Sea Patrol (2007) s03e09 Episode Script
Pearls Before Swine
Sir, I haven't been able to contact them since the original distress call from the pearling lugger.
There's still no sign of anyone on deck, X.
Approach with caution.
XO: Roger that, Charlie 8-2.
I can see a masked man on the deck.
XO: Sir, I have our contact of interest visual.
He is on the jet ski.
He's seen us, X.
Insert, insert, insert.
Go, go, go.
Get on him, Halfy.
Jet ski.
XO: Sir, there is a second jet ski.
I repeat, there is a second jet ski.
We are in pursuit, heading north-nor'-east.
Stop your jet ski! Do not fire unless I give the order.
Roger that, ma'am.
BUFFER: Righto, mate, they're heading in the mangroves.
Let's get in there.
Get up next to him.
Inside.
On your inside.
Get me up there, Half.
Get me up next to him.
Come on, Halfy.
Righto, mate, that's good.
Get up there.
Get up there.
Get me up there, Halfy.
Get me right up next to him, mate, and I will smash him! Come on.
Come on.
(YELLS) (RHIB ENGINE SPLUTTERS) What's going on? XO: What are you doing? What?! What is it? HALFY: We're out of fuel.
What? We're out of fuel! Did you put fuel in the tank? Ah Did you put fuel in the tank?! Yeah, I thought I did.
You thought you did? Oh! Sit down! Face that way! I do not wanna look at your face! Charlie 8-2, this is X-ray 8-2.
Assistance required.
Repeat, assistance required.
SWAIN: You right? You the master of this vessel? Australian Navy, mate.
You guys OK? Yeah, yeah.
Come up, mate.
Just the three of you on board? Yeah.
This is it.
You all alright? Oh, well, now, yeah.
Couple of blokes on jet skis came behind us, directly behind us, didn't pick 'em up on the radar.
Your mast probably blocked the signal.
Yeah, that's right.
Suddenly they're on the deck.
They grab one of our blokes, put a gun to his head, demanding pearls.
So you gave 'em all the pearls? What else could we do? No.
Absolutely.
How much did they get away with, Mr Prendergast? Well, I don't know the exact quantity.
We had a decent haul.
I thought you blokes would've got 'em on your inflatable.
Yeah.
Well, we, um We experienced some mechanical problems, unfortunately.
What, with the inflatable? Yeah, that's right.
Yeah.
What went wrong? Sorry? Well, just curious.
I mean, it's an inflatable boat.
It's not the USS 'Missouri'.
You let us out down there today.
Those men had weapons.
What if they'd fired on us? If they'd turned on us, we'd have been screwed.
Through your negligence.
I'm sorry, ma'am.
Now, you think you can do the bare bloody minimum and it's OK.
Yeah, it's certainly not OK.
I would expect you to be working a lot harder to impress.
Do you understand? Yes, ma'am.
What's with the smile? You think we're joking? No, you're just I don't know - you're like a double team, like JT and Madonna.
You need to show some respect! This is the navy, 2 Dads.
This is not a game.
Yes, Buffer.
We've got nothing to go on by way of a description, nothing.
You think it's a one-off? Hard to say.
Gutsy manoeuvre - two guys take on a pearling lugger.
We'll head north.
Keep me posted on anything that moves.
NAV: Yes, sir.
Uh, no.
No, not that I've noticed.
You know, I will be watching him very closely.
Mmm.
These apples are delicious.
Nothing here is delicious.
Someone's sour.
Get told off, did you? You know what, 2 Dads, I reckon it was fair enough.
You know what? I reckon they're an item.
Who? Buffer and the X.
They're always finishing each other's sentences.
They're always together.
I reckon they're on.
You're crazy.
When I suggested it to Buffer You what? I kind of said it, like, just 'cause he was on my back.
You said him and the X? I said it as a joke, right? He hit the roof.
He took it completely out of proportion.
And you know what? I was standing there today watching them.
They're like that.
Hey, Bomber, seriously great doughnuts.
Thanks.
Definitely.
You alright? Yes, ma'am.
I can see you haven't forgotten to refuel yourself.
Radar contact bearing 3-2-5, range 15 nautical miles.
It's not moving.
Great.
Let's check it out.
They're a fair way off the coast for a pleasure craft like that.
Hmm.
What, do you think deep-sea fishermen? MIKE: Well, that's not really rigged out for serious fishing.
Looks more like a couple of guys having a party.
(LAUGHTER) Like the Village People.
I'll go and have a look.
Whoa! Good afternoon, gentlemen.
Hi, hi.
(CHUCKLES) XO: Hello.
Hey.
I'm Lieutenant McGregor from the Australian Navy.
Well, Jay Fennelly, Your Honour.
Huh! And this is this is my (LAUGHS) (LAUGHS) This is my first mate, Sutton Hammil.
Hello.
Hello.
Sir, a pearling lugger has been robbed not far from here A pearling lugger? Yes, that's right.
(LAUGHS) Just just say it again.
I just like the way you said it - 'lugger'.
A few beers in the sun, sir? Lugger.
Lug-ger.
I'm l'm not here to amuse you, Mr Fennelly.
I'm here because there are poachers in the area.
(SNORTS) (LAUGHS) Poachers and a lugger! No, sorry, sorry.
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
(WHISTLES) This is a very serious crime that we are talking about here What's that? OK.
(LAUGHS) Well, let's start with a search on this boat and see what we come up with.
(POSHLY) A pool party.
Uh, the the the pearl the pearl poachers' pool party.
I beg your pardon.
The pearl poachers' pool party, ja? Spider, start with the wheelhouse.
Ma'am.
Not Spider.
Hey, Spider, no, not the wheelhouse! Seaman Webb.
There's a spider in ze wheelhouse.
And once we've finished up there, we will start down below.
Take a seat.
Take a seat! Yeah, right righto.
Right.
Those boys are off their heads, mate.
They're off something.
Well, who the hell are you? Uh, sorry, ma'am.
We're Royal Australian Navy.
Just conducting a search of your vessel.
Jeepers.
Excuse us, ma'am.
BUFFER: What's your name? Tegan.
Tegan Mary Kathryn O'Riordan.
What are you looking for? Um Well, drugs.
Firearms.
Stolen goods.
You wouldn't happen to have anything like that on board, would you, ma'am? Yeah.
All that stuff's in the cupboard there.
In there? Yeah.
Just kidding.
X, I don't understand - why are you still searching if you don't think they're the pearl thieves? Sir, these guys are on some kind of drug.
They are being uncooperative.
So leave them to it and let's get on our way.
Shit.
(LAUGHS) Sir, I believe they may be in possession of illegal substances on board.
X, we're looking for serious armed thieves, not a couple of small-time pot-smokers.
Wrap it up asap and let's move on.
Roger that.
Uh, excuse me, Constable.
It's Lieutenant.
No! What? Well, he is the first mate, and I am the captain.
There is no lieutenant.
Sit down.
Mossman Gorge.
North of Cairns.
Yeah.
Yeah, I've been there.
Yeah? I went to this great trance party there a couple of months ago.
Yeah Seaman Webb, have you found anything? Uh, no, ma'am, not as yet, but I'm still looking, so Oh, do you want me to move? No, no, you're right.
Stay there.
We would like you to move, as a matter of fact.
Up on deck, thank you, asap.
What have you found? Anything? Um, no, X.
Look, I think this boat's pretty clean.
Have you checked in there? No, I haven't, ma'am.
Unscrew it.
Take a look inside.
Yes, ma'am.
Right, Spider, what about this panelling? We won't be able to remove that without causing damage, ma'am.
OK, go through the bed.
I want the drawers under the bed checked, these two headboards.
Let's do this properly.
Yes, ma'am.
You guys alright down here? We are fine.
Can I get you anything, hey? Lights, torches? Couple of beagles, maybe? (SNIGGERS) X.
A reason to smile.
How much stuff are we talking about here, X? Large quantities? Sir, it is more than just for personal use.
It's definitely a matter for the Federal Police.
Over.
Right.
Well, they're not gonna like it, having to travel all the way out here.
Well, that's their job.
Alright.
Stand by.
(LAUGHTER) Roger that.
Aren't you supposed to be sitting down? Federal Police have got a boat just north of Port Hedland.
That's hours away.
They're willing to make the trip as long as it's worth their while.
But they do want you to confirm that for them.
OK.
I'll speak to them.
Meanwhile, find out if there's any more pearling boats within range.
Yes, sir.
MIKE: How'd you go, RO? Hmm, NAVCOM sent through a list of luggers in the area.
The nearest is 'Western Seven'.
They've got a boat near Notts Point.
That's a fair way south.
Yeah, about 80 miles.
OK, let's get ready to move that way.
NAV: Yes, sir.
X, Captain.
This is X-ray 8-2.
Go ahead.
X, we need to resume this search for the pearl thieves, and the Feds are on their way.
So return to 'Hammersley', please.
Leave Buffer and Spider on board the motor launch as a guard crew.
Over.
Uh, roger that, sir.
Hey, Buff.
Did you copy that? Yes.
Thank you, ma'am.
Hey, boss, is there an ETA on the Feds? What, the Feds are coming? Hey, the Feds are coming? Are they really? Hey.
That's gonna be fun.
MIKE: Tomorrow morning, Buffer.
Hey, hey.
Wha-hey! BUFFER: Yeah, roger that.
Wanna watch a movie? No.
Come on, come on.
Come on.
(LAUGHS) This is absolutely delicious.
Correct.
Green fish curry.
Where'd you learn to cook like this? I did a bit of work up in Darwin.
Yeah, right.
He was the best chef in the whole Territory.
Oh, get off.
No, you were, mate.
Don't be modest.
Here, have some more.
That's it.
Bring it on.
BUFFER: Thank you.
Oh, that's plenty, plenty, plenty.
Ah, you're a big boy.
Yeah, that's great.
Save some for yourself.
No, mate, full as a state school.
I can't believe you guys straightened up enough to make this.
You guys were pretty wasted before.
Oh, just a harmless little smoke, mate.
Nothing serious, hey? (LAUGHTER) Nothing serious? Hope the Feds see it that way.
(LAUGHTER) I've never seen two people laugh so hard, I mean, especially at our XO.
(LAUGHS LOUDLY) (ALL LAUGH) Bravo 8-2, this is X-ray 8-2.
Bravo 8-2, this is X-ray 8-2.
He scratches the third circle.
And he wins a car.
(LAUGHTER) They might be having problems with their radio.
I'll give them a sec.
Bravo 8-2, this is X-ray 8-2.
Come in.
Hey, Buff.
Buff, Buff, that's the radio.
I've got an iPod.
Bravo 8-2, this is X-ray 8-2.
Come in.
(LAUGHTER) Buff, it's the radio.
Oh, yeah.
Bravo 8-2, this is X-ray 8-2.
Come in.
(LAUGHS) Hello.
XO: Buffer? (LAUGHS) Hi, Kate.
(SPIDER LAUGHS) Buff.
What's going on there, Buff? SPIDER: Buff, mate, get it together.
(LAUGHS) (ALL LAUGH) XO: Hello? Hello, Kate.
The radio's gone dead.
Was he laughing? I think we should wake the CO.
(BUFFER AND SPIDER LAUGH) (KNOCK AT DOOR) (KNOCK AT DOOR) This better be good.
Sir, I'm sorry to disturb you.
But I think there might be a problem with the steaming party.
XO: Bravo 8-2.
Come in, Bravo 8-2.
Bravo 8-2.
Come in, Bravo 8 2.
Bravo 8-2.
Come in, Bravo 8-2.
(BEEPING) Sir, there's something up ahead.
Sir, it's them.
I am genuinely shocked that two sailors with your experience would allow this to happen.
Uh, they must have laced the, um, food with drugs.
No kidding, Spider! (SLAMS DOOR) I should have seen it coming, X.
Absolutely you should have.
It is incompetent.
And it is embarrassing.
We had to radio the Federal Police to explain to them what happened.
You do know how serious this is, don't you? Yes, ma'am.
Yes, of course, X.
I'll be talking with the CO about this.
In the meantime, you are both confined below decks until further notice.
Excuse me.
(VOMITS) She tore strips off them.
I could hear it all the way up the passageway.
They messed up.
Somebody could have been killed.
Hey, shh! You are the pot calling the kettle black.
We should just be relieved that no-one got hurt.
I reckon it was a lovers tiff.
What? Lovers tiff.
Buffer and the X.
What are you talking about? Come on! They're a couple.
Everyone knows that.
You might have a problem.
With what? I don't want to get anybody in trouble.
No, Nikki, just tell me.
There is a rumour doing the rounds.
Ah.
It's about you and Buffer.
About us? What? Well, that you're linked.
Romantically linked? Is it a joke? (SCOFFS) Who in their right mind would actually believe that? Well, I think some of the crew.
Who told you? I think it might be coming from the junior sailors.
But everybody knows.
Yeah, everybody knows.
Everyone knows.
Yeah, of course they do.
Kate, once, when I was in a similar situation, you were so supportive of me, and I want you to know Nikki, we are not in a similar situation, because I have no feelings other than strictly professional for anybody on this boat.
I'm sorry I snapped at you.
No, no, no.
Thank you for telling me.
(SLAMS DOOR) Sir, another lugger's been attacked.
Armed thieves got away with a large quantity of pearls.
Same guys? Looks like it.
Similar MO - three guys in balaclavas, they were in and out before anybody knew what was going on.
Who owns the lugger? Same company as the first one.
Small outfit, from what I can tell.
Get me the owner of the pearling company on the radio.
Yes, sir.
MIKE: Mr Chappel.
Captain.
Call me Mike.
Welcome aboard.
If I owned one of these myself, I'd put some fear into a few people.
Oh, we'll do what we can to help you in that department.
Come on through.
CHAPPEL: We got a description, but it's the same as before - couple of blokes on jet skis came out of nowhere.
Do you think there's a reason they're targeting your company? We're the smallest, probably the easiest to hit.
Your security doesn't seem particularly effective.
We do what we can, but the reality is our crews are small, we work around the clock.
We can't always be on guard.
Understand.
Not against something like this - it's just the economics of it.
And now you've lost a lot of pearls.
Forget the pearls.
I've had crew members threatened at gunpoint.
I'm contemplating calling in all my boats until this thing blows over.
What if we were to use one of your boats as bait? Sounds bad to me.
We'd position it not far from here with a couple of my crew concealed on board.
Look, these guys aren't gonna attack if you're in the area.
They won't know.
We'll be just over the horizon.
Once we get the word, we move in.
By which time, half my crew's been shot up and killed.
Well, that's not the plan, obviously.
But, of course, we can't act on this without your cooperation.
How many of you'd be on my boat? Two or three.
Myself and one other.
That's all we'd need.
You and Buffer.
Buffer? Yeah, he's perfect for the job.
Now, Mr Chappel, we're gonna have to work out the details, so I'm gonna need your help with a few things.
OK.
Chappel seems like a decent bloke.
Sir, this mission, can we use someone else besides Buffer? Why? Because he is currently in disgrace after what happened on the motor launch.
You've already given him a serve for that.
And I think he's pretty well humiliated by the whole thing.
It's not often that Buffer messes up.
This'll be a good way for him to make things right.
It's just that it's very soon.
Yeah, I know.
But I think it'd be good for morale.
And the fact is, you and Buffer make a great team.
Yes, sir, but What if I told you that there's a rumour that the Buffer and the X are having a romantic liaison? Mate, if they're having a shipboard romance, I'll eat my hat.
Start munching.
(LAUGHS) What? You're actually buying this, about the X? I'm just telling you what I've been told.
SWAIN: By who? I'd rather not say.
Mate, you know what I think of 2 Dads.
He's about as reliable as a boat with holes.
And the source tells me that Buffer, Lieutenant McGregor, they are an item.
(SWAIN LAUGHS) You'd believe anything.
What? Well, obviously, this puts us all in a very difficult position.
Now, whether or not there's any truth to the rumours, I'm duty-bound to investigate the situation.
There is no situation.
There is absolutely no truth to the rumour whatsoever.
Yeah, I second that, boss.
Do you have any idea why anybody would think that? No.
Well, somebody does.
You both know and understand the navy's policy regarding onboard relationships? Absolutely, sir.
Yes, sir.
You have to be 100% above suspicion regarding this.
We are, boss.
It's us.
Look, of course I accept your word that these rumours are nonsense.
Thank you.
I want the whole business to go away, so both of you, do your best to make sure that it does.
Yes, sir.
You can count on that.
Alright.
Buffer, you can go.
(SIGHS) I feel guilty and I haven't done anything.
I don't understand how this has happened.
Yes, well Who knows? You have to know that I would never, ever X, we've discussed it.
Yes, sir.
I presume you won't be sending Buffer and me on the pearling lugger together? Absolutely I am.
If I change the plan now, it's just gonna feed the rumour mill.
You're both professionals.
Yes, sir.
Let's hope we can get past this.
X.
I think he believes us, so at least that is one good thing.
But I am going to find whoever started this rumour and I am gonna feed them to the sharks.
Yeah, I don't blame you.
Good to go, Buff.
Good luck out there, mate.
Try not to have too much fun.
What's that supposed to mean? Sorry, what? I said, what's that supposed to mean? Well, it means, um I don't know - I hope you catch some pearl thieves.
Look, I didn't choose this.
Right? I'm following a direct order from our captain.
Yeah.
It's the same with the XO.
(DOOR OPENS) Ma'am.
Ma'am.
She We We were picked, OK? The captain picked us.
Yeah.
Yep.
Mate, we're, um we're all on the same team, remember? Yeah, good.
Just make sure you wear protection.
Your helmet.
(RO OVER SPEAKER) Leading Seaman Kosov-Meyer, report to the CO at the rush.
(KNOCKS) You wanted to see me, sir.
Come in.
Shut the door.
Are you aware that rumour-mongering is a chargeable offence? I've heard a rumour to that effect, sir.
Listen, I'm deadly serious.
There's some ugly rumours circulating on board right now, and I think you started them.
Sir, it's not a rumour.
Charge really is a woman.
OK, you want to be smart? I'm charging you right here, right now.
Sir, I don't even know what you're talking about.
The malicious talk about Buffer and the X.
I want to know exactly where it started and how, or I promise you, you will not be just charged, you will be off my boat.
Buffer and the X when they're together, they, uh They give off heat.
It's electric.
Right.
You're finished.
Sir, no.
What? Get out.
Sir, something Get out! Something I might have said as a joke has been taken completely out of proportion and context.
I I certainly never meant anything to be taken seriously, sir.
Get in here.
I take this seriously.
You can destroy careers with this sort of thing.
Oh, come on Listen to me, 2 Dads.
The two people involved here are absolutely first-class, dedicated sailors, two of the very, very best.
Sir, I fully Now, you shut up and listen to me.
You don't deserve to be on a boat with either of them.
Now, you're at the end of your line, sailor.
Any more rubbish out of you and you're not just off my boat, you're out of the navy.
Understand me? Yes, sir.
Get lost.
Afternoon.
G'day.
Lieutenant McGregor.
How are you going? G'day, mate.
Buffer.
G'day, mate.
OK, the last thing that we wanna do is get in your way, so you guys just go about your business.
No problem.
Look, once we get sorted, we'll leave you guys on deck.
Rest of the crew will be in the wheelhouse.
Yeah, that's good.
It's a safe place.
So we'll take a look around, go over the plan one more time.
If the thieves strike, they'll most likely do it at night.
Yeah, absolutely, which doesn't leave us a lot of time.
(BUFFER WHISPERS) Oh, my leg's gone to sleep.
Shh! You're making a racket.
I can't help it.
Do you have any idea how the rumour started? How did he get an idea like that? He made it up.
Why? Well, he was embarrassed about his screw-up with the fuel, and then he couldn't cope with you and I tearing shreds off him.
That's just part of being in the navy.
It's standard navy discipline.
And he cannot handle it.
If you wait for something, it'll never happen.
What are you talking about? This.
What we're doing.
Yeah, you watch.
We'll sit here, waiting, all night.
They'll never show.
And if we weren't waiting, then they'd just turn up.
(METAL RATTLES) What is that? It's just the anchor line.
No, no, no, shhh! (SQUEAKING) My feelings for you are purely professional.
Yeah, mine too.
I mean, about you.
(CREAKING) (FOOTSTEPS) (BANGING) (WHISPERS) Hey, what was that? They're coming up the other way.
Come on! (WHISPERS) Ahh! Don't you move or I'll cut you.
Drop the weapon! Drop it on the deck! I'm dropping it.
You drop yours.
OK.
Put the gun down.
I will cut her.
Buffer, put it down.
Do what he says.
Don't you move.
(YELLS) Come back here, bitch! Goddamnit! (GRUNTS) CHAPPEL: Hey, what the hell? MAN: Rightio, everybody freeze.
Put your hands up in the air.
Let's go.
Hands in the air, yeah.
Come on, back up against the rail.
(GROANS) Back against the rail.
Come on.
XO: Buffer.
Where was Chappel and where were the rest of the crew? Where were they? In the wheelhouse and down below.
You know they changed their MO.
They came right over the front and walked right past the wheelhouse to get to us.
He should have heard something.
Are you saying he's in on it, he's rorting his own boat? It took him a hell of a long time to get to us on the deck.
(GROANS) Buff, you're cutting yourself to pieces on it.
Arghhh! Got it.
You right? Yeah.
There's a knife.
Just there.
Here.
(BANGING) You OK? Yeah, I'm good.
Oh, thanks, mate.
Appreciate it.
They got everything, the lot.
You gentlemen alright? They're headed north-east.
Let's take the tinnie.
We'll follow them.
I can't afford to lose the tinnie on top of everything else.
Yeah, well, I'm not asking you.
Huh.
Look what they left behind.
Thanks, mate.
X.
X.
You right? Jet Ski 1, this is Chappel.
Get down there and untie your crew! XO: Charlie 8-2, this is X-ray 8-2.
Sir, we were jumped by the poachers last night.
They were on jet skis, so they must have gone to the nearest land, Starraps Island.
We are headed there now, hoping to pick up on their trail.
MIKE: Yeah, roger that, X.
XO: You might wanna get the Feds in to pick up Chappel, sir.
He's definitely in on it.
Roger that.
We've got your general direction and we're following, but you're not on radar as yet - over.
We are heading in a north-north-easterly direction.
Over.
MIKE: Roger.
No sign of them anywhere, X.
No, they've got to be here somewhere.
They can't have just disappeared.
Hey, I can see something.
Where? Just up ahead.
Yeah, yeah.
I'll get us in there, kill the engine.
Sir, permission to go ashore.
We have a contact.
Over.
X, these guys are armed.
It's your call, but don't take any unnecessary risks.
Copy that.
Same jet skis, X.
(WOMAN LAUGHS) (WHISPERS) Hey, shh.
TEGAN: Hammil, you didn't even drink your coffee.
HAMMIL: You're such a silly tart sometimes.
Oh, man, I've just about had it with you, hey? Don't light a fire.
We don't need it.
I need it.
I'm cold.
You're just coming down.
Surprise, surprise.
It's those idiots.
The poachers.
Yeah, that's them alright.
I'd recognise those boots anywhere.
TEGAN: And Chappel said he'll be here soon.
HAMMIL: Why can't we go back to the motor launch? Because he said not to.
I'm hungry.
All my stuff's on board, all the food.
Hammil, the navy's probably watching the boat right now, waiting for us.
Then how are we supposed to get out of here? Chappel's gonna take us.
The other one must be in that tent.
Let's do it.
(CRACKLING) Shit.
Man! I was busting for that crap.
Hammil! What are you doing? I wanna light this fire.
What, are you nuts? Hey? I'm not nuts, bro.
You're paranoid.
We're in the clear.
Give me that! I told him, the idiot.
You're both paranoid.
Do you blame us, hey, with you around? Mate, I'm the one who thought up this whole thing.
Like hell you did.
I was.
It was my idea.
Your idea? Brain damage, mate.
That's irrelevant.
Put your hands behind your head.
Put your hands behind your head! Don't shoot.
Don't shoot.
Down on your knees.
You, get down on your knees.
Go get him, Buff.
Don't you move! (RATTLING) You can put the gun down.
Yeah, sure I can.
(GROANS) What are you doing? Get down.
(FENNELLY BURPS) Fennelly.
Move over.
What? You heard me.
I said move over to your friend.
Get on your knees.
You gotta be kidding me.
Do I look like I'm kidding? Get on your knees.
OK.
(SCREAMS) Ahh-haa! You broke my ankle! My ankle! You've broken my ankle.
Yeah, I hope so.
(GROANS) That's Kevlar plating, you idiot.
(GROANS) Arggh! Charlie 8-2, we have apprehended three people, but there's no sign of the pearls.
Well, done, X.
Backup RHIB'S three minutes away.
Right, standing by.
Over.
Where are they? Don't look at me.
I wouldn't know.
Fennelly.
Where did you put the pearls? Yeah, like I'm gonna tell you.
But I thought we were mates.
You broke my ankle, you knob! (SCREAMS) Where are they? (BURPS) (GROANS) Rancid bastard.
Hey, what's the bet that he swallowed them? Sir.
All three are in custody down in austere.
Good.
And the Federal Police have arrested Chappel.
Good.
You and Buffer.
Yes, sir.
The fact is, you are a good team.
And I'd like to think that any interruption to that is well and truly behind us.
Absolutely.
Good.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Except for one thing.
Kosov-Meyer.
The rumour-monger.
Ma'am, with all due respect, I've already been reprimanded by the commanding officer.
Shut it, 2 Dads.
You haven't been charged yet.
Now, sit down.
He's right.
The CO has left that up to us.
Charges as we see fit.
(LAUGHS) Permission to speak in my own defence.
Go ahead.
Ma'am, if I get another charge against my name, I'm gonna get kicked out.
Well, you should have thought about that before you started spreading rumours about the XO and myself.
You don't understand - if I get kicked out of the navy, I'm What what I'm really trying to say is, I really wanna be here.
You haven't given much of a demonstration of that since you came on board this ship.
I'm really sorry for what I said.
It was a stupid joke.
I never meant for it to hurt anyone.
Please.
I'll make it up to you.
I'll l'll do anything.
Just name it.
Anything.
I think we should charge him, XO.
Yeah, but it's not gonna look good on his record.
BUFFER: And that doesn't look good already.
So instead, we have a little job for you.
There's a poacher in custody in austere suspected of stealing a bunch of pearls.
And we think that he's actually swallowed the pearls.
So your job is to retrieve them.
R-retrieve them, how? That's up to you.
OK.
Dinner.
That's for you.
That's for you.
That's for you.
There you go.
It's the house special.
Enjoy.
Oh, this looks pretty damn good.
No, no, no, no, don't eat that.
Ohh! What's up? Ohh! It's not for you.
It's great.
Who taught you to make chicken curry like that? My uncle.
He's Indian, from Hyderabad.
Really? No, I'm just making it up.
Laxative? Industrial-strength laxative, from the medical kit.
That stuff is lethal.
(GROANS) I really don't think we'll have any more trouble from him.
I hope you're right.
Mmm.
X.
Boss.
I got them.
The pearls.
How did you No, no, no, don't tell us.
We don't wanna know.
There's still no sign of anyone on deck, X.
Approach with caution.
XO: Roger that, Charlie 8-2.
I can see a masked man on the deck.
XO: Sir, I have our contact of interest visual.
He is on the jet ski.
He's seen us, X.
Insert, insert, insert.
Go, go, go.
Get on him, Halfy.
Jet ski.
XO: Sir, there is a second jet ski.
I repeat, there is a second jet ski.
We are in pursuit, heading north-nor'-east.
Stop your jet ski! Do not fire unless I give the order.
Roger that, ma'am.
BUFFER: Righto, mate, they're heading in the mangroves.
Let's get in there.
Get up next to him.
Inside.
On your inside.
Get me up there, Half.
Get me up next to him.
Come on, Halfy.
Righto, mate, that's good.
Get up there.
Get up there.
Get me up there, Halfy.
Get me right up next to him, mate, and I will smash him! Come on.
Come on.
(YELLS) (RHIB ENGINE SPLUTTERS) What's going on? XO: What are you doing? What?! What is it? HALFY: We're out of fuel.
What? We're out of fuel! Did you put fuel in the tank? Ah Did you put fuel in the tank?! Yeah, I thought I did.
You thought you did? Oh! Sit down! Face that way! I do not wanna look at your face! Charlie 8-2, this is X-ray 8-2.
Assistance required.
Repeat, assistance required.
SWAIN: You right? You the master of this vessel? Australian Navy, mate.
You guys OK? Yeah, yeah.
Come up, mate.
Just the three of you on board? Yeah.
This is it.
You all alright? Oh, well, now, yeah.
Couple of blokes on jet skis came behind us, directly behind us, didn't pick 'em up on the radar.
Your mast probably blocked the signal.
Yeah, that's right.
Suddenly they're on the deck.
They grab one of our blokes, put a gun to his head, demanding pearls.
So you gave 'em all the pearls? What else could we do? No.
Absolutely.
How much did they get away with, Mr Prendergast? Well, I don't know the exact quantity.
We had a decent haul.
I thought you blokes would've got 'em on your inflatable.
Yeah.
Well, we, um We experienced some mechanical problems, unfortunately.
What, with the inflatable? Yeah, that's right.
Yeah.
What went wrong? Sorry? Well, just curious.
I mean, it's an inflatable boat.
It's not the USS 'Missouri'.
You let us out down there today.
Those men had weapons.
What if they'd fired on us? If they'd turned on us, we'd have been screwed.
Through your negligence.
I'm sorry, ma'am.
Now, you think you can do the bare bloody minimum and it's OK.
Yeah, it's certainly not OK.
I would expect you to be working a lot harder to impress.
Do you understand? Yes, ma'am.
What's with the smile? You think we're joking? No, you're just I don't know - you're like a double team, like JT and Madonna.
You need to show some respect! This is the navy, 2 Dads.
This is not a game.
Yes, Buffer.
We've got nothing to go on by way of a description, nothing.
You think it's a one-off? Hard to say.
Gutsy manoeuvre - two guys take on a pearling lugger.
We'll head north.
Keep me posted on anything that moves.
NAV: Yes, sir.
Uh, no.
No, not that I've noticed.
You know, I will be watching him very closely.
Mmm.
These apples are delicious.
Nothing here is delicious.
Someone's sour.
Get told off, did you? You know what, 2 Dads, I reckon it was fair enough.
You know what? I reckon they're an item.
Who? Buffer and the X.
They're always finishing each other's sentences.
They're always together.
I reckon they're on.
You're crazy.
When I suggested it to Buffer You what? I kind of said it, like, just 'cause he was on my back.
You said him and the X? I said it as a joke, right? He hit the roof.
He took it completely out of proportion.
And you know what? I was standing there today watching them.
They're like that.
Hey, Bomber, seriously great doughnuts.
Thanks.
Definitely.
You alright? Yes, ma'am.
I can see you haven't forgotten to refuel yourself.
Radar contact bearing 3-2-5, range 15 nautical miles.
It's not moving.
Great.
Let's check it out.
They're a fair way off the coast for a pleasure craft like that.
Hmm.
What, do you think deep-sea fishermen? MIKE: Well, that's not really rigged out for serious fishing.
Looks more like a couple of guys having a party.
(LAUGHTER) Like the Village People.
I'll go and have a look.
Whoa! Good afternoon, gentlemen.
Hi, hi.
(CHUCKLES) XO: Hello.
Hey.
I'm Lieutenant McGregor from the Australian Navy.
Well, Jay Fennelly, Your Honour.
Huh! And this is this is my (LAUGHS) (LAUGHS) This is my first mate, Sutton Hammil.
Hello.
Hello.
Sir, a pearling lugger has been robbed not far from here A pearling lugger? Yes, that's right.
(LAUGHS) Just just say it again.
I just like the way you said it - 'lugger'.
A few beers in the sun, sir? Lugger.
Lug-ger.
I'm l'm not here to amuse you, Mr Fennelly.
I'm here because there are poachers in the area.
(SNORTS) (LAUGHS) Poachers and a lugger! No, sorry, sorry.
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
(WHISTLES) This is a very serious crime that we are talking about here What's that? OK.
(LAUGHS) Well, let's start with a search on this boat and see what we come up with.
(POSHLY) A pool party.
Uh, the the the pearl the pearl poachers' pool party.
I beg your pardon.
The pearl poachers' pool party, ja? Spider, start with the wheelhouse.
Ma'am.
Not Spider.
Hey, Spider, no, not the wheelhouse! Seaman Webb.
There's a spider in ze wheelhouse.
And once we've finished up there, we will start down below.
Take a seat.
Take a seat! Yeah, right righto.
Right.
Those boys are off their heads, mate.
They're off something.
Well, who the hell are you? Uh, sorry, ma'am.
We're Royal Australian Navy.
Just conducting a search of your vessel.
Jeepers.
Excuse us, ma'am.
BUFFER: What's your name? Tegan.
Tegan Mary Kathryn O'Riordan.
What are you looking for? Um Well, drugs.
Firearms.
Stolen goods.
You wouldn't happen to have anything like that on board, would you, ma'am? Yeah.
All that stuff's in the cupboard there.
In there? Yeah.
Just kidding.
X, I don't understand - why are you still searching if you don't think they're the pearl thieves? Sir, these guys are on some kind of drug.
They are being uncooperative.
So leave them to it and let's get on our way.
Shit.
(LAUGHS) Sir, I believe they may be in possession of illegal substances on board.
X, we're looking for serious armed thieves, not a couple of small-time pot-smokers.
Wrap it up asap and let's move on.
Roger that.
Uh, excuse me, Constable.
It's Lieutenant.
No! What? Well, he is the first mate, and I am the captain.
There is no lieutenant.
Sit down.
Mossman Gorge.
North of Cairns.
Yeah.
Yeah, I've been there.
Yeah? I went to this great trance party there a couple of months ago.
Yeah Seaman Webb, have you found anything? Uh, no, ma'am, not as yet, but I'm still looking, so Oh, do you want me to move? No, no, you're right.
Stay there.
We would like you to move, as a matter of fact.
Up on deck, thank you, asap.
What have you found? Anything? Um, no, X.
Look, I think this boat's pretty clean.
Have you checked in there? No, I haven't, ma'am.
Unscrew it.
Take a look inside.
Yes, ma'am.
Right, Spider, what about this panelling? We won't be able to remove that without causing damage, ma'am.
OK, go through the bed.
I want the drawers under the bed checked, these two headboards.
Let's do this properly.
Yes, ma'am.
You guys alright down here? We are fine.
Can I get you anything, hey? Lights, torches? Couple of beagles, maybe? (SNIGGERS) X.
A reason to smile.
How much stuff are we talking about here, X? Large quantities? Sir, it is more than just for personal use.
It's definitely a matter for the Federal Police.
Over.
Right.
Well, they're not gonna like it, having to travel all the way out here.
Well, that's their job.
Alright.
Stand by.
(LAUGHTER) Roger that.
Aren't you supposed to be sitting down? Federal Police have got a boat just north of Port Hedland.
That's hours away.
They're willing to make the trip as long as it's worth their while.
But they do want you to confirm that for them.
OK.
I'll speak to them.
Meanwhile, find out if there's any more pearling boats within range.
Yes, sir.
MIKE: How'd you go, RO? Hmm, NAVCOM sent through a list of luggers in the area.
The nearest is 'Western Seven'.
They've got a boat near Notts Point.
That's a fair way south.
Yeah, about 80 miles.
OK, let's get ready to move that way.
NAV: Yes, sir.
X, Captain.
This is X-ray 8-2.
Go ahead.
X, we need to resume this search for the pearl thieves, and the Feds are on their way.
So return to 'Hammersley', please.
Leave Buffer and Spider on board the motor launch as a guard crew.
Over.
Uh, roger that, sir.
Hey, Buff.
Did you copy that? Yes.
Thank you, ma'am.
Hey, boss, is there an ETA on the Feds? What, the Feds are coming? Hey, the Feds are coming? Are they really? Hey.
That's gonna be fun.
MIKE: Tomorrow morning, Buffer.
Hey, hey.
Wha-hey! BUFFER: Yeah, roger that.
Wanna watch a movie? No.
Come on, come on.
Come on.
(LAUGHS) This is absolutely delicious.
Correct.
Green fish curry.
Where'd you learn to cook like this? I did a bit of work up in Darwin.
Yeah, right.
He was the best chef in the whole Territory.
Oh, get off.
No, you were, mate.
Don't be modest.
Here, have some more.
That's it.
Bring it on.
BUFFER: Thank you.
Oh, that's plenty, plenty, plenty.
Ah, you're a big boy.
Yeah, that's great.
Save some for yourself.
No, mate, full as a state school.
I can't believe you guys straightened up enough to make this.
You guys were pretty wasted before.
Oh, just a harmless little smoke, mate.
Nothing serious, hey? (LAUGHTER) Nothing serious? Hope the Feds see it that way.
(LAUGHTER) I've never seen two people laugh so hard, I mean, especially at our XO.
(LAUGHS LOUDLY) (ALL LAUGH) Bravo 8-2, this is X-ray 8-2.
Bravo 8-2, this is X-ray 8-2.
He scratches the third circle.
And he wins a car.
(LAUGHTER) They might be having problems with their radio.
I'll give them a sec.
Bravo 8-2, this is X-ray 8-2.
Come in.
Hey, Buff.
Buff, Buff, that's the radio.
I've got an iPod.
Bravo 8-2, this is X-ray 8-2.
Come in.
(LAUGHTER) Buff, it's the radio.
Oh, yeah.
Bravo 8-2, this is X-ray 8-2.
Come in.
(LAUGHS) Hello.
XO: Buffer? (LAUGHS) Hi, Kate.
(SPIDER LAUGHS) Buff.
What's going on there, Buff? SPIDER: Buff, mate, get it together.
(LAUGHS) (ALL LAUGH) XO: Hello? Hello, Kate.
The radio's gone dead.
Was he laughing? I think we should wake the CO.
(BUFFER AND SPIDER LAUGH) (KNOCK AT DOOR) (KNOCK AT DOOR) This better be good.
Sir, I'm sorry to disturb you.
But I think there might be a problem with the steaming party.
XO: Bravo 8-2.
Come in, Bravo 8-2.
Bravo 8-2.
Come in, Bravo 8 2.
Bravo 8-2.
Come in, Bravo 8-2.
(BEEPING) Sir, there's something up ahead.
Sir, it's them.
I am genuinely shocked that two sailors with your experience would allow this to happen.
Uh, they must have laced the, um, food with drugs.
No kidding, Spider! (SLAMS DOOR) I should have seen it coming, X.
Absolutely you should have.
It is incompetent.
And it is embarrassing.
We had to radio the Federal Police to explain to them what happened.
You do know how serious this is, don't you? Yes, ma'am.
Yes, of course, X.
I'll be talking with the CO about this.
In the meantime, you are both confined below decks until further notice.
Excuse me.
(VOMITS) She tore strips off them.
I could hear it all the way up the passageway.
They messed up.
Somebody could have been killed.
Hey, shh! You are the pot calling the kettle black.
We should just be relieved that no-one got hurt.
I reckon it was a lovers tiff.
What? Lovers tiff.
Buffer and the X.
What are you talking about? Come on! They're a couple.
Everyone knows that.
You might have a problem.
With what? I don't want to get anybody in trouble.
No, Nikki, just tell me.
There is a rumour doing the rounds.
Ah.
It's about you and Buffer.
About us? What? Well, that you're linked.
Romantically linked? Is it a joke? (SCOFFS) Who in their right mind would actually believe that? Well, I think some of the crew.
Who told you? I think it might be coming from the junior sailors.
But everybody knows.
Yeah, everybody knows.
Everyone knows.
Yeah, of course they do.
Kate, once, when I was in a similar situation, you were so supportive of me, and I want you to know Nikki, we are not in a similar situation, because I have no feelings other than strictly professional for anybody on this boat.
I'm sorry I snapped at you.
No, no, no.
Thank you for telling me.
(SLAMS DOOR) Sir, another lugger's been attacked.
Armed thieves got away with a large quantity of pearls.
Same guys? Looks like it.
Similar MO - three guys in balaclavas, they were in and out before anybody knew what was going on.
Who owns the lugger? Same company as the first one.
Small outfit, from what I can tell.
Get me the owner of the pearling company on the radio.
Yes, sir.
MIKE: Mr Chappel.
Captain.
Call me Mike.
Welcome aboard.
If I owned one of these myself, I'd put some fear into a few people.
Oh, we'll do what we can to help you in that department.
Come on through.
CHAPPEL: We got a description, but it's the same as before - couple of blokes on jet skis came out of nowhere.
Do you think there's a reason they're targeting your company? We're the smallest, probably the easiest to hit.
Your security doesn't seem particularly effective.
We do what we can, but the reality is our crews are small, we work around the clock.
We can't always be on guard.
Understand.
Not against something like this - it's just the economics of it.
And now you've lost a lot of pearls.
Forget the pearls.
I've had crew members threatened at gunpoint.
I'm contemplating calling in all my boats until this thing blows over.
What if we were to use one of your boats as bait? Sounds bad to me.
We'd position it not far from here with a couple of my crew concealed on board.
Look, these guys aren't gonna attack if you're in the area.
They won't know.
We'll be just over the horizon.
Once we get the word, we move in.
By which time, half my crew's been shot up and killed.
Well, that's not the plan, obviously.
But, of course, we can't act on this without your cooperation.
How many of you'd be on my boat? Two or three.
Myself and one other.
That's all we'd need.
You and Buffer.
Buffer? Yeah, he's perfect for the job.
Now, Mr Chappel, we're gonna have to work out the details, so I'm gonna need your help with a few things.
OK.
Chappel seems like a decent bloke.
Sir, this mission, can we use someone else besides Buffer? Why? Because he is currently in disgrace after what happened on the motor launch.
You've already given him a serve for that.
And I think he's pretty well humiliated by the whole thing.
It's not often that Buffer messes up.
This'll be a good way for him to make things right.
It's just that it's very soon.
Yeah, I know.
But I think it'd be good for morale.
And the fact is, you and Buffer make a great team.
Yes, sir, but What if I told you that there's a rumour that the Buffer and the X are having a romantic liaison? Mate, if they're having a shipboard romance, I'll eat my hat.
Start munching.
(LAUGHS) What? You're actually buying this, about the X? I'm just telling you what I've been told.
SWAIN: By who? I'd rather not say.
Mate, you know what I think of 2 Dads.
He's about as reliable as a boat with holes.
And the source tells me that Buffer, Lieutenant McGregor, they are an item.
(SWAIN LAUGHS) You'd believe anything.
What? Well, obviously, this puts us all in a very difficult position.
Now, whether or not there's any truth to the rumours, I'm duty-bound to investigate the situation.
There is no situation.
There is absolutely no truth to the rumour whatsoever.
Yeah, I second that, boss.
Do you have any idea why anybody would think that? No.
Well, somebody does.
You both know and understand the navy's policy regarding onboard relationships? Absolutely, sir.
Yes, sir.
You have to be 100% above suspicion regarding this.
We are, boss.
It's us.
Look, of course I accept your word that these rumours are nonsense.
Thank you.
I want the whole business to go away, so both of you, do your best to make sure that it does.
Yes, sir.
You can count on that.
Alright.
Buffer, you can go.
(SIGHS) I feel guilty and I haven't done anything.
I don't understand how this has happened.
Yes, well Who knows? You have to know that I would never, ever X, we've discussed it.
Yes, sir.
I presume you won't be sending Buffer and me on the pearling lugger together? Absolutely I am.
If I change the plan now, it's just gonna feed the rumour mill.
You're both professionals.
Yes, sir.
Let's hope we can get past this.
X.
I think he believes us, so at least that is one good thing.
But I am going to find whoever started this rumour and I am gonna feed them to the sharks.
Yeah, I don't blame you.
Good to go, Buff.
Good luck out there, mate.
Try not to have too much fun.
What's that supposed to mean? Sorry, what? I said, what's that supposed to mean? Well, it means, um I don't know - I hope you catch some pearl thieves.
Look, I didn't choose this.
Right? I'm following a direct order from our captain.
Yeah.
It's the same with the XO.
(DOOR OPENS) Ma'am.
Ma'am.
She We We were picked, OK? The captain picked us.
Yeah.
Yep.
Mate, we're, um we're all on the same team, remember? Yeah, good.
Just make sure you wear protection.
Your helmet.
(RO OVER SPEAKER) Leading Seaman Kosov-Meyer, report to the CO at the rush.
(KNOCKS) You wanted to see me, sir.
Come in.
Shut the door.
Are you aware that rumour-mongering is a chargeable offence? I've heard a rumour to that effect, sir.
Listen, I'm deadly serious.
There's some ugly rumours circulating on board right now, and I think you started them.
Sir, it's not a rumour.
Charge really is a woman.
OK, you want to be smart? I'm charging you right here, right now.
Sir, I don't even know what you're talking about.
The malicious talk about Buffer and the X.
I want to know exactly where it started and how, or I promise you, you will not be just charged, you will be off my boat.
Buffer and the X when they're together, they, uh They give off heat.
It's electric.
Right.
You're finished.
Sir, no.
What? Get out.
Sir, something Get out! Something I might have said as a joke has been taken completely out of proportion and context.
I I certainly never meant anything to be taken seriously, sir.
Get in here.
I take this seriously.
You can destroy careers with this sort of thing.
Oh, come on Listen to me, 2 Dads.
The two people involved here are absolutely first-class, dedicated sailors, two of the very, very best.
Sir, I fully Now, you shut up and listen to me.
You don't deserve to be on a boat with either of them.
Now, you're at the end of your line, sailor.
Any more rubbish out of you and you're not just off my boat, you're out of the navy.
Understand me? Yes, sir.
Get lost.
Afternoon.
G'day.
Lieutenant McGregor.
How are you going? G'day, mate.
Buffer.
G'day, mate.
OK, the last thing that we wanna do is get in your way, so you guys just go about your business.
No problem.
Look, once we get sorted, we'll leave you guys on deck.
Rest of the crew will be in the wheelhouse.
Yeah, that's good.
It's a safe place.
So we'll take a look around, go over the plan one more time.
If the thieves strike, they'll most likely do it at night.
Yeah, absolutely, which doesn't leave us a lot of time.
(BUFFER WHISPERS) Oh, my leg's gone to sleep.
Shh! You're making a racket.
I can't help it.
Do you have any idea how the rumour started? How did he get an idea like that? He made it up.
Why? Well, he was embarrassed about his screw-up with the fuel, and then he couldn't cope with you and I tearing shreds off him.
That's just part of being in the navy.
It's standard navy discipline.
And he cannot handle it.
If you wait for something, it'll never happen.
What are you talking about? This.
What we're doing.
Yeah, you watch.
We'll sit here, waiting, all night.
They'll never show.
And if we weren't waiting, then they'd just turn up.
(METAL RATTLES) What is that? It's just the anchor line.
No, no, no, shhh! (SQUEAKING) My feelings for you are purely professional.
Yeah, mine too.
I mean, about you.
(CREAKING) (FOOTSTEPS) (BANGING) (WHISPERS) Hey, what was that? They're coming up the other way.
Come on! (WHISPERS) Ahh! Don't you move or I'll cut you.
Drop the weapon! Drop it on the deck! I'm dropping it.
You drop yours.
OK.
Put the gun down.
I will cut her.
Buffer, put it down.
Do what he says.
Don't you move.
(YELLS) Come back here, bitch! Goddamnit! (GRUNTS) CHAPPEL: Hey, what the hell? MAN: Rightio, everybody freeze.
Put your hands up in the air.
Let's go.
Hands in the air, yeah.
Come on, back up against the rail.
(GROANS) Back against the rail.
Come on.
XO: Buffer.
Where was Chappel and where were the rest of the crew? Where were they? In the wheelhouse and down below.
You know they changed their MO.
They came right over the front and walked right past the wheelhouse to get to us.
He should have heard something.
Are you saying he's in on it, he's rorting his own boat? It took him a hell of a long time to get to us on the deck.
(GROANS) Buff, you're cutting yourself to pieces on it.
Arghhh! Got it.
You right? Yeah.
There's a knife.
Just there.
Here.
(BANGING) You OK? Yeah, I'm good.
Oh, thanks, mate.
Appreciate it.
They got everything, the lot.
You gentlemen alright? They're headed north-east.
Let's take the tinnie.
We'll follow them.
I can't afford to lose the tinnie on top of everything else.
Yeah, well, I'm not asking you.
Huh.
Look what they left behind.
Thanks, mate.
X.
X.
You right? Jet Ski 1, this is Chappel.
Get down there and untie your crew! XO: Charlie 8-2, this is X-ray 8-2.
Sir, we were jumped by the poachers last night.
They were on jet skis, so they must have gone to the nearest land, Starraps Island.
We are headed there now, hoping to pick up on their trail.
MIKE: Yeah, roger that, X.
XO: You might wanna get the Feds in to pick up Chappel, sir.
He's definitely in on it.
Roger that.
We've got your general direction and we're following, but you're not on radar as yet - over.
We are heading in a north-north-easterly direction.
Over.
MIKE: Roger.
No sign of them anywhere, X.
No, they've got to be here somewhere.
They can't have just disappeared.
Hey, I can see something.
Where? Just up ahead.
Yeah, yeah.
I'll get us in there, kill the engine.
Sir, permission to go ashore.
We have a contact.
Over.
X, these guys are armed.
It's your call, but don't take any unnecessary risks.
Copy that.
Same jet skis, X.
(WOMAN LAUGHS) (WHISPERS) Hey, shh.
TEGAN: Hammil, you didn't even drink your coffee.
HAMMIL: You're such a silly tart sometimes.
Oh, man, I've just about had it with you, hey? Don't light a fire.
We don't need it.
I need it.
I'm cold.
You're just coming down.
Surprise, surprise.
It's those idiots.
The poachers.
Yeah, that's them alright.
I'd recognise those boots anywhere.
TEGAN: And Chappel said he'll be here soon.
HAMMIL: Why can't we go back to the motor launch? Because he said not to.
I'm hungry.
All my stuff's on board, all the food.
Hammil, the navy's probably watching the boat right now, waiting for us.
Then how are we supposed to get out of here? Chappel's gonna take us.
The other one must be in that tent.
Let's do it.
(CRACKLING) Shit.
Man! I was busting for that crap.
Hammil! What are you doing? I wanna light this fire.
What, are you nuts? Hey? I'm not nuts, bro.
You're paranoid.
We're in the clear.
Give me that! I told him, the idiot.
You're both paranoid.
Do you blame us, hey, with you around? Mate, I'm the one who thought up this whole thing.
Like hell you did.
I was.
It was my idea.
Your idea? Brain damage, mate.
That's irrelevant.
Put your hands behind your head.
Put your hands behind your head! Don't shoot.
Don't shoot.
Down on your knees.
You, get down on your knees.
Go get him, Buff.
Don't you move! (RATTLING) You can put the gun down.
Yeah, sure I can.
(GROANS) What are you doing? Get down.
(FENNELLY BURPS) Fennelly.
Move over.
What? You heard me.
I said move over to your friend.
Get on your knees.
You gotta be kidding me.
Do I look like I'm kidding? Get on your knees.
OK.
(SCREAMS) Ahh-haa! You broke my ankle! My ankle! You've broken my ankle.
Yeah, I hope so.
(GROANS) That's Kevlar plating, you idiot.
(GROANS) Arggh! Charlie 8-2, we have apprehended three people, but there's no sign of the pearls.
Well, done, X.
Backup RHIB'S three minutes away.
Right, standing by.
Over.
Where are they? Don't look at me.
I wouldn't know.
Fennelly.
Where did you put the pearls? Yeah, like I'm gonna tell you.
But I thought we were mates.
You broke my ankle, you knob! (SCREAMS) Where are they? (BURPS) (GROANS) Rancid bastard.
Hey, what's the bet that he swallowed them? Sir.
All three are in custody down in austere.
Good.
And the Federal Police have arrested Chappel.
Good.
You and Buffer.
Yes, sir.
The fact is, you are a good team.
And I'd like to think that any interruption to that is well and truly behind us.
Absolutely.
Good.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Except for one thing.
Kosov-Meyer.
The rumour-monger.
Ma'am, with all due respect, I've already been reprimanded by the commanding officer.
Shut it, 2 Dads.
You haven't been charged yet.
Now, sit down.
He's right.
The CO has left that up to us.
Charges as we see fit.
(LAUGHS) Permission to speak in my own defence.
Go ahead.
Ma'am, if I get another charge against my name, I'm gonna get kicked out.
Well, you should have thought about that before you started spreading rumours about the XO and myself.
You don't understand - if I get kicked out of the navy, I'm What what I'm really trying to say is, I really wanna be here.
You haven't given much of a demonstration of that since you came on board this ship.
I'm really sorry for what I said.
It was a stupid joke.
I never meant for it to hurt anyone.
Please.
I'll make it up to you.
I'll l'll do anything.
Just name it.
Anything.
I think we should charge him, XO.
Yeah, but it's not gonna look good on his record.
BUFFER: And that doesn't look good already.
So instead, we have a little job for you.
There's a poacher in custody in austere suspected of stealing a bunch of pearls.
And we think that he's actually swallowed the pearls.
So your job is to retrieve them.
R-retrieve them, how? That's up to you.
OK.
Dinner.
That's for you.
That's for you.
That's for you.
There you go.
It's the house special.
Enjoy.
Oh, this looks pretty damn good.
No, no, no, no, don't eat that.
Ohh! What's up? Ohh! It's not for you.
It's great.
Who taught you to make chicken curry like that? My uncle.
He's Indian, from Hyderabad.
Really? No, I'm just making it up.
Laxative? Industrial-strength laxative, from the medical kit.
That stuff is lethal.
(GROANS) I really don't think we'll have any more trouble from him.
I hope you're right.
Mmm.
X.
Boss.
I got them.
The pearls.
How did you No, no, no, don't tell us.
We don't wanna know.