Blue Mountain State (2009) s03e10 Episode Script
One Week
take a look behind the curtain at the exciting world of division I college football with the original documentary series "one week.
" Hut! Not so funny now, is it, boys? Huddle up! On tonight's episode - Break! Blue Mountain state.
I can't believe I let you two talk me into this.
Relax, Marty.
You turned this whole team around.
Debra's right.
It's going to be a love letter to you.
Blue Mountain state is a storied franchise which has endured a turbulent 2011 season, yet somehow managed to come out on top.
Currently ranked #2 in the nation, the Mountain goats have won since losing their opener at home.
How did they manage to pull themselves out of the ashes and salvage what early on seemed to be a lost season? Has it been the emergence of junior quarterback Alex moran? Has it been aging, lame-duck legend Marty Daniels? Or has it been the acquisition of highly touted offensive coordinator Marcus Gilday, the man who affectionately calls himself: "The Genius"? You decide.
Welcome to "one week" at blue Mountain state.
Uh, popcorn's ready.
Can you feel that? You better hold on.
This one's about to get bumpy.
Give me a hell, give me a yeah hell yeah stand up right now give me a hell, give me a yeah stand up right now, right now give me a hell, give me a yeah stand up right now.
- - TV narrator: The sun rises on a new week for the 10-1 B.
M.
S.
Mountain goats.
Coach Marty Daniels is the second winningest coach in college football history and quickly closing in on Joe Paterno's all-time record for wins.
Is this okay? Is this in the way? Individual achievement means very little to me compared to what we accomplish as a team and as a family.
Although it would be really nice to kick Jopa's ass.
Not physically of course.
I mean, he's very short.
Nice.
Nice.
We've got a great young team with a bright future ahead of us.
But the question everyone is asking is will the future of B.
M.
S.
Include coach Daniels? Keep it up, boys.
I know it's hot out here.
Keep it up.
Offensive coordinator Marcus Gilday has been making waves with his high-powered offense, which is now ranked #3 in the country.
Move the legs! Move your legs! I think this team needed a shot in the arm and my mind was the syringe.
My knowledge was the medicine.
I'm thrilled to be considered the future of this storied program.
And I'm positive that I will have nothing but success here, especially with the support of my beautiful wife.
It's a charming little school.
- Yeah.
- Everyone is so so nice.
It's not quite Stanford, but what is, hmm? Who do I credit with the offensive explosion we're experiencing this season? Two people our quarterback Alex moran and me, because I was the one who chose to start moran when all the others doubted him.
- Focus! - And when I say others, I mean coaches.
Nice! Wozinski, very nice! And when I say coaches, I mean Gilday.
Come on.
Sloppy footwork.
All right, Alex, time to get up for practice.
Let's go, buddy.
What? What the hell? Alex moran, starting quarterback and loving it.
Life is good.
Am I right, ladies? Ladies? I try not to let the success go to my head too much.
But being the starting quarterback on a juggernaut offense definitely has its perks.
So my sisters they really want to meet you.
- Okay.
- Could I bring them by tonight? Are they legal? That's a very good question.
Are they legal? - Of course they're legal.
- Well then of course.
Yeah sure.
Oops-a-Daisy.
That is for Alex.
You said it was for me.
It's pretty good.
There's jelly and stuff over there.
I'm gonna throw some jelly on it.
Yeah! Argh! Not everyone on this Mountain goat team - has had a smooth year.
- Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Number 54 thad castle, the all-American senior linebacker, was sidelined by both an early suspension and a concussion.
Getting suspended and then getting that c-word was a real wake-up call.
I realized I needed to start thinking about life after football.
So as a fallback, I decided to study acting.
Burt Reynolds, Lawrence Taylor, Brian Bosworth all great football players turned amazing actors.
And we may forget because of all the horrible things he's done, but Bubba Smith was a real delight in those "police academy" movies.
Are you watching this, Larry? Yeah! I think I tore a pec.
Yeah, it's time to go big.
It's time to practice hard.
Looking good, harmon.
Smoking! Hey, nice muscles, Larry.
Somebody stop me! Hey, you got a big, um hey, come on, guys, we gotta play hard.
Let's go.
Let's go.
The first day of practice brings with it a pressure-cooking heat wave.
Let's go, moran.
No slacking off out there.
Hey, coach Gilday, what's with the makeover? Did your wife get you a gift certificate at the gap? This is haute couture, coach.
You look good, you feel good.
And you coach good.
You should give it a try, huh? Blue 16.
Blue 16.
Set hike! Yeah, way to go, moran! Great pass! That's what I'm talking about.
Alex moran's a good kid.
But at the end of the day, you could probably put in a half-blind orangutan as quarterback.
My system would prevail.
This coffee's cold, huh? Hut! Sloppy, moran, real sloppy.
I know it's hot out.
Get your head out of your ass.
Yeah, coach Gilday can be tough on me, but that just comes with the territory.
It's just important for me to keep my eyes on the prize.
Right, girls? Let's go, pretty boy.
Keep your head in the game.
Blue 16.
Set hut! What, are you hung over? Take a lap.
A lap! Now! Go go! Second team! Are you catching this? Sloppy feet.
Keep running! The truth is these kids need discipline.
I really believe they they want to be pushed to their limits and then good stuff happens.
Harmon! Harmon! - What the hell? - Okay, make way.
Clear out.
This is heat exhaustion.
I'm gonna cool down his core.
Take his pants off.
Hey, you really don't need to film this, all right? - Where are you gonna put that rod? - Okay, hold his leg up.
Stand back.
Oh oh oh! Oh God.
I said don't film this.
Get away.
Move that You're gonna be all right, son.
You're in good hands.
After a rocky start to the week, the Mountain goats prepare for their upcoming game against Emerton U.
I was a little surprised by the whole icicle-up-the-ass trick.
It's a little a little archaic.
I'm more of a smelling salts kind of guy.
So then the icicle went up my ass.
And all of a sudden I'm floating in an ethereal light.
That's when I heard my cousin Denis's voice telling me it wasn't my time.
Is your cousin dead? Nope.
That's the weird thing.
Also he lost his voice in a pencil-factory accident last year, so double weird.
Wow, that sounds amazing.
It was, better than any drug I've ever had.
- I highly recommend it.
- Okay.
- Moran.
- Yeah? I know it's not easy putting yourself out there every day, the national spotlight blinding your eyeballs.
I've seen it destroy tougher men than both of us.
But I'm here to tell you there's hope, brother.
We have to we have to line! "Lead these men with humility and courage.
" Shit! Let me try that again.
- Moran.
- Yeah? I know it's not easy putting yourself out there every day, the national spotlight blinding your eyeballs.
I've seen it destroy Like generals preparing for war, the B.
M.
S.
Coaches know that strategy and preparation are the keys to victory.
They're gonna come down hard right here.
You know, I love strategy meetings.
It's a time to learn about your opponent, to find out ways to take away any advantages they have.
We know Emerton is going to attack us from the inside on both offense and defense.
We also know this game is gonna be won in the trenches.
I didn't notice anything different about Marty's look.
He always dresses that way.
I mean, you know, he's a very hip guy.
Now watch this right here.
Right there.
Right there.
Let me run it back.
It's not working.
What's going on? We'll get it for you.
Of course I feel pressure, - because it comes with the job.
- Ah, okay.
But it doesn't come from any of my Gildays.
Honey, you said "Gildays.
" - Did I? - Mm-hmm.
I meant coaches.
The point is I don't feel any pressure except the pressure I put on myself to be a winner.
One of the things that I noticed when I arrived at B.
M.
S.
Was a lack of technology in the coaching department.
As you can see, Emerton's defense stopping runs to the left.
No shit.
Their best defensive player is their left end.
You don't need stats to know that.
Sabermetrics, coach.
Welcome to the 21st century.
So as I was saying, Emerton is most vulnerable right here.
What the who did this? That's my wife! Who the hell did this? Who the hell did this? This is not funny.
Huh huh? Come on.
- Hey, did you do this, moran? - Huh-uh.
Okay, everybody up! Outside right now.
"Miss tits.
" Not so funny now, is it, boys? Look, I understand.
Pranks can build camaraderie in a team.
I get that, all right? But there is a line that is crossed when it comes to my wife.
A funny little joke you had to play on my wife? Nebraska can be a very strange and overwhelming place for a young woman to grow up.
Right, honey? I'm not saying it was me, but my best friend here does happen to be a fan of regional breast competitions.
And I happen to have a photographic memory when it comes to boobs, so Miss hefty gumdrops, 2003.
And I'm right again.
So, hmm.
Come on in.
After several tense days of practice, the team decides to let off some steam at the goat house.
- What the hell was that? - This is a pretty typical night here at B.
M.
S.
Hi.
We work hard, but we play hard too.
See God, see God, see God, see God, see God, see God, see God, see God, see God Heat exhaustion! - Larry, get his pants.
- Whoo! I actually have no idea what's going on here.
Harmon did not lie.
That was better than any drug I have ever had in my life.
I was tripping balls.
I saw my whole life flash before my eyes.
I might have to make some phone calls.
Let's see what's going on in my room, huh? Holy shit.
What the hell happened in here? Hey, excuse me, did you see anybody come in here? No? Something tells me our offensive coordinator doesn't appreciate my sense of humor as much as the state of Nebraska appreciated his wife's breasts.
Moran.
I'm sorry about your room.
Everybody liked it.
I'm sorry.
Did he just do a scene from the movie "top gun"? Probably the best movie ever made.
I often see myself as a thin Val Kilmer.
It's the final day of practice after a tumultuous week for the Mountain goats.
Will Marty Daniels be able to focus his team on winning Saturday's game? To be honest, the week has gone better than I expected.
Now if you look at this play, what we're trying to get is a seal here and a seal here.
And then we're gonna run it right in the alley.
Ahem.
So our left tackle is gonna come across Everything is coming together nicely.
I feel good.
I look good.
And I'm not worried one bit.
Neither am I.
Everything is under control.
Ow! God! I'm sorry.
Come on! Are you guys men? Move it, move it, move it! No way.
Moran, come here.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Take it off right now.
This is practice.
It's my practice Jersey.
You really want to do this, moran? You want to go to the mat with me? I guess so.
You can take that tape off your back right now or you can push that blocking sled the length of the field.
I haven't hit a blocking sled since High School And I'm feeling a little nostalgic.
Miss tits.
I didn't walk away from eight years at Stanford to take shit from a punk like you.
I'm very optimistic about our chances against Emerton.
We've beaten them I'm pretty optimistic too.
Why aren't you wearing a shirt? Hit it harder, you pussy! Hit it harder, smart guy.
Come on.
- Hit it harder, moran.
- This you see, we're like a family.
And every family has differences.
That's what makes us stronger.
Take the tape off your back.
I can't do that, coach.
It would be disrespectful to the people of Nebraska and the fine judgment of the miss tits competition committee.
You know my wife won't even talk to me after that stunt you pulled last night? Is that why you trashed my room? I don't know what you're talking about.
That's pretty childish, coach.
He's my quarterback.
I didn't trash anyone's room, harmon! I trashed the little prick's room.
I only did the miss tits pageant one time.
And yeah, I won.
I hate this town.
I just want to go back to Stanford.
They don't even have a Gucci store here no Gucci.
Can I get whipped cream? I felt like Gilday had crossed a line with Alex.
I didn't almost die, have cousin denis whisper eternal truths in my ear and get an icicle shoved up my ass to see my quarterback treated this way.
Oh, no no no no.
You get away from him.
- Hey, coach, coach.
- He doesn't get any help.
We're gonna have to create some turnovers defensively.
Exactly.
What the hell is going on? Damn it! You're nothing! Get back, moran.
Get back, coach.
You're nothing without me.
You're nothing.
Without my system you're nothing but a a what, huh? A half-blind orangutan? Yeah, they told me what you said.
- Get on the sled.
- Nope.
Get back on the sled! Get back on the sled.
Get back on the sled.
Get you get is everything okay? Are you all right? Get back on the sl What's? - Whoa.
- Okay, we've got another one.
Take his pants off.
I'm gonna have to cool down his core.
Hey, he looks pretty bad.
You might want to use two of those.
Got you.
Back away.
You're filming this, right? - Lucky bastard.
- Uh-huh.
Sometimes I long for the days where a coach could just strangle a player and nobody would bat an eye.
The icicle was embarrassing.
Also strangely enlightening.
There is a God.
He's 6' 5".
And he likes to gamble.
And so the sun sets on weekend practice at blue Mountain state.
Who deserve credit for their incredible season? Hell if I know.
Well That wasn't so bad.
Yeah.
It could have been much worse.
Yeah, you could have shoved that icicle up your ass.
Wonder who's the trainer keeps those around here.
" Hut! Not so funny now, is it, boys? Huddle up! On tonight's episode - Break! Blue Mountain state.
I can't believe I let you two talk me into this.
Relax, Marty.
You turned this whole team around.
Debra's right.
It's going to be a love letter to you.
Blue Mountain state is a storied franchise which has endured a turbulent 2011 season, yet somehow managed to come out on top.
Currently ranked #2 in the nation, the Mountain goats have won since losing their opener at home.
How did they manage to pull themselves out of the ashes and salvage what early on seemed to be a lost season? Has it been the emergence of junior quarterback Alex moran? Has it been aging, lame-duck legend Marty Daniels? Or has it been the acquisition of highly touted offensive coordinator Marcus Gilday, the man who affectionately calls himself: "The Genius"? You decide.
Welcome to "one week" at blue Mountain state.
Uh, popcorn's ready.
Can you feel that? You better hold on.
This one's about to get bumpy.
Give me a hell, give me a yeah hell yeah stand up right now give me a hell, give me a yeah stand up right now, right now give me a hell, give me a yeah stand up right now.
- - TV narrator: The sun rises on a new week for the 10-1 B.
M.
S.
Mountain goats.
Coach Marty Daniels is the second winningest coach in college football history and quickly closing in on Joe Paterno's all-time record for wins.
Is this okay? Is this in the way? Individual achievement means very little to me compared to what we accomplish as a team and as a family.
Although it would be really nice to kick Jopa's ass.
Not physically of course.
I mean, he's very short.
Nice.
Nice.
We've got a great young team with a bright future ahead of us.
But the question everyone is asking is will the future of B.
M.
S.
Include coach Daniels? Keep it up, boys.
I know it's hot out here.
Keep it up.
Offensive coordinator Marcus Gilday has been making waves with his high-powered offense, which is now ranked #3 in the country.
Move the legs! Move your legs! I think this team needed a shot in the arm and my mind was the syringe.
My knowledge was the medicine.
I'm thrilled to be considered the future of this storied program.
And I'm positive that I will have nothing but success here, especially with the support of my beautiful wife.
It's a charming little school.
- Yeah.
- Everyone is so so nice.
It's not quite Stanford, but what is, hmm? Who do I credit with the offensive explosion we're experiencing this season? Two people our quarterback Alex moran and me, because I was the one who chose to start moran when all the others doubted him.
- Focus! - And when I say others, I mean coaches.
Nice! Wozinski, very nice! And when I say coaches, I mean Gilday.
Come on.
Sloppy footwork.
All right, Alex, time to get up for practice.
Let's go, buddy.
What? What the hell? Alex moran, starting quarterback and loving it.
Life is good.
Am I right, ladies? Ladies? I try not to let the success go to my head too much.
But being the starting quarterback on a juggernaut offense definitely has its perks.
So my sisters they really want to meet you.
- Okay.
- Could I bring them by tonight? Are they legal? That's a very good question.
Are they legal? - Of course they're legal.
- Well then of course.
Yeah sure.
Oops-a-Daisy.
That is for Alex.
You said it was for me.
It's pretty good.
There's jelly and stuff over there.
I'm gonna throw some jelly on it.
Yeah! Argh! Not everyone on this Mountain goat team - has had a smooth year.
- Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Number 54 thad castle, the all-American senior linebacker, was sidelined by both an early suspension and a concussion.
Getting suspended and then getting that c-word was a real wake-up call.
I realized I needed to start thinking about life after football.
So as a fallback, I decided to study acting.
Burt Reynolds, Lawrence Taylor, Brian Bosworth all great football players turned amazing actors.
And we may forget because of all the horrible things he's done, but Bubba Smith was a real delight in those "police academy" movies.
Are you watching this, Larry? Yeah! I think I tore a pec.
Yeah, it's time to go big.
It's time to practice hard.
Looking good, harmon.
Smoking! Hey, nice muscles, Larry.
Somebody stop me! Hey, you got a big, um hey, come on, guys, we gotta play hard.
Let's go.
Let's go.
The first day of practice brings with it a pressure-cooking heat wave.
Let's go, moran.
No slacking off out there.
Hey, coach Gilday, what's with the makeover? Did your wife get you a gift certificate at the gap? This is haute couture, coach.
You look good, you feel good.
And you coach good.
You should give it a try, huh? Blue 16.
Blue 16.
Set hike! Yeah, way to go, moran! Great pass! That's what I'm talking about.
Alex moran's a good kid.
But at the end of the day, you could probably put in a half-blind orangutan as quarterback.
My system would prevail.
This coffee's cold, huh? Hut! Sloppy, moran, real sloppy.
I know it's hot out.
Get your head out of your ass.
Yeah, coach Gilday can be tough on me, but that just comes with the territory.
It's just important for me to keep my eyes on the prize.
Right, girls? Let's go, pretty boy.
Keep your head in the game.
Blue 16.
Set hut! What, are you hung over? Take a lap.
A lap! Now! Go go! Second team! Are you catching this? Sloppy feet.
Keep running! The truth is these kids need discipline.
I really believe they they want to be pushed to their limits and then good stuff happens.
Harmon! Harmon! - What the hell? - Okay, make way.
Clear out.
This is heat exhaustion.
I'm gonna cool down his core.
Take his pants off.
Hey, you really don't need to film this, all right? - Where are you gonna put that rod? - Okay, hold his leg up.
Stand back.
Oh oh oh! Oh God.
I said don't film this.
Get away.
Move that You're gonna be all right, son.
You're in good hands.
After a rocky start to the week, the Mountain goats prepare for their upcoming game against Emerton U.
I was a little surprised by the whole icicle-up-the-ass trick.
It's a little a little archaic.
I'm more of a smelling salts kind of guy.
So then the icicle went up my ass.
And all of a sudden I'm floating in an ethereal light.
That's when I heard my cousin Denis's voice telling me it wasn't my time.
Is your cousin dead? Nope.
That's the weird thing.
Also he lost his voice in a pencil-factory accident last year, so double weird.
Wow, that sounds amazing.
It was, better than any drug I've ever had.
- I highly recommend it.
- Okay.
- Moran.
- Yeah? I know it's not easy putting yourself out there every day, the national spotlight blinding your eyeballs.
I've seen it destroy tougher men than both of us.
But I'm here to tell you there's hope, brother.
We have to we have to line! "Lead these men with humility and courage.
" Shit! Let me try that again.
- Moran.
- Yeah? I know it's not easy putting yourself out there every day, the national spotlight blinding your eyeballs.
I've seen it destroy Like generals preparing for war, the B.
M.
S.
Coaches know that strategy and preparation are the keys to victory.
They're gonna come down hard right here.
You know, I love strategy meetings.
It's a time to learn about your opponent, to find out ways to take away any advantages they have.
We know Emerton is going to attack us from the inside on both offense and defense.
We also know this game is gonna be won in the trenches.
I didn't notice anything different about Marty's look.
He always dresses that way.
I mean, you know, he's a very hip guy.
Now watch this right here.
Right there.
Right there.
Let me run it back.
It's not working.
What's going on? We'll get it for you.
Of course I feel pressure, - because it comes with the job.
- Ah, okay.
But it doesn't come from any of my Gildays.
Honey, you said "Gildays.
" - Did I? - Mm-hmm.
I meant coaches.
The point is I don't feel any pressure except the pressure I put on myself to be a winner.
One of the things that I noticed when I arrived at B.
M.
S.
Was a lack of technology in the coaching department.
As you can see, Emerton's defense stopping runs to the left.
No shit.
Their best defensive player is their left end.
You don't need stats to know that.
Sabermetrics, coach.
Welcome to the 21st century.
So as I was saying, Emerton is most vulnerable right here.
What the who did this? That's my wife! Who the hell did this? Who the hell did this? This is not funny.
Huh huh? Come on.
- Hey, did you do this, moran? - Huh-uh.
Okay, everybody up! Outside right now.
"Miss tits.
" Not so funny now, is it, boys? Look, I understand.
Pranks can build camaraderie in a team.
I get that, all right? But there is a line that is crossed when it comes to my wife.
A funny little joke you had to play on my wife? Nebraska can be a very strange and overwhelming place for a young woman to grow up.
Right, honey? I'm not saying it was me, but my best friend here does happen to be a fan of regional breast competitions.
And I happen to have a photographic memory when it comes to boobs, so Miss hefty gumdrops, 2003.
And I'm right again.
So, hmm.
Come on in.
After several tense days of practice, the team decides to let off some steam at the goat house.
- What the hell was that? - This is a pretty typical night here at B.
M.
S.
Hi.
We work hard, but we play hard too.
See God, see God, see God, see God, see God, see God, see God, see God, see God Heat exhaustion! - Larry, get his pants.
- Whoo! I actually have no idea what's going on here.
Harmon did not lie.
That was better than any drug I have ever had in my life.
I was tripping balls.
I saw my whole life flash before my eyes.
I might have to make some phone calls.
Let's see what's going on in my room, huh? Holy shit.
What the hell happened in here? Hey, excuse me, did you see anybody come in here? No? Something tells me our offensive coordinator doesn't appreciate my sense of humor as much as the state of Nebraska appreciated his wife's breasts.
Moran.
I'm sorry about your room.
Everybody liked it.
I'm sorry.
Did he just do a scene from the movie "top gun"? Probably the best movie ever made.
I often see myself as a thin Val Kilmer.
It's the final day of practice after a tumultuous week for the Mountain goats.
Will Marty Daniels be able to focus his team on winning Saturday's game? To be honest, the week has gone better than I expected.
Now if you look at this play, what we're trying to get is a seal here and a seal here.
And then we're gonna run it right in the alley.
Ahem.
So our left tackle is gonna come across Everything is coming together nicely.
I feel good.
I look good.
And I'm not worried one bit.
Neither am I.
Everything is under control.
Ow! God! I'm sorry.
Come on! Are you guys men? Move it, move it, move it! No way.
Moran, come here.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Take it off right now.
This is practice.
It's my practice Jersey.
You really want to do this, moran? You want to go to the mat with me? I guess so.
You can take that tape off your back right now or you can push that blocking sled the length of the field.
I haven't hit a blocking sled since High School And I'm feeling a little nostalgic.
Miss tits.
I didn't walk away from eight years at Stanford to take shit from a punk like you.
I'm very optimistic about our chances against Emerton.
We've beaten them I'm pretty optimistic too.
Why aren't you wearing a shirt? Hit it harder, you pussy! Hit it harder, smart guy.
Come on.
- Hit it harder, moran.
- This you see, we're like a family.
And every family has differences.
That's what makes us stronger.
Take the tape off your back.
I can't do that, coach.
It would be disrespectful to the people of Nebraska and the fine judgment of the miss tits competition committee.
You know my wife won't even talk to me after that stunt you pulled last night? Is that why you trashed my room? I don't know what you're talking about.
That's pretty childish, coach.
He's my quarterback.
I didn't trash anyone's room, harmon! I trashed the little prick's room.
I only did the miss tits pageant one time.
And yeah, I won.
I hate this town.
I just want to go back to Stanford.
They don't even have a Gucci store here no Gucci.
Can I get whipped cream? I felt like Gilday had crossed a line with Alex.
I didn't almost die, have cousin denis whisper eternal truths in my ear and get an icicle shoved up my ass to see my quarterback treated this way.
Oh, no no no no.
You get away from him.
- Hey, coach, coach.
- He doesn't get any help.
We're gonna have to create some turnovers defensively.
Exactly.
What the hell is going on? Damn it! You're nothing! Get back, moran.
Get back, coach.
You're nothing without me.
You're nothing.
Without my system you're nothing but a a what, huh? A half-blind orangutan? Yeah, they told me what you said.
- Get on the sled.
- Nope.
Get back on the sled! Get back on the sled.
Get back on the sled.
Get you get is everything okay? Are you all right? Get back on the sl What's? - Whoa.
- Okay, we've got another one.
Take his pants off.
I'm gonna have to cool down his core.
Hey, he looks pretty bad.
You might want to use two of those.
Got you.
Back away.
You're filming this, right? - Lucky bastard.
- Uh-huh.
Sometimes I long for the days where a coach could just strangle a player and nobody would bat an eye.
The icicle was embarrassing.
Also strangely enlightening.
There is a God.
He's 6' 5".
And he likes to gamble.
And so the sun sets on weekend practice at blue Mountain state.
Who deserve credit for their incredible season? Hell if I know.
Well That wasn't so bad.
Yeah.
It could have been much worse.
Yeah, you could have shoved that icicle up your ass.
Wonder who's the trainer keeps those around here.