Ugly Betty s03e08 Episode Script

# This is gonna be a great cover.
"Eye of the Fashion Storm"-- unique.
Hey, Betty, you look like someone who was good at science.
Why do tornadoes always hit shantytowns and trailer parks? Does god just hate poor people? Amanda, I highly doubt that.
But I gotta say, I kind of feel like I'm in the middle of a fashion storm right now.
No.
You look like a plus-size princess.
Dressing you up in clothing from my hefty years is like playing with a big squishy doll.
It's so fun.
Can we do it again tomorrow, please? No, but you know is if the assistants got to go on the editors' retreat, too.
I mean, everyone from Meade out in the woods, sharing ideas, telling anecdotes-- it sounds great.
Great like herpes.
(cell phone ringing) Oh.
Will you hold my bagel? - Sure.
Amanda! (ring) It's for your own good.
Hey, Phil.
It's Betty.
Oh.
Oh, that's too bad.
I guess I'll let Daniel know.
(beep) Daniel, Phil just called.
There's a problem at the printer, so the fashion storm issue won't arrive at the loading dock till noon, which means we have to push your final approval.
Oh, that sucks.
I wanted to ride up to the retreat with Connor.
That was supposed to be the fun car.
Ugh.
Well, here's a thought, just, you know, out of the blue.
What if you go ahead with Connor and let me do the final approval right before the issue goes out? I don't know.
I mean If there's any problems, That's the last chance to catch them.
I don't think you really want that kind of responsibility.
Uh.
Yeah, I do.
Daniel, I've watched you do it, like, a million times, I totally know what to look for, and besides, while you guys are at your retreat, I really want to be helpful.
I guess you are kind of O.
C.
D.
about things, right? I prefer the word "careful.
" (sighs) All right.
You know what? Go for it.
(gasps) Really? - Mm-hmm.
Thank you! Aah! You won't be disappointed.
(elevator bell dings) That's it? - Mm-hmm.
I need your budget right away.
Excuse me.
Sorry, mate.
Hold the lift.
Wilhelmina.
(chuckles) Good morning, Connor.
So are you ready for our little trek into the woods? Ugh.
Absolutely not.
I find these retreats a colossal waste of time.
Oh.
Well, that's an important perspective that we all need to hear.
So you're going, and that's an order.
Uh, an order? Connor, you do realize you work for me? Yes, my queen.
and heavy is the head that wears the crown.
Still it's the price of leadership.
I'll see you there, boss.
Okay, bridezilla, let's discuss your wedding.
Mm, nah.
Let's talk about your hair.
Ooh.
- It's looking a little frizzy today.
(gasps) What? Oh, my god.
Fix it.
- Sit.
I thought the red lip, the updo was the right choice.
Wait.
You're distracting me.
Marc, you proposed to Cliff, Which I have to say, I thought was a little weird considering that you were so freaked out about moving in with him, and now you never want to talk about it.
Ah.
That--that is not true.
Well, every time I bring up the wedding, you change the subject.
Hey, what are we gonna do while the editors are gone? The usual--make the temps kiss each other? That is really fun.
Mm.
- Wait, no.
You're doing it again.
Marc, are you punishing me because I said I don't approve of gay marriage? I only meant that for unattractive gays, and Cliff is really growing on me.
(Wilhelmina) Marc.
Ooh.
Gotta go.
(whispers) Thank God.
Marc! Yes? Aah! Gun! (sighs) It's for the retreat.
Connor's making me go.
He's enraging.
He's so self-confident, he won't listen to a word I say and he's not afraid of me.
- I am.
I'm afraid of you.
Oh, stop your cowering, Marc.
I don't even need a gun with you.
Five good words, and I could make you pee in your pants.
So Connor's really getting under your skin, huh? Is it that obvious? Oh, it's no use, Marc.
He's unavailable.
He has a fiancée, and I'm sure she's 20-something, fabulous, European and thin.
Well, you're all those things, too.
(stammers) Okay, so I will make sure that your room is on the opposite side of the lodge from Connor's.
Good.
Thank God it's hunting season.
If I can't be with the man I want, at least I can kill something.
(forklift engine humming) (forklift beeping) (sniffs) What the (sniffs) Hmm.
You know, the binding adhesive has a really strong smell.
I'm afraid it's gonna overpower the perfume samples.
Oh, jeez.
That would be a disaster, huh? Here's what I'll do-- I'm gonna have my guys rip all these pallets apart, we'll take the magazines back to the printer, then we'll manufacture an odorless adhesive and we'll rebind them.
Now I know it's probably gonna cost a few hundred grand, but I want you to be happy because you have final approval.
Fine.
They can go out as is.
All right, boys, ship 'em.
Oh, hey.
Could you take a picture for me? Fine.
I'll do it myself.
"Eye of the Fashion Storm"-- First "Mode" issue approved by me! (camera shutter clicks) (Daniel) Welcome, everyone, to Meade's annual editors' retreat.
Without further ado, let me turn things over to the newest member of our team-- C.
F.
O.
of Meade publications, Connor Owens.
Thank you, everyone.
I'm thrilled to be joining, but before the fun begins, some sobering facts.
This is not a happy time for the magazine industry.
Fewer readers plus more competition equals far, far less money.
If we can't come up with innovative ways (buttons clicking) to cut costs and increase revenues, Meade may have to take drastic steps.
Some of you may find your magazines shut down.
The next few hours that were scheduled as personal time will now be a walk in the woods, some time with your thoughts.
Bring me bold ideas.
I don't care how silly or far out they may seem to you.
That crazy idea may just be the one that saves your magazine.
Uh, excuse me.
May I offer a crazy suggestion right now? Of course.
Take everyone's phones and P.
D.
A.
s.
What? You really want people to focus? Cut off all distractions.
Great idea.
Well, I don't think so.
- I do.
I mean, going off the grid-- I-I like the way that sounds.
All right, people.
Hand 'em over.
On the table right now.
Oh, Claire, just so you know, I'm going hunting later on today.
Feel free to walk front of my gun.
(Betty) Good news, everybody! The final approval is done.
I was a little worried about the smell, but I think it's gonna be okay.
The issue has shipped! (high-pitched voice) (normal voice) You e-mailed us all a picture.
- I tried to get your mustache (woman) We have breaking news to report.
A tornado is currently cutting a path of destruction through central Kansas.
This is dramatic live footage from the town of Tibsley.
Search and rescue teams are on hold until the tornado threat diminishes That kind of looks like the cover.
Deaths have been reported and countless have been left homeless.
We won't soon forget this iconic image of destruction.
(wind howling) (panting) Phil! Phil.
We can't ship the magazine.
Huge emergency.
Oh, let me guess.
The pages are too glossy.
Well, yes, a little, but no.
There is a huge awful tornado destroying Kansas.
Look.
Tornado on the cover.
Tornado on the TV.
Get it? This is gonna be a huge P.
R.
disaster.
All right, you listen to me.
It was really cute before when you came in with the final approval and then you took the picture remember that? It was very cute.
But the truth is, you have no authority.
(gasps) What? What? Look, they put me in charge here.
I am the point person, so stop shipping the issue.
That's an order? Listen, pointy, the only two people with real authority are Daniel Meade and Wilhelmina Slater, And if I don't hear from either one of them, the issue ships.
Phil, I've been trying to get ahold of them, but I can't get through.
Look, I begged Daniel for this responsibility.
Ugh.
And I promised him that nothing would go wrong.
So please help me.
All right, look.
The only thing I can do for you is I can hold off for four hours, all right? Huh.
And if I don't hear from either one of them by then, The issue goes out.
Sorry.
Okay! Thank you! - Whatever! (woman singing Spanish) (singsong voice) Here it is! (normal voice) The permit from the city for my salon.
Oh.
Okay, "commercial variances are prohibited in residential districts.
" Yeah, but where's my permit? Mija, I think this means your permit is denied.
What? Do you know how hard I work for this? You know whose fault this is? Archie "the rat" Rodriguez.
Mr.
Slick-ass City Councilman comes over here, and he's all like, "you need to apply for your permit legally.
" Look where it's gotten me.
He should be impeached.
Yeah.
- I'm sorry, sweetie.
Oh, man! You should just open the salon anyway.
No, she shouldn't.
It's breaking the law.
What are they gonna do, put undercover hair police across the street to watch our house? Honey, papi's right.
Bye.
We can't risk getting caught.
(both snap fingers) (thinking) Bold ideas.
Bold ideas.
Isn't that what we pay Connor for? Okay, think, Daniel.
Think.
I'm empty.
What if I never have another idea? I wonder what happened to Jenny August from Andover.
She had pretty hair, really good penmanship.
Aah! - Whoa! Oh! (groans) Sorry.
Are you okay? - Yeah.
No, my ankle.
Ahh.
You? Yeah, fine.
Don't worry about me.
Do you think it's broken? - Well, I'm not a doctor, but Really? What? I could be a doctor.
Is it so obvious I'm not? What are the odds I fall out of a tree and hit a doctor? Point taken.
Aren't you a little grown-up to be climbing trees? That's exactly why I was doing it.
People are always saying you're too old to do stuff.
You know what? I agree with you.
He me up.
Let me see if I can bear weight.
Okay.
(grunts) Easy, easy, easy, easy.
Ow! Okay.
All right.
Ow! (leaves rustle) Come to mama.
You're welcome to take the first shot.
Too easy.
Aren't you supposed to be thinking? Oh, this is actually where I get my best ideas.
There's something so primal about it.
Very few things in life make you feel this way.
I could think of a couple.
Yeah, me, too.
Well, should we do this together? (sighs) (cell phone rings) Dani.
Ugh.
Hilda, I can't really talk right now.
I'm trying to get ahold of Daniel, And I'm in the middle of a work crisis.
Me, too.
Listen, where'd you put the hat you bought during your ugly hat phase? My what? I didn't have an ugly hat phase.
Oh, right.
Just your hat phase.
Okay, uh, why do you need this right now? Because I have come up with a way to keep the salon open.
They denied my permit, so i'm opening an underground styling speakeasy.
All cash, entrance in the back.
Okay, I don't really have time to focus on this right now, but it already sounds like a bad idea.
What are you talking about? People love a sense of danger.
- With their haircuts? (gasps) I-I found them.
Thank you.
Never mind.
Bye.
(beep) (sniffs) I smell pluck.
Where are you going? I can't just sit here and do nothing.
Daniel is not answering his cell phone, and the lodge is under strict instructions not let any calls in or out for the next few hours.
Yes, I know.
Wilhelmina managed to get a text off to me before they took away all their cell phones.
Oh.
Well, I'm going up there.
So I raided the petty cash drawer, and I'm taking a cab.
I've underestimated you.
I was thinking this was all out poor, homely Betty worrying about the poor, homely people of Kansas, But no, no, no, no.
This is about your career.
I have no idea what you are talking about.
You think that if you get the news to Daniel, you'll come up smelling like a she-ro.
Ugh.
Marc, I don't care what I smell like.
Mm, right.
I promised Daniel nothing would go wrong, so I don't really have a choice.
- Well, then I'm going with you.
You think I'm just gonna sit here and watch you outshine me? Fine.
Whatever, Marc.
First of all, I'm not taking a cab all the way to Talmadge Hall.
All righty then, Marc.
How do you want to get there, your wings? Cliff's away till tomorrow.
We'll take his car.
Road trip? Shotgun! (man) With new tornadoes touching down all over Kansas, it will be morning until we know the full extent of the damage of this powerful system Oh, god.
Marc, can you please pick up the pace? Easy does-y, fuzzy wuzzy.
You're gonna give yourself worry lines, not that anyone could see them under that canopy of bangs.
(giggles) The issue ships in two hours, and we are still 100 Miles from the lodge.
And constantly with the latest tornado updates is not gonna get us there any faster.
Well, I'm sorry.
You know what? I'm right here.
- I can't just sit back You don't have to scream in my ear.
- and watch my magazine-- Ladies, chillax.
I know how we can pass the time.
Let's talk about Marc's wedding.
- No.
You're getting married? I have a better idea.
Let's talk about Amanda's hair.
Wow.
Still frizzy.
- What? I am not falling for that again.
Marc, I came on this trip to talk about your wedding, and that I what we're gonna do.
- Marc, I can't believe if I was getting married, I would never stop talking about my wedding.
- And we'd all kill ourselves so does that mean there will be two best men? I'm still the Maid of honor - That's offensive.
- 'cause I already bought a fuchsia dress.
I didn't mean it to be.
I'm totally for gay marriage.
It's a really cute-- Okay.
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
Let's just listen to music quietly.
(woman) # amazing Grace # Oh, good.
Christian radio, my favorite.
# how sweet # Watch out for that stuff.
It'll make you itch like crazy.
Oh, I'm immune.
(leaves rustling) Shh.
Sounds like a big one.
Ugh.
False alarm again.
Would it be too much to ask for something with antlers? What is it? It's, uh, Daniel and some cripply wood nymph.
It's your form of rebellion.
That's my fiancée Molly.
That's her? You sound surprised.
Well, it's just that he's wonderfully ordinary.
Why is she limping? All right, it's not much further now.
- Okay.
So you don't work at Meade? No, but I'm here with someone who does.
Oh.
Who? (Connor) Molly.
Well, I see you two finally met.
What have you done? - I twisted my ankle.
It's a long story.
Oh, let me.
Can you grab that, mate? Yeah.
Ooh.
(laughs) Okay.
(laughs) (Betty) We only have an hour and 27-- Oh!--26 minutes left.
We are currently traveling at the speed of 50 Miles an hour, and I think that if we push it at least up to the speed limit, we could give ourselves a cushion.
- Hey, Betty, you know what? Now might be a really good time for some stress eating.
(sighs) I'm sure Cliff is a food stasher.
(groans) Ugh.
(squeals) - What? What? What? What is it? Nothing.
- You squealed.
No, I didn't.
- Yes, you did.
No, I didn't.
- Yes.
You did.
No, I didn't.
- Betty? You kinda did.
Okay, fine.
Do you really want to know? I found a receipt from Tiffany's for two wedding rings.
(Betty gasps) Oh! Oh.
Oh.
(wheezing) Cliff got you a ring! Oh! Oh, that's so cute! Oh, my god.
- That's so sweet.
Let me see it - No, Marc Marc! Marc, the wheel! (screams, glass shatters) What have I done? - You crashed Cliff's car.
How's he ever gonna be able to trust me again? Um, you get it fixed.
It's just a car.
And it's an ugly car, so you kind of did him a favor.
Guys, we can't wait for the tow truck.
We'll never make it on time.
Amanda, help me push.
Uh, no.
These stilettos were not meant for pushing.
Although, maybe they were meant for something else.
(Marc groans) Unh! Wait, wait.
Wait.
I wasn't ready.
- If we get back to the city by 5:00, We can all get completely drunk And pretend like none of this ever happened.
Okay, here's I saw a store back that way.
Marc, you stay here.
Amanda, come with me.
We'll ask someone for a ride.
- These stilettos are Okay, I'm going by myself.
(Amanda) Whatever.
Betty, could you grab me some beef jerky? Thanks! (knocks rhythmically) I got the horse right here.
His name is Paul Revere.
Are you a cop? Because you gotta say if you are.
I'm just here to get my roots done.
Julie, you look so good, right? - Yeah.
I added some extra layers for fullness.
- I love it.
It's perfect.
Oh, good.
I'm so glad.
Now just remember what it looks like.
Oh, and don't take that off until you're around the corner.
Hey.
Da-da-da.
You gotta go out the back.
And if anyone asks, you were here looking for your cat.
Bye.
- Hello.
Hey! Oh, you waited too long.
I know.
I know.
Okay.
Papi.
Why aren't you at work? They're bombing for roaches.
So this is your solution? Breaking the law? Excuse me.
(lowered voice) look, I tried to do it legally.
I applied for a permit and look what happened.
I got rejected.
So why take no for an answer? # (groans) (groans) Oh.
Oh, good.
(panting) Hello.
Good day.
How are you? Um, I have a very strange request.
I was wondering if you could MAYBE give me a ride to Talmadge Hall.
I could pay you, uh and 10, 15, 16, 17 Lady, I'd love to drive you, but the government don't want me behind the wheel after that third D.
W.
I.
(man) # Hempstead after dark # (sighs) Oh.
Mm! Okay.
Uh, well, is there anyone else around here who maybe doesn't have those issues? No judgment.
# so put me on a highway # (sighs) Right.
Okay.
Well, then I guess I'll just take a couple of these for now.
Hey.
What the # yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah # Here you go.
Wait.
Let me see that.
Do you have a phone book? (airplane engine hums) So I'm torn.
Much as I like to see Wilhelmina suffer, I'm kind of ready to strangle someone if I don't get my phone back.
(laughs) You and everyone else here.
(laughs) So how was your walk in the woods? Any revelations? No, not really a business one.
Mm.
Romantic? At makes you say that? Because you look like a boy with a crush and some sort of crud on your face.
Mom, okay, maybe a little crush, but she's taken, so what's the point? Her name wouldn't be Betty, would it? What? No! No! (airplane engine humming) Looks like we're getting our phones back.
Thank you so much, Daniel.
I really appreciate that.
Betty, this is teriyaki.
No, I really mean it.
You went way above and beyond the call of duty, Betty.
Skywriting-- way to think on your feet.
- Well, you put me in charge, and I didn't want to disappoint you, So I used your credit card number and voilà! Oh, just curious.
Uh, how much does skywriting cost anyway? Um, let's just say a lot less than a massive P.
R.
nightmare.
Not that our problems even compare to the tornado victims'.
Right.
I'm gonna call Phil down at the loading dock right now.
Great.
(beep) (sighs) Well, you'll be happy to know this retreat's gonna end early so we can deal with this whole thing.
We're gonna have to figure out a whole new cover, eat the cost of the old one.
Do we? Before you make that call, why don't we have a little chat? (man singing Spanish) Okay, one plate of "Betty saved the magazine" pancakes.
Mmm! - Mmm! What's in them? Actually, just regular pancakes with whipped cream.
You didn't give me a lot of time.
- Mm.
You know, using a skywriter to send a message--let me tell you, that's the stuff people remember you for.
- I don't know.
I'm just glad I got a chance to show them I can handle a little responsibility.
(Justin) Aunt Betty! Hmm? Talk about being ripped from the headlines.
"Eye of the Fashion Storm"? Where did you get that? - The newsstands.
Oh, no.
Scandal-- bad timing or bad taste? The "Mode" fashion storm cover hit the stands this morning, fresh on the heels of that devastating tornado in one of those flat states I can't find on a map.
(ding) The question is what did the "Mode" leadership know, when did they know it and what were they wearing? with issues flying off the stands, it's no mystery why the Meade-iots have stayed strangely silent-- controversy sells and gets ratings, which is why I'll make sure this story does not go away.
Hey.
Any news? Did you find out what happened? No, I've just been dealing with this P.
R.
crisis.
The press is not leaving us alone.
Oh, no.
Uh, don't worry I'm gonna deal with this.
Hey, guys.
Uh, as I mentioned, we're having a press conference tomorrow.
I'm sorry.
We don't want you, we want to talk to her, our favorite sweaty Modie.
Now is it true that you're the one responsible for the "Mode" cover fiasco? What? No.
Oh, you're saying this isn't a picture of you giving final approval for the issue? - Well, yes, that's me, but-- Guilty.
Guys, guys.
Betty is not responsible for this.
Its name is Betty.
In fact, she's the one who tried to stop this from happening.
Oh, she did? Because about the time your issue was being shipped, we have footage of her doing this buying questionable meat products and stealing toys from children.
- No, you got it all wrong.
See, that is how I got the idea to call a skywriter.
Skywriter? Yeah, it was actually very clever.
Betty hired a skywriter to try-- - This story is getting more any last comments, Tornado Girl? (camera shutters clicking) Um I have to tell the truth.
Oh, don't be a boob, Daniel.
Have you seen these numbers? Connor asked us to increase our revenues, and this is the highest selling issue of "Mode" in history.
But Betty's getting blamed for it.
I never would have agreed to this if I knew that was gonna happen.
Oh, tra-la-la-la-la.
So what if some frumpy assistant gets her feelings hurt today? She's used to it.
Ultimately, it may help us avoid layoffs tomorrow.
Trust me.
It'll all blow over.
What if it doesn't? You and I run this company.
We cannot get our hands dirty.
Taking the fall is what the little people are for.
(cell phone rings) Oh.
(ring) (beep) Please stop harassing me.
I am not the bad guy.
You should be ashamed of yourself.
That is disgusting and not even physically possible.
(sighs) somebody put my cell phone number on enemiesoftheheartland.
com (scoffs) I really don't understand how this ended up happening, because I did everything to stop that issue from going out, and now I'm getting blamed for it.
You know, I hate that saying-- "no good deed goes unpunished"-- But it really seems to apply here.
You know what? That's just like my pert getting denied.
I went through all the right channels, and still, I get-- (gasps) fudge! - Fudge! (mouth full) I just feel so helpless, you know? It's like everything is just spinning out of control, you know gaining momentum, like a tornado? Justin.
(slams hand on table) You, too? It's not personal, Aunt Betty.
There just hasn't been a T-shirt-worthy scandal since Winona had her troubles.
Okay, that's enough.
My girls may be a lot of things, but helpless isn't one of them.
So the question is, what are you gonna do now? (Ignacio) Hmm? (wind howls) Thank you so much for coming with me.
I don't think it's gonna get physical, but I might need someone here to restrain me.
Please.
I'm happy to be anywhere I'm anonymous.
Hey, aren't you Tornado Girl? No.
I just look like her.
We're here to see Councilman Rodriguez.
- Well, I'm afraid the councilman is unavailable.
You want to make an appointment to come back next week? Next week? Mm.
I got a problem right now.
- Forget it.
Hilda, she said "unavailable.
" That's what I say when Daniel's in the bathroom.
He must be here.
(door opens) Oh! Look.
Hilda.
Hey, how'd that permit work out? Oh, you didn't hear? I got rejected.
Oh, wow.
Uh, I'm sorry.
You're sorry.
You're sorry? You told me to do things aboveboard, and what happens? I get screwed.
(whispers) Take it down a notch.
(clears throat) All right.
Councilman, I am one your constituents, and I got a problem how you gonna fix it? Uh, they rejected your permit.
There's nothing I can do.
The law is the law.
The law is the law? That's the best you got? It seems like you could do a little bit better when you are destroying someone's dreams.
This is one of the only good things that has happened to my sister in a long time.
Lots of people have home businesses.
There's got to be something you could do.
.
isn't that your job? - Betty.
I'm coming.
Oh! Oh! Aah! (screams and gasps) Oh.
- Marc! (whispers) Shh! Silence.
(presses button) (flatly) Powerful forces are arrayed against you.
What? What are you talking about? Things are not what they seem.
- Okay, not in the mood.
Not all birds fly south in winter.
I don't understand you.
Stop being cryptic.
(normal voice) Oh.
For god sake, Betty, I'm not gonna jeopardize my job by spelling it out to you.
If you want to know what really happened with the issues going out, then go talk to Phil in the loading dock.
(whispers) He knows.
I need to know why the issue wasn't stopped after Daniel called you.
Yeah, well, too bad, 'cause I ain't talkin'.
Well, I ain't leavin'.
You can't get away from me.
- You're like a gnat with glasses.
Well, I could do this all day, 'cause if I'm not getting hate mail from the daughters of Kansas, then it's a vacation.
Yeah.
You got a raw deal.
You're a pain in my ass, but you don't deserve this.
All right, come here.
(clears throat) Listen, you didn't hear this from me, but I got a call, all right.
It wasn't telling me to hold the issue.
It was telling me to ship it.
What? Well, who told you to do that? (sighs) Uh, Betty? You lied to my face, Daniel.
You have to believe me.
You were never supposed to get blamed for this.
But I did.
And I defended you.
You saw me.
Yeah, but you knew the truth, and you said nothing.
Look, things are not as simple as you and I wish they were.
This company is in a lot of trouble.
We need money.
I only agreed to it because it was a business decision.
It was a way to save Jobs.
And ruin my reputation.
Look, I never intended for that to happen.
This is gonna blow over.
- Blow over? (voice breaking) I'm not Daniel Meade.
I'm an assistant, and I don't want to be an assistant for the rest of my life.
The only thing I have going for me is my reputation, and now I don't have that.
I'm Tornado Girl.
Chocolate chip.
Oh, papi, thank you.
(doorbell rings) I'll get it.
Evening.
I'm Councilman Rodriguez.
I hope I'm not disturbing you.
- No, sir.
Mr.
Councilman, it is an honor to have you in our home.
Please.
Thank you.
He's been here before, papi.
I gave him a haircut, remember? So what are you gonna do now, evict us? I kind of felt bad about earlier today, and I don't want to be the guy who destroyed your dreams, so I've, uh, done a little bit of research.
What is that? Your loophole.
See, if 30% of your profits come from products you sell, then we can get you that permit, for a boutique.
A boutique? So wait, wait, wait.
If I sell things, I can cut hair.
- That's right.
So what am I gonna sell? Are you kidding? First you can get rid of this hideous lamp, and then get rid of half a dozen of those saints and while you're at it, get rid of Betty's hats.
Well, actually, I was thinking you could sell some candles.
See? Just a thought.
Muchísmo gracias, Councilman Rodriguez.
Oh, please, call me Archie.
- Okay, Archie.
Hey, let me get my camera before you go.
Papi.
Wow.
Well, thank you.
I I owe you.
Well (sniffs) Well, good luck.
Thanks.
Hey, uh, if you ever need a haircut or--or a candle (chuckles) Just say the word.
Since I've sort of done you a favor, I don't think it would be ethical to, uh, get a free haircut, so Yeah.
Oh, I was gonna charge you, Councilman.
(chuckles) (laughs) Well, then I'll definitely be stopping by.
Okay.
All right, good night.
Night.
(door closes) (Ignacio) Okay, everybody say "queso.
" Hey.
- Papi.
Where'd he go? (Betty clears throat) I spoke to Phil and Daniel.
I know what happened.
I officially have no idea what you're talking about Hmm.
But I'm sorry.
We're very different people.
That said, we're in the same position, and sometimes we have he to look out for each other, so Well, thank you.
Clearly Cliff has had a good influence on you.
He's a very lucky man.
(scoffs) He's yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He's really, really lucky.
Uh, what was that? Nothing.
Uh, everything's great.
Everything is perfect.
Uh, well, this may be none of my business, but it doesn't seem like everything's okay.
You're right.
It's none of your business.
What are you still looking at me for? All right, fine.
I-I I cheated on Cliff at your party, and that's why I asked him to marry me, because I felt so guilty.
And now I feel like such a terrible person because of it, and i'm sure that's what you feel, too.
Marc, I know you're a good person.
But I also know that it really hurts when someone you trust lies to you.
Look, if you love him, he deserves to know the truth.
(Wilhelmina) Rest assured, Meade publications is doing everything it possibly can to rectify this terrible situation.
By tomorrow-- or the latest, next week-- every issue will be off the newsstands.
And how are you dealing with Tornado Girl? (laughter) Fired, reprimanded, banished to a basement somewhere? Now, now.
(chuckles) That is an internal issue that we are handling privately.
We're all human, and we all make mistakes.
So thank you-- Wilhelmina's right.
(sighs) We all do make mistakes, especially those of us in charge.
I was the one who made the decision to let the magazine run in the newsstands.
It was a very cynical decision, and I regret it but not nearly as much as I regret watching my assistant, Betty Suarez, take the blame.
It was my fault, mine alone.
Well, I-I, for one, am shocked, Daniel, uh, personally shocked and embarrassed that our company is involved in something like this which is why Meade publications will donate all profits from the sale of this issue to a relief fund to benefit the victims of these tornadoes.
Uh, that's That's all I have to say.
(clears throat) Thank you, everyone.
(reporters talking at once) (Suzuki) Did we hear correctly? All proceeds from the sale of this month's magazine (mouths words) will be going to tornado victims? (mouths words) So what did you want to tell me that was so important I had to rush over? Well, how do I say this? - Uh I crashed your car.
Oh.
(laughs) God.
I thought it was something much worse.
(laughs) Whew.
(chuckles) Actually, there is something else.
You better sit down.
Hey, Tornado Boy.
Hey, Molly.
So is that what you're gonna call me now? What? It's cool, like a superhero name.
(laughs) I just wanted to tell you that I'm impressed.
It's not very often you get to see a big shot throw himself under a bus for an assistant.
Well, ahem.
Thanks.
It looks like your ankle's okay.
I have a splint.
Is it weird that I'm a little excited about having a splint? I've never had one before.
You wanna sign it? Sure.
I'm a little hopped up on painkillers right now.
(laughs) Oh, well, please.
You're welcome to sit down, if you'd like.
Connor should be around here somewhere.
- Actually, it's our anniversary.
He's taking us to Del Posto.
Oh, well, make sure you don't drink wine.
The painkillers.
(gasps) Right.
(sighs) I am so proud of you both.
Mm.
You fought for yourselves, and you won.
Yeah, I taped and I just can't stop watching it.
- Is there a bottle of champagne uh-oh.
If it's not made in France, it's sparkling wine, and that bottle's from New Jersey.
(chuckles) (sighs) What's the matter, baby? I thought you were happy.
Everything's back to normal.
It is, and normal is good.
Believe me.
If I never hear the word "tornado" again, I'll be just fine.
(laughs) It's just there was a moment there where I thought I had actually accomplished something really great, you know, something that would make normal different more, I guess.
I don't know.
Mija, you keep putting one foot in front of the other, open your eyes to the opportunities, you're gonna get to where you wanna go, guaranteed.
I love you.
I love you, too.
(laughs) (the panics) # where has my light gone? # # where has my fit gone? # # what keeps us burning when t fire is long gone? # # when I can't relate to that voice without a face # # should I be afraid, or is it just # Connor, now that Daniel has go and given everything away, we need to strategize.
I'm afraid it's gonna be a late night.
- Uh Well, that's not gonna be a problem for you, is it? No.
I had dinner plans, but I can reschedule.
Good.
We're very lucky to have you on board.
# my answer's always this # # I said don't fight it # # don't fight it # # don't fight it # # if you don't know what it is # # if you don't know what it is # (speaks inaudibly) # just don't fight it # # don't fight it # # don't fight it # # if you don't know what it is # # if you don't know what it is # Yeah, well, it's work.
It's always work.
Molly.
I gotta go.
Don't run.
Please.
# if you don't know what it is # # if you don't know what it is # # just dot n fight it # # don't fight it # # don't fight it # # if you don't know what it is # # if you don't know what it is #