DC's Legends Of Tomorrow (2016) s03e09 Episode Script
Beebo the God of War
1 Previously, on "Legends of Tomorrow" Thank you for notifying us of Detective Hunter's whereabouts.
Now the Legends are free to fly the skies? The Time Bureau has bigger things to worry about than a bunch of idiots.
Mallus is getting stronger, Captain Lance.
There is a war coming, and history needs you to be ready.
- Do I know you? - No, no.
I'm Marty.
So, you're Leonard Snart's doppelganger? No, I'm Leonard Snart, but you can call me Leo.
- [GUNSHOTS.]
- Ah! I'm asking you to let me die, so that you may live.
[SOBBING.]
Sleigh bells ring Are you listening? In the lane This is the last store in town with the Beebo dolls, Clarissa, I I promise.
I am not leaving without one for Lily.
Professor Stein, Merry Christmas.
And a Happy Hanukah to you, Chuck.
Every kid needs a Beebo doll, right? So it would seem.
I got one! I can't believe I got one! - [CHUCKLES.]
- [INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
I don't suppose you can tell me how many Beebos you have back there? Plenty.
Don't worry about it.
[WHISPERING.]
Actually, we just ran out them.
- Uh, but you just said - I'm sorry, folks.
We are expecting a new shipment in February.
February? Five-year-olds don't wait until February.
Wait! There's one more Beebo right there.
[ALL GASP.]
[GRUNTS.]
Move! [DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
Think, Marty.
Distance of about six meters.
Allowing for air resistance.
Breathe in, hold [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC.]
[LATCH CLICKS.]
[MUSIC BUILDS.]
[STIRRING MUSIC.]
Eureka! I've got it! [TENSE MUSIC.]
Get him! [UP-TEMPO COVER OF "HANUKKAH, OH HANUKKAH" PLAYING.]
Barbarians! Oh Hanukkah oh Hanukkah The festival of joy A holly day, a jolly day For every girl and boy [BIRDS TWEETING.]
Great Scott.
[PEOPLE YELLING.]
Barbarians? [DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
[SOFT, SLOW STRING MUSIC.]
Gideon said that you wanted to see me.
Come in.
Have a seat.
You comfortable? I know the Legends have lost a friend.
I've been there.
I wanna help you guys through the grieving period.
Oh, that's that's very sweet of you.
I wanna give you the chance to get anything off your chest, anything at all.
What would you like to say To Professor Martin Stein? [PLAYFUL STRING MUSIC.]
I I think that everyone copes in their own ways.
It's clear the Legends are ill-equipped to cope at all.
This way? This is wrong.
Uh, actually, there is one question - I never got to ask Marty.
- Great.
When I reduce the Waverider's coefficient of sinusoidal depleneration, it seems to inversely hyper-celerate.
Let's hear it again.
What would you like to say to me, Nathaniel? Still a little too nasally.
Remember, you speak very precisely.
This is therapy, not acting class.
Nice! That's the right level of frustration.
That's very Stein.
Now just do it with the puppet.
[POUNDING, ITEMS RATTLING.]
My goodness, you're really working out some rage issues with, uh, Professor Stein.
No, I just hate puppets.
All right, I am I am putting the puppet away.
I I get it now.
That wasn't the best tactic.
Look, Jax, I think that you, even more so than the others, must be in pain about this.
He died so I could live.
- End of story.
- It wasn't your fault.
I should never have given him that Firestorm cure.
I should've been strong enough for both of us.
- I - Mm All right, you know, no.
We're not doing this.
[RUMBLING, ELECTRICAL BUZZING.]
What was that? An Anachronism caused a disturbance in the Temporal Zone, which created a Timequake.
And this is where Marty would've said, "Fascinating.
" [SIGHS.]
All right, everybody, I know you're sad, so this is what we're gonna do.
I want you to take all of your feelings about Martin and put it in a box, and then, I want you to close the box, and then, you're gonna lock the box.
Well, that sounds healthy.
Maybe not, but we got a job to do.
Gideon, the Anachronism, please.
Uh, Level 12? Level Ten didn't do it justice.
Leif Eriksson's Vikings set up a colony in the New World around 1000 A.
D.
Little known fact, the Vikings "discovered" the Americas 492 years before Columbus, but due to Eriksson's adoption of Christianity, the Vikings decided to pack up their bags and head home.
Sorry, Gideon, you were saying? In this version of history, the Vikings stayed and conquered all of North America, or as it's called now, New Valhalla.
- Cool hat.
- How many beers is that? It's not even noon yet.
You have a problem, Mickey.
I don't have a problem.
Now shut up.
All right, let's go.
I don't think the Legends are ready for the field.
Listen, Leo, kicking ass is how we heal.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER, SOFT METALLIC CLANKING.]
I don't like it, sister.
This land is bountiful, but these people, these Skraelings, they're skilled warriors.
We should not challenge them.
It's time to return home to Greenland.
Brother, this continent is vast.
Who knows how far west it goes, and what riches it has to plunder.
It is our destiny to conquer all of New Valhalla.
That's Leif Erikkson and his sister, Freydis.
Yeah, this moment has huge historical significance.
It determines whether or not the Vikings leave North America, which, for me, is very exciting, cau You okay, man? Yeah.
Yeah, I'm fine.
Uh, let's just stay on mission.
Okay.
The Christian monks say that endless war means our people will never know peace.
It is what the Blue God has demanded, brother.
[SLOW STRING MUSIC.]
The Anachronism isn't a weapon.
Uh, guys, we're dealing with some kind of Blue God.
Found him.
Is that Martin? Martin's the Anachronism.
They used his genius to conquer the New World.
Ju hey, it's supposed to be a stealth mission.
Dammit! [TENSE MUSIC.]
Jax, back into position now.
[SIGHS.]
Jefferson? What are you doing here? - I I haven't seen you since - 1987.
Uh, don't worry, Martin, I I'ma get you out of here.
Wa wait! No, no, no, no, no, no! Ah! [GRUNTING.]
- You all right? - Most certainly not! - [MAN YELLING.]
- Look out! - [GRUNTS.]
- [GASPS.]
I haven't had a bath or a change of clothes for over a week.
I I I could've died.
- Was it something I said? - No, nothing.
It's fine.
We just gotta get out of here before the rest of the clan comes.
Uh, no, no, no, wait, wait, wait, wait.
- We have to go back.
- Go back for what? - My Beebo.
- What the hell is a Beebo? As in Cuddle Me Beebo? It's a Hannukah gift for Lily.
We're not going back for some damn toy! You don't understand! That damn toy is gonna change history! [GRUNTS.]
The four-eyed man has escaped.
No matter.
We still have our God [CHUCKLING.]
Beebo hungry.
And our God hungers for battle! [ALL ROAR.]
[ALL CHANTING.]
Beebo! Beebo! Beebo! Beebo! Beebo! Beebo! Beebo! Beebo! [CHUCKLING.]
All right, let me get this straight.
So, the Vikings think that Beebo is a God, Beebo as in, "Wah, wah, Beebo love you"? As preposterous as it sounds, that obnoxious toy is the only reason I survived.
The Vikings who found me in the woods were about to kill me, when Beebo spoke.
It it was like a a spell was cast over the barbarians.
Here, this should warm you up.
- Earl Grey? - With a little bit of brandy.
Ah, my favorite.
Thank you, Jefferson.
It does make sense.
Norse mythology is filled with creatures like Beebo: trolls, gnomes, tumptens.
Okay, sure, but thinking he's a God who wants them to conquer the New World? You see, at first, the Vikings thought that only I could make Beebo talk, but it soon became clear that my translations were not what Lief's sister wanted to hear.
Freydis usurped my position and twisted Beebo's words for her own agenda.
All right, sounds like we gotta go get that Beebo, and send the Vikings packing.
Zari, can you take young Stein to where he can get cleaned up? - Come on.
- I I can help him, - 'cause I've got nothing - It's okay.
Zari's got it.
Hm.
[SOLEMN STRING MUSIC.]
Mart Marty Mar Martin you're looking young and lively.
- Uh, good to see you.
- [CHUCKLES.]
You too, Raymond.
Uh, one question: Where's me? - Uh, you - At peace.
With your family for the For the holidays.
Ah, I almost forgot.
Happy Hannukah.
[CHUCKLES.]
[CHUCKLES.]
Uh, Happy Hannukah.
I'll drink to that.
Ah! That's disgusting.
What's wrong with this beer? Man, can you believe Sara? She doesn't trust me around young Stein.
So you're saying you weren't planning on warning Martin about him dying? Okay, fine, but But come on, man.
Grey dies, and then, all of a sudden, his younger self gets displaced in time? Yeah, I know, it's crazy that we keep bumping into ourselves.
Yeah.
I mean, Ray and the baby Dominator, and Sir Stein and his killer stash.
Mick's dad.
I mean, this can't just be a coincidence.
[EXHALES.]
What if this is fate's way of saying we should step up? That we can actually improve things? Martin made his choice, Jax, and we should be honoring his sacrifice, - not trying to undo it.
- Yeah, but it's Grey.
I mean, how can we not tell him? Because what if knowing about his death makes young Marty choose not to create the Firestorm matrix or meet you or step foot on this ship? He never would've wanted you to risk the present - to save him in the past.
- And how exactly do you know what he would've wanted, Ray? You weren't psychically connected to him for three years.
[SLOW, SOFT STRING MUSIC.]
- [GLASS SHATTERS.]
- Gideon! The beer tastes like sewage water.
Was that a question, Mr.
Rory? Don't get smart, lady.
I adjusted the fabrication settings.
The Waverider's now a dry ship.
No alcohol allowed.
You son of a You said your drinking wasn't a problem.
If you can go a couple of days without booze, - you've proven your point.
- A couple of days? - 42 hours? - 48.
[GRUMBLES.]
So, I checked the lunar calendar, and today is Yuletide.
Oh, like Christmas? Well, before Christians rebranded it, wreaths, trees, elves were all Norse traditions first.
And tonight, Leif is throwing a huge Yuletide feast.
Which is the perfect cover for us.
- [MOUTH POPS.]
- Oh we could dress up as Norse Gods [ACCENT INFLECTS.]
and order them to head back to Greenland or face our wrath! - Worst idea you ever had.
- That's a terrible idea.
- Mm-hm.
- Mm.
Incoming transmission from Agent Sharpe.
- [SIGHS.]
- Oh Put her on.
Agent Sharpe, it's been awhile, thankfully.
- Captain Lance.
- Let me guess, you saw that there's a Level 12 Anachronism, and you're calling to lecture me on everything - that we're doing wrong.
- No.
- Okay, yes - Hm.
But I also heard about Martin Stein, and I'm calling to express my condolences.
Well, thank you, but my team and I, - we have it under control.
- I hope so, because the Legends fixing a Level 12 under normal circumstances would be a Beebo Day miracle.
[SHARP STRING MUSIC.]
Did you just say Beebo Day? December 25th, Beebo Day, when families exchange gifts and sing silly songs and discover that they can no longer live under the same roof? Beebo Day's part of the Anachronism, isn't it? - Yeah.
- Yeah, never felt right.
This Anachronism is cementing fast, and to be honest, my team is still pretty raw from losing Stein.
We could use an outside perspective.
Are you asking for my help? No.
- Okay, yes.
- [WHOOSHES, CRACKLES.]
All right what's the plan? [DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
You ready to see the Legends in action? The goal is to do this peacefully, without action.
There's a first time for everything, I guess.
Hail, Leif son of Erik.
I, Nathaniel Henryson.
Hail, Nathanial son of Henry.
A Yuletide surprise.
Are you sure this is wise, brother? We know nothing about these people.
We brought booze.
[FOLKY MUSIC PLAYING, SPIRITED CHATTER.]
Tell me of your clan.
You certainly are an odd collection.
We're from all over.
But we stick together the best we can.
Although, recently, we lost a brother.
Ah, that can be difficult.
I've lost far too many men and women in my own clan.
It has made you soft, brother.
Let's not fight in front of our guest, sister.
As far as strategy goes, this would not be my first pick.
Why not? They welcomed us in.
We get Beebo, we get out.
The Bureau has rules about fraternizing with the locals, and these costumes are ridiculous.
Nah, you look good.
- Give me that! - No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
No booze means no booze, Mickey.
- Stop calling me that.
- You have 35 hours left.
Can you handle it? Are you ready to admit that you have a problem? You're the problem! [TENSE MUSIC.]
Ah, there you are, you little bastard.
Beebo thirsty.
Uh [BOTH GRUNT.]
You dare to steal from our God? He's not gonna drink it.
Our Gods do not tolerate such insolence.
Beebo will decide your fate.
- [INHALES SHARPLY, GRUNTS.]
- [GRUNTS.]
[BODY THUDS.]
[LAUGHTER, SPIRITED CHATTER.]
Anyone have eyes on Beebo? Short, blue, looking for cuddles? Yep, we're working on it.
Here we go! [LIVELY MUSIC PLAYING.]
Ah! By Odin's Spear, you bested us.
Beautiful, and they can hold their mead.
Tell us which of these clansmen are your husbands, and we'll kill them.
- Oh.
- Hm.
I'm not really the husband kind.
[LAUGHS.]
Perfect! Me neither! All right, you guys said if we won, you'd take us to see your Blue God.
Two out of three.
- Ah! - Fellow warriors [TENSE MUSIC.]
Our guest has been stealing mead from the Blue God, and now, our God will render judgment.
[ALL CHANTING.]
Beebo! Beebo! Beebo! Beebo! Beebo! Beebo! Beebo! Beebo! Beebo! Beebo! Beebo! Beebo! Beebo! Beebo! How judge you, Beebo? [CHUCKLING.]
Beebo hungry.
Our God demands justice.
- To the pyre! - [ALL CHEER.]
Nate and Amaya, you're on Beebo.
Everyone else, let's make sure Rory doesn't get burned alive.
Freydis, it's Yuletide.
Let's not ruin it.
More wood, so bright Odin can see it from Valhalla.
Is it weird that I find her hot? Weird, but then again, not surprising.
Leo, can you take care of the fire? Copy that, Captain Lance.
I thought you said this was an undercover operation.
Well, blowing your cover is half the fun.
Into the flames! Now.
- [COLD GUN WHIRS, BLASTS.]
- [GROANS.]
[INDISTINCT MURMURING.]
[SOLEMN MUSIC.]
[GRUNTS.]
Uh, it's a sign! Beebo does not want our clansman to be burned.
The Blue God has shown mercy.
[CHUCKLING.]
I luh-luh-love you.
[CHUCKLING.]
- I accidentally squeezed him.
- He's so damn huggable.
- [METALLIC SCRAPES.]
- Unhand him or die! [METALLIC SCRAPING.]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
- [YELLS.]
- [SWORDS CLANK.]
[ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING, WALLOPS AND GRUNTS.]
I am leaving myself wide open, and you can't land a single punch.
Uh, yeah, I'm just warming up.
Uh-huh.
Let's up the stakes then.
Loser takes the other's chores for a month.
Ha-ha! Deal.
I know what you're trying to do, by the way.
- What's that? - Tying to distract me.
I'm also trying to beat you.
Is the distraction working? - I still wanna warn Grey.
- So do it.
I would've warned my brother, if I had the chance.
- Yeah, but Sara - Just 'cause she's the Captain doesn't mean you have to do everything she says.
- Yeah, no, I know, but we - [MECHANICAL DOOR HISSES.]
Ah, Jefferson, there you are.
- [ECSTATIC GRUNT.]
- Ah, game over! Ah! Come come on! - I'm scary good at this.
- Uh, you're just okay.
Forgive the interruption, but I would very much like to return to my Clarissa and Lily, with or without that wretched Beebo.
Oh, yeah, sure, I'll take you in the jumpship.
Yo.
This is your chance.
Find some loophole, like I did with Helen of Troy.
You can save your friend's life.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
[SWORDS CLANKING, PEOPLE GRUNTING.]
[EXPLOSIVE WHOOSH, ROARING.]
Nathaniel! [ALL YELL.]
Nate! Nate! I'm open! [GRUNTS.]
- [LAUGHS.]
Oh - [GRUNTS.]
Bee Bow [FLAMES WHOOSH.]
I hate puppets.
Beebo [VOICE MODULATES.]
want cuddle [CHUCKLING.]
[DRONING, CLICKS.]
[TENSE TONE.]
[SOLEMN MUSIC.]
[GRUNTS.]
I know how much you wanted to believe, sister, but Beebo's a false God full of false promises.
We are Vikings.
This is our land to conquer.
It's time to go home and abandon this colony.
It seems the Old Gods have abandoned us.
Well, looks like the Legends have saved Odin Day.
Odin Day? Wait, you mean Christmas? Doesn't ring a bell.
[GROANS.]
I thought we fixed the Anachronism.
[LIGHTNING STRIKING.]
[INTENSE MUSIC.]
My name is Odin, ruler of Asgard.
Damien Darhk You know this guy? - And his daughter.
- See? I told you the Norse God costumes would work.
Bow to the King of the true Gods! He has left Valhalla to lead you into battle.
Together, we will conquer the New World.
Mick, no, we're outmatched.
Let's go.
[LIGHTNING STRIKES.]
Kneel before Odin, brother.
[LIGHTNING STRIKES, BUZZES.]
That was unexpected.
I mean, not the Darhks showing up.
They seem to enjoy altering history.
- You retreating.
- Well, Vikings are one thing.
If we're gonna tangle with the Darhks, we have to get our heads on straight.
I, for one, am glad you're treading cautiously.
We've arrived safely in the Temporal Zone, but I'm afraid the Anachronism has Let me guess, it's worse.
Thank you, Gideon.
[RUMBLING, CLATTERING.]
Another Timequake.
[SIGHS.]
We are not letting America go Viking.
Ava, can you call the Time Bureau for backup? Wait, wait, wait, are we really that desperate? [RUMBLING, BUZZING.]
[SIGHS.]
Yeah.
Well, the last time we faced Nora Darhk, - she put Sara in a coma.
- Right.
I'll, uh, speak to Director Bennett.
Thank you.
[MECHANICAL DOOR HISSES.]
Wow, that's, uh, quite the getup.
Where's Martin and Jax? Uh, they're on their way back to Central City.
Gotta get Martin home for the holidays.
[SOLEMN MUSIC.]
[ENGINE WHIRRING.]
You've been awfully quiet, Jefferson.
Uh, my bad.
I've just had some Some things on my mind.
[MECHANICAL DOOR HISSES.]
[CHUCKLES.]
It's good to be home.
[CHUCKLES.]
I can't wait to see Clarissa and Lily.
Listen this is gonna sound crazy, okay, but you need to open this letter on November 28th, 2017.
I've seen "Back to the Future," Jefferson, that that mockery of time travel that Clarissa adores.
I I don't suppose this letter has anything to do with my future.
Uh, this letter could save your life.
Then I categorically refuse to take it.
You know the dangers of trying to improve history.
No, no, this This is your future.
And your past.
Give me a little credit.
I I know the team was lying when they said I was visiting family for the holidays.
Then take the damn letter and stop being so stubborn.
[SIGHS.]
Think about your family.
This letter is a loophole.
Nothing changes until November 28th, 2017.
Please.
Okay, Jefferson.
[EXHALES.]
Thank you.
Hello, friend.
Looking for booze? I'm not your friend.
You almost died back there, and I know you're craving a drink.
That's why it's so important to resist! You have to stop numbing yourself to fear and pain.
That's when the true transformation begins! Mickey! You're right.
You're right.
I I apologize.
That that was his name.
Your Earth-X doppelganger was my best friend.
We grew up together in the Resistance.
And when he died, I I was devastated.
But seeing you made me realize [CHUCKLES.]
I was a long way from acceptance.
I didn't come onboard just to help you process your loss.
I came so I could process mine.
[GROWLING.]
Was that guttural sound your response? - To what? - My heartfelt confession.
I don't care.
I wasn't listening.
Well, the Mick Rory I knew did care, and he did listen.
He was the kindest, most selfless person I've ever met, a far cry from the crude, alcoholic, oafish waste of space before me.
I'm a disappointment? Well, the Leonard Snart that I knew was a cold, ruthless criminal, who didn't say boo about my drinking, because he knew I could get the job done! I don't like you.
You don't fit in.
Why don't you go back to that Nazi hellhole - you call home? - Well, if that's how you feel, then I'll leave, as soon as we return from Vinland.
- Good.
- Good.
- Good! - Good! Are we clear, Agent Sharpe? - Crystal, sir.
- [SCREEN WHIRS.]
Please tell me you have good news.
I'm afraid Director Bennett doesn't believe this mission is the best use of our resources.
So what, the Time Bureau is just gonna let the Darhks run around and change history? The Time Bureau's in disarray.
Ever since Rip was sentenced to prison, we Wait, Rip is in prison? He was hardly convincing at the tribunal, raving about Mallus, completely unapologetic.
And in his absence, Damien Darhk has recruited even more allies.
Gideon, can you pull up what Director Bennett showed me, please? [WHIRRING.]
Grodd survived Vietnam.
Darhk secured him a means of time travel.
Of course.
Darhk and his daughter are just too powerful.
They have magic that we don't understand.
We've lost scores of agents trying to fight them.
So what? What does that mean? That you're just gonna throw in the towel? [SIGHS.]
We can't afford to lose anyone else.
- And I can? - No, I mean Do you have any idea how hard this has been on us? I really am sorry, Sara.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
Director Bennett has ordered me to return to the Time Bureau, so Screw his orders.
I need you here.
Look, I know Darhk is personal for you, and you're the last person to back out of a fight, but you asked me to give you an outside perspective.
If you're concerned about the safety of your team, leave Vinland.
This is not a fight the Legends can win.
[CHIMES, WHOOSHING.]
[SIGHS.]
Hey.
- You rang? - Yes.
Heard you took young Stein back to 1992.
- Yep.
- How'd it go? He's just glad to be home.
Okay, here's the deal.
Backup is not coming.
The Time Bureau thinks the Darhks can't be defeated, and they're probably right.
Leo asked us to talk about our feelings.
Well, my feeling is that history needs us to stop the Darhks, but after losing Stein, I can't lose anyone else.
[SOFT, SLOW STRING MUSIC.]
I need you guys to take the Waverider and leave.
Not without you.
You can't face Darhk alone.
I have a plan.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
I'm here to speak to Odin.
Let her pass.
[TENSE MUSIC.]
My father will enjoy killing you.
You've come alone.
I'm here to make you an offer.
Oh, this ought to be good.
[WALLOPS AND GRUNTS.]
Whoo Leave now, and I'll let you live.
No.
[NECK CRACKS.]
Hold up.
Your plan sucks.
- Pretty's right.
- Well, I can't do nothing.
Yeah, but you can come up with a better plan that, like, doesn't get you killed.
Okay, Z, what's your big plan? Well, first of all, you don't enter the Longhouse by yourself.
[GRUNTS.]
My father will enjoy killing you.
You've come alone.
Not exactly.
[WHIRS, WHOOSHES.]
And then, Darhk will have some sort of quip.
Something evil, but not too mustache-twirly.
What, are you gonna huff and puff till you blow my house in? [YELLING, GRUNTING.]
[METALLIC SCRAPES.]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
What's the matter? Performance anxiety? - [GAGGING.]
- So far, this works, but it doesn't solve our Nora problem.
And what about the rest of the Vikings? Odin is under attack! Defend him, if you wanna see Valhalla.
You're gonna need backup.
Listen, Sara, just don't let Grey's death teach us the wrong lessons.
Either we do this together or not at all.
[SOLEMN MUSIC.]
Gideon, plot a course for Vinland.
[MUSIC BUILDS.]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
[WHOOSHES.]
What, are you gonna huff and puff till you blow my house in? [METALLIC SCRAPES.]
What's the matter? Performance anxiety? [BODY THUDDING.]
[GRUNTS.]
Ah! Odin is under attack! Defend him, if you wanna see Valhalla.
Halt.
[CHUCKLES.]
It is I, Beebo, risen from the grave.
Like Christ himself.
Yeah [COUGHING.]
Yes, Jesus is the one true God, which [VOICE MODULATES.]
Doesn't mean science or evolution isn't real.
Anyway, you need to return to Greenland, which, um, will soon be melting, thanks to global warming, which is also real.
[TENSE MUSIC.]
- [WHOOSHES.]
- [GASPS.]
Whoo! [GASPS.]
Like a little fire? - How 'bout a little ice? - [COLD GUN WHIRS, BLASTS.]
[GRUNTS.]
[BUZZES, CRACKLES.]
[INHALES SHARPLY.]
Nora They killed the Valkyrie! [WHOOSHES, ROARS.]
[ALL YELLING.]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
- [GRUNTS.]
- Ah! [GRUNTING AND CLANKING.]
Nora! [LIGHTNING STRIKES, RUMBLES.]
[SOLEMN MUSIC.]
Not this time.
[WHOOSHES.]
[GASPS.]
[SAND SWISHING.]
Sara Lance.
Who's there? Who are you? [BREATHES HEAVILY.]
What is this place? I am Mallus.
Soon I will be free, and your world will know unendurable pain.
[TENSE MUSIC.]
[BOTH GRUNT.]
[BOTH BREATHING HEAVILY.]
You came back.
It's like you said, you needed me.
Well, your timing is impeccable.
[EXHALES.]
It's a Christmas miracle.
Yes.
Whoo-hoo! There is nothing physically ailing you, Captain Lance.
Told you.
I'm fine.
[SCOFFS.]
You also told me you visited an alternate dimension.
[SIGHS.]
Well, it wasn't my first time.
Sara tell me exactly what you saw in there.
Look, I don't know, okay? It wasn't about what I saw.
It was about what I felt.
It was an absence of feeling: no warmth, no love, just a void, and the only thing filling the void was Mallus.
[OMINOUS MUSIC.]
It seems Rip was right to be obsessed with him.
I need to tell the Bureau.
Well, aren't you afraid of getting in trouble for disobeying orders? It was worth it.
See ya again.
Gideon, how's the ol' timeline? Records show that history has been restored.
New Valhalla is North America again, and the only war Beebo has incited is in shopping malls across the nation.
Sounds like our work here is done.
Gideon, you're sure there are no other changes to the timeline? If you're referring to Professor Stein, he still died in 2017.
I'm sorry, Jax.
Wait I I just don't understand.
Uh, the loophole, it it should've worked.
That letter told him exactly how to protect himself on the day he died.
Wh what happened? Uh [SIGHS.]
he He must not have read it.
[SOMBER PIANO MUSIC.]
[DISTRESSED SIGH.]
Oh! Hey, Lily! A little birdie told me you wanted one of these guys.
- [CHUCKLING.]
- Beebo! I love him! - [CHUCKLES.]
Happy Hanukah.
- [GASPS SOFTLY.]
Clarissa, you remember Jefferson.
- You haven't aged a day.
- Neither have you.
Can I get you some Earl Grey? Uh, yeah, sure.
Come on.
[CHUCKLES.]
I think I know why you're here.
Come in.
The letter, you never read it.
That's because I already burned it.
What? I I was tempted, to be sure.
I thought a lot about that date.
November 28th, 2017.
I'll be 67 then.
I'll have had adventures, watched my daughter grow up, and I'll have made a friend, who was willing to risk far, far too much for me.
No, I I am trying to save you You need to let me go.
We both know you shouldn't be here.
I I may have a life ahead of me, but to you, - I'm a ghost.
- No, no, to me I'm not gonna cheat death, Jefferson.
None of us live forever, and yet, I clearly live a wonderful life with many chapters.
And if I had one wish, it it wouldn't be for me to prolong my life.
It would be for you to live yours, and to have all the happiness you deserve.
[EXHALES.]
Okay.
[SOFT, SLOW STRING MUSIC.]
[EXHALES.]
Goodbye, Grey.
Goodbye, Jefferson.
[WHIRRING, RUMBLING.]
[MECHANICAL DOOR HISSES.]
Did you try to change his fate? Didn't work, so, uh I'm sorry, Jax.
Me too.
If I stay on this ship, I'll never be able to move on.
What do you mean? Like you wanna leave? You you can't leave, Jax.
No, you're you're not leaving.
You're a part of this team.
Yeah, and I always will be, but right now, uh, this is something I gotta do.
I need a different kind of adventure.
Is this what you really want? Yeah.
I would order you to stay, but I know you'd just disobey me and follow your heart, like you always do.
[MUFFLED EXHALE.]
Hey Can you do me a favor? Don't tell the others until I'm gone.
I don't do goodbyes.
It's it's not my thing.
Yeah, yeah.
Totally, I get it.
Okay.
[SOFT PIANO MUSIC.]
[MECHANICAL DOOR HISSES.]
[LIGHTS CLICKING ON.]
- Surprise! - Boo! You didn't really think we were just gonna let you sneak out of here without saying goodbye.
Yeah, we can't celebrate the holidays without the whole family.
Happy Yuletide.
Jingle bell jingle bell Jingle bell rock Well, I think we made an impressive team out there.
Hm.
Reminded me of old times.
Mm.
L'chaim.
Jingle bell jingle bell - Mmm.
- As you can taste, I reprogrammed Gideon.
I should not have tried to change you, and I'm sorry, Mick.
To the ones we lost, or left behind.
[BOTTLES CLINK.]
- [GLASS CLINKING.]
- Speech - ALL: Speech - [CLINKING.]
- Speech, speech, speech.
- Oh Okay, all right.
Uh, when Grey first dragged me onboard this ship, uh, I thought it was the last place that I wanted to be.
I mean, you were all a bunch of screw-ups, uh, B-list superheroes, washed up bank robbers, no offense - [MOUTHS WORD.]
- But, uh the thing is, when you get a bunch of broken pieces, and you put 'em all together the right way, they make something new, and suddenly, they don't feel so broken anymore [SOFT PIANO MUSIC.]
And I'm pretty sure that's what a family is.
So, uh I don't know what happens next, but I know I'll always have a family here with you guys.
- That's right.
- Damn right, little brother.
- Always.
- [MOUTHS WORD.]
[EMOTIVE STRING MUSIC.]
Cheers.
[GLASSES CLINKING.]
Well it's been an honor, Captain.
Come here.
Hey [CHUCKLES.]
[EXHALES.]
I'm sure it's only gonna be a matter of time before some Aztecs with jetpacks invade Central City, so [SOFT, SLOW STRING MUSIC.]
And the honor's been all mine.
[SIGHS.]
[MUSIC BUILDS.]
[MECHANICAL DOOR HISSES.]
[MATCH CLICKS.]
It's been a long time, love.
John? [AERY AMBIENT MUSIC.]
Now, let's see, the last time we met, I saved your soul.
Now there's something you can do for me.
Look, I'd love to help, but your timing is terrible.
Uh, this won't take long.
You see, there's a demon out there.
It's possessing a little girl.
And that demon, he knows your name.
Now the Legends are free to fly the skies? The Time Bureau has bigger things to worry about than a bunch of idiots.
Mallus is getting stronger, Captain Lance.
There is a war coming, and history needs you to be ready.
- Do I know you? - No, no.
I'm Marty.
So, you're Leonard Snart's doppelganger? No, I'm Leonard Snart, but you can call me Leo.
- [GUNSHOTS.]
- Ah! I'm asking you to let me die, so that you may live.
[SOBBING.]
Sleigh bells ring Are you listening? In the lane This is the last store in town with the Beebo dolls, Clarissa, I I promise.
I am not leaving without one for Lily.
Professor Stein, Merry Christmas.
And a Happy Hanukah to you, Chuck.
Every kid needs a Beebo doll, right? So it would seem.
I got one! I can't believe I got one! - [CHUCKLES.]
- [INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
I don't suppose you can tell me how many Beebos you have back there? Plenty.
Don't worry about it.
[WHISPERING.]
Actually, we just ran out them.
- Uh, but you just said - I'm sorry, folks.
We are expecting a new shipment in February.
February? Five-year-olds don't wait until February.
Wait! There's one more Beebo right there.
[ALL GASP.]
[GRUNTS.]
Move! [DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
Think, Marty.
Distance of about six meters.
Allowing for air resistance.
Breathe in, hold [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC.]
[LATCH CLICKS.]
[MUSIC BUILDS.]
[STIRRING MUSIC.]
Eureka! I've got it! [TENSE MUSIC.]
Get him! [UP-TEMPO COVER OF "HANUKKAH, OH HANUKKAH" PLAYING.]
Barbarians! Oh Hanukkah oh Hanukkah The festival of joy A holly day, a jolly day For every girl and boy [BIRDS TWEETING.]
Great Scott.
[PEOPLE YELLING.]
Barbarians? [DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
[SOFT, SLOW STRING MUSIC.]
Gideon said that you wanted to see me.
Come in.
Have a seat.
You comfortable? I know the Legends have lost a friend.
I've been there.
I wanna help you guys through the grieving period.
Oh, that's that's very sweet of you.
I wanna give you the chance to get anything off your chest, anything at all.
What would you like to say To Professor Martin Stein? [PLAYFUL STRING MUSIC.]
I I think that everyone copes in their own ways.
It's clear the Legends are ill-equipped to cope at all.
This way? This is wrong.
Uh, actually, there is one question - I never got to ask Marty.
- Great.
When I reduce the Waverider's coefficient of sinusoidal depleneration, it seems to inversely hyper-celerate.
Let's hear it again.
What would you like to say to me, Nathaniel? Still a little too nasally.
Remember, you speak very precisely.
This is therapy, not acting class.
Nice! That's the right level of frustration.
That's very Stein.
Now just do it with the puppet.
[POUNDING, ITEMS RATTLING.]
My goodness, you're really working out some rage issues with, uh, Professor Stein.
No, I just hate puppets.
All right, I am I am putting the puppet away.
I I get it now.
That wasn't the best tactic.
Look, Jax, I think that you, even more so than the others, must be in pain about this.
He died so I could live.
- End of story.
- It wasn't your fault.
I should never have given him that Firestorm cure.
I should've been strong enough for both of us.
- I - Mm All right, you know, no.
We're not doing this.
[RUMBLING, ELECTRICAL BUZZING.]
What was that? An Anachronism caused a disturbance in the Temporal Zone, which created a Timequake.
And this is where Marty would've said, "Fascinating.
" [SIGHS.]
All right, everybody, I know you're sad, so this is what we're gonna do.
I want you to take all of your feelings about Martin and put it in a box, and then, I want you to close the box, and then, you're gonna lock the box.
Well, that sounds healthy.
Maybe not, but we got a job to do.
Gideon, the Anachronism, please.
Uh, Level 12? Level Ten didn't do it justice.
Leif Eriksson's Vikings set up a colony in the New World around 1000 A.
D.
Little known fact, the Vikings "discovered" the Americas 492 years before Columbus, but due to Eriksson's adoption of Christianity, the Vikings decided to pack up their bags and head home.
Sorry, Gideon, you were saying? In this version of history, the Vikings stayed and conquered all of North America, or as it's called now, New Valhalla.
- Cool hat.
- How many beers is that? It's not even noon yet.
You have a problem, Mickey.
I don't have a problem.
Now shut up.
All right, let's go.
I don't think the Legends are ready for the field.
Listen, Leo, kicking ass is how we heal.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER, SOFT METALLIC CLANKING.]
I don't like it, sister.
This land is bountiful, but these people, these Skraelings, they're skilled warriors.
We should not challenge them.
It's time to return home to Greenland.
Brother, this continent is vast.
Who knows how far west it goes, and what riches it has to plunder.
It is our destiny to conquer all of New Valhalla.
That's Leif Erikkson and his sister, Freydis.
Yeah, this moment has huge historical significance.
It determines whether or not the Vikings leave North America, which, for me, is very exciting, cau You okay, man? Yeah.
Yeah, I'm fine.
Uh, let's just stay on mission.
Okay.
The Christian monks say that endless war means our people will never know peace.
It is what the Blue God has demanded, brother.
[SLOW STRING MUSIC.]
The Anachronism isn't a weapon.
Uh, guys, we're dealing with some kind of Blue God.
Found him.
Is that Martin? Martin's the Anachronism.
They used his genius to conquer the New World.
Ju hey, it's supposed to be a stealth mission.
Dammit! [TENSE MUSIC.]
Jax, back into position now.
[SIGHS.]
Jefferson? What are you doing here? - I I haven't seen you since - 1987.
Uh, don't worry, Martin, I I'ma get you out of here.
Wa wait! No, no, no, no, no, no! Ah! [GRUNTING.]
- You all right? - Most certainly not! - [MAN YELLING.]
- Look out! - [GRUNTS.]
- [GASPS.]
I haven't had a bath or a change of clothes for over a week.
I I I could've died.
- Was it something I said? - No, nothing.
It's fine.
We just gotta get out of here before the rest of the clan comes.
Uh, no, no, no, wait, wait, wait, wait.
- We have to go back.
- Go back for what? - My Beebo.
- What the hell is a Beebo? As in Cuddle Me Beebo? It's a Hannukah gift for Lily.
We're not going back for some damn toy! You don't understand! That damn toy is gonna change history! [GRUNTS.]
The four-eyed man has escaped.
No matter.
We still have our God [CHUCKLING.]
Beebo hungry.
And our God hungers for battle! [ALL ROAR.]
[ALL CHANTING.]
Beebo! Beebo! Beebo! Beebo! Beebo! Beebo! Beebo! Beebo! [CHUCKLING.]
All right, let me get this straight.
So, the Vikings think that Beebo is a God, Beebo as in, "Wah, wah, Beebo love you"? As preposterous as it sounds, that obnoxious toy is the only reason I survived.
The Vikings who found me in the woods were about to kill me, when Beebo spoke.
It it was like a a spell was cast over the barbarians.
Here, this should warm you up.
- Earl Grey? - With a little bit of brandy.
Ah, my favorite.
Thank you, Jefferson.
It does make sense.
Norse mythology is filled with creatures like Beebo: trolls, gnomes, tumptens.
Okay, sure, but thinking he's a God who wants them to conquer the New World? You see, at first, the Vikings thought that only I could make Beebo talk, but it soon became clear that my translations were not what Lief's sister wanted to hear.
Freydis usurped my position and twisted Beebo's words for her own agenda.
All right, sounds like we gotta go get that Beebo, and send the Vikings packing.
Zari, can you take young Stein to where he can get cleaned up? - Come on.
- I I can help him, - 'cause I've got nothing - It's okay.
Zari's got it.
Hm.
[SOLEMN STRING MUSIC.]
Mart Marty Mar Martin you're looking young and lively.
- Uh, good to see you.
- [CHUCKLES.]
You too, Raymond.
Uh, one question: Where's me? - Uh, you - At peace.
With your family for the For the holidays.
Ah, I almost forgot.
Happy Hannukah.
[CHUCKLES.]
[CHUCKLES.]
Uh, Happy Hannukah.
I'll drink to that.
Ah! That's disgusting.
What's wrong with this beer? Man, can you believe Sara? She doesn't trust me around young Stein.
So you're saying you weren't planning on warning Martin about him dying? Okay, fine, but But come on, man.
Grey dies, and then, all of a sudden, his younger self gets displaced in time? Yeah, I know, it's crazy that we keep bumping into ourselves.
Yeah.
I mean, Ray and the baby Dominator, and Sir Stein and his killer stash.
Mick's dad.
I mean, this can't just be a coincidence.
[EXHALES.]
What if this is fate's way of saying we should step up? That we can actually improve things? Martin made his choice, Jax, and we should be honoring his sacrifice, - not trying to undo it.
- Yeah, but it's Grey.
I mean, how can we not tell him? Because what if knowing about his death makes young Marty choose not to create the Firestorm matrix or meet you or step foot on this ship? He never would've wanted you to risk the present - to save him in the past.
- And how exactly do you know what he would've wanted, Ray? You weren't psychically connected to him for three years.
[SLOW, SOFT STRING MUSIC.]
- [GLASS SHATTERS.]
- Gideon! The beer tastes like sewage water.
Was that a question, Mr.
Rory? Don't get smart, lady.
I adjusted the fabrication settings.
The Waverider's now a dry ship.
No alcohol allowed.
You son of a You said your drinking wasn't a problem.
If you can go a couple of days without booze, - you've proven your point.
- A couple of days? - 42 hours? - 48.
[GRUMBLES.]
So, I checked the lunar calendar, and today is Yuletide.
Oh, like Christmas? Well, before Christians rebranded it, wreaths, trees, elves were all Norse traditions first.
And tonight, Leif is throwing a huge Yuletide feast.
Which is the perfect cover for us.
- [MOUTH POPS.]
- Oh we could dress up as Norse Gods [ACCENT INFLECTS.]
and order them to head back to Greenland or face our wrath! - Worst idea you ever had.
- That's a terrible idea.
- Mm-hm.
- Mm.
Incoming transmission from Agent Sharpe.
- [SIGHS.]
- Oh Put her on.
Agent Sharpe, it's been awhile, thankfully.
- Captain Lance.
- Let me guess, you saw that there's a Level 12 Anachronism, and you're calling to lecture me on everything - that we're doing wrong.
- No.
- Okay, yes - Hm.
But I also heard about Martin Stein, and I'm calling to express my condolences.
Well, thank you, but my team and I, - we have it under control.
- I hope so, because the Legends fixing a Level 12 under normal circumstances would be a Beebo Day miracle.
[SHARP STRING MUSIC.]
Did you just say Beebo Day? December 25th, Beebo Day, when families exchange gifts and sing silly songs and discover that they can no longer live under the same roof? Beebo Day's part of the Anachronism, isn't it? - Yeah.
- Yeah, never felt right.
This Anachronism is cementing fast, and to be honest, my team is still pretty raw from losing Stein.
We could use an outside perspective.
Are you asking for my help? No.
- Okay, yes.
- [WHOOSHES, CRACKLES.]
All right what's the plan? [DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
You ready to see the Legends in action? The goal is to do this peacefully, without action.
There's a first time for everything, I guess.
Hail, Leif son of Erik.
I, Nathaniel Henryson.
Hail, Nathanial son of Henry.
A Yuletide surprise.
Are you sure this is wise, brother? We know nothing about these people.
We brought booze.
[FOLKY MUSIC PLAYING, SPIRITED CHATTER.]
Tell me of your clan.
You certainly are an odd collection.
We're from all over.
But we stick together the best we can.
Although, recently, we lost a brother.
Ah, that can be difficult.
I've lost far too many men and women in my own clan.
It has made you soft, brother.
Let's not fight in front of our guest, sister.
As far as strategy goes, this would not be my first pick.
Why not? They welcomed us in.
We get Beebo, we get out.
The Bureau has rules about fraternizing with the locals, and these costumes are ridiculous.
Nah, you look good.
- Give me that! - No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
No booze means no booze, Mickey.
- Stop calling me that.
- You have 35 hours left.
Can you handle it? Are you ready to admit that you have a problem? You're the problem! [TENSE MUSIC.]
Ah, there you are, you little bastard.
Beebo thirsty.
Uh [BOTH GRUNT.]
You dare to steal from our God? He's not gonna drink it.
Our Gods do not tolerate such insolence.
Beebo will decide your fate.
- [INHALES SHARPLY, GRUNTS.]
- [GRUNTS.]
[BODY THUDS.]
[LAUGHTER, SPIRITED CHATTER.]
Anyone have eyes on Beebo? Short, blue, looking for cuddles? Yep, we're working on it.
Here we go! [LIVELY MUSIC PLAYING.]
Ah! By Odin's Spear, you bested us.
Beautiful, and they can hold their mead.
Tell us which of these clansmen are your husbands, and we'll kill them.
- Oh.
- Hm.
I'm not really the husband kind.
[LAUGHS.]
Perfect! Me neither! All right, you guys said if we won, you'd take us to see your Blue God.
Two out of three.
- Ah! - Fellow warriors [TENSE MUSIC.]
Our guest has been stealing mead from the Blue God, and now, our God will render judgment.
[ALL CHANTING.]
Beebo! Beebo! Beebo! Beebo! Beebo! Beebo! Beebo! Beebo! Beebo! Beebo! Beebo! Beebo! Beebo! Beebo! How judge you, Beebo? [CHUCKLING.]
Beebo hungry.
Our God demands justice.
- To the pyre! - [ALL CHEER.]
Nate and Amaya, you're on Beebo.
Everyone else, let's make sure Rory doesn't get burned alive.
Freydis, it's Yuletide.
Let's not ruin it.
More wood, so bright Odin can see it from Valhalla.
Is it weird that I find her hot? Weird, but then again, not surprising.
Leo, can you take care of the fire? Copy that, Captain Lance.
I thought you said this was an undercover operation.
Well, blowing your cover is half the fun.
Into the flames! Now.
- [COLD GUN WHIRS, BLASTS.]
- [GROANS.]
[INDISTINCT MURMURING.]
[SOLEMN MUSIC.]
[GRUNTS.]
Uh, it's a sign! Beebo does not want our clansman to be burned.
The Blue God has shown mercy.
[CHUCKLING.]
I luh-luh-love you.
[CHUCKLING.]
- I accidentally squeezed him.
- He's so damn huggable.
- [METALLIC SCRAPES.]
- Unhand him or die! [METALLIC SCRAPING.]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
- [YELLS.]
- [SWORDS CLANK.]
[ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING, WALLOPS AND GRUNTS.]
I am leaving myself wide open, and you can't land a single punch.
Uh, yeah, I'm just warming up.
Uh-huh.
Let's up the stakes then.
Loser takes the other's chores for a month.
Ha-ha! Deal.
I know what you're trying to do, by the way.
- What's that? - Tying to distract me.
I'm also trying to beat you.
Is the distraction working? - I still wanna warn Grey.
- So do it.
I would've warned my brother, if I had the chance.
- Yeah, but Sara - Just 'cause she's the Captain doesn't mean you have to do everything she says.
- Yeah, no, I know, but we - [MECHANICAL DOOR HISSES.]
Ah, Jefferson, there you are.
- [ECSTATIC GRUNT.]
- Ah, game over! Ah! Come come on! - I'm scary good at this.
- Uh, you're just okay.
Forgive the interruption, but I would very much like to return to my Clarissa and Lily, with or without that wretched Beebo.
Oh, yeah, sure, I'll take you in the jumpship.
Yo.
This is your chance.
Find some loophole, like I did with Helen of Troy.
You can save your friend's life.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
[SWORDS CLANKING, PEOPLE GRUNTING.]
[EXPLOSIVE WHOOSH, ROARING.]
Nathaniel! [ALL YELL.]
Nate! Nate! I'm open! [GRUNTS.]
- [LAUGHS.]
Oh - [GRUNTS.]
Bee Bow [FLAMES WHOOSH.]
I hate puppets.
Beebo [VOICE MODULATES.]
want cuddle [CHUCKLING.]
[DRONING, CLICKS.]
[TENSE TONE.]
[SOLEMN MUSIC.]
[GRUNTS.]
I know how much you wanted to believe, sister, but Beebo's a false God full of false promises.
We are Vikings.
This is our land to conquer.
It's time to go home and abandon this colony.
It seems the Old Gods have abandoned us.
Well, looks like the Legends have saved Odin Day.
Odin Day? Wait, you mean Christmas? Doesn't ring a bell.
[GROANS.]
I thought we fixed the Anachronism.
[LIGHTNING STRIKING.]
[INTENSE MUSIC.]
My name is Odin, ruler of Asgard.
Damien Darhk You know this guy? - And his daughter.
- See? I told you the Norse God costumes would work.
Bow to the King of the true Gods! He has left Valhalla to lead you into battle.
Together, we will conquer the New World.
Mick, no, we're outmatched.
Let's go.
[LIGHTNING STRIKES.]
Kneel before Odin, brother.
[LIGHTNING STRIKES, BUZZES.]
That was unexpected.
I mean, not the Darhks showing up.
They seem to enjoy altering history.
- You retreating.
- Well, Vikings are one thing.
If we're gonna tangle with the Darhks, we have to get our heads on straight.
I, for one, am glad you're treading cautiously.
We've arrived safely in the Temporal Zone, but I'm afraid the Anachronism has Let me guess, it's worse.
Thank you, Gideon.
[RUMBLING, CLATTERING.]
Another Timequake.
[SIGHS.]
We are not letting America go Viking.
Ava, can you call the Time Bureau for backup? Wait, wait, wait, are we really that desperate? [RUMBLING, BUZZING.]
[SIGHS.]
Yeah.
Well, the last time we faced Nora Darhk, - she put Sara in a coma.
- Right.
I'll, uh, speak to Director Bennett.
Thank you.
[MECHANICAL DOOR HISSES.]
Wow, that's, uh, quite the getup.
Where's Martin and Jax? Uh, they're on their way back to Central City.
Gotta get Martin home for the holidays.
[SOLEMN MUSIC.]
[ENGINE WHIRRING.]
You've been awfully quiet, Jefferson.
Uh, my bad.
I've just had some Some things on my mind.
[MECHANICAL DOOR HISSES.]
[CHUCKLES.]
It's good to be home.
[CHUCKLES.]
I can't wait to see Clarissa and Lily.
Listen this is gonna sound crazy, okay, but you need to open this letter on November 28th, 2017.
I've seen "Back to the Future," Jefferson, that that mockery of time travel that Clarissa adores.
I I don't suppose this letter has anything to do with my future.
Uh, this letter could save your life.
Then I categorically refuse to take it.
You know the dangers of trying to improve history.
No, no, this This is your future.
And your past.
Give me a little credit.
I I know the team was lying when they said I was visiting family for the holidays.
Then take the damn letter and stop being so stubborn.
[SIGHS.]
Think about your family.
This letter is a loophole.
Nothing changes until November 28th, 2017.
Please.
Okay, Jefferson.
[EXHALES.]
Thank you.
Hello, friend.
Looking for booze? I'm not your friend.
You almost died back there, and I know you're craving a drink.
That's why it's so important to resist! You have to stop numbing yourself to fear and pain.
That's when the true transformation begins! Mickey! You're right.
You're right.
I I apologize.
That that was his name.
Your Earth-X doppelganger was my best friend.
We grew up together in the Resistance.
And when he died, I I was devastated.
But seeing you made me realize [CHUCKLES.]
I was a long way from acceptance.
I didn't come onboard just to help you process your loss.
I came so I could process mine.
[GROWLING.]
Was that guttural sound your response? - To what? - My heartfelt confession.
I don't care.
I wasn't listening.
Well, the Mick Rory I knew did care, and he did listen.
He was the kindest, most selfless person I've ever met, a far cry from the crude, alcoholic, oafish waste of space before me.
I'm a disappointment? Well, the Leonard Snart that I knew was a cold, ruthless criminal, who didn't say boo about my drinking, because he knew I could get the job done! I don't like you.
You don't fit in.
Why don't you go back to that Nazi hellhole - you call home? - Well, if that's how you feel, then I'll leave, as soon as we return from Vinland.
- Good.
- Good.
- Good! - Good! Are we clear, Agent Sharpe? - Crystal, sir.
- [SCREEN WHIRS.]
Please tell me you have good news.
I'm afraid Director Bennett doesn't believe this mission is the best use of our resources.
So what, the Time Bureau is just gonna let the Darhks run around and change history? The Time Bureau's in disarray.
Ever since Rip was sentenced to prison, we Wait, Rip is in prison? He was hardly convincing at the tribunal, raving about Mallus, completely unapologetic.
And in his absence, Damien Darhk has recruited even more allies.
Gideon, can you pull up what Director Bennett showed me, please? [WHIRRING.]
Grodd survived Vietnam.
Darhk secured him a means of time travel.
Of course.
Darhk and his daughter are just too powerful.
They have magic that we don't understand.
We've lost scores of agents trying to fight them.
So what? What does that mean? That you're just gonna throw in the towel? [SIGHS.]
We can't afford to lose anyone else.
- And I can? - No, I mean Do you have any idea how hard this has been on us? I really am sorry, Sara.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
Director Bennett has ordered me to return to the Time Bureau, so Screw his orders.
I need you here.
Look, I know Darhk is personal for you, and you're the last person to back out of a fight, but you asked me to give you an outside perspective.
If you're concerned about the safety of your team, leave Vinland.
This is not a fight the Legends can win.
[CHIMES, WHOOSHING.]
[SIGHS.]
Hey.
- You rang? - Yes.
Heard you took young Stein back to 1992.
- Yep.
- How'd it go? He's just glad to be home.
Okay, here's the deal.
Backup is not coming.
The Time Bureau thinks the Darhks can't be defeated, and they're probably right.
Leo asked us to talk about our feelings.
Well, my feeling is that history needs us to stop the Darhks, but after losing Stein, I can't lose anyone else.
[SOFT, SLOW STRING MUSIC.]
I need you guys to take the Waverider and leave.
Not without you.
You can't face Darhk alone.
I have a plan.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
I'm here to speak to Odin.
Let her pass.
[TENSE MUSIC.]
My father will enjoy killing you.
You've come alone.
I'm here to make you an offer.
Oh, this ought to be good.
[WALLOPS AND GRUNTS.]
Whoo Leave now, and I'll let you live.
No.
[NECK CRACKS.]
Hold up.
Your plan sucks.
- Pretty's right.
- Well, I can't do nothing.
Yeah, but you can come up with a better plan that, like, doesn't get you killed.
Okay, Z, what's your big plan? Well, first of all, you don't enter the Longhouse by yourself.
[GRUNTS.]
My father will enjoy killing you.
You've come alone.
Not exactly.
[WHIRS, WHOOSHES.]
And then, Darhk will have some sort of quip.
Something evil, but not too mustache-twirly.
What, are you gonna huff and puff till you blow my house in? [YELLING, GRUNTING.]
[METALLIC SCRAPES.]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
What's the matter? Performance anxiety? - [GAGGING.]
- So far, this works, but it doesn't solve our Nora problem.
And what about the rest of the Vikings? Odin is under attack! Defend him, if you wanna see Valhalla.
You're gonna need backup.
Listen, Sara, just don't let Grey's death teach us the wrong lessons.
Either we do this together or not at all.
[SOLEMN MUSIC.]
Gideon, plot a course for Vinland.
[MUSIC BUILDS.]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
[WHOOSHES.]
What, are you gonna huff and puff till you blow my house in? [METALLIC SCRAPES.]
What's the matter? Performance anxiety? [BODY THUDDING.]
[GRUNTS.]
Ah! Odin is under attack! Defend him, if you wanna see Valhalla.
Halt.
[CHUCKLES.]
It is I, Beebo, risen from the grave.
Like Christ himself.
Yeah [COUGHING.]
Yes, Jesus is the one true God, which [VOICE MODULATES.]
Doesn't mean science or evolution isn't real.
Anyway, you need to return to Greenland, which, um, will soon be melting, thanks to global warming, which is also real.
[TENSE MUSIC.]
- [WHOOSHES.]
- [GASPS.]
Whoo! [GASPS.]
Like a little fire? - How 'bout a little ice? - [COLD GUN WHIRS, BLASTS.]
[GRUNTS.]
[BUZZES, CRACKLES.]
[INHALES SHARPLY.]
Nora They killed the Valkyrie! [WHOOSHES, ROARS.]
[ALL YELLING.]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
- [GRUNTS.]
- Ah! [GRUNTING AND CLANKING.]
Nora! [LIGHTNING STRIKES, RUMBLES.]
[SOLEMN MUSIC.]
Not this time.
[WHOOSHES.]
[GASPS.]
[SAND SWISHING.]
Sara Lance.
Who's there? Who are you? [BREATHES HEAVILY.]
What is this place? I am Mallus.
Soon I will be free, and your world will know unendurable pain.
[TENSE MUSIC.]
[BOTH GRUNT.]
[BOTH BREATHING HEAVILY.]
You came back.
It's like you said, you needed me.
Well, your timing is impeccable.
[EXHALES.]
It's a Christmas miracle.
Yes.
Whoo-hoo! There is nothing physically ailing you, Captain Lance.
Told you.
I'm fine.
[SCOFFS.]
You also told me you visited an alternate dimension.
[SIGHS.]
Well, it wasn't my first time.
Sara tell me exactly what you saw in there.
Look, I don't know, okay? It wasn't about what I saw.
It was about what I felt.
It was an absence of feeling: no warmth, no love, just a void, and the only thing filling the void was Mallus.
[OMINOUS MUSIC.]
It seems Rip was right to be obsessed with him.
I need to tell the Bureau.
Well, aren't you afraid of getting in trouble for disobeying orders? It was worth it.
See ya again.
Gideon, how's the ol' timeline? Records show that history has been restored.
New Valhalla is North America again, and the only war Beebo has incited is in shopping malls across the nation.
Sounds like our work here is done.
Gideon, you're sure there are no other changes to the timeline? If you're referring to Professor Stein, he still died in 2017.
I'm sorry, Jax.
Wait I I just don't understand.
Uh, the loophole, it it should've worked.
That letter told him exactly how to protect himself on the day he died.
Wh what happened? Uh [SIGHS.]
he He must not have read it.
[SOMBER PIANO MUSIC.]
[DISTRESSED SIGH.]
Oh! Hey, Lily! A little birdie told me you wanted one of these guys.
- [CHUCKLING.]
- Beebo! I love him! - [CHUCKLES.]
Happy Hanukah.
- [GASPS SOFTLY.]
Clarissa, you remember Jefferson.
- You haven't aged a day.
- Neither have you.
Can I get you some Earl Grey? Uh, yeah, sure.
Come on.
[CHUCKLES.]
I think I know why you're here.
Come in.
The letter, you never read it.
That's because I already burned it.
What? I I was tempted, to be sure.
I thought a lot about that date.
November 28th, 2017.
I'll be 67 then.
I'll have had adventures, watched my daughter grow up, and I'll have made a friend, who was willing to risk far, far too much for me.
No, I I am trying to save you You need to let me go.
We both know you shouldn't be here.
I I may have a life ahead of me, but to you, - I'm a ghost.
- No, no, to me I'm not gonna cheat death, Jefferson.
None of us live forever, and yet, I clearly live a wonderful life with many chapters.
And if I had one wish, it it wouldn't be for me to prolong my life.
It would be for you to live yours, and to have all the happiness you deserve.
[EXHALES.]
Okay.
[SOFT, SLOW STRING MUSIC.]
[EXHALES.]
Goodbye, Grey.
Goodbye, Jefferson.
[WHIRRING, RUMBLING.]
[MECHANICAL DOOR HISSES.]
Did you try to change his fate? Didn't work, so, uh I'm sorry, Jax.
Me too.
If I stay on this ship, I'll never be able to move on.
What do you mean? Like you wanna leave? You you can't leave, Jax.
No, you're you're not leaving.
You're a part of this team.
Yeah, and I always will be, but right now, uh, this is something I gotta do.
I need a different kind of adventure.
Is this what you really want? Yeah.
I would order you to stay, but I know you'd just disobey me and follow your heart, like you always do.
[MUFFLED EXHALE.]
Hey Can you do me a favor? Don't tell the others until I'm gone.
I don't do goodbyes.
It's it's not my thing.
Yeah, yeah.
Totally, I get it.
Okay.
[SOFT PIANO MUSIC.]
[MECHANICAL DOOR HISSES.]
[LIGHTS CLICKING ON.]
- Surprise! - Boo! You didn't really think we were just gonna let you sneak out of here without saying goodbye.
Yeah, we can't celebrate the holidays without the whole family.
Happy Yuletide.
Jingle bell jingle bell Jingle bell rock Well, I think we made an impressive team out there.
Hm.
Reminded me of old times.
Mm.
L'chaim.
Jingle bell jingle bell - Mmm.
- As you can taste, I reprogrammed Gideon.
I should not have tried to change you, and I'm sorry, Mick.
To the ones we lost, or left behind.
[BOTTLES CLINK.]
- [GLASS CLINKING.]
- Speech - ALL: Speech - [CLINKING.]
- Speech, speech, speech.
- Oh Okay, all right.
Uh, when Grey first dragged me onboard this ship, uh, I thought it was the last place that I wanted to be.
I mean, you were all a bunch of screw-ups, uh, B-list superheroes, washed up bank robbers, no offense - [MOUTHS WORD.]
- But, uh the thing is, when you get a bunch of broken pieces, and you put 'em all together the right way, they make something new, and suddenly, they don't feel so broken anymore [SOFT PIANO MUSIC.]
And I'm pretty sure that's what a family is.
So, uh I don't know what happens next, but I know I'll always have a family here with you guys.
- That's right.
- Damn right, little brother.
- Always.
- [MOUTHS WORD.]
[EMOTIVE STRING MUSIC.]
Cheers.
[GLASSES CLINKING.]
Well it's been an honor, Captain.
Come here.
Hey [CHUCKLES.]
[EXHALES.]
I'm sure it's only gonna be a matter of time before some Aztecs with jetpacks invade Central City, so [SOFT, SLOW STRING MUSIC.]
And the honor's been all mine.
[SIGHS.]
[MUSIC BUILDS.]
[MECHANICAL DOOR HISSES.]
[MATCH CLICKS.]
It's been a long time, love.
John? [AERY AMBIENT MUSIC.]
Now, let's see, the last time we met, I saved your soul.
Now there's something you can do for me.
Look, I'd love to help, but your timing is terrible.
Uh, this won't take long.
You see, there's a demon out there.
It's possessing a little girl.
And that demon, he knows your name.