Bunk'd (2015) s03e09 Episode Script

1 I thought we were going to make macaroni pictures.
We were, till someone ate all the macaroni.
And the paper.
It was grape colored! I had no choice.
Yes, yes, you did Guess what I just found out? No, but thank you for sparing me a potentially embarrassing incident.
This year is Lou's tenth anniversary at Camp Kikiwaka! Cool! We gotta throw her a surprise party.
I say we decorate with glitter.
Including my bandage when I sprained my ankle.
And it made you feel better.
No, all it did was make my leg sparkly.
Well, it made me feel better.
Okay, now remember, no one say anything.
About what? Perfect.
What's perfect? Good, keep that up.
Keep what up? Can somebody tell me what's going on? Well, our secret is safe with him.
All: Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka (Lively music playing) I can't wait to see Lou's face when we fix up this truck and give it to her for her anniversary party.
She does love this old thing.
It reminds her of her ex-boyfriend.
Why? Because he also smelled like gas and didn't work.
Do either of you even know how to fix up a truck? Sure! Back on the farm, I'm the "fix it" guy.
I'm also the "break it" guy, so it kinda works out well.
And while Finn is working his mechanical magic, I'm going to use my sewing skills on the seat covers to get this car looking fab.
Well, I brought my first aid kit, because I just know someone is going to end up getting hurt.
Oh, we'll be fine.
Ouch! See? I told you! Okay, the kids are fixing up the truck for Lou, so we're on party detail.
Here are some ideas I had.
Nach loon stream? What is these? Some weird band? It's not a band.
That says nachos, balloons, and streamers.
It's my shorthand.
Well, that's a time saver.
Oh, besides all this, Lou loves roasting s'mores by a bonfire.
Oh, let's do that! Okay.
Lou.
Fire.
Lou is going to be so surprised! Surprised about what? That Zuri is learning Dutch! Yup Yumpin' yimminy I do love Stroopwafel! That's also my favorite member of the waffle family! What'cha writing down there? Nothing! But I saw No, you heard the woman! Nothing! Hey, Lou, Why don't you go file down the points on the lawn darts? Oh, great idea! They're in the equipment shed.
Except for the one that's still stuck in Bad Luck Billy's bicep.
That poor kid really lives up to his nickname.
Can't I do something else? I've been polishing this mirror for half an hour.
It's the one job where you won't get hurt.
Ugh! The sun reflected in my eyes! Hey! Get out of here, you pesky badgers! We're not badgers, we're kids! Oh, my mistake.
Two kids, one badger.
I'm a kid, too! Don't back-sass me, badger.
Can we help you, sir? Don't need any help.
My name is Gerald Barker, grew up 'round these parts, been away for a long time.
Everything's different now.
Used to be forest, as far as the eye could see.
It Still is.
So it is.
That explains why it smells like a giant air freshener out here.
Why are you kids taking apart this truck? We're just fixing it up as a present for my cousin.
Well, be sure to tell your cousin that this truck's original owner was a ruffian, a hooligan, a man of ill repute! Wait, slow down.
A ruffle chip, a hula hoop I think he's saying he was a bad guy.
He was a gangster! Babyface Munson! Back in the 1930s, his gang used this truck on their crime sprees.
They were known as the Peanut Brittle Bunch Because they would snap people's bones like they were peanut brittle? No.
Because they would knock over banks and peanut brittle shops.
Was there a lot of money in stealing peanut brittle? No, it's just a super tasty treat.
Anyway, the story of Babyface Munson is amazing.
I'm sure it is, but we really need to get back to work.
We have to fix up this truck in time for our friend's party.
So, I guess we can't hear your story.
Oh, you wanna hear my story? That's not what I said at all.
This is how that truck was used in the biggest bank robbery ever in Moose Rump How many bank robberies have there been n Moose Rump? One! GERALD: It was a perfect day for the perfect crime.
Babyface, his main squeeze, Molly, and his right-hand man, Clive, were getting ready to rob the Moose Rump Savings and Loan.
Okay, you mugs, let's knock over this here bank.
But remember to wear gloves.
So we don't leave fingerprints, right, Clive? No.
Banks are full of germs.
I don't want us to get sick.
You don't know where that money's been.
Well, I know where it's gonna go! I'm gonna spend some of mine to go see the talkies.
Eh, those talking pictures are just a fad.
Yeah, everybody knows the best part of the picture show is reading what they say.
Here, take these.
Whoa! These are doozies! If the G-men show up, they'll be sorry they were ever born! Hey! Mine's empty.
So, I got thirsty.
What? It's important to stay hydrated.
Why did you hire him? 'Cause he's got a car! Have you ever heard the term "getaway bike"? Now, let's do this! It was the heist of a lifetime.
And it all went like clockwork It was only in the getaway that things began to unravel.
Okay, I figured out what we need to fix the engine A new engine.
I can't believe he's been in there for 30 minutes and he just figured that out.
I can.
Have you ever seen him try to write his full name? Mr.
Barker, can I be honest? I have a hard time believing you really knew gangsters from the '30s.
You're pretty skeptical for a talking badger.
I am not a badger! No offense, sir, but old people tend to exaggerate.
My great-grandfather claims he invented the pancake.
Okay, smarty-pantses.
If these are the ravings of an old man, how would I know there's a bullet hole in the right side of the rear bumper? He's right! There is a bullet hole here! So, your story is true.
Cool! Wait a minute.
How do we know he didn't just see that hole? With his eyesight? He still thinks you're a badger.
Honestly, that could be a smell thing.
Why do we have to meet Ravi in the Grizzly Cabin to go over Lou's party? Because we can't take a chance on Lou hearing.
Hearing what? That Zuri's Dutch lessons are going great! Ja! (In Dutch accent) Do you like my vindmill? And my vooden shoes? Dial it back, Bjorn.
Well, I have some news.
Bad Luck Billy is gone.
He died? He already paid for the summer, right? He's not dead! His cabin took a trip to town.
And I finished filing the dart tips.
Well, now that they're dull, could you sharpen them again? Okay.
That was close.
I know, we really need to be more careful.
Okay, we sent Lou off so we can talk.
And I told Mrs.
Kipling to go have a swim.
She cannot keep a secret.
And yet, for three years we thought she was a dude.
So, for Lou's anniversary, I am going to bake a cake that is moist like the summer dew.
Light like a butterfly's wing Just make it chocolate.
With nuts.
I love nuts.
Peasants.
But to achieve this, we need to purchase a new stove.
It is the last appliance we need to upgrade.
I am afraid old Betsy is past her prime.
Oops! I didn't wash off all the blood.
I'll just tell people it's rust.
"Lou.
Fire.
" Fire Lou? Zuri: Let's face it, she's been here a long time and just doesn't fit in with the new Camp Kikiwaka.
Ravi: True.
She has served the camp well, but it is time for her to go.
Say, "aye" if you agree that it's time to get rid of her.
All: Aye! I can't believe they're gonna fire me.
Lou: (Thinking) Dear mom, this is the first time I've ever said this, but I'm not having fun at camp.
It turns out the people I thought were my closest friends are getting rid of me faster than a cow with no udders.
The sun might be shining bright in the sky, but my heart is a cold dark place filled with sorrow.
Smooches.
Smiley face.
Smiley face.
Your Lou Lou.
P.
S.
In the future, I could send you an email if you ever change your mind about computers being "the devil's boxes.
" P.
P.
S.
I'll let you know if things get better But I don't think they will.
So, did they end up actually robbing the place? And how'd the car get stuck in the woods? Did they brush their teeth after eating all that peanut brittle? Who cares? Dental hygiene is very important! I guess old people can tell a good story, eh? (Alarm ringing) Hurry! Get this jalopy moving! We've got some hot loot and a fistful of lollipops.
I stole some from the "please take one" bowl.
Just making sure the mirrors are right.
And please put on your seatbelts.
The dame said now! Can you give me a chance to turn on my blinker? I could get a ticket.
You're gonna get a shiner if you don't step on it! I can't drive when I'm stressed.
This guy's more annoying than a run in my stocking.
Okay, okay.
Next time we'll take our bikes.
And then what? (Snoring) Gerald? I can't believe he fell asleep sitting up.
One time, my great-grandfather fell asleep while walking.
We didn't realize it until he fell off the pier.
(Gasps) Give me back my teeth! We don't have your teeth, but can you hurry up and tell us the rest of the story? And make it fast, because we have to get this truck ready for our friend Lou's anniversary party.
(SIGHS) I haven't done anything fast since I had two good hips.
GERALD: The coppers were on their tail, so Babyface told Clive to drive into these here woods.
But the engine gave out.
So they were done for.
She blew a gasket.
I'm about to blow a gasket if you can't get this heap running! (Siren blaring) It's the coppers! We gotta skedaddle! I can't get caught! If my mom finds out, I'll get in a lot of trouble.
Like, no radio for a month trouble.
We gotta make a break for it.
(Sirens approaching) (Grunting) I'm stuck in the seat belt! Help! Sorry, but Johnny Law is hot on our tracks! Molly, you can't leave me! You said I was the bee's knees! You are, honey, but I'm buzzin' off.
Me too.
But we'll visit you in the big house.
Or you could help me out of here! Fine! I hope you chip a tooth on that peanut brittle! Molly and Clive just left Babyface behind? Whatever happened to him? Babyface? Well, he went to jail for a long, long time.
But he just got out, and he wants the money from that heist! How do you know? Because I'm Babyface Munson! You're Babyface? More like Wrinkleface.
But you said your last name was Barker! You lied to us! Ooh, I lied.
I'm a hardened criminal! What do you expect? I've got to get my money! Where is it? I left it under the seat.
Wait a minute You've already found it! Now, give it back! We didn't find any money in the truck.
Also, why'd you bother telling us that whole story? I like a good story.
But enough dilly-dallying.
This suitcase is loaded with dynamite.
Now, hand over my money, or I'll blow us all into the next century! Cool! Time travel! Not what he meant! I cannot believe Emma, Ravi, and Zuri would turn on me like this.
After all I've done for them, they toss me aside like a dirty diaper? Well, you know what? I'm not going to take this sitting down.
I'll show them! Thank you for listening, Layla.
(Air hisses) (Screams) I love our new stove.
The CookMaster is self-cleaning, can roast an entire turkey in twenty minutes, and it is super shiny! It's just a stove.
Just a stove? Would you call the Large Hadron Collider "just" a magnet? Honestly, I have no idea.
Either way, make sure Lou's cake for her anniversary is amazing.
Oh, hey, Lou.
Where's Woody going? And what exactly did he pack? I'm the one who's leaving.
I quit.
What? What are you talking about? Why would you quit? You know why! Lou, wait! Tell me what's wrong.
There's nothing to say.
But I do I don't want to hear it.
Come, Woody.
No, Woody, don't look back.
What just happened? Were you not paying attention? Lou just quit.
This is really gonna put a damper on her anniversary party.
I cannot believe Lou quit.
Luke! What did you do? Excuse me? Oh, sorry.
Force of habit.
Why in the gods would she leave us? We have to go after her! All in favor, say "aye.
" Aye.
We don't know where the money is.
We don't know anything.
Finn barely even knows how to tie his own shoes.
It's true.
Even loafers kind of confuse me.
Guys, what are you doing out here? And why are you hanging out with the world's oldest traveling salesman? Whoever you are, not a good start.
He's an old bank robber.
What? And he thinks we stole the money he hid inside that truck.
I'll take care of this.
Look, sir, I know these kids, and when they say they don't have your money, they don't.
So if you'll excuse us, we'll be on our way.
He's also got a suitcase filled with dynamite.
Next time lead with that! When I called you "old," I meant wise.
Quiet! I don't have all day, I have a bingo game at seven.
So if you don't give me back my money, you're all goners! Oh, my gosh! That old man is holding them captive! What should we do? Good idea, Ravi, go get help.
Yes That is exactly what I was doing.
Zuri: So, what's the plan? The plan is To think of a plan.
That's all you've got? Maybe you should have gone for help and Ravi should have stayed.
You know, you're a very critical person.
Hello! I can hear you.
I may be old, but the batteries in my hearing aid are new! Now, get out here! What are we gonna do now? Wait it out.
He's old, he'll have to use the bathroom sometime Or die.
Again with the great plans.
It's been hours.
I can't believe he still hasn't gone to the bathroom.
Who says I haven't? At least I'm not the only one For the last time, you and your friends better tell me where the money is! They are not my friends.
What? Of course we are.
Lou, what is going on? Why did you quit? I quit because I heard you talking about how you were going to fire me! That's nuts! We would never fire you.
But I heard you talking about how I've been here a long time, and I just don't fit in anymore, even though I served the camp well Oh, we were talking about the old stove, not you.
But I saw your pad that said, "Fire.
Lou.
" That's because we were planning a special bonfire for your anniversary.
To show how much we appreciate you.
Really? Of course! You mean the world to us.
We could never imagine Camp Kikiwaka without you.
Yeah, you are Camp Kikiwaka.
Not to mention my bestie.
And we were fixing up the truck as a present for you.
You guys were doing all that for me? Yes.
To show how much we love you.
Aw, I love you guys too.
(Sniffles) What's the matter, Babyface? Did you just realize you missed the whole disco craze? No, I'm just so darn touched by how much you all care for each other.
Not like my two no-good partners, Molly Malaney, and Clive Redding.
Wait, I've heard those names before.
They ran off and left me alone to rot in jail.
Then I never heard from them again.
(Stammers) Not even a post card, which would have been nice.
Wait a minute.
They are the richest people in Moose Rump.
Or they were until Emma, Ravi, and Zuri showed up.
After the police took you away, they must have come back to the truck and taken the money! I can't believe it! Eh, if you can't trust two crooks, who can you trust? I got the loot! Woo-hoo! We're going to be richer than one of those Rockefellers! Think of all the peanut brittle we can buy with this dough-ray-me! But what if Babyface finds out we took it? He'll come after us when he gets out of the hoosegow.
Don't worry, dollface.
My cousin is his lawyer.
He's so bad, his last client got the chair for jaywalking.
(Gasps) The time-out chair? Yeah.
Those crooks! They stole the money that I helped them steal.
I can't believe they did that to me.
Hey! I've got the dynamite! Well, get rid of it! Don't give it to me! (Screams) Fake leather! (All scream) Are we dead? Cool, I'm a ghost! Watch me run through this car! (Grunts) Peanut brittle? You told us it was dynamite! You lied again! What don't you get about "hardened criminal"? We've been terrified of a suitcase full of candy? Well, you better finish that candy now, mister, because my brother is bringing the police, and they're going to take you back to prison! Well (Sighs) I guess it's all for the best.
I've got nothing out here anyway.
No family, no friends We could be your friends.
Thank you, kids, but you don't want to end up like me.
I made a big mistake when I was younger and I've been paying for it my whole life.
And now, I guess I'm going back to the big house.
Emma, Lou, please don't send Mr.
Munson back to prison.
Yeah, he's really a sweet guy.
And, cousin Lou, doesn't he remind you of our great grandpa, Festus? Kind of.
If he had a wooden leg and smelled like cat litter.
Can we please keep him? Okay.
Yay! Awesome.
Thank you.
But, sir, please, no more threatening people with a briefcase full of candy.
I promise.
Thanks.
You know, I don't have any great-grandkids of my own, but if I did I'd want them to be just like you.
Come on, guys, I hear we've got a party to get back for.
Do you want to join us, Mr.
Munson? Sure.
I'll bring dessert.
There he is, officers Huh? I swear, there was a dangerous criminal here.
He's about 5'2", a hundred years old, looked kind of like a cranky hobbit Um (Chuckles) Peanut brittle anyone? (Coughs) How old is this? Cousin Lou, here's your present.
Aw! I love it.
Turns out fixing up a real truck is harder than it looks.
But with this you'll save big on gas.
Thank you all so much.
It's perfect! Thank you again for inviting me.
You're welcome.
Lou, I'm surprised you didn't suspect we were throwing you a party, since this is your tenth year at Camp Kikiwaka.
And that is a big deal.
Actually, it was an even bigger deal two years ago, on my real tenth anniversary of being at camp.
Oops.
Who wants more cake? Last time I had cake, there was a nail file in it.
That must have been painful.
Tell me about it.
I found out the hard way.
Well, I'm just glad you are out of prison and have changed your ways.
So am I.
(Thuds) Is that my brand-new toaster? How could you? You people just don't get the whole criminal thing, do you?