Top Gear (US) s03e09 Episode Script
RVs
Now on "Top Gear" Wagon power! We build our own RVs.
Ohh! And fight over which is best on a road trip across the deep South.
Oh, no, I got a bad start.
What could possibly go wrong? Boyfriend, you are hot.
Now, what are we drinking? Sourced by David Coleman Nearly one in ten Americans own an RV, but being able to sleep where you want comes at a price.
A top of the line RV can set you back over $400,000.
So "Top Gear" asked us to design our own RVs that were not only comfortable, but fun to drive.
We met up at the Sycamore Lodge in North Carolina.
And I was the first to arrive.
Fun in my book means speed.
So for an RV to get my stamp of approval, it's gotta be able to do burnouts.
It's gotta be able to drift and go at least a buck thirty.
Which is why the 1983 Porsche 928S is perfect.
It goes 146 miles an hour.
It was the fastest production car in north America in 1983.
It's got 234 horsepower.
It's a 4.
7 liter v8.
This car is fast.
And yes, it has a giant rocket strapped to the roof because that is awesome.
It's lightweight.
It's about the most aerodynamic shape I could come up with.
And it's fully equipped with a sleeping bag and an alarm clock.
What more could a man need in an RV? So if you want a super fast fun car and you want to sleep everywhere, behold.
Holy crap.
Eh? '73 Buick Centurion, my friend.
Very rare.
They only made a little over 10,000 of these cars.
Convertible, fun to drive, and I see you noticed the Flatiron Building.
Wow.
Great, isn't it? An RV's your home away from home.
I told home with me.
This is only 10 blocks from my house.
Mine was a two-story apartment with 5 foot ceilings, a sleep loft, fully stocked bar, TV, and the oval office, all modeled after New York city's famous Flatiron Building.
- How much horsepower does this have? -250.
You're going nowhere.
You kidding? It's aerodynamically designed.
If there's one thing that man has made - that is truly aerodynamic - Right.
It's not the Flatiron Building, it's a rocket.
It looks like you're leaving a Russian parade in this thing.
Really? It looks like you have a cheesecake on your head.
Are you kidding? It's the Flatiron Building.
It's iconic.
What do you think Rut's gonna have? This is his world, the world of rving.
He's gonna have a ups truck with a porch.
That would have been a good idea, actually.
You're kidding.
That's not Rut.
That's some tuner guy in a Honda.
Feast your eyes on the mini winnie.
Right? It's a Miniature Winnebago.
This is an '89 Honda Civic.
Maybe one of the coolest cars ever made.
Maybe you didn't quite get what we were doing here.
We're building an RV that was fun.
Fun to drive and functional.
This is neither fun to drive nor functional.
I have a Porsche with a rocket on the roof.
I have the Flatiron Building on a Buick.
Ok, just a show of hands.
Who travels with NASCAR every weekend and is always surrounded by RVs? Oh, that's right, this guy.
Show of hands.
Who thinks someone that travels with nascar should have made a better choice than this? Obviously you guys don't know how cool a Honda Civic Wagon is and how much fun they are to drive.
First off, it's an EF, one of the best chassis Honda ever made.
But it's not an RV.
Guys, it's not what it looks like to get there, it's what it's like once you set it up to camp.
It looks like crap now, but once we get there, it gets even crappier.
Wow.
I can only assume which is yours.
I'm gonna say maybe 10,000 pound monstrosity is what rving is all about? This has plenty of room.
What is rving? You want to bring your home away from home.
Fun is this.
A Porsche with a rocket on top.
I have a toilet, ok? You obviously crap in the car.
Look at all this stuff in here.
You look like a rolling hoarder.
Once we get to the campsite, I get this thing all set up, you're gonna see, best RV ever made.
Where's the campsite? Well, I got these spot numbers.
Yeah.
I'm 81.
- 79.
- And I'm 80.
Well, you know what that means.
What? We have to race there.
I have to run.
- Hey, Rut.
- Hey.
- Watch this launch.
- Oh, come on.
Stuck behind Rutledge.
There has got to be, ooh, a better way.
Whoa.
Shortcut! Where's he going? Just driving around, Porsche, off road, at 70 miles an hour with a rocket on top.
Normal campground stuff.
Oh, he's gonna tip that thing over.
He's going so fast.
Whoa! A little bit of body roll.
Basically because there's a building on top of a Buick.
Ohh! Honda Civic Wagon! Wagon power! Give me an opening, Rut.
What if I drop a building on you? You wouldn't like that, would you? All right, space number 80.
Space number 80.
Come on, give me an opening.
Where is it? Where is the number? Where oh! Good, I've just been passed by a building.
Really? Ha ha! What a psycho.
Where is he? Oh, really? What was that? I win.
What did you do to this tree? Tread lightly.
It's all right.
Good gosh.
Look at that.
Stands right back up.
Ok, so I win.
- Obviously I win.
- How did you win? You pulled in.
You have to back in.
You don't have to back in.
You can pull It's a camp I mean, it's who gets here first.
So you definitely did not win.
- Right here.
- I'm here and I am set up.
You're not even set up.
And you're gonna pull your rocket nose first? How rude is that? Absolutely.
I'm gonna go set mine up, and you guys will finally see what a real RV looks like.
Surprisingly roomy, these things.
I just got to adjust something.
- Where's he going? - Watch this.
What are you Wow.
Nice and easy.
And Wow, look at that.
There she goes.
That's how you RV, right there.
Look at that, huh.
Look at this.
- Hey, Rut.
- 5 feet the car just grew.
Yeah, that's perfect.
Oh, my gosh, look at all that space.
This is a kit, or did you make this? Oh, it's homemade.
I sell the plans on the Internet.
Uh-huh.
Let's go burn something.
That thing is awesome.
Yeah.
And that's how you cook.
Don't you need some food to cook? - I forgot the food.
- Yeah.
Well, there's got to be food around.
Are we staying here? Let's find out.
- Uh-oh.
- What? "You must now travel 120 miles to a NASCAR race "at Charlotte motor speedway "where you'll spend the night in the infield.
"On the way, you compete in a series of challenges "to test the practicality of your creations.
The first challenge is 70 miles from here.
" 70 miles? We're not even staying here.
Should we even tell Rut? Nah, he's so happy.
Just let him finish.
All right, there's my awning.
Ok.
Oh.
Oh, that's where that pole goes.
Can I use your bathroom? Come on in.
Now you come this way.
And this goes up.
Uh, really, that's the bathroom door right there? Yeah, I should have gotten a thicker curtain.
Ok.
Ok.
27 minute later, Tanner was relieved.
And Rut's refugee camper was closing in on completion.
Hey, Rut, how much longer do you have? You know what, I am almost there.
Just got to find I got an extension cord to plug in my bug zapper.
All right, Rut, so it's faster to break that thing down than set it up, right? Yeah.
- Good.
Break it down.
We got to go.
- What? We're not staying here.
Where are we staying? Charlotte.
We're camping in the infield.
Says who? Says the challenge read.
You've known this that whole time? Just the last 20 minutes or so.
Let's go.
Come on, pack it up.
Never go away and leave a fire burning.
You guys don't even know what a cool RV is.
It takes a little time, a little dedication.
After a half hour of whining, Rut had packed up.
So far our RVs had survived, but how would they handle the open road? The reason I built my RV off of a Honda Civic wagon is I wanted something that would still be fun to drive, be economical, get good gas mileage.
The car is a little bit louder than I had anticipated.
Because I had to cut the car in half, I had to turn the exhaust to come out on the front, so I didn't have room for a muffler or a catalytic converter.
So I'm basically just running an open header on this thing.
10 feet behind me, Adam seemed blissfully unaware that he had half a city block on his head.
This is open top motoring at its finest.
This is a combination of American big block muscle and architectural genius.
Now, the Centurion gets its name from the 1956 concept car.
That Buick Centurion had a fiberglass body and a bubble top.
It had a v8 motor.
And in the back, it had a turbine with a camera in it.
There was no rearview mirror.
It was the first backup camera.
Pretty cool, huh? Oh, my ears are bleeding! Over in the pocket rocket, Tanner had taken on the smugness of every Porsche driver in America.
I will say I am absolutely impressed.
The fastest RV on record right now is the Mercedes Westfalia with 139 miles an hour.
It's got nothing on this, though.
Zero to 60 in 6.
2 seconds and 146 mile and hour top speed potentially make this little rv combination right here the fastest in the world.
Tanner may have been happy driving under the world's largest suppository, but the drawbacks of driving a building were beginning to dawn on Adam.
The biggest problem I didn't anticipate was the wind.
When the wind picks up, you're pretty much just turning that way.
Ohh! There you go.
Yeah! That's it, big girl.
My hands are sweating just watching Adam drive that car.
I may have underestimated the complexities of driving Miss Daisy's entire apartment building, but at least the top was down and I could enjoy the fresh air.
The exhaust is a tiny bit loud.
And it's dumping into the car.
Whoo! I think I might be getting high.
30 miles into our journey and I was loving my design.
Nothing was gonna stop my RV from making it to Charlotte.
For Adam, well, there was at least one thing in his way.
Oh, bridge.
Oh, I don't like bridges.
I really hope that's bigger than 13 feet.
Coming up, we drag our RVs to Charlotte motor speedway.
Come on! Get ahead of that rocket, baby! And head into the eye of the storm.
We're on a road trip across the South in RVs we designed ourselves to find out if we could improve the performance of these highway behemoths.
My Porsche rocket won the first speed challenge, but as we headed to our second challenge, Adam was having some trouble.
Oh, a bridge.
Oh, I don't like bridges.
I really hope that's bigger than 13 feet.
Here we go.
I didn't wreck it.
Yet.
With both Adam and Rut's RVs already showing their weaknesses, we arrived at the location of our next challenge A famous 4 wide drag strip in Concord, North Carolina.
Yes.
Ha ha! Gentlemen, I know we could be here to breed turkeys or something, but the fact that we're lined up on a drag strip leads me to believe that you're about to get your ass kicked.
Are you kidding me? We're at a drag race.
I'm in a Porsche with A rocket on the top of it.
- Exactly.
- You're kidding me.
This is a day I have dreamed of.
Yeah.
To maybe get the chance to run 4 wide at the ZMAX dragway, this is gonna be awesome.
Look how happy he is.
He's gonna lose, but look how happy he is.
You don't know.
That Honda Civic wagon is amazing.
You're gonna step on the gas, and the front of your car is gonna go forward and the back of your car is gonna stay here.
As light as it is, I would win.
The next test of our RVs would be a race to the end of the drag strip and back against this, a $400,000, 450 horsepower, top-of-the-line Newmar Mountain Aire.
Now first off, I would like to point out that I have a huge advantage here because number one, I'm not in a class "A" motor home, and number two, I don't have some gigantic hunk of crap strapped to the roof of my car like those two idiots do.
All right, let's go! Let's do this.
I do think we should stay.
Oh, yeah.
Here we go.
Oh, he didn't go! Oh! That damn rocket! Oh, no, I got a bad start.
Oh, boy.
I wasn't paying attention.
I'm ahead of the motor home! Second gear.
There it is! I'm ahead of the Honda.
It's pretty quick, actually.
Coming up on a big turn.
Easy, big girl.
There you go.
Nearing the halfway point, our creations had already left the class "A" Newmar Mountain Aire in the dust.
It was now a race for pride.
The tight turning space should have favored my Porsche, but I couldn't make the turn till Rut's Honda was out of the way.
Get out of the way, Rutledge.
Get out of the way.
Get out of the way.
Get out of the way.
Get out of the way.
But on my side of the track, the coast was clear.
Let's go! Come on, Rut.
Ha ha ha! That's it! How is Adam winning? Not gonna happen, Adam.
Not gonna happen.
Come on! Get ahead of that rocket, baby! Yeah! That's right, cheese head.
Whoo! Come on! Oh, dammit! Yeah.
Just barely takes down Adam.
Yes! I don't suck! Oh, great.
Great, great, great.
Even Adam beat me, and I barely beat the motor home.
- Ha ha ha! - That's what I'm talking about.
That's what you're talking about? You almost got beat by a building.
All the sudden you were ahead.
Yes, I was.
But then the power of the Porsche and the aerodynamics of the rocket came together.
Planned perfectly.
Ok, listen.
I am very pleased that I did not die or flip over, which I thought was a possibility.
What happened to you? At the last minute, I got nervous that I hadn't put it back in first.
Once I had stayed So as soon as you checked it, the light went? Yes.
Just a hair behind.
This is awesome.
If we just stick to racing events, this is gonna be a great day.
Gentlemen, I am so pleased I'm still alive.
- What's next? - You should be.
With Tanner taking his second wind, we hit the road for the 20 mile drive to our next challenge.
So far both challenges had been about speed and handling, but rving is also about comfort, and I was hoping our next test would give my Flatiron a chance to shine.
So, Tanner, explain to me again the theory behind your RV.
The fact is, for me, rving is not all about the destination, it's the journey.
It's having fun sitting on Most of rving is spent with your ass in the driver's seat.
So if my ass is gonna be in a driver's seat, it's gonna be in a Porsche.
You guys wouldn't believe how nice it is to drive this Civic wagon around town.
Ac's blowing, I'm comfortable as could be.
It's a lot it's sporty.
Sporty is how I would describe this car.
It's like Rut, it's like you're talking to me from a crop duster.
What? Ha ha ha! I do think if I had spent a little more time, I might have made this a hair more airtight.
A lot of wind noise From everywhere.
I'm having a good time.
This is the Porsche that I've always wanted to drive.
And I am genuinely getting to drive it.
I don't even feel this giant thing on the roof.
I see it.
I'm amazed it's there because this car still feels good.
Adam, once he is stopped, probably has the best living situation, but getting from "A" to "B," most dangerous thing ever.
Oh! Easy, big girl.
It's like an earthquake.
The whole building shook.
We were only 15 miles from Charlotte motor speedway when we reached the location of our next challenge.
Boy, this thing hates to stop.
It doesn't like to go, either.
A good RV should protect you from the elements.
So in our next challenge, we'd be up against these industrial fan capable of generating 80 mile per hour winds and rain.
We each had to get into our RV's living space and change into rain gear in the shortest time, all while being pelted by the remnants of Rut's 30th birthday party.
All right, this is how I see this working.
My rocket is made of cardboard.
Cardboard gets wet and turns into a sponge.
It turns soft.
It goes bad.
It does all the wrong stuff.
So I figure I got about two minutes, maybe 3.
- Let me ask you something.
- Yeah.
If the water is cold, does his rocket shrink? Gentlemen, I'm ready.
The rocket is loaded.
We're ready for launch.
Are you ready for the perfect storm? Light it.
Ok, here we go! Ok, that's windy.
Flying flamingo.
Ahh! Oh, no! Oh, man, his rocket's falling apart.
Ahh! Get out of here, flamingo! Take that, rocket boy! Hang on! Abort, abort, I'm coming out.
This is awesome! Houston, we have a problem.
Yes! Oh, yes! You have not defeated me! What in the hell was that? What happened? What happened to your rain suit? It blew out of the frickin' car.
If you're not wearing your raincoat, - I think that - Yeah, you're disqualified.
- You lose.
- Whatever.
What was his time? Well, your time was 1:17.
Which would be a great time.
If you finished.
- If you finished.
- But you didn't.
- DNF.
- DNF.
You did not finish.
Dis not functioning.
Dis not functioning.
All right, who's up next, then? - I'll go.
- Yeah, ok.
Coming up, my Flatiron gets a steam clean.
Ohh! And we go head-to-head with some nascar greats.
Adam flipped over! Top Gear had challenged us to redesign the RV.
We are headed to Charlotte motor speedway.
My rocket Porsche had easily won the first two challenges but didn't weather the storm challenge so well.
- You're disqualified.
- Whatever.
Adam was up next.
I practically won already.
I was the only one smart enough to design an RV where I don't have to get out of the car to get home.
There's so much stuff to throw.
Should we, like, divide who's going to throw what? I would just Don't.
Don't say anything.
Hey, are you two done with your picnic? We're ready when you are.
Let it rain! Ohh! Ohh! Oh, yeah, it's payback time! This is going to be cake.
Oww! Ow.
Break the window! Give it the trash can.
Yeah! It may have looked like the aftermath of an earthquake, but no matter what we threw at it, Adam's ridiculous Buick still stood.
That's right! Public housing, baby.
Man, that thing is solid.
Good girl! Yes! That one sucked.
That was so good.
Huh? Yeah! - It was perfect! - Perfect?! I got my suit on.
How great was that? 1:44.
- Yes! - Really? 1:44, and everyone is safe.
You threw two trash cans! You threw real trash cans? No.
Mm-mmm.
- You're a dirty little man.
- It's a city.
- You're in New York.
- You go next.
Oh, my gosh, you're dead.
Ohh.
No, you know what, you win.
You win.
Let's keep going.
It's a good thing you're going to be protected by that sheet.
Yeah.
It's it's a canvas tent, thank you.
You going to have to wear your shield protector.
It's oiled canvas.
You're going to be fine.
Do you think he knows his back window is open a little bit? Ah, it doesn't matter.
He's going to open the whole car up, right? That's true.
You know how you say something enough, you start to believe it? I believe I am going to win this.
I believe I am going to win this.
Is he going to actually try to do the expando? Yeah! He has to.
He's going to open that thing up, set that whole thing up.
He's probably going to die.
Ohh.
These are going to suck.
All right, those seem totally Wind and waterproof.
I'm ready, let's do it.
Fire it up! Holy crap! Oh, my gosh! That is windy! This is so cold! Oh, man.
Oh, come on.
As you were, keep your head down.
All right.
It's getting time.
Oh, come on! No mercy! Seriously, Rut? That's not working.
Too much wind.
Here's a flamingo! There you go, Rut, picture death.
This may have been a bad idea.
Oh, come on! Get him with the chair, get him with the chair! As always, the bearded lady's grace and agility under pressure were a sight to behold.
Where you goin', Rut? Come on! The tent's not going to pitch itself! Forget the tent.
Come on, Rut.
You going to let an RV What are you doing, Rut? All right, stop the clock.
That just never gets old.
I swear I could do that all day.
So, Rut, this is what it looks like when it's all set up? Comfy.
What happened? Oh, my God.
You've been involved in an accident, sir.
Let me ask you something, were you scared? Yeah, I was scared! I almost couldn't breathe.
I could tell you were scared.
- So - Are these yours? Ooh.
No.
I think they blew off of you.
No, but I wish I wore a belt, because I'm having a wardrobe malfunction.
How long did it take me? - Give him his time.
- 3:04.
That was three minutes? That was the longest three minutes of my life! Oh, my gosh, I thought that was like 15 minutes.
Well, listen, you fought valiantly.
- Thank you.
- You lost.
Second place, though.
What's next? We're going to Charlotte, boys.
- Yeah! - Take off your pants.
I'm going to need a belt.
With my Buick victorious, Rut and Tanner patched up what was left of their RVs.
Our last two challenges were on race weekend at Charlotte motor speedway.
The first one was in the infield during qualifying.
Well, I'd say that, uh, didn't go so well.
The hurricane pretty much ruined the car.
It is now stuck in its open position.
My tent is a little wet.
So is my blanket and my pillow and my mattress.
Could be worse.
Could have a Honda Civic wagon that looks like it was involved in a magician's trick gone bad, or a building with a tree branch in the top floor.
So, not all bad here.
We finally made it to Charlotte, along with 144,000 screaming fans who knew more about rving than we ever would.
We headed to our campsite, what's known as Redneck Hill.
This place was legendary, and Adam couldn't wait to share a slice of the big apple with the South.
Apparently there's going to be a lot of RVs here But not one like this.
This is actually a landmark.
Ohh.
Stay still, landmark.
But while Rut's micro machine may have been watered down, his level of enthusiasm definitely wasn't.
I'm really excited to head to the infield.
I mean, this is my place, these are my people.
How you doin'? I mean, it's like family.
It's like a family reunion here.
Look at Rutledge.
He's like the hoff in Germany.
They can't get enough of him.
He's going to get mobbed.
He has got camper groupies just waiting for him, with little life-size cut-outs of Rut.
But unfortunately for Rut, it wasn't just the groupies waiting to scratch his undercarriage.
Ohh! Are you going to be able to clear that? Just maintain throttle! Ohh! Oh, boy, hold on.
I got it.
Coming up, Tanner impresses the locals.
Boyfriend, you are hot.
Now what are we drinkin'? And Adam fears for his life.
I'm going to die in a Buick! "Top Gear" had sent us to North Carolina to see which one of us could create an RV that was actually fun to drive.
So far, Tanner's rocket Porsche had won the campground and drag races, while Adam's Flatiron Buick kept taking the storm challenge.
Yes! Now we were at Charlotte motor speedway Rutledge! For our next challenge.
Oh, this is it! Charlotte motor speedway under the lights.
Ok, we have made it to Redneck Hill.
I didn't make that up.
I think I found our spot.
Our next challenge was to throw a tailgate party.
Whoever got the most guests would win.
Look at this.
This is great.
Ohh! How cool is that? - Holy crap! - Yeah.
That's almost as fast as my rig.
- I know.
- That's loud.
I got two words for you guys tonight Yeah, come on! Isn't that three words? Rut may have been on his home turf, but I was going to win, because I had the only RV that could actually fit a party.
Plus, I was offering the finest cuisine New York had to offer.
Those two idiots didn't stand a chance.
Oh, that won't open.
Nothing like some box wine at a NASCAR track.
Can you smell it? They're going to be flocking around like flies.
NASCAR qualifying nights mean that the drivers all have to stick around the track to see who qualifies where.
And it wasn't long before one of my buddies, Kenny Wallace, popped by to check in on me.
In all your years of racing, have you ever seen such a fine RV as this? First of all, you're my hero for attempting something as crazy I noticed you went for the aerodynamic look.
Exactly! - Rutledge.
- Yeah? Are you kidding me? The crapper is right here next to me? Is that convenient or what? My RV may not have had enough room inside to party, but that's not what my rocket RV was about.
I've been having fun the whole way.
I've been drifting every corner I possibly could, going 110 miles an hour wherever I could.
You want to listen to it? But over in the Flatiron, Adam's New York shtick was falling on deaf ears.
Come on up and see the Flatiron Building in the fire-breathing Buick! Come on up and get a weiner! Lady, you want a weiner? Meanwhile, I was partying it up.
Boom! It's keg time.
Come on, man, pour it up.
Pro driver Carl Edwards took pity on Tanner.
- You ok, or - Yeah, no, I'm ok.
- Need a ride or something? - No.
Are you kidding me? I got my home away from home right here.
How fast does your motor home go? Not as fast as your rocket, I'm sure.
Yeah.
But Tanner's Porsche wasn't the only pity party.
NASCAR driver Greg Biffle decided to keep poor Adam company.
Push your hatch up and you get in this way.
I love it.
Right here's the living room.
What is the rubber boot for? If you wanted it, I would leave it for you.
Rut's keg was drawing in NASCAR fans like pigs to mud.
But as the night wore on, things got weirder for all of us.
God bless America and God bless the infield - of Charlotte motor speedway.
- There you go.
And we're with this high cat! Whoo-hoo.
- Come on, cheers! - Cheers.
Well, except for Adam, who was still working the crowd.
Come on up and see the fire-breathing buick! It's not just an RV, it's an experience.
Boyfriend, you are hot.
Now what are we drinking? You have a pet squirrel? Yeah, can you feed it? Whoa! Sweet! Hot dogs! Marshmallows! Come on by! Grab a weiner! Now we got a little video camera.
Oh, goodness, oh, wow.
I love it.
You know, if you need it, there's a crapper in the passenger seat.
I don't think they really understood the Flatiron building, you know? You get it, don't you? In a vicious blow to good taste, Rut's keg party turned out to be the biggest draw.
And with the qualifying laps and the keg finish, we all stumbled into our RVs to hit the sack.
Good night, Rut.
Good night, Tanner.
Freaks.
This is warm.
Oh it's wet.
After a terrible night's sleep, I woke up with a vague memory of betting Kenny Wallace and a couple other drivers that we could beat them in a race on the speedway's dirt track.
Oh, boy.
What have we gotten ourselves into? Holy Tanner had won two challenges and Adam and I had taken one each, so we decided to make the final challenge a winner takes all.
We'd race six laps of the track us against real NASCAR drivers in real RVs.
Driving the 1994 Airstream Land Yacht was Max Papis.
In the '98 Fleetwood Flair was Kenny Wallace.
And over in the '96 Georgie Boy Pursuit, Hermie Sadler.
We're racing against three of the best here.
I can't lie I am a little bit nervous here.
I'm not quite sure what we got ourselves into.
I do think I'm in a better situation than these two boneheads.
Look at Rutledge.
He's got a roll cage on the back part of his Honda but nothing protecting him in the front.
Plus, he's going to be driving an accordion.
That's scary.
Adam has somehow managed to drive that thing this far without flipping it over.
That rein, I believe, has come to an end.
It's go time.
Come on, baby, it's me and you.
Yeah! I'm dead.
I'm just dead.
Oh, man! Here we go! Oh, they're all running.
I'm going right past.
All right, I'll sneak through.
Oh, yeah! The Porsche's so fast! Oh, Tanner's in front! How the hell did he get in there? Whoo! Welcome to an early lead.
I got Tanner on the high line! Yeah! Uh-oh! Oh! Oh, hold on, hold on.
Oh, that's scary.
I don't know how many wheels are on the ground! We crossed North Carolina to find out who designed the best custom RV.
So far, my Porsche rocket won the campground and drag race Whoo! Adam's Flatiron Buick had won the storm challenge, and Rut's pop up Honda had attracted the most tailgaters.
Ahh! Thank you.
Now were on our final challenge Six lap race around Charlotte motor speedway's dirt track.
Winner takes all.
Oh, that's scary! I don't know how many wheels are on the ground.
After one lap, I was in the lead, followed by Rut in the Mini-Wini with Adam bringing up the rear.
Oh, yeah, baby! I'm going to get behind, I'm going to smack you in the ass and close that Honda up! Two laps in, I finally pass the Ha ha! Get out of my way! Oh, this is so dangerous! This is so unbelievably dangerous! And we weren't the only ones finding the track conditions rough.
Three laps deep.
I still held the lead, but after playing possum for half the race, the NASCAR pros suddenly decided the best defense is a good offense.
I'm being chased! Oh! I am getting pelted with mud from every direction! Ha ha ha! Yes! Took 'em on the high side! Ohh! There's an RV about to run over me! That crazy redneck's going to kill me! Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! I'm going to die in a Buick! Adam flipped over! That wasn't That's not good.
With Adam out of the race and my Porsche around the bend, it was time to have some fun.
I think you hear me knockin'! Get off me! I think Tanner's trying to wreck me.
The NASCAR pros got bored of being the slower vehicles It's all down to me versus Rut.
Who knew the Porsche was going to be so good?! Who knew it? Oh! Oh, Tanner, I'm busting Adam.
Holy crap.
I was a lap and half ahead of Rut.
Victory was a lock headed into the home stretch.
Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! But it turned out the ol' Porsche had nothing left to give.
Hey, my engine's dead.
Porsche's dead, Porsche's Dead.
With Tanner out just yards from the finish line, all I had to do was complete the last lap intact and my Civic would be victorious.
Come on, wagon, you can do it! Now I just got to dodge all the debris! Last turn, here we go.
Oh, I made it! I made it! I am the winner.
Oh, man.
I totally won it.
- You know what's annoying? - What's that? This.
Whoo! - Wait, are you ok? - Yeah, I'm all right.
Whoo! My pocket rocked failed at the last minute.
And Adam's building wasn't up to code, which meant we were both stranded.
- You know what's not dead? - What? - The Honda.
- Well, the Buick isn't dead.
I've just got to push it over.
You guys help me, I'll drive out of this.
You guys need a lift? You got room in there? There's room in this beautiful winner's car.
Get us out of here.
Ok, everybody hold on! Good God! I think everyone could agree The Mini-Wini's victory proved that it takes more than just strapping stupid crap to the top of your car to make a good RV.
Might want to close your eyes, it gets a little dusty back there.
Ohh! And fight over which is best on a road trip across the deep South.
Oh, no, I got a bad start.
What could possibly go wrong? Boyfriend, you are hot.
Now, what are we drinking? Sourced by David Coleman Nearly one in ten Americans own an RV, but being able to sleep where you want comes at a price.
A top of the line RV can set you back over $400,000.
So "Top Gear" asked us to design our own RVs that were not only comfortable, but fun to drive.
We met up at the Sycamore Lodge in North Carolina.
And I was the first to arrive.
Fun in my book means speed.
So for an RV to get my stamp of approval, it's gotta be able to do burnouts.
It's gotta be able to drift and go at least a buck thirty.
Which is why the 1983 Porsche 928S is perfect.
It goes 146 miles an hour.
It was the fastest production car in north America in 1983.
It's got 234 horsepower.
It's a 4.
7 liter v8.
This car is fast.
And yes, it has a giant rocket strapped to the roof because that is awesome.
It's lightweight.
It's about the most aerodynamic shape I could come up with.
And it's fully equipped with a sleeping bag and an alarm clock.
What more could a man need in an RV? So if you want a super fast fun car and you want to sleep everywhere, behold.
Holy crap.
Eh? '73 Buick Centurion, my friend.
Very rare.
They only made a little over 10,000 of these cars.
Convertible, fun to drive, and I see you noticed the Flatiron Building.
Wow.
Great, isn't it? An RV's your home away from home.
I told home with me.
This is only 10 blocks from my house.
Mine was a two-story apartment with 5 foot ceilings, a sleep loft, fully stocked bar, TV, and the oval office, all modeled after New York city's famous Flatiron Building.
- How much horsepower does this have? -250.
You're going nowhere.
You kidding? It's aerodynamically designed.
If there's one thing that man has made - that is truly aerodynamic - Right.
It's not the Flatiron Building, it's a rocket.
It looks like you're leaving a Russian parade in this thing.
Really? It looks like you have a cheesecake on your head.
Are you kidding? It's the Flatiron Building.
It's iconic.
What do you think Rut's gonna have? This is his world, the world of rving.
He's gonna have a ups truck with a porch.
That would have been a good idea, actually.
You're kidding.
That's not Rut.
That's some tuner guy in a Honda.
Feast your eyes on the mini winnie.
Right? It's a Miniature Winnebago.
This is an '89 Honda Civic.
Maybe one of the coolest cars ever made.
Maybe you didn't quite get what we were doing here.
We're building an RV that was fun.
Fun to drive and functional.
This is neither fun to drive nor functional.
I have a Porsche with a rocket on the roof.
I have the Flatiron Building on a Buick.
Ok, just a show of hands.
Who travels with NASCAR every weekend and is always surrounded by RVs? Oh, that's right, this guy.
Show of hands.
Who thinks someone that travels with nascar should have made a better choice than this? Obviously you guys don't know how cool a Honda Civic Wagon is and how much fun they are to drive.
First off, it's an EF, one of the best chassis Honda ever made.
But it's not an RV.
Guys, it's not what it looks like to get there, it's what it's like once you set it up to camp.
It looks like crap now, but once we get there, it gets even crappier.
Wow.
I can only assume which is yours.
I'm gonna say maybe 10,000 pound monstrosity is what rving is all about? This has plenty of room.
What is rving? You want to bring your home away from home.
Fun is this.
A Porsche with a rocket on top.
I have a toilet, ok? You obviously crap in the car.
Look at all this stuff in here.
You look like a rolling hoarder.
Once we get to the campsite, I get this thing all set up, you're gonna see, best RV ever made.
Where's the campsite? Well, I got these spot numbers.
Yeah.
I'm 81.
- 79.
- And I'm 80.
Well, you know what that means.
What? We have to race there.
I have to run.
- Hey, Rut.
- Hey.
- Watch this launch.
- Oh, come on.
Stuck behind Rutledge.
There has got to be, ooh, a better way.
Whoa.
Shortcut! Where's he going? Just driving around, Porsche, off road, at 70 miles an hour with a rocket on top.
Normal campground stuff.
Oh, he's gonna tip that thing over.
He's going so fast.
Whoa! A little bit of body roll.
Basically because there's a building on top of a Buick.
Ohh! Honda Civic Wagon! Wagon power! Give me an opening, Rut.
What if I drop a building on you? You wouldn't like that, would you? All right, space number 80.
Space number 80.
Come on, give me an opening.
Where is it? Where is the number? Where oh! Good, I've just been passed by a building.
Really? Ha ha! What a psycho.
Where is he? Oh, really? What was that? I win.
What did you do to this tree? Tread lightly.
It's all right.
Good gosh.
Look at that.
Stands right back up.
Ok, so I win.
- Obviously I win.
- How did you win? You pulled in.
You have to back in.
You don't have to back in.
You can pull It's a camp I mean, it's who gets here first.
So you definitely did not win.
- Right here.
- I'm here and I am set up.
You're not even set up.
And you're gonna pull your rocket nose first? How rude is that? Absolutely.
I'm gonna go set mine up, and you guys will finally see what a real RV looks like.
Surprisingly roomy, these things.
I just got to adjust something.
- Where's he going? - Watch this.
What are you Wow.
Nice and easy.
And Wow, look at that.
There she goes.
That's how you RV, right there.
Look at that, huh.
Look at this.
- Hey, Rut.
- 5 feet the car just grew.
Yeah, that's perfect.
Oh, my gosh, look at all that space.
This is a kit, or did you make this? Oh, it's homemade.
I sell the plans on the Internet.
Uh-huh.
Let's go burn something.
That thing is awesome.
Yeah.
And that's how you cook.
Don't you need some food to cook? - I forgot the food.
- Yeah.
Well, there's got to be food around.
Are we staying here? Let's find out.
- Uh-oh.
- What? "You must now travel 120 miles to a NASCAR race "at Charlotte motor speedway "where you'll spend the night in the infield.
"On the way, you compete in a series of challenges "to test the practicality of your creations.
The first challenge is 70 miles from here.
" 70 miles? We're not even staying here.
Should we even tell Rut? Nah, he's so happy.
Just let him finish.
All right, there's my awning.
Ok.
Oh.
Oh, that's where that pole goes.
Can I use your bathroom? Come on in.
Now you come this way.
And this goes up.
Uh, really, that's the bathroom door right there? Yeah, I should have gotten a thicker curtain.
Ok.
Ok.
27 minute later, Tanner was relieved.
And Rut's refugee camper was closing in on completion.
Hey, Rut, how much longer do you have? You know what, I am almost there.
Just got to find I got an extension cord to plug in my bug zapper.
All right, Rut, so it's faster to break that thing down than set it up, right? Yeah.
- Good.
Break it down.
We got to go.
- What? We're not staying here.
Where are we staying? Charlotte.
We're camping in the infield.
Says who? Says the challenge read.
You've known this that whole time? Just the last 20 minutes or so.
Let's go.
Come on, pack it up.
Never go away and leave a fire burning.
You guys don't even know what a cool RV is.
It takes a little time, a little dedication.
After a half hour of whining, Rut had packed up.
So far our RVs had survived, but how would they handle the open road? The reason I built my RV off of a Honda Civic wagon is I wanted something that would still be fun to drive, be economical, get good gas mileage.
The car is a little bit louder than I had anticipated.
Because I had to cut the car in half, I had to turn the exhaust to come out on the front, so I didn't have room for a muffler or a catalytic converter.
So I'm basically just running an open header on this thing.
10 feet behind me, Adam seemed blissfully unaware that he had half a city block on his head.
This is open top motoring at its finest.
This is a combination of American big block muscle and architectural genius.
Now, the Centurion gets its name from the 1956 concept car.
That Buick Centurion had a fiberglass body and a bubble top.
It had a v8 motor.
And in the back, it had a turbine with a camera in it.
There was no rearview mirror.
It was the first backup camera.
Pretty cool, huh? Oh, my ears are bleeding! Over in the pocket rocket, Tanner had taken on the smugness of every Porsche driver in America.
I will say I am absolutely impressed.
The fastest RV on record right now is the Mercedes Westfalia with 139 miles an hour.
It's got nothing on this, though.
Zero to 60 in 6.
2 seconds and 146 mile and hour top speed potentially make this little rv combination right here the fastest in the world.
Tanner may have been happy driving under the world's largest suppository, but the drawbacks of driving a building were beginning to dawn on Adam.
The biggest problem I didn't anticipate was the wind.
When the wind picks up, you're pretty much just turning that way.
Ohh! There you go.
Yeah! That's it, big girl.
My hands are sweating just watching Adam drive that car.
I may have underestimated the complexities of driving Miss Daisy's entire apartment building, but at least the top was down and I could enjoy the fresh air.
The exhaust is a tiny bit loud.
And it's dumping into the car.
Whoo! I think I might be getting high.
30 miles into our journey and I was loving my design.
Nothing was gonna stop my RV from making it to Charlotte.
For Adam, well, there was at least one thing in his way.
Oh, bridge.
Oh, I don't like bridges.
I really hope that's bigger than 13 feet.
Coming up, we drag our RVs to Charlotte motor speedway.
Come on! Get ahead of that rocket, baby! And head into the eye of the storm.
We're on a road trip across the South in RVs we designed ourselves to find out if we could improve the performance of these highway behemoths.
My Porsche rocket won the first speed challenge, but as we headed to our second challenge, Adam was having some trouble.
Oh, a bridge.
Oh, I don't like bridges.
I really hope that's bigger than 13 feet.
Here we go.
I didn't wreck it.
Yet.
With both Adam and Rut's RVs already showing their weaknesses, we arrived at the location of our next challenge A famous 4 wide drag strip in Concord, North Carolina.
Yes.
Ha ha! Gentlemen, I know we could be here to breed turkeys or something, but the fact that we're lined up on a drag strip leads me to believe that you're about to get your ass kicked.
Are you kidding me? We're at a drag race.
I'm in a Porsche with A rocket on the top of it.
- Exactly.
- You're kidding me.
This is a day I have dreamed of.
Yeah.
To maybe get the chance to run 4 wide at the ZMAX dragway, this is gonna be awesome.
Look how happy he is.
He's gonna lose, but look how happy he is.
You don't know.
That Honda Civic wagon is amazing.
You're gonna step on the gas, and the front of your car is gonna go forward and the back of your car is gonna stay here.
As light as it is, I would win.
The next test of our RVs would be a race to the end of the drag strip and back against this, a $400,000, 450 horsepower, top-of-the-line Newmar Mountain Aire.
Now first off, I would like to point out that I have a huge advantage here because number one, I'm not in a class "A" motor home, and number two, I don't have some gigantic hunk of crap strapped to the roof of my car like those two idiots do.
All right, let's go! Let's do this.
I do think we should stay.
Oh, yeah.
Here we go.
Oh, he didn't go! Oh! That damn rocket! Oh, no, I got a bad start.
Oh, boy.
I wasn't paying attention.
I'm ahead of the motor home! Second gear.
There it is! I'm ahead of the Honda.
It's pretty quick, actually.
Coming up on a big turn.
Easy, big girl.
There you go.
Nearing the halfway point, our creations had already left the class "A" Newmar Mountain Aire in the dust.
It was now a race for pride.
The tight turning space should have favored my Porsche, but I couldn't make the turn till Rut's Honda was out of the way.
Get out of the way, Rutledge.
Get out of the way.
Get out of the way.
Get out of the way.
Get out of the way.
But on my side of the track, the coast was clear.
Let's go! Come on, Rut.
Ha ha ha! That's it! How is Adam winning? Not gonna happen, Adam.
Not gonna happen.
Come on! Get ahead of that rocket, baby! Yeah! That's right, cheese head.
Whoo! Come on! Oh, dammit! Yeah.
Just barely takes down Adam.
Yes! I don't suck! Oh, great.
Great, great, great.
Even Adam beat me, and I barely beat the motor home.
- Ha ha ha! - That's what I'm talking about.
That's what you're talking about? You almost got beat by a building.
All the sudden you were ahead.
Yes, I was.
But then the power of the Porsche and the aerodynamics of the rocket came together.
Planned perfectly.
Ok, listen.
I am very pleased that I did not die or flip over, which I thought was a possibility.
What happened to you? At the last minute, I got nervous that I hadn't put it back in first.
Once I had stayed So as soon as you checked it, the light went? Yes.
Just a hair behind.
This is awesome.
If we just stick to racing events, this is gonna be a great day.
Gentlemen, I am so pleased I'm still alive.
- What's next? - You should be.
With Tanner taking his second wind, we hit the road for the 20 mile drive to our next challenge.
So far both challenges had been about speed and handling, but rving is also about comfort, and I was hoping our next test would give my Flatiron a chance to shine.
So, Tanner, explain to me again the theory behind your RV.
The fact is, for me, rving is not all about the destination, it's the journey.
It's having fun sitting on Most of rving is spent with your ass in the driver's seat.
So if my ass is gonna be in a driver's seat, it's gonna be in a Porsche.
You guys wouldn't believe how nice it is to drive this Civic wagon around town.
Ac's blowing, I'm comfortable as could be.
It's a lot it's sporty.
Sporty is how I would describe this car.
It's like Rut, it's like you're talking to me from a crop duster.
What? Ha ha ha! I do think if I had spent a little more time, I might have made this a hair more airtight.
A lot of wind noise From everywhere.
I'm having a good time.
This is the Porsche that I've always wanted to drive.
And I am genuinely getting to drive it.
I don't even feel this giant thing on the roof.
I see it.
I'm amazed it's there because this car still feels good.
Adam, once he is stopped, probably has the best living situation, but getting from "A" to "B," most dangerous thing ever.
Oh! Easy, big girl.
It's like an earthquake.
The whole building shook.
We were only 15 miles from Charlotte motor speedway when we reached the location of our next challenge.
Boy, this thing hates to stop.
It doesn't like to go, either.
A good RV should protect you from the elements.
So in our next challenge, we'd be up against these industrial fan capable of generating 80 mile per hour winds and rain.
We each had to get into our RV's living space and change into rain gear in the shortest time, all while being pelted by the remnants of Rut's 30th birthday party.
All right, this is how I see this working.
My rocket is made of cardboard.
Cardboard gets wet and turns into a sponge.
It turns soft.
It goes bad.
It does all the wrong stuff.
So I figure I got about two minutes, maybe 3.
- Let me ask you something.
- Yeah.
If the water is cold, does his rocket shrink? Gentlemen, I'm ready.
The rocket is loaded.
We're ready for launch.
Are you ready for the perfect storm? Light it.
Ok, here we go! Ok, that's windy.
Flying flamingo.
Ahh! Oh, no! Oh, man, his rocket's falling apart.
Ahh! Get out of here, flamingo! Take that, rocket boy! Hang on! Abort, abort, I'm coming out.
This is awesome! Houston, we have a problem.
Yes! Oh, yes! You have not defeated me! What in the hell was that? What happened? What happened to your rain suit? It blew out of the frickin' car.
If you're not wearing your raincoat, - I think that - Yeah, you're disqualified.
- You lose.
- Whatever.
What was his time? Well, your time was 1:17.
Which would be a great time.
If you finished.
- If you finished.
- But you didn't.
- DNF.
- DNF.
You did not finish.
Dis not functioning.
Dis not functioning.
All right, who's up next, then? - I'll go.
- Yeah, ok.
Coming up, my Flatiron gets a steam clean.
Ohh! And we go head-to-head with some nascar greats.
Adam flipped over! Top Gear had challenged us to redesign the RV.
We are headed to Charlotte motor speedway.
My rocket Porsche had easily won the first two challenges but didn't weather the storm challenge so well.
- You're disqualified.
- Whatever.
Adam was up next.
I practically won already.
I was the only one smart enough to design an RV where I don't have to get out of the car to get home.
There's so much stuff to throw.
Should we, like, divide who's going to throw what? I would just Don't.
Don't say anything.
Hey, are you two done with your picnic? We're ready when you are.
Let it rain! Ohh! Ohh! Oh, yeah, it's payback time! This is going to be cake.
Oww! Ow.
Break the window! Give it the trash can.
Yeah! It may have looked like the aftermath of an earthquake, but no matter what we threw at it, Adam's ridiculous Buick still stood.
That's right! Public housing, baby.
Man, that thing is solid.
Good girl! Yes! That one sucked.
That was so good.
Huh? Yeah! - It was perfect! - Perfect?! I got my suit on.
How great was that? 1:44.
- Yes! - Really? 1:44, and everyone is safe.
You threw two trash cans! You threw real trash cans? No.
Mm-mmm.
- You're a dirty little man.
- It's a city.
- You're in New York.
- You go next.
Oh, my gosh, you're dead.
Ohh.
No, you know what, you win.
You win.
Let's keep going.
It's a good thing you're going to be protected by that sheet.
Yeah.
It's it's a canvas tent, thank you.
You going to have to wear your shield protector.
It's oiled canvas.
You're going to be fine.
Do you think he knows his back window is open a little bit? Ah, it doesn't matter.
He's going to open the whole car up, right? That's true.
You know how you say something enough, you start to believe it? I believe I am going to win this.
I believe I am going to win this.
Is he going to actually try to do the expando? Yeah! He has to.
He's going to open that thing up, set that whole thing up.
He's probably going to die.
Ohh.
These are going to suck.
All right, those seem totally Wind and waterproof.
I'm ready, let's do it.
Fire it up! Holy crap! Oh, my gosh! That is windy! This is so cold! Oh, man.
Oh, come on.
As you were, keep your head down.
All right.
It's getting time.
Oh, come on! No mercy! Seriously, Rut? That's not working.
Too much wind.
Here's a flamingo! There you go, Rut, picture death.
This may have been a bad idea.
Oh, come on! Get him with the chair, get him with the chair! As always, the bearded lady's grace and agility under pressure were a sight to behold.
Where you goin', Rut? Come on! The tent's not going to pitch itself! Forget the tent.
Come on, Rut.
You going to let an RV What are you doing, Rut? All right, stop the clock.
That just never gets old.
I swear I could do that all day.
So, Rut, this is what it looks like when it's all set up? Comfy.
What happened? Oh, my God.
You've been involved in an accident, sir.
Let me ask you something, were you scared? Yeah, I was scared! I almost couldn't breathe.
I could tell you were scared.
- So - Are these yours? Ooh.
No.
I think they blew off of you.
No, but I wish I wore a belt, because I'm having a wardrobe malfunction.
How long did it take me? - Give him his time.
- 3:04.
That was three minutes? That was the longest three minutes of my life! Oh, my gosh, I thought that was like 15 minutes.
Well, listen, you fought valiantly.
- Thank you.
- You lost.
Second place, though.
What's next? We're going to Charlotte, boys.
- Yeah! - Take off your pants.
I'm going to need a belt.
With my Buick victorious, Rut and Tanner patched up what was left of their RVs.
Our last two challenges were on race weekend at Charlotte motor speedway.
The first one was in the infield during qualifying.
Well, I'd say that, uh, didn't go so well.
The hurricane pretty much ruined the car.
It is now stuck in its open position.
My tent is a little wet.
So is my blanket and my pillow and my mattress.
Could be worse.
Could have a Honda Civic wagon that looks like it was involved in a magician's trick gone bad, or a building with a tree branch in the top floor.
So, not all bad here.
We finally made it to Charlotte, along with 144,000 screaming fans who knew more about rving than we ever would.
We headed to our campsite, what's known as Redneck Hill.
This place was legendary, and Adam couldn't wait to share a slice of the big apple with the South.
Apparently there's going to be a lot of RVs here But not one like this.
This is actually a landmark.
Ohh.
Stay still, landmark.
But while Rut's micro machine may have been watered down, his level of enthusiasm definitely wasn't.
I'm really excited to head to the infield.
I mean, this is my place, these are my people.
How you doin'? I mean, it's like family.
It's like a family reunion here.
Look at Rutledge.
He's like the hoff in Germany.
They can't get enough of him.
He's going to get mobbed.
He has got camper groupies just waiting for him, with little life-size cut-outs of Rut.
But unfortunately for Rut, it wasn't just the groupies waiting to scratch his undercarriage.
Ohh! Are you going to be able to clear that? Just maintain throttle! Ohh! Oh, boy, hold on.
I got it.
Coming up, Tanner impresses the locals.
Boyfriend, you are hot.
Now what are we drinkin'? And Adam fears for his life.
I'm going to die in a Buick! "Top Gear" had sent us to North Carolina to see which one of us could create an RV that was actually fun to drive.
So far, Tanner's rocket Porsche had won the campground and drag races, while Adam's Flatiron Buick kept taking the storm challenge.
Yes! Now we were at Charlotte motor speedway Rutledge! For our next challenge.
Oh, this is it! Charlotte motor speedway under the lights.
Ok, we have made it to Redneck Hill.
I didn't make that up.
I think I found our spot.
Our next challenge was to throw a tailgate party.
Whoever got the most guests would win.
Look at this.
This is great.
Ohh! How cool is that? - Holy crap! - Yeah.
That's almost as fast as my rig.
- I know.
- That's loud.
I got two words for you guys tonight Yeah, come on! Isn't that three words? Rut may have been on his home turf, but I was going to win, because I had the only RV that could actually fit a party.
Plus, I was offering the finest cuisine New York had to offer.
Those two idiots didn't stand a chance.
Oh, that won't open.
Nothing like some box wine at a NASCAR track.
Can you smell it? They're going to be flocking around like flies.
NASCAR qualifying nights mean that the drivers all have to stick around the track to see who qualifies where.
And it wasn't long before one of my buddies, Kenny Wallace, popped by to check in on me.
In all your years of racing, have you ever seen such a fine RV as this? First of all, you're my hero for attempting something as crazy I noticed you went for the aerodynamic look.
Exactly! - Rutledge.
- Yeah? Are you kidding me? The crapper is right here next to me? Is that convenient or what? My RV may not have had enough room inside to party, but that's not what my rocket RV was about.
I've been having fun the whole way.
I've been drifting every corner I possibly could, going 110 miles an hour wherever I could.
You want to listen to it? But over in the Flatiron, Adam's New York shtick was falling on deaf ears.
Come on up and see the Flatiron Building in the fire-breathing Buick! Come on up and get a weiner! Lady, you want a weiner? Meanwhile, I was partying it up.
Boom! It's keg time.
Come on, man, pour it up.
Pro driver Carl Edwards took pity on Tanner.
- You ok, or - Yeah, no, I'm ok.
- Need a ride or something? - No.
Are you kidding me? I got my home away from home right here.
How fast does your motor home go? Not as fast as your rocket, I'm sure.
Yeah.
But Tanner's Porsche wasn't the only pity party.
NASCAR driver Greg Biffle decided to keep poor Adam company.
Push your hatch up and you get in this way.
I love it.
Right here's the living room.
What is the rubber boot for? If you wanted it, I would leave it for you.
Rut's keg was drawing in NASCAR fans like pigs to mud.
But as the night wore on, things got weirder for all of us.
God bless America and God bless the infield - of Charlotte motor speedway.
- There you go.
And we're with this high cat! Whoo-hoo.
- Come on, cheers! - Cheers.
Well, except for Adam, who was still working the crowd.
Come on up and see the fire-breathing buick! It's not just an RV, it's an experience.
Boyfriend, you are hot.
Now what are we drinking? You have a pet squirrel? Yeah, can you feed it? Whoa! Sweet! Hot dogs! Marshmallows! Come on by! Grab a weiner! Now we got a little video camera.
Oh, goodness, oh, wow.
I love it.
You know, if you need it, there's a crapper in the passenger seat.
I don't think they really understood the Flatiron building, you know? You get it, don't you? In a vicious blow to good taste, Rut's keg party turned out to be the biggest draw.
And with the qualifying laps and the keg finish, we all stumbled into our RVs to hit the sack.
Good night, Rut.
Good night, Tanner.
Freaks.
This is warm.
Oh it's wet.
After a terrible night's sleep, I woke up with a vague memory of betting Kenny Wallace and a couple other drivers that we could beat them in a race on the speedway's dirt track.
Oh, boy.
What have we gotten ourselves into? Holy Tanner had won two challenges and Adam and I had taken one each, so we decided to make the final challenge a winner takes all.
We'd race six laps of the track us against real NASCAR drivers in real RVs.
Driving the 1994 Airstream Land Yacht was Max Papis.
In the '98 Fleetwood Flair was Kenny Wallace.
And over in the '96 Georgie Boy Pursuit, Hermie Sadler.
We're racing against three of the best here.
I can't lie I am a little bit nervous here.
I'm not quite sure what we got ourselves into.
I do think I'm in a better situation than these two boneheads.
Look at Rutledge.
He's got a roll cage on the back part of his Honda but nothing protecting him in the front.
Plus, he's going to be driving an accordion.
That's scary.
Adam has somehow managed to drive that thing this far without flipping it over.
That rein, I believe, has come to an end.
It's go time.
Come on, baby, it's me and you.
Yeah! I'm dead.
I'm just dead.
Oh, man! Here we go! Oh, they're all running.
I'm going right past.
All right, I'll sneak through.
Oh, yeah! The Porsche's so fast! Oh, Tanner's in front! How the hell did he get in there? Whoo! Welcome to an early lead.
I got Tanner on the high line! Yeah! Uh-oh! Oh! Oh, hold on, hold on.
Oh, that's scary.
I don't know how many wheels are on the ground! We crossed North Carolina to find out who designed the best custom RV.
So far, my Porsche rocket won the campground and drag race Whoo! Adam's Flatiron Buick had won the storm challenge, and Rut's pop up Honda had attracted the most tailgaters.
Ahh! Thank you.
Now were on our final challenge Six lap race around Charlotte motor speedway's dirt track.
Winner takes all.
Oh, that's scary! I don't know how many wheels are on the ground.
After one lap, I was in the lead, followed by Rut in the Mini-Wini with Adam bringing up the rear.
Oh, yeah, baby! I'm going to get behind, I'm going to smack you in the ass and close that Honda up! Two laps in, I finally pass the Ha ha! Get out of my way! Oh, this is so dangerous! This is so unbelievably dangerous! And we weren't the only ones finding the track conditions rough.
Three laps deep.
I still held the lead, but after playing possum for half the race, the NASCAR pros suddenly decided the best defense is a good offense.
I'm being chased! Oh! I am getting pelted with mud from every direction! Ha ha ha! Yes! Took 'em on the high side! Ohh! There's an RV about to run over me! That crazy redneck's going to kill me! Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! I'm going to die in a Buick! Adam flipped over! That wasn't That's not good.
With Adam out of the race and my Porsche around the bend, it was time to have some fun.
I think you hear me knockin'! Get off me! I think Tanner's trying to wreck me.
The NASCAR pros got bored of being the slower vehicles It's all down to me versus Rut.
Who knew the Porsche was going to be so good?! Who knew it? Oh! Oh, Tanner, I'm busting Adam.
Holy crap.
I was a lap and half ahead of Rut.
Victory was a lock headed into the home stretch.
Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! But it turned out the ol' Porsche had nothing left to give.
Hey, my engine's dead.
Porsche's dead, Porsche's Dead.
With Tanner out just yards from the finish line, all I had to do was complete the last lap intact and my Civic would be victorious.
Come on, wagon, you can do it! Now I just got to dodge all the debris! Last turn, here we go.
Oh, I made it! I made it! I am the winner.
Oh, man.
I totally won it.
- You know what's annoying? - What's that? This.
Whoo! - Wait, are you ok? - Yeah, I'm all right.
Whoo! My pocket rocked failed at the last minute.
And Adam's building wasn't up to code, which meant we were both stranded.
- You know what's not dead? - What? - The Honda.
- Well, the Buick isn't dead.
I've just got to push it over.
You guys help me, I'll drive out of this.
You guys need a lift? You got room in there? There's room in this beautiful winner's car.
Get us out of here.
Ok, everybody hold on! Good God! I think everyone could agree The Mini-Wini's victory proved that it takes more than just strapping stupid crap to the top of your car to make a good RV.
Might want to close your eyes, it gets a little dusty back there.