Breeders (2020) s03e09 Episode Script

1
Misery.
Misery on steroids.
Oh, great.
Eleven, double word, so that's 22.
Oh. So how many points
are you winning by?
Not many.
How many "not many"?
What?
You're miles better than me.
Not miles. Meters, maybe.
It's these new tablets I'm taking.
You know, for me bladder issues.
- Anti-something or others.
- Anti-cholinergics.
Well, they can cause
cognitive problems, apparently.
Confusion, wooly head. Daftness.
I'm usually better than this.
When me and your gran used to
Tea?
Yes, love. Great. That would be nice.
Do you want a waffle?
- A waffle?
- I bought a waffle maker
from the shopping channel.
I can't cook, so, now your gran's gone,
I was hoping gadgets might save me.
You see them on the telly, magic things,
where you put the ingredients in one end
and food comes out the other.
- It's a bread maker?
- Yes.
I made some of that yesterday.
It was very heavy. Very dense.
Like a malt loaf married a breeze block.
Is that a chocolate fountain?
Yes. That was a definite mistake.
You get very sick of
that after a few hours
of relentless Dairy Milk.
But the waffle maker I've not tried.
Well, you'd have to make a batter
for the waffles, wouldn't you?
You see, they don't explain that to
you, the people who demonstrate
That thin woman and the
bumptious fella with the fake tan.
I thought the batter would come with it.
I can get you some ready meals.
You just put them in the
oven, no need to cook.
That is cooking, though, isn't it?
Not really, I mean
oven on, food in, wait.
Oven off, eat.
Okay.
That sounds doable. Huh.
I really appreciate this, Ava.
I know you've been having a
bit of a time of it yourself.
It helps me to help you.
There's a lot of things I can't fix.
But hopefully, I can
make things easier for you
for the time that Granny's not here.
I don't think she's
ever coming back, love.
- And I don't blame her.
- She will.
I know it. Just give her time.
- Hiya.
- Oh, hello, love.
I'll get out your way.
No, stay there.
You're not in the way.
Well, I mean, stay there if you want.
I'm not ordering you to stay there.
Right. Is pasta okay for tonight?
Oh, don't mind me. I
can just have a sandwich.
- It's no trouble, Jackie.
- Or I can just have
a few crackers or something.
- A boiled egg.
- I'm making pasta anyway,
so it would actually be more trouble
for you to have something different.
Oh. Well, thanks, love.
That would be nice.
- It's just
- Oh.
- Sorry.
- Oh.
Uh, I might go for a stroll.
Blow the cobwebs away.
Yeah, good idea.
- I'll see you later, then.
- Yeah.
- Bye.
- Mm-hmm.
Ugh. That is not fucking
clean. Fuck's sake.
You all right? Was that Mum?
Yeah. Uhh!
She's just, uh, gone for a walk.
She did that thing again with her mug
where she rinses it under the tap
and then she puts it
with the clean stuff.
I've not noticed her do that.
Well, I have. I have noticed it.
Well, she's trying
not to get in the way.
No. No, I I know,
but how she does it means
that she is absolutely, 100% in the way.
Right. Well, shall I
ask her to leave then?
Don't be so melodramatic,
Paul. Fucking hell.
It would just be nice to
know what her plans are.
I don't think she's got any.
'Cause her world has
just fallen apart, Ally.
Yeah, but ours isn't
exactly glued together.
- Mm-hmm.
- Is it?
And having a mother-in-law
sharing a bedroom
with our depressed daughter
probably isn't helping things.
Mm-hmm.
- Pasta okay for tonight?
- Yeah, wicked.
Are you cold, love?
I'm fine. I think.
I don't have the heating on
as much without Jackie here.
She feels the cold.
Heh. Likes the heating to
come on before we're awake.
I like that, too.
I'm the only who can
work out the timer, though.
It's very esoteric.
Jackie says if I die
before I explain it to her,
she'd freeze to death and join me.
Yeah.
Have you had today's pills?
Yes.
Or have I?
Oh, I don't remember.
I think so.
Or do I?
I'll check the dispenser.
Oh, thanks, sweetheart.
I'll tell you something.
This is the worst Advent
calendar I've ever been given.
Can I get you gentlemen anything else?
- Uh, no, we're good. Thanks.
- Enjoy.
- Thank you.
- So, I ordered just sashimi.
- No rice, no seaweed just raw fish.
- But it's so expensive.
I mean, what we've
ordered is madly expensive.
Oh, I got some birthday money
from my dad's girlfriend.
She feels guilty about me leaving home,
so she gave me quite a lot.
Ready to try it?
Yeah.
Mmm.
- Oh, my God.
- Heaven, isn't it?
It's amazing.
I thought it was gonna be
Well, I don't know what
I thought it was gonna be.
But it's incredible.
It's belly rather than back.
Wow.
I'm so glad we're friends again, Jacob.
Yeah, me too. Best friends.
Mm. He called us "gentlemen."
- I know.
- "Gentlemen."
Never been called that.
Sorry, I'm being a real downer.
- No, you're not.
- I am a bit.
If this was 1968, I'd be called "a drag"
and get accused of spreading bad vibes.
You're not a drag,
Darren. You're groovy.
Thanks. I shouldn't
be complaining, really.
I'm comfortable enough
spending Mother's money.
But I'm doing nothing with my life, and
being redundant isn't a great feeling.
Tell me about it. Everyone
needs to feel useful.
I'll get it.
Thanks, Luke!
I I've not been prone
to depression before now.
I'm a very positive guy.
I just get so horribly lonely
in that big, empty house.
What, is has Karen got the twins?
No. But the nanny keeps
them out of my way.
Right.
That son of yours is
very handsome, Ally.
- Hello, Darren.
- Hiya.
You're very handsome, too.
Oh. Thank you.
Um, sorry. Your the cake tins are
all in here with some other stuff.
Marvelous. We're having a big
party on Friday for Alex's 65th.
The "bus pass" one.
- I've said I'd bake.
- Which is virtually unheard of.
I used to be quite good,
when I could be bothered.
But men like it, don't they?
Little woman in the kitchen,
- all that shit.
- Is Alex retiring?
Oh, no. He wants to keep working
so he doesn't want to feel
like a directionless spare prick.
Anyway, we've got a load
of people coming on Friday.
Alex has invited every waif, stray,
and mere acquaintance on Earth.
Actually, would you
like to come, Darren?
Oh, delighted. I love a party.
Splendid.
Can you give me a hand with that box?
- Oh, one sec.
- Yes, of course.
- The final cake tin.
- Oh, Ally
I invited both Jackie and Jim.
I mean, I just didn't
know what to do after
No, Mum. No one really knows what to do.
Anyway, thanks.
- Thank you, Darren.
- Yes, of course.
I'll be back.
You should talk to her, your friend.
Go and see her.
Grace doesn't want to see me.
But she means so much to you, love.
You can't just let it go.
I know.
I can't really bear
not being her friend.
That's why I desperately wanted
to go to the same school as her
why I deliberately failed the exam.
'Cause I thought she'd fail.
And is that why she won't talk to you?
She completely blanks me if I see her.
It's like I don't exist.
Have you talked to that lovely
vicar about it at your church?
I haven't been to
church for a week or so.
I'm angry at Jesus.
Oh don't be angry with Jesus, Ava.
He's Jesus.
I've been good, Granny. I've
I've sacrificed my
future for love, and
love's supposed to be
everything, isn't it?
In the New Testament, yeah.
The Old is frogs falling out of the sky
and being ordered to stab your own kids.
But I've done everything right.
And I'm miserable.
And my dad hates me,
and I feel like
everything's going wrong.
Why hasn't Jesus saved me?
Your dad doesn't hate you, Ava.
He was just angry about the exam.
Your dad loves you.
And not presuming to speak for him,
but I think Jesus does, too.
Thanks, Granny.
We should get some sleep.
Yeah. Night.
Night-night.
How's Jim?
Okay ish.
Missing you.
Right.
Sleep tight, love.
And you.
So Ava will come again tomorrow
to sort your pills out and stuff.
And she'll be bringing
some ready meals, okay?
She told me about
the chocolate fountain.
- She's a lifesaver, that girl.
- Mm.
- I'm not sure what I'd do without her.
- It's Alex's party tonight.
Do you reckon you might
wanna go to that?
Oh, I don't know.
- Your mum's invited, isn't she?
- Yeah, of course.
Well, I don't want to
risk bumping into her.
Okay, well, see how you feel
later, but I think it might be
a good place for you
to see each other again.
You know, in a crowd.
Ah, maybe.
So what are you up to at the minute?
Uh, this precise minute,
I'm waiting for Luke.
His band's auditioning singers.
Is he gonna be a pop star then?
Pop star, yeah. Uh, maybe.
He can use his millions to
keep you in your old age.
Well, that can start as soon
as he fuckin' likes, yeah.
Statuette on the conso-ole ♪
Never know just how to give control ♪
Statuette on the conso-ole ♪
- Great.
- That was really good. Thanks, Mia.
- Thank you.
- Uh, we'll let you know
when we've had a band discussion.
Okay. Cool.
- I think we found our singer.
- She's good.
Just one more to see.
I'll go get her.
- Great playing, Luke.
- Really?
I hope I'm improving.
So, how you feeling today, Dad?
Okay.
Yeah? Really?
Yeah. Not bad.
But don't you worry about me, son.
You've got enough on your plate.
Yeah, but I do worry, though, Dad.
About you and Mum a-and me, frankly,
'cause this rock has disappeared.
I had this certainty in my life:
you two together.
Which is suddenly gone.
And that feels weird.
I know. It's all gone skew-whiff.
But there'll be a way out.
A way through, you mean.
Yes, a way through. There's
always a way through.
Living life with my platitudes ♪
Statuette on the console ♪
Statuette on the conso-ole ♪
I never know just how to get control ♪
Statuette on the conso-ole ♪
You obviously know how good you are.
We would really like
you in the band, Ruby.
- If you want to be.
- I'd love to be.
- Then you are.
- Great!
Great. So when's the next rehearsal?
- We start Monday. Next week.
- Okay.
- See you then.
- Okay. Bye.
Bye.
Hi, mate.
You all right, Luke?
Fuckin' dumbstruck.
- Hello.
- Hello. Oi.
- Was that Ruby?
- Yeah, she's going to be
- on our new singer.
- Hey! That's great news. She good then?
- Oh, my God, Dad, she's amazing.
- Ah.
She has the most incredible voice.
That's brilliant. I'm pleased for you.
Fuck.
Sorry, I I just had a thought.
Jacob's gonna hate this. He'll hate me.
I've just gotten carried
away. I didn't think.
Jacob needs to grow up, mate.
I mean, I know he acts
like he's 45 anyway,
but emotionally, he's gotta grow up.
He can't control who else
you're friends with, Luke.
You've gotta talk it through with
Jacob, get it straight between you.
- I just won't tell him.
- Or that.
That's another option, yeah.
Oh, yes, darling. Have this, right.
Thanks again for the lift.
Difficult to walk into
a party on your own.
You wouldn't think it,
but I'm actually very, very shy.
No, I wouldn't think it.
Don't worry, Darren. You can
always stick with us until
- Hi. Darren.
- Oh, wow.
Couldn't help noticing you've got
a scarf on indoors
well done that, man.
- I've got a sore throat.
- No, no, no. No explanation necessary.
That is a legitimate fashion statement.
- Uh, Merino wool?
- Cashmere.
Ha! Checkmate. Oh.
Bit of fizz. Love it.
So, what do you do?
- For a living. Not everything you do.
- Oh, well
- Where's the champagne?
- Um, why don't you go that way,
- I'll go this way, and yeah.
- Like Scooby-Doo.
- Hello, stranger.
- Hey! Ha ha!
You know, I wasn't sure
if you'd be here tonight.
Oh, right.
So you didn't think
Alex would invite me?
No, no. I no.
- I'm just saying
- I'm toying with you.
- Like a cat.
- Thanks.
I mean, I'm I'm the cat.
I mean, if I were toying
with a cat, I'd need to be,
well, I don't know,
a pit bull or something.
Which would be weird.
So, how are you? You are
looking really well.
Fine. Good. Fine and good.
- Great.
- And you are you fine and good?
Yeah. Yeah, well,
maybe not completely
fine and good, but, um
Yeah. But better for seeing you.
So, are things all
improved with your son?
- Yes, yes. Yeah.
- Mm.
- Uh yeah. Things are a lot better.
- Yeah.
Thank you, we're in a much healthier
place. Thank you for remembering.
- Good.
- Thanks. Ah, thank you. Thank you.
Thank you, thank you.
Thank you, thank you.
Oh, that's a shame.
They were scared of
bumping into each other,
so neither of them
are gonna come tonight.
50 years married
Just goes to show,
you can't take anything for granted.
Mm.
- Who's that?
- That's Gabby,
our lovely neighbor.
She and Paul really hit it
off when he stayed at mine.
These cheese scones
that your mother made.
They're really out
of this world, Ally.
- "Hit it off"?
- As friends. Nothing inappropriate.
- Yeah, of course.
- I thought Paul
would have mentioned it.
I mean, they just went to the cinema.
I think it's the mustard
powder that, uh
gives it a a real kick.
No, actually, no, he
I think he probably did mention
going to the cinema,
now that Now that I think of it.
It was just a very hectic time.
See you.
What?
That's the last time
I make fucking scones.
So we have a white female. She's
This fella here was in that
And she matches the description
of the woman that has gone missing.
Oh, I know that actor.
Can't think what from, though.
Ah, Jim would know.
- I even looked him up online.
- No, you did not.
Oh, yes, I did. Three different sites.
I kid you not. And I'm
still none the fuckin' wiser.
- Hi!
- Hi. Hey. Thank you.
- Hi.
- How lovely.
- Sorry, would you
- No, no, I'm fine. Thank you very much.
Hi, I'm I'm Ally.
Sorry. Ally, Gabby. Gabby, Ally.
So, do you do you two know
each other, or you just
No, no, w-we met when I was staying
at your mum's, when Luke was
- Yeah, no, I remember that.
- Yeah, his thing, you know, yah.
Yeah, our recycling
cycles, uh, went in sync,
so we used to see each
other by the bins.
- Right.
- Yeah. Bin buddies, yeah.
- Bin buddies.
- Bin buddies. Wow.
Wow. There are so many
interesting people here.
I mean, I've already been
asked to join a community choir,
and I haven't sung since college.
I was a tenor, would you believe?
New face. Hello. I'm Darren.
- Gabby.
- Great name.
Well done. Heh.
How's the shyness going, Darren?
Oh, doesn't last very long.
I've been burying all my
feelings since prep school.
Very handy training. Brutal, but, uh
Does the business.
You don't have a drink.
Um, there's the lady
Woman, sorry With the champagne.
- Let's go and mug her.
- Um
- Watch your step.
- Yeah.
- Ah, man.
- Having fun?
Yeah. Yeah, it's all
right, innit? Thanks, yeah.
She's cool, actually. She's good.
Hey. Want a cup of tea?
- Uh, no. I'm fine.
- Not herbal?
No, I'm fine. Thanks.
Gabby seemed nice.
Uh, yeah. She is. She is nice, yes.
Mum said that you and Gabby
went to the cinema together.
Yeah. Uh, actually, we
bumped into each other,
and then after lunch
Oh, you went to lunch with her?
No. No. I mean, not with her.
I was with her, but we
weren't with each other.
I see. Right, yeah. And was it
- Was it just the one lunch?
- Yeah. No. Sorry, no.
Uh, I did go to another
lunch with her at her place.
- Her sister was there.
- And was her sister
at the other lunch or
- at the cinema?
- No. Come
Ally, you're making this
out to be like some weird
thing or an affair or
something. We just
No, we just got on, you
know, as as mates.
We had a lunch. Couple of lunches.
And saw a film, one
film. And the adverts.
- Can you hear yourself?
- What do you mean?
This is precisely what your dad did.
- It is.
- No, it's Don't be daft!
And that is exactly what he said
to you. The very, very words.
- This is totally different.
- Why didn't you tell me about it?
Because I just, I
I didn't think it was important.
What, you going on a date with
another woman isn't important?
- It wasn't a date.
- Really?
No. Well, it We just We just
Sorry to disturb.
Just wanted to get me
book for the morning.
Did you have a nice night?
Oh, quiet, heh.
- Nice party?
- Yeah.
Yeah. Do you want tea, Mum?
Uh, no, I'm fine. Thanks, love.
Just needed me book.
I'm waking up very early,
and reading's better than thinking.
Hmm.
- Night.
- Night, Jackie.
Night, Mum.
- Night.
- Love you.
Right. I'm gonna get to bed.
Really? You don't wanna talk about this?
- You should call your dad.
- Well, it's a bit late now.
- I'll call him in the morning.
- Okay.
Okay
That's mental. It's
You've heard about air frying
Fuck off with your fuckin' air fryer!
You don't fool me!
You can't fry food with air, you pricks.
The details are coming up
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Great cooking, healthier cooking.
- "Friday."
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And, of course, we're gonna see
loads more from Jack in just moments.
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