Being Erica (2009) s03e09 Episode Script

Previously on "Being Erica": So you were raised in a cult, and now? Well, I got out.
Julianne, it is so different from anything that I've ever read.
"The Purple Door" will be the jewel in the crown of this company.
So couples counselling, really? Just keeping on top of things so that we don't wind up divorced.
Well, you haven't changed at all.
Aren't you at all curious? I always wondered about breasts.
Dave's kind of scary when he's jealous.
Gotcha.
You think you can make decisions for me for the rest of my life, forever.
Dr.
Tom: Is that what I'm doing with Erica? Making her decisions for her? Camilla, why don't you tell us about "Sadie's Wig Shop"? Uh, before I went back to school, I worked as a wig stylist at Sadie's.
Um, her customers were mostly Jewish women.
And after marriage, they're required to cover their hair.
Is this a Jewish rule? Only for the Ultra-Orthodox.
Anyway, um, my co-worker, Danielle, was "borrowing" money from the till.
She told me she always paid it back, she was just going through some serious challenges.
What kind of challenges? Her boyfriend kicked her out.
Um, she had a baby and nowhere to go.
I really felt for her; I knew what it was like to be a single mother.
So I, um promised I wouldn't say anything, if she promised she would pay it back and stop doing it.
But she didn't.
No.
You never told the owner? Uh, Sadie went bankrupt a year later.
And you feel responsible.
Well, yes, of course, to a certain extent, I did.
You know, so if I could go back, I wouldn't let Danielle do it.
I want this off my conscience.
All right.
Well, why don't you go ahead and choose someone you would like to accompany you? Really? Yeah, why not? Uh, Erica? Uh, you have some recent experience with a friend going off the rails.
And I'm Jewish, so I'll blend - or I'll try to.
Dr.
Tom: All right.
Well then Off you go.
Oh! I am so sorry.
Oh here.
Oh it's fine.
It's totally Ah fine.
Whoa.
Mrs.
Naiberg: But I used my credit card the last time I was here.
Right, but our system is down today, so for the wash and style I need cash, Mrs.
Naiberg.
I'm sorry.
Mrs.
Naiberg: If it has to be cash, it has to be cash.
Are you okay to wait here while I, um? Fine.
Don't worry about me.
You just go and do what you have to do.
Your shietel is gorgeous.
Beautiful colour.
My shietel? Oh! My shietel! Thank you.
Sorry, I didn't hear you.
Ugh.
Mine was a mess.
I got caught in the rain yesterday and I just had my chasuna last week! Your My chasuna My wedding.
Oh! Mazel tov! That's That's wonderful.
Thank you.
It's been such a whirlwind.
My husband is getting his smicha at yeshivas eitz chaim, under rav Goldstein.
Mmm.
That's Impressive.
You're putting me in a very impossible position, you realize that? - You're my friend, - Yes, I am Yikes.
That doesn't sound good.
I'll help you as I can, but I cannot help you do this.
I'm sorry.
I can't help you anymore.
I know, please.
I just need a little bit of- I understand.
Uh, Mrs.
Naiberg, here, it's all ready.
Mrs.
Naiberg: Great.
Thank you.
Actually, Mrs.
Naiberg, uh, you can pay by credit card if you'd like; we fixed our system.
It's up and running.
Great.
Perfect.
You almost done? Mrs.
Naiberg: Yes, I am.
Thank you, Danielle.
Parked out front.
Seth? Mrs.
Naiberg: Goodbye.
Nice chatting with you.
Seth? You okay? Who was that guy, the one that just left? Shimon Naiberg.
Rivka's husband.
Sorry, but I need to go and talk to him.
Uh, Erica?! No! You, you need to send me back.
Erica.
Open the door.
No.
Please, come and sit down.
What did I just see, Dr.
Tom? Because I think that I just saw Seth Newman.
And that shouldn't have happened.
Oh my God, that really was him, and we're, we're publishing his autobiography and it's just It's a huge, crazy lie! Okay, so is that why you sent me back with Camilla? So I could find out that Seth, he wasn't in a cult; that he's really an Orthodox Jew? No.
No? No.
It was a mistake.
It was my mistake.
I should've checked and I didn't.
I'm sorry.
You have to send me back.
So that you can do what? So that I can talk to him and I can get proof, and then I can tell Julianne so we can stop this! We've spent all of this money, and now we're launching a book that isn't real! Oh my God, I am I am freaking out here.
I get it.
You're upset, but And, Erica, you have every right to be, but you know that you can't use time-travel to track Seth down; that's not how this therapy works.
So you're just saying that there's nothing I can do and I just need to go out there and forget about this and just publish the book anyway? No, no, that's not what I'm saying.
Well, then what are you saying? What am I supposed to do? I don't know.
it's clearer inside of me who I will always be open me up to my heart feels like I'm seeing in the dark waking me up to my heart to do it all over again and again until the end the sum of my dreams and everything I ever wanted to be Okay, George, we're live in three, two, one.
Hey, what's going on, everybody? Come on in.
Welcome to another addition of the show.
I'm your boyfriend, George Stroumboulopoulos.
All right, tonight, author Seth Newman.
What a story he has! Here's his bio.
In 2001, he was one of the faceless members of the order of God, a cult that controlled every aspect of its members' lives.
And while the compound, nestled on the remote shores of Lake Nipissing, was his entire world, Seth knew there was something else out there Something just beyond The Purple Door Where is she? What's with the disappearing act? One second you're right behind me, the next it's - poof! - You're gone, you're Look, I'm sorry.
But, Julianne, we, um We need to talk.
No, we need to apologize to Seth.
Today is his big day.
No worries.
It's fine, really.
But still, before we send Seth out there, I think that we really should just regroup for a second, okay? Regroup? Erica, Seth's the one who should have stage fright, not you.
Everybody, say hello to Seth Newman.
That's me.
Aww! A star is born! My office is right this way.
And you got my contract? I did.
So is it good news or bad news? Oh no.
Unfortunately, I don't really think you have a case.
I mean, you may not like the improvements your landlord has made to your offices, but it's within his legal right to do so.
I mean, of course, you can always renegotiate when you're able to And then Godzilla climbed out of Lake Ontario and attacked the CN tower.
Sorry, what did you just say? You weren't even listening! Yes I was.
Oh! You used to do the exact same thing when I would help you with your math homework.
Remember the Geometry set.
Yes, I remember.
How could I forget having one thrown at my face? Uh! I didn't throw it at your face.
Yeah, you did.
And I still have the scar to prove it.
It's right there.
No, it's right here.
I'm sorry.
It's okay.
No, it's not really.
You should go.
So, tell me you just ran out there barefoot? Well, I didn't have time to get my shoes on - I had one shot at escaping and I took it.
Amazing.
Yeah.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, you were wonderful.
You were.
And you, you are just You're way more dreamy in real life than you are on my flatscreen.
Thank you.
Hi, I'm George.
Julianne Giacomelli.
I'm the publisher of "The Purple Door" and I'm the former publisher of "The Secret of Now," and, believe or not, I am single.
That's very hard to believe actually.
That's very nice.
For sure.
Um, hi.
We haven't met.
Sorry.
Oh, this is my partner, Erica.
My business partner, not my life partner.
This is Okay.
Um, anyway, listen, congratulations on the book.
I'm gonna buy copies for my whole family.
It's gonna be really huge.
All right, take care.
Okay.
Great.
Do you think he liked me? David, do you know what $1600 dollars can buy? It can buy an industrial strength dishwasher, or a month's supply of alcohol.
A trip for two to New York City to see "Billy Elliot: The musical.
" Now you tell me, what else can $1600 buy, hmm? If this is about the money I withdrew- Oh, it's definitely about the money you withdrew behind my back, without consulting me.
$1600 also buys you The Incredible Hulk, issue 181.
A comic book.
You don't understand.
Wolverine makes his first appearance.
Okay, you know what? I don't even wanna hear anymore.
It's bad enough that you spent a fortune on a comic; what's worse is you kept it from me.
Yikes.
Ooh, someone's got his flannel pyjamas in a knot, huh? It's okay, I knew this would happen.
Well, yeah.
I mean, spending an arm and a leg on a pair of shoes, I get.
But a comic book I didn't buy a comic book.
Wow! Dave, you're gonna ask Ivan to marry you? Shhh! Secret, okay? I got a text message saying there's an emergency? There is.
Lock the door.
Yes, doctor.
So what is it? I only have 23 minutes left on my break.
Oh.
I see.
Oh, this is way better than a supply closet.
Right.
Maybe they'll go away.
- Someone in there? - Just gimme a second.
My shirt! "$at the door) Uh, hold on.
This call room's booked, doctor.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
I didn't realize.
Uh, yeah, so the leak in the ensuite's all fixed up.
It shouldn't bothering anybody anymore.
Thank you.
Course.
Yeah.
Hmm.
Paging doctor Becker All right.
Woo! Okay, so to quote from the best movie ever made, "when the lord closes a door, somewhere he opens a window.
" This is to Seth Newman for blowing that purple door wide open! And Given all the fab buzz around "The Purple Door," Erica and I have decided- actually, Julianne Oh, don't worry, chicken, I'm not gonna steal your thunder.
You can tell them, go on.
Um I've decided to To put every last dime we have towards a print edition of The Purple Door.
Every last dime.
Wow! I, I Julianne, Erica, you have no idea how incredible this news is.
Oh yeah, we do.
Um, big congrats! You, come here, come here.
Oh! You really delivered the magic, Seth.
Aww.
Hey there, grumpy-bear.
Don't even start.
I'm not in the mood today.
Oh, I think you should cut Dave some slack.
I should cut up his company bank card.
He spends a fortune and then keeps it a secret from me- oh, and you don't know anything about keeping secrets, do you? Hm.
It's not the same.
Dave is a great guy, Ivan.
Go easy on him.
Yeah, good luck on your screenplay.
Seth, hey.
Yeah.
Do you mind if I talk to you? Uh, yeah, of course.
Just in private.
Oh.
Okay.
Please.
Is everything all right? No.
Have a seat.
Is this about printing the book? Because you didn't seem all that thrilled.
And look, if it's a burden on the company If it was, Would that bother you? Yeah, of course it would.
Erica, what's wrong? What have I done? Shimon Naiberg.
That's your real name, right? Sorry? Your name is Shimon Naiberg and you weren't in a cult.
Your book is a complete fabrication.
O-okay, look, I don't know what's going on with you? I don't know if it's stress or internal problems at 50/50.
No, you know what? Our only "internal problem" is that you're a big, lying fake.
Erica, what are you doing? What do you think that I am doing? I am looking for proof so that I can show Julianne and we can do something about this.
What that is, I don't know yet.
Erica, in life, when we are faced with unexpected obstacles The solution is not to panic, but to clearly and calmly examine the options.
Okay, then option 1: We publish a fake memoir and we lose our reputations when the truth comes out.
Option 2: We don't publish it, we still lose our reputations and we re out all of that money.
And before you ask, there isn't an option 3.
Actually, you know what? There is an option three.
Erica I wanna add a regret to my list.
I want to go back and I wanna undo signing Seth Newman.
I can't let you do that.
Why not? Because using information that you have gleaned from a trip to the past to try fix your life in the present contravenes the rules.
I don't care about the rules! Erica No! Everybody keeps breaking the rules first it's Dr.
Fred and Kai with their "Oh hey, you might be dead in 10 years," and now this.
it will not survive Seth's lie.
You have to let me add this as a regret.
I can't.
Maybe Seth has a twin, an identical twin shimon, who left the cult and became an Orthodox Jew and that's that's him.
This is, this is, this is really bad, Erica.
Yeah.
I know.
Okay, we need to call him and Lesley frickin' Kalajian in for a meeting.
Okay.
Do you want me to do it? Yes, because if I'm going to explode, I'd rather do it in person.
So, it's not Wolverine's first appearance, but the guy at silver slug said- Silver Snail.
Huh? Yeah, yeah, whatever.
Uh, the guy, he said that you'd still like it.
So, here you go.
It's a peace offering.
How did you know that I love The Punisher? Uh, 'cause he looks like Arnold Schwarzenegger and the rock's love child.
So you're not mad anymore? No.
No, I mean, we're only human, born to make mistakes.
Even $1600 mistakes.
Enjoy.
Ivan.
What? What aren't you telling me? Pfft! Nothing.
Okay, the last time you acted like this, you were covering for polishing off my cousin Rachel's wedding cake the night before the big day.
I was nervous! You know that I eat when I'm nervous! What're you not telling me? I don't even know what you want- Ivan.
What did you do? Okay, you know, I Probably should've told you this before, right after it happened.
Okay, now you're freaking me out.
What, did you cheat on me? Oh no.
No, no.
Not really.
It's totally not a big deal.
I got kinda got experimental at pride and I, um, sort of Uh I touched Julianne's breasts.
What?! You touched her breasts? How? Experimentally.
It didn't mean anything.
It was just Just curiosity.
No, it was just you cheating on me with a woman on a day that we celebrate being gay.
Wha I It's pretty hard to deny it now, huh? I'm, uh I'm, I'm sorry.
You're, you're sorry? Let me break down the publishing world for you.
You write a best seller.
It garners media attention, which invites scrutiny.
Which leads to people digging up any skeletons you may have in your closet! Seth, do you even have an explanation? I tried to write about leaving Judaism and it Didn't feel that original or interesting, so- So instead you lied and you twisted your religion into a cult.
A religion which I share, by the way.
Do you have any idea how offensive that is? I I took some creative license, okay? All the facts are still true, I just embellished a- but you knew that we were selling this as your autobiography.
A work of non-fiction, which clearly it isn't.
Maybe it still can be.
Think about it.
Seth, how many people from your old life are you still in contact with? None.
I went off the derech, which means I'm an outcast.
They don't even know my new name.
So, suppose you still publish it.
We all agree that this conversation never happened.
Or suppose we just sue Seth for every last penny that he has? I don't have any money.
We gave you a five-figure advance.
I spent it.
Seth, what are the chances anyone in your family will read this book? Zero.
Okay, and what about everyone else? Erica discovered the truth.
Then you spin it.
Look at "A Million Little Pieces.
" The sales increased after it was discovered to be a fraud.
Oprah couldn't even kill it.
Lesley, I can't even believe that you're suggesting- let's just think about it.
Julianne Just Just think about it.
Okay.
My cell phone will be on all afternoon.
We should go.
Seth failed to deliver what he was contracted to write.
So you can go after him for damages, get back your advance No, Jude, he spent the advance.
He's broke.
Well, that's a problem.
What if we just We just published it, pretended we didn't know? This is something that Seth's Agent had suggested.
I don't know.
It's a risky move.
If it gets out that you knowingly published a work of fiction as an autobiography? Well, then you'd be facing loss of credibility, potential lawsuits I can't believe that this is happening.
If we don't publish this book, we go broke.
You guys need to regroup, and really think this thing through.
I'm sorry, there's no real easy answer here.
I just can't believe we're over before we even really got started.
Is there anything that we're missing? Any other option? Oh God, Julianne, you know, I just- I feel like this is my fault because I'm the on that found the book.
And I'm the one who should've known to do a full background check on Seth.
I'm the one with experience.
Oh, this is such a mess.
Hello.
Hi.
Do I know you? No.
But I know you.
I know that you've written a book.
I know that you're about to go in there and sign a contract, and I know that it's all a big lie.
Who are you? A friend.
I'mI'm here to help you.
Because you're about to unleash a series of events that will hurt you and will destroy Erica and Julianne.
"What is hateful to thyself do not do to another.
" Hillel.
Don't do this hateful thing, Shimon Naiberg.
I guarantee it will be something that you will regret.
So, if you could back, what would you do differently? Well, uh I wouldn't have even gone to the derby that night.
Charlene and I never would've fought; she wouldn't have left me for Jana; I'd still have my girlfriend.
Dr.
Naadiah? Isn't this when you usually do your ol' time jumperoo? Hello, Dr.
Arthur.
No.
It's about Tom.
Dr.
Arthur: Tom.
I assume you know why you're here.
Yeah.
Dr.
Arthur: So.
Let's talk about it.
I'm not sure there's anything to talk about.
I know what I did, I know why you're upset.
Tom, I'm not sure what you expect us to say.
I'm expecting you to tell me to undo it, but I won't.
Because I don't regret doing it.
I made a mistake and now I fixed it.
Does Erica even know that you've changed her past? Have you told her? No? And you don't think there's anything wrong with that - for altering Erica's past, with abusing your power? Erica had to weather Dr.
Fred's mistakes; I'm not gonna force her to endure mine.
"The universe has a way of righting itself.
" That's Tom Wexlar, paraphrased.
Well, I think you've made your position quite clear.
I don't think there's anything further to discuss.
We won't force you to undo what you have set in motion.
Dr.
Arthur, uh So, we're done here then? I guess we are.
Well, that was a waste of time.
I don't think so.
Okay, George, we're live in three, two, one.
Hey, what's going on, everybody? Come on in.
Welcome to the show.
I'm your boyfriend, George Stroumboulopoulos.
All right, tonight George Neeb, author of the new home-Reno bible, "The Fixer Upper.
" Okay, you're not supposed to see the bride before a wedding and you're not supposed to pull out the champagne before a book launch, but I'm feeling pretty confident.
He's cocky.
I like it! You know what? That's me.
You're sure I look all right? Well, you look like a best-selling author.
Go on, go knock them dead.
But first, group hug! Group hug! Go on, it's time to fly, baby bird.
When we lost "The Purple Door" to River Rock, I just thought that's it for us.
Aww And look at us now.
I mean, here we are, our first author is on national TV.
I just I can't believe it! Get used to it, ladies.
started.
To the future.
Will and Erica: The future.
Uh, this one you're going to love.
It is totally up your alley.
It's called "For Worse," by Constance Wren.
It's a first-hand account of her and her fiancee as they travel from his proposal to her in Labrador, to the opposite side of the world for their marriage in Australia.
So it's basically the Canadian version of "Committed," by Elizabeth Gilbert.
Sorry, Les, refried beans, no me gusto.
Uh, well, um That's everything I have for now, I'm afraid.
No worries.
We'll find something to work on togetherSome day.
Oh, les, before you go.
I'm sure you heard about Brent Kennedy.
I mean, he did get fired because of Seth Newman's book after all, so Uh, well, it wasn't just because of "The Purple Door.
" But that was the straw that broke Frank Galvin's back.
Hindsight, huh? It's really It's is 20/20.
I mean, I have to admit, at first it "stung" when you and Seth went with the higher offer, but Really we should be thanking you.
So what's going on with all that, anyway? I'm not actually allowed to talk about it.
It's, it's become a legal matter, so.
Yeah, I bet it I bet it has.
Would you excuse me? Dr.
Naadiah, what are you What're you doing here? Is Is Dr.
Tom okay? No, Erica, he isn't.
Dr.
Tom has made a choice that directly affects you, without your knowledge.
What? Look, I don't understand.
He's altered your history and I feel duty-bound to tell you.
He's altered my history? How? I mean, what does that even mean? It means that everything you're experiencing right now is based on a decision that Tom made for you.
Is it true? Is it? Please tell me that you didn't go behind my back and interfere in my life without telling me? I was trying to help you.
How?! Dr.
Tom: You were going to lose your company, and I'm the one to blame for the way you found out and the box that you were put in as a result.
I couldn't ask you to pay the price for my mistake.
You felt guilty, so you decided to fix it so you wouldn't feel that way.
No, no, I made a mistake and I took care of it.
This isn't about you! This is my life! You don't understand! Yes, I do understand! You're not listening to me! Yes, I am! Sarah, I I'm not your daughter.
I know.
Dr.
Tom, please put my life back the way that it was.
Hey.
Hey, look, let's um Let's go back to the office, and I'm gonna get us some lattes and you can get the bank on the phone, and we'll just We'll put our heads together and we'll sit down and we'll really figure out what we're gonna do, okay? Yeah, okay.
Seriously? You bench triple your body weight? Well that explains it.
Hey, Dave.
Can I get a vanilla latte and a Julianne special, please? Julianne? Uh, she can wait.
What's going on? David is teaching me a lesson.
Lesson learned! That's incredible.
Do they dance? If they're in the mood.
Ooh! Okay.
Okay, you know what? Wow.
I think you've proved your point.
I don't think I have.
How about I go play Julianne's duelling banjos for an hour? Wait.
What? It wasn't an hour! It was like five seconds! Oh, well, then what do you think of this? One Mississippi.
Two Mississippi.
Three Mississippi Okay, okay, back off, chesticles.
Guys, know what? I'd love a coffee, but, you know, um Just gonna give you two some space.
You know, this is why I didn't tell you about Julianne, because I knew you wouldn't understand.
Oh, I understand.
You want to "experiment"? You feel like you missed out on your bi years? Fine, whatever, just get it outta your system.
It is out of my system.
Great.
It doesn't change the fact that you kept it from me; that you lied.
Oh, I'm sorry, you're totally innocent? You basically stole $1600 from our bank account to buy some stupid, juvenile comic book! There! There's your comic book.
Oh I'm so sorry, and embarrassed.
Listen, Samantha, I get it.
It's long hours, hard days.
You're not the first doctor I've had this conversation with.
This just isn't how I normally operate, Mark.
I know.
So just Don't do it again, okay? Don't worry, I won't.
Hey.
God, that was mortifying.
I just got called into the chief's office.
Has anyone spoken to you? Yeah.
Yeah, they have.
And they fired me.
What? For uh Unprofessional conduct.
Don't they have to give you a warning? Nope.
Okay, I'm gonna go talk to Mark, okay? No! No, you're not.
You've got way more to lose here than I do.
No, Lenin, this isn't right.
You didn't do anything that I didn't do.
It's not your fault.
I've lived through worse.
What're you going to do? I'll find something else.
Believe it or not, this wasn't actually my dream job.
Yes, anyway, ah I should go; I don't wanna have to get escorted outta here.
Lenin I'll call you.
Hey, Judith.
Hey.
Sorry I'm late.
No.
It's fine.
Would you like a coffee? No.
I just think we should talk.
Sure.
Of course.
Will, we can't do this.
You know that, right? No, I don't, actually.
I'm not gonna have an affair, okay? That is just ridiculous.
That's not me, it's not right and I just can't.
Look.
Every day I get up and I go to work.
It's long and it's stressful, and then I go home and my house is a wreck.
My kids They're running around and they're screaming.
And my wife and I, we're just scrambling with homework and with cleaning and dinner.
By the time we're ready for bed- you're just annoyed and you wanna be alone.
You know what I'm talking about.
And I don't wanna break up my marriage and I don't wanna traumatize my kids, but I'm just not happy.
I can't.
I just can't.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Ugh.
You know it's bad when chocolate doesn't make you feel any better.
Hey, Ivan, you wanna trade this for another latte? Hello? David.
David.
No.
Please, turn around.
There's something that I have to say to you and I'd rather not say this to your back.
Care bear, you and I have a "no secrets" policy, a policy that I broke.
So in the spirit of full disclosure, there's something else that I need to tell you.
David, you are my partner, my ally, and my best friend.
And if I've made you doubt my feelings, I am so sorry.
And I know that you're upset with me right now, but What're you doing? I love you so much.
Will you be my husband? If you're doing this out of guilt- No, no.
No, this is about us.
Will you marry me? Of course I will, Ivan.
Okay.
What're we gonna do? Well, we need to weigh the pros and cons here.
Mm-hm.
We publish the book.
It potentially becomes a huge success; it launches our company; we compete with the big players; we're successful.
If no one finds out the truth.
That's a big "if.
" Or we kill it.
We put 50/50 in jeopardy; we lose everything that we've invested; we become the laughingstock of the industry.
But We maintain our integrity.
Hm I'm tough, I'm I'm a hard ass, I've doled out my share of nervous breakdowns in my career.
Mm.
But the one thing I have never done is lie.
It's like a point of honour for me.
One that is seriously being challenged right now.
I know.
Okay.
If there is no real answer and no real solution, then maybe we need to redefine the question? To what? To what're we willing to lose? With my head on straight it's so hard to wait for rain yes? 'Cause you're there for me, honey Yes.
You're there for me, honey it's been so hard it's so hard