Wilfred s03e08 Episode Script

So what made you decide to give therapy a try, Ryan? Well, it wasn't really my decision.
My sister thinks I had a nervous breakdown.
I take it you don't see it that way.
No.
It was just a bad reaction to some sleep medication.
Which she prescribed for me, by the way.
So you're doing this for your sister? She doesn't really take "no" for an answer.
She wants me to work out my issues with our father before this big family party she's planning for my nephew's first Christmas.
Not that I'm planning on being there.
Okay.
Well, for whatever reason you're here, how about if we just Ryan? Sorry.
What were you saying? Is that your dog? I'm watching him for a neighbor.
You know, dogs can be very therapeutic.
Why don't you bring him in.
It might help you to relax.
Then when I was, what, four years old, I suddenly started feeling this rage inside me.
I felt like I wasn't me.
It got to the point where And honestly, I felt like I wanted to hurt someone.
And then, it turns out in the end, it was just some kid skateboarding past my yard.
Whenever you're ready, Ryan.
I'm sorry.
I don't really know what I'm supposed to be talking about.
You said you were here to work out some issues with your father.
There's nothing to work out.
I already know exactly who he is.
He's controlling, he's devious, he's Machiavellian.
I really can't see a scenario in which talking about it's gonna change that.
Then when I was six, I developed an unhealthy obsession with this bird until it flew away some five seconds later.
Sounds like you don't like him very much.
Did he do anything specific to make you feel this way? I don't even know where to start.
Well, is there a memory that stands out? Oh, by the way, it can be very comforting to touch an animal while sharing your thoughts in therapy.
I'd like you to pet Wilfred now.
Yeah, I don't think so.
Ryan and I don't really do the petting thing.
I'm okay.
Just give it a try.
Don't.
Don't you dare.
Ryan, respect my space, please.
I'm not even joking, dude.
I'm Oh, wow.
I always forget how heavenly that actually does feel.
Please, Ryan.
Go ahead.
I guess the memory that stands out the most is the day he put my mother in a mental institution.
I was ten.
After we dropped her off and said good-bye, instead of, I don't know, consoling us or doing something as a family, he took us back to the office.
He just sat us down on a couch with a Game Boy and some magazines while he spent the rest of the afternoon working.
Like it was just another day at the office.
I still remember him yelling at his secretary for some missing report that he needed.
Like he cared more about that missing report than the fact that his own kids had just lost their mother.
Sorry, Jenna put some Frontline on me this morning.
Ryan, it seems to me that you're holding on to a lot of resentment from your childhood.
I'd like to tell you about a nontraditional method of therapy called EMDR.
EMDR? EMDR? Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing.
It allows people to sort of revisit their memories and reprocess traumatic events.
Yeah.
I-I don't really Ryan, confronting memories like the one you've just described-- deeply, vividly confronting them-- can help you to let go of whatever's burdening you, whatever's holding you back, so you can finally start to move on.
I wish Kristen would get off my ass.
I did not have a breakdown.
Mate, you can lie to Kristen and that doctor all you want; I saw what happened.
You got to get past these issues with your dad.
Maybe you should give this memory therapy thing a shot.
Yeah, right.
The last thing I need right now is to relive moments from my messed-up childhood.
Wait, you're scared, aren't you? Scared? Of going back to that day in your dad's office after your mom got put away.
Ryan, you're an adult now.
It may not be as traumatic anymore.
I'm not scared, Wilfred.
You know, years ago, I found a muskrat skull in the woods.
Still had one eye.
Really creeped me out.
So, obviously, I buried it in the yard for safekeeping with my other cherished belongings.
Years later, I felt it was time to dig it up.
I'll be honest, I was scared.
I mean, this skull-- I swear, I thought I saw it blink once.
But-but when I dug it up, what I found was a happy, squeaky rubber bone.
So you forgot where you buried the skull.
No.
The way I see it is the skull was never an actual skull.
Yeah, you definitely forgot.
The point is things we bury in the past are sometimes not as upsetting as we remember them.
That's why you need this therapy.
Trust me on this.
Why should I trust you? Why shouldn't you? I know we put that childhood drawing to rest, but I still don't have any answers about what it means or what you are.
Maybe that's what I should talk to my therapist about.
If you want him to send you straight to the loony bin, be my guest.
You're right.
I can't just ignore this shit with my dad anymore.
Like I said, trust me on this.
Always trust Wilfred.
A.
T.
W.
That's why we wear these wristbands, to constantly remind ourselves of that.
Wait, what did you do with yours? These are the pulsers I described to you.
And as we discussed, I'd like you to take one in each hand and concentrate on the vibrations being emitted through them.
They'll help you focus and relax.
Now I want you to close your eyes and we'll begin.
I want you to think back to the day your father placed your mother in an institution.
Tell me what you see.
Whoa.
I see my mother being committed.
Get in the car.
There's Kristen.
Where are you now, Ryan? I'm in my father's office.
This is right after we left my mother.
I'm playing my Game Boy.
God, everything's so vivid.
Psst! Psst! Wilfred? What are you doing here? Shh! I'm not Wilfred.
I'm a creation of your mind, and I'm here to deliver a very important message to you: Don't trust Wilfred.
I'm telling you, Wilfred is up to something, mate, - which is why you need to - Ryan, I seem to have lost you.
Can you describe to me what's happening? I'm still in my father's office.
I'm pretending to focus on my Game Boy, but I'm actually We can talk freely now.
Okay, I have no idea what's going on.
You said you're a creation of my mind? Your subconscious often feels the need to express things to you in familiar, accessible representations.
Like that guy over there.
What's up, Ryan? Who the hell is that? That's the part of your brain that worries about the parking meter.
Look, I mean, I don't want to be that guy, but you only have 17 minutes left on your meter.
Personally? Me? I'm kind of freaking out here! And your purpose is to tell me that I'm not supposed to trust Wilfred? Never trust Wilfred.
N.
T.
W.
That's why I wear this bracelet, to Constantly remind yourself of that.
I got it.
Here's yours, by the way.
But wait, why should I trust you? Where are we going? Oh, God.
Dude, what are you doing? Nothing.
I just Ryan, let's go! School starts in 20 minutes! Are you drawing on pubic hairs? I was a late bloomer.
What am I, a freshman in high school? Why are we even here? Shit, we must have taken a wrong turn.
Okay, um, freshman year memories.
There we are.
I think we were meant to take a left after the Hootie & the Blowfish years.
Come on.
G- Get us out of here! I said, let's go! This is the day I drew the drawing.
I must be six years old.
God, I forgot about those shoes.
I actually thought Reebok Pumps were cool.
Were?! Reebok Pumps are the shit! L- Look, this is all fascinating, but I came here to deal with my father issues.
This drawing created friction between you and Wilfred, didn't it? He told you you'd find answers in good time.
And you trusted him.
So what? Was he hiding information from me? Did he burn the drawing for some secret, selfish reason? Maybe, I don't know.
But coming here doesn't prove anything.
He burned it in the basement.
Did he really burn it though? Or did he switch it at the last second, and burn a blank piece of paper? That's enough for today.
We'll pick this up at our next session.
Ryan, you're back.
Well, how was the therapy? I have so many questions about your childhood, I don't even know where to start.
Like, what was on the floor of your dad's office? Cookie crumbs? Spaghetti sauce droplets? I don't know what to tell you.
The EMDR thing didn't really work.
Aw.
Well, that's a shame, mate.
Yeah.
Well, Dr.
Blum seems to think if I bring a memento from my childhood, like a photo or a drawing, that it might trigger something.
Like your old belly-smacking bat? I've told you a thousand times, that's my Wiffle Ball bat.
Agree to disagree.
Okay, and would you stop doing that? That shit's getting really old.
Even when I do the monster truck rally voice? Especially when you do the monster truck rally voice.
Ow! You got smacked! Okay, I'm just gonna come out and say it.
I know you didn't burn the drawing.
What? Of course I did.
You saw me do it.
Oh, really? Well, then how come I found it when I was digging around in the yard the other day? Damn! How did you find it? I didn't.
But I figured you buried it like you always do.
W- Wait, so you were bluffing? But how could you possibly deduce that I bury all my cherished belongings like my creepy muskrat skull? Shit! I just want to know why you buried the drawing.
I can't quite explain why.
All I know is I had a visceral feeling that it was too important to burn.
You're lying.
I'm not.
Look, if I could just prove it to you, I Ryan, the next time you do that memory therapy, try to go back to the day you drew the drawing, and you'll see I'm not keeping any secrets from you.
Yeah.
Well, I-I guess I could, but Wait, don't tell me, you already went back there? Sort of.
It all happened so fast.
And you didn't even think to check if I was there? You idiot! Ow! You got smacked! Look, mate, this is our chance to finally learn the truth.
You've got to go back there.
Before we begin, I want to remind you to stay focused.
Last time, you got to the point where you were basically just repeating the same sentence over and over, almost like a skipping record.
Oh, sorry about that.
It's okay.
Now just relax and focus on the vibrations.
Now, close your eyes.
I want you to revisit that memory of your father and tell me what you see.
I'm back in my dad's office again.
Kristen is still sitting next to me.
I notice a plant on the table Wilfred? Wilfred! Wilfred, stop! Why are you running from me? Stop! Wilfred! Wilfred! Wilfred? Wait, is that a spaceship? Hey, buddy.
I sure did have a lot of fun hanging out with you.
Thanks for showing me your planet.
But now it's time for me to return to my home planet.
Wait, you're an alien? I'm gonna miss you, little fella.
I don't understand.
How could I not remember this? I'll be back in a couple of human decades, kiddo.
And most importantly, don't let anyone tell you to stop wearing those Reebok Pumps.
They're cool.
Trust me.
Wait, did this actually happen? Hurry back home now.
If you stay any longer, you'll probably start to cry.
Good-bye, Ryan.
I'll miss you.
Just go back out the door you came in.
Bye-bye.
Uh, yeah, don't worry about that.
Uh, that's just our launching, uh, thing-thingie Is that spaceship fake? Just go, dude! Leave! Wait! You! You created this memory.
Why would you do this? The real question is: why did you do it? You're trying to trick me.
You're the one I shouldn't trust.
I'm a creation of your mind, mate.
How could I do something without you making me do it? So why did you do it? I don't know.
Just say it! Just say what? You've been distracting yourself! What are you running away from?! The memory in my father's office! But why?! Because I just don't want to go back there, okay? It'll hurt too much.
Come in.
Sorry to bother you, Mr.
Newman.
I just wanted to check in and see how you were holding up.
Excuse me? Oh, I'm sorry, I just thought today must have been difficult for you.
You want to know what's difficult for me, Genevieve? Understanding how in God's name I hired someone as incompetent as you! I've asked you three times to find the transcript for the Enright deposition.
I'm so sorry, sir.
Just get the goddamn deposition! Yes, sir.
God, he's so angry.
Kristen, take your brother to the lobby.
I have a meeting in a few minutes.
Is he is he crying? He never cried.
So how do you feel? I feel better.
That's wonderful, Ryan.
Now, before we end our session today, I- I'd like to talk to you about some things you said during the EMDR.
Specifically, your memory of, and I quote, "the beast with four Matt Damon heads "who fellated you one night, "each head performing a different, specific, oral task.
" Unfortunately, I didn't learn anything new about you or the drawing.
But I did learn a lot about my father.
Your therapy experience sounds inspirational, mate.
In fact, it even taught me a few things.
Cool.
Hey, also Stop, you're not that short, mate.
What? No, thanks.
Let's order Indian food tonight.
Have you not been listening to me this entire time? What? Of course I've been listening to you this entire time.
Come on, you must be good at something.
Well, there is this one thing.
No, it's-it's too embarrassing.
Come on.
I promise I won't laugh.
Okay.
I can't believe I'm doing this.
Wow, that's great.
Really? No.
It's disgusting.
You-you put your slimy, erect penis on your lips.
And-and that-- I-I can only assume it's blood.
Shit, you're right.
That's demented.
Don't tell anyone I did that.
Ah ah.
Don't eat that.
It's got chocolate in it? Yes.
It's got raisins in it, too? Yes, and both are poison to dogs.
And that-- is it mold on it, growing there? And if I eat it, it'll make me sick, right? Right.
Exactly.
Thanks for the heads-up.
You're welcome.
Better take me to the vet.