Stella (2012) s03e09 Episode Script
Series 3, Episode 9
All the time I've known you, you never once argue with your parents.
That's 'cause my mum never even notices me.
- I hate you! - No, you don't, sweetheart.
You just hate the fact he's married.
She was Mum's will.
She's left everything to me.
- Everything? - You get nothing.
It's a girl.
Well, that's a sound I've not woken up to for 16 years.
Mmm.
Brings it all back, doesn't it? Katie was a lovely baby.
So was Ben.
- Then they grew up.
- What went wrong, eh? Oh, I've been too harsh on her, haven't I? It's horrible when one of your parents is disappointed in you.
Which is why our little family trip is going to sort us all out.
- About this - Oh, no, you don't.
You're not getting out of it now, good boy.
I have booked it.
You, me and the kids climbing up ropes and sliding down walls, - it'll be a good laugh.
- If you say so.
How come you're taller than me sitting up and shorter than me when you're standing? I've got a long back and short legs.
Now, I know most people say keepsakes are a waste of time but we say Do you want me to try walking her around the block a bit? She's not a dog.
what better way to give your guests the memory of this happy day.
We've got the traditional sugared almonds, of course.
Want me to go for you? Hey, enough of the grovelling, you're forgiven, okay? Oh, what's the point? - Good morning.
- Hiya, butt.
What are you two doing here? Well, this wedding is meant to be happening the week after next and we haven't even hired a reception venue.
We booked the church, mind.
You did know me and Bobs were the official wedding planners for the big day, didn't you, Stell? No, I didn't.
But then again, nobody tells me nothing.
Ben, get a move on, please.
You're lucky they're even having you back at that school.
I don't want you being late on your first day.
Oh, okay.
Oh, he wants to say hello to his new cousin, don't you? Hello! See, she's sleeping now.
All right? Coo-ee! - For God's sake.
Aw Right.
I finished this last night, I did.
I wanted to drop it off.
- For baby - Aw! Brenda.
What's that meant to be? Oh, but she's not called Brenda, Aunty Brenda! We haven't decided on a name yet.
Well, I've been telling everyone you've called her Brenda.
You can't have a newborn waltzing in wandering round with no name to her, what will people think? - We're definitely not calling her that.
- Ah! What? - That's not actually what I said, Andy.
- Yes, it is.
- No, it's not.
- It is! Katie's been with us the whole time and witnessed the entire conversation.
Katie, did I or did I not say that Andy would go out again tomorrow night if he so chooses? For God's sake! I don't know, Mum, I wasn't actually listening.
- Aunty Brenda.
- Yanto Bead.
Always a pleasure, George.
I'll see you and the boys, 10:00 sharp.
Thanks, Dai, I'll bring you them kidneys.
Aunty Brenda.
George the Butcher.
Whyfore you grinning like a Cheshire what-yer-call, Dai Davies? What? Just keeping the business ticking over, Aunty Brenda.
I do, after all, own a 50% stake in this company.
Yeah, well, you can take your stake and you can fry it in a pan.
'Cause I don't need you sticking your nose in where it's not wanted.
Cars is your thing, good boy, not coaches.
And just 'cause you ain't got none to sell - Through no fault of my own.
- don't give you license to go poking round my patch.
Now, get your grubby little squirrel paws off of my bookings book.
As you wish.
Mrs Aunty Brenda, I hope to God you can help me.
Shoot! Amy is late back from her lunch again.
- You'll have to look after Mrs Lloyd.
- Okay.
Emma, before you do, just check this with me a sec.
This, um Does that look right to you? It looks perfect.
Are you off to the cash and carry just now? Uh, yeah.
Pick me up some small black towels, will you? Sure.
- There you go, Parvadi, all booked in.
- That's great! - For God's sake! - Thanks, Mrs Aunty Brenda.
Just to be clear, when I said a few hens, I meant a few women.
Not actual hens.
That'd be weird.
Right.
You better get on the phone to the butcher and tell him to look for alternative transport, 'cause Wednesday morning, my buses are taking them girls.
I'll do no such thing.
I took George's booking first.
Then you can untake it.
George the Butcher is a highly respected businessman with a very important cattle conference to attend, and it's his sort of custom Brenda's Buses should be attracting, not a random bunch of sordid hens.
You are being grossly unfair, grossly unfair.
Rich coming from you.
All I'm asking for is one night, one night when we could spend some quality time together.
Don't do this to me, Jan.
Do not make me choose between you and them.
For God's sake.
I was bell-ringing long before we got together.
You always knew that was part of the deal.
Great, so being stuck up some freezing belfry is more appealing to you than being stuck up Than being with me.
There's 10 years between us, for Pete's sake, we're bound to have different interests.
- Huh! - And they do say campanology is a young man's game.
I thought it turned you on, having sex with an older woman.
You never fail to tell me that's your schoolboy fantasy.
Right, I'm off.
Andy, Andy! Taking Katie to Rope World, so Shut up, Michael.
Andy, Andy! You've got that on the completely wrong way round.
I don't know what I'm doing.
- Hiya.
- Hiya.
Sorry we're late.
Someone took a bit of persuading.
You look weirdly rather good in that.
Perv.
Go on, then, get strapped in.
Dad, do we have to? Jackson M and Jackson K.
On the double, left-right, or else drop and give me 20.
Looks like we do.
All right, you lot, are you ready to fucking die? Good work.
Stell! Stell! Oh, my God! Ow! Stella Morris, you're pathetic.
You're letting your team down, you're letting me down, but more importantly, you're letting yourself down.
You should be ashamed.
You're a sad, pathetic excuse for a human being.
All right, all right, easy.
No, they love it, bewt.
Whose ridiculous idea was this? Whee! Jensen's salon, Collette speaking.
See you tomorrow.
Jacqueline, where have you been all my life? Yeah, I went for three weeks but to be honest, it just flew by.
Well, it felt more like three days.
Yeah.
Hmm.
Yes? I don't know which is worse, not being with you at all or being with you for a tiny amount of time.
Oh, I love you so much.
- Marcus! - Oh, my God! I'm sorry, Collette, but you were going to find out soon enough! Me and Marcus, we love each other.
- Emma, don't.
- There's no point pretending.
Well, she's got that right.
You pack your things and get out.
- Please, Collette, not like - Now! Right.
I'll just sort Ben out for tomorrow, say hello to the baby and I'll be round.
Thanks for that bit of madness.
- A lot of fun.
- Aw.
- Nice to see Katie laughing, wasn't it? - Yeah, it was.
Well, that was absolutely brilliant, wasn't it, Ben? - What's going on? - Oh, Mam.
Collette found out about us.
She've thrown him out.
- Who are you? - Ben, this is Marcus.
He's moving in.
Stella, I can't understand what you're saying.
Oh, sorry.
I mean, basically, I have now got three families living at my house.
Five adults, a teenage boy and three babies.
- Oh, and a dog.
- Don't forget Banjo.
Well, why don't you let the toddlers have your little single room? That would work, wouldn't it? Where am I meant to go? Well, I was hoping you'd have sleepovers at mine, only every night.
Serious? Proper cockin' serious.
I do love it when you talk all Valleys.
- Yeah? - Makes me proper cockin' horny.
So look you now Whose coat is that jacket of by here? Do you, do you There's a big league, now, boyo, isn't it? - Hmm? - I seriously have never met - a Welsh person who says "boyo".
- No? - Dad? - Katie? Aw, he's fast asleep in Mam's bed now.
He loves it in there, he does.
Collette won't answer the house phone, either.
I haven't spoken to the kids or anything.
It's going to take time, all this.
Yeah.
But at least you've got me to take your mind off things.
Hmm? Well, in that case, let's just get some sleep, yeah? Marcus? I'm on your side, remember? Andy's finished with her, did you know? - I didn't - I said I was glad and she called me a cold-hearted little bitch.
- What? - Dad, she was really horrible.
It's okay, Katie.
- It's okay.
- I've never liked Andy.
She knows that.
Yeah, but you were never going to like anyone your mum went out with, were you? Yeah, 'cause they're not you, are they? I really miss you, Dad.
- I'll get it.
- Thanks.
I know you and mum just rowed all the time - but at least you were living at home.
- Jan.
You do not just leave the house without letting me know where you are going! Hang on, hang on, you can't just come in here and start reading the riot act.
- Yeah, it's not really solving anything.
- This is my house.
And Katie's here and she's safe so This has nothing to do with you, so butt out.
- Er, yes it has.
- Mum, she's just trying to help.
Get in the car, please.
You're coming home.
- No, I'm staying here.
- I said get in the car! - I said no! - No need to shout.
Michael.
Sweetheart, it's probably best if you go with your mum tonight.
Only if you come with me.
- You know that's out of the question.
- Please, Dad.
Come here after school, stay tomorrow night instead.
I'll do Bolognese.
How does that sound? Yeah, whatever.
I'll see you tomorrow, then.
Thank you.
What's going on? Collette's called an emergency staff meeting.
Right, I have some news I would like to share with you.
You're going to find out pretty soon, anyway.
Are we up for another award? No.
Your boss, Marcus Jensen, has been having an affair with your colleague, - Emma Morris.
- Oh, my God.
Collette, please don't do this.
I will be starting divorce proceedings as soon as possible.
But I want you to know this won't in any way affect the running of the salon.
On you go.
O-M-effing-G, I've known you since infants and you couldn't even tell me? Nearly forgot, one last thing.
Emma, you're fired.
Obviously.
No pay and no references.
Now, get out! Collette, you can't just make business decisions like that without consulting me.
I still own 50% of the company.
Koop Khun Ka.
That's Thailish, isn't it? Is it true you used to live in Bangkok? It's Phu Kok, actually.
It's a very different vibe.
Bangkok, Phu Kok, Changkok, shuttlecock, it's all a load of cock to me.
Enough of the cock already.
It's frizzing me head.
Only two schoolchildren in here at a time.
Thanking you.
Er, there are only two of us.
I think you'll find there's three.
You short-sighted little camper-van, you.
Oh, hiya! All right? Uh, it's okay, I'm all done here.
I'll wait outside, Little Al.
Er, where do you put the cooking mags? Top shelf.
But you'll have to be 18 to buy them.
Cockin' cooking he said, Parv.
Not cockin' cock.
Oh! What if Parvadi had seen you? They've got CCTV in there, you know.
Yeah, who cares? - Do you want some? - No! Look, why don't you come over with Little Al tonight? I've got a new PS game.
Let me think, uh get drunk on vodka or go and play some stupid little game with some stupid little boys? Ooh, difficult choice.
What are you being like this for? I'm your friend.
- Why are you sad? - I'm not sad, you're sad.
Ben! - I'm going with Katie.
- What? Right, those of you who volunteered for A&E tonight, please remember the following rules.
You watch, you observe, you speak when you are spoken to.
One bad report and you are back on the bench.
- Comprends? - Yes, Cheryl.
Hello, gorgeous.
How's your day been? Say something unashamedly filthy and disgusting to me.
Erm the milk in the staff kitchen is mouldy and green.
No, come on.
- Are you sat at your desk? - Yes.
Okay, Mr Jackson, imagine I'm wearing my nurse's uniform but not my actual nurse's uniform.
- The white one.
- The sexy one.
And I've hidden myself under your desk just in front of where you sit.
And at first you don't know I'm there and a client comes in.
Who's the client? Oh, I don't know, some rich Russian woman who's committed a terrible crime.
Okay, go on.
Okay, so you're talking to Martina Navratovic ovic.
And whilst you listening to her and putting on your best - serious solicitor's face - Mmm-hmm.
I very slowly start unbuckling your belt.
God, yes.
Go on.
And then I unzip your trousers.
Oh, Jesus.
And you are so turned on but you can't show it because Martina will notice.
But you can't help yourself.
You start breathing faster and faster.
And Martina says, Michael, Mr Jackson, what is wrong with you? And finally you cave in and you say, "I am so sorry, Ms Navratovicovic "but my girlfriend is under the desk and is giving me the most amazing" - Cheryl! - Cheryl? - I thought her name was Martina.
- Bye! God, don't stop Just renewing my car insurance.
Tina? Come on, you weren't born Keckers.
What's your actual name? - It's Kevin, isn't it, Keck? - Piss off, it's not Kevin.
Come on, posh girl, see if you can guess.
Katie, can we go? This is boring.
That's because you're not drinking, Benno.
- Do you want a can or bottle? - No, I don't want to.
Katie, come on.
Hey, Ben, what do you reckon Keckers' real name is? I don't know, will you come down from there? - Christopher, Carlos or Kevin? - It's dangerous.
Actually, posh girl, he's got a point, like.
You better come down.
Katie, man, for God's sake.
Why? It's beautiful up here, I can see for miles.
Whoa! That scared you, didn't it? Katie, get down.
Okay, okay.
Katie! All right Katie? Just checking where you are.
Bolognese is Mmm, perfect! Come on, hurry up.
I'm starving.
Teenage girl fell 15 feet from a wall onto hard ground.
Possible spinal damage, fracture to the distal fibula and certain head injuries.
Definitely intoxicated and conscious with minimal responses.
Count of three, all right? One, two, three.
Do we have a name? - Yes, it's Katie - Katie.
Katie Jackson.
I know her.
Ah, Martina, I knew you would call.
You can't resist my powers of seduction.
Michael I know, terrible accent.
Yours was much better.
Sweetheart, listen to me.
It's Katie.
All these tubes coming out of her make her look so Stell.
I brought you all some breakfast.
Food in this place is dreadful, by all accounts.
Thanks.
The kids all right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, don't you worry about them.
Bless her, the poor little lamb.
Right, well, I won't stop.
Er There's some washed things and a change of clothes for you all in here.
I'm afraid Jan will have to borrow yours, Stell.
They'll be massive on her, of course, but at least they'll be clean.
You're very kind.
I'll pop back later.
It's just my baby girl, Stella.
My little girl.
What if she Oh, fuck! I'll try and talk to Collette today.
She might have calmed down a bit.
Marcus, I can't go back and work at Jensen's.
Be realistic.
And to be honest, after what happened to Katie Jackson, it have put all this in perspective.
I texted Ben 11 times last night and I Facebooked him.
Nothing! Whenever she's around, he do drop me like a hot scone.
Little Alan, he's probably got a bit of a crush on her, that's all.
There you go.
Yeah, well, me and Ben were fine before she came along.
Weren't we, Dad? - I don't believe this.
- What's wrong? It's from the solicitor.
It says my mother made a new will.
I got to go in and discuss it.
Let's have a look.
Hey, this could really get us out of a hole, you know.
Well, hang on.
Wait and see what the will says before you start spending money you haven't got.
- Ben just texted me.
- See, he hasn't forgotten you.
Little Al? Poor Katie, eh? Little Alan's distraught.
Feels guilty because he doesn't really like the girl.
Still, you wouldn't wish that on anyone, would you? Only it'll have taken the edge off of this, then, I guess.
Aye.
Though, to be fair, it don't actually say you've inherited anything, Al.
I know, but it's about my mother's will.
What else can it mean? Beware masked men wearing sheep's trousers.
- Sorry? - Don't get your hopes up.
It might be a scam.
It's a letter from my solicitor, in what way can it be a scam? Well, your brother told you you weren't getting a penny.
What have changed? That's what you've got to ask yourself.
Hey, what's going on? Here you go.
A Luke Morgan deluxe bacon butty, butty boy.
Only special people get them.
Thanks.
Hey, me and Zoe been talking, haven't we, Zo? Oh, yeah! And we'd really love it, if at the wedding, like, you were my best man.
What do you say? - Serious? - Yeah, why wouldn't I be? 'Cause I'm a bit of a crap person.
Great, so you can make a bit of a crap speech.
- Agreed? - Okay, thanks.
Now, eat up and I'll drop you to school.
- Do I have to? - Yes! It's always best to keep things normal when stuff like this happens, babe.
But everyone's going to say it was my fault.
How'd you work that one out? You were the one who tried to stop her.
- Any news? - No.
I'll make us some coffee.
It's awful, mind, isn't it? But I don't suppose you ever stop worrying about them.
Yeah, well, we all do stupid things, don't we? No matter what age, make stupid mistakes.
Luke! Sorry, I'm, uh, just looking for the cafetiére? Priceless.
Oh, we've only got instant, sorry.
- Mam don't like the real stuff.
- Fine, it's no probs.
I'll tell you something, Dai Davies.
You are pushing my whatshernames.
- Make no mistake.
- I was doing a favour for George.
Who do you think you are, huh? That poor Jackson girl is lying half dead in a hospital bed, tubes and God knows what in her what-yer-calls and there's you, lording it about the place like Puff the Magic Dragon.
You should be ashamed of yourself.
What's it got to do with me? She fell off a wall.
You heartless beast! You can get out there now and tell them butchers they've been doubled-booked.
I'll do no such thing.
Right.
Ladies, your attention, please! Due to unforeseen whatshernames beyond my thingummy, I'm afraid Brenda's Buses can no longer provide transport for your hen.
What, are you kidding me? Because as of now, my drivers are on strike.
Aw! Alan, Yanto! Down tools.
They might be your buses, Dai Davies, but they're my bloody drivers.
Come on, boys! Well? Don't worry, lads, I'll drive the bloody thing myself.
Get out of my way.
You just try it, buddy boy! Emily Pankhurst don't have nothing on me.
You want to wage war, do you, Aunty Brenda? Then consider it waged.
Bring it on! Dad's gone to get some fresh air.
- I'm not sure where Mum is.
- Right.
Can I just ask, between ourselves, obviously, but Katie is going to come out of this, isn't she? Look, I don't want to alarm the parents unduly, but we would have hoped for some improvement by now and there hasn't been any.
Hiya, it's Aunty Brenda for Andy Marsh.
Right, take a seat.
So, we'll get the ball rolling and I'll be in touch.
Ah, all right, Al? Any news on the inheritance? Yes.
Andrew here reckons I could be getting a few pounds.
That's not what I actually said, Alan.
What I said was I can't comment until I've seen the will.
- So, I'm thinking of buying a yacht.
- Oh, there we are, then.
- What are you here for? - Hostile takeover bid.
I'm suing Dai Davies.
Do you want to come through, then, Aunty Brenda? Righty-o.
- Am I too late? - What the hell are you doing here? Hey, Dai, I might be getting a boat.
You can have first dibs on it if you want.
- Sorry, who are you? - Dai Davies, I'm her partner.
I want to mount a hostile takeover bid.
Oh, no, you don't, good boy, I am overtaking you hostile.
- No, you're not.
- Yes, I am! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Cool it, McCluskey.
I can't represent both of you.
- Aunty Brenda was here first.
- See? - Then I'll stage a sit-in.
- What's that going to achieve? - I don't know yet.
- Oof! This is ridiculous.
Go away, sort yourselves out and stop wasting my time.
There are people out there with real problems today, yeah? People literally fighting for their lives, yeah? Think about it.
They just come in, don't say a word, do all these tests, and we're just sat here and Why won't someone tell us what the fuck is going on? For God's sake, Michael, shut up.
How is this helping anyone? Sorry.
You absolutely don't have to apologise.
Thank your Aunt for these.
I know they're too big.
- Is there someone who can - I don't know how to say this.
But why is it that our daughter only ever seems to be in trouble - when your son's involved, hmm? - What? Last week she's breaking in and stealing, last night she's drinking vodka and falling 15 feet off a bloody wall! - Hang on, Jan - And both times Ben was there.
You can't blame Ben, for God's sake.
- He was the one trying to get her down.
- I could just as easily say it was your fault for upsetting us so much.
She told me you called her a cold-hearted little bitch the other night.
That's lovely coming from your own mother, isn't it? You have no idea what it's been like bringing her up on my own.
- No idea whatsoever! - Are you for real? It's what you wanted.
I didn't ask you to have an affair and divorce me, Jan, - or have you forgotten that? - Right, just stop, this is ridiculous and completely inappropriate.
Christ! Who'd want to come out of a coma if they had to listen to you two at each other's throats all day? Morning.
Been looking all over for you.
Thank you.
Oh! Didn't get much sleep last night.
Sorry.
You haven't been sleeping at all, I know.
It's just the bed's a bit big without you in it.
I'm wittering.
- Two days now, Stella.
- I know.
I keep thinking about the last time I saw her.
Why didn't I just let her stay over? - Come on, don't do this to yourself.
- I should've stood up for her.
Do you remember that night, she told how much she misses me? Of course she does.
And so I've been thinking, when she gets better I'm going to really start listening to her and - take notice, be there for her - You already do those things.
when she needs me, even when she doesn't need me.
I'm going to stop being so caught up in my own stupid little life.
- It was an accident, Michael.
- And she's going to come first.
Because I've been so selfish and self-centred.
But when she gets better, all that's going to change.
And what if she doesn't? I'm just saying, that's all.
Michael, Michael.
She's come round.
What? She's come round.
Ah! Look at them, Marj.
I mean, they may as well stick a red light on the roof and a what-yer-call in the window, the amount of debauchery oozing out of that house.
A married man, no less.
And a hairdresser.
We're all finding it terribly exciting, aren't we, Glen? Oh, aye, it's like being in a dirty French film.
Oh, God! We heard the good news, you must be over the moon.
Well, she's not out of the woods yet but she's up and talking, so I'll, um, sort things out at my house, have a shower and then I'll pop over.
- Oh, what a day! - Actually, Stell, do you mind if, um I just think I need to be on my own for a bit, get my head together.
Of course.
You're all right, are you? Yeah, just need to get some sleep and stuff before I go back to the hospital.
- Well, you know where I am.
- Yeah.
- Come on.
- Yes! - Yes, yes, yes, yes! - Oh, well done.
- You were immense.
- Oh, that was brilliant.
I never thought I'd be any good at something like that.
When Dad gets his inheritance, he's going to buy me the next one up, aren't you? Definitely, you can have 10.
Well, let's cross bridges when we come to them, shall we? He doesn't know yet if there is any actual inheritance.
Now, who wants hot chocolate? Uh, no, I'm going up to the hospital with my mam.
Yeah, I'll have one with the marshmallows I'll put the marshmallows on, don't worry.
How is she, by the way? Well, she's talking and that but she can't walk properly yet No, I mean your mam.
I've been a bit worried about her.
She's all right.
- See you, Little Al.
- Yeah.
Is she your dad's girlfriend now, like, proper? Yeah, they have sex and everything.
Oh, gross.
- How do you know? - I've seen her pants in the bathroom.
Oh! Yeah, right, so you never touched a single drop of alcohol till you were 18? No, I did not, Katie, because that is the law.
Honestly, Michael Jackson, you're such a big fat liar.
How dare you? - Hiya! - Stella.
- Hi, Ben.
- Oh, my God, look at your leg.
That is well immense.
Hello! Who's for coffee? I'll go to the machine.
- Not for me, cheers.
- Yeah, go on, then.
I'm so going to tag all over that cast.
That's wicked.
You'll do no such bloody thing, Benjamin Morris.
Uh, Stella, can I, um - They're letting her come home tomorrow.
- Oh, my God, so soon! Yeah, 24-hour care, of course.
Of course.
So, I'm going to go stay at Jan's for a bit, you know, help settle her in.
- Hmm.
Who, Jan or Katie? - Hmm.
I think that's a really good idea.
Michael, have you got any tens? The bloody thing is rejecting mine.
Hey, Stell! Oh, hello, stranger.
What are you doing up here? Just been to see a man about a field.
- What? - Yeah, I'm thinking of buying one.
Once the money from the house comes through, like.
But you were buying a boat, someone said.
Well, I changed my mind.
I get seasick, see, so bit of a non-starter, that one.
But a field, well, there's all sorts of possibilities with a field.
You can rent it out to cows or geese or something or hire it out for weddings.
Promise me you'll never change.
I'll try.
So, come on, what is it? Oh, I don't know, Al.
I don't want to be paranoid and that but it feels like it's going a little bit wrong with me and Michael.
Hey, how comes? Since the accident, he spends all his time over Jan's.
Oh, but that's understandable, it's because of Katie.
But I've not seen him except one evening when he come over to pick up some clothes and even then he only had a few words for me.
Are you a mouse or a woman, Stella Morris? Or a man? - What? - Look, us fellas are a bit thick.
We need you women to tell us what to do.
Give us step-by-step instructions.
And he's probably not realised he's acting like a twat.
He's so worried about Katie and making things right for her he's forgotten all about you.
Charming.
Well, stop being so polite, man, get down there and sort him out.
It's him.
He's cooking me chilli tonight.
Yeah, see? Bit of dinner, bit of You'll be back in the game.
All right? Hiya.
Why did you ring? You should've just come in.
Oh, I don't know, didn't like to, uh - Uh, ta-da! - Ah, Lambrusco, excellent.
It's just a silly little Oh.
- thing, really.
- No, no, it's fine.
Come on in, then.
Well, I hope you're hungry because I've made loads.
Mmm, you know me, always ravenous.
Do you want me to open this or was it just a joke? Oh, God, no, you don't have to.
'Cause I've got a lovely Merlot breathing here.
Perfect.
So, - how is she? - Oh, God, Stella, so well.
Um, she's not moving about much yet but she's reading and watching DVDs and getting bored, which Jan thinks is a really good sign.
Does she? And how is Jan? Good, really good.
Obviously hugely relieved, as I am.
Try this.
Mmm.
Very nice.
So, Katie's got another scan on Tuesday.
Then hopefully it's just a matter of rest and recuperation for a few weeks.
Um, and we've had a chance to really talk about things, you know, and she's really opened up about how she was feeling.
She was keeping so much to herself.
Heartbreak.
Michael, are you finishing with me? Just say it.
You know, I planned how I wanted to tell you because it's really complicated, this.
It's not, though, is it? You're going back to Jan because you think that's what Katie wants.
Well, I thought she was okay with it all, you know, the divorce, but clearly she wasn't, so I've - I've got to put her feelings first.
- You're making a huge mistake.
- That makes it sound so - You and Jan can't stand each other.
She humiliates you.
Well, it's not been too bad the past few days.
You said she treats her clients better than you and you certainly don't love each other.
Yes, but love isn't, you know What? - Love isn't what? - Well, love's not everything, is it? It is in my book.
Please don't do this, Michael.
- I don't really have a choice.
- Yes, you do.
Choose me.
I can't.
Surprise! - It's a house in Chichester.
- It's a new start for all of us.
We're gathered here today to witness the marriage of Luke Morgan and Zoe Stewart.
You do realise you're destroying this entire family, don't you? Stella Morris, would you do me the honour of becoming my
That's 'cause my mum never even notices me.
- I hate you! - No, you don't, sweetheart.
You just hate the fact he's married.
She was Mum's will.
She's left everything to me.
- Everything? - You get nothing.
It's a girl.
Well, that's a sound I've not woken up to for 16 years.
Mmm.
Brings it all back, doesn't it? Katie was a lovely baby.
So was Ben.
- Then they grew up.
- What went wrong, eh? Oh, I've been too harsh on her, haven't I? It's horrible when one of your parents is disappointed in you.
Which is why our little family trip is going to sort us all out.
- About this - Oh, no, you don't.
You're not getting out of it now, good boy.
I have booked it.
You, me and the kids climbing up ropes and sliding down walls, - it'll be a good laugh.
- If you say so.
How come you're taller than me sitting up and shorter than me when you're standing? I've got a long back and short legs.
Now, I know most people say keepsakes are a waste of time but we say Do you want me to try walking her around the block a bit? She's not a dog.
what better way to give your guests the memory of this happy day.
We've got the traditional sugared almonds, of course.
Want me to go for you? Hey, enough of the grovelling, you're forgiven, okay? Oh, what's the point? - Good morning.
- Hiya, butt.
What are you two doing here? Well, this wedding is meant to be happening the week after next and we haven't even hired a reception venue.
We booked the church, mind.
You did know me and Bobs were the official wedding planners for the big day, didn't you, Stell? No, I didn't.
But then again, nobody tells me nothing.
Ben, get a move on, please.
You're lucky they're even having you back at that school.
I don't want you being late on your first day.
Oh, okay.
Oh, he wants to say hello to his new cousin, don't you? Hello! See, she's sleeping now.
All right? Coo-ee! - For God's sake.
Aw Right.
I finished this last night, I did.
I wanted to drop it off.
- For baby - Aw! Brenda.
What's that meant to be? Oh, but she's not called Brenda, Aunty Brenda! We haven't decided on a name yet.
Well, I've been telling everyone you've called her Brenda.
You can't have a newborn waltzing in wandering round with no name to her, what will people think? - We're definitely not calling her that.
- Ah! What? - That's not actually what I said, Andy.
- Yes, it is.
- No, it's not.
- It is! Katie's been with us the whole time and witnessed the entire conversation.
Katie, did I or did I not say that Andy would go out again tomorrow night if he so chooses? For God's sake! I don't know, Mum, I wasn't actually listening.
- Aunty Brenda.
- Yanto Bead.
Always a pleasure, George.
I'll see you and the boys, 10:00 sharp.
Thanks, Dai, I'll bring you them kidneys.
Aunty Brenda.
George the Butcher.
Whyfore you grinning like a Cheshire what-yer-call, Dai Davies? What? Just keeping the business ticking over, Aunty Brenda.
I do, after all, own a 50% stake in this company.
Yeah, well, you can take your stake and you can fry it in a pan.
'Cause I don't need you sticking your nose in where it's not wanted.
Cars is your thing, good boy, not coaches.
And just 'cause you ain't got none to sell - Through no fault of my own.
- don't give you license to go poking round my patch.
Now, get your grubby little squirrel paws off of my bookings book.
As you wish.
Mrs Aunty Brenda, I hope to God you can help me.
Shoot! Amy is late back from her lunch again.
- You'll have to look after Mrs Lloyd.
- Okay.
Emma, before you do, just check this with me a sec.
This, um Does that look right to you? It looks perfect.
Are you off to the cash and carry just now? Uh, yeah.
Pick me up some small black towels, will you? Sure.
- There you go, Parvadi, all booked in.
- That's great! - For God's sake! - Thanks, Mrs Aunty Brenda.
Just to be clear, when I said a few hens, I meant a few women.
Not actual hens.
That'd be weird.
Right.
You better get on the phone to the butcher and tell him to look for alternative transport, 'cause Wednesday morning, my buses are taking them girls.
I'll do no such thing.
I took George's booking first.
Then you can untake it.
George the Butcher is a highly respected businessman with a very important cattle conference to attend, and it's his sort of custom Brenda's Buses should be attracting, not a random bunch of sordid hens.
You are being grossly unfair, grossly unfair.
Rich coming from you.
All I'm asking for is one night, one night when we could spend some quality time together.
Don't do this to me, Jan.
Do not make me choose between you and them.
For God's sake.
I was bell-ringing long before we got together.
You always knew that was part of the deal.
Great, so being stuck up some freezing belfry is more appealing to you than being stuck up Than being with me.
There's 10 years between us, for Pete's sake, we're bound to have different interests.
- Huh! - And they do say campanology is a young man's game.
I thought it turned you on, having sex with an older woman.
You never fail to tell me that's your schoolboy fantasy.
Right, I'm off.
Andy, Andy! Taking Katie to Rope World, so Shut up, Michael.
Andy, Andy! You've got that on the completely wrong way round.
I don't know what I'm doing.
- Hiya.
- Hiya.
Sorry we're late.
Someone took a bit of persuading.
You look weirdly rather good in that.
Perv.
Go on, then, get strapped in.
Dad, do we have to? Jackson M and Jackson K.
On the double, left-right, or else drop and give me 20.
Looks like we do.
All right, you lot, are you ready to fucking die? Good work.
Stell! Stell! Oh, my God! Ow! Stella Morris, you're pathetic.
You're letting your team down, you're letting me down, but more importantly, you're letting yourself down.
You should be ashamed.
You're a sad, pathetic excuse for a human being.
All right, all right, easy.
No, they love it, bewt.
Whose ridiculous idea was this? Whee! Jensen's salon, Collette speaking.
See you tomorrow.
Jacqueline, where have you been all my life? Yeah, I went for three weeks but to be honest, it just flew by.
Well, it felt more like three days.
Yeah.
Hmm.
Yes? I don't know which is worse, not being with you at all or being with you for a tiny amount of time.
Oh, I love you so much.
- Marcus! - Oh, my God! I'm sorry, Collette, but you were going to find out soon enough! Me and Marcus, we love each other.
- Emma, don't.
- There's no point pretending.
Well, she's got that right.
You pack your things and get out.
- Please, Collette, not like - Now! Right.
I'll just sort Ben out for tomorrow, say hello to the baby and I'll be round.
Thanks for that bit of madness.
- A lot of fun.
- Aw.
- Nice to see Katie laughing, wasn't it? - Yeah, it was.
Well, that was absolutely brilliant, wasn't it, Ben? - What's going on? - Oh, Mam.
Collette found out about us.
She've thrown him out.
- Who are you? - Ben, this is Marcus.
He's moving in.
Stella, I can't understand what you're saying.
Oh, sorry.
I mean, basically, I have now got three families living at my house.
Five adults, a teenage boy and three babies.
- Oh, and a dog.
- Don't forget Banjo.
Well, why don't you let the toddlers have your little single room? That would work, wouldn't it? Where am I meant to go? Well, I was hoping you'd have sleepovers at mine, only every night.
Serious? Proper cockin' serious.
I do love it when you talk all Valleys.
- Yeah? - Makes me proper cockin' horny.
So look you now Whose coat is that jacket of by here? Do you, do you There's a big league, now, boyo, isn't it? - Hmm? - I seriously have never met - a Welsh person who says "boyo".
- No? - Dad? - Katie? Aw, he's fast asleep in Mam's bed now.
He loves it in there, he does.
Collette won't answer the house phone, either.
I haven't spoken to the kids or anything.
It's going to take time, all this.
Yeah.
But at least you've got me to take your mind off things.
Hmm? Well, in that case, let's just get some sleep, yeah? Marcus? I'm on your side, remember? Andy's finished with her, did you know? - I didn't - I said I was glad and she called me a cold-hearted little bitch.
- What? - Dad, she was really horrible.
It's okay, Katie.
- It's okay.
- I've never liked Andy.
She knows that.
Yeah, but you were never going to like anyone your mum went out with, were you? Yeah, 'cause they're not you, are they? I really miss you, Dad.
- I'll get it.
- Thanks.
I know you and mum just rowed all the time - but at least you were living at home.
- Jan.
You do not just leave the house without letting me know where you are going! Hang on, hang on, you can't just come in here and start reading the riot act.
- Yeah, it's not really solving anything.
- This is my house.
And Katie's here and she's safe so This has nothing to do with you, so butt out.
- Er, yes it has.
- Mum, she's just trying to help.
Get in the car, please.
You're coming home.
- No, I'm staying here.
- I said get in the car! - I said no! - No need to shout.
Michael.
Sweetheart, it's probably best if you go with your mum tonight.
Only if you come with me.
- You know that's out of the question.
- Please, Dad.
Come here after school, stay tomorrow night instead.
I'll do Bolognese.
How does that sound? Yeah, whatever.
I'll see you tomorrow, then.
Thank you.
What's going on? Collette's called an emergency staff meeting.
Right, I have some news I would like to share with you.
You're going to find out pretty soon, anyway.
Are we up for another award? No.
Your boss, Marcus Jensen, has been having an affair with your colleague, - Emma Morris.
- Oh, my God.
Collette, please don't do this.
I will be starting divorce proceedings as soon as possible.
But I want you to know this won't in any way affect the running of the salon.
On you go.
O-M-effing-G, I've known you since infants and you couldn't even tell me? Nearly forgot, one last thing.
Emma, you're fired.
Obviously.
No pay and no references.
Now, get out! Collette, you can't just make business decisions like that without consulting me.
I still own 50% of the company.
Koop Khun Ka.
That's Thailish, isn't it? Is it true you used to live in Bangkok? It's Phu Kok, actually.
It's a very different vibe.
Bangkok, Phu Kok, Changkok, shuttlecock, it's all a load of cock to me.
Enough of the cock already.
It's frizzing me head.
Only two schoolchildren in here at a time.
Thanking you.
Er, there are only two of us.
I think you'll find there's three.
You short-sighted little camper-van, you.
Oh, hiya! All right? Uh, it's okay, I'm all done here.
I'll wait outside, Little Al.
Er, where do you put the cooking mags? Top shelf.
But you'll have to be 18 to buy them.
Cockin' cooking he said, Parv.
Not cockin' cock.
Oh! What if Parvadi had seen you? They've got CCTV in there, you know.
Yeah, who cares? - Do you want some? - No! Look, why don't you come over with Little Al tonight? I've got a new PS game.
Let me think, uh get drunk on vodka or go and play some stupid little game with some stupid little boys? Ooh, difficult choice.
What are you being like this for? I'm your friend.
- Why are you sad? - I'm not sad, you're sad.
Ben! - I'm going with Katie.
- What? Right, those of you who volunteered for A&E tonight, please remember the following rules.
You watch, you observe, you speak when you are spoken to.
One bad report and you are back on the bench.
- Comprends? - Yes, Cheryl.
Hello, gorgeous.
How's your day been? Say something unashamedly filthy and disgusting to me.
Erm the milk in the staff kitchen is mouldy and green.
No, come on.
- Are you sat at your desk? - Yes.
Okay, Mr Jackson, imagine I'm wearing my nurse's uniform but not my actual nurse's uniform.
- The white one.
- The sexy one.
And I've hidden myself under your desk just in front of where you sit.
And at first you don't know I'm there and a client comes in.
Who's the client? Oh, I don't know, some rich Russian woman who's committed a terrible crime.
Okay, go on.
Okay, so you're talking to Martina Navratovic ovic.
And whilst you listening to her and putting on your best - serious solicitor's face - Mmm-hmm.
I very slowly start unbuckling your belt.
God, yes.
Go on.
And then I unzip your trousers.
Oh, Jesus.
And you are so turned on but you can't show it because Martina will notice.
But you can't help yourself.
You start breathing faster and faster.
And Martina says, Michael, Mr Jackson, what is wrong with you? And finally you cave in and you say, "I am so sorry, Ms Navratovicovic "but my girlfriend is under the desk and is giving me the most amazing" - Cheryl! - Cheryl? - I thought her name was Martina.
- Bye! God, don't stop Just renewing my car insurance.
Tina? Come on, you weren't born Keckers.
What's your actual name? - It's Kevin, isn't it, Keck? - Piss off, it's not Kevin.
Come on, posh girl, see if you can guess.
Katie, can we go? This is boring.
That's because you're not drinking, Benno.
- Do you want a can or bottle? - No, I don't want to.
Katie, come on.
Hey, Ben, what do you reckon Keckers' real name is? I don't know, will you come down from there? - Christopher, Carlos or Kevin? - It's dangerous.
Actually, posh girl, he's got a point, like.
You better come down.
Katie, man, for God's sake.
Why? It's beautiful up here, I can see for miles.
Whoa! That scared you, didn't it? Katie, get down.
Okay, okay.
Katie! All right Katie? Just checking where you are.
Bolognese is Mmm, perfect! Come on, hurry up.
I'm starving.
Teenage girl fell 15 feet from a wall onto hard ground.
Possible spinal damage, fracture to the distal fibula and certain head injuries.
Definitely intoxicated and conscious with minimal responses.
Count of three, all right? One, two, three.
Do we have a name? - Yes, it's Katie - Katie.
Katie Jackson.
I know her.
Ah, Martina, I knew you would call.
You can't resist my powers of seduction.
Michael I know, terrible accent.
Yours was much better.
Sweetheart, listen to me.
It's Katie.
All these tubes coming out of her make her look so Stell.
I brought you all some breakfast.
Food in this place is dreadful, by all accounts.
Thanks.
The kids all right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, don't you worry about them.
Bless her, the poor little lamb.
Right, well, I won't stop.
Er There's some washed things and a change of clothes for you all in here.
I'm afraid Jan will have to borrow yours, Stell.
They'll be massive on her, of course, but at least they'll be clean.
You're very kind.
I'll pop back later.
It's just my baby girl, Stella.
My little girl.
What if she Oh, fuck! I'll try and talk to Collette today.
She might have calmed down a bit.
Marcus, I can't go back and work at Jensen's.
Be realistic.
And to be honest, after what happened to Katie Jackson, it have put all this in perspective.
I texted Ben 11 times last night and I Facebooked him.
Nothing! Whenever she's around, he do drop me like a hot scone.
Little Alan, he's probably got a bit of a crush on her, that's all.
There you go.
Yeah, well, me and Ben were fine before she came along.
Weren't we, Dad? - I don't believe this.
- What's wrong? It's from the solicitor.
It says my mother made a new will.
I got to go in and discuss it.
Let's have a look.
Hey, this could really get us out of a hole, you know.
Well, hang on.
Wait and see what the will says before you start spending money you haven't got.
- Ben just texted me.
- See, he hasn't forgotten you.
Little Al? Poor Katie, eh? Little Alan's distraught.
Feels guilty because he doesn't really like the girl.
Still, you wouldn't wish that on anyone, would you? Only it'll have taken the edge off of this, then, I guess.
Aye.
Though, to be fair, it don't actually say you've inherited anything, Al.
I know, but it's about my mother's will.
What else can it mean? Beware masked men wearing sheep's trousers.
- Sorry? - Don't get your hopes up.
It might be a scam.
It's a letter from my solicitor, in what way can it be a scam? Well, your brother told you you weren't getting a penny.
What have changed? That's what you've got to ask yourself.
Hey, what's going on? Here you go.
A Luke Morgan deluxe bacon butty, butty boy.
Only special people get them.
Thanks.
Hey, me and Zoe been talking, haven't we, Zo? Oh, yeah! And we'd really love it, if at the wedding, like, you were my best man.
What do you say? - Serious? - Yeah, why wouldn't I be? 'Cause I'm a bit of a crap person.
Great, so you can make a bit of a crap speech.
- Agreed? - Okay, thanks.
Now, eat up and I'll drop you to school.
- Do I have to? - Yes! It's always best to keep things normal when stuff like this happens, babe.
But everyone's going to say it was my fault.
How'd you work that one out? You were the one who tried to stop her.
- Any news? - No.
I'll make us some coffee.
It's awful, mind, isn't it? But I don't suppose you ever stop worrying about them.
Yeah, well, we all do stupid things, don't we? No matter what age, make stupid mistakes.
Luke! Sorry, I'm, uh, just looking for the cafetiére? Priceless.
Oh, we've only got instant, sorry.
- Mam don't like the real stuff.
- Fine, it's no probs.
I'll tell you something, Dai Davies.
You are pushing my whatshernames.
- Make no mistake.
- I was doing a favour for George.
Who do you think you are, huh? That poor Jackson girl is lying half dead in a hospital bed, tubes and God knows what in her what-yer-calls and there's you, lording it about the place like Puff the Magic Dragon.
You should be ashamed of yourself.
What's it got to do with me? She fell off a wall.
You heartless beast! You can get out there now and tell them butchers they've been doubled-booked.
I'll do no such thing.
Right.
Ladies, your attention, please! Due to unforeseen whatshernames beyond my thingummy, I'm afraid Brenda's Buses can no longer provide transport for your hen.
What, are you kidding me? Because as of now, my drivers are on strike.
Aw! Alan, Yanto! Down tools.
They might be your buses, Dai Davies, but they're my bloody drivers.
Come on, boys! Well? Don't worry, lads, I'll drive the bloody thing myself.
Get out of my way.
You just try it, buddy boy! Emily Pankhurst don't have nothing on me.
You want to wage war, do you, Aunty Brenda? Then consider it waged.
Bring it on! Dad's gone to get some fresh air.
- I'm not sure where Mum is.
- Right.
Can I just ask, between ourselves, obviously, but Katie is going to come out of this, isn't she? Look, I don't want to alarm the parents unduly, but we would have hoped for some improvement by now and there hasn't been any.
Hiya, it's Aunty Brenda for Andy Marsh.
Right, take a seat.
So, we'll get the ball rolling and I'll be in touch.
Ah, all right, Al? Any news on the inheritance? Yes.
Andrew here reckons I could be getting a few pounds.
That's not what I actually said, Alan.
What I said was I can't comment until I've seen the will.
- So, I'm thinking of buying a yacht.
- Oh, there we are, then.
- What are you here for? - Hostile takeover bid.
I'm suing Dai Davies.
Do you want to come through, then, Aunty Brenda? Righty-o.
- Am I too late? - What the hell are you doing here? Hey, Dai, I might be getting a boat.
You can have first dibs on it if you want.
- Sorry, who are you? - Dai Davies, I'm her partner.
I want to mount a hostile takeover bid.
Oh, no, you don't, good boy, I am overtaking you hostile.
- No, you're not.
- Yes, I am! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Cool it, McCluskey.
I can't represent both of you.
- Aunty Brenda was here first.
- See? - Then I'll stage a sit-in.
- What's that going to achieve? - I don't know yet.
- Oof! This is ridiculous.
Go away, sort yourselves out and stop wasting my time.
There are people out there with real problems today, yeah? People literally fighting for their lives, yeah? Think about it.
They just come in, don't say a word, do all these tests, and we're just sat here and Why won't someone tell us what the fuck is going on? For God's sake, Michael, shut up.
How is this helping anyone? Sorry.
You absolutely don't have to apologise.
Thank your Aunt for these.
I know they're too big.
- Is there someone who can - I don't know how to say this.
But why is it that our daughter only ever seems to be in trouble - when your son's involved, hmm? - What? Last week she's breaking in and stealing, last night she's drinking vodka and falling 15 feet off a bloody wall! - Hang on, Jan - And both times Ben was there.
You can't blame Ben, for God's sake.
- He was the one trying to get her down.
- I could just as easily say it was your fault for upsetting us so much.
She told me you called her a cold-hearted little bitch the other night.
That's lovely coming from your own mother, isn't it? You have no idea what it's been like bringing her up on my own.
- No idea whatsoever! - Are you for real? It's what you wanted.
I didn't ask you to have an affair and divorce me, Jan, - or have you forgotten that? - Right, just stop, this is ridiculous and completely inappropriate.
Christ! Who'd want to come out of a coma if they had to listen to you two at each other's throats all day? Morning.
Been looking all over for you.
Thank you.
Oh! Didn't get much sleep last night.
Sorry.
You haven't been sleeping at all, I know.
It's just the bed's a bit big without you in it.
I'm wittering.
- Two days now, Stella.
- I know.
I keep thinking about the last time I saw her.
Why didn't I just let her stay over? - Come on, don't do this to yourself.
- I should've stood up for her.
Do you remember that night, she told how much she misses me? Of course she does.
And so I've been thinking, when she gets better I'm going to really start listening to her and - take notice, be there for her - You already do those things.
when she needs me, even when she doesn't need me.
I'm going to stop being so caught up in my own stupid little life.
- It was an accident, Michael.
- And she's going to come first.
Because I've been so selfish and self-centred.
But when she gets better, all that's going to change.
And what if she doesn't? I'm just saying, that's all.
Michael, Michael.
She's come round.
What? She's come round.
Ah! Look at them, Marj.
I mean, they may as well stick a red light on the roof and a what-yer-call in the window, the amount of debauchery oozing out of that house.
A married man, no less.
And a hairdresser.
We're all finding it terribly exciting, aren't we, Glen? Oh, aye, it's like being in a dirty French film.
Oh, God! We heard the good news, you must be over the moon.
Well, she's not out of the woods yet but she's up and talking, so I'll, um, sort things out at my house, have a shower and then I'll pop over.
- Oh, what a day! - Actually, Stell, do you mind if, um I just think I need to be on my own for a bit, get my head together.
Of course.
You're all right, are you? Yeah, just need to get some sleep and stuff before I go back to the hospital.
- Well, you know where I am.
- Yeah.
- Come on.
- Yes! - Yes, yes, yes, yes! - Oh, well done.
- You were immense.
- Oh, that was brilliant.
I never thought I'd be any good at something like that.
When Dad gets his inheritance, he's going to buy me the next one up, aren't you? Definitely, you can have 10.
Well, let's cross bridges when we come to them, shall we? He doesn't know yet if there is any actual inheritance.
Now, who wants hot chocolate? Uh, no, I'm going up to the hospital with my mam.
Yeah, I'll have one with the marshmallows I'll put the marshmallows on, don't worry.
How is she, by the way? Well, she's talking and that but she can't walk properly yet No, I mean your mam.
I've been a bit worried about her.
She's all right.
- See you, Little Al.
- Yeah.
Is she your dad's girlfriend now, like, proper? Yeah, they have sex and everything.
Oh, gross.
- How do you know? - I've seen her pants in the bathroom.
Oh! Yeah, right, so you never touched a single drop of alcohol till you were 18? No, I did not, Katie, because that is the law.
Honestly, Michael Jackson, you're such a big fat liar.
How dare you? - Hiya! - Stella.
- Hi, Ben.
- Oh, my God, look at your leg.
That is well immense.
Hello! Who's for coffee? I'll go to the machine.
- Not for me, cheers.
- Yeah, go on, then.
I'm so going to tag all over that cast.
That's wicked.
You'll do no such bloody thing, Benjamin Morris.
Uh, Stella, can I, um - They're letting her come home tomorrow.
- Oh, my God, so soon! Yeah, 24-hour care, of course.
Of course.
So, I'm going to go stay at Jan's for a bit, you know, help settle her in.
- Hmm.
Who, Jan or Katie? - Hmm.
I think that's a really good idea.
Michael, have you got any tens? The bloody thing is rejecting mine.
Hey, Stell! Oh, hello, stranger.
What are you doing up here? Just been to see a man about a field.
- What? - Yeah, I'm thinking of buying one.
Once the money from the house comes through, like.
But you were buying a boat, someone said.
Well, I changed my mind.
I get seasick, see, so bit of a non-starter, that one.
But a field, well, there's all sorts of possibilities with a field.
You can rent it out to cows or geese or something or hire it out for weddings.
Promise me you'll never change.
I'll try.
So, come on, what is it? Oh, I don't know, Al.
I don't want to be paranoid and that but it feels like it's going a little bit wrong with me and Michael.
Hey, how comes? Since the accident, he spends all his time over Jan's.
Oh, but that's understandable, it's because of Katie.
But I've not seen him except one evening when he come over to pick up some clothes and even then he only had a few words for me.
Are you a mouse or a woman, Stella Morris? Or a man? - What? - Look, us fellas are a bit thick.
We need you women to tell us what to do.
Give us step-by-step instructions.
And he's probably not realised he's acting like a twat.
He's so worried about Katie and making things right for her he's forgotten all about you.
Charming.
Well, stop being so polite, man, get down there and sort him out.
It's him.
He's cooking me chilli tonight.
Yeah, see? Bit of dinner, bit of You'll be back in the game.
All right? Hiya.
Why did you ring? You should've just come in.
Oh, I don't know, didn't like to, uh - Uh, ta-da! - Ah, Lambrusco, excellent.
It's just a silly little Oh.
- thing, really.
- No, no, it's fine.
Come on in, then.
Well, I hope you're hungry because I've made loads.
Mmm, you know me, always ravenous.
Do you want me to open this or was it just a joke? Oh, God, no, you don't have to.
'Cause I've got a lovely Merlot breathing here.
Perfect.
So, - how is she? - Oh, God, Stella, so well.
Um, she's not moving about much yet but she's reading and watching DVDs and getting bored, which Jan thinks is a really good sign.
Does she? And how is Jan? Good, really good.
Obviously hugely relieved, as I am.
Try this.
Mmm.
Very nice.
So, Katie's got another scan on Tuesday.
Then hopefully it's just a matter of rest and recuperation for a few weeks.
Um, and we've had a chance to really talk about things, you know, and she's really opened up about how she was feeling.
She was keeping so much to herself.
Heartbreak.
Michael, are you finishing with me? Just say it.
You know, I planned how I wanted to tell you because it's really complicated, this.
It's not, though, is it? You're going back to Jan because you think that's what Katie wants.
Well, I thought she was okay with it all, you know, the divorce, but clearly she wasn't, so I've - I've got to put her feelings first.
- You're making a huge mistake.
- That makes it sound so - You and Jan can't stand each other.
She humiliates you.
Well, it's not been too bad the past few days.
You said she treats her clients better than you and you certainly don't love each other.
Yes, but love isn't, you know What? - Love isn't what? - Well, love's not everything, is it? It is in my book.
Please don't do this, Michael.
- I don't really have a choice.
- Yes, you do.
Choose me.
I can't.
Surprise! - It's a house in Chichester.
- It's a new start for all of us.
We're gathered here today to witness the marriage of Luke Morgan and Zoe Stewart.
You do realise you're destroying this entire family, don't you? Stella Morris, would you do me the honour of becoming my