The A-Team (1983) s03e09 Episode Script
Showdown!
Looks like these folks don't want to listen to the A-Team, Face.
Think you can take on B.
A.
Baracus? Somebody is going around saying they're the A-Team.
[ululating.]
He always go on like this? lt's like a old-fashioned showdown.
We are the A-Team.
[screaming.]
You must remain our secret weapon.
There's only one A-Team.
(male narrator) In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit.
These men promptly escaped from a maximum-security stockade to the Los Angeles underground.
Today, still wanted by the government they survive as soldiers of fortune.
If you have a problem, if no one else can help and if you can find them maybe you can hire the A-Team.
[gun firing.]
[gun firing.]
[glass shattering.]
l don't know what you're still practicing for, Carrie.
l doubt this show's going to go on.
[birds chirping.]
l just can't accept it, Dad.
l mean, already half our people have been scared off and the others.
l just don't know how much more they can take.
We can't do it, Carrie.
We're dead.
l mean, nobody can go up against the A-Team.
Dad, why are they doing it? Why is the A-Team working for a guy like Kyle Mason? l don't know.
Ever since Mason found out about our European tour and l refused to sell to him, why it's just been hell around here.
Carrie, l'm usually a fighter.
Me, too, Dad.
Now, we just can't give up.
We can't.
You know how much l want to take this show to Europe.
But it's just not going to happen.
l mean, there comes a time when you know it's over.
l hate them for what they're doing to you.
[hooves clopping.]
[horse neighing.]
[tires screeching.]
Dad, it's the A-Team.
[people screaming.]
[horses neighing.]
Are you out of your mind? Firing a weapon around all these people and animals is just plain stupid! lt's just my way of getting your attention.
Yeah, we like people to listen.
What do you think you're doing? You just get out of here.
You're trespassing.
You got spunk.
l like that.
Maybe you could join the A-Team.
[spits.]
That's what l think of the A-Team.
Why, you.
[grunting.]
l'm going to get you for this! You're going to pay for this! You're-- [grunts.]
[Winnetka coughing.]
[groaning.]
Think you can take on B.
A.
Baracus? [grunting.]
[grunting.]
Anybody else want to be a hero? [birds chirping.]
[groaning.]
This is Mason's last offer.
$10,000 for your Wild West Show.
That's very generous.
l'd take it, if l were you.
l thought the A-Team was supposed to help people.
Your boss here went and got himself snakebit.
(Parker) lf you people were smart you'd start looking for another job while you're still able to.
[tires screeching.]
(Face) You're going to love this place.
No, no, the food's terrific.
You hang out here a lot? Hang out here? l practically own the place.
Here, have a seat.
Yeah, you know, it's a home away from home.
Most of the guys here are old war buddies of mine.
Hi, Sarge.
Hey, Peck, go find yourself another place to chow down in, huh? We don't want your kind around here.
Old war buddies, huh? lsn't he great? Yeah, l keep telling him, with a delivery like that he ought to be in the movies.
Hey, Sarge, do your Bogart impression.
You ought to be more careful with the company you keep.
He's a bum.
That's funny.
You know, you're a funny guy, Sarge.
You don't see me laughing, do you, Peck? l think we better go.
You want to tell me what's going on here? This.
Yesterday's newspaper.
lt seems you made Joe lvy's column.
Anybody here want to meet a prized creep? All right, keep at him.
Keep at him.
Look out! Watch out, all right, pretty move.
All right, now.
All right, that was a good shot.
But we're still going to practice more.
We can do better than that.
Remember, whenever you get caught in a jam pass the ball off.
Don't always go for that fancy passing through a man's legs, all right? Hey! What you guys doing? Come on, get some of this education.
What's wrong? Hannibal, do you believe this? l read it.
l believe it.
(B.
A.
) This is bad, Hannibal.
Real bad.
Somebody's going around saying they're the A-Team.
There's only one A-Team.
People are starting to believe what they've been reading.
l know, B.
A.
, l know.
''You've heard of them, the legendary A-Team.
''Three fugitives, alone and on the run ''chased by the military police wherever they go ''and yet these same men have found the time, over and over again ''to go to the aid of those in need ''the helpless and the oppressed.
''But ''is this yesterday's news? ''Have our modern day Robin Hoods gone sour? Or is this just a case of the leopard revealing its true spots?'' You know, somebody thinks it's good business to make the A-Team look bad.
These suckers gonna look bad when l get through with them.
Hannibal, you don't suppose the military came up with the idea of another A-Team in order to draw us out? l don't know.
But they'd try to use it either way.
l say we go down to that Wild West show that lvy writes about and flatten those phonies.
B.
A.
, l couldn't have said it better myself.
Face, spring Murdock out of the hospital.
Right.
We're on our way to Points West.
Yeah! Thank heavens.
Thank heavens l got here in time.
l'm Major Waldren, U.
S.
Army, Department of Toxic Waste and Medical Applications.
(Face) Thank goodness you haven't opened that door.
Door? What door? Here, put these on.
Luckily, we managed to isolate the spill-off.
Of course, we're not sure how much of the radiation is coming from the x-ray isotopes.
lsotopes? Yeah.
The boots, the boots, quickly! Before the water leaks through the door.
Major Waldren, l don't know what's going on here, sir.
Well, we have a busted water pipe in the medical x-ray room.
Yeah, it's water everywhere.
Flooded Section 18, Area Eight.
That's Captain Murdock's quarters, l believe.
Let me see, here, yeah.
But, Major, you can't go in.
Shh! Shh! Uh-huh.
(Face) Oh, no, yeah, yeah.
[sighs.]
Just what l was afraid of.
[crackling.]
[water running.]
Don't get off the bed! See, our feeling is most of the radiation is confined to the water.
So minimum contact shouldn't be too dangerous.
But just remember keep all the hallway doors closed.
Keep everyone out of the corridor.
Can l see the keys, please? Captain Murdock shouldn't be in Decontamination more than three days.
Now, listen [keys jingling.]
if nothing happens to this radiation badge that is if it doesn't change color that means you haven't been exposed.
You may report to work tomorrow.
But in the meantime, hush-hush.
Hush-hush.
Right.
But if it changes-- Now, go, go, go, go.
Quickly! Face, have you read the newspaper lately? Murdoch, will you get in the wheelchair? Have you read the newspaper lately? Will you get in the wheelchair? Have you read the newspaper lately? What? l want you to listen to this, all right.
''The legendary A-Team three wanted fugitives alone and on the run.
'' Three.
Three.
Did you get that word? Three.
Face, l am just as much a member of the A-Team as you are but my name, my name's not in this newspaper.
ls there something l'm doing wrong? Well, look, Murdock, technically you're not on the run with the rest of us.
That's the whole reason l have to come in here and scam you out every time.
lf the military thought you were one of us they'd be on top of you l guess so.
But, you know it kind of hurts you when you never get your name in the paper.
l mean, it makes you feel like, kinda like.
You know, you feel like an oddball.
Now, Murdock, you'll always be one of us.
The question is, which one.
Did you remember to turn off the faucet? l knew there was something l forgot to do.
[car doors closing.]
Sir! [sighs.]
Do you have anything to report, Sergeant? The fake A-Team showed up this morning and leaned real hard on Winnetka and his daughter to sell.
l am not interested in the fake A-Team.
The military gave me one more shot at the real A-Team and l am not going to fail.
No sign of them yet, sir.
Do you think they'll really show up, Colonel? l mean, they have to know it could be a trap.
They'll show up.
lt hasn't been that long that l've forgotten how Smith thinks.
Trap or no trap they'll show up to set the record straight.
And when they do [grinding teeth.]
they're mine.
You're looking real good, Jimmy.
That little pony is going to work out fine.
[truck door closing.]
Howdy.
Howdy.
What can l do for you boys? Well, we're looking for the gentleman who ramrods this gala.
Well, you're looking at him.
Winnetka's the name.
Rufus Cantrell, sir.
And l'm proud to make your acquaintance.
lt's always a pleasure to meet a true son of the Old West.
Got some mighty fine animals in there, sir.
Yes, mighty fine.
My lone lndian brave and l [hissing.]
are considering a jaunt along the sawdust trail.
Looking for work, are you? Me and my brave are looking for gainful employment.
l lend authenticity by singing some Western ditties.
[mumbling.]
Some fancy gunplay and some slight of hands with my deck of cards.
My brave, he does an interesting war dance.
[ululating.]
And, tricks with his tomahawk.
[ululating.]
He talks to it, too.
(Lynch) The lndian's definitely not one of them.
He's too tall to be Peck.
[sighs.]
What about the old man? Could it be Hannibal in disguise? lt's too hard to tell.
We can't move in until all the A-Team is together.
We make a run on one or two of them and the rest will never show.
l want them all.
lt hasn't been easy but you know, one thing about rodeoing once you get a taste, you can't give it up.
Yeah, tell me about it.
Yeah, it's been rodeos for me all the way.
Of course, there was that one stunt in Monte Carlo l did as a racecar driver.
Monte Carlo? Yeah.
Wow! l've never even been out of the United States.
Of course, we were planning on touring through Europe but it looks like that's not gonna happen.
Cheer up.
lt's not Monte Carlo but we could buy a brew and pizza, in Pomona.
[exclaiming.]
You make me laugh.
lt's the feet.
[grunts.]
Boys, l got to be honest with you.
The reason l got openings is because l've had a lot of trouble around here.
Well trouble has never hesitated or jarred Rufus Cantrell.
[ululating.]
Mighty warrior, where the mountain touches the sky where the rivers run deep the trees, they bend southward toward, toward Santa Monica.
All the signs are there, oh, great one.
The mighty buffalo shall return.
[ululating.]
He always go on like this? Ever since he lost his other feather.
Here comes the new rodeo clown now.
That's my daughter, Carrie, with him.
Mmm-hmm.
Hi, Dad.
So, what do you think of our new clown? (Winnetka) Fine, fine.
l want you all to meet two more of our new performers.
Mr.
Cantrell, and his brave, Mr.
l am sorry, l never did get your name.
l am, Oh, Great Mighty Troubled Warrior Running Round.
Well, l've got a rodeo to run.
l'll see you all in the mess tent for lunch.
[sighing.]
Cute trick.
Yeah.
Look, Hannibal, l'm not exactly delirious about all this.
lt's not going to put me on any best-dressed list.
Yeah, but it's a great cover.
l got a feeling that Lynch is watching us every minute.
Hey, Faceman, how do l look? Like a million, Chief.
l'm not a chief yet.
l'm a warrior.
Well, now, we're all in.
What about B.
A.
? Yeah, well, actually there were two openings.
One was rodeo clown, and the other was.
[thudding.]
B.
A.
, a shovel, now, that's no disguise.
l don't wear disguises, Hannibal.
Not even a feather for your hair? Get this crazy fool away from me.
You ain't no real lndian.
Real lndians don't look and act like a crazy fool.
Look, the main thing is not to get spotted standing all together, Face.
B.
A! B.
A.
, look how about this hat? You could play like you were a cowboy and then it'd be just you and me.
Cowboys and lndians! l'm going to play stagecoach, fool and run you over if you don't shut up.
[grunts.]
[tires screeching.]
[birds twittering.]
[wind whistling.]
This five-ton baby hits she'll take out half the camp.
An accident like that'll close down the show real fast.
[laughing.]
Like a cannonball through a batch of matchsticks.
All right, let's go.
Fire it up.
l'll spot you.
Easy.
Lock the wheel.
Come on, folks.
lrish stew today.
Let's get it while it's hot, Peck.
Hannibal! Warn the people.
[tires screeching.]
That was incredible! Just incredible! Your quick thinking saved a lot of people from getting hurt.
Well, somebody is awful anxious to put you out of business, Captain.
Well, l didn't think anybody could stand up to the A-Team.
Glad to hear you say that, ma'am, because that's why we came here.
This is B.
A.
Baracus this is Templeton Peck, Faceman.
This is Howlin' Mad Murdock and l'm Hannibal Smith.
We are the A-Team.
By the looks on your faces I can tell I'm not going to like what I'm going to hear.
We did like you said, Mason.
(Parker) Except some guys showed up and stopped the truck.
The way they handled themselves, they're pros.
Pros? What the hell did I do? Hire myself a bunch of amateurs? You wanted us to lean on Winnetka and we leaned on him.
Hard.
Obviously not hard enough.
l paid you clowns for results.
Winnetka was supposed to think he was coming up against the A-Team.
And what do l have to show for it? Nothing.
Parker, come here.
The cops are cracking down on my European connections.
l need Winnetka's overseas tour dates.
A Wild West show is a perfect cover to pick up drugs.
lt's just like a mail route.
But Winnetka is counting on his advance ticket sales to meet his next payroll.
l want you to see that they never get to him.
You got it? l am as much a member of the A-Team as you are and my name was not in that paper.
Now, did you hear Hannibal introduce me as a member of the A-Team? Well, l think the people have a right to know all of the facts.
They should know who l am.
Murdock we know you're a member of the A-Team.
That's the important thing.
Besides, take it from me.
Fame is just a fleeting shadow.
Just a passing breeze in the storm.
[birds chirping.]
[ululating.]
We will be able to get out of this, won't we, Peck? Of course we will.
You're a fighter, remember? lt's going to be rough.
Guys like Mason hate taking no for an answer.
But why would a rock promoter go to all the trouble of taking over a Wild West show? lt doesn't make sense.
Look, if Mason and his playmates show up again we'll be ready for them.
No one's going to force your father into selling his show.
lt's a dream come true for him, you know.
All his life he's been playing one-street towns.
Half of them not even on the map.
Now he's got a chance to tour the capitals of Europe.
Well, no one's going to stop him.
That's a promise.
Okay? Okay.
You still think the military's out there watching you? Yeah.
They're out there somewhere.
You spend your life on the run, you learn to trust in the things you can't see.
Excuse me.
Captain Winnetka told me to store these away.
Yeah, sure.
lt won't take but a second.
Are you sure it's him, Wilson? Positive, Colonel.
lt's Peck, all right.
He was disguised as one of the rodeo clowns.
Okay.
So now we know Peck is here, too.
Baracus is here.
We have the two of them.
lt's just a matter of Smith.
l'm almost positive Smith is here already, sir.
Until we're certain he's in the camp and we can positively identify him we can't afford to move in and risk revealing our position, now, can we? Just continue to report for the next two hours.
Yes, sir.
Smith, after all this time.
[tires screeching.]
That wouldn't happen to be the ticket receipts, would it, Captain? Looks like l got a welcoming committee.
[chuckling.]
You sure do, pop.
Now, why don't l just take that mail sack with those checks in it.
l wish you hadn't said that.
First, l'd like you to meet the real A-Team.
Second, you see that? That is a cheap cigar.
Face, do you see me? [groaning.]
[screaming.]
[groaning.]
Hannibal, l can't find-- Where, where.
Murdock, they don't have a ''you.
'' You fools! You didn't bring your Murdock.
What is the matter, phony Face couldn't break him out? Hannibal, this is the third time this month l've got hit in the eye.
l'm beginning to lose my sense of humor.
Face, a little ice will do wonders.
And it looks good, huh? Gives him a little needed character.
Come on, bring these guys along.
We got a special delivery to make.
[men grunting.]
Okay, let's try it one more time.
Look, you're not playing at a geriatrics ward dance here.
You are The Cave lns.
l want the song to begin with an explosion.
[crashing.]
Freeze, suckers! Brothers and sisters, we have arrived! l know we can make beautiful music together.
[cymbal crashing.]
What the hell is this? Got a special delivery for Kyle Mason.
You know, the mail must go through.
l hate barriers in communication.
[gun clicking.]
Whatever Winnetka is paying you l'll match it.
l'll double it.
l like mathematical progression but we're a little picky about who we work for.
That's right, sucker.
Real picky.
Now, there's two things.
One, l want you to lose your newly acquired desire to own Captain Winnetka's Wild West show.
And two, it is not wise to try to impersonate the A-Team.
That's us.
Now, if you can't remember what l told you we will abandon our quiet and peaceful demeanor and come back here and get rough.
Nobody comes into my place and threatens me.
Just telling you the facts, pal.
Okay, let's go.
[cymbal crashes.]
Whoa! How.
Oh, great wooden face! Your braves, led by Almighty Troubled Warrior Running Round scored a big victory today against pug face who talk with forked tongue.
Maybe we even get a picture in newspaper.
Hey, man, who are you talking to? lt's just a piece of wood! [laughs.]
Piece of wood.
No, a telephone pole is a piece of wood a toothpick is a piece of wood, but this, B.
A.
This is a priceless work of art.
lt is the essence, the manifestation of a great chief.
A hunter, a poet, a warrior.
This is the face that launched a thousand nickels.
Now, this is definitely going to hurt.
Did you have to use the word ''definitely''? Relax.
l've been mending skinned knees and broken bones and sore hooves since l can remember.
Hooves? Like in horses? Now, this is going to sting for a second.
[groaning.]
l really appreciate what you did today.
You know, you could have been killed.
l know.
Well, we're just soldiers doing a job.
Helping out people like us? Those in need.
(Hannibal) l hope we're not interrupting anything.
You couldn't come by two minutes ago when she was putting horse liniment on my face? Horse liniment? Figures.
l ran a little background on our friend Mason.
lnteresting.
Two arrests for smuggling drugs into the country, but no convictions.
l knew the minute l laid eyes on that cahoot he was walking on the wrong side of the law.
What does drug smuggling have to do with a Wild West show? Captain, you said that Mason didn't make any offer for your Wild West show until after you had booked your European tour, right? That's right.
What better cover for an overseas smuggling operation than a traveling Wild West show? Mason wasn't scared off? No.
He wants this show.
lf he can't get it he'll do anything to stop you from playing overseas in Europe.
That way, he can book one of his rock groups into your open play dates.
Either way he wins.
He tries.
We can expect something dangerous from him, most any time now.
You have a plan, Colonel? Well, kind of.
B.
A.
! (Hannibal) Captain, l went through your personnel records and guess who was the only man hired after lvy's column appeared in the paper? Our friend here.
You mean he's a spy? Mmm-hmm.
Sergeant Wilson, United States Army lntelligence.
We went through your wallet last night when you were sleeping, sonny.
[ululating.]
Me, big happy brave! Me get scalp today! Cool it, man.
He's my prisoner.
You'll never get out of here, Smith.
None of you will.
Really? Bring him along.
Col.
Lynch, it's Wilson.
l overheard Peck and Baracus talking.
They're expecting Smith to show up at 1 400 hours.
Good work, Sergeant.
We'll rendezvous at your position at 1 400 hours and grab Smith and the others.
Maintain your surveillance.
Yes, sir.
Captain! Alert our positions to move in on the A-Team according to plan on my command.
l want that camp sealed off tighter than an air chamber when we move in, Captain.
Yes, sir.
That doesn't give us much time.
lt gives us plenty of time to make up a welcome for Mason and his gorillas.
[hissing.]
All right, we're going to hit Winnetka's camp.
We're going to hit it hard.
l want the A-Team taken out.
When we leave that place the only thing l want to see standing are tent posts.
Got it? [engine starting.]
Boy, Hannibal, l hope you got this timed right down to the last second.
'Cause if you don't, we're going to get caught right between Col.
Lynch and Mason.
Right.
All right.
Hannibal! Mason's on his way.
Maybe five minutes behind us.
Okay, take your positions.
We got to take care of him before Lynch gets here.
Just like an old-fashioned showdown.
[sirens blaring.]
ls that Lynch? Lynch? See.
He's early.
Oh, wonderful.
All right, everybody into the tent.
Smith! (Hannibal) Welcome back, Lynch.
We've finally got you now.
Come on out.
Okay, here we come.
After them! [tires screeching.]
This is better than we planned.
Looks like the military is going to take out the A-Team for us.
Winnetka's camp is wide open.
Let's go down and take it apart.
[siren wailing.]
All right, the van's on its way.
l'm in pursuit.
Trap unit, prepare for action.
Unit three, fall in behind.
We have them, sir! The plan worked perfectly! We have the A-Team locked in the truck.
No one else could do it, Captain.
But l did.
l want this truck driven to the nearest army base under the tightest of security, Captain.
When we get through here, the only thing Winnetka's going to be able to peddle is ash.
lf you fellows are figuring on roasting marshmallows, l wouldn't.
You'd get burned.
l thought the army had you.
Yeah, so did they.
(Mason) Take him! [gun firing.]
Go on! He's in there somewhere! [gun firing.]
Big warrior say here hot tip for you.
Here second hot tip.
[groaning.]
[bell rings.]
Ding dong.
You're looking for me? Remind me to write to lvy.
Get him to print a retraction in his column.
l think it's time the true story was told.
Don't you? You just make sure he spells my name right.
Oh, man, cool it! Cool it? lt's easy for you to say, that because everybody knows who you are, but-- Ah, ah, ah.
Now.
You must remain our secret weapon.
l don't want to be a secret weapon.
l want to be an exposed weapon.
Yes, but listen who was the last male astronaut to go up in space? l don't know.
See? l mean, there was Sally Ride-- No, that's a girl.
She is, l know.
All right, now, who is the Unknown Soldier? l don't know.
See? What? There are great, famous but unknown heroes in life.
l see.
So, l can be a great.
Famous.
Famous, but unknown member of the A-Team.
Exactly.
Good work, Col.
Lynch.
Trapping the A-Team.
You pulled it off.
l don't have to tell you what this could mean to your career.
They were good, sir.
But the outcome was inevitable.
No one, not even the A-Team, can escape capture indefinitely.
This is Col.
Lynch.
You're surrounded, Smith.
l want you to come out of that van with your hands up or we will open fire.
You have exactly [guns cocking.]
Howdy! l don't understand.
The A-Team? lt's empty, Colonel.
Completely.
Royce, arrest them.
For what, Colonel? lmpersonating the A-Team? l want these two escorted off the base.
Take the van to the warehouse and lock it up.
[clears throat.]
l don't know what this is all about, Col.
Lynch but l don't find it very funny.
You told me you had the A-Team.
l don't understand.
General, it was a set up.
l want a full report of this incident on my desk and l want it Sir.
The van.
lt's them! Stop that van! [gun firing.]
[ululating.]
l don't believe it.
l love it when a plan comes together.
[laughs.]
Think you can take on B.
A.
Baracus? Somebody is going around saying they're the A-Team.
[ululating.]
He always go on like this? lt's like a old-fashioned showdown.
We are the A-Team.
[screaming.]
You must remain our secret weapon.
There's only one A-Team.
(male narrator) In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit.
These men promptly escaped from a maximum-security stockade to the Los Angeles underground.
Today, still wanted by the government they survive as soldiers of fortune.
If you have a problem, if no one else can help and if you can find them maybe you can hire the A-Team.
[gun firing.]
[gun firing.]
[glass shattering.]
l don't know what you're still practicing for, Carrie.
l doubt this show's going to go on.
[birds chirping.]
l just can't accept it, Dad.
l mean, already half our people have been scared off and the others.
l just don't know how much more they can take.
We can't do it, Carrie.
We're dead.
l mean, nobody can go up against the A-Team.
Dad, why are they doing it? Why is the A-Team working for a guy like Kyle Mason? l don't know.
Ever since Mason found out about our European tour and l refused to sell to him, why it's just been hell around here.
Carrie, l'm usually a fighter.
Me, too, Dad.
Now, we just can't give up.
We can't.
You know how much l want to take this show to Europe.
But it's just not going to happen.
l mean, there comes a time when you know it's over.
l hate them for what they're doing to you.
[hooves clopping.]
[horse neighing.]
[tires screeching.]
Dad, it's the A-Team.
[people screaming.]
[horses neighing.]
Are you out of your mind? Firing a weapon around all these people and animals is just plain stupid! lt's just my way of getting your attention.
Yeah, we like people to listen.
What do you think you're doing? You just get out of here.
You're trespassing.
You got spunk.
l like that.
Maybe you could join the A-Team.
[spits.]
That's what l think of the A-Team.
Why, you.
[grunting.]
l'm going to get you for this! You're going to pay for this! You're-- [grunts.]
[Winnetka coughing.]
[groaning.]
Think you can take on B.
A.
Baracus? [grunting.]
[grunting.]
Anybody else want to be a hero? [birds chirping.]
[groaning.]
This is Mason's last offer.
$10,000 for your Wild West Show.
That's very generous.
l'd take it, if l were you.
l thought the A-Team was supposed to help people.
Your boss here went and got himself snakebit.
(Parker) lf you people were smart you'd start looking for another job while you're still able to.
[tires screeching.]
(Face) You're going to love this place.
No, no, the food's terrific.
You hang out here a lot? Hang out here? l practically own the place.
Here, have a seat.
Yeah, you know, it's a home away from home.
Most of the guys here are old war buddies of mine.
Hi, Sarge.
Hey, Peck, go find yourself another place to chow down in, huh? We don't want your kind around here.
Old war buddies, huh? lsn't he great? Yeah, l keep telling him, with a delivery like that he ought to be in the movies.
Hey, Sarge, do your Bogart impression.
You ought to be more careful with the company you keep.
He's a bum.
That's funny.
You know, you're a funny guy, Sarge.
You don't see me laughing, do you, Peck? l think we better go.
You want to tell me what's going on here? This.
Yesterday's newspaper.
lt seems you made Joe lvy's column.
Anybody here want to meet a prized creep? All right, keep at him.
Keep at him.
Look out! Watch out, all right, pretty move.
All right, now.
All right, that was a good shot.
But we're still going to practice more.
We can do better than that.
Remember, whenever you get caught in a jam pass the ball off.
Don't always go for that fancy passing through a man's legs, all right? Hey! What you guys doing? Come on, get some of this education.
What's wrong? Hannibal, do you believe this? l read it.
l believe it.
(B.
A.
) This is bad, Hannibal.
Real bad.
Somebody's going around saying they're the A-Team.
There's only one A-Team.
People are starting to believe what they've been reading.
l know, B.
A.
, l know.
''You've heard of them, the legendary A-Team.
''Three fugitives, alone and on the run ''chased by the military police wherever they go ''and yet these same men have found the time, over and over again ''to go to the aid of those in need ''the helpless and the oppressed.
''But ''is this yesterday's news? ''Have our modern day Robin Hoods gone sour? Or is this just a case of the leopard revealing its true spots?'' You know, somebody thinks it's good business to make the A-Team look bad.
These suckers gonna look bad when l get through with them.
Hannibal, you don't suppose the military came up with the idea of another A-Team in order to draw us out? l don't know.
But they'd try to use it either way.
l say we go down to that Wild West show that lvy writes about and flatten those phonies.
B.
A.
, l couldn't have said it better myself.
Face, spring Murdock out of the hospital.
Right.
We're on our way to Points West.
Yeah! Thank heavens.
Thank heavens l got here in time.
l'm Major Waldren, U.
S.
Army, Department of Toxic Waste and Medical Applications.
(Face) Thank goodness you haven't opened that door.
Door? What door? Here, put these on.
Luckily, we managed to isolate the spill-off.
Of course, we're not sure how much of the radiation is coming from the x-ray isotopes.
lsotopes? Yeah.
The boots, the boots, quickly! Before the water leaks through the door.
Major Waldren, l don't know what's going on here, sir.
Well, we have a busted water pipe in the medical x-ray room.
Yeah, it's water everywhere.
Flooded Section 18, Area Eight.
That's Captain Murdock's quarters, l believe.
Let me see, here, yeah.
But, Major, you can't go in.
Shh! Shh! Uh-huh.
(Face) Oh, no, yeah, yeah.
[sighs.]
Just what l was afraid of.
[crackling.]
[water running.]
Don't get off the bed! See, our feeling is most of the radiation is confined to the water.
So minimum contact shouldn't be too dangerous.
But just remember keep all the hallway doors closed.
Keep everyone out of the corridor.
Can l see the keys, please? Captain Murdock shouldn't be in Decontamination more than three days.
Now, listen [keys jingling.]
if nothing happens to this radiation badge that is if it doesn't change color that means you haven't been exposed.
You may report to work tomorrow.
But in the meantime, hush-hush.
Hush-hush.
Right.
But if it changes-- Now, go, go, go, go.
Quickly! Face, have you read the newspaper lately? Murdoch, will you get in the wheelchair? Have you read the newspaper lately? Will you get in the wheelchair? Have you read the newspaper lately? What? l want you to listen to this, all right.
''The legendary A-Team three wanted fugitives alone and on the run.
'' Three.
Three.
Did you get that word? Three.
Face, l am just as much a member of the A-Team as you are but my name, my name's not in this newspaper.
ls there something l'm doing wrong? Well, look, Murdock, technically you're not on the run with the rest of us.
That's the whole reason l have to come in here and scam you out every time.
lf the military thought you were one of us they'd be on top of you l guess so.
But, you know it kind of hurts you when you never get your name in the paper.
l mean, it makes you feel like, kinda like.
You know, you feel like an oddball.
Now, Murdock, you'll always be one of us.
The question is, which one.
Did you remember to turn off the faucet? l knew there was something l forgot to do.
[car doors closing.]
Sir! [sighs.]
Do you have anything to report, Sergeant? The fake A-Team showed up this morning and leaned real hard on Winnetka and his daughter to sell.
l am not interested in the fake A-Team.
The military gave me one more shot at the real A-Team and l am not going to fail.
No sign of them yet, sir.
Do you think they'll really show up, Colonel? l mean, they have to know it could be a trap.
They'll show up.
lt hasn't been that long that l've forgotten how Smith thinks.
Trap or no trap they'll show up to set the record straight.
And when they do [grinding teeth.]
they're mine.
You're looking real good, Jimmy.
That little pony is going to work out fine.
[truck door closing.]
Howdy.
Howdy.
What can l do for you boys? Well, we're looking for the gentleman who ramrods this gala.
Well, you're looking at him.
Winnetka's the name.
Rufus Cantrell, sir.
And l'm proud to make your acquaintance.
lt's always a pleasure to meet a true son of the Old West.
Got some mighty fine animals in there, sir.
Yes, mighty fine.
My lone lndian brave and l [hissing.]
are considering a jaunt along the sawdust trail.
Looking for work, are you? Me and my brave are looking for gainful employment.
l lend authenticity by singing some Western ditties.
[mumbling.]
Some fancy gunplay and some slight of hands with my deck of cards.
My brave, he does an interesting war dance.
[ululating.]
And, tricks with his tomahawk.
[ululating.]
He talks to it, too.
(Lynch) The lndian's definitely not one of them.
He's too tall to be Peck.
[sighs.]
What about the old man? Could it be Hannibal in disguise? lt's too hard to tell.
We can't move in until all the A-Team is together.
We make a run on one or two of them and the rest will never show.
l want them all.
lt hasn't been easy but you know, one thing about rodeoing once you get a taste, you can't give it up.
Yeah, tell me about it.
Yeah, it's been rodeos for me all the way.
Of course, there was that one stunt in Monte Carlo l did as a racecar driver.
Monte Carlo? Yeah.
Wow! l've never even been out of the United States.
Of course, we were planning on touring through Europe but it looks like that's not gonna happen.
Cheer up.
lt's not Monte Carlo but we could buy a brew and pizza, in Pomona.
[exclaiming.]
You make me laugh.
lt's the feet.
[grunts.]
Boys, l got to be honest with you.
The reason l got openings is because l've had a lot of trouble around here.
Well trouble has never hesitated or jarred Rufus Cantrell.
[ululating.]
Mighty warrior, where the mountain touches the sky where the rivers run deep the trees, they bend southward toward, toward Santa Monica.
All the signs are there, oh, great one.
The mighty buffalo shall return.
[ululating.]
He always go on like this? Ever since he lost his other feather.
Here comes the new rodeo clown now.
That's my daughter, Carrie, with him.
Mmm-hmm.
Hi, Dad.
So, what do you think of our new clown? (Winnetka) Fine, fine.
l want you all to meet two more of our new performers.
Mr.
Cantrell, and his brave, Mr.
l am sorry, l never did get your name.
l am, Oh, Great Mighty Troubled Warrior Running Round.
Well, l've got a rodeo to run.
l'll see you all in the mess tent for lunch.
[sighing.]
Cute trick.
Yeah.
Look, Hannibal, l'm not exactly delirious about all this.
lt's not going to put me on any best-dressed list.
Yeah, but it's a great cover.
l got a feeling that Lynch is watching us every minute.
Hey, Faceman, how do l look? Like a million, Chief.
l'm not a chief yet.
l'm a warrior.
Well, now, we're all in.
What about B.
A.
? Yeah, well, actually there were two openings.
One was rodeo clown, and the other was.
[thudding.]
B.
A.
, a shovel, now, that's no disguise.
l don't wear disguises, Hannibal.
Not even a feather for your hair? Get this crazy fool away from me.
You ain't no real lndian.
Real lndians don't look and act like a crazy fool.
Look, the main thing is not to get spotted standing all together, Face.
B.
A! B.
A.
, look how about this hat? You could play like you were a cowboy and then it'd be just you and me.
Cowboys and lndians! l'm going to play stagecoach, fool and run you over if you don't shut up.
[grunts.]
[tires screeching.]
[birds twittering.]
[wind whistling.]
This five-ton baby hits she'll take out half the camp.
An accident like that'll close down the show real fast.
[laughing.]
Like a cannonball through a batch of matchsticks.
All right, let's go.
Fire it up.
l'll spot you.
Easy.
Lock the wheel.
Come on, folks.
lrish stew today.
Let's get it while it's hot, Peck.
Hannibal! Warn the people.
[tires screeching.]
That was incredible! Just incredible! Your quick thinking saved a lot of people from getting hurt.
Well, somebody is awful anxious to put you out of business, Captain.
Well, l didn't think anybody could stand up to the A-Team.
Glad to hear you say that, ma'am, because that's why we came here.
This is B.
A.
Baracus this is Templeton Peck, Faceman.
This is Howlin' Mad Murdock and l'm Hannibal Smith.
We are the A-Team.
By the looks on your faces I can tell I'm not going to like what I'm going to hear.
We did like you said, Mason.
(Parker) Except some guys showed up and stopped the truck.
The way they handled themselves, they're pros.
Pros? What the hell did I do? Hire myself a bunch of amateurs? You wanted us to lean on Winnetka and we leaned on him.
Hard.
Obviously not hard enough.
l paid you clowns for results.
Winnetka was supposed to think he was coming up against the A-Team.
And what do l have to show for it? Nothing.
Parker, come here.
The cops are cracking down on my European connections.
l need Winnetka's overseas tour dates.
A Wild West show is a perfect cover to pick up drugs.
lt's just like a mail route.
But Winnetka is counting on his advance ticket sales to meet his next payroll.
l want you to see that they never get to him.
You got it? l am as much a member of the A-Team as you are and my name was not in that paper.
Now, did you hear Hannibal introduce me as a member of the A-Team? Well, l think the people have a right to know all of the facts.
They should know who l am.
Murdock we know you're a member of the A-Team.
That's the important thing.
Besides, take it from me.
Fame is just a fleeting shadow.
Just a passing breeze in the storm.
[birds chirping.]
[ululating.]
We will be able to get out of this, won't we, Peck? Of course we will.
You're a fighter, remember? lt's going to be rough.
Guys like Mason hate taking no for an answer.
But why would a rock promoter go to all the trouble of taking over a Wild West show? lt doesn't make sense.
Look, if Mason and his playmates show up again we'll be ready for them.
No one's going to force your father into selling his show.
lt's a dream come true for him, you know.
All his life he's been playing one-street towns.
Half of them not even on the map.
Now he's got a chance to tour the capitals of Europe.
Well, no one's going to stop him.
That's a promise.
Okay? Okay.
You still think the military's out there watching you? Yeah.
They're out there somewhere.
You spend your life on the run, you learn to trust in the things you can't see.
Excuse me.
Captain Winnetka told me to store these away.
Yeah, sure.
lt won't take but a second.
Are you sure it's him, Wilson? Positive, Colonel.
lt's Peck, all right.
He was disguised as one of the rodeo clowns.
Okay.
So now we know Peck is here, too.
Baracus is here.
We have the two of them.
lt's just a matter of Smith.
l'm almost positive Smith is here already, sir.
Until we're certain he's in the camp and we can positively identify him we can't afford to move in and risk revealing our position, now, can we? Just continue to report for the next two hours.
Yes, sir.
Smith, after all this time.
[tires screeching.]
That wouldn't happen to be the ticket receipts, would it, Captain? Looks like l got a welcoming committee.
[chuckling.]
You sure do, pop.
Now, why don't l just take that mail sack with those checks in it.
l wish you hadn't said that.
First, l'd like you to meet the real A-Team.
Second, you see that? That is a cheap cigar.
Face, do you see me? [groaning.]
[screaming.]
[groaning.]
Hannibal, l can't find-- Where, where.
Murdock, they don't have a ''you.
'' You fools! You didn't bring your Murdock.
What is the matter, phony Face couldn't break him out? Hannibal, this is the third time this month l've got hit in the eye.
l'm beginning to lose my sense of humor.
Face, a little ice will do wonders.
And it looks good, huh? Gives him a little needed character.
Come on, bring these guys along.
We got a special delivery to make.
[men grunting.]
Okay, let's try it one more time.
Look, you're not playing at a geriatrics ward dance here.
You are The Cave lns.
l want the song to begin with an explosion.
[crashing.]
Freeze, suckers! Brothers and sisters, we have arrived! l know we can make beautiful music together.
[cymbal crashing.]
What the hell is this? Got a special delivery for Kyle Mason.
You know, the mail must go through.
l hate barriers in communication.
[gun clicking.]
Whatever Winnetka is paying you l'll match it.
l'll double it.
l like mathematical progression but we're a little picky about who we work for.
That's right, sucker.
Real picky.
Now, there's two things.
One, l want you to lose your newly acquired desire to own Captain Winnetka's Wild West show.
And two, it is not wise to try to impersonate the A-Team.
That's us.
Now, if you can't remember what l told you we will abandon our quiet and peaceful demeanor and come back here and get rough.
Nobody comes into my place and threatens me.
Just telling you the facts, pal.
Okay, let's go.
[cymbal crashes.]
Whoa! How.
Oh, great wooden face! Your braves, led by Almighty Troubled Warrior Running Round scored a big victory today against pug face who talk with forked tongue.
Maybe we even get a picture in newspaper.
Hey, man, who are you talking to? lt's just a piece of wood! [laughs.]
Piece of wood.
No, a telephone pole is a piece of wood a toothpick is a piece of wood, but this, B.
A.
This is a priceless work of art.
lt is the essence, the manifestation of a great chief.
A hunter, a poet, a warrior.
This is the face that launched a thousand nickels.
Now, this is definitely going to hurt.
Did you have to use the word ''definitely''? Relax.
l've been mending skinned knees and broken bones and sore hooves since l can remember.
Hooves? Like in horses? Now, this is going to sting for a second.
[groaning.]
l really appreciate what you did today.
You know, you could have been killed.
l know.
Well, we're just soldiers doing a job.
Helping out people like us? Those in need.
(Hannibal) l hope we're not interrupting anything.
You couldn't come by two minutes ago when she was putting horse liniment on my face? Horse liniment? Figures.
l ran a little background on our friend Mason.
lnteresting.
Two arrests for smuggling drugs into the country, but no convictions.
l knew the minute l laid eyes on that cahoot he was walking on the wrong side of the law.
What does drug smuggling have to do with a Wild West show? Captain, you said that Mason didn't make any offer for your Wild West show until after you had booked your European tour, right? That's right.
What better cover for an overseas smuggling operation than a traveling Wild West show? Mason wasn't scared off? No.
He wants this show.
lf he can't get it he'll do anything to stop you from playing overseas in Europe.
That way, he can book one of his rock groups into your open play dates.
Either way he wins.
He tries.
We can expect something dangerous from him, most any time now.
You have a plan, Colonel? Well, kind of.
B.
A.
! (Hannibal) Captain, l went through your personnel records and guess who was the only man hired after lvy's column appeared in the paper? Our friend here.
You mean he's a spy? Mmm-hmm.
Sergeant Wilson, United States Army lntelligence.
We went through your wallet last night when you were sleeping, sonny.
[ululating.]
Me, big happy brave! Me get scalp today! Cool it, man.
He's my prisoner.
You'll never get out of here, Smith.
None of you will.
Really? Bring him along.
Col.
Lynch, it's Wilson.
l overheard Peck and Baracus talking.
They're expecting Smith to show up at 1 400 hours.
Good work, Sergeant.
We'll rendezvous at your position at 1 400 hours and grab Smith and the others.
Maintain your surveillance.
Yes, sir.
Captain! Alert our positions to move in on the A-Team according to plan on my command.
l want that camp sealed off tighter than an air chamber when we move in, Captain.
Yes, sir.
That doesn't give us much time.
lt gives us plenty of time to make up a welcome for Mason and his gorillas.
[hissing.]
All right, we're going to hit Winnetka's camp.
We're going to hit it hard.
l want the A-Team taken out.
When we leave that place the only thing l want to see standing are tent posts.
Got it? [engine starting.]
Boy, Hannibal, l hope you got this timed right down to the last second.
'Cause if you don't, we're going to get caught right between Col.
Lynch and Mason.
Right.
All right.
Hannibal! Mason's on his way.
Maybe five minutes behind us.
Okay, take your positions.
We got to take care of him before Lynch gets here.
Just like an old-fashioned showdown.
[sirens blaring.]
ls that Lynch? Lynch? See.
He's early.
Oh, wonderful.
All right, everybody into the tent.
Smith! (Hannibal) Welcome back, Lynch.
We've finally got you now.
Come on out.
Okay, here we come.
After them! [tires screeching.]
This is better than we planned.
Looks like the military is going to take out the A-Team for us.
Winnetka's camp is wide open.
Let's go down and take it apart.
[siren wailing.]
All right, the van's on its way.
l'm in pursuit.
Trap unit, prepare for action.
Unit three, fall in behind.
We have them, sir! The plan worked perfectly! We have the A-Team locked in the truck.
No one else could do it, Captain.
But l did.
l want this truck driven to the nearest army base under the tightest of security, Captain.
When we get through here, the only thing Winnetka's going to be able to peddle is ash.
lf you fellows are figuring on roasting marshmallows, l wouldn't.
You'd get burned.
l thought the army had you.
Yeah, so did they.
(Mason) Take him! [gun firing.]
Go on! He's in there somewhere! [gun firing.]
Big warrior say here hot tip for you.
Here second hot tip.
[groaning.]
[bell rings.]
Ding dong.
You're looking for me? Remind me to write to lvy.
Get him to print a retraction in his column.
l think it's time the true story was told.
Don't you? You just make sure he spells my name right.
Oh, man, cool it! Cool it? lt's easy for you to say, that because everybody knows who you are, but-- Ah, ah, ah.
Now.
You must remain our secret weapon.
l don't want to be a secret weapon.
l want to be an exposed weapon.
Yes, but listen who was the last male astronaut to go up in space? l don't know.
See? l mean, there was Sally Ride-- No, that's a girl.
She is, l know.
All right, now, who is the Unknown Soldier? l don't know.
See? What? There are great, famous but unknown heroes in life.
l see.
So, l can be a great.
Famous.
Famous, but unknown member of the A-Team.
Exactly.
Good work, Col.
Lynch.
Trapping the A-Team.
You pulled it off.
l don't have to tell you what this could mean to your career.
They were good, sir.
But the outcome was inevitable.
No one, not even the A-Team, can escape capture indefinitely.
This is Col.
Lynch.
You're surrounded, Smith.
l want you to come out of that van with your hands up or we will open fire.
You have exactly [guns cocking.]
Howdy! l don't understand.
The A-Team? lt's empty, Colonel.
Completely.
Royce, arrest them.
For what, Colonel? lmpersonating the A-Team? l want these two escorted off the base.
Take the van to the warehouse and lock it up.
[clears throat.]
l don't know what this is all about, Col.
Lynch but l don't find it very funny.
You told me you had the A-Team.
l don't understand.
General, it was a set up.
l want a full report of this incident on my desk and l want it Sir.
The van.
lt's them! Stop that van! [gun firing.]
[ululating.]
l don't believe it.
l love it when a plan comes together.
[laughs.]