Dawn of the Croods (2015) s03e09 Episode Script

1 Bom-bom, bom-ba-dum Ma-ma-ma-bom-ba-dum Ba-da-dum [music playing.]
[distorted shouts.]
[distorted screech.]
[both scream.]
Thunk, you've been told a thousand times, do not pet strange animals! But who can resist that cute face? I mean, look at it.
[screeches.]
Okay, okay, so he's got anger issues, but I can win him over, can't I, boy? [grunts.]
[both grunt.]
Whew! Thanks for the save.
That thing almost tore us to shreds.
Actually, I think we can take him.
[both scream.]
[grunting.]
Hey, Broods, any chance you've captured us for, I don't know, a fun reason? [gasps.]
Perhaps a sing-along? Well, first off, that's adorable.
And second, no.
No chance at all.
I have a full shrub.
[all groan.]
[Eep.]
You have no chance at all, because once our parents hear about this Oh, they've heard.
We made sure of it.
Kids, where are? Oh, hey, a note.
Good news, Ugga.
The kids are safe.
As long as we hand over 5,000 smash fruits by sunrise, or else we'll never see them again, so Wait.
Who wrote this? [scoffs.]
They'll never pay you.
Sure they will, or we'll throw you in a bottomless pit.
Honestly, we'll probably do it either way, so [all laugh.]
I'm gonna get us out of here, Thunk.
So don't worry.
Thunk? [grunts.]
Ooh! [laughs.]
It's a story.
Oh, it's about a young gatherer who always liked to Aw! Until one day, she crossed paths with an evil [gasps.]
Oh! So using all her courage, she Yay! Oh, and she lived happily ever after.
Oh, it's so beautiful.
It's like whoever made this was speaking right to my innermost Thunk.
Hey, get out of there! That's private, you tailless weirdo.
You mean, you made that? You're a storyteller too? We have so much in common.
Now that I've found you, all I wanna do is [disco music plays.]
Oh, Thunk.
Your lack of upper body strength is just an indication of your sensitivity.
What is this feeling? Could it be? Quick, favorite food, favorite color, favorite sound? Go! - What? - Just answer.
[both.]
Anything but chickuna.
- Rainbow color, and - Rainbow color, and - [both make farting noise.]
- [gasps.]
My perfect match.
So it's true.
I've fallen madly in like.
- Ew! - [grunts.]
I feel like I'm covered in Croodies.
Ew! She's beautiful when she's revolted, don't you think? Thunk, what are you thinking? You can't like Blurg.
She wants to throw us in a pit! True, she does tend to want us dead, but I can win her over, Eep, I know it.
- Isn't that right, my dear? - [groans.]
Stop that! [Grug.]
Let's face it, Valleyites.
Even if we could meet the Broods' demands, they still might not return Eep and Thunk.
We need to rescue them.
And to do that, we need the Ahhh! Team.
[kisses.]
[Grug.]
The wife.
[screeches.]
The sharp shooter.
The strong guy.
[Womp shouts.]
Yay! The other strong guy.
And me, Brainy McGee.
You don't wanna leave out the valley's smartest caveman.
Uh, yes, I do, Snoot, because we need muscle to rescue my kids.
Please? I have snacks.
Hmm All right.
But no slowing us down with any ideas, all right? Now let's find the Broods' hideout.
To the wilderness! Yeah! The wilderness is this way.
Fine, you get one idea.
[grumbles.]
Great lunch, Blurg.
These sticks you gathered are to die for.
I guess my diet starts tomorrow.
[crunches.]
Cut that out! You're supposed to think those are terrible.
Well, then next time, try not to be so perfect.
Wink.
If you can.
Wink.
You can't.
It's impossible.
Wink.
Wink.
Wink, wink.
[groans.]
I'd like to sing a song inspired by the prettiest name ever Blurg.
[grunts.]
B is for better 'Cause she's better than the rest - Is he always so? - [Eep.]
Yeah.
L is for lovely That's why everyone's impressed [both grunt.]
U is for [grunts.]
U is for [grunts.]
U is for Ah! U is for [gasps.]
Enough! [humming.]
[shrieks.]
Dad! [Trixie.]
If my nerves are gonna last till we get our ransom, we gotta make this stinker stay put.
[snores.]
Psst.
Blurg, I got a cool idea for your next story.
You wanna hear? Great, here goes.
What if it turns out the young gatherer and the evil hunter are Wait for it.
Wait for it.
Wait for it some more.
And wait That's it! That's it! They're the same person! Get it through your thick head.
I do not like you Wait, same person? That's genius.
[disco music plays.]
No! [gasps.]
Hi.
Daydreaming about someone? Do we stick the big lift at the end this time? Get away from me.
She kissed me on the lips with her foot.
[Grug.]
The Broods' hideout in sight.
Better make sure the team's in position.
[hoots.]
Amber say, "Hoot".
Time to strike.
- But first, can I offer a thought? - No.
[shouts.]
Yah! Knock 'em and rock 'em, team.
Amber say, "Ahhh!" Amber say, "Huh?" Oh, no! Please don't tell me we attacked another empty cave.
I tried to tell you, and actually, it's the same empty cave we attacked before.
See? - And also - [growls.]
- [squeaks.]
- [groans.]
That one hadn't gone off yet.
[gasps.]
[sighs.]
I wanna hold Blurg's hand.
I bet her grip is strong and painful, just like she is.
[grunts.]
Finally! Let's get out of here.
Wait, what the?! No, Eep.
We can't go.
I'm so close to making Blurg like me.
Wrong, Thunk.
Blurg is never going to like you.
It's not you, it's her.
She is terrible.
Sorry, Eep.
You're making me do this.
Broods, we're escaping! Wake up, everyone! Why, you You're not going anywhere till your parents pay up! Oh, you mean, them? So, Broods in next cave whole time.
- Ugh, that humiliating.
- Eep, Thunk! Sharp shooter, strong guy, other strong guy, wife.
Anyone have any clue where they might have gone? [clears throat.]
Brainy McGee might have an idea.
[all grunt.]
So much for 5,000 smash fruits the easy way.
Is kidnapping supposed to be this hard, or is it just you kids? I'll think on it as we toss you into the bottomless pit! Sorry, Eep.
This is all my fault.
Blurg, enough of this Will They Or Won't They game we're playing.
If you have any feelings for me, please, let us go.
Wow.
When you put it that way, I guess I will let you go into the pit! [laughs.]
Good taunting, Blurg! Yay, Broods! [Broods laugh.]
Well, Blurg, now that I know for sure you don't like me, all I can say is I am still madly in like with you.
Oh, this is getting sad.
Thunk, are you nuts? She is holding us over certain death.
Can't help it, Eep.
I like Blurg.
In fact, I love you.
[echoes.]
I love you.
I love you.
No! Stop! - Croodies everywhere.
- Don't let them escape! I am right on your tail, or I would be if you had one.
[Thunk grunts.]
- To freedom, Eep.
- You're not going anywhere.
Huh? [all cough, groan.]
[Grug.]
Eep, Thunk.
Gotta say, I'm impressed.
How'd you know they were gonna throw the kids in this bottomless pit? [laughs.]
Well, I thought about it very hard, and then saw they threatened it on the back of the ransom note.
- Hmm.
- Good job, Snoot.
I mean, Brainy McGee.
[chortles.]
Aw, Thunk, sorry you couldn't make Blurg like you in the end.
Eh.
It's okay.
Maybe someday it'll work out.
Or my heart will be broken forever.
Either way.
I can't believe that lovesick twerp stood up to us like that.
Yeah.
I can't believe it either.
[disco music plays.]
[music playing.]
Welcome to this season's Valley Meat Meet where we meet to swap meat.
Ha! We really need to come up with another word for meat.
Time to compete to see who's got the tastiest food that comes from Fine! Meat in the Valley.
[all giggle.]
Another Meat Meet.
Or as I call it, Mom and Thunk time.
Since, you know, nobody ever picks our food.
Not this time, Thunk.
Sure, we've taken our lumps, especially for last season's meat lump.
But no one can resist a meatball.
You're right.
Just look at Amber's.
Thank you.
Please, no praise Amber with mouth full.
Swallow.
Then praise.
Ah! [groans.]
Every season, it's Amber, Amber, Amber! [all.]
Amber! Amber! Amber! Uh, hi, honey.
Your meat looks good too.
Now that's a carcass.
[groans.]
Don't worry.
We just gotta take our meat to the next meat level.
- Like, we can add bugs for flavor.
- And a dash of dirt for texture.
[Thunk chuckles.]
Now a pinch of grass for color.
[shrieks, thuds.]
Oh, it's ruined! No one will eat this.
Serve me instead.
- Maybe no one will notice? - Hey! What's that I'm noticing? Oh, uh It's a new type of meat, sir.
This just in, yum! I always believed in you, honey.
Oh, my mouth is so happy.
Hey! No leave! Amber crave more approval! - The last slice! - The last slice! - It's mine! - It's mine.
- [shouts.]
- Wow.
You guys really like meatzza.
How about we make more tomorrow? - This is why I love you.
- My mouth will be there! [all chatter.]
How are those meatzzas looking, Thunk? There.
Fresh from the ground to your mouth.
That's the Ugga and Son guarantee.
[gulping.]
How do you get it to taste so good? I care for each meatzza as if it were my own child.
And let me tell you, there's no better feeling than seeing people eat your children, except spending time with my mom.
Oh, that's sweet.
Now how about a little less lip-flap and little more flip-flat? Amber must say, people really like Ugga meatzzas.
That why Amber decide make even better meatzzas.
[claps.]
Even better meatzzas.
Why, that sounds even better.
Spit out Ugga garbage meatzza and follow Amber.
- [all spitting.]
- [gasps.]
My babies! [growls.]
What do you think you're doing? Amber in meatzza business now.
Also in business of beating Ugga at own game.
And business good.
One slice, plea I mean, shame on you, copying my family like that.
Save me a slice.
[chuckles nervously.]
This was our thing, Amber.
You can't steal our thing! Sure Amber can.
If Ugga not want trade something, Amber must ask Ugga to move along.
[grumbles.]
Lousy superior meatzza.
But we can do even better.
- We will crush them.
- Yeah! Do we really need to crush them though? No, we don't "need" to crush them, but we will crush them! Our top story: clouds.
Fluffy friends or sky monsters trying to drown us with rain? But first, these messages.
At Ugga and Son, we know you have a choice of meatzzas.
That's why we've come up with meatzza delivery.
[all gasp.]
From our stand to your mouth in 30 moments or less.
[grunting.]
[all cheer.]
[growls.]
Amber and Amber Daughter now have delivery, too.
Yeah.
And our meatzzas come with a free set of wings.
[all cheer.]
[growls.]
Hey, old people, try our new old-friendly veggie meatzza.
[all gulping.]
[growls.]
Here are Amber new meatzza for ultimate meat-likers! Old Man Root? I thought you didn't even eat meat.
Oh, come on.
A man has his limits.
Hey, wanna eat so much meatzza that your stomach hurts? Mm-hm.
That's why I'm alive.
Try our new large meatzza! It's large! [all.]
Ooh! Ahh! Like, check our new meatzza, the extra large.
- This feels even better than it looks.
- Ooh, me next.
I mean, how dare you rip off my son and beautiful wife? Oh, give it up, Grug.
It's all right, Mom.
At least we're getting to spend time with each other.
And with our new meatzza friend.
Oh, you can eat my face.
Don't mind if I do.
Ah! [shrieks.]
I'm in pain! Hey, you two make meatzzas, right? - I need 50.
- Really? Yeah.
And I need them fast.
[growls.]
By the end of the day.
Fifty by the end of the day? - That's - No problem at all.
- [growls.]
- Oh, don't you start, too.
Take that, Amber.
No one's ever done an order this big before.
Well, I guess if we're working together, it'll be fun, right? [groans.]
This isn't fun.
What will be fun is seeing the look on Amber's face when Ugga and Son put her outta business.
Good enough.
We'll call it a special.
How's it going over there? I need energy.
Maybe if I eat something.
Thunk, no eating the product.
Do you wanna crush Amber or not? To be honest, I didn't start making meatzzas to crush anyone, except the buffalippos' carcasses we're using, of course.
Thunk, if you're not gonna take this seriously, I will have to find someone else who will.
Are you getting rid of me as your partner and your son? Of course not.
Just as a partner.
Well, I could tell when I'm not wanted, by the fact that you said exactly that! [sobs.]
Here you go, Squawk.
I can make 'em faster too, thanks to my new partner.
Happy to pound my body on the ground for a good cause.
Too slow.
Our meatzza needs have already been met.
Amber? [grunts.]
- But how did you? - Amber new partner tip Amber off.
- Thunk? - Hello, Mother.
You look well.
Covered in meat works for you.
You're with them now? Yes.
Thunk like son Amber never have.
Or want before today.
[sighs.]
There must be some way to beat 'em.
We could turn them into meatzzas.
Too dark? This seems weird.
Why would Old Man Root ask us to bring every meatzza we have to the top of the mountain? Who care? Customer always right, even when customer annoying weirdo.
[Ugga laughs.]
That should take 'em a while.
Leaving the meatzza market all ours! Yay for Ugga and new son! Or maybe we change it to Wompy's Place.
[explosion.]
[Thunk screams.]
[all scream.]
[gasps.]
No, no.
No, no, no, no.
They're trapped.
Oh, my poor little Thunkster! What have I done? Let your desire to win consume you so much that you put your son's life in danger? Yeah, I know.
It was kind of implied.
[screams.]
I gotta save him! [pants.]
[all groaning.]
Amber staring death in face.
Amber have one thought.
- Amber wish Amber hunt more.
- [sighs.]
- Thunk.
- Mom, how did you know we were here? A mother always knows.
Also, Old Man Root didn't send you here, I did.
To get you out of my way.
- What? - Not cool, old lady.
Amber mad.
But respect Ugga game.
I know how you can escape.
Throw your meatzzas into the lava and use them as stepping stones.
How do we know this isn't another one of your mom tricks to crush us? No.
I am leaving the meatzza game.
It turned me against my own son.
Being Mom and Thunk is more important to me than being Ugga and Son.
Please.
[grunting.]
[Pat.]
Like, ow! Aw, that's sweet, Ugga choose son over thriving meatzza stand.
That also very good for Amber meatzza stand.
Pat, get ready work harder than ever before! Like, ugh.
Wanna trade moms? [groans.]
[both sniffing, sizzling.]
[sniffs.]
Huh.
Those smell good.
I wonder how they taste.
[both spitting.]
Oh, hot food.
- No, thanks.
- Yeah.
Plus the edge is, like, all crusty.
[music playing.]