The L Word: Generation Q (2019) s03e09 Episode Script

1
Previously on
The L Word: Generation Q
I can't do anything that's too
- real right now.
- Okay.
What the actual fuck, Taylor?
I'm sorry.
Yeah, I am, too.
- By the way, he dies in the end!
- Oh, come on, lady!
You want to start your new life?
Call this exactly what it was.
An awakening.
For both of us.
- Fuck. Oh, my God.
- What?
It's someone I dated, briefly.
Hey, hey. Grab
your shit. Come on.
I love you, but I am not
my full self when I'm with you, Finn.
I am on my own path,
I am taking swings.
My mom died.
I'd like another chance.
And I-I want to earn your trust back.
I can't do this back-and-forth, I just,
- I need to get off this fucking ride.
- Are you okay?
- No, I think I need to lie
- Hey. Carrie. Carrie!
Her heart rate is
dropping, we're losing her.
Starting compressions.
I need epinephrine and
bicarbonate going in, now!
Stay with me.
She's stabilizing.
- I've got a pulse.
- She's gonna make it.
- Get her to CCU for observation.
- See, she's not dead.
Next season, she has
an affair with a patient
- and she goes completely coocoo.
- Okay.
Have many times have you seen
this show all the way through?
I don't really want to
answer that question.
- Okay.
- All right?
Let's just say a lot.
- Uh-huh.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Hey, what did we say
about starting the day
with a balanced breakfast
and a little movement?
Well, we have said nothing,
but you apparently have said a lot.
Okay, well, the doctor said
you got to get your steps in.
- We're trying to heal here.
- Yeah, it's only been a week
since your heart attack, babe.
Oh, I find Grey's Anatomy
very healing, you know?
It's gotten me through
some really rough patches
- in my life.
- Thank you. That's nice.
Well
- Ah, come on.
- That can be your reward
for doing your stress test today.
- Yeah?
- Yep, we got a quarter mile
- up an incline, baby.
- Ugh.
Yes, we have to do that.
We're doing that today.
- Yeah.
- All right.
Then you can do anything you want.
- Yep.
- Including Misty.
Ooh. Sex as motivation.
I like that. Yes?
- Hey!
- The two of you
are really bad, you know that?
- Mm-hmm.
- Oh, my God.
- Ugh. Ugh. This is not eggs.
- No, it's tofu.
Yeah? Well, tofu fuck yourself.
No wonder I've never had it before.
I think that's a great idea.
Yeah.
It's nice to know that
I can always depend on you.
- I love you so much.
- I love you, too.
Fuck you.
Hey. I was hoping for chicken nuggets
but all they had was
something called a "fish cake,"
so proceed with caution.
I'm not hungry, but thanks.
G, this has to stop.
Get your sorry ass out of
bed, put on some clothes,
and get to your reading.
I'm not going. Hendrix
can fail me if he wants,
I really don't care.
You're way too hot to be hung
up on some Hemingway wannabe.
I hope to one day
share that perspective.
I got to run to rehearsal but when
I get back, you better be gone.
I will definitely be here.
- Angie
- I'm serious. I can't see him.
There's nothing in
this whole world that's
gonna make me want to go.
Who's that? Did you invite someone over?
No.
- Surprise!
- Surprise!
- Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
- Hey.
Wait, what are you guys doing here?
Well, we weren't
gonna miss your reading.
We're gonna
film it, is that okay?
No, no, the reading
It's not a thing. It's a non-thing.
- Right?
- Yep, a total non-thing.
Well, not according to
the department website.
Are you coming?
- Me? No.
- Yes.
Yes.
- Is something wrong?
- Nope.
Is everything okay?
She's nervous.
- I'm nervous.
- Oh
About the reading.
- Big nerves about it, so
- Oh, honey, look, come here.
- Sit down.
- Don't Okay.
You have nothing to be
nervous about, at all.
- That's what I told her.
- It's gonna be great, okay?
Just breathe, like in
your stomach sort of.
Okay. Just You don't
have to be nervous, honey.
Because you are an amazing writer.
Yes. And you have such
command of the stage.
You were so terrific in
your high school productions.
- I was a stage hand.
- And it was memorable.
- Okay.
- Well, that's good.
Thanks. I hope that experience
can get me through today.
It will.
And then afterwards we can all
go out to dinner and celebrate.
I made a reservation at Providence.
- So bougie.
- Okay, okay.
I guess, um,
- we're all going to this thing.
- Yep.
- Yay.
- Great.
Um, maybe you should, um
Are you gonna Yeah, maybe change?
Uh, maybe just a quick shower.
- Mom, stop.
- Maybe just pits and bits.
Or you could wipe just
- very fast with water.
- Guys.
Or-or whatever you think is best.
- Totally fine. Okay.
- That's-that's good.
Now go, so I can get ready.
- Okay.
- You can get ready.
- Um, I love you.
- We're going.
Break a leg.
Bye. Nice meeting you.
- You look great.
- They're low-key iconic.
Are you sneaking out?
Do you want some coffee?
No, um, I'm good, thanks.
It was really nice to
have you here last night.
I think Mack missed you.
He's a good boy.
Um, I was thinking maybe
we could go talk to someone.
If-if you're ready to.
I'm not yet.
Thought it might be a good idea.
Well you also thought
it would be a good idea
to fuck another woman, um
I'm gonna go to the, um,
expansion and-and meet the tile guy.
I'll see you later.
Look at these little jelly bean toes.
They're so squishy. Are you looking?
- Yes.
- Like Look.
Ooh! Oh, he's perfect.
I mean, his cat box is not
perfect. It's like whew.
But I cracked a window.
Oh, look at this one. Look at this one.
Come on. Have you ever
seen anything cuter?
Aww.
Yeah, just the other 200 pictures
you showed me of your kitten yesterday.
Anyway, um, how are those
Rachel questions coming along?
- Oh, so good.
- Okay.
Yeah, I can't believe
we're wrapping this season
with the Rachel Maddow.
I mean, we are living the
queer dream here, so
Ooh, do you have the green? Ah.
There's only two.
- Um, Alice.
- Yeah?
Did you interrupt a movie
at a theater recently?
Who's asking?
Uh, everyone in my DMs.
Apparently James Corden
retweeted the video
and now the hashtag
- Oh, my God, that guy.
- "AliceSoEntitled" is
- is trending.
- "Entitled"?
How is that even
- All right. Yeah, I see it.
- Wait a minute.
Did you yell at an elderly woman, too?
- Oh, my God.
- What? What ?
Okay, we had a rapport
until she turned on me.
Okay, and-and
Oh, and then you told
everyone how the movie ended.
Oh, my God, it was an old movie.
Everybody knows how the movie ends.
Now everyone's talking about
all this other bullshit you've done.
Alice, do you know a
guy named Daryl Brewer?
Oh, God.
Okay All right, here we are.
A quarter-mile incline
with a view, baby.
I'm gonna run up ahead,
find the quarter-mile mark for us.
- You got this.
- Okay. All right.
Just follow when you're
ready. Stretch out.
- Don't get hurt.
- All right.
Are you sure?
That looks like longer
than a quarter mile.
Well, it's gonna get a lot
closer once we get going.
- Yeah.
- And then, uh
we can get going.
Well, you know, I would, uh, like that,
I just don't want to die
during it. You know?
- Okay.
- Yeah.
You know, um
I wasn't expecting to feel all these
- feelings with you, you know?
- Yeah, me neither.
I mean I'm not somebody who just,
you know, jumps right
into sex stuff or whatever.
Okay. I totally understand that.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
I can't take another heartbreak.
We don't have to do anything
that you're not ready for, okay?
Obviously.
- Thank you.
- Okay.
But also I'm very good at it.
You're what?
I just I want you to
have all of the information.
I am excellent at it,
I've had a lot of practice,
it would be a, you know,
shame to miss out, really.
I don't plan on missing
out, Misty. At all. Oh, look,
a family is here. Hello.
This is a family hike.
- No sex talk.
- All right, all right.
It's a family hike, Misty.
Come on.
- Oh, that's a that's an incline.
- We got this.
Alice, I've got the board up my ass
and sponsors ready to pull.
What happened between
you and Daryl Brewer?
I met him at a party. He
was with his boyfriend.
Then his teammate came
out of the closet, which
was and is a very brave
thing to do, Barry.
- Okay.
- Then Daryl Brewer
goes on national TV, he gay-bashes him,
so I responded by calling
him a fucking hypocrite
and by doing so, yes,
I guess I outed him.
Oh, Alice.
But she feels very
differently now, Barry.
No, I don't No, I don't.
I feel exactly the same way.
People are angry.
They need to see genuine remorse.
If you can't give them that,
we think it's best if you
cancel the show tonight.
- Go home, lay low. Let this blow over.
- Barry?
I am not canceling on
Rachel Maddow, okay?
Not my Maddow. Not my Maddow.
We're gonna figure
this thing out, Barry.
We really want to deliver
a great finale for our fans.
That would be ideal, but
Thank you so much for
your leadership on this.
- We'll get back to you.
- All right,
I'm giving you one
shot. Just don't make me
- look like an asshole, Alice.
- All right. Thank you, Barry.
All right.
What is the way out of this?
I have no fucking clue.
But we'll find it.
Well, at least you sounded like
you knew. So, that's a good thing.
I think I figured it out.
Oh, yeah? The song's working?
- I think so.
- What's it about?
I'm not telling you that.
- Oh, so it's a secret?
- Yeah.
Oh.
Well, I like secrets.
- Let me see.
- Mm-mm. Mm-mm.
- Gimme, gimme.
- No, no, no, no, no.
- Give me a peek.
- No.
- Come on. Tell me.
- Mm-mm.
God, I love you.
I mean, I love what you're doing.
Is what I meant.
Not, like, you.
Um, it's It's Sophie.
- I'm-a just
- Yeah.
- Um, please.
- Yeah, okay.
Hey, Soph.
Perfect timing.
They probably can already tell.
They can, like, sniff this shit out.
I'm the only person who knows
- you're banging the professor, okay?
- Was banging him.
Was.
Hey, uh, good afternoon.
We're about to get started,
so if you could all please
take your seats. Thank you.
- Bella.
- Here, come join us.
- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah.
Okay.
- You got this. Good luck.
- Do I?
- You're the best person I know.
- I don't know about that. That's
Oh, you're smart and kind
and full of life and wisdom.
He's an idiot and you're a catch.
- It's so obvious.
- Says who?
- You got this.
- Thank you all for coming.
My name is Samuel Hendrix,
I'm the Intro to Creative
Writing instructor.
And, yeah, okay. Here we are. Um
I've been excited about
this day the whole semester.
I've gotten to watch these young
writers really come in to their own.
And now, today, you
all get a front-row seat
at the next generation of young poets
and writers of all kinds.
So, sit back, relax,
and let's have a good time.
Dani has written hundreds
of these public apologies.
I'm happy to give you a template
and then we can tailor it together.
Or a better idea, I could just lean in.
Uh, I don't know, Alice.
"Lean in" sounds like
the opposite of "lay low."
Yeah.
Okay, look, if people
really think that I'm an out-of-touch
entitled asshole, then I
say we make a bit out of it.
Uh, I fear that would make things worse.
Kimmel would do it.
- Um
- Sophie.
- You know he would.
- Yes, but
Kimmel isn't a queer woman.
Which is exactly why I should do it.
I know, Alice, I know.
- I hear you, but
- Listen.
I don't mean any
disrespect by saying this.
But you two do not know what
it was like to be gay back then.
You just don't. You weren't there.
Somebody with his power and his status
saying "down with the fags"
was like a normal thing.
- We don't use that word anymore.
- It's the anti-gay F-word.
Well, that's really
long to say, but Okay.
I just I don't regret what I said.
So, I don't think I should apologize.
Okay.
Alice
I see you, I really do.
And I get that this
is what you want to do.
But I'm just trying to
look out for the show here.
We're still the only ones on television.
Okay.
I'll give you an apology.
- Make you happy?
- Yes.
I'm gonna go prep for Maddow.
If you guys come up with
something, come find me.
Okay.
- Thank you.
- I'm just following your lead.
- Where should we work?
- Come on.
A slim opening in the trees
gives way to the dirt path,
which weaves down the hillside
My car got broken
into a couple days ago.
- Young trees
- I'm sorry to hear that.
Yeah, somebody shattered the window.
It cost me like 250 bucks to replace it.
What a terrible inconvenience.
I almost reported a theft.
Until I realized only
one thing was missing.
What was that?
It was that chapbook you made me.
A criminal with good taste.
Maybe.
Or
maybe an immature person
whose feelings were hurt,
so they decided to vandalize
somebody's property for no reason.
I had a very valid
reason, Professor Hendrix.
And you know it.
revealing an aging playground.
Hey, Bella, do you want some candy?
I have a whole assortment
in my bag if you want some.
Yeah, sure.
She always stocks up at Duty Free, yeah.
- She's kind of perfect that way.
- Aww.
Well, thank you, that's so nice.
Hey, hey.
- Hi.
- Hey. Come here.
Aww. It's so good to see you.
- I miss you guys.
- Aww, I missed you.
- Hi, beautiful.
- Hello, hello.
Oh, Shane, this is Bella.
Bella, this is Shane.
How you doing, Bella? Nice to meet you.
Wow, hot aunt.
Okay. I feel that.
- Yeah.
- Where's Tess?
She couldn't make it.
But she sends her love.
Mmm.
our ballroom.
A sandbox waiting to be transformed
I know it's not easy
owning your own mistakes
and trying to make things right.
I know how that feels.
Mm.
- She's a good person.
- I know. I know.
She's just, uh
- She's not herself yet.
- Yeah, well, that makes sense. Right?
- I mean, her mom just died.
- Yeah.
You two are trying to figure things out.
I know, I know, I know. It's-it's
It's more than that.
It just, it feels like we're
not moving forward together.
Trust takes time.
- Right.
- Mm.
- Time and honesty.
- Relentless honesty.
They've got good couples
therapists in Toronto, don't they?
The best.
- Ah.
- Universal health care.
Oh, okay, that's the secret.
Beautiful. Beautiful work, Ben.
Next up, we have
Angelica Porter-Kennard.
- Whoo!
- Go, G!
- She looks nervous.
- Wait, that's
Shh, she's starting.
Hi.
Nowhere.
- Oh, hi. Oh, nice.
- Hey, you approve?
Kitties everywhere. I love it.
- Hey.
- Hey. What do you think of this?
"Sometimes I lose sight of my
own power and responsibility
as a public figure and
it's in those moments
that I betray myself and my community."
Mmm. Okay. Uh, the sentiment's there,
I just think it needs to be in
Alice's voice just a little bit more.
- Copy.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, uh, one second.
This is Sophie.
Okay, okay. That's a lot of torque.
- Whoo! How many CCs is this?
- Alice.
- What are CCs anyway?
- Hey, Alice.
- Can I get you for a minute?
- Do you know what a CC is?
Yeah, okay, wait.
Here's what I'm wondering though.
The transition time between
landing with Rachel,
right? And landing the jump.
Also, I think we should
walk it through. Is she here?
- Is she here yet?
- She's not coming.
- What?
- Maddow pulled out.
Sophie
Did she say why?
- Alice
- Oh, my
But hey, hey.
We tape in 45 minutes,
we-we-we can call favors.
That's enough time. We can
call people in. It's fine.
Let's just cancel the finale.
- Excuse me?
- Everyone, canceled!
Alice
What's the point of all this,
really? If you think about it.
Just like, oh, I get on
stage every week and I'm
you know, trying to bring
a little joy to everyone.
Just trying to give a
voice to all the queers!
And they turn on me?
It's not fucking worth it, okay?
Just run a, uh, clip
show for all I care.
That, that I'm sorry, Sophie.
I'll I'll pay for it if it's broken.
Hey. You okay?
What are you gonna do?
You gonna cancel the episode?
I'm gonna make a fucking show.
"Then I shouted to everyone, everywhere,
but my voice was heard
by no one, nowhere.
I saw you in the mirror until I grew up
and realized there's nothing
familiar about you anymore,
you were just empty space
where love once lived."
Thank you.
Wait, that's the guy.
- Who?
- That's the guy, that's her ex.
- No, no, that's her professor.
- I'm telling you,
that's her ex. Bella. Is that her ex?
Or is that her professor?
- Um Uh
- Hey!
Get away from my daughter!
I'm talking to you, Professor!
What are you ? Mom. Sit down.
- You're making a scene.
- Don't speak!
What is wrong with you?!
Okay, okay, okay, okay,
okay, okay, okay, okay.
Margaret Cho is gonna come back as host,
- she's gonna kill it.
- Great.
So, that takes care of our
three-minute opening monologue,
but that still leaves with me
with four to five minutes short
- without Maddow. God.
- What about Dre?
They've been working on new material.
They're new, but
I've been wanting
to do this kind of thing
for so fucking long.
Make the show about
bringing in new talent.
Queer talent.
Okay, then let's do it.
You're almost there.
- Home stretch. Here we go, Care.
- Just past this line.
I'm coming. I'm, uh
- Okay.
- Come on, right here.
You can stop if you need to.
- Okay. Oh, God, I'm
- Right here.
- Yeah, come on. Right here.
- Come on.
- Come on, you got this.
- Oh, man.
You got this. A couple more steps.
- Come on.
- A couple more, you can do it.
- Yes!
- Yes! She's a beast, people!
- You did it. Are you all right?
- Please give me
Just give me a minute, give me a minute.
- How's the heart?
- I don't know. I don't know.
Here, chug this.
- You need to drink this.
- You okay?
- You okay?
- Yeah. I think so.
What the fuck is in that?
- What?
- Well, it's green powder.
- I thought it'd be good for you.
- Oh, dude.
- It's got vitamins and stuff.
- That's so not
Come on, Finley, I like my
water clear, like everyone does.
You know, I like my eggs to be eggs.
The doctor said, you know
I'm just, I'm trying to help.
I know, but you're driving me crazy.
Sorry, I just
I thought I lost you and
it was really fucking scary.
- I know.
- I just
I don't want to lose you, I love you.
Not in a gay way. I mean,
you know, we're both gay,
- but
- Yeah.
I totally get that. I love you, too.
A lot.
Now, will you help me get
down this fucking hill?
Yep. I got you. Let's go.
- Let's go. Let's go.
- Come on.
- Carrie?
- What?
- I'm super gay for you.
- You are?
- Mm-hmm.
- That's good to know, Misty.
- Oh, boy, my legs are jiggling.
- Yeah?
It's all right,
it's only a half mile down.
A half mile? I knew you lied, Finley.
I wanted you to see the view.
I don't want to see the view.
You just fucking humiliated
me in front of my entire class.
We trusted you
to take care of yourself.
- I am taking care of myself.
- He belongs in jail.
Okay, why didn't you tell us?
- I
- Why didn't you tell me?
Because I don't owe you
anything! It's my fucking life!
- We obviously need to move back here.
- No, I do not want you here.
- At all.
- Which is clear.
I'm just gonna get a condo
right next to your dorm
and I'm not gonna let
you out of my sight.
- Okay. Okay.
- Okay, okay, okay. All right.
All right, no. For the record,
listen, we're blaming him,
- we're not blaming you.
- What? No! Why?
Oh, honey, he took advantage of you.
No, he did not. You're not getting it.
- What is he? Like 27? 28?
- Yes.
Yeah, and it was nothing like that.
That's not the situation.
Honey, you just don't
see it that way right now.
But later you're gonna understand;
he totally took advantage of you.
This is exactly why I
don't tell you anything.
You're all acting like
fucking hypocrites.
Like you've never fallen in love
with someone that you shouldn't?
- It's fucking bullshit.
- Okay.
Okay. Okay. Um
Oh, no, okay
- It's fine.
- Okay, okay.
All right, why
don't we just, um
I don't know, why won't
we just go to dinner
Fuck dinner. I don't
I don't want I don't
want to be around you.
Angie, wait up!
- Angie, wait up. Wait up.
- No.
- They just treat me like a kid.
- No
They just fucking humiliated me
and they didn't even fucking realize it.
- Okay, now that I saw. I saw that.
- Like, can you believe how wrong
they all are about the situation?
Like, they misjudged
it so poorly, you know?
I-I sort of think they're right.
- What?
- Uh, I just mean, um
I think it's weird.
On his side. Not on yours.
- How? I was the one that kissed him.
- I know, but it-it's
I was the one that told
him that it was okay.
Do you understand what I'm saying?
He was the one that
wanted to get out of it.
I don't want to seem
like I'm a fucking kid
who doesn't know what she wants.
- Because that is not the truth.
- I know.
I'm on your side! I am on your side!
I just He has all the power.
- Okay, whatever.
- That's real.
May I please have my bag?
- May I please have my bag?
- Okay.
- Where are you going?
- Don't worry about it.
Piddles Junior?
I had the worst day
getting canceled.
Oh, my God.
What, am I gonna go back to
podcasts? Because kill me.
Piddles?
Hey, little PJ?
PP?
Little PP?
Mr. P?
Where are you hiding?
Are you hiding from me?
Are you hiding from me?
I see you. I see you.
PJ! PJ! Piddles!
No You're so little!
Tess!
Hey.
- Hey. What's up?
- Um
I wanted to talk to you about something.
Okay.
I haven't been honest with you.
I never thought we needed a second bar.
I just bought it because
I wanted to make you happy.
We're in the middle of a renovation.
I know, I know, I know, but look,
they didn't even put the tiles up yet.
They're They're
here They're right here.
I understand, I understand. But
- What if it wasn't a bar?
- Then what would it be?
A salon.
It's just an idea that I'm
kicking around, all right?
- So, bear with me.
- Okay
But on this side over
here, a couple sinks.
All right? And then
Along this wall right here,
the stations, with separate
floor-to-ceiling mirrors and
some vintage barber chairs.
Huh? Like, ambient lighting.
Maybe a-a lounge area over
in this section, but
Whatever it is, it would
be small and low-key.
You would be at Dana's and
I could be here.
This is just something
I've been missing, Tess.
What do you think?
I think it's bullshit.
Why do you get to make up all the rules?
I don't, I don't, I don't.
Tess, this was an idea.
No, you do.
- You get to fuck whoever you want
- I apologized for that.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And now you're coming in here
and just, like, blowing
this whole thing up.
This was my dream.
You are so fucking
self-centered, it's exhausting.
It's like, if you're not
happy, no one's allowed to be.
- I can't do this anymore.
- Do what?
I can't.
I can't do this. This.
Anymore.
Oh. This?
Fuck you.
Purple, not red.
- Hi, guys. How are you?
- Doing great.
Hi. Have the writers
revise the cold open.
Sure.
Oh, hey. Um, cue the music
cue-in later for Margaret.
I don't want to drown out
anything she says to the audience.
- Thank you.
- Sure thing, Sophie.
Right, so Margaret's
gonna do your intro.
You're gonna get touches right before
you go on. And then the band
does have your music, so
Dani, Dani, Dani.
Are we just gonna pretend like
this morning didn't happen?
Look, this moment is not
about that right now, okay?
It's not about me at all,
really. It's about you.
- No, I know, but I
- Oh, thank God, hey.
We're live-to-tape in 20.
You're gonna fucking kill it.
Okay, come on, let's go.
Order 152.
I'm sorry we didn't make it to dinner.
- It's okay. Burgers are good.
- How are you so calm right now?
I'm not calm.
I'm vibrating at a very high
frequency internally right now.
Just trying to stay mindful,
to reserve my white-hot anger for him
instead of letting it decimate
some innocent bystander.
Order 153.
I just I feel like we
should go find him and just
We can't do that.
We want our daughter to tell us stuff.
I mean, she didn't even feel
like she could talk to us.
She was right.
So, instead of murdering him,
I think we should just eat some fries.
I feel like we're losing her.
We are.
- She's pushing us away
- No, don't say it. Don't say it.
And that's exactly what
she's supposed to be
- doing right now.
- I hate it.
- I hate how it feels.
- I know, I know.
Me too, but we want her to
carve out her own path, right?
And she's ready. She's so fucking smart.
I know she is.
But it doesn't matter how smart you are,
because you're gonna
fuck up along the way.
- Yeah.
- Right?
Yeah, you're right.
Order 160.
I think I want a number three.
- Hmm.
- That's what I usually get.
- I'm gonna get that.
- Before I forget to tell you,
it was so sexy watching
you stand up for her.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- Are you flirting with me?
- Maybe.
I think you are flirting with me.
- Hey.
- Hi, um,
can we get two number threes
- with cheese and
- Fries.
- Ooh, yeah, fries.
- Fries.
And a large Coke.
- Yeah, we can do that.
- Two straws.
We're gonna share it.
Piddles?
PJ? I got your favorite.
Well, it's technically my
favorite but it's got chicken.
You love chicken.
Piddles?
Piddles?
I hear you. I hear you.
That's a rat. That's a rat.
Oh!
Oh
Okay, I get it.
I stand by my reasons for doing it,
but I should've apologized
for the rest. I get it, it's payback.
But karma shouldn't hurt cats.
Piddles?
Piddles?
Psst, psst, psst, psst.
Where are you?
Piddles. Piddles!
Piddles, Piddles, Piddles.
Oh, my God.
You're so high.
Okay.
Um
Yeah, let's just call somebody.
911?
911. What's your emergency?
Hi, um, okay, this is not an emergency.
I-I My cat is-is stuck in a tree.
Can you repeat that?
I'm so sorry.
Like, obviously I did not
tell them to say any of that.
And I know that's exactly
- what you were afraid of.
- Yeah. Well
And so I, well
- What are you doing?
- I'm-I'm packing up
my stuff. I'm leaving.
- Did they fire you?
- Angie, take a breath.
Everything is okay. I chose to resign.
You did not have to
do that, I could've
I could've told whoever you wanted
that it was me in the first place.
Hey, you have done me a huge favor.
I never should've taken this job.
Okay? It's been holding
me back. And now
I can truly focus full-time on my book.
Oh. Okay. Good for you.
So you don't work here anymore?
Nope. I'm a free agent.
I'm an unemployed writer.
Now, I got to figure out
Stop talking.
- Okay, fuck her.
- Right?
- Yes.
- Yeah.
Also, there's something about her face.
- Rubs you the wrong way.
- It does.
Yeah. Don't worry, she
dies in a plane crash.
Thank you for the spoiler.
I really actually like this show.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Are you sure?
- I'm sure.
- Hey.
- I'm sorry.
- Hey, Carrie.
- I'm sorry.
It's okay.
I didn't expect to feel
this much, you know?
Yeah.
- I almost died.
- I know, I know.
It hasn't really sunk
in yet, I don't think.
Listen, Carrie, I'm not going anywhere.
Neither are you.
- Oh, my God, that's so good.
- Oh, my God.
Do you ever miss L.A.?
Mm, no.
Hmm.
Not really.
Mm.
I have you, I could be anywhere.
Yeah, I feel the same way.
I want to spend the
rest of my life with you.
Same.
What if we got, um
Ah. What if we got married?
You know? I don't know.
Throw a party for our friends
or something like that.
Something fun.
That's what the dinner
was supposed to be for.
- Really?
- Yeah.
I can't believe you did that.
- Do you like it?
- Yeah.
I like it a lot.
- Can I put it on?
- Yeah.
You sure you like it?
My God, it's been in my bag
all night. It's been killing me.
Oh, you're so sneaky. I
don't know how you did that.
I love it.
It's so beautiful.
- I love you.
- I love you, too.
- Mm.
- I'm just
I want it on record
that I asked you first.
Oh, okay.
But one could argue that ring
is proof that I had the idea first.
Okay. One could argue. But one wouldn't.
No, one most certainly would not.
Where have you been? ♪
I've been waiting my whole life ♪
For someone like you
to keep me on my light ♪
I've been down, I've been up ♪
Where, where, where are you now? ♪
Sometimes it takes
more time than expected ♪
My patience is running
thin so I keep pretending ♪
I'm not down, I'm not out ♪
But where, where, where are you now? ♪
Ooh, ooh ♪
Is it you? ♪
Oh! Oh! Oh, yeah!
Ooh ♪
I found you ♪
I'm not afraid of what's
near and what's coming ♪
I want the love so do
away with the runnin' ♪
I've been high, I've been low ♪
So when, when, when will you show? ♪
Yeah ♪
Ooh, ooh ♪
Is it you? ♪
Ooh ♪
I found you ♪
All right, all right, all right ♪
On my way to better days ♪
I never was good at change ♪
You're the only place I want to stay ♪
I found you, I found you ♪
I found you ♪
Ooh, I found you ♪
Ooh, it's only you ♪
You ♪
Oh ♪
Oh! ♪
Is it you? ♪
Yeah ♪
You ♪
Oh ♪
Honey, I found you ♪
I found you ♪
Yeah, Dre!
The Lyft driver did not
need to know that about me.
Oh, yes, she did.
She's gonna be like,
"I drove Dre home the
night of their first show."
She's never gonna say that.
Well, I follow her on Instagram now,
so we'll see who's right in the end.
- Are-are you going somewhere?
- Yeah, I'm gonna head home.
Today was the best day of my life.
And I owe you everything.
But
I meant what I said earlier.
I'm falling for you.
And if you don't feel the same way,
I should probably head home.
Protect my heart a little.
So where you at?
PJ? PJ. Oh, my God.
Oh, here, you should eat
this, it's really good.
Hi, honey.
Oh, thank you so much. Thank you. Oh.
Was that so scary? Hi, honey.
- Beautiful.
- Hi, Alice.
Oh, my God. That is so annoying.
- Fuck this day.
- Nice to see you, too.
You know what? I don't
feel the same way, Tasha.
- I was being sarcastic.
- Okay, well,
as you know, I have had
a very, very bad day.
Oh, have you? And how am
I supposed to know that?
Oh, I don't know, because
I've been in the news
for the last 24 hours about everywhere.
I mean, you've seen it,
right? They've all seen it.
Well, this may come as a shock to you,
but I don't actually have a
Google Alert set to your name.
Right. Because you
hate celebrity culture.
It's just so vapid, it's so
meaningless, and blah, blah, blah.
- You never change.
- Well, I take that as a compliment.
It wasn't intended as one.
Yeah, let's get out of here.
Thank you very much, everybody,
present company excluded,
for saving my kitten.
We're happy together again.
Have a wonderful evening.
Heroes. Heroes.
Alice, wait.
There's paperwork.