Sliders s03e09 Episode Script

(Wade) We have three days till the next slide.
I wish it was longer so I could explore this world where America is a monarchy.
Everything is so pretty, and the people are so gracious.
It's like being in a romantic movie.
(woman on intercom) Dr.
Daley, Dr.
William Daley, please call radiology.
Dr.
Daley, please call radiology.
I haven't seen you writing in your diary in a long time.
That's because I usually do it when you guys are asleep.
That way you don't get all paranoid about what I write.
I'm not paranoid.
I don't care what you write in there about me.
[Sighing.]
(man) Let's go.
Sixpence for a piece of candy.
I don't have a pence, let alone six.
Hey, how's the Professor? He'll live.
He's still pretty upset about sliding into a bee colony.
Or, in his case, on a bee colony.
[Chuckling.]
I wish we had a video camera.
Both of his hands on his behind, running around chanting, "Ow! Ow! Ow!" Think he'll get the Purple Heart for this? I think he'll get a purple something.
Oh, God! Remmy! Danielle? My apologies, Your Grace.
How did you get Thank God you're here, Your Grace.
[Danielle screaming.]
What's wrong with her? It's the baby.
She went into crisis earlier than expected.
I told you, Lady Mary, he would be here for me.
If you'll follow me, Your Grace.
You'll be prepped in the adjacent room.
Your Grace? Prepped for what? Blood transfusion.
How do you know you two are even the same blood type? We were on our world.
Look, it's okay.
Danielle and I have been through this before.
[Woman chattering over PA system.]
Excuse me, how long is this transfusion gonna take? What transfusion? They're transferring the baby into him.
[Phone ringing.]
(Quinn) What if you found a portal to a parallel universe? What if you could slide into a thousand different worlds, where it's the same year, and you're the same person but everything else is different? And what if you can't find your way home? (voice) Sliders.
(male announcer) We interrupt with this late-breaking news.
(anchor woman) The Duchess of Hemmingshire, cousin of our late Queen Sally, has suffered an early crisis.
Her husband, the Duke, arrived just in time to take on gestation and complete the pregnancy.
A few moments ago, Deputy Master of the Royal Household, George Stellos, addressed rumors concerning the Duke's recent disappearance from the public eye.
Please, folks, you'll get your chance.
Okay, one question at a time.
Just let me make my statement first.
Royal Security knew where the Duke was at all times, but at his request, we kept his whereabouts private.
There was never any doubt that he would be available when the transfer was necessary.
Professor, you are not going to believe I already know.
We are apparently alive and at the scene.
We have got to get him out of there before it's too late.
Now, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Announcing that an impostor has so far penetrated the Royal Circle is hardly going to get Rembrandt out of that situation, or ourselves.
This needs a little bit of subtlety.
[Electronic beeping.]
It's an awful lot of fuss over a little transfuse [garbled.]
Transfuse Transfer, Your Grace.
That's just the sedative doing its job.
Now, we'll be starting in a moment.
Hey, Q-Ball! How you doing? Shh! I'm so glad I met you, man.
This is the best slide ever.
We've got to get you out of here.
There's been a mix-up between you and your double.
Really? You sure? Didn't you think something was up when they started calling you "Your Grace"? Your Grace.
Crying Man.
Whatever.
I mean, who cares what they call me, as long as I've got my Danielle.
Rembrandt? Rembrandt? Remmy! Stay with me, man.
Your Grace? Wake up! Thank you, orderly, but I'll see to the Duke myself.
You can fetch a backup dose of hormone meds from the supply cabinet.
Who are you? [Gasps.]
You don't seem to understand.
No, you don't seem to understand.
Let him go, George.
Please, Aunt Mary, stay out of this.
He's a friend of the Duke's.
I saw them speaking.
We are the Duke's new personal assistants.
Since when? The Duke barely tolerates the mandatory attendants I impose on him.
Since the Duke phoned me at Buckingham Palace and asked me to put together a team of professionals to look after him during his pregnancy.
You have experience with Buckingham's royal staff? Sir, I have trained so many people at Buckingham Palace, I'm known there as the Professor.
This is Miss Wells the Duke's personal nutritionist.
And over there, with his face squashed against that door like a bug on a windscreen, is the Duke's fitness trainer.
Well, if he's the Duke's fitness trainer, then what was he doing in Pre-Op? You blistering idiot! The Duke is about to have a baby! Are you suggesting that fitness does not come into question? Now, I suggest you release him at once, before the Duke finds out.
[Woman chattering over PA system.]
[Sighs.]
Are we all clear? For the time being.
Good.
Excuse me.
That's a beautiful pin.
L-ls it antique? Yes.
It was a gift from a former admirer.
Well, I just wanted to say, thanks for standing up for us.
The transfer is complete.
Father and son-to-be are resting comfortably.
(Wade) When they moved Remmy back to the Royal Mansion, there were telegrams from all over the world wishing him well with his pregnancy.
Wow! I can't believe I just wrote those words.
Even though Remmy's double could never be king because he's a commoner, it turns out his baby is fourth in line for the throne.
I can't get my head around this.
I think it's great.
It's about time men got to share in the joy and the burden of childbearing.
Oh, I expect men get very excited about sharing the joy of nausea, heartburn, and stretch marks.
He's coming out of it.
Hey, Remmy? Remmy, buddy? Welcome back, man.
A lot has gone on since you faded out on me back at the hospital.
Yeah.
[Chuckling.]
Yeah.
This is a remarkable world, Mr.
Brown.
A couple of decades ago, a a viral epidemic destroyed the capacity of the female population to carry a child beyond the, uh, second trimester.
However, scientists were able to save humankind by the invention of shared pregnancy.
Yeah, they they they created an artificial womb so the fathers can carry the baby to term.
[Chuckles.]
See, the thing is, they mistook you for your double and, uh, before we could stop them What the And And Now, take it easy.
You just went through major surgery.
Yes, but the good thing is, with their advanced technology you'll be up and about in no time.
Please tell me this isn't what I think it is.
I'm afraid it is, Mr.
Brown.
But here's the good news.
You're going to bear royalty.
I'm pregnant? I'm not even married! The father is your missing double.
Remmy, if you hadn't shown up when you did, that little guy would have died.
Now, Rembrandt, back at the hospital you mentioned something about you and Danielle having been through something like this before on our world.
Look, guys.
I don't want to talk about it.
Fair enough.
But we do have to discuss timing.
Apparently, once the male takes over, the gestation proceeds rapidly.
You'll be ready to deliver within a week, but But, what? We slide before that.
So, somehow we've got to find your double and get this baby into him.
Otherwise you're stuck here until you give birth.
[Sighs.]
Are visiting hours over yet? You people are depressing me.
[Knocking on door.]
May I come in? Of course, Your Grace.
I can't believe it's you.
Look, are you okay? Yes, I am, now that we're together.
[Chuckling.]
May we have some privacy? Yes, of course.
Try not to over-excite him.
(Mary) How is it the Duke lives? (assassin) I don't know.
I saw him disappear into the ocean.
He never surfaced.
Obviously, he did.
I trusted you, and you failed me.
My nephew and I have too much invested in this to allow these kinds of mistakes.
It won't happen again.
That's right.
It won't.
[Gasps.]
[Thudding.]
I thought morning sickness was only supposed to happen in the morning.
[Chuckles.]
(Danielle) You're lucky.
Mine lasted two months.
I think it's stopping.
You are so beautiful.
When Lady Mary told me you'd left, I thought I'd die.
And then crisis came early.
Rem, I know we've had our share of problems, but please, [chuckles.]
Can we try again? Any news of the Duke's whereabouts? Nothing.
All I could find out is that he had trouble living in the royal spotlight, and he and the Duchess had some pretty big fights about it.
Well, I found a maid who said that Lady Mary started a rumor that the Duke was cheating on his wife.
Hmm.
How can we be sure that it was just a rumor? We can't, except the maid said it just couldn't be true.
And according to her, Remmy's double is crazy about Danielle.
I guess some things are constant on every world.
[Chuckles.]
Whoa, what's going on? Hello? Anybody remember knock-knock? Forgive me, Your Grace, but I have grave news.
Arson is suspected in the fire this morning at the Royal Palace at Monticello.
Authorities report that they received a phone call from the American Revolutionary Party, claiming responsibility.
From Monticello, Virginia.
The news flash, apparently official.
; King Thomas and his two sons, Benjamin and Tyler, died in a house fire at 2.
;00 a.
m.
, Eastern Standard Time.
Pacific Standard Time, some 38 minutes ago.
This means the next in line for the throne is the unborn male child of Rembrandt Brown, Duke of Hemmingshire.
The king.
(sentry) I have spoken with the Captain of the Guards.
He returns tonight from Monticello.
I hope you told him how pleased I was with his work.
Indeed.
He extends his deep gratitude for your kind words and prays that his efforts will be rewarded in the future.
Assure him that my nephew and I will remember our friends.
All of them.
Milady.
Lady Mary.
May I have a word? Of course.
[Sighs.]
Well, obviously, I am completely familiar with protocol at the court of St.
James, but I am a newcomer here at this court.
How may I assist you? I've seen nothing regarding the royal funeral arrangements at Monticello.
Now, obviously, the Duke will not be able to travel in his present condition.
The Duke's sole responsibility now is to protect the future king.
I agree with you.
Will you be representing His Grace? Certainly not.
My place is with the Duchess, as it has been since her birth.
That long? Lmpossible.
Longer.
I was just a girl when I first came to court.
Barely 17.
I was appointed to my present post by King Thomas himself.
I realize His Majesty's tragic death must be very painful for you.
[Chuckling.]
I can hear his heartbeat.
Pretty cool, huh? Hey, Q-Ball.
Hey.
Any word on my double? None of the staff I spoke to knows a thing.
And if we don't find the Duke soon, you are going to miss this slide.
He's probably off hiding somewhere, sweating bullets.
Royalty has got to be a lot to take.
Remember all those royal scandals on our world? Your Grace.
I just had an interesting conversation with your driver.
You know, the one that you swore to secrecy about that clandestine trip to a place called Camp Muir? He told me to give you this.
He said you dropped it in the Mercedes.
You know, I've been thinking.
Maybe we shouldn't rush out and get this guy.
Maybe I should tell Danielle the truth.
Excuse me, does the word "beheading" mean anything to you? Look, this little fellow is gonna be the next king.
And maybe my double isn't into handling responsibility.
I mean, what kind of father would he make? Oh, I can't believe I got to go again! [Sighing.]
Oh! Got to go, got to go.
He's not thinking clearly.
Well, I guess pregnancy does that to a man.
[Laughing.]
All right, we have got to locate this duke.
Why don't you stay with Remmy and make sure he doesn't lose his head? George, with the royal family gone, who will rule until my son is of age? As His Majesty's deputy, I hold the official power during this transitional period.
Once the child is born, I will step aside to Duke Rembrandt who will rule as regent until your son is old enough to assume his royal responsibilities.
My husband, a regent.
I pray his new responsibilities do not cause him to flee again.
Don't worry, Your Grace.
I'm sure once the Duke sees his son, he will never want to leave his side.
(Rembrandt) Hush, hush Go on and dream Daddy is always near By the window By the window By the window Hush, hush Safely inside Calm as the sea you Drift in, shifting Hush, hush Go on and dream Daddy is always near (Quinn) Looks pretty deserted.
Shouldn't there be guards or something? You think this is it? This has to be Camp Muir.
The whole area is marked "Property of the Crown.
" On our world it would be loaded with tourists.
Here we go.
[Knocking on door.]
(Quinn) Your Grace? Anybody home? [Knocking on door.]
Maybe he went for a walk in the woods.
Why don't you check around back? Hello! Hello! [Knocking on door.]
Your Grace! (Wade) Anybody here? Anybody home? [Grunting.]
Your Grace, we are friends of Danielle.
Really? [Grunting.]
How is it I've never seen you before? Well, it's a It's lt's kind of a long story, but if you just put the sword down Now you better believe us.
Maybe.
Look, two days ago I was knocked out from behind.
When I came to, he was pushing me over the side of a boat, Luckily, I'm a good swimmer.
Luck seems to run in your family.
Wait a minute.
Did you say that Danielle sent you? Why? Are she and the baby okay? We can discuss it on the way back.
The sooner we get you back, the safer your baby and your wife will be.
I wonder if you'd be so kind as to change the pillows on my bed? I am, uh, sensitive to goose down, and I far prefer eider down.
(Rembrandt) Thank you so much.
That looks delicious.
You're welcome, Your Highness.
I think the baby is as hungry as I am.
You do realize that you didn't tell her thank you.
Poor woman is busting her butt for you and you can't even tell her how much you appreciate it.
And if you light that smokestack up around my baby, I'm gonna roll over there and shove it down your throat.
Mr.
Brown, let me tell you about royal servants.
Most are born into service or bred into service.
Uh, they love to serve.
They live to serve.
And they expect their superiors to behave in a superior manner, or they get very upset.
You know, you are full of British bull! Excuse me, may I have a moment with my husband, Professor? Yes, of course.
Let's go for a little walk, shall we? Sure.
Hey, hey, hey! What's up? Will you excuse us? Yes, ma'am.
I heard you singing to the baby in the garden earlier.
Yeah, yeah, I was working on a little song for him.
Is everything okay, sweetheart? To begin with, I'm not your sweetheart.
My husband never sang a day in his life.
He's tone deaf.
Apparently you, whoever you are, are not.
I demand to know exactly who you are.
Okay, there's no need to get upset.
Really! My baby is Please.
Just let me explain.
I promise you, your baby is as safe with me as he would be with your husband.
I swear it.
Just let me explain before you go calling the guards.
Please.
I cannot believe it.
My son is king.
Do they know who is behind the assassinations? The rebels are taking credit.
Let me ask you a question.
What kind of a guy leaves his wife while she's pregnant? I did not leave her.
We fought.
I needed some time to cool off, okay? What's the matter, you never fought with anyone you love? Yeah, but I stuck around and worked it out.
Oh, yeah? So where's your wedding ring? Wait a minute.
If they had to take the baby from Danielle early, who did they transfer him into? Do you really expect me to believe that insane story? It's pure science fiction.
I know it sounds like that, but please hear me out.
You see, on my world, you and I were living together.
We'd had a big fight.
You took the car, and you wanted to show me how it felt when I would walk out on you.
I should have never let you go.
You couldn't even see through your tears.
[Sighs.]
After the accident, I had this boneheaded idea that we could still make it right.
After you became well, you didn't even want to look at me.
I thought, with time, I would get over you.
But I haven't.
That's odd.
How is it this never happened to me, yet I feel as if it had? Look, Danielle, I just want you to know if your husband doesn't come back, you have me if you want me.
Where is my husband? My friends are out looking for him.
This has been quite a day for me.
We'll talk more in the morning.
Good night, Mr.
Brown.
(Remmy #2) Watch your step.
(Wade) What are we doing? Well, we can't just walk up to the front door, unless you want your friend beheaded.
There's a secret passageway I used to use when I was courting Danielle.
A secret passageway? Yes.
Cool.
I love royalty.
[Muffled screaming.]
[Muffled screaming.]
What the devil Are you all right? Yeah.
Did you see him? No.
A pillow over my face.
Hold that.
[Tapping.]
Stop! [Grunting.]
[Groaning.]
(Remmy #2) What the devil is going on? Got kicked in the stomach.
You okay? Yeah, but it's a good thing I'm not six inches taller.
[Coughing.]
Are you all right? Yeah, I'm okay, baby.
What happened? There was an attempt made on the Duke's life and, by extension, that of the unborn king.
I am the Duke.
Rembrandt? Is that really you? Yes.
Well, now.
(Remmy #2) Seems I owe you a great debt of gratitude.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
It's a lot to comprehend, but you've got to help us.
We must transfer the baby from this Rembrandt to the Duke, and it must be done in secret.
We're still in danger.
The guards.
We'll stall them.
Will you help us? [Door closing.]
You know I'd do anything for you, my dear.
We heard noise.
What's going on? Uh, nothing.
It's nothing.
L l I wouldn't go in there if I were you.
The The The Duke and the Duchess are having a a domestic dispute.
L-lt's about his infidelity.
I'm I'm I'm sure you've heard the rumors.
She's, uh, throwing things again? Oh, yeah.
Big things.
Yeah.
[Sighs.]
All right.
We'll be down at the base of the stairs if anyone needs anything.
Thank you.
Infidelity.
Good one.
[Door creaking.]
Hello.
Be nice if they left a note or something.
What is this? It's a pin.
Wait a minute.
I recognize this.
It's Lady Mary's.
I'm still not sure about this, Professor.
Look, security at the palace has obviously been compromised.
If this place is as remote as Lady Mary says it is, we're safe here until we can transfer the baby into that of its rightful father.
Oh, I can't believe I got to go again.
The cabin is right here.
Don't worry, milady.
What needs to be done will be done.
(Wade) Hoping for a safe? Hoping for something.
I've run out of places where you can hide things in this room.
Since I'm still not sure exactly what you're looking for, it doesn't sound like much of a roadblock.
The pin is not enough to prove that Lady Mary is trying to kill the Duke.
She'll just say she lost it, or it was stolen, or something.
If she is in with the rebels, there's got to be something in here that will prove it.
Well, I hope so.
Otherwise you're creating a big mess for the maid for nothing.
Come on, Your Majesty.
Give us a clue.
You must have seen everything that's gone on in this room.
Hopefully not.
If he's any kind of a gentleman, he turned his back once in a while.
Yes! What are you doing? If I'm wrong, vandalism.
Letter opener.
Desk.
Here we go.
"My dearest Mary, this will be my last letter, "as the Queen is growing suspicious.
"I understand the reasons behind your request, but cannot agree to recognize our son George as legitimate.
" George is Lady Mary's son? And the king is his father.
That means he's royalty, and if he's royalty, than he's next in line for the throne if there are no other male heirs.
We've got to get that letter to the press.
Grab them.
George.
Speak of the devil.
I should have known you were rebels.
What have you done to the Duke and Duchess, and my aunt? Is that how you're going to cover this up? Frame us for their disappearance? Sure, go ahead, blame the American Revolutionists.
(George) What frame? What are you talking about? You can drop the act.
We know you're the king's son.
What? That's preposterous! Take them away.
He doesn't know.
Know what? Before you grease up the guillotine, you might want to read this.
I'm sorry.
[Sighing.]
What are you doing in here? Danielle and I had an argument.
I needed to get out of there.
You can do that permanently.
It wouldn't hurt my feelings.
What is with your attitude? What have I ever done to you? You hurt Danielle.
I'd advise you to cut it out.
If you can't treat her with the love and respect she deserves, then you disappear, and leave the job to me.
Listen, you have temporary custody of my child, but don't you forget that Danielle is my wife.
Treat her that way, then.
You're always going to have problems.
I mean, that's life.
But you have to face them and not just walk away.
That's what got us into all this mess.
[Grunting.]
Listen.
Hey, listen! If you screw up with her, you'll regret it every day of your life.
I do.
[Door opens.]
Not now, Lady Mary, please.
That's the beauty of tea.
When you don't want it is exactly when you need it.
It's chamomile.
Very soothing.
It helped calm Danielle and the professor.
It's nice.
Thank you.
And for the little father.
Thank you.
[Sighing.]
(Quinn) How are you holding up? For someone who just found out his aunt is his mother and a murderer, fine, I suppose.
Any idea where she took them? No, but I know somebody who might.
Where did you take them? There's red mud all over this.
They're at Camp Muir, aren't they? Give me your sword.
Let's go.
Get the paramedics to Camp Muir.
[Car engine starting.]
Everyone is asleep.
Use all of it.
I don't want to leave anything for the coroner to examine.
[Fire crackling.]
[Grunting.]
Hey, Duke, you smoking? [Grunting.]
Hey, Duke.
[Sniffing.]
[Yelling.]
Fire! [Remmy coughing.]
(Remmy #2) What? (Remmy #2) Come on! The terrace! Remmy! Oh, my God! (Danielle) The baby! (Remmy #2) I'm going to put it out! [Coughing.]
Why are we so groggy? Oh.
Judging by the pounding in my head, I would say the tea was drugged.
But Lady Mary made the tea.
Precisely, Your Grace.
And she is nowhere to be seen.
[Groaning.]
Professor, what's happening? You've inhaled too much smoke.
The child is in distress.
Then we've got to get it out.
Now! Mr.
Brown, even if the fetus was viable, there is no one here to take it out.
You can.
Are you insane? I'm a theoretical mathematician, not a butcher! [Groaning.]
Please, give it a chance.
It should be an inferno by now.
What's wrong? Even if they escaped the fire, they couldn't have gone far.
I don't care if it looks like an accident anymore.
Just find them and kill them.
My dear friend, this is going to hurt like hell.
[Rembrandt panting.]
Save my son.
Don't worry.
I haven't lost a patient yet.
Oh, Lord.
(George) That's the cabin.
Leave.
Now! Since when do you give me orders? Step aside, Lance.
[Grunting.]
Get down.
Do it! (Mary) George! What are you doing? Stopping the bloodshed.
All right, you know.
Now don't muck it up.
With the child out of the way, we can rule with you as king as you were always meant to be.
You can't be serious.
I've waited a long time to get what was mine.
Promises were made, my son, and now it's time to collect.
You're a monster.
Get in the car.
Don't be a fool, George.
I've done it all for you.
(George) You'd better get to the cabin.
Professor? The infant was in distress.
We had no choice.
[Baby gurgling.]
[Sighs.]
(Wade) He's beautiful.
[Coos.]
Professor? I'll never forget this.
Neither will I.
Now, get well.
(Wade) Well, Remmy survived and the nation welcomed their new king, Rembrandt I.
Stellos decided to keep quiet about who his real father was, and accepted an appointment by the Duke as Lord High Protector until the King is of age.
It's been an emotional roller-coaster ride for Remmy, but he seems to have come to a place of acceptance.
I sure am glad he's coming with us.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You saved my marriage and the life of my child.
How, on this or any other world, can I thank you? Just protect them and love them enough for the both of us.
[Crying.]
Thank you.
[Sighs.]
Well, it looks like we weren't meant to be on this world, either.
But I will always love you.
[Sighs.]
I'll never forget you.
[Baby crying.]
[Door closing.]
Well, guys, take one last look.
I hate goodbyes.
How is my patient doing? Not too good.
[Electronic beeping.]
[Whooshing.]
This time you can fall on me if you like.
Come on.
[Grunting.]
Are you all right? Are you all right? Yeah.
Good.
Well, congratulations, Mr.
Brown.
You gave birth to a son and a king.
And that's a remarkable achievement for any man, anywhere.
[Laughing.]
Hey, it's crying! Crying Man! Well, I guess some of me did rub off on the little rascal, huh? (girl) Mommy, please, don't make me! Mommy, I'm scared! Oh, no! Are you crazy? (girl) Mommy, please! Mommy, I don't want to! Don't do it, ma'am! Don't do it! Let's talk about this, please! I'll go find help.
Don't do it! Please! Let go, now.
Get down.
Let go! Please! Please! Don't! Don't! Don't do it, please! Push! Go! (girl) Look, Mommy, no feet! Oh! It's the only way they learn.