UnREAL (2015) s03e09 Episode Script

1 You've been stealing $18 million from me and Chet.
Probably shouldn't have put it all in an e-mail, Gary.
But I own your ass now.
GARY: You want the Emmy.
What do you want? Quinn's head.
This is an opportunity.
We are gonna take Gary down.
Is that Fiona? God! I'm selling a VR company I was running.
Chet has put me in charge of this fund-raising dinner.
It's the Chet Wilson Center for Reality Television Studies.
Crystal? It's just easier, Quinn.
You really are kind of a mess.
I'm not your patient anymore.
I'm not even your child.
I'm never coming back here.
George, what are you doing here? You know, I heard what you were saying about our relationship.
It really wasn't that special.
- [LAUGHS.]
- Madison, what did you do? [SOBS.]
You're one of the smartest people I've ever met.
Hey.
Whoa, whoa.
What are you doing? What does it look like I'm doing? No, this is totally inappropriate.
Mnh-mnh.
[BOTH BREATHING HEAVILY.]
You got a second? [BOTH BREATHING HEAVILY.]
[BIRDS CHIRPING.]
[STOPWATCH TICKING.]
[BREATHES DEEPLY, SIGHS.]
[TICKING QUICKENS.]
[TICKING FADES.]
[GROANS.]
"Moscow.
" [KNOCK ON DOOR.]
Come in.
Hey, so, I guess our sessions are over since I tried to bone you and you're not interested, so, bye.
Rachel, stop.
Come on in.
Take a seat.
I'm actually really glad you're here.
Why? What happened last night is extremely common.
This works involves a lot of trust and vulnerability, and those emotions can be overwhelming and confusing.
So, I'm basically a horny toddler? Do you want me to take a timeout and think about what I did? All I'm saying is, especially with your history, it's not surprising.
My history.
It seems like the people you become intimate with, you tend to sexualize your relationships.
Well, I haven't had sex for like nine months Uh, hadn't had sex.
Your loss.
- I have options.
- I have no doubt.
But the sex isn't the problem.
It's using sex to run away from intimacy.
It's hard for you to let people get close.
No.
[CHUCKLES.]
No way.
I have plenty of intimate relationships.
Quinn.
Fine.
Jay.
Have you spent time with him outside of work? Uh, Serena.
Listen, I actually care about what happens to her.
I am trying to help her get what she wants.
Told her a lot of things about my life.
We are friends.
You've known her for, what, like, six weeks? I've known her eight weeks.
- She's a contestant.
- That's not the point.
The point is how I feel.
You're just way off base about me and intimacy, dude.
[DOOR OPENS.]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
To take down Gary, we have to figure out what we're gonna do with his e-mails.
We've got to expose him for embezzlement.
The question is how.
I want public shame.
Abject humiliation.
You know, I want to watch that man weep into his $400 tie, pleading for mercy.
Total annihilation.
I like it.
[CHUCKLES.]
[KNOCK ON DOOR.]
[DOOR OPENS.]
Oh, my God.
I can't believe the fundraiser is tonight.
I know you guys are used to it.
It's just, it's so much pressure.
There's gonna be so many important people here.
All that press.
I just want it to be so perfect.
It will be perfect.
Well, maybe not for Gary.
No.
[BOTH CHUCKLE.]
- I'm gonna keep going.
- Okay.
- Okay.
- Bye.
[DOOR OPENS.]
DAN: Hey, Rach, we're resetting.
We're gonna need Serena's sweat lodge ready in 10.
- Yes.
I am on it.
- Hey, I have a question for you.
- Yeah? - We're friends, right? We've known each other, like, what is it, four years? Yeah.
Four years? Yeah, and we've, like, been in the trenches together.
I mean, you know, time invested, that's a thing.
Uh, yeah.
I Actually, I wanted to tell you, after what happened with your dad, that I had to put my dad in a home a few years back.
Had dementia.
Anyways, I just wanted to tell you that as much as they're all sick and stuff, that they still love you.
That's it.
That's all I wanted to say.
- Dan.
- Yeah.
Yeah.
Thanks.
Yeah, no problem.
I, um I do have to - I think that was - that was just really intimate.
Cool.
Just gonna Yep.
Okay.
Um All right, so, today's a new day.
How you feeling? Oh, like I completely blew it when I temporarily became a crazy person.
[CHUCKLES.]
I mean, I know that I have August.
What was that? Well, I, uh, I kind of might have definitely slept with August last night.
- Really? - Yeah.
It came out of having a crazy, awful day.
Just needed something to make myself feel better.
Great.
Like, I'm all for making yourself feel better.
What was that? Uh I may have had a pretty shit day myself yesterday.
Uh-huh.
I'm definitely feeling better since I slept with Alexi.
[LAUGHS.]
Wow.
Oh, you know, it's really nice to have a single friend again.
None of my married friends will take my boy-disaster calls anymore.
I'm telling you, you do not have a boy disaster.
It's crazy that you're even saying that.
Owen and Jasper wouldn't even look me in the eye last night.
You have not lost them.
Listen, I helped you yesterday with Jasper.
I'm gonna fix it again today with Owen.
Don't even worry about it.
I'm telling you that August, he's not your only option.
[SNAPS FINGERS.]
Come on.
You have mad skills.
You know that, right? I mean, they could be put to better use.
No offense to "Everlasting.
" No, no.
All offense to "Everlasting.
" - I'm serious.
- You should get out of here.
Come work for me.
Really, your CIA mind-game tricks, I mean, that is valuable.
You make people do what you want.
- Can I get one? Thanks.
- Sure.
And then you make them think it was their idea.
That's skills.
- I don't know.
- Seriously.
I'll double your salary.
I'll get you an apartment.
You could be home every night by 6:00.
You could have friends.
You could have a life.
Mm! That's a thing? - Uh-huh.
- Wow.
I'm serious.
I mean, you said August isn't my only option.
Well, "Everlasting" isn't yours.
Think about it.
Okay.
I will.
Tonight, Serena will choose one of her remaining three suitors to escort her to an elegant black-tie fundraiser.
But first, the heat is on I hate Graham.
with "Everlasting's" very own sweat lodge.
What better way to sweat out the challenges of each one of these relationships? All pores will be open as each couple gets closer and, dare I say, steamier than ever before? Okay, the sweat lodge odyssey, it's very spiritual, it's very cleansing, and it gets rid of all the bad juju.
And nobody has a problem with this offensive cultural appropriation? What? The word "juju"? It's authentic.
That's the way we did it in Patagonia.
Oh, yeah, right, at your rich, old white man's retreat.
Did you hunt the natives for sport there, too? Okay, look, let's just make sure our boys are authentically shirtless.
That is culturally appropriate.
JASPER: Rachel did this interview yesterday where she reduced me to an inconsolable mass.
[CHUCKLES.]
Huh.
I think I like the sound of this.
Tell me more.
[LAUGHS.]
The bottom line is, I-I judged you harshly for the incident with George because, well, it was a convenient way for me to sabotage myself.
And that's not what I want.
Not even close.
JAY: Let me guess, Rachel, all this groveling was your idea? What's your problem, buddy? Jasper is golden.
Yeah, of course, 'cause you're so good at producing my guys.
Hey, knock it off.
I don't care who did it.
Look at these two.
It's gonna be hot, hot, hot.
[CHANTING, DRUM BEATING.]
Oh.
Uh Once again, he's naked.
[LAUGHS.]
What's wrong? Are you shy all of a sudden? [LAUGHS.]
I'm not shy, just Aren't you worried about America? No.
Who cares? - Look.
- [SIGHS.]
I've been in a number of indigenous purification rituals, and you just have to be willing to let it all go.
- Okay.
- Okay? - I can't believe you're making me do this.
- I'm not making you.
- Oh! - Very brave.
Thanks.
I don't know that I need to be this pure.
[LAUGHING.]
I also feel ridiculous.
No.
You know what? You are beautiful.
Open and free.
There's no better way to live.
QUINN: Oh, all right, Rachel, enough with the Crocodile Dundee.
We need to get the fireman in there.
Why is August still here? Isn't there, like, a tribe in a jungle somewhere that needs him to show them how to make shoes? [CHUCKLES.]
I don't know, Rachel.
After what I saw yesterday I mean, what are you waiting for? A virginal saint? Some girl who's never had a boyfriend? Because that's called a teenager, and that's creepy.
I have Riley to think about.
I-I can't just go taking risks with who I date.
Well, look, your sister put you up for this show because you haven't been dating anyone.
Relationships are a risk.
Closing yourself off is no way to live for you or Riley.
Okay, maybe you're right, but Look.
You like this woman.
Show her.
Take the risk.
Open up.
Now take your shirt off, and get in there.
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS.]
SERENA: So, I'm just gonna go ahead and address the George nightmare.
It was not me at my best, and out of everyone, I am the most embarrassed in front of you.
Why me? Uh, because you're perfect.
[LAUGHS.]
I mean, you are.
- This girl's sad.
- You're, like, this stand-up guy with this perfect daughter and this perfect body, clearly.
[LAUGHS.]
You're like the moral center here.
Well, I hate to burst your bubble, but I'm not perfect.
I mean, I was gone for a lot of my daughter's life.
Yeah, fighting a war, serving your country.
Yeah, and nobody gets out of that without some scar tissue.
Well, what is it? I-I try not to talk about it.
It's just I totally Um, I totally get if you don't talk about it, but, you know, my dad was in Vietnam, and, um, yeah, he doesn't like to talk about it, either.
But it made it really hard for me to be close to him.
I want you to feel like you can tell me everything.
We were on a-a routine patrol one night when we were ambushed.
Impossible to tell friendlies from insurgents.
We were lucky to get out alive.
Next morning, we were tasked to reclear the objective.
And there's this little girl there sitting by her mother's dead body, staring into space and blood and dirt on her face and her her clothes.
[SIGHS.]
I have nightmares some nights.
I-I see the same look on Riley's face.
It's not your fault, Owen.
It is, though.
I'll never not feel responsible.
We took her mom from her.
It's okay.
It's okay.
Yes.
This is what we want.
This is what we need.
Man tears! Yes! It's a little sad, don't you think? Sad? No.
This wounded warrior shit, it's, like, definition of pussy magnet.
Okay, whatever, but Jasper played great.
Duh.
I mean, money plus accent equals Final Two, but Owen is the one that needs our help.
We got to convince Serena that he can fit into her world, so Rachel, uh, you need to tell your girl that she's gotta pick Daddy Do-Right.
Hey, look.
I don't know.
She's still pretty into August.
Hey, listen, I need a class warfare finale.
Jasper versus Owen.
Right? It's like "Downton Abbey," but with a hot fireman.
I mean, I would watch the shit out of that, wouldn't you? Mm-hmm.
Okay.
We're all set.
I got Gary seated at a table with all the reporters Buzzfeed, even The New York Times.
[CHUCKLING.]
Nice.
As soon as he gets up to make his speech, we blast out all the e-mails, we prove he embezzled.
They're gonna be on him like a pack of wolves.
You know, I forgot what a duplicitous asshole you could be.
- Who do you think taught you, huh? - [LAUGHS.]
Hey, Chetty.
Madison just said you changed the whole seating charts.
Why would you do that to me? Like, I had individualized press kits.
Now I don't know where to put them.
Look.
Just give them to Madison.
She can hand them out to the reporters as they come in.
Yeah, they'll have them before they sit down.
- Tweet during cocktail hour.
- Mm-hmm.
That is a great idea.
You guys are really amazing at this.
Bye.
- Mwah.
Bye.
- Bye, bye, bye.
Bye.
Oh, really? We are amazing at this.
Always have been.
See? CIA.
I don't know how you do it, but all three of these guys are actually on board.
I'm not worthy.
I wish I could take credit for it, but they're actually here for you.
So, let's talk about tonight.
Well, I think I have to choose August.
- Mm.
- I mean, I know you're gonna say it's 'cause he was in here and he was all naked and sweaty and we had sex and he's just so hot.
Yes, yes, and yes, yes.
But I really I think I think he might be the one.
I think he could balance out my crazy life, you know? Ground me.
Show me how to live.
I am complicated enough for two people.
- Mm-hmm.
- I think he might be exactly what I need.
What? What is it? Quinn really wants it to be Owen.
I mean, that whole story he told.
I know.
He's incredible.
But I don't care what Quinn wants.
These are my real feelings, here.
She doesn't care about my life, but I know you do.
[SIGHS.]
You know what? Hmm? Screw it.
Just go with your gut.
- Yeah? - Yeah, August it is.
- Really? - Yeah.
You're just gonna break ranks like that? - What are you gonna tell Quinn? - That you're my girl.
Come on.
This is your life, Serena.
What's the worst that she's gonna do to me? Throw pillar candles at my head? Bring it on.
[SIGHS.]
God, you look so good in a tux.
I could just eat you up.
- When we have time - Mm-hmm.
do you want to go, you know, upstairs? Oh.
Well, you know, you put this whole party together, and I want to see the hors d'oeuvres.
I know, and they better get it right, 'cause there's this - Hi.
How are you? - Hey.
This catering guy was giving me all kinds of hassle about the salmon puffs, which I know that I ordered instead of stuffed mushrooms because I hate mushrooms.
Anyway, I'm pretty sure I've sorted all of it out.
I've got candles still coming through there and the lower flower arrangements, the taller ones for there.
[CHUCKLES.]
What? Are you seriously back with Chet, or are you planning some kind of twisted threesome with him and fundraiser Barbie? I don't know what you're talking about.
- He's a loser, Quinn - [ICE CUBES CLINK.]
And he's just gonna drag you down like he has for years.
Uh, first, no one drags me anywhere.
And second, Chet and I are not back together.
And third, it's none of your damn business.
[CHUCKLING.]
Okay.
Now, how about you tell me what you're doing here so early, huh? Actually, I, um I need a favor.
Mm.
Shoot.
I got some bad news about my VR company.
Our Chinese buyer who was 100% in is apparently 100% out.
Ooh.
That sucks.
Yeah, which means I need a job.
[LAUGHS.]
Yeah, I thought I wasn't premium enough for you.
Okay.
I deserve that.
But I wouldn't be asking if I didn't really need it.
Uh [SIGHS.]
now is not a good time.
There's some volatility in my situation, actually.
It's not personal.
It's just business.
[ICE CLINKING.]
I'm sorry.
Hmm.
Follow me.
- [DANCE MUSIC PLAYING.]
- [CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICKING.]
Tonight on "Everlasting," we will be raising your blood pressure with three black-tie lady killers and one red-hot lady.
We're also raising sweet green cashola for the groundbreaking Chet Wilton School of Reality TV Studies.
Now, as for our gorgeous suitress, Serena has selected August as her date, but our two remaining studs will be out there among you, competing for donations in their name.
Whoever raises the most money will, of course, escort Serena home tonight to make one last play for her hand ahead of our elimination ceremony.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE.]
If Serena wanted August as her date, what are these other guys doing here? Shockingly, Quinn didn't love you not delivering on her choice, so this was my idea.
- What is with your attitude? - [SCOFFS.]
No, honestly.
We've been cool all season.
No, Rachel, you've been cool all season because you've been doing whatever the hell you want.
Jay, this is ridiculous.
So, she doesn't pick me for the date, and now I have to pimp myself out for some absurd building? You clean up nice, my friend.
Now, why don't you take your fetching ass out there, raise a disgusting amount of money, and show Serena what a mistake she made? Making a lot of money is actually a personal forte of mine.
Good boy.
Thank you, man.
Let's do this.
Damn it.
- Dan.
- What's up? What is up Jay's ass? He's being a total dick.
I mean, like, yeah, I know I deserve it sometimes.
But this time, it's, like, literally out of nowhere.
Uh You know what? We should get together.
We should have a beer sometime and talk about anything other than work.
You know, like our dads or just, like, our lives, right? Talk about our lives? Yeah.
Yeah.
Maybe tomorrow.
- I mean, if you're free, okay? - Uh - I'll talk to you soon.
- Just Um Okay.
[DANCE MUSIC PLAYS.]
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS.]
If you don't take him, Missy, I will.
[LAUGHS.]
Serena! Why don't you come here? Serena! This lovely couple here is willing to donate $25,000 if you climb up on this table right now and kiss me.
Ladies and gentlemen, how could she refuse this for such a good cause? [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE.]
[DOOR OPENS.]
The eagle has landed.
Well, the eagle's about to be road kill.
Let him get a drink first.
[LAUGHING.]
Hey, buddy, how are you? Good to see you.
Hey, let's get a drink.
How was the traffic? Uh, traffic was fine, thank you.
Oh, heads up.
- Hi.
- Robin.
Hi.
What the hell is she doing here? You want me to get security? No.
No, I'll I'll handle it.
Uh, I didn't know you two knew each other.
Lesbian mafia.
Mm, small world.
Can I talk to you for a second? Waiter! Get her a drink.
I'm pretty sure last time you were here, I kicked your ass off my set.
- Hmm.
- I'm wearing my Manolos this time, and I am happy to do it again.
Actually, I'm here as a guest of Gary's.
Hi.
Hi.
Don't get comfortable.
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATION.]
Excuse me, gentlemen.
I'm sorry.
Quinn, what a spectacular party.
- Cut the crap, Gary.
- [CLEARS THROAT.]
What is Robin doing here? Oh, Robin is here to cover your retirement speech.
My what? Yes, tonight, I'll be announcing you're forgoing your overall deal and leaving "Everlasting" effective immediately.
I'll be glad to tell 'em whatever you'd like, you know, that you want to spend more time with family or Oh, wait.
No, that wouldn't work, would it? But I'm sure you'll come up with something.
Scotch, neat.
You know, I think you're having that mental breakdown we've always known was coming.
Well, you'll do it.
It's your last chance to leave with dignity.
Robin's article lays out all the dirt on you, so I'm gonna fire you tonight, along with a harshly worded condemnation from network.
Why? Because Robin claims that I don't play well with women? Who cares? No, because along with all that, Robin has discovered [WHISPERING.]
Well, actually, maybe I told her that, um, there's a lot more you've been hiding here at "Everlasting," and I realized I don't need Chet to get me proof of your misdeeds to bring you down because women like you can't afford to make mistakes.
- Remember? - Hmm.
Uh, you seem to be forgetting about a little thing called leverage.
All those e-mails that I have proving that you embezzled money from us and the studio? The press here is gonna eat them up.
I'm not going down tonight, Gary.
You are.
Hmm.
How confident are you that, uh, you still have those e-mails? [GLASS THUDS.]
What? What?! [SIGHS.]
Only 10 minutes left to bid on your favorite suitor, ladies and gents.
Coming up, I will usher in the head of our esteemed network.
Mr.
Gary Taylor is with us this evening, everybody, to make an exciting announcement about the future of "Everlasting.
" What's the announcement? Is it about me? Yeah.
I need you right now.
Look, okay, fine.
Quinn, whatever it is, can it just wait until after the bidding is over? I mean, I know you don't like it, but I'm trying to help Serena find a husband.
Screw Serena.
Gary is going to retire me tonight.
What? Gary cannot get up on that stage, or I am done.
Seriously, Quinn, what are you talking about? I need you to create a distraction of biblical proportions 'cause I have to go deal with that cockroach of a reporter.
She is a contestant, Rachel.
Come on.
This life, this career, this is all I have.
We both saw Owen's date today.
You know you can use that.
Come on.
Please.
I got you.
CHET: Everything okay? - Ladies, hi.
- Hi.
Do you guys mind if I borrow August for just one second? I promise I'll bring him right back.
- What's up? - It's a surprise.
- One second.
- One second.
This way.
Thanks, guys.
He'll be right back.
I'll meet you right outside.
Hey, I need to do a down and dirty, one-on-one interview, so - Right now? - Yeah.
- We're right in the middle of a - No, listen.
Quinn wants to create, some, like, real competition between August and Owen.
Take the camera.
- All right.
What about the crew? - Let's just Come on.
Here we go.
Uh, walk with me.
How you doing, Quinn? You look a little pale.
How much? Excuse me? - To kill the article.
How much? - Oh, that.
I already gave it to my editor, so it's out of my hands.
Meaning it's going to put you on the map, so you're not going to stop it.
- One career ends, another begins.
- [SIGHS.]
You know, the magazine business is on life support.
We both know it can't be your end game.
I can get you a real platform, a nightly primetime spot on one of our cable news networks.
I could sell your whole shtick in a heartbeat.
I don't need you to sell my shtick.
I've been taking meetings, and once this profile comes out, I'll probably be taking a lot more.
Such a sweet offer, though.
A few more moves like this, and I'm sure you'll rehab that image in no time.
Sorry to pull you out of there, but Quinn is just up my ass about getting them.
You know how she is.
- Yep.
Yeah.
Right.
- You guys all look so great.
You guys are in your tuxes, um, except for, uh, Owen.
He's not in his tux.
What do you How do you feel about him wearing his military uniform tonight? - I mean, I know that you're a pacifist.
- Yeah, I am.
Um, all right.
I'm not really into the military's mission myself, but I just try to live and let live.
Owen's not a bad guy.
I'm sure he believes in what he did over there.
What do you think he did? I mean, I know that we've all seen the pictures of those dead children.
I mean, Owen wouldn't In any war, every soldier has some responsibility for what happens.
But most people think that the troops are unbelievably brave.
Look, I can't think of anything more brave than standing up for what I believe in, which is the dignity of human life.
I mean, soldiers enforce fear and submission.
I've worked all around the world to promote peace.
I've been out there on the front line.
Yeah, but not like a veteran has, not really.
More than a veteran has, and I was unarmed.
What is weak is hiding behind a uniform and armor and machine guns, and then you go and call yourself a hero? Sorry, but that's my definition of cowardice.
Uh, are we done? Yep.
That guy has no idea what he's talking about, Rachel.
My brother died fighting over there so some Aussie can come over here on some reality television show and say that shit? Okay, I know.
We're definitely gonna give Owen a chance to respond.
'Cause he's spouting that bullshit like it's gospel.
We need to get Owen's response, like, now.
- Let's do it.
- All right.
You know what? No, no, no.
The speech is about to start.
Listen, we'll get it later.
If not, we'll definitely get it for the next episode.
No, no, Rach, this can't air without a response.
- You can't let that air.
- We're just running out of time.
[SIGHS.]
Owen, hey, dude, I thought you'd want to see this.
We just did an interview with August.
Look, he's saying all this shit about the military.
Look, in any war, every soldier has some responsibility It's disrespectful, man.
This is bullshit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Ladies and gentlemen, uh, please, help me welcome Gary Taylor! - [LAUGHS.]
- [APPLAUSE.]
- Nice to see you again.
- Thank you.
This is for you.
GARY: What a great evening, huh? Isn't this a great evening? And some surprises yet to come.
[APPLAUSE.]
We have had a wild ride Hey, what the hell have you been saying about me, man? I don't want to be involved in any aggression, all right, mate? I'm defending myself against aggression.
Against your attack on the military I risked my life serving in.
You got a problem with that? Say it to my face.
Yeah, I do have a problem with it, okay? That's what pacifism is.
Turn off the stage Mic and turn up the contestants' lavs.
- Put 'em through the speakers now! - What about them? - It's not that simple, man.
- Oh, it's not? There are sick individuals in this world - who prey on the weak and vulnerable.
- [AUDIO FEEDBACK SCREECHES.]
Somebody's gotta stop 'em, and I'm sorry, but they don't exactly respond to incense and drum circles.
- This is great.
- But how many people have you hurt or killed because you had the power of deadly weapons, mate? How many women, Owen? How many children? If I were you, I would shut my mouth right now.
What if your daughter was a little Iraqi girl? Would those Iraqis matter to you then? I'm not gonna fight you, mate, all right? I've got principles.
Oh, yeah, it's easy to hide behind principles when you have the privilege of living in a bubble where you never had to make hard choices.
No.
Be honest, mate.
This is who you really are a fighting machine.
The military took your humanity.
They made you all killers.
[SCREAMS.]
[GLASS SHATTERS.]
[CROWD CHATTERING.]
[GASPS.]
Oh, my God! - Ho! - Owen, come on, man.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
All right.
All right.
Take it easy! Get him out of here! Let's go! [PUNCH LANDS.]
[GRUNTS.]
- Take him away.
- Get him out of here.
I owe you one, Goldberg.
Your boy, Owen, might not come out of this looking so good.
Well, don't worry.
I can definitely work with this.
[BOTH CHUCKLE.]
What an eventful and yet sobering night here at "Everlasting.
" In light of this, we're having a change of plans.
We will be honoring our vets for the remainder of the evening.
If you would, please, all of you, I'd love it if you would don your blue ribbons which, as of today, will commemorate veterans and the struggles that they face not on the battlefield, but and at home.
Thank you.
[EXTREME MUSIC'S "AND I'M COMING HOME" PLAYS ON VIDEO.]
Don't give up hope 'cause the river still flows And I'm coming home And I'm coming home It's not over yet, hearts still beat in our chest Come on, Rachel.
I mean, Quinn produced all of that, right? That wasn't like Owen at all, and the stuff that August was saying, I mean, she pushed it way too far.
Using what Owen told me earlier? I mean, that's that's despicable.
Who does that? [MUSIC CONTINUES IN DISTANCE.]
No, you're right, yeah, that was really mean, but, um it wasn't Quinn.
Look.
I saw Jeremy.
He was, like, talking to Owen after this interview that I did with August.
He probably just set him off.
Okay, yeah, but Quinn is very happy to capitalize on it and turn this entire evening into a farce.
This is what I'm talking about.
This is why you need to come work for me.
A fist fight does not make it a good night.
Blame it on Jeremy.
That's cute.
You do realize this whole mess reeks of vintage Rachel Goldberg, right? So much for essential honesty.
Look, I didn't I knew it was bad, but Quinn just needed help.
[CHUCKLES.]
There it is.
It's just so easy for you to rationalize your god-awful behavior.
Did Quinn need you to screw Alexi last night, too? How do you even know And why do you even care if I slept with Alexi? Because I broke up with Xavier for him.
What? We had a thing, Rachel, it was happening, and, um, I thought he cared about me until he told me in no uncertain terms that he didn't, and then he screwed you.
Jay, look, I'm so sorry.
- I didn't mean to - You never mean to.
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh - Ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh - [INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS.]
Dan, hey.
That was a pretty intense fight, huh? Uh, yeah, yep.
You have a minute to talk? Like, now? Mm-hmm.
Uh [BOTH BREATHING HEAVILY.]
What are we doing? What? What do you mean? You brought me in here and started We aren't really friends, are we? [SIGHS.]
To be honest, Rachel, I think you're the scariest person I've ever met.
[DOOR OPENS.]
That was stupid.
Quinn.
Well done tonight.
Yeah, your, uh, convenient, little brawl saved you for now, but, uh, that article is coming out.
And when it does, the network will be licking my balls, begging me to fire you, and I will be only too happy to oblige.
Just go home, Gary, and don't ever mention your balls to me or anybody ever.
Soon, my dear.
Soon! Tonight, only two men will receive our one-of-a-kind, limited edition, gold-plated Chet Wilton School of Reality TV Studies cufflinks.
Now it is time for Serena to decide which man will leave empty-wristed.
Serena? Before you begin, I have to say something.
I am so deeply sorry for what happened here tonight.
I acted in a way that makes me ashamed to call myself a soldier.
August, you have the right to express your opinions.
Hell, that's what I fought for.
Serena, I am so sorry for any pain that I caused you.
I just lost control.
I think the only way for me to move forward is to eliminate myself from this competition.
It's been a pleasure getting to know you, and I wish all of you the best.
Owen, wait.
[CROWD MURMURS.]
I don't want you to go.
This is oh, God an incredibly difficult decision, but I know that I admire and respect you so much, and I don't want us to end with this.
- Serena.
- No.
I [SIGHS.]
I wish tonight hadn't gone the way that it did, but I know that the emotions behind these issues are complicated, and honestly, being from a military family, what you said, it made sense to me.
Serena, look what he did, okay? I'm only saying this to protect you.
The guy, he's clearly damaged.
Yeah.
I'm I'm damaged, too.
I mean we're human.
Oh, August, I am so sorry, but I have to say goodbye to you tonight.
- Serena, don't.
- I think you are wonderful, but, uh, I realized tonight that you do you live in a bubble, a world of what should be instead of what is, and I-I need a partner who sees it that way, too.
Okay.
[SNIFFLES.]
Let me guess.
Quinn asked you to produce some big moment for the show, and you did it.
Yeah, something like that.
So what happened to that great relationship with Serena you were so proud of? - It is great.
- Really? So, were you thinking about what was best for her when you were blowing stuff up for Quinn, or Yeah, well, hey.
At least you got what you wanted out of it.
What does that mean? I didn't want anything.
Oh, come on, Rachel.
You must get something out of these things you do for Quinn.
You're willing to sacrifice every relationship you have.
So, what is it? Maybe some of that love you never got from your real mother? You learn that in Psych 101? You can deny it all you want, but what Quinn is asking you to do, Rachel, that is not what love looks like.
Look, it's not Quinn.
It's not her fault.
You're right.
This is up to you.
You already broke off one dysfunctional relationship when you cut ties with your mother.
Now you have a decision to make.
Can you do it again with Quinn? Hey.
Well, finally took Crystal home, convinced her the evening was a smashing success.
Hey, that was incredible, the way you turned the whole thing around.
Mm-hmm, yeah.
Incredible.
I still have a noose around my neck.
I just get to spend some time hanging around till someone kicks the bucket out from under me.
We'll figure it out, huh? We'll fix it.
As long as we're together, there's nothing we can't face, kiddo.
Hmm.
Tomorrow, I'm gonna break up with Crystal, and Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Why would you do that? Why would you break up with her? So you and I can be together for real.
Well, don't.
I don't want that.
I don't want to go down that road again.
Listen, Chet, I mean, you saw my house.
That's my plan for the future, if I even still have one at this point.
[SIGHS.]
I am sorry if I gave you the wrong impression.
Listen, I, um I need to make some calls to figure out what my strategy is, here.
Oh.
Uh yeah, I mean [SIGHS.]
[CELLPHONE CLATTERS.]
[SIGHS.]
[SILVERWARE CLANKING.]
I thought that was really great today.
Got all those flags up.
I thought they looked awesome.
You backstabbing little rodent.
- What? - You're fired.
Why? You wiped my computer clean.
You knew where to look, and you knew what was at stake.
Quinn, I didn't do that.
I You know, I was willing to give you a million chances - I really didn't.
- to help you grow that thick skin that you need in this business - Quinn.
- because we are a family, a dysfunctional insane asylum, yes, but a family.
I don't know who did that, Quinn, but it wasn't me.
I don't keep traitors in my family so you are cut out.
Excommunicated.
Maybe Gary can help you, but I don't really are.
Just don't ever come back.
I want to live Not be afraid and forsaken - Rise - [SIGHS.]
From the embers to the flames As we circle the moon Nice work.
Quinn never saw it coming.
So, the job is mine? You deliver, I deliver.
Got to say, I wasn't sure you'd go against your pal like this.
Huh.
Quinn's a big girl.
It's not personal.
It's business.
- [ENGINE STARTS.]
- All right.
Let's go.
I want to live Not be afraid and forsaken Rise from the embers to the flames As we circle Hey.
The moon I can't believe I fell for it again.
You produced me, the whole thing the last-minute interview, running out of time to talk to Owen.
That fight was your end game, and I fell for it again.
You used me again.
- Jeremy - I killed two people, Rachel, for you, 'cause I thought that I-I loved you.
Like somehow that made it sane.
You made me a murderer.
I know.
I did that to you.
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
Oh, oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh, oh-oh Oh, oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh, oh-oh