Thirtysomething (1987) s03e09 Episode Script

1 [theme.]
[Gary.]
gonna burp us.
[Susannah.]
I will never forgive you.
[Gary.]
Here.
This works on Emma.
- [toy jingles.]
- Does it work on you? Hear it make little noises.
Are you happy? - See? - [Gary.]
What? [Susannah.]
I'm calling.
[Emma coughs.]
[Gary, Susannah.]
Oh! Oh! - [cough.]
- Oh.
[Susannah laughing.]
[Gary.]
Be careful with her.
[Susannah.]
I am being careful.
You think she's getting enough air? [Gary.]
We're getting enough air.
Here, that's enough, pretty much.
There.
Breathe.
Emma.
Breathe.
Emma.
Think she's wet? Is she wet? I don't know.
You check.
I checked last time.
Oh, look at her.
She's so happy.
Must be hard to be in a space so small and contained.
You know, out here in all this vastness.
Yep.
Everything to Emma is good.
She doesn't know anything about evil, unfairness, hangovers.
Can we just raise her in here, in the bedroom, just the three of us? I don't want her to know the world's not perfect.
Yeah, you just don't want to deal with tomorrow.
Shut up.
You have to go back to work.
One of us has to bring in something that resembles a cash flow.
Oh, I know, I know.
- I'm worthless.
- Mm-hmm.
- I'm lazy.
- That's right.
I'm just going to sit around all day and eat bonbons and teach Emma how to do crossword puzzles.
No, you're going to wait for your mother to show up and tell you you're doing everything wrong.
No, she'll just do everything right, just to annoy you.
What time is it? Emma-ma, Emma-ma.
Hey, hey, muffin.
Emma-ma.
4:40.
a.
m.
or p.
m.
? Did we get out of bed? Why? - Emma Shepherd, Emma Shepherd.
- Emma Hart.
Emma Hart.
She's so good.
- Isn't she good? - She's perfect.
She's ideal.
[Emma cries.]
How can a baby cry for 12 hours straight? I don't know, I don't know.
What if it's colic? - It's not colic.
- How do you know? What is colic? Is she going to keep crying forever? What do we do? I don't know.
How am I supposed to know? I don't know, either.
How am I supposed to know, huh? [Emma whimpers.]
- Shh.
- I'm sorry.
No, it's all right.
I really Have you seen my briefcase? I think it's under the couch.
Shh.
I got two bottles down from the freezer, so she can have the first one at about 10:00.
What if she wants one before then? She can't.
We got to get her on a schedule.
Or what, the schedule police will come? We've got to get her used to staying awake during the day.
So she'll sleep all night so we don't get up 10 times? - Yeah, "we.
" - What? Will you be a good girl for Daddy? - Oh, there we go.
- Oh, the breast pump.
- It's in the kitchen.
- Can you get it? Um, yeah, okay.
- Come on, sweetie.
- I'll get it.
Okay, all right.
I wish I could take you with me, I do.
It's just so dirty down there.
There's all those germs.
I can't do this.
What? I can't leave her.
She's too little.
No, we'll be fine here with just the two of us.
Suppose she did something totally amazing while I'm away, like she discovers her hands or she smiles? Oh, God, suppose she smiles? She'll smile again.
I'll miss the first time.
So you'll see the second.
You didn't want to have a baby, remember? Yeah.
Who guessed it would be like this? It's so I didn't know it would be so much fun.
Oh, God.
- When does Eileen get here? - Okay, sweetie.
She gets here Wait, wait, the breast pump.
Don't forget the breast Sometime this afternoon, I think.
Suppose I'm not back from work yet? She'll just think you're the worst mother since Medea.
Have you seen my shoes? Yeah, right there.
If you take her out later, make sure you put a hat on her, - because they lose heat through their heads.
- I know, I know.
- We'll be good.
- I think I've gotten everything.
We'll be good.
[Emma cries.]
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Have a nice day at the office, dear.
Come on, it's okay.
It's okay.
Sorry.
Hey.
- Hey.
- Hi.
Hi.
Listen, I was cleaning out my closet, and I found your mitten.
I stopped by your place.
You weren't there.
I figured maybe you'd be here, and you are.
Yep.
Yeah.
Here I am.
Oh, she's asleep.
Wow, you put her to sleep and everything.
No, sleep's still pretty much her decision.
How's it going? - Pretty swell.
- Yeah? Yeah.
Today, we had a bath, then we had a bottle, spit up all over the sofa.
I spit up on your sofa once, New Year's.
- Like her outfit.
- Do you? Really? - Yeah.
- I was sort of worried she'd get cold out here.
I think you got that covered.
You think I should take one of the blankets off? Beats me.
Is perspiring good? You're lucky.
Yeah, except I have no idea what I'm doing.
You get to concentrate on raising a kid.
It's like you're taking this giant step forward for man.
Yeah.
I wish they had this hotline, though, for stupid questions, like what do you do when they don't burp? Do they explode? Wow.
But it's really tremendous.
This morning, I played the piano for her.
She seemed to really like it.
And then later, I'm going to read to her.
Good Night, Moon.
It's a great book.
I read that.
Everybody dies at the end, right? That's Pat the Bunny.
I know I put it somewhere.
It's all right.
New office, new place to lose things.
Yeah.
Oh, here it is.
Great.
What about that guy on the zoning thing? When I spoke to him last week, he wouldn't budge.
He budged.
You look great.
I look like the living dead.
Did you sleep? I mean, are things any better? No.
Well, she's still not sleeping, which means we're still not sleeping, but that's okay because we're getting used to not sleeping.
What is this? Why didn't we send them to the Fairmont Andrews shelter? It shut down.
You're kidding.
Yeah, three weeks ago.
They lost their lease.
That means there isn't a shelter within a mile of here.
Where are these people supposed to go? What's going to happen to the property? The new owner You don't want to hear this.
Go on.
There's been talk about putting the new civic center in the area, which means more development, and this guy wanted to jump on the bandwagon.
So what's going to happen to the building? You won't like it.
Condos.
A multi-use center, some upscale rental units, downstairs a bistro.
I want to fight this.
I thought you would.
No.
I mean I really want to fight this.
Yeah.
That's why I have all the necessary information here, and the numbers of people to call.
You're welcome.
- [Emma cries.]
- Don't you have a pacifier? - We don't use pacifiers.
- Why not? Bad for their teeth.
Emma doesn't have teeth.
Maybe it's PMS.
She's going to have a period? See? She knows.
Oh, Emma, Emma, Emma, what are we going to do with you, huh? Come on, what's going to happen? You're going to start school, all your friends will say - "Emma, why does your father have such long hair?" - Very funny.
And the next thing, you're going to fall in love and get a crush on Grover, and your father's not going to like him, because his hair is long, and the next thing you know, it's family counseling.
This isn't warm.
How am I supposed to get this warm? - Put it in the oven.
- [knocking at door.]
I'll get it.
Well, I made it.
It's so nice to finally meet you.
Aw, and this is Emma.
Hi, Emma.
She's a redhead, just like you.
Mom, hi.
- Hi, sweetheart.
- How you doing? Great.
Hey, how about this, huh? - She's wonderful.
- Hey, sweetie.
Hi, you.
This is Grandma.
You met Melissa, huh? - Melissa? - Yeah.
I'm just as happy to meet you, Melissa.
Oops.
I'm glad, too.
I mean, finally.
We almost met once.
There was, I think, a blizzard or something.
That's why we didn't, right? Something about the weather, I think.
I really, you know Unfortunately, I'm on my way out.
- I really better - You got to go? Yeah, I really do.
I'll see you.
See you.
- Bye.
- Bye.
Bye.
- Good to see you.
- Yeah.
All right.
Yes.
Huh? How about this? Melissa? Does Susannah know? Very funny, very funny.
Come on in, Mom.
You want something to drink? No, I'm fine.
Just let me hang on to her.
Look at this stuff.
I went a little berserk in the infant department.
Yeah? Here, have a seat.
Okay.
There you go.
- Wow.
- [cooes at Emma.]
Who do you think she looks like? Who? Oh, yes, sweetheart.
Yes, yes, yes.
I think a little bit like your father.
- You think so? - Yeah, the mouth.
Hey, you, hey, you.
What, what? She's actually got Susannah's mouth.
I mean, it's definitely Susannah's mouth.
I wouldn't know.
I haven't met Susannah.
Listen, can I take you up on that drink? Yeah, here you go.
It's a little warm.
Put a shot of bourbon in it, okay? Right, Mom.
You stay here.
Hold her.
She'll quiet down.
All right, sweetheart.
Okay, okay.
[lullaby chimes.]
Hi.
She's here.
- Eileen.
- She's in the kitchen.
She's making dinner? God, I'm that late? Wait, wait, wait.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Hi.
Don't worry, it'll take her at least 10 minutes - before she decides you're not good enough for me.
- Did I hear voices? Mom, this is Susannah.
Well, it's nice Sorry.
It's nice to finally meet you.
Thank you.
Me, too.
Come on in the kitchen.
Dinner's almost ready.
I should check on Emma.
She's sleeping.
How'd that happen? She's such a good baby.
She's pretty good, but sometimes she's a little on the You really put her to sleep? I think she was tired, and I rocked her a little.
Don't believe it.
Oh, listen, I meant to ask you something Is this one of those baby monitors? Mm-hmm, yeah.
That's such a great idea.
I just kind of threw this meal together.
It's nothing fancy, but I remember trying to make dinner when the kids were little.
Gary's father would bring take-out from the city sometimes.
- Chinese.
- Chinese.
Chinese, every Friday night.
Can I help you? No, thank you.
I'm sorry about the apartment.
There's not enough room.
The hotel is fine.
Did you have to work all day? Yeah.
My first day back.
I tried to work here at home, but it didn't work out.
When does Gary go back? - Back where? - To work.
And you better look into day care because I hear that's tough, to find the right place.
I'm actually not going back.
I know there was a problem about tenure.
With all the schools in the area, I just figured you'd find something, so Where are you going to be working? Actually, I'm not going back to teaching.
A little sabbatical? No, it's more like a very long sabbatical.
I'm going to be doing this.
This? Yeah, yeah, with Emma.
Susannah will be at work, and I'll be here.
Oh.
Don't worry, I'm actually pretty terrific at this.
[Emma cries.]
- I'll grab her.
- I'll get her.
- [Emma cries.]
- Shh.
Come on.
You should go to bed.
[Susannah.]
I'm already up.
But I'm here now.
I can help.
- You're too late.
- No.
You sure she's not hungry or something? She's not hungry.
She's not wet.
She's just crying.
I know she's crying.
I know she's crying.
All of our neighbors know she's crying.
Maybe we should put a sock in her mouth.
[Gary grunts.]
How do people do this without going insane? Maybe they are.
Maybe everybody out there with children is completely crazy.
[Gary.]
My mother never did this.
Get up in the middle of the night? If course she did.
No, no, no.
No way.
Eileen? She'd never give up eight hours of sleep.
Oh, stop picking on your mother.
She's my mother.
I can pick on her if I want to.
Why don't you pick on your father? - Because he's dead.
- No wonder.
Did I ever tell you about the time she made us do that Christmas card thing, that picture thing? Yeah, all four of us my parents, my sister, and I.
We were all dressed in the same little pajamas, little flannel pajamas with little cute candy canes on it and everything, and little stocking My sister and I had to wear little stocking caps.
[laughing.]
Oh, no.
How old were you, 16? I think maybe we should do that.
Don't you think we should do that? Huh? We should make a little Christmas card.
Go to bed.
I want to stay here with you.
You're annoying me.
It'll make the night go faster.
What? What's that? What's that look on your face? No, no.
Don't Don't pee.
Don't pee.
Please, don't pee.
You want some help? No, I'm I could use another pair of hands.
Here they are.
Yeah.
She's a little bit slippery.
- You know, she's, uh - Well, you look pretty slippery.
- Did you ever drop me? - Only on your head.
Yeah, I thought so.
Could you grab that wash cloth over there on the sink? Thanks.
Get a wash cloth so I can clean you up, get you nice and clean, huh? So what do you think of Susannah? I like her.
- Yeah, she's great.
- But I always liked your girlfriends.
Oh, who are you kidding? Katie Harrison? Yeah, you were real fond of her.
Okay, okay, I didn't like them all.
I think you missed behind her ear.
You see, that's it So why didn't you tell me about your work? - I don't know.
- So you didn't get tenure.
That doesn't mean you have to give up teaching.
That's true.
Where are you looking? - For what? - For another teaching job.
I'm not looking.
All right? - Huh? - Well, you'll go back to teaching once she goes to school.
I don't know if I'm going to look for another teaching job.
I don't know.
Come here.
That's good.
That's good enough.
Let's get you dried off, shall we? Ooh, yeah, come on, sweetie.
I got you.
That's a girl.
Ooh, yeah, bundle you up, get you nice and warm.
- [Janey.]
Can I baby the baby? - Ooh, yeah.
Yeah.
Here, would you hold this? That's a girl.
Cloth, yeah.
Do you know what the half life is on a disposable diaper? What do you want me to do with this? I don't know.
Put it in a plastic bag or something.
Aren't you supposed to bring your own? [Gary.]
I can't do everything.
That's okay, honey.
I know.
I know.
Is that baby wet? No, she was wet, but I just cleaned her, put a new diaper on her.
She had to poopie.
Don't you hate snaps? Yeah, snaps? Snaps are rough.
Yeah, zippers.
- Zippers? - Zippers, yeah.
Zippers are cool.
Yeah, so how's Eileen? She and Susannah must have a lot to talk about.
Susannah thinks Eileen's great, which is really bizarre.
Uh-oh.
Maybe she's going to start dressing like Eileen.
Then she'll join the Junior League, and who knows? Maybe she'll start eating meat.
Shut up.
[Michael.]
So what do you and Emma do all day? - You watch game shows? - We have a packed day.
We've got this bonding process down pretty well.
Don't we, sweetie, huh? Thank God your father's dead so he doesn't have to see you disgracing yourself like this.
- Very funny.
- Yeah.
Actually, Art did his fair amount of disgracing himself, didn't he? What was the name of that restaurant? Oh, would you get me the bottle, please, on the kitchen? What was the name of that restaurant? Oh, man, I blocked the name out of my mind.
Yeah, but it was in D.
C.
, and his secretary - Brenda? - Brenda.
Brenda, yes, yes.
He had Brenda make reservations at the restaurant under the name of George Romney because he had met him once, right? That's right.
So during dinner, all these people kept coming up to us, asking us "How is the governor enjoying his meal?" What's a little lie if you can get the best table in the restaurant? That Art, yeah.
- Yeah.
- So what name are you going to use? Atwater? Man, I got a baby now.
When am I ever going to have time to go to a restaurant? Hey, you want to see the baby? Emma, that's not spit-up.
Tell me that's not spit-up.
- Let me see.
- Huh? Is this a new rug? Yeah, it was a new rug.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I guess I was sleeping.
Yeah, I had forgotten what it was like.
I remember.
We're trying to get Emma on a schedule so she'll sleep at night, but, oh It's not working? Didn't work for Janey, either.
Really? And now? Oh, she'll get better.
I mean, it's just like a regular person, well, very little person.
They learn to like sleep just as much as we do.
Yeah.
Just sleep, she'll grow, have a career, and ruin her life like me.
What a great dilemma.
I think about Emma at work, about how much I miss her.
Then I get very busy, and I don't think about her, and I feel guilty.
Michael goes right out the door, doesn't even think about her.
Oh, here's that bouncy seat - that I was telling you about.
- Oh, great.
It's kind of stained.
It's all right.
It'll match the rest of my clothes.
- [laughs.]
- Sure you don't need it? Not for a while.
Is it, um How are you doing? It's kind of weird.
Is it scary? Well, I find myself trying not to be too optimistic.
Hmm, optimism.
And what is that? It was a gift.
Uh-uh, no, back in the box.
Thank you, though.
I thought the exhibit was wonderful, but I like Beckmann, you know, that sort of grotesque cartoonish quality he had? I always thought Expressionism was so gloomy.
Oh, but I like that.
It's just You two should really try to see that exhibit.
[Gary.]
No, we don't have time.
I could watch Emma.
No, Susannah's gotta work.
Maybe during lunchtime someday, I could get away.
I thought we'd go to the Poconos this weekend, all of us.
What a great idea.
I love the mountains.
When Gary was a Boy Scout [Susannah, Gary chuckle.]
- What? - He used to camp in the Blue Ridge Mountains.
[laughter.]
Wait.
You were a Boy Scout? You had badges? [Gary.]
Uh-huh.
I did.
Archery, Indian lore, flossing.
Oh, and I did that Conservation Corps thing that one summer.
The summer you graduated from college.
Yeah, the summer I was supposed to go to law school.
Law school? You didn't go to law school.
No.
No.
See, my father filled out the application.
He had called a bunch of his fraternity buddies up at UVA.
You were accepted at a few places.
Yeah, but I didn't want to go.
My father got it in his head that I should go to law school.
And so, at graduation at Penn, I had to tell him I'd rather do this Conservation Corps thing.
You know, it was great.
We'd clear brush, plant trees, that sort of thing.
And after four years of college, it was great to be able to work with your hands.
So, uh So there was this party.
My parents came up for graduation, and we all went out.
And it was gift time.
And my mother gave me this watch.
- Pulsar.
- Right.
Right.
Pulsar.
And my sister gives me a sweater.
You know, the L.
L.
Bean Norwegian fisherman's sweater.
And my father hands me this little package.
You know, neatly wrapped in foil paper.
And I opened it up, and it was a compass.
A nice little tin compass.
And that was my graduation present.
You know, I've decided what I think I'm going to give Emma for her present.
Playpen.
If you'd like that.
I think that would be a good idea.
And if that diamond ring won't shine Daddy's gonna buy you a Valentine If that Valentine ain't heavy Daddy's gonna buy you a beat-up Chevy If that beat-up Chevy won't run Daddy's gonna buy you an Uzi gun And if that Uzi gun won't spray Daddy's gonna phone up the NRA - Hi.
- Hey.
How you doing? Fine.
She just won't go to sleep.
Hmm? - Oh, I'll try.
- Why don't you go to sleep? - No, no.
That's fine.
- No, let me take her.
No, no.
I'm fine.
[clock chiming.]
We're okay.
Aren't we, huh? I was gonna run to the market for dinner.
Gonna make that knucklehead Jell-O mold.
Oh, knucklehead Jell-O mold, the one with the marshmallows.
- Mini-marshmallows.
- Mini-marshmallows.
- Anything else you need? - No.
No, we're fine.
[Emma fussing.]
[muttering.]
A shame your father couldn't have met Emma.
Yeah.
He had been wonderful with her.
Yeah.
Until she was old enough to talk back.
Come here, sweetie.
Here we go, sweetie.
Your first word was belligerence.
And my second? Antietam.
- Yeah.
- I wish he could see you as a father.
Oh, Mom, come on.
All he'd do is criticize me if he saw this anyway, right? - No, he wouldn't.
- He would, too.
Come on.
If he saw this? [chuckles.]
He'd probably buy me an apron or a refrigerator deodorizer.
Why are you so hard on him? Why do you always defend him? Because he's not here.
Somebody has to.
Um look, I need to get out for a second, all right? - I'm just gonna take a quick walk or something.
- Sure.
- Do you mind? - No.
- Good.
Can you hold her? - Okay.
Thanks.
Oh, now she's sleeping.
Yes.
That's right.
[no audible dialogue.]
- [Eileen humming.]
- [Emma cooing.]
Oh, they just love being naked.
I'd forgotten how much.
There you are, sweetheart.
Gary used to run around naked all the time.
He still does.
The neighbors are taking up a petition.
[laughs.]
So how was Emma? Emma was a little cranky today.
Oh, yeah.
So I sang to her.
[Susannah.]
Oh, I'm so bad at that.
[Eileen.]
We sang "Peter and the Wolf.
" [chuckles.]
Oh Now look at that.
You see her second toe is longer than her big toe? - Yeah, I noticed that.
- That means intelligence.
You really believe that? Would you like to see my toes? - [chuckles.]
- So where's Gary? Well, he's he's just out taking a walk.
A walk? Is he No, it's just a little cabin fever.
[cooing continues.]
I just came home to take her back with me.
We don't have enough bottles for today.
- You mean, back to your office? - Yeah.
Which is very crazy if you saw my office.
Well, I'd like to see your office.
I mean, I could come along.
I think that would be great.
- [chattering.]
- [phones ringing.]
[Emma fussing.]
Hey, how long are they gonna be in there? Ten minutes.
It's good.
They haven't talked this much in a month.
[Woman.]
Yeah, right.
[Man.]
Look, I'm doing the best I can.
And And then it becomes a little bunny.
Like that.
See? Go show that to your mom.
Oh.
- What? - Mr.
David Hall is here.
Uh here.
Could you - Thanks.
- [Emma fussing.]
That's a girl.
Mr.
Hall, Susannah Hart.
We almost spoke on the phone.
I've had a problem with my secretary.
- Why don't you just bulldoze her? Get a new one? - [chuckles.]
I was down in the area to take some measurements for my building.
It's not your building yet.
Uh, Ms.
Hart It is "Ms.
Hart"? Got any new ideas? A health club? Maybe an oyster bar.
Something the community can really use.
The letter came from your attorney today.
- Delaying tactics won't work.
- It'll slow you down.
- So what? I can wait.
- Six months? 12 months? You better be prepared because I'm gonna throw everything I got at you environmental impact reports, paperwork.
I got a friend atThe Enquirer who might be very interested in what's going on down there.
You think I care aboutThe Enquirer? You can wrap your fish in it for all I care.
I'm not backing down.
Fine with me.
- [phone ringing.]
- [Man.]
8th Street Project.
Can I help you? What a pill.
- [piano.]
- [breathing heavily.]
[door opens.]
[Melissa.]
Anybody home? Yeah.
Just us athletes.
Where's Emma? Oh, I passed her about a mile back.
She's with my mom.
Oh.
Listen, I was cleaning out my kitchen cabinets, and I found your pressure cooker.
Been doing a lot of cleaning these days.
Yeah.
Well, Lee's there.
You know.
- Oh, right.
- Where should I put it? Just put it there.
You sure you don't need it anymore? Nah.
Lee says you can't warm up a pizza in it.
Well, that's true.
Oh, I got another load of laundry to do.
You have no idea how much laundry that baby generates.
Yeah, well, they make all this stuff look easy on TV.
You know, with Donna Reed raising the kids.
You never saw Carl Betts doing any of this.
- I'm not Donna Reed.
- Oh, thank God.
You'd spend a fortune on hairspray.
Are you okay? Yeah.
Uh-huh.
Well, I mean, you know, it's like women do this.
They have to.
It's sort of like a duty.
They don't hate it.
They don't say they can't do it.
They just do it.
- Do you hate it? - No, no, I really don't.
I I, uh It's just, you know, me staying home it just feels unnatural.
It's like I'm home sick from school and the whole world is passing me by.
I mean, I just thought that I I should know what I want.
Nobody knows what they want.
You're probably on your death bed, and you have this revelation.
I should've been a figure skater or a dancer - Or a - Bowler.
A bowler.
- [Emma crying.]
- All right.
All right, sweetheart.
- Yeah.
Yeah.
- Hi.
- That's right.
- Here.
Here.
I got it.
- Yes.
- How is she? She's a little fussy.
I think I'm gonna rock her.
How was she this morning? She sleep? Not much.
She didn't poop, either.
She poop for you? - She didn't poop.
- She didn't poop? Great.
It's unbelievable how much spit-up a little baby can hold.
So what did you do this afternoon? I rode for about 45 minutes, and I worked on Emma's birth certificate.
- We have to send that in.
- So send it in.
- What about the last name? - Hart.
All right.
We have to talk about this.
We have talked about this.
Yeah, but, see, it's her name.
It's her life.
- That's right.
It's her life.
- So, right.
Who knows? She may hate Emma one day and want to change it - to Rosebud or Chrysalis something.
- Okay, but I'm her father.
- What about my name? - So I'm the mother.
Right.
And your last name is your father's last name.
[fake chuckling.]
What about a hyphenate? Oh, come on.
I told you I hate that.
Suppose she marries someone with a hyphen and likes that name, and suddenly she's Emma Hart-Shepherd- Anderson-Mankewitz? I don't want to talk about this.
I'm tired.
- Oh, and I'm not? - You know what I mean.
I had to work all day.
- It was crazy.
- You think I don't do anything around here, right? [chuckles.]
Of course you do.
I'm the one that gets up in the middle of the night to feed her.
Well, I would if I could.
If I could lactate.
You could if you wanted to.
- What, breast feed? - Men are equipped to do it.
- It just takes practice.
- Oh, great.
Where'd you read that, in Reader's Digest? - You just don't want it to be true.
- Oh, listen Okay, look.
- I get up at night all the time.
- Not as much as I do.
And I'm here.
I'm here in the house all day long.
- So now you don't like it.
- I didn't say that.
Fine.
So you pick out a name for her.
Any name you like.
I don't care.
Of course, "Shepherd" makes a lot of sense, the way you feel about your father.
- Wait.
Don't bring my father into this.
- Why not? - You do every chance you get.
- Fine.
He's my father.
He was a crummy parent.
But it's relevant to what we're talking about.
What? Talking about him over and over You're not listening to me.
I didn't pick my parents, all right? Nobody gets to pick them.
Not even Emma.
You think if I'd been able to choose, I would've chosen my parents? [chiming.]
So what's your opinion? I don't have an opinion.
- Sure you do.
Tell me.
- Gary I'm asking you.
Tell me.
Okay.
I think you've avoided every single decision in your life.
- That's pretty much - You asked me.
I'm telling you.
You blame everything on the past.
You can't control what's going on today, this minute, your career, getting married.
You can't even come up with a last name for your baby.
I think it's about time you concentrate on growing up.
She's asleep.
[clacking.]
Why can't Emma do this yet? I can do this.
Your mother went back to the hotel.
So? Well, I think Eileen was pretty clear.
Yeah.
Well, what she had to say applies to you, too, you know? I know that.
I'm not denying that.
It's ridiculous we can't give Emma a last name.
Your mother's right.
I don't make decisions.
You don't make decisions.
Granted, we're both operating on two hours of sleep a night.
I'm amazed we're both alive.
Why do I get the feeling that everyone's ganging up on me? We are.
I wish you All right.
You don't understand my mother, you know? - You really don't.
- Seems pretty obvious you don't either.
- Explain her to me.
- No, that's I mean Just, what do you want from her? What do you want her to do? What I want, or wanted [sighs.]
She All right.
She never made waves, all right? My father could do anything, say anything, and she'd just stand there, smile like the perfect wife.
Everything's great.
Everything's just the way it's supposed to be.
A family of denial.
[stammering.]
She always stood up for him, defended him.
And I guess I just wanted her once just once to fight back.
So all this time, you hold it against her because she didn't stand up to your father? That seems pretty stupid.
Seems to me, she was the one holding the family together.
- Look, all right.
- [Emma crying.]
- [sighs.]
- My turn.
No, no, I think it's my turn.
What are you blaming her for? For how you turned out? Seems to me up until about two days ago, she did a pretty good job.
- You want to take the others? - Yes.
- All right.
- Excuse me.
- Hi.
- Am I bothering you? - No, no, no.
Come on in.
- I'm gonna get started on this phone call.
Thanks, Rosie.
Please, come on in.
- How'd you get down here? - I took a cab.
- Is it always like this? - Uh, just Monday through Friday.
Can I get you some coffee, juice? No.
No, thank you.
I just wanted to stop by and apologize.
I think I was a little out of line.
You were blunt.
I happen to like blunt.
Sometimes I don't know how Gary and I get by.
- Oh, you're good for him.
- No.
Sure you are.
I mean, the two of you spar together, and that's good for him because he doesn't get to win all the time.
I've let him win a couple of times, just to keep him on his toes.
Art never let him win.
But you're not gonna have that problem with Emma.
No, I'll have a million other things to worry about.
Like how she won't remember she has a mother.
She'll remember.
I don't know.
Oh the world is so different.
I really envy you, Susannah.
You have a choice.
I didn't.
[chattering.]
[children shouting.]
[Emma cooing.]
Hi, sweetheart.
Hello.
Hello.
She's amazing.
She doesn't know anything.
She looks at this balloon, and she doesn't know what it is.
She just sees a big shape.
I think that's the best part about having children watching them learn.
It's like you learn about things all over again.
And the worst part? When they don't understand.
You know, when they're little, and you say to them, "Now, don't touch that.
That's hot.
" Sometimes they have to touch it anyway.
They burn their fingers, but then they know.
- Gary - I want to say something.
And I'll never say it again.
But I want you to know that my whole life, I saw what he did my father and how he did it.
All right? I mean I mean, the phoniness sending Christmas cards to people you hate, and the dinner parties with business associates where everyone gets a little bit too drunk, and that absolute need to dominate every conversation.
And I can't I just can't let go of it, because because I'm I'm just too scared I'm gonna pass the same mistakes on to my daughter.
- You won't.
- But I don't know that.
I mean And that's why I'm doing this, all right? To maybe just maybe do it right.
I think it's wonderful.
No.
You don't approve.
It's not a question of approval.
I really do think it's wonderful.
Your father never changed a diaper in his life.
You think I was happy about that? But, you see, it's only wonderful if you want to do it.
[sighs.]
I'm not sure you do.
[Emma cooing.]
You know what hurts me? Your father lived his whole life trying to prove something to himself and to everyone around him.
And he was a success.
And you're so busy trying not to be your father, you're doing exactly the same thing.
You've got to decide what you really want.
[cooing continues.]
[chuckles.]
Do you know who she looks like? Who? Me.
[chuckles.]
Hi.
Hey.
Oh look at her.
- She's so - Oblivious.
Yeah.
What are you doing? Oh, just some stuff.
Looks like a résumé.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I thought I'd add parenting, you know? I thought I could squeeze it in there right between my article on "Gilgamesh: the Subtext" and carpentry skills.
So you're thinking of looking for a job? - Eventually.
- When is eventually? - I don't know.
- What about Emma? Well, we'll have to deal with that.
I thought we were dealing with that.
- Right.
- I'm back at work.
Right.
Which is great.
Which is great.
But we have a baby now, and we have to own up to that.
We have to make it work.
- You want me to stay home with her.
- No.
No.
I want Emma to be loved, to be safe, to grow up and have a wonderful life.
I want that, too.
So we'll have to make some sacrifices.
- I have to work.
- Right.
So do I.
I know this is scary, but we'll just have to figure it out.
We're not kids anymore.
She is.
What's gonna happen to her? I don't know.
Suppose she grows up to be Phyllis Schlafly.
Suppose she wants to have sex one day.
Ohhh Suppose she grows up without a last name? Ah.
Actually, I have this idea.
- What? - You're gonna love this.
- The phone book, you know? - Yeah.
I figure we go through the phone book and, uh, pick out names until we find one that we both like.
- Oh, come on.
- It'll work.
You'll love it.
You'll love this.
- No.
- Why not? Try it.
Let's try it.
You go first.
Ready? Just close your eyes and point.
- Oh.
- Wu.
Emma Wu.
I don't think so.
Emma Wu.
- All right.
My turn.
- [finger taps page.]
- Emma Bovary.
- Oh, come on.
- That's not in there.
- Okay, okay, okay.
I'll do a real one.
I'll do a real one.
Emma Hart-Shepherd.
I thought you didn't like hyphenates.
I like a hyphenate a lot better than Emma Wu.
- You know, it's, uh - Yeah.
Yeah.
Should we Do we risk it? - Yeah.
- Yeah.
[muttering.]
- [Susannah.]
Wait.
- She'll go to sleep.
- She'll go to sleep.
- Right.
- She will.
Come on.
- We can't leave her.
- Yes, we can.
We'll go in the bedroom.
- No.
[muttering, chuckling.]
- Gary.
- Shh.
Closed-Captioned By J.
R.
Media Services, Inc.
Burbank, CA And dance by the light of the moon