won't tell me? Okay.
You know, you are just my type! Closeted! [LAUGHTER.]
- Is that - Yeah, yeah, that's Arnie.
Wait, here's the move.
We just Yeah, what does that mean? You know what it means, just play it cool.
Aww.
Hello there, young men! Enjoying a little cultural scenery? You know, when you're in the city, why not take in the more colorful sights? - Well, pray for them.
- Yeah, don't pray for me.
Excuse me? We're here for the same reason you are.
It's just that we're together.
I'm kidding.
Believe me.
[LAUGHTER.]
Um I'm so sorry.
I just wasn't gonna stand here and pretend like I didn't know how he treated you.
No, I appreciated it, like a lot.
It's very heroic of you.
Russel is a ticking bomb.
It's hard to blame him.
Russel's been passed over, cheated on.
Well, now I know why Eddie invited us.
He didn't want to be alone with all that dysfunction.
I choose to think he's interested in getting closer to us as a family.
Excuse me, Mr.
Roberts? "A token of my esteem.
Yours in Light, Jean-Paul.
" - What am I signing for? - Oh.
[UPBEAT MUSIC.]
[LAUGHTER.]
Oh, my God.
[ENGINE REVVING.]
We deserve this, don't you think? I do.
I'm not sure that anyone else would see it in the same way.
- I mean, it's payment.
- I know.
I'm not sure that anyone else would see it in the same And by anyone else, you mean Eddie.
Yeah, especially during this time of Refinement.
It's not exactly on message.
Eddie could've won over JP, but he was too distracted by his issues with Sarah.
You had the foresight to see what he needed, and you were rewarded for it.
Our plan is working, okay? We're building our clients, making connections, and this car is a sign.
Well, I just wish he'd send a sign that was a little less visible.
Eddie would punish us.
Oh, not if he doesn't find out.
I mean, there must be a garage somewhere out of the way.
We can store it.
This is something for us, okay? Think about how much we do for him.
In fact, let's find out if Sarah is really having a personal journey for him.
[PHONE BEEPING.]
[LINE TRILLING.]
Good afternoon, Yellow Birch Inn.
This is Liz.
How can I help you today? Hi, Liz.
My name is Nicole, and I was wondering if you could help me on a secret mission.
My sister Sarah Lane is staying with you at the Inn, I believe.
Oh, I'm really not supposed to disclose the names of our guests.
Yeah, it's just that her and her fiancé, they just got engaged, and I wanted to send them a secret gift.
Will you let me know if they checked in already? Well, I shouldn't, but yes, they have.
Thank you so much.
And remember, not a word! Does feel good, doesn't it? [ENGINE REVVING.]
I was doing some research, and it turns out that there are some really interesting restaurants in the area.
One of them even grows its own produce.
- It's about an hour from here.
- Sorry? I was talking about lunch, you know? Leaving this place for sustenance of some kind.
- You've got to be hungry by now.
- Not really.
I'm gonna stay here, if you don't mind.
You go.
You're just gonna sit there and wait? For how long? However long it takes.
Oh, look, I gotta say that I'm feeling What? Used.
You didn't want to spend some time together, you just wanted a chaperone for this wild goose chase.
No, I told you the reason why I wanted to come here.
He didn't talk to you.
He said nothing.
And you're just sitting here waiting! Because he was shocked to see me.
He will come.
- How do you know? - Because I know.
- Oh, well, there it is.
- What? Right there.
Classic, incurable, terminal What? Blind faith.
What? Are you just packing up? Just You know, I got into this thing whatever this is Because I believed that you were ready to leave this belief.
And I have been so patient, Sarah, in letting you go through every step.
- Don't do this.
- You're never gonna leave.
Especially not now.
Not after your father's death.
It's created a vacuum of loss for them to fill with their narratives.
You're just going to replace one blind faith with another.
You just think you have it all figured out, but you don't leave any room for the possibility of I don't know something surprising or mysterious, or maybe not having it make complete sense! No, there's a million things in the world that don't make any sense, that are mysterious.
But you You're just going deeper, and deeper, and deeper, and And I won't get sucked in, Sarah.
I'm sorry.
I have to pursue this.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
[KNOCKING.]
Excuse me? I was knocking there for a minute.
Sorry, I was in pretty deep.
I certainly do apologize for barging in on you like this, disturbing you in the act of prayer.
That's right.
I was told this is where I'd find Eddie Lane.
The man in charge around here.
Yeah.
That's uh that's me.
I didn't expect to see you sitting on the floor.
Yeah, it helps me connect with the Earth.
The center of everything.
How interesting.
In my faith, we aim for the heavens.
What's above us, not below.
But to each his own.
Reverend William Matthews of the Porter Mountain Church.
Folks there call me Pastor Billy.
You're welcome to do the same.
Nice to meet you.
Is there something I can help you with? I certainly hope so.
I'm here to talk to you about my son, Caleb, and your son, Hawk.
Okay.
What about him? I see I'm going to have to be the bearer of bad news.
- Did they do something? - In a manner of speaking.
It's been brought to my attention that their friendship is inappropriate.
Now it is my hope that you and I, as men of God, can come together and put a stop to it.
I'm sorry, I'm not following.
How is their friendship inappropriate? I don't want you to think I'm like those crazy folks in Westboro, shouting death to homosexuals.
Wait, did you just say At our church, we love the sinner.
But we cannot condone the sin.
Wait, wait.
Are you saying that our sons are gay together? Look, Hawk isn't gay, okay? He would've told me.
I understand.
It's not easy to accept.
Terrible.
Take your time, and when you're ready, we can discuss what to do.
No, this isn't terrible, it's just Listen, if your son and my son are in a romantic something I'm not saying that they are.
But I wouldn't do a thing about it other than accept him completely.
I'm not gonna love him one bit less.
You think I don't love my son? You think that's what this is? That I don't love him? I love him so much that I will not spend an eternity separated from him.
Not because some hippy boy lured him into a sex trap.
Hey, I don't know who you think that we are, but to be honest, I don't care.
You can think whatever the hell you want about us.
But I cannot change who your son is, and neither can you.
So whatever you came here to ask You don't worry about who he is.
I'll take care of that.
Why don't you focus on your own? You don't even know what he's doing.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
Should we wait for Vera to begin? I don't believe she'll be coming tonight.
Is everything okay? Everything's fine.
Your pulse is racing.
You should sit.
I haven't heard from her since she got back from France.
She won't return my calls.
Well, did you do something to upset her? - It's my fault? - Of course not.
I want you to call her.
What do you want me to say? The truth about my illness.
Maybe she'll listen if it comes from you.
I thought you didn't want to upset her.
I didn't.
But it's time.
Let's go inside and begin.
[STATELY ORCHESTRAL MUSIC.]
I just spoke with Vera.
Unfortunately, she won't be able to join us today.
But she asked me to relay fantastic news.
France was a rousing success.
Felicia Pickard has been named Guardian of the Third Corner.
It's everything you predicted.
It's not long now, is it? The cleansing of the Earth? We're gonna be free of what this world has become.
Yes.
Yes.
[STATELY ORCHESTRAL MUSIC.]
[SIZZLING.]
- Hey.
- Hey.
I'm sorry, I'm just trying to not break the yoke.
You're making breakfast? - I always made breakfast.
- You never made breakfast.
Right.
I knew it was one or the other.
[CHUCKLES.]
You feel guilty.
Is it because I have a girlfriend? No, no, no.
No.
It's because of the other guy.
The one you actually want to be making breakfast for.
Well, it's not just him.
He's part of this whole community and I was I was actually happy there sometimes.
Can you imagine that? Mm.
Not not really.
I've heard of such things, but [PHONE RINGING.]
Is that your mother? [RINGING CONTINUES.]
Is it your mother? - I don't recognize the number.
- It's your mother.
Go ahead, answer it.
You're gonna run back to her eventually.
I'm sorry, I didn't mean it to be Listen, I'm gonna hop in the shower.
It would really help me if you wouldn't be here when I get out.
[PHONE CHIMES.]
Vera, it's Dr.
Costa.
I need to talk to you about your mother's health.
Thank you so much for doing this with me.
I thought we owed it to your grandfather to finish what he started.
Anything new in your life lately going on? Not really, no.
No? What? Nothing you want to talk to me about, or No.
Because you know, I was visited by Reverend Matthews.
What? Caleb's father.
I don't understand, what I'm not mad at you, okay? I just want to talk to you about this.
What did he say? What did he Kid, I am on your side 100%, okay? You need to know that.
Just tell me what he told you! He said that you and his son were in a relationship.
A romantic relationship.
Hey, bud.
Just talk to me.
It's fine.
This is not how I wanted you to find out.
Literally, the last possible way.
Okay, look, it's done, all right? Just tell me what's going on.
Nothing, okay? Nothing's going on.
I'm not different.
I don't feel any different.
I just met someone and they happen to be a guy! Okay, look, I just I wish you would've come to me.
You must've been struggling Yeah, I wasn't really struggling, actually.
Hawk, it kills me that you didn't feel like you could talk to me about this.
As my leader? As the Guardian of the Light, or as my Dad? Hey, I'm your father first and foremost, but I cannot support you unless I know what is going on.
Look, I'm not going to judge you or love you any less.
But you gotta talk to me.
All right, where's Mom? Who's she with? What is she doing? And why is everyone pretending like it's completely normal when it is in fact super fucked up? I wish I knew.
Okay? I really don't, Hawk.
So why did you ask me to help you finish my dead grandfather's tree house when all you wanted to do was grill me about my private life? I wanted to spend some time with you man to man.
Yeah, well, here's my Reflection, all right? My relationship with Caleb is my business.
CAL: We're given only as much pain as we can bear.
We're given only as much pain as we can bear.
Why are we here? 'Cause I'm asking people to Reflect and Refine when I haven't myself.
Why not? What's holding you back? My fear.
What are you afraid of? Losing them.
Who? Who are you losing? [GROANING.]
People.
My followers.
I'm losing them.
The Light.
My son.
Your son.
Good.
My boy.
Why are you losing him? He doesn't trust me anymore.
Fear.
We know the symptoms.
Now let's find the Transgress, the distraction.
[GROANING.]
Vera! - Vera? - Vera.
Vera's a beautiful distraction.
Secular, skilled in the ways of the world.
Is she really the thing? Say it, Eddie! I want to get out of here as much as you! Maybe not as much.
You can only be free if you say it.
Who is it you're holding onto? [GROANING.]
Sarah! Sarah.
Sarah.
Sarah.
- Sarah.
- Yes! Sarah is at the Yellow Birch Inn having a romantic getaway with a man.
A lover.
So what's the real burden, Eddie? What can you bear no more? That I can get hundreds, thousands of people to believe, but not her.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
Anyone joining you this morning? Uh, no.
I thought maybe but, um Time to go, thank you.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
I shouldn't have come.
I should've stayed away.
Please, I'm glad you did.
Do you want to get a cup of coffee inside? I can't stay, but I didn't want to let you go without at least talking to you about the past, about the questions you were asking.
I haven't heard Lilith's name in years.
I thought I'd never hear it again.
But it makes sense that you would bring her back into my consciousness.
She was a gifted woman too.
Full of light and inspiration.
She made great contributions in her early days.
I've read her writings.
I can see that.
But she was also touched by madness.
Broken by trauma and pain that Steve That Steve couldn't heal? That he fed on.
Used.
Assimilated into his system of belief.
And then he sent her away.
Denied her credit, denied her very existence.
All of you knew about it, everyone from the early days.
You, my mother, my father.
My God, how could you knowingly treat her that way? There's no excuse.
But when you're enveloped in faith, you rationalize things.
Little things at first, for the greater good.
The bigger things and bigger until one day the clouds part, and you don't even recognize yourself.
Is this how all religion ends up? Preaching love, and truth, and peace, and You're sitting on buried secrets and lies.
Maybe.
Maybe that's the cost of faith.
Is Lilith alive? Can I contact her? She's alive.
But if you contact her, she might tell you things, Sarah, that make it impossible for you to go back.
I've already given up so much already.
That's a chance I'm willing to take.
You have contact with her.
Do you know where she is? No, I haven't been in contact with her over the years, but I've been aware of her.
She's a veterinarian.
On Riverside and 72nd Street.
I know.
She took to healing animals.
It's an impulse I understand.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
Did you remember the canola oil? Was it on the list? No, but I told you.
If it's not on the list, it doesn't happen.
Stop making me feel like a failure.
Hey, we're on the same team here.
Is this about Eddie? This was gonna be the year that things got better.
Had some responsibility.
Respect.
You know what this is really about? Sarah.
Ever since she decided to go on walkabout, it's like Eddie makes us all suffer.
Sarah sneezes, we all get a cold.
Now this Refinement decree? What are we supposed to give up? I mean, look at us.
What's left? [CAR STEREO BLARING.]
[ENGINE REVVING.]
- What are you giving up? - Nothing.
Dad comes back from France ranting and raving about how everyone's not working hard enough.
Mom's off who knows where? They're enough as it is.
You still haven't heard from him? I'm really sorry, Hawk.
Thanks.
And even though we're divorced, I still relied on him.
I looked to him for my own self-worth.
And from this day forward, I am never speaking to that bastard again! All I ever cared about until right now was likes on Instagram.
But no more.
No more mustard, no more cigarettes.
My body is my body.
[APPLAUSE.]
Wow.
I am so proud of all of you.
Your commitment to finding a deeper connection to your faith is It warms my heart.
You know, as a leader, I can sometimes lose my own way.
I can sometimes lose focus of what is at the core of this for me.
And what that is is all of you.
This beautiful community.
[ENGINE REVVING.]
I have something to sacrifice.
A gift that I'm ashamed to admit I thought might make me happy.
Turns out [GASPING.]
Turns out it was nothing but one gigantic distraction.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
[APPLAUSE.]
- Yeah.
- All right.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
- Whoo.
- Nice.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE.]
I, um I thought about keeping it.
Go, Gaby! Yeah, Grandma! All right! - Whoo! - Yeah! [APPLAUSE.]
It's okay.
You did well.
Thank you for inspiring me.
[GLASS SHATTERING.]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
Dr.
Costa said your tumor was spreading.
I'm taking the medicine.
I'll have the surgery.
It's nothing.
We have more important matters to discuss.
What's more important? Why haven't you called? What happened after France? Did Eddie He rejected you.
It hurts, but it's for the best.
- Just like Remy.
- What? You said the same when Remy left me, when he'd had enough of this, of us, you said it was for the best.
Okay, but what does this have to do with Remy? He was my husband.
He was a detour.
He wasn't your destiny.
I wanted a family.
A life apart from us! I wanted children.
I still want that! And you'll have that.
After The Fire, you will meet someone.
You will raise your children in a better world.
Are you even sick? Of course I am.
I asked you many times about your illness, and you kept telling me that you were fine.
So were you lying then, or are you lying now? If I ever softened the truth, it was only to protect you.
And the scar on my back? Yeah, the one you burned into me.
Was that to protect me too? I was ill.
Those people, they made me ill.
I shouldn't have come It's never your fault, is it? I carry the shame of what I did to you every day.
But I'm glad you know because we can talk about this now.
Like we always do, you and me.
Always.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
Good-bye, Mom.
[DOOR CLOSES.]
Mom.
It's so late! Yeah, I told her she could stay up as long as she went to bed as soon as you got home.
- I missed you.
- I missed you too, pumpkin.
So much.
I'll see you in the morning, okay? Good night, honey.
Thank you for being here.
I know that it was Look, Sarah, don't, okay? - No apologies or excuses - I wasn't apologizing.
I was trying to explain why I had to leave.
All right, well, no more explaining.
There's nothing more to explain.
Look, I just want to I just want to say something, so just let me get it out, let me say it.
Okay.
Look, people have been joining the Movement by the hundreds.
Thousands.
Following me.
They're putting their trust, their faith, their lives in my hands.
And I can I can't focus on what I'm supposed to be doing, because all I'm doing is thinking about you.
- Eddie - No.
You questioning.
One foot in, one foot out.
I'm sorry.
No, I don't want your apologies.
I want you to leave us.
Just make it official.
What you've been doing for months now slowly, slowly just drifting away, just rip it off now.
Just leave the Movement.
No, I won't leave my family.
Ever.
I am not asking you to do that.
What if I'm not ready? I have questions, I do, but this is my life.
Then do it for me.
Please.
I have Reflected, and what I've found, what is holding me back from my Refinement is you.
[SCOFFS.]
Okay.
You're right.
I shouldn't peddle something I think is broken.
Not anymore.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC.]
I want to become a Meyerist.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC.]
You found me.
Stay Ooh No one ever said That you remind me Whoa That you remind me Whoa Sticks and stones
Is it Arnie Phillips? Tonight I want to introduce the Guardian who will tend this corner of the world, Felicia Pickard.
You should've left him in the ground.
I need you to find your way back.
You have to tell Eddie the truth about Steve.
Sarah has found some old diaries of Steve's, and she thinks you wrote "The Ladder," or part of it.
She claims Steve stole the religion from her, but that's not what made us cut her off.
It was when she hurt her child.
The poor girl is probably scarred for life.
I don't need a secular liaison.
- Are you firing me? - I guess I am.
He loves me.
The answer is to find more JPs, make them my followers, and then take them with me.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC.]
We have grown tenfold in the last eight months.
Expanded into other countries.
Our message has spread digitally all over the world.
And all that sounds great.
And it is! It's an opportunity to do more, to make a bigger impact.
But growth can be a distraction.
It can distract you from the growth that really matters.
The growth within.
You see, that is what I'm afraid is happening here with us right now.
All of us.
So this is what I want you to share with everyone, okay? Our new decree, Refinement.
At the beginning of next week, each and every one of us, all of us, are going to extract something harmful from our lives, and lay it before the light.
I'm not talking about giving up gin in favor of vodka.
I'm asking you to dig deep.
What is in your life that just doesn't need to be? That should not be? It could be a thing, a habit, a relationship.
Look, you are all here because you are the ones that everyone here looks up to, okay? So I need you to get the word out.
Lead by example.
Okay? Dig deep.
Because I am telling you if we do this, The Light will shine so bright that not a soul can deny it.
And all of those who are lost will find their way back home.
Thank you all.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
You definitely made your point.
- In a good way, or - No, in the best way possible.
They weren't just listening to you, they heard you.
Yeah, well, you know, I'm convinced that we need this.
Well, message received.
Seriously.
Bold action will recalibrate, unify our membership.
It felt good, it feels right.
They'll get the message out to the membership.
Yeah, they will.
We will.
I couldn't help notice, um Sarah wasn't wasn't there.
Yeah, um Sarah.
She is on her own personal journey right now.
I don't know why or where, or if it's even personal, but You know, I just don't have time to think about it.
You know? About her.
Look she "The Yellow Birch Inn," this is all she left me in case of emergency with the kids.
[SCOFFS.]
Look if there's anything you need It'll work itself out one way or another, but thank you though.
Hey, what are you guys doing tonight? If you're free, you want to come to my house, have a family dinner with us? Yeah.
Yeah, that'd be great.
- Great.
7:00? - Yeah.
All right.
Hey.
I'll be out of here in just a moment.
Just had a few things of mine to collect.
Look, I'm not trying to rush you, I just I just never got a chance to apologize.
And I wish things could've gone down differently.
Don't be silly, it's, um It's just the business.
It's not meant to be nice.
You are incredible at what you do.
I really don't need a bunch of smoke blown I mean I mean this.
You are a visionary.
You've helped us grow.
You took us to that next level, and, Vera, I'm incredibly grateful for that.
I've just come to realize that your outlook, your entire secular approach is just not a match for us, for Meyerism.
Yeah, I um I think you're right about that.
More than you know.
MARY: Oh my God, you have to see this.
This is amazing.
If it's another video, I don't MARY: No, it's an e-mail from JP, and he says that he owes us a great debt of gratitude for your wisdom and insight.
That's very kind of him.
Yeah, and he says that we should be receiving soon a token of his esteem.
What do you think it is? Whatever it is, we need to be discreet about it.
Eddie's showing me a lot of trust these days, and cultivating my own patrons could threaten that I don't know about Eddie's trust.
He invited us to this dinner.
- It's symbolic, I know - Yeah, dinner at the Lane's.
We've finally arrived.
Maybe they're just looking to fill some chairs.
Vera's gone.
Sarah wasn't around today.
Did you notice that? - "Yellow Birch Inn.
" - Uhhuh.
It's where Sarah is with, well Whoever she is with.
He pretended it didn't bother him, but [CHUCKLING.]
"A bucolic bed and breakfast in the Amish country well-regarded by bird lovers and those looking for a romantic escape.
" Uh-huh.
JACKSON: So this guy that we're driving - to Pennsylvania to find now - SARAH: John Kordjak.
JACKSON: Yeah, him.
You saw his name in one of Lilith's journals? That's all? - I know how it sounds.
- Oh, I don't think you do.
You think I'm on a wild goose chase.
No, I'm not.
I don't.
I'm with you.
I just need a little guidance, like a GPS to the inside of your brain.
I saw his name on the diaries that Steve and Lilith were working on together.
- And it just spoke to me, so - The name? It spoke? See, now it doesn't sound like you're with me.
I am.
I am, I swear.
It resonated, and somehow I feel like he's got the answers that I'm looking for, so I looked him up.
And he works at a hospital nearby, so Oh.
I'll never be right.
What? I'm breathing.
I needed to breathe.
I'm here, aren't I? - Can I get some credit for that? - Yes, I'm glad you're here.
Thank you.
I'm really glad you asked me.
I wasn't sure I'd hear from you.
I mean a trip to France with your ex? That's not the greatest sign.
That was work, all right? That's all.
Thank you.
Come back.
Push forward.
Come back, breathing in.
Push forward.
Now turn to center, keeping your knees bent.
Turn all the way.
- Turn, turn, turn.
- There's John.
And push forward.
[OMINOUS MUSIC.]
Come back.
Push forward.
How did you find me? Well, you didn't make it that difficult.
You're living under your name you had before you joined the Movement.
I wasn't trying to hide, just return to myself.
The individual I lost when I joined the many.
There's someone I want to learn more about.
Someone from the early days of the Movement.
Her name is Lilith.
A patient of Steve's.
You know her.
Anything that you can tell me about her would be very helpful.
These kids They're the poor people of our big, prosperous country.
We ship them off to fight our wars, and they end up here.
Broken.
Forgotten.
I came here to be of service to them.
And every day that I'm here, caring for them, being with them, I know I'm doing good.
Sarah, so much of my life was wasted worshipping someone who turned out to be nothing but a man as mortal and as flawed as any of us.
You really think it was all a waste? Don't ask me to go back to those days, Sarah.
It's too painful! I'm not just here trying to help them, I'm trying to heal myself.
I don't want to open up any old wounds.
I'm sorry.
I can't help you.
I don't know if you heard, but my father passed.
I am so sorry to hear that.
Hank was one of the good ones.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
May his memory be for a blessing.
And give my regards to your mom.
I'm staying nearby.
The Yellow Birch Inn, if you change your mind.
[BLENDER WHIRRING.]
Remy? Hi.
Sorry, it's just, um Didn't know where else to I mean, four years of marriage, you never once missed Vinyasa Flow with Bianca.
What can I do for you, Vera? It's about my mother.
Of course it is.
You can buy me a juice.
She burned you? The scar on my back.
You said you got that from a car accident before you could remember.
That's what she told me.
I know you always thought we had an unhealthy relationship.
[SCOFFS.]
But there's a big difference between unhealthy - and my mother being genuinely - Crazy.
How long has it been since you talked to her? It's not about how long.
So it's only been what? A week? A few days? This is what you do, Vera.
This is why we never really had a marriage.
You vow to cut her out of your life, - and that lasts maybe a month before - Remy.
I can't be a part of the codependent addiction you two have to each other.
It took me a long time to get over you.
Yeah, I'm seeing someone.
- That's great.
- It is.
She's great.
We're not living together or anything, but it's great.
You know, it's easy.
So what? It's an Internet date or something? That doesn't make it any less real.
You have to meet somehow.
That's Oh, okay.
Yes, that's true.
That's true, the city has so many people, you know, to find someone, anyone you can genuinely connect with, that's That feels like a miracle.
So what about you? Do you have someone? I thought maybe, but apparently he doesn't feel the same way about me.
Well, he sounds like an idiot.
[LAUGHING.]
GABY: And blessings to our beloved Hank, whom death has temporarily separated from us.
And for Sarah, as she embarks on a personal journey.
Please illuminate her path.
We pray before and after meals now? We pray whenever we need to pray.
I'll wrap it up.
- No, go ahead, Gabby.
- No, she's right.
The last thing Hank would want is for us to postpone pie time.
[LAUGHTER.]
I'm actually gonna head back into the city tonight.
GABY: Really? Already? Yeah, um The people at the center are having trouble figuring out what they're going to sacrifice for Refinement, so I said I'd help them out.
That's very kind of you.
But don't you think it's best if they come to those decisions on their own? [SCOFFS.]
Yeah, I know, but some of them haven't done this before.
So I said I'd guide them a bit.
- JOY: I did too.
- What? I said I'd help some people out too.
Well, you kids are so giving.
It's true.
Okay, well, drive safe.
Have a good talk.
- Sure.
- Pie time! Yeah! Pie is the one thing you cannot make me give up for Refinement, Eddie, okay? How often are you gonna come up with these new decrees, by the way? GABY: Oh, Russel, not now.
I'm tired.
Every month? Every week? Russel.
- The decrees help us.
- It's true.
The Movement needed a reset, and this is how we're doing it.
And Sarah? Is this how she's doing that? How she's resetting? Running around like she doesn't have a daughter to raise? I don't know what you've heard, but the Novices are talking.
The rumor is she disagrees with the way you're running things.
You know what? Why don't you focus on your own work, Russel? As far as I can tell, you have plenty of it.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
Eddie, would you like some pie? I know Cal does.
That would be great, Mary.
Thank you.
No, it's not your imagination All this ain't no hallucination Not a dream or an illusion, see Like Buff Monster or Alex Pardee I'm the vision that you want to be That's why all you all bitches so into me Hands up for your favorite freak Hey, guys.
Sorry I'm late.
My dad was like all over me tonight.
I feel like he can, like, sense something, you know? I had to make up this crazy story about helping some girl out with her Bible study.
Well, hopefully you're a better liar than Hawk.
- I was not lying.
- Oh, please.
Even Grandma saw right through you.
Like a wet T-shirt.
That's a terrible reference.
I was just creatively reinterpreting the whole Refinement thing.
If my mom can take a personal journey Hey, you don't have to convince me, okay? - This is heaven! - Thanks, guys I found it, and I never want to leave.
But I do have to pee.
Whoa, slow down, girl! We don't do lines outside the bathrooms here.
We do lines inside the bathrooms.
Right? You into this? I'm open.
It's an experience.
Yeah, that it is.
I'm just happy we don't have to be up closer, though.
And what is your name, sir? Hmm? Won't tell me? Okay.
You know, you are just my type! Closeted! [LAUGHTER.]
- Is that - Yeah, yeah, that's Arnie.
Wait, here's the move.
We just Yeah, what does that mean? You know what it means, just play it cool.
Aww.
Hello there, young men! Enjoying a little cultural scenery? You know, when you're in the city, why not take in the more colorful sights? - Well, pray for them.
- Yeah, don't pray for me.
Excuse me? We're here for the same reason you are.
It's just that we're together.
I'm kidding.
Believe me.
[LAUGHTER.]
Um I'm so sorry.
I just wasn't gonna stand here and pretend like I didn't know how he treated you.
No, I appreciated it, like a lot.
It's very heroic of you.
Russel is a ticking bomb.
It's hard to blame him.
Russel's been passed over, cheated on.
Well, now I know why Eddie invited us.
He didn't want to be alone with all that dysfunction.
I choose to think he's interested in getting closer to us as a family.
Excuse me, Mr.
Roberts? "A token of my esteem.
Yours in Light, Jean-Paul.
" - What am I signing for? - Oh.
[UPBEAT MUSIC.]
[LAUGHTER.]
Oh, my God.
[ENGINE REVVING.]
We deserve this, don't you think? I do.
I'm not sure that anyone else would see it in the same way.
- I mean, it's payment.
- I know.
I'm not sure that anyone else would see it in the same And by anyone else, you mean Eddie.
Yeah, especially during this time of Refinement.
It's not exactly on message.
Eddie could've won over JP, but he was too distracted by his issues with Sarah.
You had the foresight to see what he needed, and you were rewarded for it.
Our plan is working, okay? We're building our clients, making connections, and this car is a sign.
Well, I just wish he'd send a sign that was a little less visible.
Eddie would punish us.
Oh, not if he doesn't find out.
I mean, there must be a garage somewhere out of the way.
We can store it.
This is something for us, okay? Think about how much we do for him.
In fact, let's find out if Sarah is really having a personal journey for him.
[PHONE BEEPING.]
[LINE TRILLING.]
Good afternoon, Yellow Birch Inn.
This is Liz.
How can I help you today? Hi, Liz.
My name is Nicole, and I was wondering if you could help me on a secret mission.
My sister Sarah Lane is staying with you at the Inn, I believe.
Oh, I'm really not supposed to disclose the names of our guests.
Yeah, it's just that her and her fiancé, they just got engaged, and I wanted to send them a secret gift.
Will you let me know if they checked in already? Well, I shouldn't, but yes, they have.
Thank you so much.
And remember, not a word! Does feel good, doesn't it? [ENGINE REVVING.]
I was doing some research, and it turns out that there are some really interesting restaurants in the area.
One of them even grows its own produce.
- It's about an hour from here.
- Sorry? I was talking about lunch, you know? Leaving this place for sustenance of some kind.
- You've got to be hungry by now.
- Not really.
I'm gonna stay here, if you don't mind.
You go.
You're just gonna sit there and wait? For how long? However long it takes.
Oh, look, I gotta say that I'm feeling What? Used.
You didn't want to spend some time together, you just wanted a chaperone for this wild goose chase.
No, I told you the reason why I wanted to come here.
He didn't talk to you.
He said nothing.
And you're just sitting here waiting! Because he was shocked to see me.
He will come.
- How do you know? - Because I know.
- Oh, well, there it is.
- What? Right there.
Classic, incurable, terminal What? Blind faith.
What? Are you just packing up? Just You know, I got into this thing whatever this is Because I believed that you were ready to leave this belief.
And I have been so patient, Sarah, in letting you go through every step.
- Don't do this.
- You're never gonna leave.
Especially not now.
Not after your father's death.
It's created a vacuum of loss for them to fill with their narratives.
You're just going to replace one blind faith with another.
You just think you have it all figured out, but you don't leave any room for the possibility of I don't know something surprising or mysterious, or maybe not having it make complete sense! No, there's a million things in the world that don't make any sense, that are mysterious.
But you You're just going deeper, and deeper, and deeper, and And I won't get sucked in, Sarah.
I'm sorry.
I have to pursue this.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
[KNOCKING.]
Excuse me? I was knocking there for a minute.
Sorry, I was in pretty deep.
I certainly do apologize for barging in on you like this, disturbing you in the act of prayer.
That's right.
I was told this is where I'd find Eddie Lane.
The man in charge around here.
Yeah.
That's uh that's me.
I didn't expect to see you sitting on the floor.
Yeah, it helps me connect with the Earth.
The center of everything.
How interesting.
In my faith, we aim for the heavens.
What's above us, not below.
But to each his own.
Reverend William Matthews of the Porter Mountain Church.
Folks there call me Pastor Billy.
You're welcome to do the same.
Nice to meet you.
Is there something I can help you with? I certainly hope so.
I'm here to talk to you about my son, Caleb, and your son, Hawk.
Okay.
What about him? I see I'm going to have to be the bearer of bad news.
- Did they do something? - In a manner of speaking.
It's been brought to my attention that their friendship is inappropriate.
Now it is my hope that you and I, as men of God, can come together and put a stop to it.
I'm sorry, I'm not following.
How is their friendship inappropriate? I don't want you to think I'm like those crazy folks in Westboro, shouting death to homosexuals.
Wait, did you just say At our church, we love the sinner.
But we cannot condone the sin.
Wait, wait.
Are you saying that our sons are gay together? Look, Hawk isn't gay, okay? He would've told me.
I understand.
It's not easy to accept.
Terrible.
Take your time, and when you're ready, we can discuss what to do.
No, this isn't terrible, it's just Listen, if your son and my son are in a romantic something I'm not saying that they are.
But I wouldn't do a thing about it other than accept him completely.
I'm not gonna love him one bit less.
You think I don't love my son? You think that's what this is? That I don't love him? I love him so much that I will not spend an eternity separated from him.
Not because some hippy boy lured him into a sex trap.
Hey, I don't know who you think that we are, but to be honest, I don't care.
You can think whatever the hell you want about us.
But I cannot change who your son is, and neither can you.
So whatever you came here to ask You don't worry about who he is.
I'll take care of that.
Why don't you focus on your own? You don't even know what he's doing.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
Should we wait for Vera to begin? I don't believe she'll be coming tonight.
Is everything okay? Everything's fine.
Your pulse is racing.
You should sit.
I haven't heard from her since she got back from France.
She won't return my calls.
Well, did you do something to upset her? - It's my fault? - Of course not.
I want you to call her.
What do you want me to say? The truth about my illness.
Maybe she'll listen if it comes from you.
I thought you didn't want to upset her.
I didn't.
But it's time.
Let's go inside and begin.
[STATELY ORCHESTRAL MUSIC.]
I just spoke with Vera.
Unfortunately, she won't be able to join us today.
But she asked me to relay fantastic news.
France was a rousing success.
Felicia Pickard has been named Guardian of the Third Corner.
It's everything you predicted.
It's not long now, is it? The cleansing of the Earth? We're gonna be free of what this world has become.
Yes.
Yes.
[STATELY ORCHESTRAL MUSIC.]
[SIZZLING.]
- Hey.
- Hey.
I'm sorry, I'm just trying to not break the yoke.
You're making breakfast? - I always made breakfast.
- You never made breakfast.
Right.
I knew it was one or the other.
[CHUCKLES.]
You feel guilty.
Is it because I have a girlfriend? No, no, no.
No.
It's because of the other guy.
The one you actually want to be making breakfast for.
Well, it's not just him.
He's part of this whole community and I was I was actually happy there sometimes.
Can you imagine that? Mm.
Not not really.
I've heard of such things, but [PHONE RINGING.]
Is that your mother? [RINGING CONTINUES.]
Is it your mother? - I don't recognize the number.
- It's your mother.
Go ahead, answer it.
You're gonna run back to her eventually.
I'm sorry, I didn't mean it to be Listen, I'm gonna hop in the shower.
It would really help me if you wouldn't be here when I get out.
[PHONE CHIMES.]
Vera, it's Dr.
Costa.
I need to talk to you about your mother's health.
Thank you so much for doing this with me.
I thought we owed it to your grandfather to finish what he started.
Anything new in your life lately going on? Not really, no.
No? What? Nothing you want to talk to me about, or No.
Because you know, I was visited by Reverend Matthews.
What? Caleb's father.
I don't understand, what I'm not mad at you, okay? I just want to talk to you about this.
What did he say? What did he Kid, I am on your side 100%, okay? You need to know that.
Just tell me what he told you! He said that you and his son were in a relationship.
A romantic relationship.
Hey, bud.
Just talk to me.
It's fine.
This is not how I wanted you to find out.
Literally, the last possible way.
Okay, look, it's done, all right? Just tell me what's going on.
Nothing, okay? Nothing's going on.
I'm not different.
I don't feel any different.
I just met someone and they happen to be a guy! Okay, look, I just I wish you would've come to me.
You must've been struggling Yeah, I wasn't really struggling, actually.
Hawk, it kills me that you didn't feel like you could talk to me about this.
As my leader? As the Guardian of the Light, or as my Dad? Hey, I'm your father first and foremost, but I cannot support you unless I know what is going on.
Look, I'm not going to judge you or love you any less.
But you gotta talk to me.
All right, where's Mom? Who's she with? What is she doing? And why is everyone pretending like it's completely normal when it is in fact super fucked up? I wish I knew.
Okay? I really don't, Hawk.
So why did you ask me to help you finish my dead grandfather's tree house when all you wanted to do was grill me about my private life? I wanted to spend some time with you man to man.
Yeah, well, here's my Reflection, all right? My relationship with Caleb is my business.
CAL: We're given only as much pain as we can bear.
We're given only as much pain as we can bear.
Why are we here? 'Cause I'm asking people to Reflect and Refine when I haven't myself.
Why not? What's holding you back? My fear.
What are you afraid of? Losing them.
Who? Who are you losing? [GROANING.]
People.
My followers.
I'm losing them.
The Light.
My son.
Your son.
Good.
My boy.
Why are you losing him? He doesn't trust me anymore.
Fear.
We know the symptoms.
Now let's find the Transgress, the distraction.
[GROANING.]
Vera! - Vera? - Vera.
Vera's a beautiful distraction.
Secular, skilled in the ways of the world.
Is she really the thing? Say it, Eddie! I want to get out of here as much as you! Maybe not as much.
You can only be free if you say it.
Who is it you're holding onto? [GROANING.]
Sarah! Sarah.
Sarah.
Sarah.
- Sarah.
- Yes! Sarah is at the Yellow Birch Inn having a romantic getaway with a man.
A lover.
So what's the real burden, Eddie? What can you bear no more? That I can get hundreds, thousands of people to believe, but not her.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
Anyone joining you this morning? Uh, no.
I thought maybe but, um Time to go, thank you.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
I shouldn't have come.
I should've stayed away.
Please, I'm glad you did.
Do you want to get a cup of coffee inside? I can't stay, but I didn't want to let you go without at least talking to you about the past, about the questions you were asking.
I haven't heard Lilith's name in years.
I thought I'd never hear it again.
But it makes sense that you would bring her back into my consciousness.
She was a gifted woman too.
Full of light and inspiration.
She made great contributions in her early days.
I've read her writings.
I can see that.
But she was also touched by madness.
Broken by trauma and pain that Steve That Steve couldn't heal? That he fed on.
Used.
Assimilated into his system of belief.
And then he sent her away.
Denied her credit, denied her very existence.
All of you knew about it, everyone from the early days.
You, my mother, my father.
My God, how could you knowingly treat her that way? There's no excuse.
But when you're enveloped in faith, you rationalize things.
Little things at first, for the greater good.
The bigger things and bigger until one day the clouds part, and you don't even recognize yourself.
Is this how all religion ends up? Preaching love, and truth, and peace, and You're sitting on buried secrets and lies.
Maybe.
Maybe that's the cost of faith.
Is Lilith alive? Can I contact her? She's alive.
But if you contact her, she might tell you things, Sarah, that make it impossible for you to go back.
I've already given up so much already.
That's a chance I'm willing to take.
You have contact with her.
Do you know where she is? No, I haven't been in contact with her over the years, but I've been aware of her.
She's a veterinarian.
On Riverside and 72nd Street.
I know.
She took to healing animals.
It's an impulse I understand.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
Did you remember the canola oil? Was it on the list? No, but I told you.
If it's not on the list, it doesn't happen.
Stop making me feel like a failure.
Hey, we're on the same team here.
Is this about Eddie? This was gonna be the year that things got better.
Had some responsibility.
Respect.
You know what this is really about? Sarah.
Ever since she decided to go on walkabout, it's like Eddie makes us all suffer.
Sarah sneezes, we all get a cold.
Now this Refinement decree? What are we supposed to give up? I mean, look at us.
What's left? [CAR STEREO BLARING.]
[ENGINE REVVING.]
- What are you giving up? - Nothing.
Dad comes back from France ranting and raving about how everyone's not working hard enough.
Mom's off who knows where? They're enough as it is.
You still haven't heard from him? I'm really sorry, Hawk.
Thanks.
And even though we're divorced, I still relied on him.
I looked to him for my own self-worth.
And from this day forward, I am never speaking to that bastard again! All I ever cared about until right now was likes on Instagram.
But no more.
No more mustard, no more cigarettes.
My body is my body.
[APPLAUSE.]
Wow.
I am so proud of all of you.
Your commitment to finding a deeper connection to your faith is It warms my heart.
You know, as a leader, I can sometimes lose my own way.
I can sometimes lose focus of what is at the core of this for me.
And what that is is all of you.
This beautiful community.
[ENGINE REVVING.]
I have something to sacrifice.
A gift that I'm ashamed to admit I thought might make me happy.
Turns out [GASPING.]
Turns out it was nothing but one gigantic distraction.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
[APPLAUSE.]
- Yeah.
- All right.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
- Whoo.
- Nice.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE.]
I, um I thought about keeping it.
Go, Gaby! Yeah, Grandma! All right! - Whoo! - Yeah! [APPLAUSE.]
It's okay.
You did well.
Thank you for inspiring me.
[GLASS SHATTERING.]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
Dr.
Costa said your tumor was spreading.
I'm taking the medicine.
I'll have the surgery.
It's nothing.
We have more important matters to discuss.
What's more important? Why haven't you called? What happened after France? Did Eddie He rejected you.
It hurts, but it's for the best.
- Just like Remy.
- What? You said the same when Remy left me, when he'd had enough of this, of us, you said it was for the best.
Okay, but what does this have to do with Remy? He was my husband.
He was a detour.
He wasn't your destiny.
I wanted a family.
A life apart from us! I wanted children.
I still want that! And you'll have that.
After The Fire, you will meet someone.
You will raise your children in a better world.
Are you even sick? Of course I am.
I asked you many times about your illness, and you kept telling me that you were fine.
So were you lying then, or are you lying now? If I ever softened the truth, it was only to protect you.
And the scar on my back? Yeah, the one you burned into me.
Was that to protect me too? I was ill.
Those people, they made me ill.
I shouldn't have come It's never your fault, is it? I carry the shame of what I did to you every day.
But I'm glad you know because we can talk about this now.
Like we always do, you and me.
Always.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
Good-bye, Mom.
[DOOR CLOSES.]
Mom.
It's so late! Yeah, I told her she could stay up as long as she went to bed as soon as you got home.
- I missed you.
- I missed you too, pumpkin.
So much.
I'll see you in the morning, okay? Good night, honey.
Thank you for being here.
I know that it was Look, Sarah, don't, okay? - No apologies or excuses - I wasn't apologizing.
I was trying to explain why I had to leave.
All right, well, no more explaining.
There's nothing more to explain.
Look, I just want to I just want to say something, so just let me get it out, let me say it.
Okay.
Look, people have been joining the Movement by the hundreds.
Thousands.
Following me.
They're putting their trust, their faith, their lives in my hands.
And I can I can't focus on what I'm supposed to be doing, because all I'm doing is thinking about you.
- Eddie - No.
You questioning.
One foot in, one foot out.
I'm sorry.
No, I don't want your apologies.
I want you to leave us.
Just make it official.
What you've been doing for months now slowly, slowly just drifting away, just rip it off now.
Just leave the Movement.
No, I won't leave my family.
Ever.
I am not asking you to do that.
What if I'm not ready? I have questions, I do, but this is my life.
Then do it for me.
Please.
I have Reflected, and what I've found, what is holding me back from my Refinement is you.
[SCOFFS.]
Okay.
You're right.
I shouldn't peddle something I think is broken.
Not anymore.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC.]
I want to become a Meyerist.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC.]
You found me.
Stay Ooh No one ever said That you remind me Whoa That you remind me Whoa Sticks and stones