Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman s03e09 Episode Script
Super Mann
You see.
-Okay, I got it.
-To the left.
We made it.
But is it our world or theirs? There.
What are you staring at, bub? We lost.
And America won.
We will correct this.
There is nothing that can stop us.
Come on.
My bear! My bear.
Is that superman? Speak English.
It's superman.
What if there are more like him in America? Then that is simply another obstacle we must overcome.
Hail the new Reich.
I'm Senator Truman Black.
We've been waiting a long time.
Won't you please get in? I always liked his songs.
Four indicted in National lntelligence Agency scandal by Lois Lane and Clark Kent.
oh, look.
oh, well, these are sort of interesting.
Jeez, I don't think I'm gonna look good in one of these.
That's nice.
Yep, I bet they're not too happy with us over at the N.
I.
A.
right about now.
Probably a little ticked.
You know, we should be booking a church now.
If you wanna get married in a church.
or we could do something nontraditional.
As long as it's not too weird because I don't really think that that's me.
Unless that's you.
No, no, no.
Either way.
I was actually just thinking about invitations.
Catering.
-The band.
-We're so far behind.
-Lois, we haven't even set a date yet.
-I know, we're late on that too.
Police.
Call police.
Don't worry, sir.
Help is on its way.
No.
A bomb in the basement.
A bomb? In the basement? What basement? Metropolis Trade Tower.
It's gonna be all right, sir.
GSW through the chest.
-There's a pulse, but it's fading.
-Help! Don't let them take me away, please! It's okay.
They'll take good care of you.
They're taking you to the hospital.
-We'll have you there in no time.
-That's right.
Don't try to speak right now.
Save your strength.
Taxi! -Metropolis Trade Tower.
-okay, get in.
All right.
-Superman? -over here.
Find anything? Nothing.
I x-rayed the whole place.
Nothing -except this.
-What is it? Coal dust.
This is one of the most modern buildings in Metropolis.
-They wouldn't use coal for anything.
-Exactly.
Steve? Hey, Steve, how about a few words for the camera? -Y eah, sure.
-Get in here.
It was a heck of a game.
And all I got to say to the 49ers is: You better look out because we 're going to clean your socks.
Yeah! Great going, Steve.
Well, whether Steve Law means socks or clocks the 49ers better look out because the long arm of the law is going to the Super Bowl.
Hey, Steve, nice speech.
Don't make fun of him, man.
Steve's my man.
He can do no wrong.
-Yeah, he's going all the way.
-ln an alternate universe.
That's funny.
What a dip.
-I think that's gonna be a good game.
-oh, it's gonna be great.
Wallace, you looking for a pay cut? Get back to your cubbyhole in Classifieds.
Jimmy, where are those shots of Lisa Rockford for the supermodel article? And I need the gourmet pet food piece photos too.
on my way, chief.
You know, one of these days he's gonna be very sorry.
If he could just give me a chance, I could be a reporter.
-I can spell.
-I hear you.
You know that Hank West song? Just cause you got a bigger salary Don 't make you a bigger man I mean, think about it.
Why are we doing a story on pet food when there are people starving in T exas.
I mean, it's un-American.
And he knows it.
Yeah.
Well, I gotta get my lower-salary butt in gear, man.
I'll see you.
Now, Perry, you sure I can't persuade you to skip school -and play a little golf this afternoon? -No can do, Truman.
I gotta keep this rabble here in line.
I think you're afraid you're gonna lose to an old man.
Hey, would I lie to a United States senator? You can't hide forever.
I'll see you.
All right.
Listen up, everybody.
Look who's decided to join us this morning.
Give it up for Lois and Clark.
Chief, we were on a story.
I bet you were.
Someone said there was a bomb in the basement of the Metropolis Trade T ower.
Ask the police, ask Superman.
We were there checking it out.
-So? Was there? -No.
That ought to be a pretty easy story to write then.
Short and sweet.
Heck, I can write that one myself.
You all probably have more important things to do like planning a wedding.
Chief, here's your supermodel.
Who makes these people? Come on, Lois.
You are much better looking than Lisa Rockford.
See how well trained I have him already? Perry, does Alice say stuff like that to you? -I mean-- -oh, that's all right, Clark.
You know, things between me and Alice aren't so hot right now.
Particularly since I got my first call from her divorce lawyer last night.
All right.
Well, you know, when we were first engaged, there was a-- There was a time there I couldn't remember a story I wrote.
My feet didn't touch the ground for six months.
But you two-- You'll do fine.
-Sweet, huh? -Yeah.
Hey, who told you about the bomb threat? Well, what is this? A wax museum? Now get me the rest of that story, or you're both fired.
I think he's handling the Alice thing really well.
Hey, Steve, how about a few words for the camera? It was a heck of a game.
And all I got to say to the 49ers is: You better look out because we are going to clean your socks.
Clean their socks.
Clean their socks? He is a superman.
-You are a super-idiot.
-They barely noticed.
He's right.
It was just a sportscaster and 50 million other Americans.
What does it matter? In two days we can drop this ridiculous pretense.
How can you be so dense? For two years we've been recruiting new members from all across the country.
Fifty years ago, were sent here undercover from the fatherland.
T oday, they are captains of industry.
Men and women of power and influence.
They have spent years preparing and planting backgrounds for us.
They have smoothed the way for us to become an overnight success and lead this country to the new Reich.
As I recall, Stockdale was a member of this chosen youth.
And look how he wound up.
A pathetic old man who loved this country more than he loved the fatherland.
He was spreading the word about the bomb we placed in the Trade T ower until I found out, and I had him stopped.
-I suggest the two of you don't forget.
-Enough! I'll take Voss and talk to Lane and Kent.
See if Stockdale told them anything else before the ambulance came.
Sometimes, folks are a little more open around celebrities.
No more slip-ups.
Now smile for the cameras.
Where are we in regard to the Superman situation? Since all reported attempts to kill him in the past have failed I've decided to go with our alternate plan.
Instead of trying to assassinate him, we will simply banish him forever.
Good.
Once he's gone, the government and the banks will fall into line.
And where the banks go, everyone else follows.
Then Canada.
Then Latin America will be next.
.
They are both weak.
-Then Europe.
- What about Russia? - We will crush them just like we started to in 1942.
And then we will assume our rightful place as world leader.
okay, thank you.
Lois, the police have no record of the accident.
Well, they probably haven't filed it yet.
They' re busy too, just like Superman.
Ms.
Lane? Mr.
Kent? Hi, I'm Detective Carter.
-This is-- -Hank West.
I'm a big fan.
Ma'am.
Mr.
Kent.
Hope you don't mind me tagging along.
Hollywood got the idea of putting me in a detective movie, and I'm just checking things out.
No, it's no problem at all.
Might I have a word with you about the accident this morning? Yeah, sure.
Who was that guy, anyway? His name is William Stockdale.
Age 70.
Did Mr.
Stockdale mention anything other than the location of the alleged bomb? Anything that might indicate somebody other than himself was involved? -No, he really didn't say much at all.
-He seemed extremely worried.
Actually, almost terrified.
If I was playing a role like that I might have played terrified too.
Babbling my head off, throw in a cuss word here and there.
Then I would have let slip that one important, vital clue.
-Like they always do.
-oh, I hate when they do that.
Anyway, he didn't say anything else.
Why talk about a bomb in the first place? oh, let me tell you, you get shot, your mind's a world of confusion.
Thanks for your time.
Sorry to bother you, but we gotta go through the motions.
Detective Carter? How did Mr.
Stockdale happen to get himself shot, anyway? Carjacking attempt.
Ma'am.
Mr.
Kent.
Mr.
West? You probably heard this before, but I just wanted to tell you that I have this cousin who was sort of depressed and, well, when she heard your song "The First Person You Can Count on is Yourself" it really turned her life around.
-So thanks.
-Hey, you're welcome, ma'am.
Well, he's kind of handsome.
Taller than I thought.
He wears lifts in his boots.
They said Stockdale was shot in the back.
That's not likely if you're sitting in your car.
Well, maybe he was twisting to get away.
Fine, we'll ask him ourselves.
Hello? Yes, I'd like to speak to Mr.
William Stockdale.
He was admitted around 9 a.
m.
Yes.
No, I'm certain.
Well, I saw him put in the ambulance.
okay, thank you.
-There's no record of him being admitted.
-okay.
You start with the hospitals, I'll check the funeral homes.
-ls Hank West still here? -oh, you just missed him.
oh, man.
He's the greatest.
-He certainly has a huge following.
-That's because he tells the truth.
Now Hank West isn't afraid to tell it like it is.
He sticks up for the little guy.
You know, America used to be great.
And he wants to put it back on track.
-Yikes.
-Yikes.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
What are you doing? Balki, I am doing this for Jennifer's own good.
-We don't have time for this.
-l' m studying my English.
Balki, what happened to your hair? -I dried it in the microwave.
-Do I have to order you? You don't order me.
We were chosen for this.
We were bred for this.
We are the masters of the master race.
The true supermen.
And not just you.
Stop it! -What happened with Lane and Kent? -They know nothing.
But they' re inquisitive, as are all good reporters.
-We should kill them.
Why take a chance? -And draw more attention to us? Why not just take out an ad? What would you have us do? Forget about our plan to eliminate Superman? Dismantle the organization? Settle down like some good Americans and get a mortgage and some cable TV? You really believe those pathetic songs you sing.
-Not everything here is worth destroying.
-America is morally bankrupt.
-You don't know what you' re saying.
-oh, don't l? You've turned, just like Stockdale.
Shut up, both of you.
We're here to fight the Americans, not each other.
If we kill them, we should blame the deaths of Lane and Kent on others.
Say one of those overseas terrorist cells.
Why waste a perfectly good opportunity? Why not blame the National lntelligence Agency? They must hate Lane and Kent after that last series of articles.
Kill three birds with one stone.
oh, did I say that correctly, Hank? He's right though.
They need to be eliminated.
Since you two seem to enjoy bickering so much, I'll take care of it myself.
A 70-year-old man with a gunshot wound can't just disappear into thin air.
Maybe he was taken to a private doctor or was admitted under another name.
It's all so frustrating.
Lois, we can call the hospitals again tomorrow and ask them-- No, not that.
our wedding.
It's a disaster.
Lois, come on.
It'll all work out.
-How? Are you gonna help? -of course.
Well, good.
Because I just happen to have this list here of things to do.
You take this page, and I'll take this one.
All this? Lois, this is a wedding, not a coronation.
-You're backpedaling.
-I'm not backpedaling.
I'm just saying that this is an awful lot of stuff for one wedding.
I may not be here to do all this stuff all the time, who knows-- Clark.
Lois, it's me, Jimmy.
We'll finish this later.
These are bomb threats the cops have gotten in the last two years.
These are all the other strange things or robberies that have been reported.
Looks like fun reading.
-Anything weird? -It's all weird.
We live in Metropolis.
See you later, guys.
So bomb threats or other stuff? I'll take other stuff for 50.
-What? -Give me a minute.
Lose something? Ms.
Rockford? Would you mind stepping out of the van please, Ms.
Rockford? -She's dead.
-What happened? Cyanide.
It's just so bizarre.
She was a supermodel.
Why would she be trying to kill us? She must have been terrified to take that cyanide.
or dedicated.
Detective? If there's nothing else, I'd like to escort Ms.
Lane to her apartment.
Be my guest.
Clark? Lois, I know.
It's okay.
No, it's not that.
I mean, it is but it isn't.
It's just all these brushes with death.
Who knows what's gonna happen next? I mean, we think that life goes on and on and on, but maybe it doesn't.
Do you know what I'm saying? Yes.
Lois, are you okay? I just heard what happened.
Just a minute.
I was on my way back to tell you something I just remembered and then I saw all those cops and stuff.
Am I interrupting something? No, no, not at all.
-ls he, Clark? -No, no, not at all.
-We were discussing those papers.
-I wanted to talk to you about that.
one thing I noticed: Two years ago, there was a string of burglaries and attempted burglaries, where the guys spoke German.
They never caught them though.
Weird, huh? I'd say that qualifies.
Clark.
Lois.
-Where's that bomb-threat story? -Working on it, chief.
Lisa Rockford tried to kill us last night.
-We think they're related.
-Really? What did she try to do? Bat you to death with her eyelashes? You' re serious.
Lisa Rockford? This is huge.
Rocket-propelled grenade through the window.
We traced the number from the launcher to the National lntelligence Agency but-- What? Lisa Rockford is a spy for the N.
I.
A.
? Who's next? Madonna? No, no, no, this whole thing stinks.
For starters, the N.
I.
A.
would never leave serial numbers on anything.
Sounds to me like somebody's trying to frame them.
-Maybe you're right.
-Yeah.
oh, look, I know I've been uptight and irritable lately.
Quick to judge.
Quick to condemn.
Sometimes, I've been downright mean.
But what I'm trying to say is that you-- Well, you can expect more of the same.
-Mr.
White, I wonder if I might talk-- -Not now, Chip.
-I'm on a rampage.
-It's Skip.
Whatever.
Supermodel or terrorist? Supermodel or terrorist? I mean, how do you wake up in the morning and decide to be that? Good question.
Let's start with her background and see what turns up.
Interesting.
There's a record of her birth certificate at Mercy Hospital in Metropolis.
But no record of her parents checking in or out.
Maybe the birth certificate's a plant? Let's see what we can do with her fingerprints.
She knew what she was doing.
-We have to postpone.
-We are an army waiting to strike.
An army doesn't stop because one soldier dies.
She wasn't just a soldier.
She was one of us.
We have been weakened.
We must be strong again before we can strike.
The truth is you don't wanna strike.
That would mean an end to your adoring fans.
-Shut up.
-You've turned your back against the fatherland.
All you wanna do is stay on tour and rake in millions.
That's the American way.
The fatherland is gone.
The war is gone.
Don't you see? All we are are the last echoing death throes of an idea buried 50 years ago.
-No, we can still win.
The idea still lives.
-No! And I say, "Y es.
" Remove the traitor.
Yes, sir.
Where is Western Reich Fuhrer van Hagen? He has been executed for treason.
On whose authority? Mine.
He wanted to dismantle the organization.
-Any further questions? -No.
All dissenters must be dealt with in this way, if necessary.
Good.
The time has come.
You'll broadcast your phony news story in 30 minutes.
-T o the new Reich.
-New Reich! Got her.
-It's all in Russian.
-Here, let me see.
Is there any languages you don't know? Well, sometimes I have trouble understanding you.
This is some kind of declassified Russian military document.
Let's see.
Her name is Lisel Schumann.
Born in Hamburg, Germany, october 1 7, 1 921.
What? She looks great for a 74-year-old.
I know it seems impossible, but that's what it says.
Member of the Nazi party? And part of operation Gotterdammerung? Which was a secret Nazi experiment in suspended animation.
Well, I'd say it worked.
How many people did they do this to? okay, okay.
Let's turn that thing up.
Lois.
Clark.
Hey, let's get ready to rock 'n' roll.
This word just in.
Five mining engineers are believed to be trapped at the bottom of an abandoned coal mine at the Metropolitan United Coal fields.
Located in Westminster County, five miles from downtown Metropolis.
-I just remembered that I left-- -The name of your friend.
-The mine engineer in-- -ln your car.
Y eah, I'll be right back.
That's what I like to see around here.
Some pep.
Pep's my middle name.
The mine has been the subject of much discussion in recent years.
What? Hello? Can anybody hear me? What the--? Did I feel what I think I just felt? Felt like an earthquake.
Lois.
Hasn't been an earthquake in Metropolis in 40 years.
Hey, look.
It's on every channel.
Jimmy? Give me one of those stations pronto.
Any one of them.
That's Steve Law.
Hi, how you doing? For those of you who don 't know me, I'm Steve Law.
I'm the quarterback for the Metropolis Tigers.
I'm not here to talk about football, I'm here to talk about something much, much more important.
The future of our country.
Chief, they don't know where it's coming from, and they can't stop it.
I love this country, but like a lot of you I've become increasingly worried over the past couple years.
Everything seems to be suffering from the same growing neglect.
It's kind of like one of the lines from a song my good friend Hank West sings.
Now we can work it out and last forever.
But it's not gonna be easy.
It's gonna take a lot of sacrifice and hard work.
But together we can make it happen.
And that's why I invite you to join me and the National Society for a Better America.
What is this, some kind of sick joke? Sure, I know what you 're wondering: is this a joke? He's a Nazi.
We 've asked the government to relinquish its authority to the N.
S.
B.
A.
And if it doesn 't, well-- Well, it's kind of like when you 're in school.
Sometimes, you have to be taught a lesson.
Nuclear warheads have been hidden in Metropolis, Washington D.
C and Los Angeles.
And they are set to detonate in 12 hours which is 9 p.
m.
Eastern Standard Time should the president and Congress fail to comply.
Also, all major corporations are expected to turn over their authority to authorized N.
S.
B.
A.
agents.
The choice is yours.
Remember, together, we can work it out and last forever.
Man, Superman's gonna kick some Nazi butt from here to Pluto.
For those of you wondering about Superman, he 's been eliminated.
What? To the National Society.
oh, my God.
Clark, it's me.
Call me as soon as you get this message.
-Lois? Where you going? -I have to go check on Superman.
No, don't go.
I just got off the phone with Jim Mooney at the White House.
The president's meeting with his advisors right now.
He's gonna make an announcement five minutes before the 9 p.
m.
deadline.
It does not look good.
People are fleeing Metropolis already.
-I have to go.
-Lois.
I've got STAR Labs on line three.
They said it's urgent.
Lois Lane here.
I'll be right there.
-Lois, where you going? -Tell the president to stall.
-What? -Tell him to say whatever he wants.
Just don't give up.
-Superman.
-Lois.
What happened? Why are you in there? That coal mine disaster was a trick.
There was a nuclear bomb down there.
-They set it off as soon as I arrived.
-You're okay, aren't you? I'm fine.
I'm just radioactive.
Superman has been exposed to a particularly dirty bomb.
Tiny radioactive particles are lodged in the microscopic crevices of his skin and inside his body.
And there's no way to get them out.
Without this shielding, anyone who comes near me would die instantly.
How long are you gonna be this way? Dr.
Klein, could you go get those estimates that we were working on? Yes, of course.
How long? Thirty thousand years.
Don't worry, Lois.
We'll get through this.
Just like every other problem that we've gotten through.
Just think of it as one more of those annoying, little wedding details -that we have to figure out.
-That's not funny.
Lois, nothing can stop me from marrying you.
I will move heaven and earth if I have to.
-I love you.
-I love you.
Lois, the N.
S.
B.
A.
We've gotta figure out where their base is before this becomes the Fourth Reich.
This is a nightmare.
Just remember, I will get out of this.
Come on, come on.
-What are you doing? -Cross-referencing the location of all known coal mines in the Metropolis area -with what we know about N.
S.
B.
A.
-Why coal mines? Wasn't that just a one-shot deal to get rid of Superman? Superman also found coal dust in the basement of the Metropolis Trade T ower.
That's too much coal to be a coincidence.
Speedy Ambulance service.
They picked up Stockdale.
They're right over the entrance to mineshaft 26.
Greater Amalgamated Mines.
Closed in 1 923.
-Tell Perry I'll be back.
-What? -Lois, where you going now? -I'll be back as soon as I can.
Going somewhere, Lois? -Skip? -oberleutnant Wallace, if you please.
I'm here to inform you that from now on, you will be reporting to me.
I wouldn't count on it.
No.
Go ahead and shoot, you little weasel.
I don't think you appreciate the gravity of this situation, Perry.
We are in control now.
And despite your great personal magnetism we will struggle on without you if we have to.
Lois, get out of the elevator.
I don't think so.
You're gonna have to shoot me in the back.
Get her.
No! The stairs.
Get her.
oh, and by the way, from now on the paper will be called: The Daily Reich.
Catchy, huh? All citizens will report to their closest reeducation center.
Attention, people of Metropolis.
We join together in celebrating our new future.
All citizens will report to their closest reeducation center.
Attention, people of Metropolis.
We join together in celebrating our new future.
And join me and millions of your friends and neighbors in the National Society for a Better America.
There 's a new tomorrow with the new Reich.
-Lois, did you find them? -Maybe.
But there's a bunch of Nazis at the Planet now.
They tried to follow me, but I lost them.
I better be quick.
I was thinking, those little pieces of radioactivity that are inside you.
It's like you were shot with shotgun pellets.
And if we could get a big enough magnet, we could suck them all out of you.
-Shotgun pellets are non-magnetic.
-Go with me here.
Steel shotgun pellets.
-Gravity is kind of like magnetism, right? -Right.
So what we need is a bigger gravity magnet than the Earth to suck all the radioactivity out of you.
We could use the sun.
Lois, it could take me hours to get there and back.
once you're in the sun's gravitational pull, you think you can escape? There's only one way to find out.
Meanwhile, Lois, don't do anything till I get back.
Amazing.
Tell him that I went to check out Speedy Ambulance.
I think the new Reich is underneath it.
-But he told you to wait for him.
-I know he did.
Boy, it's almost like they were married.
Lois Lane and her last investigative exercise.
Excuse me, Ms.
Lane is outside the garage.
Please have her brought to me.
Deadline's almost up.
Looks like your tenure may be a little short, Skip.
Shut up.
I only hired you because your mother went to college with Alice.
Shut up.
Shut up.
Shut up.
You know what else? -You belong in Classifieds.
-I do not.
I'll make you pay for that.
What is your president waiting for? Arm the bombs.
What about your people above ground? They will become martyrs to the cause.
on my signal.
Now.
What? Welcome back.
It's good to be back.
Come on.
Faster! We gotta get out of here before-- Superman arrives? T oo late.
Say goodbye, Skippy.
No! As soon as they heard Superman was back, they bolted.
Man, you should have seen Skip.
He took out of here so fast, he left half his uniform behind.
I imagine most of his Nazi buddies will be in custody soon, thanks to Superman and those computer files he got from the Reich's headquarters.
Well, Superman had a little help.
-Perry? Are you all right? -oh, yeah.
You know, I was just thinking.
They say that Lucifer was the brightest star in heaven.
That's what makes evil so seductive.
-You mean the N.
S.
B.
A.
? -Yeah.
on the outside, they seem so good.
on the inside, they were evil.
Hey, but they're gone, right? We kicked butt.
-Superman kicked butt.
-Yeah, well, for now they're gone.
But you know, ideas don't die.
We thought we got rid of the Nazis once, and here they are back again.
That's why I always like to say that eternal vigilance is the price of liberty.
-That's a great line.
-Well, Thomas Jefferson said it first.
They picked up Truman Black a few minutes ago.
Senator Black? He's a Nazi? Apparently, he was one of their high-muckety-mucks.
I've known him since I was Jimmy's age.
So if you all will excuse me, l-- I think I'm gonna take the rest of the day off.
I wonder how many more are out there.
Who knows?
-Okay, I got it.
-To the left.
We made it.
But is it our world or theirs? There.
What are you staring at, bub? We lost.
And America won.
We will correct this.
There is nothing that can stop us.
Come on.
My bear! My bear.
Is that superman? Speak English.
It's superman.
What if there are more like him in America? Then that is simply another obstacle we must overcome.
Hail the new Reich.
I'm Senator Truman Black.
We've been waiting a long time.
Won't you please get in? I always liked his songs.
Four indicted in National lntelligence Agency scandal by Lois Lane and Clark Kent.
oh, look.
oh, well, these are sort of interesting.
Jeez, I don't think I'm gonna look good in one of these.
That's nice.
Yep, I bet they're not too happy with us over at the N.
I.
A.
right about now.
Probably a little ticked.
You know, we should be booking a church now.
If you wanna get married in a church.
or we could do something nontraditional.
As long as it's not too weird because I don't really think that that's me.
Unless that's you.
No, no, no.
Either way.
I was actually just thinking about invitations.
Catering.
-The band.
-We're so far behind.
-Lois, we haven't even set a date yet.
-I know, we're late on that too.
Police.
Call police.
Don't worry, sir.
Help is on its way.
No.
A bomb in the basement.
A bomb? In the basement? What basement? Metropolis Trade Tower.
It's gonna be all right, sir.
GSW through the chest.
-There's a pulse, but it's fading.
-Help! Don't let them take me away, please! It's okay.
They'll take good care of you.
They're taking you to the hospital.
-We'll have you there in no time.
-That's right.
Don't try to speak right now.
Save your strength.
Taxi! -Metropolis Trade Tower.
-okay, get in.
All right.
-Superman? -over here.
Find anything? Nothing.
I x-rayed the whole place.
Nothing -except this.
-What is it? Coal dust.
This is one of the most modern buildings in Metropolis.
-They wouldn't use coal for anything.
-Exactly.
Steve? Hey, Steve, how about a few words for the camera? -Y eah, sure.
-Get in here.
It was a heck of a game.
And all I got to say to the 49ers is: You better look out because we 're going to clean your socks.
Yeah! Great going, Steve.
Well, whether Steve Law means socks or clocks the 49ers better look out because the long arm of the law is going to the Super Bowl.
Hey, Steve, nice speech.
Don't make fun of him, man.
Steve's my man.
He can do no wrong.
-Yeah, he's going all the way.
-ln an alternate universe.
That's funny.
What a dip.
-I think that's gonna be a good game.
-oh, it's gonna be great.
Wallace, you looking for a pay cut? Get back to your cubbyhole in Classifieds.
Jimmy, where are those shots of Lisa Rockford for the supermodel article? And I need the gourmet pet food piece photos too.
on my way, chief.
You know, one of these days he's gonna be very sorry.
If he could just give me a chance, I could be a reporter.
-I can spell.
-I hear you.
You know that Hank West song? Just cause you got a bigger salary Don 't make you a bigger man I mean, think about it.
Why are we doing a story on pet food when there are people starving in T exas.
I mean, it's un-American.
And he knows it.
Yeah.
Well, I gotta get my lower-salary butt in gear, man.
I'll see you.
Now, Perry, you sure I can't persuade you to skip school -and play a little golf this afternoon? -No can do, Truman.
I gotta keep this rabble here in line.
I think you're afraid you're gonna lose to an old man.
Hey, would I lie to a United States senator? You can't hide forever.
I'll see you.
All right.
Listen up, everybody.
Look who's decided to join us this morning.
Give it up for Lois and Clark.
Chief, we were on a story.
I bet you were.
Someone said there was a bomb in the basement of the Metropolis Trade T ower.
Ask the police, ask Superman.
We were there checking it out.
-So? Was there? -No.
That ought to be a pretty easy story to write then.
Short and sweet.
Heck, I can write that one myself.
You all probably have more important things to do like planning a wedding.
Chief, here's your supermodel.
Who makes these people? Come on, Lois.
You are much better looking than Lisa Rockford.
See how well trained I have him already? Perry, does Alice say stuff like that to you? -I mean-- -oh, that's all right, Clark.
You know, things between me and Alice aren't so hot right now.
Particularly since I got my first call from her divorce lawyer last night.
All right.
Well, you know, when we were first engaged, there was a-- There was a time there I couldn't remember a story I wrote.
My feet didn't touch the ground for six months.
But you two-- You'll do fine.
-Sweet, huh? -Yeah.
Hey, who told you about the bomb threat? Well, what is this? A wax museum? Now get me the rest of that story, or you're both fired.
I think he's handling the Alice thing really well.
Hey, Steve, how about a few words for the camera? It was a heck of a game.
And all I got to say to the 49ers is: You better look out because we are going to clean your socks.
Clean their socks.
Clean their socks? He is a superman.
-You are a super-idiot.
-They barely noticed.
He's right.
It was just a sportscaster and 50 million other Americans.
What does it matter? In two days we can drop this ridiculous pretense.
How can you be so dense? For two years we've been recruiting new members from all across the country.
Fifty years ago, were sent here undercover from the fatherland.
T oday, they are captains of industry.
Men and women of power and influence.
They have spent years preparing and planting backgrounds for us.
They have smoothed the way for us to become an overnight success and lead this country to the new Reich.
As I recall, Stockdale was a member of this chosen youth.
And look how he wound up.
A pathetic old man who loved this country more than he loved the fatherland.
He was spreading the word about the bomb we placed in the Trade T ower until I found out, and I had him stopped.
-I suggest the two of you don't forget.
-Enough! I'll take Voss and talk to Lane and Kent.
See if Stockdale told them anything else before the ambulance came.
Sometimes, folks are a little more open around celebrities.
No more slip-ups.
Now smile for the cameras.
Where are we in regard to the Superman situation? Since all reported attempts to kill him in the past have failed I've decided to go with our alternate plan.
Instead of trying to assassinate him, we will simply banish him forever.
Good.
Once he's gone, the government and the banks will fall into line.
And where the banks go, everyone else follows.
Then Canada.
Then Latin America will be next.
.
They are both weak.
-Then Europe.
- What about Russia? - We will crush them just like we started to in 1942.
And then we will assume our rightful place as world leader.
okay, thank you.
Lois, the police have no record of the accident.
Well, they probably haven't filed it yet.
They' re busy too, just like Superman.
Ms.
Lane? Mr.
Kent? Hi, I'm Detective Carter.
-This is-- -Hank West.
I'm a big fan.
Ma'am.
Mr.
Kent.
Hope you don't mind me tagging along.
Hollywood got the idea of putting me in a detective movie, and I'm just checking things out.
No, it's no problem at all.
Might I have a word with you about the accident this morning? Yeah, sure.
Who was that guy, anyway? His name is William Stockdale.
Age 70.
Did Mr.
Stockdale mention anything other than the location of the alleged bomb? Anything that might indicate somebody other than himself was involved? -No, he really didn't say much at all.
-He seemed extremely worried.
Actually, almost terrified.
If I was playing a role like that I might have played terrified too.
Babbling my head off, throw in a cuss word here and there.
Then I would have let slip that one important, vital clue.
-Like they always do.
-oh, I hate when they do that.
Anyway, he didn't say anything else.
Why talk about a bomb in the first place? oh, let me tell you, you get shot, your mind's a world of confusion.
Thanks for your time.
Sorry to bother you, but we gotta go through the motions.
Detective Carter? How did Mr.
Stockdale happen to get himself shot, anyway? Carjacking attempt.
Ma'am.
Mr.
Kent.
Mr.
West? You probably heard this before, but I just wanted to tell you that I have this cousin who was sort of depressed and, well, when she heard your song "The First Person You Can Count on is Yourself" it really turned her life around.
-So thanks.
-Hey, you're welcome, ma'am.
Well, he's kind of handsome.
Taller than I thought.
He wears lifts in his boots.
They said Stockdale was shot in the back.
That's not likely if you're sitting in your car.
Well, maybe he was twisting to get away.
Fine, we'll ask him ourselves.
Hello? Yes, I'd like to speak to Mr.
William Stockdale.
He was admitted around 9 a.
m.
Yes.
No, I'm certain.
Well, I saw him put in the ambulance.
okay, thank you.
-There's no record of him being admitted.
-okay.
You start with the hospitals, I'll check the funeral homes.
-ls Hank West still here? -oh, you just missed him.
oh, man.
He's the greatest.
-He certainly has a huge following.
-That's because he tells the truth.
Now Hank West isn't afraid to tell it like it is.
He sticks up for the little guy.
You know, America used to be great.
And he wants to put it back on track.
-Yikes.
-Yikes.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
What are you doing? Balki, I am doing this for Jennifer's own good.
-We don't have time for this.
-l' m studying my English.
Balki, what happened to your hair? -I dried it in the microwave.
-Do I have to order you? You don't order me.
We were chosen for this.
We were bred for this.
We are the masters of the master race.
The true supermen.
And not just you.
Stop it! -What happened with Lane and Kent? -They know nothing.
But they' re inquisitive, as are all good reporters.
-We should kill them.
Why take a chance? -And draw more attention to us? Why not just take out an ad? What would you have us do? Forget about our plan to eliminate Superman? Dismantle the organization? Settle down like some good Americans and get a mortgage and some cable TV? You really believe those pathetic songs you sing.
-Not everything here is worth destroying.
-America is morally bankrupt.
-You don't know what you' re saying.
-oh, don't l? You've turned, just like Stockdale.
Shut up, both of you.
We're here to fight the Americans, not each other.
If we kill them, we should blame the deaths of Lane and Kent on others.
Say one of those overseas terrorist cells.
Why waste a perfectly good opportunity? Why not blame the National lntelligence Agency? They must hate Lane and Kent after that last series of articles.
Kill three birds with one stone.
oh, did I say that correctly, Hank? He's right though.
They need to be eliminated.
Since you two seem to enjoy bickering so much, I'll take care of it myself.
A 70-year-old man with a gunshot wound can't just disappear into thin air.
Maybe he was taken to a private doctor or was admitted under another name.
It's all so frustrating.
Lois, we can call the hospitals again tomorrow and ask them-- No, not that.
our wedding.
It's a disaster.
Lois, come on.
It'll all work out.
-How? Are you gonna help? -of course.
Well, good.
Because I just happen to have this list here of things to do.
You take this page, and I'll take this one.
All this? Lois, this is a wedding, not a coronation.
-You're backpedaling.
-I'm not backpedaling.
I'm just saying that this is an awful lot of stuff for one wedding.
I may not be here to do all this stuff all the time, who knows-- Clark.
Lois, it's me, Jimmy.
We'll finish this later.
These are bomb threats the cops have gotten in the last two years.
These are all the other strange things or robberies that have been reported.
Looks like fun reading.
-Anything weird? -It's all weird.
We live in Metropolis.
See you later, guys.
So bomb threats or other stuff? I'll take other stuff for 50.
-What? -Give me a minute.
Lose something? Ms.
Rockford? Would you mind stepping out of the van please, Ms.
Rockford? -She's dead.
-What happened? Cyanide.
It's just so bizarre.
She was a supermodel.
Why would she be trying to kill us? She must have been terrified to take that cyanide.
or dedicated.
Detective? If there's nothing else, I'd like to escort Ms.
Lane to her apartment.
Be my guest.
Clark? Lois, I know.
It's okay.
No, it's not that.
I mean, it is but it isn't.
It's just all these brushes with death.
Who knows what's gonna happen next? I mean, we think that life goes on and on and on, but maybe it doesn't.
Do you know what I'm saying? Yes.
Lois, are you okay? I just heard what happened.
Just a minute.
I was on my way back to tell you something I just remembered and then I saw all those cops and stuff.
Am I interrupting something? No, no, not at all.
-ls he, Clark? -No, no, not at all.
-We were discussing those papers.
-I wanted to talk to you about that.
one thing I noticed: Two years ago, there was a string of burglaries and attempted burglaries, where the guys spoke German.
They never caught them though.
Weird, huh? I'd say that qualifies.
Clark.
Lois.
-Where's that bomb-threat story? -Working on it, chief.
Lisa Rockford tried to kill us last night.
-We think they're related.
-Really? What did she try to do? Bat you to death with her eyelashes? You' re serious.
Lisa Rockford? This is huge.
Rocket-propelled grenade through the window.
We traced the number from the launcher to the National lntelligence Agency but-- What? Lisa Rockford is a spy for the N.
I.
A.
? Who's next? Madonna? No, no, no, this whole thing stinks.
For starters, the N.
I.
A.
would never leave serial numbers on anything.
Sounds to me like somebody's trying to frame them.
-Maybe you're right.
-Yeah.
oh, look, I know I've been uptight and irritable lately.
Quick to judge.
Quick to condemn.
Sometimes, I've been downright mean.
But what I'm trying to say is that you-- Well, you can expect more of the same.
-Mr.
White, I wonder if I might talk-- -Not now, Chip.
-I'm on a rampage.
-It's Skip.
Whatever.
Supermodel or terrorist? Supermodel or terrorist? I mean, how do you wake up in the morning and decide to be that? Good question.
Let's start with her background and see what turns up.
Interesting.
There's a record of her birth certificate at Mercy Hospital in Metropolis.
But no record of her parents checking in or out.
Maybe the birth certificate's a plant? Let's see what we can do with her fingerprints.
She knew what she was doing.
-We have to postpone.
-We are an army waiting to strike.
An army doesn't stop because one soldier dies.
She wasn't just a soldier.
She was one of us.
We have been weakened.
We must be strong again before we can strike.
The truth is you don't wanna strike.
That would mean an end to your adoring fans.
-Shut up.
-You've turned your back against the fatherland.
All you wanna do is stay on tour and rake in millions.
That's the American way.
The fatherland is gone.
The war is gone.
Don't you see? All we are are the last echoing death throes of an idea buried 50 years ago.
-No, we can still win.
The idea still lives.
-No! And I say, "Y es.
" Remove the traitor.
Yes, sir.
Where is Western Reich Fuhrer van Hagen? He has been executed for treason.
On whose authority? Mine.
He wanted to dismantle the organization.
-Any further questions? -No.
All dissenters must be dealt with in this way, if necessary.
Good.
The time has come.
You'll broadcast your phony news story in 30 minutes.
-T o the new Reich.
-New Reich! Got her.
-It's all in Russian.
-Here, let me see.
Is there any languages you don't know? Well, sometimes I have trouble understanding you.
This is some kind of declassified Russian military document.
Let's see.
Her name is Lisel Schumann.
Born in Hamburg, Germany, october 1 7, 1 921.
What? She looks great for a 74-year-old.
I know it seems impossible, but that's what it says.
Member of the Nazi party? And part of operation Gotterdammerung? Which was a secret Nazi experiment in suspended animation.
Well, I'd say it worked.
How many people did they do this to? okay, okay.
Let's turn that thing up.
Lois.
Clark.
Hey, let's get ready to rock 'n' roll.
This word just in.
Five mining engineers are believed to be trapped at the bottom of an abandoned coal mine at the Metropolitan United Coal fields.
Located in Westminster County, five miles from downtown Metropolis.
-I just remembered that I left-- -The name of your friend.
-The mine engineer in-- -ln your car.
Y eah, I'll be right back.
That's what I like to see around here.
Some pep.
Pep's my middle name.
The mine has been the subject of much discussion in recent years.
What? Hello? Can anybody hear me? What the--? Did I feel what I think I just felt? Felt like an earthquake.
Lois.
Hasn't been an earthquake in Metropolis in 40 years.
Hey, look.
It's on every channel.
Jimmy? Give me one of those stations pronto.
Any one of them.
That's Steve Law.
Hi, how you doing? For those of you who don 't know me, I'm Steve Law.
I'm the quarterback for the Metropolis Tigers.
I'm not here to talk about football, I'm here to talk about something much, much more important.
The future of our country.
Chief, they don't know where it's coming from, and they can't stop it.
I love this country, but like a lot of you I've become increasingly worried over the past couple years.
Everything seems to be suffering from the same growing neglect.
It's kind of like one of the lines from a song my good friend Hank West sings.
Now we can work it out and last forever.
But it's not gonna be easy.
It's gonna take a lot of sacrifice and hard work.
But together we can make it happen.
And that's why I invite you to join me and the National Society for a Better America.
What is this, some kind of sick joke? Sure, I know what you 're wondering: is this a joke? He's a Nazi.
We 've asked the government to relinquish its authority to the N.
S.
B.
A.
And if it doesn 't, well-- Well, it's kind of like when you 're in school.
Sometimes, you have to be taught a lesson.
Nuclear warheads have been hidden in Metropolis, Washington D.
C and Los Angeles.
And they are set to detonate in 12 hours which is 9 p.
m.
Eastern Standard Time should the president and Congress fail to comply.
Also, all major corporations are expected to turn over their authority to authorized N.
S.
B.
A.
agents.
The choice is yours.
Remember, together, we can work it out and last forever.
Man, Superman's gonna kick some Nazi butt from here to Pluto.
For those of you wondering about Superman, he 's been eliminated.
What? To the National Society.
oh, my God.
Clark, it's me.
Call me as soon as you get this message.
-Lois? Where you going? -I have to go check on Superman.
No, don't go.
I just got off the phone with Jim Mooney at the White House.
The president's meeting with his advisors right now.
He's gonna make an announcement five minutes before the 9 p.
m.
deadline.
It does not look good.
People are fleeing Metropolis already.
-I have to go.
-Lois.
I've got STAR Labs on line three.
They said it's urgent.
Lois Lane here.
I'll be right there.
-Lois, where you going? -Tell the president to stall.
-What? -Tell him to say whatever he wants.
Just don't give up.
-Superman.
-Lois.
What happened? Why are you in there? That coal mine disaster was a trick.
There was a nuclear bomb down there.
-They set it off as soon as I arrived.
-You're okay, aren't you? I'm fine.
I'm just radioactive.
Superman has been exposed to a particularly dirty bomb.
Tiny radioactive particles are lodged in the microscopic crevices of his skin and inside his body.
And there's no way to get them out.
Without this shielding, anyone who comes near me would die instantly.
How long are you gonna be this way? Dr.
Klein, could you go get those estimates that we were working on? Yes, of course.
How long? Thirty thousand years.
Don't worry, Lois.
We'll get through this.
Just like every other problem that we've gotten through.
Just think of it as one more of those annoying, little wedding details -that we have to figure out.
-That's not funny.
Lois, nothing can stop me from marrying you.
I will move heaven and earth if I have to.
-I love you.
-I love you.
Lois, the N.
S.
B.
A.
We've gotta figure out where their base is before this becomes the Fourth Reich.
This is a nightmare.
Just remember, I will get out of this.
Come on, come on.
-What are you doing? -Cross-referencing the location of all known coal mines in the Metropolis area -with what we know about N.
S.
B.
A.
-Why coal mines? Wasn't that just a one-shot deal to get rid of Superman? Superman also found coal dust in the basement of the Metropolis Trade T ower.
That's too much coal to be a coincidence.
Speedy Ambulance service.
They picked up Stockdale.
They're right over the entrance to mineshaft 26.
Greater Amalgamated Mines.
Closed in 1 923.
-Tell Perry I'll be back.
-What? -Lois, where you going now? -I'll be back as soon as I can.
Going somewhere, Lois? -Skip? -oberleutnant Wallace, if you please.
I'm here to inform you that from now on, you will be reporting to me.
I wouldn't count on it.
No.
Go ahead and shoot, you little weasel.
I don't think you appreciate the gravity of this situation, Perry.
We are in control now.
And despite your great personal magnetism we will struggle on without you if we have to.
Lois, get out of the elevator.
I don't think so.
You're gonna have to shoot me in the back.
Get her.
No! The stairs.
Get her.
oh, and by the way, from now on the paper will be called: The Daily Reich.
Catchy, huh? All citizens will report to their closest reeducation center.
Attention, people of Metropolis.
We join together in celebrating our new future.
All citizens will report to their closest reeducation center.
Attention, people of Metropolis.
We join together in celebrating our new future.
And join me and millions of your friends and neighbors in the National Society for a Better America.
There 's a new tomorrow with the new Reich.
-Lois, did you find them? -Maybe.
But there's a bunch of Nazis at the Planet now.
They tried to follow me, but I lost them.
I better be quick.
I was thinking, those little pieces of radioactivity that are inside you.
It's like you were shot with shotgun pellets.
And if we could get a big enough magnet, we could suck them all out of you.
-Shotgun pellets are non-magnetic.
-Go with me here.
Steel shotgun pellets.
-Gravity is kind of like magnetism, right? -Right.
So what we need is a bigger gravity magnet than the Earth to suck all the radioactivity out of you.
We could use the sun.
Lois, it could take me hours to get there and back.
once you're in the sun's gravitational pull, you think you can escape? There's only one way to find out.
Meanwhile, Lois, don't do anything till I get back.
Amazing.
Tell him that I went to check out Speedy Ambulance.
I think the new Reich is underneath it.
-But he told you to wait for him.
-I know he did.
Boy, it's almost like they were married.
Lois Lane and her last investigative exercise.
Excuse me, Ms.
Lane is outside the garage.
Please have her brought to me.
Deadline's almost up.
Looks like your tenure may be a little short, Skip.
Shut up.
I only hired you because your mother went to college with Alice.
Shut up.
Shut up.
Shut up.
You know what else? -You belong in Classifieds.
-I do not.
I'll make you pay for that.
What is your president waiting for? Arm the bombs.
What about your people above ground? They will become martyrs to the cause.
on my signal.
Now.
What? Welcome back.
It's good to be back.
Come on.
Faster! We gotta get out of here before-- Superman arrives? T oo late.
Say goodbye, Skippy.
No! As soon as they heard Superman was back, they bolted.
Man, you should have seen Skip.
He took out of here so fast, he left half his uniform behind.
I imagine most of his Nazi buddies will be in custody soon, thanks to Superman and those computer files he got from the Reich's headquarters.
Well, Superman had a little help.
-Perry? Are you all right? -oh, yeah.
You know, I was just thinking.
They say that Lucifer was the brightest star in heaven.
That's what makes evil so seductive.
-You mean the N.
S.
B.
A.
? -Yeah.
on the outside, they seem so good.
on the inside, they were evil.
Hey, but they're gone, right? We kicked butt.
-Superman kicked butt.
-Yeah, well, for now they're gone.
But you know, ideas don't die.
We thought we got rid of the Nazis once, and here they are back again.
That's why I always like to say that eternal vigilance is the price of liberty.
-That's a great line.
-Well, Thomas Jefferson said it first.
They picked up Truman Black a few minutes ago.
Senator Black? He's a Nazi? Apparently, he was one of their high-muckety-mucks.
I've known him since I was Jimmy's age.
So if you all will excuse me, l-- I think I'm gonna take the rest of the day off.
I wonder how many more are out there.
Who knows?