Austin and Ally s03e10 Episode Script

Here's Kenneth Kreen's review of Austin's concert.
"Austin Moon's performance was tired and uninspired.
It lacked the spectacle of a superstar performer.
Frankly, I've had more fun plucking my nose hairs.
" If Austin sees this review, it'll tear him apart.
We better hide these magazines.
He'll be here any minute.
- Okay.
- How many did you buy? All of them.
Let's go.
Oh, wait! Oh! - That's no good.
- Sorry.
- Pick them up! - Hide, hide.
We got this.
Hide them over in the piano.
Oh, uh We got this.
We got this.
He's gonna be here any minute! Okay, um Here he comes! Act natural.
- Yo.
- 'Sup, buddy? Hey, good-looking.
Hey, guys.
Bam! Oh, the new issue of "Miami Weekly.
" I have been looking all over for one.
No! No one does the word jumble before me.
Hey, it's the review of my show.
"Tired.
Uninspired"? This is terrible.
You guys could have at least tried to hide it from me.
We did.
Dez has magazines in his pants.
It's true.
See? Oh, that's my lunch.
When the crowd wants more I bring on the thunder 'cause you've got my back and I'm not going under you're my point, you're my guard you're the perfect chord and I see our names together on every billboard we're headed for the top, we've got it on lock we'll make 'em say "hey!" and we'll keep rockin' oh, there's no way I could make it without ya do it without ya, be here without ya it's no fun when you're doing it solo with you it's like, "whoa," yeah, and I know I own this dream 'cause I got you with me there's no way I could make it without ya do it without ya, be here without ya.
Who is this Kenneth Kreen? This review is awful.
Maybe I was a little tired, but I've been performing almost every night.
He's wrong.
You were amazing.
I've never had anyone hate my show before.
You know what? I'm gonna change his mind.
What are you gonna do? He thinks I'm all tired and uninspired.
I'm gonna show him the coolest performance ever.
You want us to help you plan it? Thanks, but I think I got Austin covered when it comes to cool.
Check out my new exit.
One, two, three, four.
You're in trouble.
Austin and I were up all night last night thinking of awesome performance ideas.
Then it hit us.
Nothing's more awesome than our favorite comic book "the galactic adventures of the electric avengerrrr!" That's how you say it.
Okay, well get to the point fasterrrr.
We came up with an amazing space themed performance.
It's gonna blow nneth keeen's mind.
There's gonna be brain matter everywhere.
Literally.
You don't know what "literally" means, do you? Nope.
Imagine this is the stage.
And I'm the electric avengerrr! Yeah, that won't get old.
Kenneth Kreen's gonna be sitting here as represented by this egg.
The music starts.
Out of nowhere, cyborgs attack.
I fight them off.
Then, I'll dodge asteroids.
And After he defeats the evil velotian queen He'll fly through the air and be the hero of planet zytrax.
Electric avengerrr! How are you gonna sing while battling cyborgs, dodging asteroids, flying through the air, and fighting off galactic queens? Whoo! I'm out of breath just saying it.
I already thought of that.
I'll just prerecord the track and pretend to sing along.
Makes sense.
It's not about the song.
The point is to give Kenneth Kreen an amazing show.
Yeah, there's no way Kenneth Kreen's gonna give Austin a bad review ter this, because he's gonna crush it.
Huh.
I thought Kenneth Kreen was hard boiled.
Mr.
Kreen, you're gonna love Austin's new show.
Thank you so much for coming.
Yes, well, it was either watch this train wreck or hit myself over the head with a frying pan.
Unfortunately, I couldn't find a frying pan.
At least you're keeping an open mind.
Many weeks ago in a universe kind of far, far away, planet zytrax was in grave peril! Only one man could save it.
That man was none other than Austin Moon! Mmm if I could stop the world tonight I would freeze this moment in time Oh, if I only could get ready.
This next part's gonna knock you off your feet.
Dance like the wind over and over again I told you he would knock you off your feet.
Uh-oh.
Kenneth Kreen just posted his review of last night's performance.
It's not good.
Hey, Austin.
Was that Kenneth Kreen's review? Yeah.
It's not as bad as we thought.
You're kidding.
Let me see.
No, I'll read it to you.
"Austin Moon is and always will be the most awesome performer ever.
" That's it.
You heard him.
Oh.
"Austin Moon lip-synched through a catastrophic performance.
He's just another pretty boy fraud who can't sing"? At least he called you pretty.
I only lip-synched 'cause I was trying to impress him.
This stinks.
No one's ever questioned my musical ability before.
You know you're the real deal, and that's all that matters.
Maybe I am freaking out over nothing.
So I got two bad reviews.
It's not gonna change my life.
That's never happened before.
Maybe it is changing my life.
I think I'm losing my swag.
No, you're not.
And I'll prove it to you.
Here.
Sing a song to those girls.
Great idea.
Yeah.
Hey, girls.
Been counting every second of the day I don't feel like playing music anymore.
I'm gonna go play volleyball.
Yeah.
I've never seen Austin like this before.
A couple bad reviews, and it's like he's completely falling apart.
It's a textbook case, actually.
When one loses confidence in the thing he's best at, he gets washed away in a tidal wave of self doubt, causing him to question everything else in his life.
So you're saying because he's doubting his music, he's losing his confidence with everything? No, Ally.
I said "It's a textbook case.
When one loses confidence in the thing he's" we get it.
We have to help Austin get his confidence back.
And we'd better do it fast.
I think I lost.
Yeah, tech support? I went swimming with it.
Not supposed to? Well, what if I'm drowning and need to call for help? I demand a new phone! Yeah, I'll hold, but I am not happy! Hello, dear friend.
Uh hello? I know you've lost your confidence, your swagger, your swag, if you will.
So please, join me as I guide you on a relaxing journey to find your inner peace.
I just came to get an inner piece of cheese for my salami sandwich.
Eating's the only thing that brings me joy.
Forget the sandwich.
Sit down and calm your mind.
Now let's start with some positive affirmations.
Close your eyes and repeat after me.
You are strong.
You are confident.
I am strong.
I am confident.
You are talented.
You are not a fraud.
I am talented.
I'm not a fraud.
Hold on a sec.
Hold on a sec.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.
You can't do anything?! I can't do anything? You are useless, worthless, and horrible at what you do.
I'm useless, worthless, and horrible at what I do.
Now get me a new phone right now or you'll see what happens.
- Where are you going? - To get you a new phone.
I don't want to see what happens.
Hey, Tiffany.
I need you to do me a huge favor.
Oh, sure.
Who are you? I've sat next to you in home room for the last three years.
Oh, right.
Zed.
Close enough.
Listen, my friend, Austin Moon, is having some trouble with girls.
So no matter what he says, just tell him how great he is.
Austin Moon's having trouble with girls? But he's so cool.
He used to be.
Now I'm the cool one.
Can you believe it? No.
Oh, here he comes.
Hey, Austin.
See that cheerleader over there? She's eyeballing you big time.
You should go talk to her.
Nah.
I'm not really feeling it.
Great! Go get 'em, tiger.
'Sup? Ow! Ow, my hair! Sorry sorry sorry.
Zed was right.
You are so not cool anymore.
I 'Sup.
Get me out of here.
I'm on it.
Wait, wait.
I could have just given you my locker combination.
Uh, have you seen your hair? Trust me.
I'm doing you a favor.
Austin, are you really reading Kenneth Kreen's review again? Yeah.
The only good word in here is "incredible.
" He said it's "incredible" people pay money to see my shows.
I never thought I'd say this, but Austin, you're reading too much.
Look, Trish booked you a do-over concert.
Once you get up there and rock, you'll get your confidence back.
I don't think that's gonna work.
I've lost my swag, Ally.
You just need somebody to help you get it back.
And I have just the person.
Pack your swag bags, 'cause swag master Ally's taking you to swag town in her station swagon.
Honk honk! Mm, mm, mm.
Thanks, Ally.
You just ruined the word "swag" forever.
Look, I know what you're going through.
I used to be a scared little girl who couldn't perform just like you.
Did you just call me a little girl? I mean, I've been where you are.
I know what it's like to go on stage and feel an overwhelming fear that you're going to fail.
It's like the whole world is judging you.
Students, teachers, doctors, judges.
Your hand and feet start to tingle.
You break into a sweat.
You start to have a panic attack.
It's like the walls are closing in on me.
The walls are closing in on me! I can't breathe.
I can't breathe.
But I got over it.
And you will too.
You are gonna be great tonight.
Gotta go.
I'm really nervous.
When you had stage fright, how'd you calm yourself down? I chewed my hair.
Don't even think about it.
You can do this, Austin.
You're right.
I can do this.
In, auststin, Austin! Whoo! You're a fraud.
You are so not cool.
You are horrible at what you do.
The electric avengerrr! Everyone's judging you.
Students, teachers, doctors, judges.
Poor Austin.
It's gotten worse.
Now he has full-blown stage fright.
I hope not.
That would mean the end of his singing career.
But it could be the beginning of his track and field career.
Man, that boy can run.
Hey.
I don't know what's happened to me.
I got on stage and I just couldn't do it.
I started seeing faces, hearing voices.
There was even an old-timey English judge in the audience.
I used to see the entire supreme court.
I'll never forget the disappointment on Ruth Bader Ginsburg's face.
I don't think I can perform anymore.
I mean, I flew off that stage faster than the electric avengerrr.
Austin, it's gonna get betterrr.
I know you're gonna get over this.
I did.
And you know how? 'Cause I had you by my side.
I know.
I used to feel like I could do anything with you by my side.
And you still can.
Listen, this all started with that bad review from Kenneth Kreen.
If you win him over, I'm sure you'll get your confidence back.
Even if I wanted to perform for him again, he's not gonna want to see me.
He won't have a choice.
Trish just texted me that he's having dinner at the beach club right now.
Wow.
That's a coincidence.
Not really.
Trish gave him a free meal coupon to get him there.
It's fake And his meal will not be free.
Dez, stall him while I get more food.
Way ahead of you.
- Any requests, sir? - Oh, yes.
Something from Vivaldi's "four seasons" would be nice.
Oh, my pleasure.
Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa.
You can't leave yet.
You still have food coming.
Oh no.
I've had enough of this so-called food, starting with that pathetic excuse for a salad.
I'm sure there's more flavor in a handful of sand.
No, I'm gonna have to go with the salad.
As if the food wasn't bad enough, the service, it was appalling.
I've had wild monkeys spill less soup in my lap.
Seriously.
I dined at a restaurant in Brazil where the waiters were howling monkeys.
Wait wait wait.
Don't go.
Tell me another monkey story.
Well okay, Kenneth Kreen.
I'm gonna show you that I don't need to lip-synch.
I'm not just a pretty boy who can't sing.
I'm a pretty boy who can sing.
Bravo.
Your arrogance is matched only by your incompetence.
It's not an insult if I don't know what it means.
Go show him what you can do, Austin.
You've got this.
Yeah.
Whoa ooh yeah okay, maybe I'm shy but usually I speak my mind But by your side I'm tongue tied sweaty palms, I turn red You think I have no confidence But I do just not with you now I'm singing all the words I'm scared to say yeah so forgive me if I'm doing this all wrong I'm trying my best in this song To tell you what can I do? I'm stuck on you I'm hoping you feel what I do 'cause I told mom about you I told her what can I do? I'm stuck on you and like the night sticks to the Moon girl I'm stuck on you ooh ooh yeah I'm stuck on you.
So, Kenneth, what did you think? Bravo.
A speccular.
Ta waste of my time.
Just like these crab cakes.
Underwhelming and predictable.
How could you not like that? Yeah.
These crab cakes are incredible.
Don't worry about it, Austin.
It's not you.
This guy doesn't like anything.
The food, the music, my impeccable service.
Okay, forget that last part.
You know what? This whole time I've been trying to please you.
But why should I care what you think? Why should I care what anyone thinks? I know I rock.
- Yeah.
- He's back.
The electric avengerrr! This evening was a complete travesty.
But at least my meal was free.
Actually, your coupon was fake.
You have to pay for your meal.
You call this a bill? I've seen better paper in outhouses.
Thanks, guys.
I'll never be nervous to perform again.
Uh-oh.
Maybe I'm not better.
I see an old-timey judge.
Relax, Austin.
We see him too.
Sir? The costume party's in the back room.
Huh.
Now that I have my confidence back, I guess I won't be seeing you guys anymore.
Adios.
Whoo! Good for you, Austin.
So what are we supposed to do now? I don't know.