Victorious s03e09 Episode Script

How's that tuna? Mmmm good.
The Sushi here is amazing.
I know.
And this is the only place where they give me the training chopsticks.
- Ha-ha! Look at the baby's chopsticks! Jerks! Dude, you can't call little girls "jerks".
Hey girl! That's a stupid red jacket.
Jerks! You want something else? - Tori? - Uh, nah, we better get back to school.
Just the check, please.
I'm buyin' lunch.
- Oh, c'mon, let me pay half.
- No way, toe Ray.
This is the least I can do after what you did for me.
What did she do for you? She helped me massage my grandmother's feet.
Why? Well, she was in a lot of pain And the skin on her feet is so thick, you have to use both hands to rub each foot.
I rubbed the left.
Yeah, great story Now I gotta go puke.
You know I really don't mind paying half.
- Nay-nay.
It's the least I could do for a friend.
Who helped me massage my mammaw's feet Oh dear.
Robbie, I've told you, nobody our age says oh dear.
- Oh my.
- Or that.
I think I left my wallet in my locker.
It's okay, I'll pay for lunch.
Well, I'm paying you back as soon as we get - Uh-oh.
- What? I didn't bring my backpack Or a purse 'cuz you said that you were paying.
Don't you keep emergency money in your bra? No.
- I thought girls did that.
- Well, we don't.
- Cat keeps candy in hers.
- Hey! Why are you still here? We We kinda forgot to bring money.
- You ate twenty-two dollars worth of Sushi.
- I know but - Now you give me twenty-two dollars worth of money.
I just told you I can't JustGive us a minute to figure this out.
Yeah sure.
I'll give you a minute.
Now what are we gonna do? We could try to sneak out.
If you try to sneak out, you will have to get past Kwakoo.
- What what's a Kwakoo? - Kwakoo! Oh dear.
- I thought nobody our age says that.
- I'm bringing it back.
Here I am once again feeling lost but now and then I breathe it in to let it go and you don't know where you are now or what it will come to if only somebody could hear when you figure out how you're lost in the moment you disappear you don't have to be afraid to put your dream in action you're never gonna fade you'll be the main attraction not a fantasy just remember me when it turns out right 'cause you know that if you're living your imagination tomorrow you'll be everybody's fascination in my victory just remember me when I make it shine You guys know there's this germ called That you can get from a spider.
Crawling into your mouth when you're sleeping, then your uvula swells up really big so you can't breathe, and they have to cut a hole right here to drain the pus from your throat.
I'll just eat this pudding cup later.
So does anybody want some candy? - Sure.
Yeah.
- Yeah.
Gumdrop for you Gumdrop for you Gumdrop for you.
Wow.
She is just awful.
- The worst thing I've ever heard.
- That's right.
- Hey, I have a question.
- What? Every kid has to audition to get into Hollywood arts, right? - Mm-hmm.
- Yup.
And Trina has no talent, right? - None whatsoever.
- No.
Then how did she pass her audition and get to go to school here? - You haven't heard the story? - No, but I love stories! I'll tell it.
Okay It was about four years ago And back then, Trina did have talent.
Oh yes.
She could sing like an angel There she was on that stage Singin' like an angel - Fantastic.
Bravissimo.
- Truly amazing, miss Vega.
Trina Vega.
Well Trina Vega, as principal of Hollywood arts, I can tell you right now You're in.
Oh my gosh, thank you.
God bless you all.
Come on everyone, let's take five.
Hey.
You got some hot pipes.
Aw, thank you.
What's your name? Sinjin.
I've been going to this school for a whole year.
Wow, cool.
Yeah.
I set up all this audio equipment.
And I ran these cables that go to the lights.
- Ow! - Are you okay?! Yeah, I think so But that light just hit me right in the throat.
Oh no! Can you still sing like an angel? Let me see.
- Really? - Yup.
That light hit Trina so hard, it knocked all the talent right out of her.
Okay, that is not how Trina got into Hollywood arts.
- It's the story I always heard.
- Well, it's wrong.
But how did she get in? - We gotta get to class.
- No, wait - I'll tell you later.
- But I'm curious now! Please tell me! Please tell me now! I'll give you a gummy bear! Jelly Bean? A pinto Bean? What are you into?! Look, you know who we are Yeah, you're the evil girl who left my daughter hanging from the ceiling! - That was a long time ago! - I still hold a grudge.
We have to go! We were supposed to be back at school by now! You order my food, you chew my food, you swallow my food, you know what comes next! I'm not comfortable with potty talk unless it's with my doctor.
No, igmo! You pay for my food! - Come on, let's just leave.
- No.
Kwakoo will hurt us.
- Do you see him around? No.
- I'm scared.
Fine.
I'll leave, go get the money, and then bring it back.
Ah! I got Kwakoo'd.
- Kids kids - Hey.
- Hiiii.
- Fyi, I'm gonna be late for class.
- Why? - What's up? - Again? - I got a call from my housekeeper.
Apparently there's an odd smell coming from under my bed.
- What do you think it is? - Oh, I know what it is.
Okay, looks like we got some time.
Yay, so tell me how Trina really got into Hollywood arts.
All right.
Here's the real story So, four years ago.
Trina did her audition, and it was like torture But not the good kind It's an all night party that we're gettin' into if you think it's all over then the joke is on you it's a dream, it's a scene and it's all brand new if you think you can't stop it then the joke is on you great northern beans, that was horrible.
Uh, I'm sorry But, you don't belong at Hollywood arts.
All right, fellow faculty members.
For Trina Vega, let's all carefully check the "no" boxes on our forms.
- Agreed.
- Absolutely.
Interesting.
She's tossed some sort of device onto the floor.
Hey Hey, what's goin' on? I don't know.
There seems to be some sort of vapor coming out of Trina Vega yes.
Trina Vega yes.
Trina Vega yes.
Trina Vega yes And when they woke up, they had no memory of what happened, and that is how Trina got into Hollywood arts.
Well, that is a fantastic story that never happened.
That's how I heard it.
Well, anyone want some licorice? I'll take some.
Jade? I'm still waiting for my money.
How do you expect us to get it? - Why don't you whip out one of your fruit-shaped telephones.
And call someone to bring you the stupid money?! Because we oh.
Okay, that's a good idea.
Yeah.
Call Andre and tell him to bring us thirty bucks.
Why don't you call him? I left my phone in my backpack.
Which I didn't bring 'cuz you said that you were buying me lunch.
For massaging your mammaw's funky feet! Now call Andre.
Okay.
Uhhh I'll just give him a ringy-doo on my old pear phone here.
- Hurry.
- Boop-boop-beep boop-beep-beep-boop.
Hello, Andre.
Hey, what's up, my man? It's your boy, Rob.
How are things? Oh, I'm super, thanks for asking.
Sooo, I'm just here with the Terminator Oh, gimme the phone! Andre, it's me, Tori, we're stuck at Nozu and we need thirty dollars, can you please bring it over? Hello? Andre? He's not on the phone! Does this phone even work?! - Well, it could.
- You don't have phone service?! - They want forty-five bucks a month! I'm not paying that! Then why do you carry this around?! I don't want people thinking I don't have a phone! - That'd be sad! - This is sad! This is so so sad! So when is my money gonna get here?! We don't have any Well, if you don't have money, then I guess you'll have to work.
Okay.
Take your shoes off.
We'll rub your feet.
- Nobody's touching my feet! You will do restaurant work.
What do we have to do? - We don't know how to chop squid.
- Ulch.
That's the squid.
That's the chopper.
Use the chopper to chop the squid.
- Can you go over it again? - No! Kwakoo, sing the squid chopping song! Hai! Chop, chop chop the squid chop, chop chop the squid chop, chop chop the squid disappoint my father y'know, sometimes I think I disappoint my father, too.
And every time I try to bring it up Chop and sing! Chop, chop chop the squid chop, chop chop the squid chop, chop chop the squid disappoint my father chop, chop chop the squid chop, chop chop the squid chop, chop chop the squid disappoint my father - Trina did not get into this school by using knock-out gas.
That's the story I've always heard.
- I don't think it's true.
- I dunnooo Trina is kinda kooky in the head.
A little nutty in the ol' noggin Some girls are like that, y'know.
- Oh we know.
- Yes.
- Some girls are.
- Right? Okay.
Do you wanna know how Trina really got into Hollywood arts? - Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.
Oh, yes.
Tell us, oh great Beck who knows everything except how to keep a girlfriend happy.
- You hate being happy.
- Just tell the story! All right! Four years ago, Trina came here to audition What are you doing? While Beck tells the story, I'm gonna try and visualize it, as it happened.
Oooo, me too! Okay.
So Trina was auditioning It's a dream it's a scene and it's all brand new if you think you can't stop it then the joke is on you so? How was that? Well Trina, I would never use the word "terrible" Except in this case.
Sikowitz, c'mon, she's a kid.
- You liked it? - Oh no, you're the worst.
I'm sorry, but we can't accept you here at Hollywood arts.
Okay.
I guess I'll just leave, then.
Unless You guys are up for a challenge.
- What kind of challenge? - I fight all five of you.
If I win, you let me into Hollywood arts.
Ha! Let's dance.
- Foolish child.
- Bring it on, foo'.
M'jiggy! And that's what happened.
- Oh, and I'm "crazy" to think that the knock-out gas story is true.
- You seriously think Trina got into this school by ninja-whackin' five teachers? - It's the story I heard.
- Wait.
Sikowitz had hair? Well Did you terrible children finish chopping the squid? Yes.
We chopped all seventeen pounds of your nasty squid! All right? See? Now you have enough chopped squid to fill the grand canyon! And three more medium-sized canyons! - They have medium-sized canyons? Can we please leave? You forgot to chop this piece of squid.
See it? This piece is still un-chopped.
There! Ya happy?! - Can we go? - Mmmm Okay, now you two may get out.
Yes! Let's get back to school! - Yepperty-do-dah! Oh no! My beautiful plates! Now you two gotta work here all day and night 'til you pay for these broken dishes! - No! - Yeah, no! - He's gotta work here! - Yeah! What?! You broke the dishes! I broke nothing! So you're just gonna leave me here?! - Yepperty-do-dah! So here's my bedroom at home And see, underneath the bed That's where I keep the extra sandwiches So apparently, the smell was coming from a tuna melt that I made last I'm sorry I'm so sorry I'm late.
It's cool.
Yeah.
We're just listenin' to a very long story.
About the smell coming from under Sikowitz's bed.
What? Not as long as Beck's long story about how Trina got into this school.
Yeah, um, how did your sister get into this school? Uhhh, I don't know.
I guess she just auditioned and got in.
But she's untalented.
Cat, that's mean.
And true.
How did she get in? ChildrenKids Eh, eh, eh I can tell you how Trina got into Hollywood arts.
- You know? - Mmm-hmmm.
I was at her audition.
Four years ago - So, are you gonna tell us? - Oh yeah.
So! Just before Trina's audition was about to begin, principal Eikner walked into the room Okay, who's auditioning next? Hey, you guys! That weird kid, uhhh ginseng? Sinjin? Yeah.
He got his face stuck in the soda machine again.
Can you come help me pull him out? Of course.
Sikowitz, you stay here and continue with the auditions.
Right.
What's that? Oh, it's a special coconut my cousin sent me from Sri Lanka.
I'm gonna drink its milk.
It smells kinda weird.
Yes.
It was delivered to my back door, so I didn't see it for three weeks.
Maybe it's spoiled.
Maybe.
But I am still gonna drink its milk.
But Oh, I've gotta Okay, sinjin, I'm coming.
All right, next! - Hi.
I'm Trina Vega.
- Hello, Trina.
Ooo, that's a funky taste.
All right, Trina.
Take it away.
Can't stop you know we'll never give it up oh, I think this coconut milk is affecting me - In this life - oh, yes.
You gotta live it up so everybody put your hands in the air oh.
It's an all night party that we're getting into Roman soldiers! If you think it's all over then the joke is on you oh, sweet mitosis.
Look what she can do! Oh look! Now she's a hot dog! I love hot dogs! Sing, hot dog! Then the joke is on you ah!! Trina is in! Trina is in! Trina is in! Trina is in! Haaaah!! And after seeing that, I accepted Trina into Hollywood arts.
You meanJust 'cuz you drank some bad coconut milk? - And saw visions? - I'm not proud of it.
Hey Does anyone smell Sushi? Yeah It smells kinda like salmon.
No.
No, I think it's It's yellowtail.
- No.
Wait, maybe it's - It's squid! All right, it's squid! It's squid! - Yeah, squid.
- Squid makes sense.
Totally squid.
Wait.
Where's Robbie? How long do I have to keep doing this? A very long time.
Okay.
- Use your thumbs.
- I know what to do!