Family Ties (1982) s03e10 Episode Script

## I'll bet We've been together ## ## For a million years ## ## And I'll bet We'll be together ## ## For a million more ## ## Ooh, it's like I started breathin' ## ## On the night we kissed ## ## And I can't remember What I ever did before ## ## What would we do, baby ## ## Without us? ## ## What would we do, baby ## ## Without us? ## ## And there ain't No nothin' ## ## We can't love Each other through ## ## Ooh-hoo ## ## What would we do, baby ## ## Without us? ## ## Sha-la-la-la ## Yo, Elyse.
Look alive.
Oh, Steven.
And they say that pregnant women can't catch.
That's an old wives' tale.
Whoa.
Ha-ha-ha.
Do you realize that this is the actual football I used 13 years ago to teach Alex how to throw? I thought that was in the hall of fame? Nope, hall closet.
This is gonna be a great weekend for all of us, Elyse.
You and the girls up in the country, Alex and I here alone.
Really looking forward to it.
Yeah, me too.
This is a very pivotal weekend in my relationship with the girls.
After the baby's born, I'm not gonna have many opportunities to spend time with them alone, you know, real quality time.
Oh, Steven.
Mm? I made a surprise for the girls.
It's a complete photo history of our lives together as mother and daughters.
"Keaton Girls: Oh, How We've Grown.
" I didn't know we were supposed to make things.
Oh, I've gone all out.
I- I have a complete list of activities, Each item is specifically selected to spark memories and generate closeness.
Heh-heh.
What have you got besides the football? Do you have any extra pictures? Oh.
Oh, that's okay.
I'm sure Alex will be happy enough just to see his old ball.
That's all you've got, huh? Jennifer's got some clay.
Maybe I could build a scale model Oh, that's okay, Steven.
I'm sure he'll be happy with his football.
I- I don't know if we're doing the right thing, not telling the kids what the weekend is about.
Oh, I'm sure we are.
Don't wanna put any pressure on 'em.
Let 'em think that our only motive is to have a good time.
That could work.
Well, anyway, I'm not gonna show the football to Alex now.
You know how he doesn't like to get too emotional in front of women.
I'll hide it.
Give it to him at just the right moment when we're alone.
Good idea.
What you cooking, Dad? Uh, soufflé.
Okay, Mom, car's all packed.
Let's hit the road.
An entire weekend without boys.
I haven't had one of those since I hit puberty.
It's gonna be quite a test for me.
My prayers are with you.
All right, girls.
Let's go.
Keaton girls to the car.
Okay, bye-bye, sweetheart.
Keaton guys, you're on your own.
Oh, we'll do all right.
Drive safe, Mom.
Take care, honey.
Have fun.
Dad.
Yeah? Your football's ready.
Hey, Alex.
Whoa.
What are you doing, Dad? You know, you could break something.
Come on, Alex.
What are you worried about? We got the house to ourselves.
Just the guys.
Let me see that arm.
Good toss, son.
Ah, sorry, Dad.
No, no.
No, it was my fault.
I should have dove for it.
You know, uh, that's not just any ball, Alex.
Yeah, I know, Dad.
It's a ball with glass on it.
That is the Bart Starr autographed model we used to toss around in Lincoln Park when you were a kid.
Remember? Not really, Dad, no.
Come on, don't you remember? I taught you to throw with this ball.
Are you sure that was me? Well, sure.
Sure.
Heh.
It was you.
You You were about, uh, 5.
I used to take you down on Sundays after you finished watching Meet the Press.
Then, uh Then afterwards, uh, we'd, uh, stop at the old Dairy Queen, get a couple of soft cones.
You always got extra sprinkles.
Heh.
Oh, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
That was the vacation we took to Colorado.
No, no.
It was here at Lincoln Park.
All right.
All right, Dad.
I'll take your word for it.
Those were good times, weren't they? The best.
Oh, anyway, what do you say we, uh, go down there and toss the ol' pigskin around? Dad, I'd have to change and everything.
Oh.
Yeah, well Well, this is it.
This is it? This is it.
This is it? It looks I know it's a little rough around the edges, but the important thing is we'll be together.
We're gonna have a great time.
Well, where's our room? This is it.
Where's your room? This is it.
Where's the bathroom? If you say this is it, I'm leaving.
The bathroom is two cabins down.
Look, we're only gonna be here for the weekend.
We can make the best of it.
Well, we might as well unpack.
No, no.
Let's leave the unpacking till later.
I'm too excited.
Oh, let's just sit down and have a rap session.
What do you wanna wrap? Uh, no.
Not Not wrap with a W.
This is rap with an R.
Um, it's It's a term we used in the '60s.
It means talk, but "talk session" didn't sound right, so we used to say Well, never mind.
Let's just sit down and talk.
What do you wanna talk about? Uh, well, um, I w-wanna talk about the change that's gonna happen in our lives when the baby comes home.
Uh, I wanna know how How you feel, what What your thoughts are, your Your fears, your expectations.
Tell me everything.
I don't wanna change any diapers.
Good.
This is good.
And this is exactly the kind of thing we wanna get out in the open.
What else is on your mind, Mal? Nothing.
Uh, Jennifer, w- w-what about you? I mean, you've always been the youngest, the baby.
This is all gonna change.
Do you have any special feelings that you want to discuss? I'm still feeling a little carsick.
I'm afraid I might throw up.
Thanks for sharing that with us, Jen.
She asked for my feelings.
That's not what she meant.
You don't have to be so gross.
Girls.
Girls.
Hey, wait.
Maybe this isn't the right time for a rap session.
Maybe Maybe we can ease into that one later.
Um Oh.
Oh, I've got an idea.
I was gonna save this for tomorrow, but we're in the mood now, so why not? Heh.
I don't believe it.
You brought a photo album with you? Oh, this is not just any photo album.
This is an album that I made up of our history together as mother and daughters.
Keaton Girls: Oh, How We've Grown.
These are old pictures, Mom.
I know they're old pictures.
That's the point.
Well, there's none in here of Alex or Dad.
I know.
That's the point.
It's It's just us.
But we've seen these pictures before, haven't we? No, not like this.
Not all together.
See? Not Not in this format.
They're still the same old pictures.
They are not the same old pictures.
When you put 'em all together in one book, they take on a totally different meaning.
Now, they show the joy and the closeness that we've shared down through the years.
Now, sit down and share the joy.
Say, I I got it.
How about a game of chess, huh? Yeah, okay.
All right, Dad, uh, if you really want to.
Okay, all right.
This is great.
All right, so, uh, play a few games of chess, and we'll go out for a real man's night on the town, huh? Get a couple of big steaks, very rare, then, uh, back here for brandy and cigars.
Hello.
Oh, hi.
Uh, Susie.
Oh, I'm fine.
I'm fine.
Oh, what? You mean right now? Well, Susie, you kidding me? I mean, I'd love to But I can't.
No, no.
I Ah, it's just not possible.
No.
Look, thanks for calling.
Okay.
Bye-bye.
We're all set.
Don't think you're gonna mop up the board with your old dad tonight.
I got some new strategy lined up.
Ha-ha-ha.
Go ahead.
You move first, lad.
Heh.
That, uh That was Susie Farkas.
Susie Farkas? Yeah.
You remember her.
I had this big crush on her all the way through high school.
She wouldn't even talk to me then.
So anyway, she just, uh She came into town to surprise her folks, but, uh, they weren't home.
So she called me and invited me over to her, um, empty house now.
Oh.
Oh, well, uh Hey, I-listen, Alex.
If If you'd like to go over there, believe me, I understand.
No.
No.
No, don't be silly, Dad.
No, no, my feelings for Susie Farkas were nothing more than a passing schoolboy crush.
Come on.
I'm over that.
No, I'd much rather just hang around here with you.
Play chess.
Okay.
I mean, we're, uh We're in the middle of a game here, you know? It wouldn't be right for me to just pick up and leave in the middle of a game.
If the game were over, you know, then that would be a different matter entirely.
Bad move, Alex.
Bad move.
Checkmate.
Whoa.
Oh.
Whoa.
Dad.
Holy cow.
I didn't even Whoa.
Nice move.
Boy, you pulled that out of a hat.
Holy cow.
Boy, when I took your Your rook, your knight, your bishop, and your queen, I thought I had you beat, but, boy, I didn't even see that.
Ooh.
Nice move, Dad.
Whew.
Go ahead, Alex.
Go to Susie Farkas'.
Don't mind if I do, Dad.
Catch you later.
Oh, Dad.
Mm? Thanks.
And when I brought you home from the hospital, Jennifer, Mallory wanted you to sleep in her toy chest with her dolls.
You remember that, Mallory? Mallory? Oh, I'm sorry.
Were you talking to me? Apparently, I was talking to myself.
Mom, can I go out and see if there are any kids we met the last time we were up here? Oh, great idea.
Maybe somebody brought a radio.
Oh, wait a minute.
This is not exactly what I had in mind when I planned this weekend.
Don't worry, Mom.
We'll be back before dark.
Nice rapping with you.
Hello.
Hello, Elyse.
How are you? Steven, oh, it's so nice to talk to you.
What's wrong? You sound a little blue.
Aren't you and the girls getting along all right? Oh Oh, yes.
Oh, we're having a wonderful time.
Uh, girls, I'll be over there with you in just a minute.
Uh, oh, go ahead.
You can look through that old photo album one more time.
Oh, you're welcome.
I tell ya, ever since I got here, it's been go, go, go.
I'm I'm having the same thing with Alex.
Yes, son, I'll be happy to toss the football around with you again, just as soon as I finish talking with your mother.
Oh.
Heh.
Well, I Oh, let me say hello to Alex.
What? I- I wanna say hi to Alex.
You can't.
Uh, I mean, um, he's already gone outside, and, um, he's got his cleats on.
Oh, okay.
Well, tell him I miss him.
I miss you too, honey.
I miss you too, Elyse.
Um, give the girls a big hug for me.
Oh, I will.
Oh, girls, I'll be over there in just a minute to give you a big hug.
You You hug each other till I get there.
All right, sweetheart.
Well, I'll see you tomorrow.
Okay.
Bye, Elyse.
Keaton Girls.
Ugh, how you've grown.
MAN And Albertson makes a beautiful 8-2 spare.
That moves him into fourth place.
Oh, hi, Mr.
Keaton.
Oh, hey.
How are you? Great to see you.
Are you talking to me? Of course I'm talking to you, Skippy.
Come on in.
Come on in.
I'm? I'm not interrupting something? Oh, don't be silly.
In fact, I'm all alone here.
Alex has a date.
The girls are off camping.
They won't be back till tomorrow.
So it's just you, huh? So, Skipper What's been happening in your life these days? I almost killed a lizard yesterday.
You are really something special.
Hey, you wanna play some chess? The board's all set up.
No, no.
I don't know how to play chess.
Oh, it's easy.
I can teach you in two minutes.
Sit down.
No, thanks, Mr.
Keaton, but the reason I stopped by is because I need a lift to the library.
See, both my parents are out.
Oh.
Oh, well, sure.
Sure.
I'll be glad to.
Thank you.
I really appreciate it.
Uh, you wanna stop at the park on the way there, uh, maybe toss a football around? No.
Uh, the Dairy Queen is right on the way.
I'll buy you a cone.
No, I-I've gotta get to the library.
Okay, sure.
Uh, oh, say, I can help you with whatever you're working on.
I'm good at using a card catalog.
Mr.
Keaton, all I need is a lift.
That's it.
Just a lift.
Let's go.
Can I teach you how to drive? Just a lift! Here, Mom.
Here it is.
The movie starts at 6:00.
If we leave now, we can make it.
Can we, Mom? Please.
Please, Mom? All right.
A-all right.
Yeah, you can go to the movies.
Just be back no later than 8:30.
Thanks, Mom.
Thank you.
Yeah.
I hope you're not mad about us wanting to come home early.
No.
You know, we had a great time while we were up there.
Yeah, it was a great day in the country.
It wasn't a day, it was an hour and a half.
You're forgetting the drive.
That was seven hours.
Go to the movies.
Bye.
Elyse.
Hi.
Well, what? What are you doing home? Is everything all right? Oh, everything's fine.
We just came home early to avoid the traffic.
But you had a good time? Oh.
Oh, we had a wonderful time.
Oh, the girls and I had a fabulous day.
We We looked at the photo album.
We talked about old times.
We laughed.
We cried.
It was wonderful.
Where are they now? Who? The girls.
The The girls.
Uh, the girls are, uh, out making copies of photos.
How? How are things going with you and Alex? Great.
Great.
Wonderful.
Today we were, uh Huh? Huh? Yeah.
Heh-heh.
But you're eating alone? No, not at all.
I- in fact, Alex is on his way home from the market right now with his own frozen dinner.
We're having a race.
All right.
All right, we're not having a race.
Alex hasn't been here all day.
He went over to Susie Farkas' house.
The girls aren't out making copies.
They're at the movies.
We came home early 'cause they were bored out of their minds.
I guess this didn't turn out the way we planned, huh? I tried, Steven.
I really tried.
I mean, I-I steered the conversation towards all the old things we used to talk about.
I had the photo album, but they weren't interested.
Now, look, we shouldn't feel too bad about this.
It was bound to happen.
The kids are older now.
Their lives are expanding to include more and more things all the time.
Well, I say we put a stop to it.
Elyse.
Well, the depressing thing is it doesn't look like it's gonna get any better.
Aren't you forgetting something, Elyse? We're gonna have a baby in the house pretty soon.
So what? The baby's not gonna wanna look at the photo album.
You know, this is nice.
We should be happy to have a little quiet time to spend like this before the baby's born.
I am happy.
The best part is, we have each other to spend it with.
Oh, well, great.
Glad to see somebody's having a good time tonight.
Hey, Alex, what are you doing home so early? I thought you had a date with the legendary Susie Farkas.
I did.
Unfortunately, so did three other guys.
We all sat around her house and watched professional bowling on TV.
You know, the only one who paid any attention to me was her dog, Pierre? I told him to get off my leg, and he barked.
I'm sorry it went so badly for you.
Ah, don't worry about it, Dad.
Tell you what.
It's kind of reassuring to come home after a night like tonight, and find you the two of you on the couch carrying on like a couple of crazy teenagers.
Makes me feel like everything's all right, you know? Oh, great.
They're here.
Oh.
Ho-ho.
Hi, Dad.
I really missed you.
Mm.
Hi, Alex.
W- what are you guys doing home now? Is the movie out already? No, Mallory saw some boy she knew, then we had to leave.
She didn't wanna be seen with me.
It's nothing personal, Jennifer.
I just don't want him to think I've got nothing better to do on a Saturday night but to hang around with you.
Now, who could take that personally? Mom, we really need to talk.
I need to reevaluate my whole life.
Do you have a minute? I think you're underestimating your problem, Mallory.
I think it would take a team of mothers working around the clock.
Come on, Mom.
Come up to my room.
Oh, Mallory, you don't mind if we wait until tomorrow to talk, do you? I'm really pretty tired.
I thought I'd finish this chapter and go to bed.
I think I'll join you, Elyse.
Oh, Daddy, please don't go to bed yet.
I haven't see you all day.
We have a lot of catching up to do.
Come on, you guys, if I'd have known I was gonna spend the evening with Mallory and Jennifer I would've stayed with Susie Farkas and Pierre.
I don't know, Alex.
We're pretty tired.
Come on, you guys.
It's not the same without you two.
Yeah, come on, stay.
Yeah, come on.
Look, you can sleep any time.
We're all together now.
Let's do something.
You know, we don't do enough family stuff anymore.
Hey, I got a great idea.
I could make some popcorn, and we can all watch old movies on TV.
There you go.
Great idea.
Okay.
Why don't you kids do that, and we'll just toodle upstairs here.
All right.
Okay, all right.
All right, all right.
You win.
Get your old Peace Corps films.
We'll watch those.
Both reels? Yeah, okay.
Both reels.
All right.
Okay, great.
Come on, Jen.
You can help me make popcorn.
Are you sure you wanna be seen with me? You never know who you might run into in the kitchen.
Come on.
What do you make of this, Steven? This morning we were the two most boring people in the world.
And now they can't get enough of us.
Um, maybe with kids, you just have to take it when you can get it.
We've got everybody together, and we're gonna have a nice, quiet family evening.
And if anybody tries to run out, I say we smack 'em.