The Last Kids on Earth (2019) s03e09 Episode Script

1
[Jack] Ugh! Ah! Ugh! Ugh! Huh! [gasps]
Ah! Please don't drop me!
Please don't drop me!
Please don't drop me!
Ugh! Ah! I said don't drop me! Ah! Ugh!
[crashing]
I can't see! Ah! I can't see!
Don't wanna see! Don't wanna see!
Whoa!
[all shout]
[laughs] Uh hi! [laughs]
-Uh, ah!
-[screetches]
Uh, hello there, how are you?
How's the missus?
You really like free comics day, huh?
Well, too bad. The store is closed!
Ugh.
That smell!
The stench of evil.
All right, Jack. You stopped Rezzoch once,
you can do it again.
Probably.
[gasps] Maybe.
[growling]
[screeches]
-[groaning]
-[static]
[groaning]
[radio static]
[woman over radio]
Please respond immediately.
Help us find the others.
Help us! Jack!
-What?
-[woman] Help us, Jack!
Jack, you're our only hope.
[stomping]
[Dirk] They're circling like vultures.
And vultures eat dead stuff!
Step on it, big guy!
[grunts]
This is too big for Jack,
too big for all of us!
We need help!
Cool Guy 5! Come in, Cool Guy 5!
We need you! Over!
[woman over radio]
Jack. Tell me something, Jack.
What, what is it?
[woman over radio] Tell me, Jack,
Did you really think
showing them the most fun ever
would actually convince
your friends to stay?
Really?
Ah! Get out of my head!
[grunts]
Why are you playing games with me?
[Rezzoch] This is no game, Jack.
[screams]
You know what, Rezzoch?
How about we just skip to the part
where I end you?
Like I did Blarg, and Thrull,
and my pet goldfish
that I mistakenly overfed when I was nine.
That's right, I'm gonna end you
just like I did Homer the Goldfish.
You're nothing special, Rezzoch.
You're just next!
[Rezzoch] Oh, Jack.
You have no idea what's next.
I'm not here to fight,
I need your help.
Say what now?
[screeching]
[June] We're never getting
in there without help.
He should be here by now.
-[barking]
-[screeching]
[shouting and screeching]
[June] Biggun? Skaelka?
[screeching]
Cool Guy 5 is in the house!
Come on!
[shouting and grunting]
[Rezzoch]
At the Tree of Entry, I saw you Jack,
and I was impressed.
That's why we're here,
in this temple of heroes.
Heroes, like you.
So powerful.
Consider me a fan.
A fan? You hurt Rover!
You tried to kill my friends!
[Rezzoch]
I needed your undivided attention.
I showed you what would happen
to the world if you continued to fight me.
If you gave up your destiny
[grunts] You're wasting your belly breath!
I'm not just another limping Thrull
waiting to do your bidding.
[Rezzoch] You're right. You're stronger.
Strong where it matters, inside.
This world's last hero.
-[Rezzoch] Bring me into this world
-[grunting]
and nothing will ever come between
you and your friends again!
Once I have bonded with you,
as I did with the Wretch,
the future will be yours! Ours!
I'll never help you!
[Rezzoch] It's too late.
The process has already begun.
[grunts, screaming]
-[screams] Wait, you're Cool Guy 5?
-[grunts]
Quint gave me a nickname.
Uh, so who are Cool Guys One through Four?
Also me, as I understand it.
[bell chimes]
Jack!
We gotta help him.
-Um
-[gasps]
[Dirk] It's just standing there!
Jack, you there, friend?
Hey! Brohiem! Wake up!
You get him out of here,
I'm gonna spear this wannabe dragon
into next Sunday.
-[Both] Right!
-Wrong!
[grunts]
Hold, friends.
The beast and Jack are connected, now.
If either of them are disturbed,
Jack's essence will be lost
within the beast forever.
Bardle. It's Jack.
-We need to fight.
-Indeed.
[squelching]
[chomps]
We can fight.
But not in this realm.
Ugh! [panting]
[Rezzoch] There is no escape, boy!
I'm not trying to escape!
I'm buying time to figure out
how to squash you like a potato bug!
Ah! The mall?
[roars]
[panting]
Come on, hero, think!
Hero, hero, hero!
Oh, wow! How did I
[screams]
[roars]
You were right, Rezzoch. I am strong!
Comic book strong. Video game strong!
Super hero strong Ahh!
-[grunts]
-[Rezzoch] Your resistance is foolish.
Your only hope is to join me.
[shouting]
Another scene change, Rezzoch?
It's gonna take more than that
to mess me up!
[people crying]
[Jack] Rover?
-Guys?
-[all crying]
Guys?
June?
Guys? Ah!
[groans]
[grunting]
[screeching]
Oh, he's getting pale.
Then I suggest you get moving.
[kids] Whoa!
[June] What is this?
Jack is in a dream,
a place between worlds,
a nightmare-scape.
-And now you are in it too.
-[kids] Whoa!
Dude! Ask people before you drop them
into a nightmare-scape!
Sorry.
So, we're in Jack's head?
[sniffs] It smells like nachos in here.
Be forewarned,
thanks to Rezzoch's considerable power
this world of dreams
can actually hurt you.
I knew it!
I totally knew he was gonna say that!
But the work I've been doing
these last few months may be of help.
Astral projection and lucid dreaming,
dreams you can control.
But how does any of this help Jack?
[Bardle] In theory, you'll be able to bend
this environment into your whim.
Allow me to demonstrate.
[grunting]
You should be able
to flex your imaginations in weapons.
I like real weapons!
Huh?
Um, maybe we should just follow you?
I am not here, this is only a projection.
I must stay in the real world,
and use my power to keep your souls
tethered to your bodies.
-Hmm.
-Uh, yes, super good idea.
-Souls, bodies, priority number one.
-Ugh!
You must rescue Jack
and return to our world
before this candle burns out.
If not, you'll all be trapped here
in the nightmare world forever.
Rezzoch wins, and the world ends.
Okay, important tip
from the giant orbiting Bardle head.
[Bardle] Any questions?
Oh! Can we get a bigger candle?
No, but good question.
You're too weak to be a hero.
Heroes are strong, like me. [grunts]
Oh, sweet, simple Jack.
[laughs] I never liked you.
I wish you left me at the school!
You know, I was never really your friend.
I just felt sorry for you.
-[Dark Dirk grunts]
-[Jack shouts]
-[whimpering] Huh?
-[Rezzoch] I told you, Jack.
Help me, or you will lose everything.
I'll stop you! I'll stop you.
I will!
[Rezzoch] And when I reach your world,
I will destroy them as well!
[screaming] No!
How're we supposed to save Jack
if we can't even find him!
The big Bardle head said we should be able
to bend the environment to our will.
-I just need to build a Ugh.
-[objects rattling]
Whoa, that's cool.
Ah! A Jack tracker!
We go that-a-way!
Cool!
Let's go.
-[grunting]
-Dude, are you pooping?
In Jack's head?
[strained] No! Better!
[vehicle approaching]
-[June] Whoa!
-[Quint] Cool!
Ah. My dream creation, so I'm driving.
Cool! Milkshake!
Ugh
Milkshake in a cup!
[tires squealing]
[grunting]
Stop! Please!
I don't wanna fight you!
No! I can't give up!
[vehicle approaching]
-[horn blaring]
-[tires squealing]
I'll take you on too!
You're all going down!
-Jack, no!
-Hold it, bro!
Whoa!
Fake me! And you! And you!
Dude, we're the real us!
How do I know?
Come on, Jack. You know.
Oh, we could have a quiz!
To determine which individual
best knows Jack's
It is the real you!
Wait. You guys are in my head?
Does it smell like nachos to you too?
-[thud]
-[Dark Dirk yells]
[static noise]
You're going down, evil non-friends!
[battle cry]
[grunting]
I'm gonna wipe the floor
with your handsome,
muscular, well-dressed rear end!
-[loud static]
-[shouting]
-Ha!
-Ha!
Et tu, Quinte?
Ah!
Ha! I thought it, and it happened!
Ah! [grunts]
[grunting]
Only time I ever wished
I wasn't so awesome!
[grunting]
[laughs] You're gonna have to do better
than that, Rezz-y baby!
Ah!
[all shout]
[grunting]
[Rezzoch] Bending you to my will was fun!
But breaking you will be exquisite!
[grunting]
Keep trying!
I don't break easy, Jerk Sullivan.
[shouting and grunting]
[grunting]
-[all shout]
-[grunts]
We're too evenly matched.
They know what's coming very time!
-Switch dance partners!
-You got it, friend!
[grunting]
-May I cut in?
-Indeed, good sir!
-[shouting]
-Yay!
-Wazzuh!
-[grunts]
Worst Quint impression ever, friend!
-[grunting]
-This is way too much fun!
-[panting]
-[grunting]
-Time to face the music.
-[grunts]
[indistinct voice from the radio]
Okay! Let's end this and get out of here!
-[laughs]
-[grunts]
[Dark Jack grunts]
[strains, grunts] A little help!
[all shouting]
Ah!
Thrull?
[roars]
[screeching]
Your head's a dangerous place, dude.
Tell me about it.
[grunting, screeching at a distance]
-[screaming]
-[glass breaking]
Bardle, we can't hold them off forever!
[screeching, roars]
[roars]
[screaming and groaning]
-Circle around Jack! Keep him safe.
-[Jack groaning]
What do we do?
Bardle said we can make stuff,
we just need to think bigger!
Dream bigger!
Nightmare bigger!
I'm way ahead of you!
[roaring]
Oh, yeah! Dirk monster!
Hi-ya! Yeah!
[grunts]
The more of me, the merrier!
[whirring]
Time for June 2.0!
[grunting]
You're the strongest, June.
You don't need them.
You need me!
[June grunts]
I'm strong because of them!
Hi-ya!
[roaring]
[grunts]
I can make this real for you, Dirk.
Join me, and I can make you a monster
in the real world.
[cracking]
[growling]
[Dirk shouts]
Ha!
[screams]
[screams]
Quint, you're the smart one.
You know things
are only going to get worse, Quint.
But if you join me
Rezzoch, I'll tell you the same thing
I said when I opened up
an empty Yahtzee box.
No dice!
[screaming]
This is all just a distraction
to keep us here!
-We gotta get out before
-[screaming]
I can't! Rezzoch's already inside me.
Go!
-We're not leaving you.
-Ever.
-[groaning]
-You can fight it, Jack.
You have power here.
[groaning]
Get out!
[panting]
[Dirk laughing]
[Rezzoch screaming]
[hissing]
Fighting demons from my subconscious,
that's what friends are for!
Let's do this.
[roars]
[screeching]
[shouts]
Ha!
Ha!
[grunts]
[shouting]
[Bardle] The candle! You must return now!
You heard Cool Guy 5, time to split!
Uh-huh!
-[screeching]
-[barking]
[Jack] Rover! You're not dead!
Buddy!
[growling]
Uh, buddy?
-[snarls]
-[shouts]
-[grunts]
-Jack!
No, no, no, no! No, Jack!
[snarling] I warned you.
-[groaning]
-[kids gasp]
And now, I'm warning you!
[shouts]
-Dude!
-This is my head!
My head, my rules!
Not yours!
And if someone's gonna create
chaos and destruction in here,
it's gonna be me!
-[screaming]
-[metal thuds]
And I don't belong to you, Rezzoch.
I belong with them.
I really love that idiot.
Don't tell him I said that.
[shouting]
[screaming]
Ew!
-[Dirk] Yeah! Woohoo!
-[June] That was super gross!
[Quint] I got Rezzoch on me!
[Bardle] No! It's too late!
[shouting and grunting]
Cannot hold it!
No! We'll be trapped here forever!
[gasps]