Holly Hobbie (2018) s03e09 Episode Script

1
‐ The grass is always greener.
Especially at summer camp.
I mean, camp is the place
where you're supposed to be
making perfect memories
to last a lifetime.
‐ But what if you're allergic to grass?
(sighing)
‐ Wow.
Going on an impromptu safari?
‐ It's my counsellor‐in‐training
interview, remember?
‐ Are you sure summer camp
is really your thing, baby?
‐ Yes! What's not to love?
We're gonna stay up all night
gossiping in our bunks,
we're gonna make s'mores
and wish on shooting stars!
Some cute counsellor boy will
hear me sing at the start of camp,
and he'll fall in love with my voice,
but he won't know who I am,
so he'll desperately
try to find me
until I sing again
at the final campfire,
where we'll do a duet and
we will live happily ever after.
‐ Is that the plot from that movie
you've watched a million times?
‐ Loosely.
‐ And you realize
there won't be any Jonas
Brothers at this camp, right?
But you know
what there will be?
Mud and bugs, manual labour.
Not exactly
your favourite thing.
‐ Amy and Holly love this place,
and they're my best friends!
I'll love it!
I pretty much have to.
‐ You're not just doing this
to distract yourself
from your recent breakup‐‐
‐ Do not!
Do you not want me to go
or something?
‐ I'm just making sure you really want
to do this. It's two whole months!
‐ Mom, I'm gonna miss you, too,
but you won't even be here.
You'll be in Paris
having your own adventure.
‐ Well, mostly doing graphic
design in some office.
But I showed the team the work you did for
Holly this year, and they were really impressed.
And they asked if you wanted to come
and be an intern for the summer!
‐ Are you kidding me?
‐ You and me, the streets of Paris, baby.
Art, fashion, food, culture
‐ That sounds amazing,
but I really don't want to miss
out on camp with my friends.
They talk about this place
like it's heaven on Earth!
(sighing)
‐ Okay.
I just thought you should have
all the information.
‐ Thank you, but I have to go.
I can't be late. (sighing)
(chuckling)
‐ Bye.
You and me
run to a different beat ♪
We are brave
Lead the way ♪
Lead the way ♪
Be the you inside ♪
And watch the world
take flight ♪
We are brave
Lead the way ♪
Lead the way ♪
Be the change ♪
Be the change ♪
Gotta be the change ♪♪
(quiet sigh)
(bird‐like screeching)
(screeching)
(screeching and laughter)
‐ That's the official camp greeting.
You'll be saying it at least 10 times
a day. Why don't you give it a try?
(weak screech)
‐ Oh, you're just not quite hitting the screech.
‐ Don't worry.
We'll help you figure it out.
But first,
the official grand tour.
Okay, so that is the mess hall, where
we'll be having all our magical meals.
Uh, these are the cabins.
‐ Ten people fit in them?
‐ They're much bigger on the inside.
‐ Big enough for bathrooms?
‐ No, but the bathrooms are right there.
‐ And where do we shower?
‐ In the lake, silly!
‐ Did you know that if you don't use shampoo
for about six weeks, your hair
will start to clean itself?
‐ Six weeks?
‐ We're kidding. (laughter)
Okay? There's a shower house
behind the camp office.
Don't worry, it takes
a little getting used to,
but this place
can be really magical.
Just wait until you see‐‐
‐ My ex‐boyfriend.
‐ You didn't know he was coming?
‐ You know what?
It didn't come up when he was
stomping all over my heart, but
if I have my girls,
I can do anything.
‐ Alright, gather 'round,
my little future,
potential eaglets.
I am the head counsellor,
and today we embark
on the most important flight
of your young lives:
CIT tryouts.
This morning we're gonna go
through some camp procedures,
and then you'll get
right to our skills test.
‐ There's a test?
‐ Don't worry.
It's easy stuff.
It's chipmunk stuff.
‐ Oh, that's what we call
the youngest campers.
‐ No one's ever failed it.
‐ You'll do fine, come on!
‐ Okay, is this everything
that she asked for?
‐ I think so? I still can't believe
some person loves my jam enough
to hire me to start a jam line
for their company in Madison.
‐ How can you watch this?
‐ Sounds like he's doing great.
‐ Yeah, Dad, that's a problem. Because
if he gets this job, he's gonna leave.
‐ No.
‐ Robbie, I'm blown away.
I don't know
how to say no to this.
‐ Oh, maybe.
‐ So do something!
‐ Like what?
‐ Okay, um
We'll frame him:
I will crash his truck,
and you ground him for life.
(stammering)
‐ Listen
I think it's very sweet that
you want your older brother
to stay here,
but he's an adult.
It's his decision.
‐ And sent!
(mom chuckling)
(sighing)
‐ Fine. Then I'm gonna make this
the hardest decision of his life.
(birdsong)
‐ Okay, Piper,
I want you to give me a bowline knot.
(laughing)
‐ It's knotty and nice.
Get it?
‐ Alright,
let's see those muscles!
(grunting)
‐ Yes!
(exclaiming)
‐ Whoa, whoa, whoa!
‐ Oh, oh, oh!
(laughter)
(Piper): Come on,
come on, come on!
‐ Not gonna keep you warm
like that.
‐ No, no, no, no.
(striking match)
Yes!
(laughing)
I am so glad that is over.
(squealing)
‐ The absolute best part is next!
‐ What is it, s'mores?
Singalong?
‐ Alright, time for everyone's
favourite adventure
the overnight solo!
‐ Is she serious?
‐ Yes! We get to hike
out on our own,
cook our own food
and sleep under the stars.
‐ I thought we'd be, you know,
sleeping in our cabins
and gossiping in our bunks
to get a feel for it.
‐ Our camp does overnights
with the kiddos,
so I gotta make sure you can
make it out there on your own
before I let you take
a dozen rug rats.
‐ But I can call my friends
if I need anything, right?
‐ Afraid not.
(sighing)
Phones in the bucket.
‐ Goodbye, dear friend.
But, I mean,
I'll be okay, right?
‐ The odds of anything
bad happening
are infinitesimally small.
‐ That's not a yes!
‐ Don't worry.
By this time tomorrow,
we will be official CITs!
(laughter)
(bird‐like screeching
and distant response)
(screeching
and distant response)
(screeching)
(sighing)
(sighing)
‐ Alright, let's do this.
(sighing)
Okay.
I guess it doesn't come
with instructions.
Okay
(thunder rumbling)
(sighing)
‐ Okay, I'm on your six.
‐ Behind you.
Got him! Yes!
‐ Yes! Let's go!
‐ Whoo! You were right,
this game rules.
‐ I told you!
We make a great team.
Where you going?
‐ Just to get a drink.
‐ Sit. Check it.
‐ Oh!
‐ It's pretty sick.
‐ Whoa!
(laughing)
‐ And
(Robbie sipping)
‐ Gimme some of that!
(Heather laughing)
This is the greatest night
of my life.
‐ And the best part is, they do
these tournaments every Saturday.
So we can do this all year.
‐ Well, I mean,
unless I get that job.
‐ Right, yeah. That. Um
so don't take it.
‐ You don't think I should?
‐ Well, if you leave,
you're gonna miss out
on a lot around here.
‐ I guess. I'm not even sure
that I want it.
Am I even the type of guy to get a job
like that? In an office? In a suit?
I think it's more likely she thinks my
business plan is dumb and never responds.
(sighing)
‐ Where you going now?
‐ Unless you got some kind of
surprise portable toilet around here
‐ Yeah, okay. You
(buzzing)
"Congratulations.
We would love to offer you
a job at Swardson Fine Foods."
"Thank you
for the opportunity
but I'll have to decline."
‐ Okay, when does
the next round start?
‐ Uh, 60 seconds. Ready?
‐ Oh, I could do this all year.
(chuckling)
(sighing)
(rustling)
(strange sounds)
(strange sounds)
(strange animal sounds)
‐ Nope! Nope! Nope! Big nope!
(thunder rumbling)
(panting)
Holly?!
Amy?!
(strange animal sounds)
Holly?!
Amy!
Holly! Amy?!
Holly? Amy?
(tuneful whistling)
‐ Ah! How'd you sleep?
‐ Like a baby.
Except the good kind, not the kind
that wakes up to cry every two hours.
(laughing)
‐ Ah, I love it out here.
The fresh air
just makes me feel so
(deep breath)
I really hope
that Piper loved it too.
Ooh, do you think that we're
about to meet "Camp Piper"?
‐ Ooh, maybe.
Oh, no.
What do you think happened here?
(Holly stammering)
‐ There's no sign of her.
‐ Maybe she just went
to the bathroom.
‐ Piper?
‐ Piper!
‐ Piper!
‐ Piper?
‐ Piper!
‐ Piper!
(sighing)
Amy?
‐ What's going on?
Something wrong?
‐ We can't find Piper.
‐ There you are.
I made you breakfast.
Well, actually Dad did,
but, um
I put it on the plate!
So
Looks good, right?
What's wrong?
‐ I feel like such an idiot.
‐ Um, you'll have to be more specific.
‐ I didn't get the job, alright?
I got a voicemail from the lady saying,
"I'm sorry we won't be working together."
‐ Um, well, you weren't sure
you even wanted the job anyway.
So, uh, why don't you eat
these eggs and then‐‐
‐ Of course I wanted it!
‐ But you said‐‐
‐ Yeah, I know what I said.
I think just, deep down, I didn't
think I was gonna get it.
And I was right.
I don't know
why I got my hopes up.
Now all my friends are gonna
get real jobs and
and I'm just gonna be here.
I'm just some idiot screw‐up.
‐ You're not.
‐ Yeah, well, I have a voicemail
that says otherwise.
‐ That isn't what she's saying.
She's saying she's sorry
you won't be working together,
because she wanted to give you
the job, you just
said you didn't want it.
‐ No, I didn't.
‐ Not technically.
I kinda did it for you.
She sent an email saying that
you got the job, and I saw it,
and I took your phone and I told her no,
and then, I deleted all the evidence.
‐ How could you do that?!
‐ Because I wanted you to stay!
I'm really sorry.
And I'll fix it.
‐ How? How are you gonna fix it?
‐ I don't know! I just I will, okay?
I promise.
Please don't hate me.
‐ Ah!
(Piper gasping)
What are you doing here?
‐ My solo trip last night
was awful.
And I saw a spider and I was
running through the forest and
I don't know, I ended up here.
‐ Oh, yeah, camp is, like,
20 minutes that way.
I used to come back
for candy all the time.
‐ Wait, what time is it?
‐ Eight‐ish?
‐ I have to get back to camp
before anyone knows I'm gone!
‐ Didn't you just say
it was awful?
‐ Well, yeah, but
if I don't go,
then everyone will have
this awesome time without me,
and I won't understand
any of their inside jokes,
and I'll be alone
and miserable.
Can you just please
drive me back?
‐ To the exact place where
you were just alone and miserable?
I'm just saying,
is it really worth it
to go to a place
that you think is terrible
just to be with your friends,
who actually like it?
‐ Yes.
(Holly): Piper!
Piper!
‐ Pipes!!
‐ Piper!
‐ Piper!
(sighing)
You guys, I'm starting
to get really worried.
I don't know
where she could be.
‐ About 10 feet away.
(exclaiming)
‐ Piper, you're alive!
Uh, hey, Robbie!
‐ I am so sorry.
My fire wouldn't light
and something ate my food,
and I I just
couldn't do it all night.
Does everyone know I was gone?
‐ Sorta one of the drawbacks
of having a search party
is that you need
everyone's help.
‐ I really don't want to
miss out on camp with you two.
Is there anything I can do
to salvage this?
‐ Maybe you can make up for it
during the final interview?
‐ Okay.
Yeah, tell me everything I'm
supposed to say. I'm gonna nail this.
‐ Thank you for helping me clean up the camp.
‐ Of course.
‐ Oh, it's gonna be so much fun having my
future sister‐in‐law as a CIT this summer.
Hey! Are you trying to sneak
a peek at my CIT evaluations?
‐ No!
Okay, yes.
I just want to know
if Piper made it.
(laughing)
‐ Piper?
‐ Come on. She wasn't that bad.
I mean, she did the skills
part okay, right?
‐ Yeah, and to be honest,
she gave an amazing interview.
But the overnight?
I mean, the sheer scale
of her failure was impressive.
(sighing)
‐ I know she
had a bad night last night.
She'd be a really
good counsellor.
Trust your future sister‐in‐law?
(loud exhale)
‐ Here. It's your favourite.
Chocolate tuxedo cake
from the Calico.
‐ To celebrate the fact
that you got me my job back?
(sighing)
‐ I called the lady
and I explained what happened,
and I told her how good
you'd be,
but, um she'd already given
the job to somebody else.
‐ Yeah, I know. She told me.
Too bad it was too late.
‐ I'm so sorry, Robbie.
I don't know what I'd do here
without you.
I mean,
Holly has her own stuff,
and Mom and Dad
are always so busy,
and I just
You're my rock, my my guy.
I just
Can you just please tell me
how I can make it up to you?
‐ I don't know, find some
other way I can be successful?
As if that's even possible.
‐ But you already
are successful.
‐ Ah, true.
"Everybody is successful
in our own special way,"
or whatever.
‐ No, I mean,
this lady really wanted you,
because you're already good
at making jam.
And she really liked
your business plan.
You could really do this!
‐ On my own?
‐ No. I want in.
‐ Mom, you don't have to say
that to make me feel better.
‐ Oh, I'm not, Robbie.
I loved your business plan.
In fact, I got a little bit
jealous when I realized
that a stranger
might get first dibs.
Because to be honest,
I've been looking.
‐ So, what, we're just gonna try
and sell it in stores, in restaurants?
‐ Yes, your entire plan,
all of it.
I even looked into co‐signing
a small‐business loan.
‐ Are you serious?
‐ Yeah.
I mean, if you're looking
for a partner.
‐ Huh. Well, you know what? I think
it depends. What's your experience?
‐ I gave birth to you.
‐ Okay! You're hired!
‐ Great.
‐ When can we get started?
‐ Why don't you take
a break tonight
and you can have some cake
with your sister?
And then we will dig in
tomorrow morning.
‐ Okay, fine.
I'll grab two forks.
But you gotta listen to me brainstorm
some new jam‐flavour ideas.
‐ One, I already got 'em.
And two,
I could do that all year.
‐ That's great news, 'cause
you're gonna be doing a lot of it
when you're grounded
for the next couple of weeks.
(groaning)
(mock groan)
Partner?
‐ Partner.
‐ Alright.
‐ Dig in.
‐ Oh, yeah.
‐ Oh, yeah!
‐ Oh, that was so good.
‐ It is so good.
(sighing)
‐ This is taking forever!
‐ Don't worry,
she's gonna call soon.
‐ For you guys, maybe.
Not for me.
‐ There are my new
Eagle Creek CITs!
You get a hoodie.
You get a hoodie.
‐ Oh!
‐ And you get a hoodie. You all made it!
‐ I may have put in
a good word for you.
‐ Aren't you all so excited to spend
the whole summer at camp?
‐ Go on, put it on!
‐ Look, I love the idea
of spending the summer
with you two.
But every other part of camp I hate
with the fire of a thousand suns.
‐ Oh.
‐ That's a lot.
‐ Why didn't you say anything?
‐ I thought I could learn
to love it.
But a wise man made me realize I'd
only be doing it for you two, not me.
Okay, fine, it was Robbie,
but he made some good points.
I can't go to summer camp
with you two.
‐ Are you sure you're gonna
be okay here all by yourself?
Actually, I'm going to Paris
with my mom.
‐ Paris?!
(laughter)
How would you even consider
going to camp with us?
‐ That's how much
I love you guys.
I'm sorry, Lyla.
‐ Honestly, I'm pretty relieved.
That was one of the worst solos
I've ever seen.
But have fun in Paris. Bye.
(laughter)
(both): Ooh‐la‐la!
(laughter)
(Holly): Just because
the grass is greener for others
doesn't mean
that it will be for you.
But that's okay.
Don't sweat it.
Just go find yourself
some different grass.
Or as they call the grass
in Paris, "le gazon."
(laughing)