Cow and Chicken (1997) s03e09 Episode Script
Me An' My Dog
1
Mama had a chicken. ♪
Mama had a cow. ♪
Dad was proud, he didn't care how. ♪
Cow! ♪
Chicken! ♪
Cow and Chicken! ♪
Come on!
Oh, almost there!
It's okay.
Mom?
Look at what followed me home!
What is it, Cow?
I would like you to meet
the cutest whittle doggie
in the whole wide world!
Where is he, dear?
Right here!
Oh, he's cute fuzzy brown
with spotted big floppy ears.
And what is my darling four-hundred
and sixty pound daughter talking about?
Oh, my new dog, Kevin.
Can I keep him, please?
Oh, I see.
Looks like our Cow has gone insane.
Oh, no, Dad.
She's got an imaginary dog.
Oh, there ain't nothin' there!
All right, Cow. You can keep the doggie.
Oh, thank you, Mom and Dad.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
This is stupid!
It is not stupid. You are just jealous.
Jealous?
Yes. You are jealous
because you do not have a pet.
Neither do yous. This is idiotic.
Oh, Chicken! Look out!
Kevin is not paper trained as yet.
All righty, Kevin!
I will take you into my classroom.
But you must promise
to be a good whittle doggie and shut up!
Today's spelling word!
Shut yer traps!
Any questions?
Oh, doggie! Oh, you are such a licker!
Cow! Just what have you got in the bag?
What do you mean?
I do not got no dog in the bag.
He got away!
Come back, Kevin!
Sweet bald-headed grandma!
There's a dog in here!
Cow!
You know there's no animals
allowed in this classroom!
Roll over!
Bad dog, Kevin!
All right, Cow!
For bringin' a dog to school,
your brother's got to do double homework!
Sorry.
All done, Kevin?
Good boy!
Lookie! A dog show!
Now everyone will see how terrific you are!
Next?
I would like to enter my doggie
into the competition, please!
Is he a pure breed?
Oh, yes! See?
Oh, doggie!
You are such an affectionate whittle doggie!
All entries come forward.
Begin!
Roll over!
Good boy!
Shake!
Well, I guess that was perfect.
No flaws that I could see.
Come on!
Jump through the flaming hoop, Donald!
Okay. Looks like Cow's dog is the winner!
Hooray!
You mean that
stupid invisible dog won First Place?
Oh, yes, Big Brother!
But there is a problem.
Yeah. There's no dog.
Well, since being around
all these other dogs,
Kevin has gotten fleas!
Oh, poor Kevin is scratching right now!
Help him!
Oh, he's gonna die from fleas!
If he has got fleas, get him a flea collar.
Oh, please!
Go to the store
and get my doggie a flea collar!
I would like a flea collar, please.
What kind of dog?
A invisible dog.
You'll need one of these
special invisible dog flea collars.
Only ten bucks!
Will you take a invisible ten dollar bill?
Ten bucks! Take it or leave it.
Hey, Cow,
I got your stupid flea collar here.
Come on, take it!
Cow, what's the matter?
Did I step in Kevin's poo-poo again?
My dog ran away!
Okay, Cow, I'll help yous find Kevin.
Just stop blubberin' like an idiot.
Oh, thank you for helping me
find my doggie, Big Brother.
Yeah, whatever.
Doggie? Doggie, where are you?
I think Kevin really is gone, Cow.
I will find my doggie
no matter how many years it takes!
Cow's been gone two years now.
Oh, she'll show up, Mama
when she gets hungry.
Well! Look what the cat dragged in!
It's our daughter!
Did you find your imaginary dog,
Sweetheart?
Oh, yes I did.
But I did not bring him home.
No. I left him at the park.
There was this lonely,
broke and imaginary man there,
and he did not have no dog.
He found Kevin and they became friends.
I couldn't bear to break them up!
So, I left my doggie with this man.
Cow, you is stupidier than yous looks.
Hello!
I'm the Imaginary Man from the park.
Imaginary Kevin had pups
and I wanted to give Cow's family
the pick of the imaginary litter!
You know, the weird part
isn't the imaginary pups.
What freaks me out
is that Kevin's a boy dog.
Mama had a chicken. ♪
Mama had a cow. ♪
Dad was proud, he didn't care how. ♪
Cow! ♪
Chicken! ♪
Cow and Chicken! ♪
Come on!
Oh, almost there!
It's okay.
Mom?
Look at what followed me home!
What is it, Cow?
I would like you to meet
the cutest whittle doggie
in the whole wide world!
Where is he, dear?
Right here!
Oh, he's cute fuzzy brown
with spotted big floppy ears.
And what is my darling four-hundred
and sixty pound daughter talking about?
Oh, my new dog, Kevin.
Can I keep him, please?
Oh, I see.
Looks like our Cow has gone insane.
Oh, no, Dad.
She's got an imaginary dog.
Oh, there ain't nothin' there!
All right, Cow. You can keep the doggie.
Oh, thank you, Mom and Dad.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
This is stupid!
It is not stupid. You are just jealous.
Jealous?
Yes. You are jealous
because you do not have a pet.
Neither do yous. This is idiotic.
Oh, Chicken! Look out!
Kevin is not paper trained as yet.
All righty, Kevin!
I will take you into my classroom.
But you must promise
to be a good whittle doggie and shut up!
Today's spelling word!
Shut yer traps!
Any questions?
Oh, doggie! Oh, you are such a licker!
Cow! Just what have you got in the bag?
What do you mean?
I do not got no dog in the bag.
He got away!
Come back, Kevin!
Sweet bald-headed grandma!
There's a dog in here!
Cow!
You know there's no animals
allowed in this classroom!
Roll over!
Bad dog, Kevin!
All right, Cow!
For bringin' a dog to school,
your brother's got to do double homework!
Sorry.
All done, Kevin?
Good boy!
Lookie! A dog show!
Now everyone will see how terrific you are!
Next?
I would like to enter my doggie
into the competition, please!
Is he a pure breed?
Oh, yes! See?
Oh, doggie!
You are such an affectionate whittle doggie!
All entries come forward.
Begin!
Roll over!
Good boy!
Shake!
Well, I guess that was perfect.
No flaws that I could see.
Come on!
Jump through the flaming hoop, Donald!
Okay. Looks like Cow's dog is the winner!
Hooray!
You mean that
stupid invisible dog won First Place?
Oh, yes, Big Brother!
But there is a problem.
Yeah. There's no dog.
Well, since being around
all these other dogs,
Kevin has gotten fleas!
Oh, poor Kevin is scratching right now!
Help him!
Oh, he's gonna die from fleas!
If he has got fleas, get him a flea collar.
Oh, please!
Go to the store
and get my doggie a flea collar!
I would like a flea collar, please.
What kind of dog?
A invisible dog.
You'll need one of these
special invisible dog flea collars.
Only ten bucks!
Will you take a invisible ten dollar bill?
Ten bucks! Take it or leave it.
Hey, Cow,
I got your stupid flea collar here.
Come on, take it!
Cow, what's the matter?
Did I step in Kevin's poo-poo again?
My dog ran away!
Okay, Cow, I'll help yous find Kevin.
Just stop blubberin' like an idiot.
Oh, thank you for helping me
find my doggie, Big Brother.
Yeah, whatever.
Doggie? Doggie, where are you?
I think Kevin really is gone, Cow.
I will find my doggie
no matter how many years it takes!
Cow's been gone two years now.
Oh, she'll show up, Mama
when she gets hungry.
Well! Look what the cat dragged in!
It's our daughter!
Did you find your imaginary dog,
Sweetheart?
Oh, yes I did.
But I did not bring him home.
No. I left him at the park.
There was this lonely,
broke and imaginary man there,
and he did not have no dog.
He found Kevin and they became friends.
I couldn't bear to break them up!
So, I left my doggie with this man.
Cow, you is stupidier than yous looks.
Hello!
I'm the Imaginary Man from the park.
Imaginary Kevin had pups
and I wanted to give Cow's family
the pick of the imaginary litter!
You know, the weird part
isn't the imaginary pups.
What freaks me out
is that Kevin's a boy dog.