The Epic Tales of Captain Underpants (2018) s03e09 Episode Script

1 This is George Beard and Harold Hutchins.
George is the kid on the left with the tie and the flattop.
Harold is on the right with the T-shirt and the bad haircut.
Remember that, now.
They're preparing for tonight's campfire storytelling-a-thon.
And the pressure is on because everyone expects their story to be the scariest.
Your story's gonna be the scariest! I'm a puddle of anticipation.
Your comics are stellar, so I bet your story'll be even better.
My expectations are sky-high like a fighter jet.
Danger zone! Don't blow it.
They're looking for the perfect story and not finding it.
What about a vampire who sells cars that don't work? A scampire! And instead of blood, he drinks ham smoothies.
A scamhampire! And instead of flying, he travels on a sheep.
A scamhamlambpire! Ugh, garbage! What's wrong with us? It's cool, man.
We got all night to find the perfect campfire story.
-The sun! -My eyes! - Hmm? - Mm-mm.
-Rawr! -Mm-mm.
Mehotep Lahoton.
-Huh? -Mm-mm.
They were straight-up stuck until Sophie One, your flossing was flawless.
Other Sophie, you're so bad at teeth, you're gonna get jacked by Gumbalina Toothington.
Gumbalina Toothington? Gumbalina Toothington.
Gumbalina Toothington? Gum-bal-- So George and Harold make comic books - We're cool! - Me, too! Now they're summering at summer camp And Mr.
Krupp is, too -Blah, blah, blah! - Once they used the hypno-ring And first they made him dance Then accidentally, kinda on purpose Turned him into Captain Underpants Tra-la-la! With a snap, he's the Captain Flying through the trees And don't forget when he gets wet - You're sure to feel the squeeze -Blah, blah, blah! Put it all together What could possibly go wrong? Now this is the end Of the Captain Underpants song! - By George Beard and Harold Hutchins - Tra-la-camp! The Ghastly Danger of the Ghost Dentist! Chapter 1: Tooth or Dare.
George and Harold were intrigued by the legend of Gumbalina Toothington, so they asked Jessica to drill down for more info.
Unfortunately, Jessica was not a reliable source.
Gumbalina wasn't just a dentist in dinosaur times, she also invented vampire fangs or something.
That's what my grandmar said, but she's old.
Yeah, we'll take it from here.
According to the Lake Summer Camp Tribune, Gumbalina Toothington was an 18th-century dentist who was shunned for her radical tooth craft.
And the Lake Summer Camp Howler says the townspeople exiled her.
Man, the only thing worse than dentists are ghosts.
So, what would you say if the ghost of Gumbalina still roamed these woods searching for teeth? I'd say we've got a ghost story.
Even better.
We've got a ghost dentist story.
-Or should we get a werewolf? -Maybe for backup.
This is our night.
Listen up! This is my night.
Ow! Hot mic! Hot mic! Anyway, after all of you bore us with your subpar stories, I'll bring the house down with a real spine-tingler! I wrote it myself.
I'm the scariest man alive.
Ahh! Because no one brings the scare like Count Kruppula.
That's-- It's me.
Ow! Somebody ice that mic! Too hot! -This is his night, all right.
-I thought it was our night.
It is because we're gonna turn his hair white.
But he doesn't have any hair.
He has one hair, and we're gonna turn it white.
I'm going to turn it white! With a techno-morrow-thriller inspired by the sci-fi series Blight Future.
-You've never seen it.
-Yeah, we have.
It's that show where everyone's miserable in the future all the time.
Want to drive our hover-buggies, talk about dystopia, and take pictures with our camera eyes, or whatever? What's the point? Hover-buggy.
You don't get it.
Nor will you get my story, which will end you! If we don't get it, how are we gonna be scared? Fine! I'll dumb it down! I actually like Blight Future.
-It's thought-provoking.
-And original.
And it's gonna win best sci-fi show at this Thumbs-Uppy Awards.
Hover-buggy.
"Campfire story tellathon tonight.
Starring Mr.
Krupp.
Bring extra pants.
" "Park your fart car in the toilet.
Then sing, bro.
" -Perfect.
-So good.
Chapter 2: A Scare to Remember.
And the duchess looked in the mirror, and she was all, "Oh, my Gar, I'm more beautiful than ever!" And then the "creachar" crept closer, its shadow all shaggy and stuff.
And the duchess flipped on the candle, and was all "What a hideous creachar!" And the creachar was Other Sophie! 'Cause Other Sophie doesn't brush her har, ever! Who's next? Quicker we get through your awful stories, the quicker we get to the good story.
My story! And then the robotics fused with his human DNA, and there was no telling where the man ended and the robot began because it was the singularity! -The singular-- -What's that? Are you joking? It's when robots take over! -This is terrifying! -Not really.
You're all wrong! Blight Future is a groundbreaking show! Blight Future-- is that one of those stores that only sells lamps like Lamps Only? Going out of business! Whoa! Whoa! This thing is making me sweat more than usual, and that's a lot! Get on with it! Because even a silver bullet can't stop werewolves from falling in love.
Bittersweet ending! Next! -Next! -Do anyone else's knees feel hot? Next! Okay, enough garbage.
Time to light this fire.
-We already lit the fire.
-Yeah, it's burning right there.
Zip it! Okay.
You guys are in for a real treat.
Two tigers tasting tapioca.
Wither, weather, wonder, wander.
I am a mountain! Hoogah! "It was a dark and stormy--" Oh, that's I didn't need those.
They were, they were just for show.
There wasn't even anything written.
I was-- No, that's fine.
So, anyway, there was a place, right? And-- And that place was dark, and there was, uh, something, uh, scary.
And there was a shark, uh, guy, and then a knife, ahem, guy.
And the shark guy said, uh, he said "I'm gonna eat, uh, somebody!" And then the knife guy, you know, was like, "Wuh-oh.
No, I think I'm gonna, you know He-- I-- You know-- 'Cause he had already been on the other side" Come on, Krupp, you're blowing this.
"And then, um, uh-oh, I lost my keys!" Whew! Is it hot or-- Oh.
My heart is beating like a shoe in a dryer, right? But pretty scary stuff.
I mean, real scary so far, right? This actually makes me feel better about being stuck in a robot shell.
Ugh, this is the saddest thing ever.
Sadder than Other Sophie's birthday party.
I'm, like, leaving.
Thanks for your birthday presents.
No, no, no, wait! Wait, wait, wait! I'm not done, I'm not done! 'Cause there were also skeletons, right? And-- And a coffin! Oh, and cobwebs! Oh-ho-ho! So many cobwebs! Those are just Halloween decorations.
No! I'm telling the best campfire story ever! And you're in shock, obviously.
That's why it just feels like this is an absolute train wreck.
What was that? Potpourri! What was that, indeed! Oh, scented candle! Maybe it was just the wind.
Or perhaps it was the restless ghost of Gumbalina Toothington! I'm not afraid of ghosts.
Ah! And I'm not afraid of dentists.
Ah! Long ago, in the dental dark ages, Gumbalina Toothington wanted people to brush, floss and get biannual checkups 'cause teeth were pretty jacked back then.
The townsfolk were all, "What's better than ribbon candy and maple taffy? Nothin'!" So they cast Gumbalina out into the cold, dark woods.
And Gumbalina vowed revenge! She built a secret bunker full of diabolical dental appliances, including the Dentalmighty, the ultimate dental weapon! But the townsfolk found out and they sealed Gumbalina in her bunker, never to be seen again.
Well we found that bunker, and we went inside it! But it was empty.
Or was it? It-- It was.
- But then we heard a noise.
-And it sounded just like that! -Like a dental drill! Let's get out of har! It's too late! She's here! Gumbalina Toothington! Told you they'd buy it.
- Now, that was a ghost story.
- All right, time to get me down.
This harness isn't getting any looser.
Oh, my Gar! Scariest story ever! My grandmar is a bad storyteller.
It was as scary as a story without werewolves can be.
Full moon! I was so scared, I forgot I'm trapped in a robo sarcophagus.
Seriously, get me down.
-Think Krupp and Melvin will be mad? -Nah! Everyone loves being put in a blind panic by a ghost story.
Please, take my teeth and let my gums serve you! It's me, you jiggling bowl of fear pudding! Yeah! Oh, no! Gumbalina got the others.
You can hear their screams of pain.
Well, better them than us.
-Let's not waste their sacrifice.
-No! They're not screaming, they're laughing.
My name is Gumbalina And I'm not real - But Mr.
Krupp and Melvin ran away - They tricked us! And now they're mocking us in a catchy song.
Not for long! -Wait! -Ah! They don't know that we know their Gumbalina ghost is a fake.
Right.
Wait.
What do we know they don't know we know they know we know? Our revenge will be to scare them with a real Gumbalina ghost! Right.
So you have one? Do I have a ghost? Is that a real question? No, but I will have one.
The Ghosteroven 2000.
A machine that can create a synthetic ghost out of aged DNA.
-Any questions? -Uh, yes.
This bagel is frozen.
-Do I have time to defrost it? -No! Then I need to locate Gumbalina Toothington's secret bunker in the woods.
Ugh, can I stop digging so I can find a microwave for this bagel? No! Then I need to find a relic containing a remnant of Gumbalina's DNA.
-Like this? -Yes, those dentures should suffice.
Hey, what's this huge hunk of junk? "Den-tal-might-y.
" -Think it can heat up a bagel? -No! Next we need to electromagnifypulsitrate the harvested DNA sample into a simulated holobiospectral state with the Ghosterovento 2000 to create an artificial apparition.
Can I piggyback my bagel in there? My bagel! Rise, Gumbalina! Rise! Behold the ghost of Gumbalina Toothington! Ah! Ghost plus dentist! Overkill! How can you be scared? You knew I was doing this.
-You were with me the whole time.
-But I wasn't paying attention.
-I be the ghost of Gumbalina-- -Yeah, yeah, I covered that.
And I made you, so now I need a favor.
Oh, doth this favor involve teeth? I guess it could.
Then a favor shall you have.
And teeth shall I have.
-We did it! -We? Is it done yet? -I'm starving.
-Patience.
Your suit cooks slower than a fire, but it's an even heat, so it's worth it.
We got Krupp and Melvin good.
-Think they'll want payback? -Of course.
Their hatred for us gives their lives purpose, so there's a good chance Melvin altered a toaster oven to electromagnifypulsitrate harvested DNA from Gumbalina into a simulated holobiospectral state, creating an artificial apparition to scare us.
Oh, and Krupp may be losing a battle of wits with a frozen bagel.
-How do you know all that? -Melvin butt-dialed me.
Mm, my bagel.
- So much gluten.
- How can you eat that bagel? - Ugh! It was on the ground! - Still good! Melvin thinks he can scare us with a toaster ghost? - Not on my watch.
- Nope.
Preemptive comic strike.
Chapter 3: Captain Underpants and the Ghost Dentist.
By George and Harold.
So, once there were these ghost experts, Mr.
Mupp and Krelvin, and they came to town and warned everyone that, like, Gumbalina Toothington, a giant ghost dentist, was on a tooth rampage.
And the ghost experts pulled out cans of BooBeGone ghost repellent.
One spray, and goodbye ghosty.
Only 39,99.
And get free ghost goggles.
No! But the town was all, "Ghosts are only real in movies," so the ghost experts left.
But then, Gumbalina Toothington showed up and menaced the town so bad, the hot dog place had to close early and school was canceled till it wasn't.
So the townspeople called the ghost experts back and threw money at them-- ka-ching, clank, kachung-- to buy BooBeGone like the world was ending and sprayed it everywhere.
It smelled like cinnamon, which was good unless you hate cinnamon.
But Gumbalina came back anyway and was all, "Smells great, but you're gonna need a lot more BooBeGone to get rid of me.
" Luckily, Captain Underpants' super smell picked up the cinnamon a hundred miles away and he flew in 'cause cinnamon buns, "Tra-la-licious! Where the buns at?" And Gumbalina revved her dental drill, zz, zz, drill noise, and was like, "Do you know the drill? Your teeth are about to!" Captain Underpants was all, "No! I need my teeth to chew cinnamon buns!" So he took out his undie chucks, which are nunchucks made of undies, and twirled them.
He hit himself four times, "Ow, ow, ow, ow!" Then knocked Gumbalina down, and Gumbalina split in half.
But instead of ghost guts spilling out, it was the ghost experts.
Only they weren't experts, they were conmen, and their BooBeGone was just air freshener-- chh, chh.
And the town was all, "We knew ghosts weren't real.
This isn't a movie.
" So everyone celebrated, and Captain Underpants ate a can of BooBeGone, which was like a cinnamon bun, but crunchy.
Crunch, crunch, broken teeth.
Okay, the end.
Chapter 4: Nothing Compares to Chew.
Behold, wood ticks! You cowered before a false ghost! Now you will kneel before the real ghost of Gumbalina Toothington! No, please! Take their teeth and let me chew for you! Not you.
Them! Wait Hey, Melvin, Mr.
Krupp, grab a comic and a slice on a stick.
Sorry if we scared you.
We were just having a laugh.
Oh, you're sorry, all right, because ghost Gumbalina is upon you! I said, Gumbalina is upon you! - Could you? - I'll get her.
Hey, ghost lady, you're on! I could've done that.
You sugar-swilling, licorice-licking tooth traitors.
You be unworthy of yon teeth.
Worthy I will make ye, for the teethening is upon thee.
So fake.
Whoa, it's like this comic told the future.
Prophecy with pictures! Hey, Melvin, when you're done with that trick, can you get me out of this robot suit? It feels like it's becoming a part of me.
The singularity! Wait, why aren't you afraid of the ghost? Why aren't you very afraid? Because you're predictable, Melvin.
And you butt-dialed us, so we heard your whole plan.
Decorative wicker? No, thanks.
Ye time for talk be over.
Ye time for teeth be at hand.
Thou hast forsaken yon dental duties, so minister your mandibles, I must.
Personal dental cages? We didn't approve that.
Wait, is this still fake? 'Cause it feels kind of real.
Mixed messages.
Come on, Melvin.
Dental torture's just desperate.
It's over.
I'm not doing this! She's doing it! -'Cause you're telling her to.
-No, he's not.
Seriously, she's a rogue ghost! -A rogue ghost you're controlling.
-No, he's not.
That ghost was its own boss the moment the toaster went "ding.
" -Not buying it.
-No? Watch this! Gumbalina, as your creator, I command you to stop at once! See? It's like I'm not even here.
-You buying it now? -Getting there.
-And sold.
-And goodbye.
If ye fear your teethening, ye be right.
Yon grills be mine forevermore.
After ye complete ye new patient paperwork.
Ah! Paperwork! Can I borrow a pen? Any last words? -Nope, no words.
-Just snaps.
Tra-la-lady ghost! I'm scared of those.
See ya later.
No! Captain Underpants, we need you to fight her! -I ain't a-facin' no ghost.
-You have to! Okay.
Open wide! Ah, your teeth are most foul! Drilleth and filleth each one, I must.
Oh, you're a dentist? Those are even worse than ghosts.
They're almost as bad as floss.
I'm out.
-No, you're in! -Okay.
Ah! Tra-la-la! Chapter 5: The Incredibly Graphic Violence Chapter, presented in Scare-O-Rama, because getting scared can't hurt you.
Unless your heart stops.
That's bad.
I'm not scared.
I just like breathing this fast.
Whoa! Scare me once, shame on you.
Scare me twice and-- Ah, I'm scared again! I gotta stop walking alone in the woods at night.
Ah! Head-butt! I'm doing it! I'm beating a ghost and a dentist! I'm unstoppable! She's gone! That was way easier than I expected.
You guys got any shark guys or knife guys for me to take down? 'Cause I saved them front row seats to the gun show.
And the bun show.
-Get it? -Afraid so.
How could we not? Hey, if you beat Gumbalina, how come all those guys are still in dental cages? And why is the ground rumbling? A robo ghost dentist? -I'm out! -No, you've gotta stop her! Okay, but I want a raise.
I shall not floss! Ooh, marshmallow.
Ow! Hot, hot! And ashy.
Ye teeth be beyond salvation.
Oh, extract them all, I must.
That sounds painful.
Hey, that's my sweet tooth! Oh, that's my puddin' tooth! Ow! That's my donut tooth! We've gotta stop her before she gets to his cotton candy tooth.
-Yeah, that's his favorite tooth.
-Follow my lead! Hey, ghost lady DDS! You like teeth? Well, you missed our chompers.
- Untrue! - Hey! No tooth shall I spare.
-Now what? -No idea.
Seriously? That was your plan? Ooh, I got it! -Run! -Now you're just winging it.
Chapter 6: Wince and Split.
-We're gonna lose her! -No way she can catch up now.
Whoa! -Since when is there a cliff here? -Yeah, feels like a cheat.
Sealed be ye dental fate for ye teeth shall inherit the drill! Sit tight, boys.
I'll save you.
Great, so we'll just Ye teeth, they be clean like a hatchling babe on a dewy heather.
If that's a good thing, yeah.
-We brush twice a day.
-And floss.
Dental hygiene has come a long way since olden times.
Not for me.
No brushy, no flossy, no servicey.
'Tis true.
That be why ye teeth be cursed and yon lads' be not-eth.
Wait a second.
You're just trying to take care of people's teeth? Aye.
I be a ghost dentist, but I be a dentist first.
Sometimes a pirate but mostly dentist.
What about your evil dental weapons? Oh, I get carried awayeth.
So, if we let you take care of everyone's teeth -Rest in peace, I shall.
-Deal! No sale, Sally! I'm never flossing! -You have to.
-Nope.
- Flossing is a red line.
- I got this! I hated flossing, too, once.
But then I heard a fantastic song.
Your teeth need flossing daily So they'll be aglow Brushing alone is simply not enough So you must floss In sunshine and in shadow So your new teeth Your teeth will be healthy and stuff Okay, I'll floss.
Now, rinseth and spiteth.
Ah! Why am I wet? Why do my teeth feel bigger? Where are my pants? Melvin, you did this! -Shall I uncageth yon whiner? -Maybe tomorroweth.
Guess we found our perfect campfire story.
Yep.
So, we don't need this guy after all.
You can go home now.
George, he's not leaving.
Because he's hungry.
Ahh! Don't worry, guys, I'm half-robot now.
Singularity!