Rescue Me s03e09 Episode Script
Pieces
Previously on rescue me boo! Jesus Christ, stack.
Hey, laurel and hardy.
Hey, how's the family? Oh, they're fine, you know? Probie went in after him.
There was a huge collapse.
This thing's blocked.
Stack! I'm gonna get you Out of here.
Stay with me, OK.
You told me you were a One-Guy guy.
I am.
That's why I'm Screwing around with a woman.
See, see, I knew it, man.
You're such a jerk-Off, Mike.
I'm confused.
I miss pussy.
We show up there.
We totally Act like we're together.
By 11 o'clock tonight, she can't Keep her hands off the phone.
Johnny and Janet cursing our Souls to eternal hell.
Maggie Gavin, will you Marry me? I already said yes, doofus.
Come on, you're totally Serious? Yes.
You're gonna marry me? Yes.
Oh, that is awesome.
Just so I'm clear.
I marry Her, I get to have conjugal Visits? Once every 10 days for an Hour at a time.
Perfect.
You got any Breath spray? I'm Natalie.
Hi, Natalie.
I'm Franco.
So, this shit you're trying To forget.
What's her name? No, no.
No, no, no.
I think it's a little too soon For that much truth.
I had an epiphany, Tom.
I'm turning over a new leaf.
A new leaf? Yeah, I got closure.
Shit.
That's got to be tough, Huh, Tommy? Knowing I'm banging Your ex.
Knowing you're never Gonna get mine.
Tommy yeah I always knew that you'd Be good at that.
I think I'm I think I'm Ready to go again.
Oh what? Hey, stud.
Is that Janet? Is that angie? Well, the moment is complete.
She's got a lot of stuff that She left here that she still Comes to pick up sometimes.
She's probably like maybe Pick up a dress? Got a long way to go.
Is it Anywhere we know? Smells like food on the Stove to me, doesn't it? Yeah.
FDNY.
Hello.
Fire department.
Open up.
FDNY, let's go! Pop it.
All right.
FDNY.
Oh, my God.
We got a customer Right in here.
Holy shit.
Jesus Christ.
That's one guy? Yeah.
You believe this? We got two thirds of The million man march Right here.
Let's get him up and get Him back to the circus.
Or the knicks.
Same thing really.
Ready? With your legs.
Lift your knees.
Oh, Jesus! God.
It's like Trying to lift rhode island.
Rhode island's not this Tall, pal.
Guys, I got another broad Back there.
OK.
Hey, we got another Girl in the back.
Grab her.
OK.
Holy shit, is that Dennis rodman? Go get the girl.
All right.
Michael, give us a hand, Will you? Holy shit.
Kareem abdul Jabbar.
He looks really young.
That's such a positive issue With black people.
They always Look a lot younger than They are, you know? Let me try.
Jesus, look at the size of That guy.
No wonder it took you So long to get him out.
Yeah, we were thinking about Cutting him up and bringing him Down in pieces or something.
That would have meant an extra Trip down to get a saw.
You OK? I've got dry mouth.
Yeah, man.
My mouth is Dry, too.
I'm starving.
Are you hungry? I could eat.
Pizza.
Yeah.
And chips.
And dip.
Dip.
Yeah, man.
Dip.
Hey, Chief, are you there? Yeah, Garrity.
Go ahead.
Uh, listen, Chief.
Mikey And I, we got into this back Room here.
Yeah? Looks like a goddamn Greenhouse.
Chief, it's amazing.
There's like beds with dirt And plants and all kinds of Sunlamps.
I think that must be What caused the fire.
Are we talking about what I Think we're talking about? Uh, yeah I don't know, Chief.
What are We talking about? Pot, marijuana, weed.
Yes, yes.
That's definitely What we're talking about.
This guy is growing, like, Hundreds of plants.
At least he Used to be.
They've all gone up In smoke now.
Smells like the Inside of a bong in here.
Bonggg that's such a funny word.
Garrity, get your ass out Here on the double.
Hey, uh, Chief? What? Should I, uh, should I Bring mikey with me? Yes, goddammit, yes.
Hey, come on.
Bong.
Bonggg bong! Goons.
I'm surrounded by Goons.
Hey, boys, do me a favor.
Keep an eye on my friend here.
I got to notify the cops.
This Is now officially a crime scene.
Dude.
Dude? Yeah, there's nothing In there.
Just growing Flowers in there.
What kind of flowers? Geraniums.
Geraniums.
Settle down, boys, will you? Get me some cd73s out of My rig.
Hey, we got any Bob marley? I'm ready for some reggae, Chief.
Cd73s, they're exposure Forms.
You guys have been Exposed to a foreign substance During the course of operations Which means we have to Report it.
Which means we have To wait around and fill the Forms out.
You guys are not Paying attention to me anyway.
So, I think what he's saying Is there's no cds, man.
No music.
Wow.
Screw the cds, I want pizza.
Yeah, man.
All right, guys.
All that Stuff I said about God over The years.
Yeah.
I take most of it back.
Why? Oh yeah.
Hey, brother.
God's pizza.
We deliver.
I'd do her.
You would? Oh, yeah, in a heartbeat.
That's interesting.
Wait a minute.
Who are we Talking about here? Heather mills mccartney.
Ex-Wife of former beatle Paul.
Yeah.
I'd hit that.
Really? Oh, yeah, man.
Even though she only has The one leg.
Tommy, it's a bonus.
How is it a bonus? It gives you an extra Sexual position to enjoy, For one.
That being, her Laying on her side, OK, the Side with the leg, you straddle Said leg, and do her sideways Without worrying about the Extra pesky leg getting in The way.
What about the stub? I didn't think about that.
Yeah.
Pass.
How you doing with those Forms, boys? Still working on it, Chief.
Here you go.
Since when are you kenneth Mills mccartney? Did I write that? Come on.
Hey, probie.
Wake up.
Anymore pizza? Your social security number, Mike.
You're missing a few Digits.
Oh, what did I put down? No.
Just the number 6.
Come on.
Work on it.
Come on.
Look.
What's up, Garrity? Guess what? What if the Government is, like, secretly Recording everything that we Do and say with secret devices That are planted, like, right Out in the open, right under Our noses? This parking meter Right here? I was walking by, And it started blinking.
And Then it started making this, Like, camera shutter clicking Sound.
I think it took my Picture.
Was it your good side? It was straight on.
Oh.
I was squinting though.
You better get back and Do it again.
You're right.
I'm gonna Go back.
Hey, fix your hair, dude.
* on another day, Come on, come on, With these ropes I tied, Can we do no wrong? Now we grieve 'Cause now is gone, Things were good When we were young, With my teeth locked down I can see the blood Of a thousand men Who have come and gone, Now we grieve 'Cause now is gone, Things were good When we were young, Is it safe to say? Come on, come on, Was it right to leave? Come on, come on, Will I ever learn? Come on, come on, Come on, come on, Come on, come on * Jesus.
You scared me.
How you doing? Not so good.
I go to the bathroom twice an Hour and cry my eyes out.
Just, I don't want John to Hear me.
I thought they were just Taking one leg.
Oh, no, no.
That's, uh that was yesterday.
They took the other one this Morning.
What am I gonna tell him when He wakes up? I just hope he doesn't Blame me.
No, no, no.
He won't Blame you.
Look at him.
He's half A man.
Sorry.
It's OK, it's OK, it's OK.
It's OK.
You go home.
Hang out with The kids, OK? Are you sure? Yeah.
I'll stay with him.
Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
OK.
Thank you.
OK.
What are you doing? Just getting some of my Clothes.
Some of my stuff.
Moving out? Yeah, I guess so.
I think so.
So, were you gonna tell me, Or were you just gonna sneak Off in the middle of the night Like a goddamn pussy? It's morning, dude.
You know what I mean, man.
Look, I don't want to make A big thing out of this, You know? You're a great guy, But it was just a mistake.
Don't call it that, Mike.
It's not right for me.
You know, I thought, maybe I'd Get a little more comfortable With the idea, but now I know That that's never gonna happen.
Oh, oh.
So all those times I was going down on you, you Were uncomfortable.
Well, you Seemed pretty comfortable to Me, Mike.
I mean, if you didn't Like what was happening, why The hell didn't you just Speak up, man? You know how it is when Someone's going down on you.
You don't want to be rude.
Well, I catch you here again, I'm gonna kick your ass.
Now get out.
What about the rest of My stuff? You got 2 minutes.
Anything You leave behind is going in The garbage.
I'd start moving If I were you.
Good morning.
Somebody needs to smile.
Yeah, give me a couple Of days.
Where'd Jeannie go? Nurse took her outside for Some fresh air.
You know, I Thought I was gonna have to Move her out of here.
With This place costing so much.
She nearly fell apart when I Mentioned that possibility.
So for the last month or so, I've been out there busting my Ass trying to earn a little Extra scratch.
Now, I tell her she can stay.
Everything's all right, and she completely falls apart.
A real meltdown.
She doesn't even know who I am.
Mr.
Reilly, you might want To get a little alzheimer's Of your own.
Excuse me? Despite this little episode, Jeannie's happy here.
Now you Have to be happy, too.
If the visits disturb you, Stop remembering to come.
You telling me forget about My wife? She's forgotten about you.
Because she's sick.
Does it matter what the Reason is? Who the hell do you think You are talking to me like that? Karleen simpson.
Nice to Meet you.
Get the hell out.
I'm sorry if I upset you, Really.
I was only trying To help.
Don't let the disease claim Both of you, Mr.
Reilly.
That's what I was trying To say.
Hey.
I thought I smelled Something.
What you making, Baby? Huevos rancheros.
Oh, looks like scrambled Eggs to me.
Well, you didn't have any Tomatoes, onions, chiles, or Cheese, so that's what it is.
You want to grab me some juice? Yeah.
Oh, snap.
Look at this.
Surprise.
Wow, baby, I don't know who This guy is, but he is stunning.
Work that camera, biotch.
You like? Yeah, yeah.
It's nice.
You are an excellent subject.
You have depth.
Stuff working Beneath the surface.
Secrets.
No.
No, no, no.
No secrets Here, babe.
So the little girl's room Down the hall.
That's not A secret? Apparently not.
You want to tell me? I had a daughter.
She's not Here anymore.
She died? Don't worry.
She's fine.
Very much alive.
Living a life Only about a thousand times Better than I can ever give her.
You want to explain? Another time.
What about you though, huh? Any secrets you want to share? I'm an open book.
You think? How come you're always coming Over here? I mean, I mentioned Going to your place a couple Of times, you always manage To sidestep it.
What's the deal? Maybe my place is a pig sty.
No.
I don't think so.
So, anything you want to Tell me? OK.
There is one thing.
You're late for work.
Have some eggs.
I'm gonna grab My stuff and walk out with you.
Uh-Huh.
Both legs? Yeah.
How's he doing? He's so doped up, he doesn't Even know, you know? How about deb, She holding up? I think she's afraid he's Gonna blame her when he comes Out of it.
What's wrong With you? Rough morning.
Oh.
Hey, thanks for noticing, Buddy.
All right.
OK.
OK.
What the hell was that? Probably a holdover from The weed.
Hey, bro.
What's going on? How you doing, brother? Do me a favor.
Stop touching me, OK? Mike just touched you.
I saw him.
Mike got a special you know how the pope gives Out special dispensations Sometimes? That's what Mike Got, OK? All right.
Well, I mean, You're gonna have to start Getting used to the fact that In real life, we're gonna be Bros, bro, so you're not married to my Sister yet.
But it's happening soon, You know, and even if I try to Not call you bro, I'm still Gonna be giving you bro energy Loud and clear.
Stop calling me bro.
You call me bro anymore, I'm Gonna punch you in the face.
Very hard.
See, that kind of talk, used To make me think that you Hated me, but now I know, it's Sibling rivalry.
Get your hands yo, guys.
Come check This out.
What does he want? I don't know.
Oh, yeah.
You gotta be kidding me.
Nice hog, Lou.
Hey, thanks.
That is some sweet machine.
Jesus, you know what we got To do, we got to get a couple Of those bikes, you know what I mean? Start our own little Family gang.
The gatlin family Ramblers.
Go inside the house.
Why, why? Go inside the house Right now.
Family squabble.
No biggie.
So how do you guys like The ride? Nothing like a new set of Shiny wheels to turn a midlife Crisis around.
At this point, jer, I'm not Interested in turning it Around, I'm interested in Outrunning the goddamn thing.
Yo, Lou, let me take it for A spin around the block.
I don't think so.
You got A recruitment roster to report On inside.
And then you got a Sink full of dishes.
It's a mess.
Nice.
Make the puerto rican Guy wash the dishes.
Thanks a Lot, Chief.
Now you know why I'm taking that lieutenant's Exam.
All right? Hey, don't crack your head On this thing.
I need you Around here.
Bikes.
So, I guess this is what the Terminator looks like without The steroids, huh? Very funny, very funny.
It's the new me.
Yeah, I'm Getting the rest of my leathers Next week.
I'm gonna find some Nice, chunky blonde girl with A tattoo right on her ass crack.
Mm-Hmm.
Then you know, after that, Probably be working security For the stones.
You want me to Get you backstage, meet mick? OK, what's going on? Come on, Tom.
A little Support.
I'm trying I'm trying New things.
Uh-Huh.
I don't get it.
Look, for the first time In a long time, you know, I feel Like I have possibilities.
I feel like I can maybe turn Things around.
Maybe even, You know, God forbid, be happy.
What's the point in getting There if you're gonna burn up In a fire, huh? Right.
Look, I got this cousin Down in Florida.
Yeah.
He's got this fishing boat.
Charter boat.
Takes rich Tourists out for the day.
Fishing, you know.
Makes a Whole boatload of money.
Got a first mate, the guy got Married, he's not coming back.
He asked me if I was interested, I said, no.
But now I'm Thinking, the guy's got a Guest house for me, you know.
A beautiful boat.
Fresh air, Sunshine.
Now, I'm thinking yes.
I mean, it's an interesting Plan.
It's a beautiful boat, But, not for you.
Well, why not? Well Florida.
First of all.
I mean jeb Bush, Florida, OK? Yeah.
That's number one.
Number Two, have you heard about the Alligators.
It's been all over Cnn the last couple of weeks, There have been alligators Climbing out of the swamps Down there, and eating joggers Right off the jogging path.
There was, like, two women Jogging, and they got eaten by Alligators.
I don't jog.
When they're done eating The joggers, they're gonna come After the sedentary people, OK? And then, the bermuda triangle Which is right off the coast Of Florida.
I mean, you could Just, disappear, OK? Not to Mention, cubans.
I'm not talking Cigars, I'm talking actual Cubans.
Wall to wall.
All right? Florida's not for you.
I don't know, you know? Maybe you didn't hear me ask About a little support before.
Lou, I'm just saying.
Ahh yeah.
Look who decides to pick up.
Listen, man.
Something's Come up, you know.
Something That you got to know.
Something That I don't want to tell you About over a telephone, so I was Kind of hoping you and me, you Know, we could get together.
Have a little face to face.
I could tell you in person.
Tommy, are you there? Listen, Tommy, man.
How long Are we gonna keep on doing this, You know? I mean, you and I, We go a lot of years ahead of Us, brother, and I just, what Do you say, we work together And just try to put this Bullshit behind us, man? You know? When can we get Together? Seanster.
Hey, hey.
What's up? Hey, man.
You want to go Grab a drink? I can't, man.
I got stuff to Take care of for the wedding With the lovely bride to be.
You're still marrying Maggie, right? Of course, why? The "lovely" thing threw me Off.
Hey, speaking of lovely, How's it going with Natalie? She Sounds great, dude.
Yeah.
She is.
Possibly.
Possibly, why is something Wrong? I don't know, man.
I think She might have another guy on The hook.
A guy she could be Living with.
No shit.
Yeah.
She never wants to go Back to her place for some Reason.
Plus every time we're Together, her phone rings like It's the same person every time.
Pretty sure it's a dude.
Man, that sucks.
Yeah.
Tell me about it.
Finally found a girl I can get Serious about, turns out she Could be playing me.
Goddamn karma again, right? You got to confront her, You know, see if it's true.
See what's going on.
Yeah, I know.
Love's a pain In the balls.
Tell me about it.
You know, what have I told You a million, zillion, Gajillion goddamn times.
Uh, no.
About the car, OK? Oh, I don't what do we do every 3,000 Miles? We check the oil.
Oh, right.
Check the oil, check the Oil, check the oil.
OK, OK.
Check the oil.
I got it.
Look, I'm very busy.
I got lots of things.
I got Lots of lists.
OK, on one of the lists, put Check the oil, OK? Do you want Me to put one of them little Stickers in, you know when you Go to the shop, they put the Sticker in the window.
No, bossy.
I got it.
I'm not being bossy.
I'm Just trying to help you have a Safe vehicle.
You are being very stick up the assy.
Stick up the what? Honey, what is wrong With you? Nothing's wrong with me.
Come on, you're so, you're, Like, on edge.
I'm not on edge.
Tommy, Tommy.
Don't, don't, don't start With the tommys.
Tommy OK.
I think the crew may be Breaking up.
What? Yeah.
Frank's taking the Lieutenant's test, and probie's Put come here.
Probie's been thinking of Putting in for a transfer, and I think even Lou's thinking of Leaving.
No way.
Yeah.
Sheila.
Oh, hi.
Hi.
How you doing? I'm good.
How are you? Good to see you.
Good to see you.
Garrity, your mom's on the Phone.
All right.
I'll see you Later.
Bye.
See you, bro.
Yeah.
Bro? What else? What do you mean? You work with a bunch of Guys, you laugh your ass off When you're together, and you Know, blah blah blah, things Click.
And then, you know, I'm Expected to work with a bunch Of college age kids who decide They want to be heroes after I don't want to get my ass Melted off working with these Guys who don't know what the Hell they're doing.
Losing Lou Would be bad enough, but losing Franco, I mean, come on.
OK.
What about Sean? Sean's marrying Maggie.
He's gonna be dead in 31/2 Months tops anyways.
If I lose Lou and Franco, I Don't think I can do this job Anymore.
Let me help you.
I can do that.
I can make a Better life for the both of us.
OK, we can go anywhere.
We Could, um, we could buy a place On the beach, and we can spend The rest of our lives for the Next 30 years watching the kids Grow up and getting married And their grandkids play in The ocean, and in the sand.
I am so rich.
I have all that Widow money just sitting in the Bank untouched.
The only thing I've done since Jimmy went is Change houses a couple times, And I made a pretty penny on The profit, thank you very much.
All I have to do is call the Bank, and the next day, I would Have a check for $3.
1 million.
How do you have that much Money? Interest, Tommy.
I mean, it's Been 5 years.
Shit, it has been 5 years.
Jesus Christ.
What's the matter? You know Johnny stackhouse.
Of course I do.
You hear about what happened? Yes.
They took his legs.
Oh, God.
We went to probie school Together.
Me, him, and Jimmy.
Makes you think, you know? Honey, look at me.
I won't Let anything happen to you.
Look at me.
I would never let Anything happen to you.
Just Tell me to call the bank.
I will Call the bank.
Shh.
Hey, Sheila.
Hi.
How you doing? Damn, girl, you look fantastic.
How you been, huh? Good to see you.
It's good to see you, too.
You smell good, too.
I do? Nice perfume.
Yeah.
Yeah, see you.
Oh, that's it, baby.
Oh, yeah, ride the pony.
Ride the baloney pony.
Theodore, is this is as good As you thought it was gonna be? Don't talk.
I want you to put All your focus and all your Energy into the sex.
That's Your goal for the next 40 Minutes.
If it isn't sex, Don't do it.
Goddamn it, get off.
I got To answer the phone.
Goddamn guards calling every They expect us to get into a Rhythm? They need to know that you're Still here, and I'm not dead.
What am I gonna do? Strangle you with your own Panties? Oh, you want to try that? Yeah.
Hello.
Oh, hello, mo.
Yeah, I'm still here.
And she's Still alive.
Hi.
Listen, I knew the deal Coming in, but this is goddamn Disruptive.
Trying to get a Little pussy here.
It's not like I'm gonna climb up inside there And have her smuggle me out.
Jesus, Mike, you try and Flush a dictionary? Will you keep it down in There.
I'm trying to have a Private conversation here.
It's like the battle of The bulge in there.
Bobby, give me five, Will you? I got something going Here, all right? I gotta go out ot the truck And pick up the heavy artillery Anyway.
Don't go too far, OK? I got something wicked brewing Here.
OK, see, here's the thing Is, sir.
I, uh see, my family, they really Raised me right.
I think.
And I wanted to do this Respectfully and officially.
So that's why I'm here, Mr.
Gavin.
To ask you most Sincerely, and most some other word, for your Daughter Maggie's hand in Marriage.
Are you retarded? I can't believe Tommy's Missing it.
I'm taking notes.
OK.
I just, I mean, I had some Reading comprehension issues In school.
I had to take the Sats, like, 11 times, and I Still didn't pass.
What's the point in asking Me for her hand in marriage When you've already asked her For it? That's a good point.
That's A good point, dad.
Is it OK If I call you that? It's not Too early to call you that.
I don't know.
Is it too early for me to call You asshole? to call you Asshole.
You do realize that she is A bloodsucking hell bitch.
What? This is a private Conversation.
You see these shoes, these Are gonna go right up your ass, Old man.
You see how she talks to me? And I'm her father.
Imagine What she'll say to you.
I don't have to imagine.
She really, she you know, you seem like A nice kid.
A little slow, But nice.
You see that door Over there? Mm-Hmm.
Use it.
And never look back.
You know what, that's it, You're out.
You're not invited To the wedding.
No invitation For you.
What about the wedding after This one? Am I banned from That, too? OK, please.
Will you guys Just please not fight, really.
As a member, future member of The family.
Please don't fight.
OK, listen, sir.
Marrying Maggie, it's the biggest and The scariest decision I've ever Made in my life, but it's also, It's the smartest and the Surest, and I just, I love her, You know? I love her fire and Her passion.
And I even love Her anger.
So it, really, it's Important to me, to us, Mr.
Gavin, if we could have your blessing.
Oh oh, hell.
Welcome to the family retard.
That's that's so great.
Goddammit! Sheesh! And they wonder why we kill.
Hello? Hey, girl.
It's me.
You must be psychic.
I've Been thinking about you all day.
Yeah, I've been thinking About you, too.
Where you at? I'm at home.
Really? Hey, uh, how about I come over there.
Uh how about I meet you out Somewhere, or we go back to Your place? Franco? Nat, what's going on, huh? What do you mean? I think you got something Going on over there, OK? Something you don't want me Knowing about.
Now are you gonna Come clean or what? It's complicated.
Is it a guy? Yeah.
But it isn't what You think.
Yeah, well, then why don't You explain it to me then, OK? Let it ring.
Mr.
Reilly.
Hello.
What do you want? I came to apologize for The other day.
You're lucky I didn't talk To your supervisor.
The shit you said.
You have to understand, I see the pain.
So much of it.
The afflicted, they are free From it as far as we know.
But the families, the loved ones Left behind.
If you don't want To let go, I understand.
But your Jeannie, just because She living in another world, That doesn't mean you have to Stop living in this one.
I wish you the best.
What did you say your Name was? Karla? Karleen.
Thanks, karleen.
Thanks a lot.
My heart's a lot lighter now.
I'll see you soon.
I hope.
So, dude, she gets all quiet.
Big moment of drama.
Oh, boy.
Yeah.
Hey, Chief.
Good morning.
Good morning, boys.
What's up, Chief.
Anyway, She cops to it, man.
She is Living with a dude.
Holy shit.
You were right.
Well, almost.
It's her Brother.
He's, like, uh, A little slow.
So she looks After him.
I'm going over there Tonight, I'm gonna meet him.
Crisis averted.
Oh, jeez.
Good work, brother.
Nice to hear.
Yeah.
Hey, how's it going? Hey, how are you, can I Help you? Uh, yeah, Mike Siletti works Here, right? Uh, yeah.
He's upstairs.
No, that's OK.
I just wanted To drop this off.
He left it At my place.
I'm Chris.
He's Probably never mentioned me.
No, I don't think so.
Well, I'm not surprised.
Anyway, I didn't know if this Was important.
It looks kind of Official.
This is a transfer.
What is this, a joke? I don't think so.
That is Mike's signature right there.
Jesus Christ.
You work day In and day out with a guy, You think you know him.
Well, I'm sure there are some Other things about Mike You don't know.
Oh, yeah, like what? Well, let's just say, he's A big fan of sex in the city.
Oh, me, too.
It's a great Show.
You know what I never Understood? Why we never got To see Sarah Jessica parker's Tits.
You know, I mean cynthia Nixon, sure.
Kim cattrell, Why not? Never Sarah Jessica Parker's.
All right, let's just put it This way.
He's playing for the Other team, dude.
No way.
What's up, dude? What's up, dude, that's all You got to say to me? Pretty much.
OK, for your information, Chris was just here.
All right, I know everything.
I know what's Going on.
Chris was here? That's right.
Oh, shit.
Yeah, I mean, we're such Good friends.
Huh, Mike, when Were you gonna tell me About this? Never.
Asshole.
I was confused.
Yeah, OK, well, now I'm Confused, too, all right? Why didn't you talk to me About it? Maybe I would've gone The same way.
Get out of here.
Yeah, bro.
I like to keep it Fresh.
I like to try new things.
Switch hit.
Different positions.
How can you go around behind Our backs and do this? Sean, you gotta know the Truth.
It was just Chris.
Oh, don't pin this on him.
But it was him.
I mean, we're Talking maybe a half a dozen Blow jobs.
It was always him Blowing me, I never kissed him Or slept in the same bed With him.
It was just the blow Jobs, I swear.
OK, what are we talking About here? I'm talking about what Chris Told you.
Yeah, all Chris told me About was this transfer order.
Holy shit! Sean, please, just don't tell Anybody.
Ba ba ba boom .
Mike's gay.
Oh, hell.
I know that.
You talked to Chris, too? Who's Chris? Chris is his lover man, Uh, guy.
I can explain, Lou.
Please, Just don't let anybody Else know.
Know what? Mike's gay.
Yeah.
Tell me something I don't know.
Oh, you mean, gay gay.
You know, the place I used To live, they were putting this New building up across the Street, and every morning on My way to work, I'd pass by The construction guys out there.
And there was this one guy, Chris, and I noticed him a Couple of times, and one day, I was passing by, he sort of, Like, smiled at me.
OK, I think I'm gonna puke.
It freaked me out, too.
You know, every morning, he'd, Like, give me this, like, smile.
And one day, when I stepped out, He wasn't there.
Did you check the end of Your cock? Lou.
Let him talk.
Go ahead, kid.
He was gone, and I sort of, Like missed him.
All right.
My balls just Went up behind my lungs.
I don't know how to describe The way I was feeling, you know? He was a nice guy.
And we Started talking, and, um, You know, I guess, I was, Like, lonely or something.
So I moved into his place, And it was great at first, And then it got weird.
Oh.
Then it got weird.
'Cause I was wondering when That was gonna kick in.
He was into me in that way.
That's when the blow Jobs started.
And it freaked me out at first, Guys.
I knew it wasn't right For me, you know? L-L-I he's gone, I'm not with him.
It's over, I left, and that's The whole story.
Bullshit, Mike, what about The transfer? I filled the form out, but I Didn't turn it in.
Cut the shit, Mike.
You Already got your new house all Picked out.
How do you know that? Because, he's playing for Their softball team.
What? Yeah.
Your boyfriend, Chris, he Told me that you were batting For the other team.
What? OK, ignoring that, we have A serious issue here.
It's a Matter of what everyone is Comfortable with.
Given the Close quarters we share on a Daily basis, I don't know where The hell to even start.
Yeah, I'll tell you where To start, Chief.
I don't want Him showering with us, that's For sure.
Nothing personal, Mikey, I just don't need you Staring at my hangdown like it's The ala carte special at Chez homo.
You know what, and another Thing, I don't want to know About your new boyfriends, or Your new clothes, or nights out At the disco, or liza minnelli Or ass toys.
Off limits from Now on.
I'm not gay.
I didn't do Anything sexual to him, you Know? I'm totally into chicks.
Totally.
And I'm seeing This girl for the past couple Of weeks.
Yeah.
A girl named dave.
You know what? If this is The way it's gonna be, if I Can't make a little mistake in My personal life, then maybe I should transfer! Hey, hey, kid.
Wait.
Wait, wait, wait.
Come here.
Come here.
Listen, guys.
Better or worse, I think we all consider Ourselves kind of a family here.
Correct? Yeah, right? All right? Now whether Mike's a fag sorry, Mike.
Or not, he's a Part of that family.
Correct? I think as a firefighter, he's, You know, been starting to Pull his own weight.
You know? You know, and maybe he acts A little faggy from time to Time.
Sorry, Mike.
But you know, In the shit, he's been learning, He's been performing.
I mean, Johnny stack would not be alive Today without mikey here.
Right? As far as it goes here In the house, I trust the kid.
You know? I feel like if I'm, You know, if I'm stuck somewhere In the job, that he's got my, Uh, you know, he's got me Covered.
Come here, kid.
Come here.
Thanks, Tommy.
I love you, man.
I got no problem with this.
I heard that.
I'm in.
I'll take a piece of that.
Hey.
So how you doing? Good.
Come on in.
Yeah.
Wow.
Incredible.
I'm finally getting to look At the place.
Starting to think you lived In a cardboard box somewhere.
Richard, come say hi.
He Loves meeting new people.
Great.
This is my big brother rich.
Rich, this is Franco.
How's it going? Oh, uh, great, man.
How you doing? I mean, other Than the obvious stuff.
Sorry.
If you want to run, do it Now and get it over with.
No, sweetheart.
Not me.
I'm sticking.
Play checkers with me.
Checkers? Yeah, sure.
I thought the three of us Could go out and get something To eat.
I'll just go wash up.
You guys play a game, and I'll Change and come back.
Don't take long.
You'll be fine.
Let him Win, rich.
Sit down.
Oh, yeah.
What's your name again? Oh, I'm Franco.
Franco.
I go first.
Sure.
Now you go.
All right, um you know, I really, I don't Know this game that well.
I'll move for you.
OK.
Thanks, rich.
You suck.
Yeah.
Well, uh I don't Think the learning curve's That steep.
I'll figure it out.
Uh, dude, I really don't think You should be plastic's not For eating, man.
Nat! Don't tell her.
I will kick your goddamn ass.
No problem.
Your move.
All right.
What have you got there? Just a little motivation.
I don't know if he can get Through this, Tom.
God knows If anybody can, it's him.
We picked this place out.
To retire to.
Bought it last Fall.
I've been buying Furniture and patio furniture, And pillows.
Lots of pillows.
God, he hates pillows.
Anyways, he kept, he kept saying He was gonna put in for his Pension, you know? Not that he Was serious.
I think he was Just yessing me to death.
He lived for the job.
But now, If he goes, what do I get? At least the widows from 9/11, Not that you can put a price On any one life, I know that, But at least they have some Money to carry on.
Me, I got Nothing.
Half a husband.
And a house.
Full of pillows.
I don't know, maybe if he wakes Up and sees this, maybe it will Give him some strength.
Maybe We'll both end up there somehow.
That wasn't so bad.
You're Really good with him.
Yeah, well, you know, I've Had a lot of practice.
Couple Guys in my house are only a Notch or two above your brother, If that.
Man, how did I get so lucky? I don't know.
I was just Thinking the same thing myself.
Nigger.
Did he just Richard, watch your language.
Did he just call me a nigger? He has a little tourette's Thing going on in addition to Everything else.
Right, uh, papa, I'm Puerto rican.
If you want to Call me a name, at least try to Keep it in the right ballpark, OK? Keep walking.
I'm tired.
OK.
Nigger.
Whoa, whoa.
What did you Just call me, man? Uh, hey, brother.
It's cool.
He was talking to me.
Oh, it's cool, it's cool? He just calls you a nigger and That's cool? What kind of stupid Ass nigger are you? I'm puerto rican, man.
Oh, goddamn spic.
Look, man.
We don't want any Problems, all right? It's cool.
Nigger.
OK, we got to go.
Sorry, man.
Sorry.
Come on, guys.
What the hell happened to my Bunker gear? It's like somebody Washed it and it shrank.
That's mine.
That's my New gear.
What? You know, Maggie, she didn't Want to take my name after we Get married, so I thought I'd Take hers, you know? I'm gonna Be Sean Garrity-Gavin.
You're shitting me, right? No.
God, not at all.
I mean, it's too many Goddamn letters to put on the Back.
Plus there's that slashy Dashy thing.
What's that called? The hyphen.
Yeah, so I just, I thought I'd use yours.
I mean, I know It's gonna be problematic seeing Us two brothers working at the Same house, but we'll figure It out.
My life's officially in The shitter, by the way.
Listen, don't look now, But you're going for another Lap around the bowl.
Christ.
Um I'd call the cops, but looks Like they're already here.
You all right? Yeah, I'll be all right.
Hey.
I'm here because, uh you know, I didn't want you finding out From somebody else.
Janet's pregnant.
It wasn't planned.
You know, it just happened.
It is what it is.
And we're happy.
Obviously, we don't know what The sex of the child is, but Look at the upside, Tommy.
If it's a boy, then dad can Stop with that whole male heir Bullshit thing that he keeps Talking about.
OK, Tommy? You're asking me if it's OK? Yeah.
Congratulations.
You coming? Yeah.
Hey, laurel and hardy.
Hey, how's the family? Oh, they're fine, you know? Probie went in after him.
There was a huge collapse.
This thing's blocked.
Stack! I'm gonna get you Out of here.
Stay with me, OK.
You told me you were a One-Guy guy.
I am.
That's why I'm Screwing around with a woman.
See, see, I knew it, man.
You're such a jerk-Off, Mike.
I'm confused.
I miss pussy.
We show up there.
We totally Act like we're together.
By 11 o'clock tonight, she can't Keep her hands off the phone.
Johnny and Janet cursing our Souls to eternal hell.
Maggie Gavin, will you Marry me? I already said yes, doofus.
Come on, you're totally Serious? Yes.
You're gonna marry me? Yes.
Oh, that is awesome.
Just so I'm clear.
I marry Her, I get to have conjugal Visits? Once every 10 days for an Hour at a time.
Perfect.
You got any Breath spray? I'm Natalie.
Hi, Natalie.
I'm Franco.
So, this shit you're trying To forget.
What's her name? No, no.
No, no, no.
I think it's a little too soon For that much truth.
I had an epiphany, Tom.
I'm turning over a new leaf.
A new leaf? Yeah, I got closure.
Shit.
That's got to be tough, Huh, Tommy? Knowing I'm banging Your ex.
Knowing you're never Gonna get mine.
Tommy yeah I always knew that you'd Be good at that.
I think I'm I think I'm Ready to go again.
Oh what? Hey, stud.
Is that Janet? Is that angie? Well, the moment is complete.
She's got a lot of stuff that She left here that she still Comes to pick up sometimes.
She's probably like maybe Pick up a dress? Got a long way to go.
Is it Anywhere we know? Smells like food on the Stove to me, doesn't it? Yeah.
FDNY.
Hello.
Fire department.
Open up.
FDNY, let's go! Pop it.
All right.
FDNY.
Oh, my God.
We got a customer Right in here.
Holy shit.
Jesus Christ.
That's one guy? Yeah.
You believe this? We got two thirds of The million man march Right here.
Let's get him up and get Him back to the circus.
Or the knicks.
Same thing really.
Ready? With your legs.
Lift your knees.
Oh, Jesus! God.
It's like Trying to lift rhode island.
Rhode island's not this Tall, pal.
Guys, I got another broad Back there.
OK.
Hey, we got another Girl in the back.
Grab her.
OK.
Holy shit, is that Dennis rodman? Go get the girl.
All right.
Michael, give us a hand, Will you? Holy shit.
Kareem abdul Jabbar.
He looks really young.
That's such a positive issue With black people.
They always Look a lot younger than They are, you know? Let me try.
Jesus, look at the size of That guy.
No wonder it took you So long to get him out.
Yeah, we were thinking about Cutting him up and bringing him Down in pieces or something.
That would have meant an extra Trip down to get a saw.
You OK? I've got dry mouth.
Yeah, man.
My mouth is Dry, too.
I'm starving.
Are you hungry? I could eat.
Pizza.
Yeah.
And chips.
And dip.
Dip.
Yeah, man.
Dip.
Hey, Chief, are you there? Yeah, Garrity.
Go ahead.
Uh, listen, Chief.
Mikey And I, we got into this back Room here.
Yeah? Looks like a goddamn Greenhouse.
Chief, it's amazing.
There's like beds with dirt And plants and all kinds of Sunlamps.
I think that must be What caused the fire.
Are we talking about what I Think we're talking about? Uh, yeah I don't know, Chief.
What are We talking about? Pot, marijuana, weed.
Yes, yes.
That's definitely What we're talking about.
This guy is growing, like, Hundreds of plants.
At least he Used to be.
They've all gone up In smoke now.
Smells like the Inside of a bong in here.
Bonggg that's such a funny word.
Garrity, get your ass out Here on the double.
Hey, uh, Chief? What? Should I, uh, should I Bring mikey with me? Yes, goddammit, yes.
Hey, come on.
Bong.
Bonggg bong! Goons.
I'm surrounded by Goons.
Hey, boys, do me a favor.
Keep an eye on my friend here.
I got to notify the cops.
This Is now officially a crime scene.
Dude.
Dude? Yeah, there's nothing In there.
Just growing Flowers in there.
What kind of flowers? Geraniums.
Geraniums.
Settle down, boys, will you? Get me some cd73s out of My rig.
Hey, we got any Bob marley? I'm ready for some reggae, Chief.
Cd73s, they're exposure Forms.
You guys have been Exposed to a foreign substance During the course of operations Which means we have to Report it.
Which means we have To wait around and fill the Forms out.
You guys are not Paying attention to me anyway.
So, I think what he's saying Is there's no cds, man.
No music.
Wow.
Screw the cds, I want pizza.
Yeah, man.
All right, guys.
All that Stuff I said about God over The years.
Yeah.
I take most of it back.
Why? Oh yeah.
Hey, brother.
God's pizza.
We deliver.
I'd do her.
You would? Oh, yeah, in a heartbeat.
That's interesting.
Wait a minute.
Who are we Talking about here? Heather mills mccartney.
Ex-Wife of former beatle Paul.
Yeah.
I'd hit that.
Really? Oh, yeah, man.
Even though she only has The one leg.
Tommy, it's a bonus.
How is it a bonus? It gives you an extra Sexual position to enjoy, For one.
That being, her Laying on her side, OK, the Side with the leg, you straddle Said leg, and do her sideways Without worrying about the Extra pesky leg getting in The way.
What about the stub? I didn't think about that.
Yeah.
Pass.
How you doing with those Forms, boys? Still working on it, Chief.
Here you go.
Since when are you kenneth Mills mccartney? Did I write that? Come on.
Hey, probie.
Wake up.
Anymore pizza? Your social security number, Mike.
You're missing a few Digits.
Oh, what did I put down? No.
Just the number 6.
Come on.
Work on it.
Come on.
Look.
What's up, Garrity? Guess what? What if the Government is, like, secretly Recording everything that we Do and say with secret devices That are planted, like, right Out in the open, right under Our noses? This parking meter Right here? I was walking by, And it started blinking.
And Then it started making this, Like, camera shutter clicking Sound.
I think it took my Picture.
Was it your good side? It was straight on.
Oh.
I was squinting though.
You better get back and Do it again.
You're right.
I'm gonna Go back.
Hey, fix your hair, dude.
* on another day, Come on, come on, With these ropes I tied, Can we do no wrong? Now we grieve 'Cause now is gone, Things were good When we were young, With my teeth locked down I can see the blood Of a thousand men Who have come and gone, Now we grieve 'Cause now is gone, Things were good When we were young, Is it safe to say? Come on, come on, Was it right to leave? Come on, come on, Will I ever learn? Come on, come on, Come on, come on, Come on, come on * Jesus.
You scared me.
How you doing? Not so good.
I go to the bathroom twice an Hour and cry my eyes out.
Just, I don't want John to Hear me.
I thought they were just Taking one leg.
Oh, no, no.
That's, uh that was yesterday.
They took the other one this Morning.
What am I gonna tell him when He wakes up? I just hope he doesn't Blame me.
No, no, no.
He won't Blame you.
Look at him.
He's half A man.
Sorry.
It's OK, it's OK, it's OK.
It's OK.
You go home.
Hang out with The kids, OK? Are you sure? Yeah.
I'll stay with him.
Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
OK.
Thank you.
OK.
What are you doing? Just getting some of my Clothes.
Some of my stuff.
Moving out? Yeah, I guess so.
I think so.
So, were you gonna tell me, Or were you just gonna sneak Off in the middle of the night Like a goddamn pussy? It's morning, dude.
You know what I mean, man.
Look, I don't want to make A big thing out of this, You know? You're a great guy, But it was just a mistake.
Don't call it that, Mike.
It's not right for me.
You know, I thought, maybe I'd Get a little more comfortable With the idea, but now I know That that's never gonna happen.
Oh, oh.
So all those times I was going down on you, you Were uncomfortable.
Well, you Seemed pretty comfortable to Me, Mike.
I mean, if you didn't Like what was happening, why The hell didn't you just Speak up, man? You know how it is when Someone's going down on you.
You don't want to be rude.
Well, I catch you here again, I'm gonna kick your ass.
Now get out.
What about the rest of My stuff? You got 2 minutes.
Anything You leave behind is going in The garbage.
I'd start moving If I were you.
Good morning.
Somebody needs to smile.
Yeah, give me a couple Of days.
Where'd Jeannie go? Nurse took her outside for Some fresh air.
You know, I Thought I was gonna have to Move her out of here.
With This place costing so much.
She nearly fell apart when I Mentioned that possibility.
So for the last month or so, I've been out there busting my Ass trying to earn a little Extra scratch.
Now, I tell her she can stay.
Everything's all right, and she completely falls apart.
A real meltdown.
She doesn't even know who I am.
Mr.
Reilly, you might want To get a little alzheimer's Of your own.
Excuse me? Despite this little episode, Jeannie's happy here.
Now you Have to be happy, too.
If the visits disturb you, Stop remembering to come.
You telling me forget about My wife? She's forgotten about you.
Because she's sick.
Does it matter what the Reason is? Who the hell do you think You are talking to me like that? Karleen simpson.
Nice to Meet you.
Get the hell out.
I'm sorry if I upset you, Really.
I was only trying To help.
Don't let the disease claim Both of you, Mr.
Reilly.
That's what I was trying To say.
Hey.
I thought I smelled Something.
What you making, Baby? Huevos rancheros.
Oh, looks like scrambled Eggs to me.
Well, you didn't have any Tomatoes, onions, chiles, or Cheese, so that's what it is.
You want to grab me some juice? Yeah.
Oh, snap.
Look at this.
Surprise.
Wow, baby, I don't know who This guy is, but he is stunning.
Work that camera, biotch.
You like? Yeah, yeah.
It's nice.
You are an excellent subject.
You have depth.
Stuff working Beneath the surface.
Secrets.
No.
No, no, no.
No secrets Here, babe.
So the little girl's room Down the hall.
That's not A secret? Apparently not.
You want to tell me? I had a daughter.
She's not Here anymore.
She died? Don't worry.
She's fine.
Very much alive.
Living a life Only about a thousand times Better than I can ever give her.
You want to explain? Another time.
What about you though, huh? Any secrets you want to share? I'm an open book.
You think? How come you're always coming Over here? I mean, I mentioned Going to your place a couple Of times, you always manage To sidestep it.
What's the deal? Maybe my place is a pig sty.
No.
I don't think so.
So, anything you want to Tell me? OK.
There is one thing.
You're late for work.
Have some eggs.
I'm gonna grab My stuff and walk out with you.
Uh-Huh.
Both legs? Yeah.
How's he doing? He's so doped up, he doesn't Even know, you know? How about deb, She holding up? I think she's afraid he's Gonna blame her when he comes Out of it.
What's wrong With you? Rough morning.
Oh.
Hey, thanks for noticing, Buddy.
All right.
OK.
OK.
What the hell was that? Probably a holdover from The weed.
Hey, bro.
What's going on? How you doing, brother? Do me a favor.
Stop touching me, OK? Mike just touched you.
I saw him.
Mike got a special you know how the pope gives Out special dispensations Sometimes? That's what Mike Got, OK? All right.
Well, I mean, You're gonna have to start Getting used to the fact that In real life, we're gonna be Bros, bro, so you're not married to my Sister yet.
But it's happening soon, You know, and even if I try to Not call you bro, I'm still Gonna be giving you bro energy Loud and clear.
Stop calling me bro.
You call me bro anymore, I'm Gonna punch you in the face.
Very hard.
See, that kind of talk, used To make me think that you Hated me, but now I know, it's Sibling rivalry.
Get your hands yo, guys.
Come check This out.
What does he want? I don't know.
Oh, yeah.
You gotta be kidding me.
Nice hog, Lou.
Hey, thanks.
That is some sweet machine.
Jesus, you know what we got To do, we got to get a couple Of those bikes, you know what I mean? Start our own little Family gang.
The gatlin family Ramblers.
Go inside the house.
Why, why? Go inside the house Right now.
Family squabble.
No biggie.
So how do you guys like The ride? Nothing like a new set of Shiny wheels to turn a midlife Crisis around.
At this point, jer, I'm not Interested in turning it Around, I'm interested in Outrunning the goddamn thing.
Yo, Lou, let me take it for A spin around the block.
I don't think so.
You got A recruitment roster to report On inside.
And then you got a Sink full of dishes.
It's a mess.
Nice.
Make the puerto rican Guy wash the dishes.
Thanks a Lot, Chief.
Now you know why I'm taking that lieutenant's Exam.
All right? Hey, don't crack your head On this thing.
I need you Around here.
Bikes.
So, I guess this is what the Terminator looks like without The steroids, huh? Very funny, very funny.
It's the new me.
Yeah, I'm Getting the rest of my leathers Next week.
I'm gonna find some Nice, chunky blonde girl with A tattoo right on her ass crack.
Mm-Hmm.
Then you know, after that, Probably be working security For the stones.
You want me to Get you backstage, meet mick? OK, what's going on? Come on, Tom.
A little Support.
I'm trying I'm trying New things.
Uh-Huh.
I don't get it.
Look, for the first time In a long time, you know, I feel Like I have possibilities.
I feel like I can maybe turn Things around.
Maybe even, You know, God forbid, be happy.
What's the point in getting There if you're gonna burn up In a fire, huh? Right.
Look, I got this cousin Down in Florida.
Yeah.
He's got this fishing boat.
Charter boat.
Takes rich Tourists out for the day.
Fishing, you know.
Makes a Whole boatload of money.
Got a first mate, the guy got Married, he's not coming back.
He asked me if I was interested, I said, no.
But now I'm Thinking, the guy's got a Guest house for me, you know.
A beautiful boat.
Fresh air, Sunshine.
Now, I'm thinking yes.
I mean, it's an interesting Plan.
It's a beautiful boat, But, not for you.
Well, why not? Well Florida.
First of all.
I mean jeb Bush, Florida, OK? Yeah.
That's number one.
Number Two, have you heard about the Alligators.
It's been all over Cnn the last couple of weeks, There have been alligators Climbing out of the swamps Down there, and eating joggers Right off the jogging path.
There was, like, two women Jogging, and they got eaten by Alligators.
I don't jog.
When they're done eating The joggers, they're gonna come After the sedentary people, OK? And then, the bermuda triangle Which is right off the coast Of Florida.
I mean, you could Just, disappear, OK? Not to Mention, cubans.
I'm not talking Cigars, I'm talking actual Cubans.
Wall to wall.
All right? Florida's not for you.
I don't know, you know? Maybe you didn't hear me ask About a little support before.
Lou, I'm just saying.
Ahh yeah.
Look who decides to pick up.
Listen, man.
Something's Come up, you know.
Something That you got to know.
Something That I don't want to tell you About over a telephone, so I was Kind of hoping you and me, you Know, we could get together.
Have a little face to face.
I could tell you in person.
Tommy, are you there? Listen, Tommy, man.
How long Are we gonna keep on doing this, You know? I mean, you and I, We go a lot of years ahead of Us, brother, and I just, what Do you say, we work together And just try to put this Bullshit behind us, man? You know? When can we get Together? Seanster.
Hey, hey.
What's up? Hey, man.
You want to go Grab a drink? I can't, man.
I got stuff to Take care of for the wedding With the lovely bride to be.
You're still marrying Maggie, right? Of course, why? The "lovely" thing threw me Off.
Hey, speaking of lovely, How's it going with Natalie? She Sounds great, dude.
Yeah.
She is.
Possibly.
Possibly, why is something Wrong? I don't know, man.
I think She might have another guy on The hook.
A guy she could be Living with.
No shit.
Yeah.
She never wants to go Back to her place for some Reason.
Plus every time we're Together, her phone rings like It's the same person every time.
Pretty sure it's a dude.
Man, that sucks.
Yeah.
Tell me about it.
Finally found a girl I can get Serious about, turns out she Could be playing me.
Goddamn karma again, right? You got to confront her, You know, see if it's true.
See what's going on.
Yeah, I know.
Love's a pain In the balls.
Tell me about it.
You know, what have I told You a million, zillion, Gajillion goddamn times.
Uh, no.
About the car, OK? Oh, I don't what do we do every 3,000 Miles? We check the oil.
Oh, right.
Check the oil, check the Oil, check the oil.
OK, OK.
Check the oil.
I got it.
Look, I'm very busy.
I got lots of things.
I got Lots of lists.
OK, on one of the lists, put Check the oil, OK? Do you want Me to put one of them little Stickers in, you know when you Go to the shop, they put the Sticker in the window.
No, bossy.
I got it.
I'm not being bossy.
I'm Just trying to help you have a Safe vehicle.
You are being very stick up the assy.
Stick up the what? Honey, what is wrong With you? Nothing's wrong with me.
Come on, you're so, you're, Like, on edge.
I'm not on edge.
Tommy, Tommy.
Don't, don't, don't start With the tommys.
Tommy OK.
I think the crew may be Breaking up.
What? Yeah.
Frank's taking the Lieutenant's test, and probie's Put come here.
Probie's been thinking of Putting in for a transfer, and I think even Lou's thinking of Leaving.
No way.
Yeah.
Sheila.
Oh, hi.
Hi.
How you doing? I'm good.
How are you? Good to see you.
Good to see you.
Garrity, your mom's on the Phone.
All right.
I'll see you Later.
Bye.
See you, bro.
Yeah.
Bro? What else? What do you mean? You work with a bunch of Guys, you laugh your ass off When you're together, and you Know, blah blah blah, things Click.
And then, you know, I'm Expected to work with a bunch Of college age kids who decide They want to be heroes after I don't want to get my ass Melted off working with these Guys who don't know what the Hell they're doing.
Losing Lou Would be bad enough, but losing Franco, I mean, come on.
OK.
What about Sean? Sean's marrying Maggie.
He's gonna be dead in 31/2 Months tops anyways.
If I lose Lou and Franco, I Don't think I can do this job Anymore.
Let me help you.
I can do that.
I can make a Better life for the both of us.
OK, we can go anywhere.
We Could, um, we could buy a place On the beach, and we can spend The rest of our lives for the Next 30 years watching the kids Grow up and getting married And their grandkids play in The ocean, and in the sand.
I am so rich.
I have all that Widow money just sitting in the Bank untouched.
The only thing I've done since Jimmy went is Change houses a couple times, And I made a pretty penny on The profit, thank you very much.
All I have to do is call the Bank, and the next day, I would Have a check for $3.
1 million.
How do you have that much Money? Interest, Tommy.
I mean, it's Been 5 years.
Shit, it has been 5 years.
Jesus Christ.
What's the matter? You know Johnny stackhouse.
Of course I do.
You hear about what happened? Yes.
They took his legs.
Oh, God.
We went to probie school Together.
Me, him, and Jimmy.
Makes you think, you know? Honey, look at me.
I won't Let anything happen to you.
Look at me.
I would never let Anything happen to you.
Just Tell me to call the bank.
I will Call the bank.
Shh.
Hey, Sheila.
Hi.
How you doing? Damn, girl, you look fantastic.
How you been, huh? Good to see you.
It's good to see you, too.
You smell good, too.
I do? Nice perfume.
Yeah.
Yeah, see you.
Oh, that's it, baby.
Oh, yeah, ride the pony.
Ride the baloney pony.
Theodore, is this is as good As you thought it was gonna be? Don't talk.
I want you to put All your focus and all your Energy into the sex.
That's Your goal for the next 40 Minutes.
If it isn't sex, Don't do it.
Goddamn it, get off.
I got To answer the phone.
Goddamn guards calling every They expect us to get into a Rhythm? They need to know that you're Still here, and I'm not dead.
What am I gonna do? Strangle you with your own Panties? Oh, you want to try that? Yeah.
Hello.
Oh, hello, mo.
Yeah, I'm still here.
And she's Still alive.
Hi.
Listen, I knew the deal Coming in, but this is goddamn Disruptive.
Trying to get a Little pussy here.
It's not like I'm gonna climb up inside there And have her smuggle me out.
Jesus, Mike, you try and Flush a dictionary? Will you keep it down in There.
I'm trying to have a Private conversation here.
It's like the battle of The bulge in there.
Bobby, give me five, Will you? I got something going Here, all right? I gotta go out ot the truck And pick up the heavy artillery Anyway.
Don't go too far, OK? I got something wicked brewing Here.
OK, see, here's the thing Is, sir.
I, uh see, my family, they really Raised me right.
I think.
And I wanted to do this Respectfully and officially.
So that's why I'm here, Mr.
Gavin.
To ask you most Sincerely, and most some other word, for your Daughter Maggie's hand in Marriage.
Are you retarded? I can't believe Tommy's Missing it.
I'm taking notes.
OK.
I just, I mean, I had some Reading comprehension issues In school.
I had to take the Sats, like, 11 times, and I Still didn't pass.
What's the point in asking Me for her hand in marriage When you've already asked her For it? That's a good point.
That's A good point, dad.
Is it OK If I call you that? It's not Too early to call you that.
I don't know.
Is it too early for me to call You asshole? to call you Asshole.
You do realize that she is A bloodsucking hell bitch.
What? This is a private Conversation.
You see these shoes, these Are gonna go right up your ass, Old man.
You see how she talks to me? And I'm her father.
Imagine What she'll say to you.
I don't have to imagine.
She really, she you know, you seem like A nice kid.
A little slow, But nice.
You see that door Over there? Mm-Hmm.
Use it.
And never look back.
You know what, that's it, You're out.
You're not invited To the wedding.
No invitation For you.
What about the wedding after This one? Am I banned from That, too? OK, please.
Will you guys Just please not fight, really.
As a member, future member of The family.
Please don't fight.
OK, listen, sir.
Marrying Maggie, it's the biggest and The scariest decision I've ever Made in my life, but it's also, It's the smartest and the Surest, and I just, I love her, You know? I love her fire and Her passion.
And I even love Her anger.
So it, really, it's Important to me, to us, Mr.
Gavin, if we could have your blessing.
Oh oh, hell.
Welcome to the family retard.
That's that's so great.
Goddammit! Sheesh! And they wonder why we kill.
Hello? Hey, girl.
It's me.
You must be psychic.
I've Been thinking about you all day.
Yeah, I've been thinking About you, too.
Where you at? I'm at home.
Really? Hey, uh, how about I come over there.
Uh how about I meet you out Somewhere, or we go back to Your place? Franco? Nat, what's going on, huh? What do you mean? I think you got something Going on over there, OK? Something you don't want me Knowing about.
Now are you gonna Come clean or what? It's complicated.
Is it a guy? Yeah.
But it isn't what You think.
Yeah, well, then why don't You explain it to me then, OK? Let it ring.
Mr.
Reilly.
Hello.
What do you want? I came to apologize for The other day.
You're lucky I didn't talk To your supervisor.
The shit you said.
You have to understand, I see the pain.
So much of it.
The afflicted, they are free From it as far as we know.
But the families, the loved ones Left behind.
If you don't want To let go, I understand.
But your Jeannie, just because She living in another world, That doesn't mean you have to Stop living in this one.
I wish you the best.
What did you say your Name was? Karla? Karleen.
Thanks, karleen.
Thanks a lot.
My heart's a lot lighter now.
I'll see you soon.
I hope.
So, dude, she gets all quiet.
Big moment of drama.
Oh, boy.
Yeah.
Hey, Chief.
Good morning.
Good morning, boys.
What's up, Chief.
Anyway, She cops to it, man.
She is Living with a dude.
Holy shit.
You were right.
Well, almost.
It's her Brother.
He's, like, uh, A little slow.
So she looks After him.
I'm going over there Tonight, I'm gonna meet him.
Crisis averted.
Oh, jeez.
Good work, brother.
Nice to hear.
Yeah.
Hey, how's it going? Hey, how are you, can I Help you? Uh, yeah, Mike Siletti works Here, right? Uh, yeah.
He's upstairs.
No, that's OK.
I just wanted To drop this off.
He left it At my place.
I'm Chris.
He's Probably never mentioned me.
No, I don't think so.
Well, I'm not surprised.
Anyway, I didn't know if this Was important.
It looks kind of Official.
This is a transfer.
What is this, a joke? I don't think so.
That is Mike's signature right there.
Jesus Christ.
You work day In and day out with a guy, You think you know him.
Well, I'm sure there are some Other things about Mike You don't know.
Oh, yeah, like what? Well, let's just say, he's A big fan of sex in the city.
Oh, me, too.
It's a great Show.
You know what I never Understood? Why we never got To see Sarah Jessica parker's Tits.
You know, I mean cynthia Nixon, sure.
Kim cattrell, Why not? Never Sarah Jessica Parker's.
All right, let's just put it This way.
He's playing for the Other team, dude.
No way.
What's up, dude? What's up, dude, that's all You got to say to me? Pretty much.
OK, for your information, Chris was just here.
All right, I know everything.
I know what's Going on.
Chris was here? That's right.
Oh, shit.
Yeah, I mean, we're such Good friends.
Huh, Mike, when Were you gonna tell me About this? Never.
Asshole.
I was confused.
Yeah, OK, well, now I'm Confused, too, all right? Why didn't you talk to me About it? Maybe I would've gone The same way.
Get out of here.
Yeah, bro.
I like to keep it Fresh.
I like to try new things.
Switch hit.
Different positions.
How can you go around behind Our backs and do this? Sean, you gotta know the Truth.
It was just Chris.
Oh, don't pin this on him.
But it was him.
I mean, we're Talking maybe a half a dozen Blow jobs.
It was always him Blowing me, I never kissed him Or slept in the same bed With him.
It was just the blow Jobs, I swear.
OK, what are we talking About here? I'm talking about what Chris Told you.
Yeah, all Chris told me About was this transfer order.
Holy shit! Sean, please, just don't tell Anybody.
Ba ba ba boom .
Mike's gay.
Oh, hell.
I know that.
You talked to Chris, too? Who's Chris? Chris is his lover man, Uh, guy.
I can explain, Lou.
Please, Just don't let anybody Else know.
Know what? Mike's gay.
Yeah.
Tell me something I don't know.
Oh, you mean, gay gay.
You know, the place I used To live, they were putting this New building up across the Street, and every morning on My way to work, I'd pass by The construction guys out there.
And there was this one guy, Chris, and I noticed him a Couple of times, and one day, I was passing by, he sort of, Like, smiled at me.
OK, I think I'm gonna puke.
It freaked me out, too.
You know, every morning, he'd, Like, give me this, like, smile.
And one day, when I stepped out, He wasn't there.
Did you check the end of Your cock? Lou.
Let him talk.
Go ahead, kid.
He was gone, and I sort of, Like missed him.
All right.
My balls just Went up behind my lungs.
I don't know how to describe The way I was feeling, you know? He was a nice guy.
And we Started talking, and, um, You know, I guess, I was, Like, lonely or something.
So I moved into his place, And it was great at first, And then it got weird.
Oh.
Then it got weird.
'Cause I was wondering when That was gonna kick in.
He was into me in that way.
That's when the blow Jobs started.
And it freaked me out at first, Guys.
I knew it wasn't right For me, you know? L-L-I he's gone, I'm not with him.
It's over, I left, and that's The whole story.
Bullshit, Mike, what about The transfer? I filled the form out, but I Didn't turn it in.
Cut the shit, Mike.
You Already got your new house all Picked out.
How do you know that? Because, he's playing for Their softball team.
What? Yeah.
Your boyfriend, Chris, he Told me that you were batting For the other team.
What? OK, ignoring that, we have A serious issue here.
It's a Matter of what everyone is Comfortable with.
Given the Close quarters we share on a Daily basis, I don't know where The hell to even start.
Yeah, I'll tell you where To start, Chief.
I don't want Him showering with us, that's For sure.
Nothing personal, Mikey, I just don't need you Staring at my hangdown like it's The ala carte special at Chez homo.
You know what, and another Thing, I don't want to know About your new boyfriends, or Your new clothes, or nights out At the disco, or liza minnelli Or ass toys.
Off limits from Now on.
I'm not gay.
I didn't do Anything sexual to him, you Know? I'm totally into chicks.
Totally.
And I'm seeing This girl for the past couple Of weeks.
Yeah.
A girl named dave.
You know what? If this is The way it's gonna be, if I Can't make a little mistake in My personal life, then maybe I should transfer! Hey, hey, kid.
Wait.
Wait, wait, wait.
Come here.
Come here.
Listen, guys.
Better or worse, I think we all consider Ourselves kind of a family here.
Correct? Yeah, right? All right? Now whether Mike's a fag sorry, Mike.
Or not, he's a Part of that family.
Correct? I think as a firefighter, he's, You know, been starting to Pull his own weight.
You know? You know, and maybe he acts A little faggy from time to Time.
Sorry, Mike.
But you know, In the shit, he's been learning, He's been performing.
I mean, Johnny stack would not be alive Today without mikey here.
Right? As far as it goes here In the house, I trust the kid.
You know? I feel like if I'm, You know, if I'm stuck somewhere In the job, that he's got my, Uh, you know, he's got me Covered.
Come here, kid.
Come here.
Thanks, Tommy.
I love you, man.
I got no problem with this.
I heard that.
I'm in.
I'll take a piece of that.
Hey.
So how you doing? Good.
Come on in.
Yeah.
Wow.
Incredible.
I'm finally getting to look At the place.
Starting to think you lived In a cardboard box somewhere.
Richard, come say hi.
He Loves meeting new people.
Great.
This is my big brother rich.
Rich, this is Franco.
How's it going? Oh, uh, great, man.
How you doing? I mean, other Than the obvious stuff.
Sorry.
If you want to run, do it Now and get it over with.
No, sweetheart.
Not me.
I'm sticking.
Play checkers with me.
Checkers? Yeah, sure.
I thought the three of us Could go out and get something To eat.
I'll just go wash up.
You guys play a game, and I'll Change and come back.
Don't take long.
You'll be fine.
Let him Win, rich.
Sit down.
Oh, yeah.
What's your name again? Oh, I'm Franco.
Franco.
I go first.
Sure.
Now you go.
All right, um you know, I really, I don't Know this game that well.
I'll move for you.
OK.
Thanks, rich.
You suck.
Yeah.
Well, uh I don't Think the learning curve's That steep.
I'll figure it out.
Uh, dude, I really don't think You should be plastic's not For eating, man.
Nat! Don't tell her.
I will kick your goddamn ass.
No problem.
Your move.
All right.
What have you got there? Just a little motivation.
I don't know if he can get Through this, Tom.
God knows If anybody can, it's him.
We picked this place out.
To retire to.
Bought it last Fall.
I've been buying Furniture and patio furniture, And pillows.
Lots of pillows.
God, he hates pillows.
Anyways, he kept, he kept saying He was gonna put in for his Pension, you know? Not that he Was serious.
I think he was Just yessing me to death.
He lived for the job.
But now, If he goes, what do I get? At least the widows from 9/11, Not that you can put a price On any one life, I know that, But at least they have some Money to carry on.
Me, I got Nothing.
Half a husband.
And a house.
Full of pillows.
I don't know, maybe if he wakes Up and sees this, maybe it will Give him some strength.
Maybe We'll both end up there somehow.
That wasn't so bad.
You're Really good with him.
Yeah, well, you know, I've Had a lot of practice.
Couple Guys in my house are only a Notch or two above your brother, If that.
Man, how did I get so lucky? I don't know.
I was just Thinking the same thing myself.
Nigger.
Did he just Richard, watch your language.
Did he just call me a nigger? He has a little tourette's Thing going on in addition to Everything else.
Right, uh, papa, I'm Puerto rican.
If you want to Call me a name, at least try to Keep it in the right ballpark, OK? Keep walking.
I'm tired.
OK.
Nigger.
Whoa, whoa.
What did you Just call me, man? Uh, hey, brother.
It's cool.
He was talking to me.
Oh, it's cool, it's cool? He just calls you a nigger and That's cool? What kind of stupid Ass nigger are you? I'm puerto rican, man.
Oh, goddamn spic.
Look, man.
We don't want any Problems, all right? It's cool.
Nigger.
OK, we got to go.
Sorry, man.
Sorry.
Come on, guys.
What the hell happened to my Bunker gear? It's like somebody Washed it and it shrank.
That's mine.
That's my New gear.
What? You know, Maggie, she didn't Want to take my name after we Get married, so I thought I'd Take hers, you know? I'm gonna Be Sean Garrity-Gavin.
You're shitting me, right? No.
God, not at all.
I mean, it's too many Goddamn letters to put on the Back.
Plus there's that slashy Dashy thing.
What's that called? The hyphen.
Yeah, so I just, I thought I'd use yours.
I mean, I know It's gonna be problematic seeing Us two brothers working at the Same house, but we'll figure It out.
My life's officially in The shitter, by the way.
Listen, don't look now, But you're going for another Lap around the bowl.
Christ.
Um I'd call the cops, but looks Like they're already here.
You all right? Yeah, I'll be all right.
Hey.
I'm here because, uh you know, I didn't want you finding out From somebody else.
Janet's pregnant.
It wasn't planned.
You know, it just happened.
It is what it is.
And we're happy.
Obviously, we don't know what The sex of the child is, but Look at the upside, Tommy.
If it's a boy, then dad can Stop with that whole male heir Bullshit thing that he keeps Talking about.
OK, Tommy? You're asking me if it's OK? Yeah.
Congratulations.
You coming? Yeah.