Franklin and Bash (2011) s03e10 Episode Script
Gone in a Flash
Jaws.
Jaws? - Yeah.
- No he's not a sea monster.
Jaws was technically a shark.
- Jaws was a killing machine.
- Yeah.
- Swamp thing.
- Swamp thing? It's not a sea.
That's technically the swamp.
Sea monster's got to come out of a large body of water.
All right, the sea monster in "Cloverfield.
" Nope.
Sea monster's name's got to be in the title.
The monster wasn't called "Cloverfield.
" - No, dude, you do this every time.
- What? - You make up the rules as you go along.
- I'm not making up the rules.
- You're just not adhering to the rules.
- You know what? "Anaconda," as in "bite me.
" All right, why are we doing I hate running.
This is stupid.
Pick it up, guys.
That's why we're doing this.
- I'm going home.
- Sure you can make it? - No.
- It's about 50 yards.
Shut up.
Morning.
Good morning.
So, I want to clear the air.
Clear the air? Yeah, that counterstrike that you lobbed over.
- Counterstrike? - Yeah.
You trying to make me jealous by being at Rob Lowe's house.
Oh, that.
Oh, yes, I was trying to make you jealous.
Yeah.
No, I went over to Rob's hoping hoping that you would launch a drone and then fly over his house and spy on me.
I wasn't spying on Pindar was look, no one was spying on anyone, okay? I just I was just curious what you were doing there hanging out with Rob.
I was visiting his wife.
She's one of my good friends.
He's married? Okay.
Who's the porn star you were with? - Nobody.
- Hmm? The problem with Charlie and I is that we had this start to a relationship, but we're already at the end and never got to enjoy a middle.
You never had a montage.
A movie montage? You know, a sunset walk on the beach, riding the same ferris wheel, sharing snow cones.
Sharing the same snow cone, puking off a ferris wheel.
You know, the montage the part of the movie where I go get candy.
What are you talking about? You're the one that camped out to see "Dirty Dancing.
" - I was a kid.
- "Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights.
" "Team America" was sold out.
I wanted to see "Team America.
" Carmen's right.
I need a montage.
Ugh.
Hey.
Hey, Rob Lowe's assistant, Gary.
Why are you knocking? Don't you usually just sneak in? - The name's Greg.
- Oh, okay.
Why were you flying a drone over Rob Lowe's house? I don't know what you're talking about.
I'm talking about the drone you used to spy on Rob.
I don't own a drone.
Then why is there a sticker on it that reads, "if lost or stolen, please return to Pindar Singh, Oh, yeah.
I mean, I did have one, but then I lost it.
It's called a U.
A.
V.
- Uh-huh.
- Unmanned aerial vehicle? Can we help you? Your roommate was spying on Rob, just like all the other paparazzi who swarm the beach.
Rob is suing Mr.
Singh for invasion of privacy.
His lawyers will be in touch.
I was using my U.
A.
V.
to keep an eye Toxic Tsunami debris got it.
But your U.
A.
V.
crash-landed on Rob Lowe's deck.
It was shot down! I was looking for this package that I never received.
- Mega ab belt? - It works, Peter.
Anyway, they said that they delivered it, so I may have done a sweep of Rob Lowe's house while I was looking for it.
You know what? If Rob Lowe wants a fight he's got one.
We got to get facials.
Ooh, what a mixture Such a vivid picture Ooh, what a mixture If I must say so myself Gone In A Flash You're here early.
I like to see who gets in first.
You win.
I didn't sleep last night.
- Why? - Did you check out this morning's Times? Vanessa Jaffey's resigning.
She was secretly videotaping the cases in her courtroom so she could land a job as the next Judge Judy.
There's gonna be a vacancy on the bench? Yeah, and I have an interview on Thursday.
Oh, this is the universe righting itself.
You were meant to become a judge, Damien.
I know.
It feels that way, right? I mean, the only question is, can I survive getting hammered on killing Judge Dinsdale? - Oh.
- They'll go deeper than that.
They'll ask questions like have you ever accepted payment other than lawyer fees? Had any drug or alcohol issues? Or ever engaged in an inappropriate relationship in the workplace? Okay, and the answer to that would be an emphatic no.
You are lying.
- I'm not.
- I can feel you lying.
Okay, is this a test? Because the last time that I tried to kiss you, it didn't go so Mm, mm.
The walls are made of glass.
- I know.
Hot, huh? - Mm.
Say, ooh, la la, la la, la la la Ooh, la la, la la la, la la - Hey.
- Hey.
Wait up.
- What are you guys doing here this early? - We work here.
We wanted to pick your brain.
Remember that privacy case last year with Lindsay? I don't.
I'm sorry.
I have to get back to these What do you mean, "I got to get back to " to what? What's wrong with you? You okay? Yeah, I'm great.
There's nothing wrong with me in any way.
- You smell weird.
- Yeah.
Like couscous.
- It's my Moroccan mint body wash.
- What? You just had sex.
- Rachel.
- Rachel.
You closed that deal.
You closed that deal Please, I did not have sex I I wish.
That would be - He so got laid.
You got laid.
- By whom? - I don't know.
Summer associate? - Well, it is the last week of school.
Maybe one last week, one last fling.
You asked me about Lindsay.
What? - Can't remember.
- I forget.
- Excellent.
Goodbye.
- Zipper's down.
This lawsuit against Pindar it's collateral damage because of my war of Yes, we know all because he stole Jacqueline Bisset from you.
Only a master can trifle with a beast like Rob.
I want to be first chair on this one.
Uh, sir, you know, that might agitate opposing counsel.
Yeah, I suppose you're right.
Well, I just wish we could keep this feud out of the courts.
You know, settle it like men, as the turks do with Kirkpinar.
You know, they're naked except for leather pants, and they pour olive oil all over their bodies and then wrestle in a grassy field until the first man is pinned.
Sir, it's Bisset you're upset about losing, right? What's the plan? Well, it's perfectly legal to fly a domestic drone.
Pindar wasn't recording pictures, let alone intending to sell any, and it was over public airspace when he lost control of it.
So we suspect that Rob Lowe shot the drone down, didn't return Pindar's property, which is a misdemeanor.
Ohh! Going on the offensive.
I like that.
Wonderful.
Good.
You're filing a countersuit.
Yes, Your Honor.
Shocking.
For what, pray tell? "Pray tell"? What is this, the old globe? We're suing for the return of our client's drone.
Pindar Singh was flying his drone under the 400-foot ceiling required in California and was doing a service to his neighbors, scanning the area for toxic Tsunami debris.
The drone wasn't in Mr.
Lowe's airspace, which is designated as the open space above the property lines.
Your Honor, if the drone wasn't over Mr.
Lowe's airspace, how did it end up landing on his deck? So glad you asked.
Your Honor, if we may demonstrate with a clone drone, since the plaintiff refuses to give the original back to our client? Can you operate it safely? Your Honor, I have a PS3 "Ace Combat's" pilot license.
That would be a gaming license you earned online? - That's correct, Your Honor.
- Proceed.
And the circus comes to town.
So, Your Honor, this fan is going to simulate an onshore flow roughly about 7 knots.
Now, Mr.
Singh was piloting this drone remotely from his house, just cruising along the beach, heading north.
- Here it comes.
- Go up a little higher.
I got it.
It's all good.
Now, the drone was in front of Mr.
Lowe's deck.
But then, all of a sudden, it lost power.
Now, our theory is Mr.
Lowe shot it down or disabled it.
Shot it down with what? A surface-to-air missile? Bow and arrow? Do you have witnesses? Would you please stay in your seats during flight? We believe that Mr.
Lowe used an app on his smartphone, the same app that he used to remotely open our garage door - and steal our boogie board.
- Hey! Hi! Your honor, these allegations are not even remotely tethered to fact.
Now, the drone lost power, and the onshore breeze pushed it onto Mr.
Lowe's deck.
- Oh! - All right! Where it crash-landed behind enemy lines.
Your Honor Mr.
Lowe did not shoot down this drone.
Your Honor, Mr.
Singh was not taking pictures of Mr.
Lowe or Mr.
Lowe's family.
Fine.
Mr.
Lowe will happily give back Mr.
Singh's drone if Mr.
Singh will surrender his iPad and computer hard drives so that we may forensically search them for pictures of Mr.
Lowe or his family.
And if not, we'd like to ask the court the right to do so.
- We have no problem - This is unacceptable! Okay.
Uh can we have a minute, Your Honor? What's the problem if you didn't take any incriminating photos? Well, I didn't, but would you want your computer frisked, your entire search history digitally examined? - You delete your history, right? - That's what we do.
Yes, but they can retrieve erased data.
Really? Your Honor, a forensic search of our client's computer violates his fourth amendment rights.
Well, given that Mr.
Singh was flying a drone armed with a camera that landed on Mr.
Lowe's deck, I believe plaintiff's request falls within Mr.
Lowe's expectation of privacy and outside Mr.
Singh's.
- Oh, God.
- Therefore, Mr.
Singh will surrender his computer for a narrowly defined search under the supervision of this court.
Ugh.
Bile What the hell is on that computer? Stop it.
Swallow it.
Thank you for coming here, Mr.
Karp.
Thank you.
It's my pleasure to be here.
You killed the honorable judge Dinsdale, correct? Accidentally, yes.
Judge Dinsdale was a great man.
- This must be hard for you.
- Yes.
It's been a very difficult couple of weeks.
So let's move past this.
Mr.
Karp, how did you come to work at Infeld-Daniels? Well, that's a good question.
I had several offers to join other firms Several? From where? Well, Fugate and Towne, Wilbur, Jenkins and Monroe.
So, a couple? That I can remember, yes.
Go on.
Anyway, I was going to take the Fugate and Towne offer, but then Stanton Infeld came to me with a very generous counter.
Stanton Infeld is your Uncle? Oh, yes he is my Uncle, which is why, initially, I didn't want to go with Infeld-Daniels.
I didn't want anyone to think that nepotism had factored into my hiring at all.
Why was Stanton Infeld's offer so generous, given that your bar score and résumé, although respectable, are hardly spectacular? I think it's probably because he knew me so well.
He saw up close the passion that I had for the law and for an unbiased justice system.
Why was Rachel King brought in over you to manage the firm? Well, there you go that is a perfect example of my Uncle's lack of nepotism.
I've been continually passed over for managing partner.
So, then you think you deserve some favoritism.
No.
Not at all.
What are we to make of your choice at age 9 to dress up for Halloween as a fried corpse, freshly electrocuted in the electric chair? - Mr.
Karp? - I'm sorry.
What was the question again? Cheer up, Pindy.
We found your missing package.
Mega ab belt right behind the planter.
Oh, great my cellmate can lay his head on my rock-hard abs.
There you go.
There's nothing to worry about.
All rise! After reviewing the results of the forensic search of Mr.
Singh's smart tablet and computer, the court has found no evidence that the defendant was photographing or video-recording the plaintiff.
Therefore, Mr.
Lowe's case against Mr.
Singh is dismissed.
Never had any doubt.
Best legal team money can buy.
You guys know you didn't actually do anything, right? - The judge just ruled on his own.
- Shut up.
Hi.
Hello.
So, why won't your client get in the same room with me? Well, theoretically, it's impossible since he has a restraining order on you.
Then I want you to give him a message.
Will you tell him that I am ready to settle this thing once and for all? And we can negotiate the terms for what will be our final confrontation.
I'll let him know.
- Good.
- Yeah.
Have a nice day.
- And you, too.
- Mm.
Prick.
Life takes you by the hand But I still hate to see you going Just friends.
So, I wrote it.
It's "don't go, hate you going.
" Sounds similar to Green Day's "Good Riddance.
" - No, it doesn't.
- Yes, it does.
It doesn't dude, you're totally messing with my montage.
Get out of here.
Are you sure? All right, I'm leaving.
Hey, it's me.
Hi.
Hi.
I was just wondering if you could step on the balcony.
Oh, you're you're coming out of the shower.
Well, that's even better.
Hey! - Hey! - Dude, what? I just saw Charlie's father drive up with Tess.
- They're going in the house.
- Are you serious? Oh, my God uh, help me.
Okay.
Hi.
- Hi! Hey.
- Hi, Charlie.
- Why does Peter hate us? - Uh - What does it say? - "Go, hate you.
" Hey, you stay away from my kid.
You hear me? No.
No, no.
Like, this this isn't me.
- It's a Green Day song.
- Yeah.
Just go back to the Venice boardwalk, you freak.
Hey! Is that where you got that hat? - Huh? - Okay, all right.
Okay, all right.
You mind if I use it as a tip jar? - I'm heading back to Venice.
- No, we don't need anything.
- We're good.
- I'll meet you in the drum circle.
Come on on the upside, "go, I hate you" is a much better song title and less of a rip-off.
No, you know what this is? This is an eye-opener, man.
I I I don't need this.
I don't need the drama of a of a single mom or kid, a crazy ex? Look it's a misunderstanding.
You explain it to her, she's gonna be fine.
Relax.
I got it! Like always.
That was a great song.
- It was a song.
- It was one of my better ones.
It was one of yours.
Ooh.
Hello, size-31 abs.
- Pindar Singh? - Yes.
I'm J.
D.
Adhira with C.
I.
B.
Good God we're both brown, brother.
I expect to be harassed by the FBI, the CIA, the NSA, the TSA, but not one of our own.
Colvard Insurance brokers.
You might have seen our bus.
No, I haven't seen your bus.
Circles around? No? I haven't seen all the buses in L.
A.
, okay? Well, look around.
Open your eyes.
C.
I.
B.
, all right? C.
I.
B.
's also India's Central Intelligence Bureau.
Yeah, that's not me.
Can I give you a piece of advice? Next time, just say "Colvard Insurance Brokers" instead of "C.
I.
B.
" Saves a little bit of time, C.
I.
B.
, so Is this saving time? - Well, you know, in this case, no.
- How can I help you? I'm looking for Jared Franklin and Peter Bash.
Their names are on the insurance policy of the house that burned down in Silver Lake.
- Mm-hmm.
Come in.
- Thanks.
Our insurance case was closed.
It was.
And you each received a $135,000 cash settlement.
But a new piece of evidence has come to light.
May I? This footage was pulled off of Mr.
Singh's computer and red-flagged by the court's forensics analyst in the Rob Lowe case and sent to us.
By the way, does Rob Lowe just live nearby? Is he, like, really close or something? - Can we just get to it? - All right, well, it looks like you guys have a good handle on this.
Nice meeting you.
I'm Why don't you hang out with us for a minute? Why are you filming all this? This is what happens when we leave you alone? How old are you? Why do you keep looking at her like that? Why is this red-flagged? This stuff isn't even in the top 100 of weird things you do.
Just wait.
- What are you doing? Hey.
Whoa! Mr.
Singh performed this trick around the same day your house mysteriously burned down June 19th as evidenced by the termite tent over the window here.
Okay, I can explain - Pindar.
- Save it.
Burn pattern suggested the flash point was in the kitchen area, where this video took place, and there were traces of nitric and sulfuric acid on site, two chemicals found in magician's flash paper.
Okay.
It was spontaneous combustion.
It was the phosphine that interacted - with the nitric and the sulfuric acid - Let me guess here you're gonna reopen the investigation to find out what caused the fire? That is correct.
Hope you haven't spent too much of that settlement money.
Pindy, it's not so much that we're upset you burned the house down and everything we owned.
Including all our clothes.
And all my baby pictures.
You think I wanted to burn down my entire Happy Meal collection? It took me 25 years of my life to get that together.
We're upset because you lied to us about it.
Now it looks like we falsified our insurance claim.
Which means they can come after our settlement money, which we don't have.
That's nothing.
They're looking at me like I'm an arsonist.
You have to believe me, I did not lie.
I had nothing to do with that fire.
- Then explain what we saw.
- Because what it looked like was that you were igniting a fireball inside a giant striped bag filled with flammable chemicals.
That is not spontaneous combustion.
Yes, Jared, I did find your flash paper.
But shouldn't you be held accountable for carelessly leaving flammable, dangerous, combustible materials around where children could find them? But you don't see me blaming you.
Okay, I I can't talk to him.
He's you deal with him.
Why were you recording it? I can explain that.
You guys know Vine, right? - Mm-hmm.
- Okay, so, I set up my cellphone in the kitchen, 'cause the lighting was better.
I got the trick shot, and I was gonna post it.
There was no fire.
There was no explosion.
But once the house burned down, I thought having a clip of me with an incendiary device would be a bad idea.
- Yes.
- Yeah.
You have to believe me, guys me doing the fire trick in the kitchen and the house exploding are completely unrelated.
How should we handle this? For starters, let's find out everything we can on this insurance adjuster.
Tell the truth.
No one's done anything wrong.
What if the truth doesn't get it done? Then we fight fire with fire.
Where did we go wrong? It's the video games he plays.
I don't know.
Greg Baker is here.
Oh, yeah, send him in.
Thanks.
Ah, Greg please, come in.
Come in.
Sit down.
Can I get you something? Tea? No, thanks.
I won't be long.
Rob will talk to you if you give his sword back as a gesture of, you know, good faith.
Uh, what sword? The sword you stole from Rob's study when he hosted the neighborhood-watch meeting.
Oh, no.
There's some mistake.
Th this is an ancient Masamune sword.
This was given to me by one of his 15 disciples.
His name was Tom Cruise.
No.
Uh, I believe it had more of an Asian ring to it.
No, Tom Cruise gave it to him.
That's a prop sword from his movie "The Last Samurai.
" - Really? - Yeah.
Well Well, I wonder where mine went, then.
Perhaps it was confiscated at the airport when I returned from Africa.
Hmm.
Perhaps.
Uh, well, anyway Uh, okay.
Thank you.
We'll we'll be in touch.
Mm.
Fine.
Wow.
Why? Why what? Why did you bone me with the judicial committee? - Damien, what on earth are you talking about? - Oh, come on, Stanton.
For 10 years, you have kept me from rising in this firm, and then when I decide to leave Infeld-Daniels-King to become a judge, you C-block me.
Wait a minute I I had absolutely no idea you were being interviewed by the judicial committee.
The only person who could have known that I trick-or-treated as a fried corpse would be you because I came to your house.
Was that the year I was giving out hamsters? No, but I remember the year, because you didn't answer the door even though you knew it was me.
Ever since your African epiphany, you have been motivated to help everyone in the world except those in your own family.
I'm telling you the truth when I tell you that I didn't tell the judicial committee about your Halloween costume.
Okay.
But a while back I did tell someone else.
What is your definition of customary international law? It doesn't matter what my definition is.
Where there is no treaty, no controlling executive or judicial decision, it's up to the civilized nations.
When do the questions get difficult? You know, we could bring a false claims act suit against our insurance company if this goes to the next level.
You think Pindar's telling the truth? Trying not to think about it, because if I do I don't like what I'm thinking.
Me, too.
Is that our music? It's outside.
And I decided that I should play Throw your arms around my neck Looks like you got your montage back.
I won't be soon to forget Throw your arms around my neck To Carmen, for explaining to me that you didn't hate me.
I won't be soon to forget Excuse me.
No alcoholic beverages allowed at this beach.
Ah, but what if I have a montage permit? Have a nice day.
All right, everyone.
I'd just like to say thank you, in particular to our summer associates.
Thank you, thank you.
And please do us the honor of joining us on a more permanent basis next year.
Thank you.
Now, the boys here, they have a few announcements.
Yeah.
Of course.
You guys are all invited to our barbecue on Thursday at the beach house.
- Yep.
- Ah, I never get tired of saying that.
Never get tired of hearing it.
And I hope we've made as good an impression on you as you've made on us.
And speaking of impressions, we are not the litigious type, so at the beach house, feel free to press up against us.
You're hitting on a pack of starving lawyers with student loans to pay off.
- They're starving.
- Yeah.
- We got food.
- And drinks.
- And beds.
- So So see you at the beach.
Hey, you guys, let me get in on this while everyone is in such a festive mood.
I would like to propose a toast to my mentor Rachel King.
- Come on, everybody.
- Yeah.
To Rachel.
- Huh, Rachel.
- Thank you.
No.
Oh, no.
Thank you.
Because the word is that you may be looking at the newest Los Angeles Superior Court judge.
Whoa.
Wow.
Good one, Karp.
Yeah, yeah.
It's okay.
What a pleasant surprise.
Well, congratulations, Damien.
That's fantastic.
Wonderful news.
Great.
Who'd you kill? I know what you're thinking, Rachel.
You're like, how did I get the appointment after you told the committee members about my sleep-study tape, and how my Uncle only hired me because his sister blackmailed him.
But thank you so much, though, for not telling them about my fling with the summer associate last year.
See? You can do it.
No one sues.
Why do you think, then, you're gonna be confirmed as a judge? I don't.
No, I said, if you were listening closely, I said that you were looking at the next Superior Court judge for L.
A.
county, and that would be the honorable Rachel Rose King.
'Cause I'm not getting this job because she screwed me quite literally, on a table exactly like this.
She cracked me open like a king crab, 'cause that's where the sweet meat is.
I'm sorry.
This is your thing, so to you guys.
The summer associates thingamabob.
So, hey, congratulations, and I'm sorry I didn't catch all your names.
They won't forget yours.
Mmm that is so good.
That is just, like, sweet lava.
Is this true, Rachel? I'd prefer to stay, but not unless I call the shots.
I don't see that happening, so I'm keeping my options open.
As for you, Damien, I put you in a position to succeed.
It's not my fault you clubbed a judge to death.
Good bye, everyone.
It's been a tough month.
I thought we had it bad.
Mm.
- Ahh! - Ohh! - No, no, 3-2 my serve.
- Oh, that's right.
Sorry.
You just never beat me on a regulation-size table.
Uh-huh.
That's why I like playing on this one.
Uh-oh.
During the course of my investigation, I spoke to a number of your friends, neighbors, and acquaintances, and I hope to speak to a few more, including one neighbor with excellent bone structure and the complexion of a newborn, whose couch you once stole.
R.
L.
What do you think of that? Search under hashtag "we don't give a rat's ass.
" Yeah on a number of occasions, you were quoted as saying you thought Pindar burned down the house intentionally? - That's bullshit.
- Who said that? Let's see here.
Yeah, okay, here we go.
So, Peter said on July 1st, "we got the insurance money" From Pindy burning down our house.
We use that money to buy Don's house.
June 25th, Jared said, "the last house was" Composite shingles, and you managed to burn that to the ground.
Peter said on July 28th, "and don't play with matches.
" He burned our last house down to the ground.
Charlie.
We were busting Pindy's balls.
Right, you're joking about losing all of your possessions 'cause you know you're gonna get a generous cash settlement? No ever hear of gallows humor, or when something bad happens, you don't know whether you should laugh or cry.
We're not big criers.
No, Pindar knows we were joking.
And we don't believe he burned down our house.
Yeah, this is going from filing a false claim to a possible conspiracy to commit arson.
- What? - What? I'm gonna have you give a recorded statement.
And as this is going to be a home game for us, I suggest you lose the gum, sparky.
We're a great road team.
Can't wait.
Not as much as me.
Hey, did you find anything on J.
D.
yet? Well, Adhira's company offers the highest incentives to their adjusters who make the lowest payment goals.
But, I mean, it's not illegal.
Carmen, why are you whispering? Because Pindar's inside.
I found something else.
When Pindar was 18 and living in India, he was arrested, along with three other kids, for stealing explosives with the intent to detonate.
Why were you looking into Pindar? I was looking for something in his background that would prove didn't do it.
Instead, I found this.
Okay.
So, our friend's been playing with matches for a while.
We stole fireworks and set them off.
Fireworks? Yeah, well, what kid hasn't tied a Queen Amidala doll to a bottle rocket to free her from the blockade surrounding planet Naboo? You guys had sad childhoods.
It's only a matter of time before Adhira finds out about this.
You two are the ones who kept joking that I burned the house down.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
He did it way more than me.
Hang on a sec Dane Cook here was the one who kept doing it in front of people we didn't know, and now they're being questioned.
This adjuster might have enough to take to an arson investigator, who, in turn, will file charges with the D.
A.
And we have to provide a recorded statement.
This is all my fault.
Charlie.
More fireworks.
What's wrong? You talked to the claims adjuster? Yeah.
I told you he called.
He said to cooperate.
And so you just told him that Pindar burned down the house? I told him you were joking.
No, no, no don't you know that they can twist your words around? No, Peter.
Because I don't talk to insurance investigators every day of my life.
Back off.
That was an overreaction.
Little bit.
I'm not liking this whole goodbye thing.
Strange magic When you looked in my eyes The world disappeared like you had me hypnotized What time's your flight leave in the morning? Need a ride? Well, actually, I think I'm good.
Tess and her dad are going to take me.
I guess I should say goodbye tonight.
No.
Because that would mean it's over.
Oh, and I'm just waiting now For you to come and turn me on Hey, where's Charlie? I love when she wears that little shirt.
You know, that's just long enough so that you kind of see I woke up.
She was gone.
Wow.
She didn't say goodbye? Nope.
Isn't that great? It's all good.
Don't worry about it.
By the way, Charlie said that that insurance adjuster has been trying to get a statement out of Rob Lowe.
I really hope stealing his couch doesn't come back to haunt you.
What if Adhira's just a fan boy? - Pindy? - Mm-hmm.
You ever met Rachel King? I have not had the pleasure.
You're about to.
Wait.
What? Get dressed.
Well, well, I finally get to meet the elusive Pindar Singh.
Hello.
I'm so glad to hear you're a germaphobe, because I don't like touching people.
What's up? While C.
I.
B.
is conducting their investigation, you three are suspended without pay, effective immediately.
- You can't do that.
- Yeah, it's not a criminal investigation.
- Yet.
- Some water.
It's boiler-plate I.
D.
K.
policy, so don't go crying to Stanton.
I'm gonna miss that "K" over the door.
I don't have the gig yet, but thank you.
See you, guys.
So, is this goodbye? I hope not.
If there's a God, I'll be the judge sentencing you.
Oh, then there isn't a God.
Celia Moreno got the gig.
- What? - Celia Moreno is now the new county superior.
The butch, one-armed hispanic woman? They just decided to check all the boxes? Really? Want to lose yourself in some misery sex? Get the hell out of my way.
Hey.
I heard you guys got suspended.
Looks like it.
You still having the party, though, right? - Yeah.
- Yeah.
Awesome.
I have an idea.
Me, too.
We tell Colvard Insurance Brokers the truth in a recorded statement.
And what's that? That we started the fire.
We'd like you to retrace your steps the day before the fire took place.
Did a guest smoke a cigarette? Did someone burn a scented candle? No.
It's time Okay, look.
I accidentally threw a bunch of triple-A batteries into the garbage disposal.
And I know they contain sulfuric and nitric acid And because Einstein over here didn't tell me that he put batteries down the drain, I thought it was clogged instead of jammed, so, I took liquid drain cleaner, which also contains - Sulfuric and nitric acid.
- And nitric You do realize that giving a false statement during an insurance investigation can result in jail time? I'm sorry you're saying we're making up the story about the fire? Because times are tough right now.
We're living on the edge.
Is that dialogue from "St.
Elmo's Fire"? - Is is that - Yeah, it is.
Good call! - Man, you must be a fan of the movie.
- Good call! Get up here.
- I'll get it.
- Getting back to your original statement, are you both trying to tell us that you started the fire? If you don't believe us, then take a look at this.
Oh, oh whoa, whoa, whoa.
That's th that's the wrong footage.
Yeah, this is footage that our clone drone shot.
- Is that Rob Lowe? - Yeah, that's Rob Lowe.
- He's coming out of uh, this is embarrassing.
- This is his gym.
You know, that's enough of th we don't need to watch this.
Just, let's that's enough.
Yeah, but wait.
Is that you, J.
D.
? Uh Yeah uh, yeah.
Just doing my job.
Your autograph for my sister, and Wait a minute.
Are you asking him for an autograph? No, no, I was trying to get, uh, a signed statement from Mr.
Lowe.
Oh, so you have the signed statement? Or did you not get that one? J.
D.
? Linda, did you know that if J.
D.
got Rob Lowe's signature, he would have the entire cast of "St.
Elmo's Fire"? You know, he bought Demi's on Craigslist.
And J.
D.
also plays tenor sax, just like Billy Hicks did in the movie.
Billy Hicks played alto sax, so nice try.
It would appear to us that your colleague over here has been exploiting this investigation to gain access to a celebrity.
Thank you for coming.
Oh thank you.
Can you believe these guys? Listen to me Clap-a your hands Stomp-a your feet Three days ago, this party seemed like a good idea.
Yo! Skinny-dipping! Come on! Who's with me?! Don't hesitate! There's nothing to be ashamed of! It's completely natural! Karen! Uh, it's Carmen.
Carmen come with me, man.
I'm gonna pass.
I've seen "Piranha.
" Man, your loss! "Piranha.
" "Piranha.
" Fish, not monster.
Lake, not sea.
Look who showed up.
- Hey! Grab a drink.
- Oh.
Champagne.
That's appropriate.
So, listen C.
I.
B.
suspended Adhira for inappropriate contact with Mr.
Lowe.
So, they dropped the case against you and Pindar.
- All right.
- Yes! Nice.
Apparently, Pindar called C.
I.
B.
And confessed to starting the fire with flash paper.
Now, the confession would have allowed you to keep the $135,000 settlement.
He tried to cut a deal without telling us? He offered to leave the country and go back home to India instead of doing jail time here.
He lied to protect us.
'Cause we tried to protect him.
I don't think he's here.
Was he here when you got home? I didn't see him.
Maybe he's in his room.
You know how he likes to hole up in there.
- Yeah.
Sorry.
Enjoy the party.
- Thank you.
Pindy! - Pindy? - Pindy? He wrote it on flash paper.
I guess the new goodbye is no goodbye.
We got to let him know the investigation was dropped.
Well, he's probably in the air by now.
Dropped? Was anyone ever gonna tell me? What are you doing? Well, I was gonna escape, but then I heard you guys coming down the hall, so I hid in the closet.
Pindy, Stanton just told us.
He just found out.
It's true.
Just now? Just now.
You were gonna throw yourself on the grenade for us? Well, you guys did the same for me.
There's a party upstairs.
You just gonna stand here? Na na, na na na na, oh Na na, na na na na, na na Na na, na na na na, oh Hey, hey Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey Everybody, well, don't you know it's me now? Yeah, who is it, who is it? Willie's back with a brand-new He comes with his own aura.
- How do I look? - How do I look? - Oh, my God.
- Stop it.
Can we help you? Well, well, well if it isn't the couch-boosters.
You look so much different in real life than you do on grainy surveillance video.
I love "The Outsiders.
" Dude.
Dude, end zone.
What do you want? Actually, I was coming to return this.
Thank you, Mr.
Lowe.
Your eyes are as Violet as Liz Taylor's.
Why would you say that? How can anyone tell what color they are when he never looks anyone in the eye? Stanton.
So, you've finally come to apologize for stealing Jacqueline Bisset from me.
I did not steal Jackie Biss-et.
That's how you say her name not "Bissit.
" - No, it's not.
- Yes, it is.
I said "Bisset.
" No, you said "Bissit.
" Yeah, the way Rob says it is perfect.
He he's great.
When we were doing our movie "Class," Jackie came to me, and she said that Stanton never bothered to learn her real name.
And I saw that as an opening.
And pretty much after that, it wasn't a fair fight.
Is that my kayak? Yeah.
I'll bring that back really soon.
Don't worry about it.
It's Kilmer's.
He'll never use it.
Well, you didn't have to punch out my houseguest from Tonga.
And he didn't have to urinate on my surfboard.
Oh.
Well, I actually, I wasn't aware that - Well - Well, then I apologize for dumping all that sand in your bedroom.
Really? I thought that was Est-evez.
"Est-evez"? Estevez Emilio.
Estevez.
Oh, well, then it seems that this 30-year-old war has been nothing but a misunderstanding.
Yeah, maybe you guys should just shake hands and make up right here, huh? Well, uh Hmm.
There you go.
Can I get you anything? Maybe a drink or Oh, no, no, no.
I I I'm sorry.
I've got to get home.
I'm taking down my Christmas decorations.
Apparently, someone started a petition.
Huh.
Yeah, well, it it is August.
Yeah, and you could have at least inflated the snowman if it's gonna sit out there all summer.
All right, Bert and Ernie, it's been good seeing you.
Keep that insurance adjuster out of my life.
- You got it.
Done.
- It's been done, Mr.
Lowe.
And anytime you want to, like, maybe paddle out or something If you just want to, you know, come over, throw some steaks on the grill or tofu, 'cause obviously, you're in great shape.
He just took my ab belt.
Okay he's never gonna call.
Aha! Oh, damn.
We didn't put enough chum in the water.
Come on.
Let's light this fuse.
Ladies and gentlemen, my partner will now perform his greatest trick.
His only trick.
That he hasn't nailed yet.
If you need help, Jared, I Thank you, Pindy, but the object is not burn the house down.
Now, anyone can make the Statue of Liberty disappear.
Or the Eiffel Tower.
But can anyone do this? Do what? Make summer disappear.
Stomp-a your feet Ladies and gentlemen, till we meet again.
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Stomp-a your feet
Jaws? - Yeah.
- No he's not a sea monster.
Jaws was technically a shark.
- Jaws was a killing machine.
- Yeah.
- Swamp thing.
- Swamp thing? It's not a sea.
That's technically the swamp.
Sea monster's got to come out of a large body of water.
All right, the sea monster in "Cloverfield.
" Nope.
Sea monster's name's got to be in the title.
The monster wasn't called "Cloverfield.
" - No, dude, you do this every time.
- What? - You make up the rules as you go along.
- I'm not making up the rules.
- You're just not adhering to the rules.
- You know what? "Anaconda," as in "bite me.
" All right, why are we doing I hate running.
This is stupid.
Pick it up, guys.
That's why we're doing this.
- I'm going home.
- Sure you can make it? - No.
- It's about 50 yards.
Shut up.
Morning.
Good morning.
So, I want to clear the air.
Clear the air? Yeah, that counterstrike that you lobbed over.
- Counterstrike? - Yeah.
You trying to make me jealous by being at Rob Lowe's house.
Oh, that.
Oh, yes, I was trying to make you jealous.
Yeah.
No, I went over to Rob's hoping hoping that you would launch a drone and then fly over his house and spy on me.
I wasn't spying on Pindar was look, no one was spying on anyone, okay? I just I was just curious what you were doing there hanging out with Rob.
I was visiting his wife.
She's one of my good friends.
He's married? Okay.
Who's the porn star you were with? - Nobody.
- Hmm? The problem with Charlie and I is that we had this start to a relationship, but we're already at the end and never got to enjoy a middle.
You never had a montage.
A movie montage? You know, a sunset walk on the beach, riding the same ferris wheel, sharing snow cones.
Sharing the same snow cone, puking off a ferris wheel.
You know, the montage the part of the movie where I go get candy.
What are you talking about? You're the one that camped out to see "Dirty Dancing.
" - I was a kid.
- "Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights.
" "Team America" was sold out.
I wanted to see "Team America.
" Carmen's right.
I need a montage.
Ugh.
Hey.
Hey, Rob Lowe's assistant, Gary.
Why are you knocking? Don't you usually just sneak in? - The name's Greg.
- Oh, okay.
Why were you flying a drone over Rob Lowe's house? I don't know what you're talking about.
I'm talking about the drone you used to spy on Rob.
I don't own a drone.
Then why is there a sticker on it that reads, "if lost or stolen, please return to Pindar Singh, Oh, yeah.
I mean, I did have one, but then I lost it.
It's called a U.
A.
V.
- Uh-huh.
- Unmanned aerial vehicle? Can we help you? Your roommate was spying on Rob, just like all the other paparazzi who swarm the beach.
Rob is suing Mr.
Singh for invasion of privacy.
His lawyers will be in touch.
I was using my U.
A.
V.
to keep an eye Toxic Tsunami debris got it.
But your U.
A.
V.
crash-landed on Rob Lowe's deck.
It was shot down! I was looking for this package that I never received.
- Mega ab belt? - It works, Peter.
Anyway, they said that they delivered it, so I may have done a sweep of Rob Lowe's house while I was looking for it.
You know what? If Rob Lowe wants a fight he's got one.
We got to get facials.
Ooh, what a mixture Such a vivid picture Ooh, what a mixture If I must say so myself Gone In A Flash You're here early.
I like to see who gets in first.
You win.
I didn't sleep last night.
- Why? - Did you check out this morning's Times? Vanessa Jaffey's resigning.
She was secretly videotaping the cases in her courtroom so she could land a job as the next Judge Judy.
There's gonna be a vacancy on the bench? Yeah, and I have an interview on Thursday.
Oh, this is the universe righting itself.
You were meant to become a judge, Damien.
I know.
It feels that way, right? I mean, the only question is, can I survive getting hammered on killing Judge Dinsdale? - Oh.
- They'll go deeper than that.
They'll ask questions like have you ever accepted payment other than lawyer fees? Had any drug or alcohol issues? Or ever engaged in an inappropriate relationship in the workplace? Okay, and the answer to that would be an emphatic no.
You are lying.
- I'm not.
- I can feel you lying.
Okay, is this a test? Because the last time that I tried to kiss you, it didn't go so Mm, mm.
The walls are made of glass.
- I know.
Hot, huh? - Mm.
Say, ooh, la la, la la, la la la Ooh, la la, la la la, la la - Hey.
- Hey.
Wait up.
- What are you guys doing here this early? - We work here.
We wanted to pick your brain.
Remember that privacy case last year with Lindsay? I don't.
I'm sorry.
I have to get back to these What do you mean, "I got to get back to " to what? What's wrong with you? You okay? Yeah, I'm great.
There's nothing wrong with me in any way.
- You smell weird.
- Yeah.
Like couscous.
- It's my Moroccan mint body wash.
- What? You just had sex.
- Rachel.
- Rachel.
You closed that deal.
You closed that deal Please, I did not have sex I I wish.
That would be - He so got laid.
You got laid.
- By whom? - I don't know.
Summer associate? - Well, it is the last week of school.
Maybe one last week, one last fling.
You asked me about Lindsay.
What? - Can't remember.
- I forget.
- Excellent.
Goodbye.
- Zipper's down.
This lawsuit against Pindar it's collateral damage because of my war of Yes, we know all because he stole Jacqueline Bisset from you.
Only a master can trifle with a beast like Rob.
I want to be first chair on this one.
Uh, sir, you know, that might agitate opposing counsel.
Yeah, I suppose you're right.
Well, I just wish we could keep this feud out of the courts.
You know, settle it like men, as the turks do with Kirkpinar.
You know, they're naked except for leather pants, and they pour olive oil all over their bodies and then wrestle in a grassy field until the first man is pinned.
Sir, it's Bisset you're upset about losing, right? What's the plan? Well, it's perfectly legal to fly a domestic drone.
Pindar wasn't recording pictures, let alone intending to sell any, and it was over public airspace when he lost control of it.
So we suspect that Rob Lowe shot the drone down, didn't return Pindar's property, which is a misdemeanor.
Ohh! Going on the offensive.
I like that.
Wonderful.
Good.
You're filing a countersuit.
Yes, Your Honor.
Shocking.
For what, pray tell? "Pray tell"? What is this, the old globe? We're suing for the return of our client's drone.
Pindar Singh was flying his drone under the 400-foot ceiling required in California and was doing a service to his neighbors, scanning the area for toxic Tsunami debris.
The drone wasn't in Mr.
Lowe's airspace, which is designated as the open space above the property lines.
Your Honor, if the drone wasn't over Mr.
Lowe's airspace, how did it end up landing on his deck? So glad you asked.
Your Honor, if we may demonstrate with a clone drone, since the plaintiff refuses to give the original back to our client? Can you operate it safely? Your Honor, I have a PS3 "Ace Combat's" pilot license.
That would be a gaming license you earned online? - That's correct, Your Honor.
- Proceed.
And the circus comes to town.
So, Your Honor, this fan is going to simulate an onshore flow roughly about 7 knots.
Now, Mr.
Singh was piloting this drone remotely from his house, just cruising along the beach, heading north.
- Here it comes.
- Go up a little higher.
I got it.
It's all good.
Now, the drone was in front of Mr.
Lowe's deck.
But then, all of a sudden, it lost power.
Now, our theory is Mr.
Lowe shot it down or disabled it.
Shot it down with what? A surface-to-air missile? Bow and arrow? Do you have witnesses? Would you please stay in your seats during flight? We believe that Mr.
Lowe used an app on his smartphone, the same app that he used to remotely open our garage door - and steal our boogie board.
- Hey! Hi! Your honor, these allegations are not even remotely tethered to fact.
Now, the drone lost power, and the onshore breeze pushed it onto Mr.
Lowe's deck.
- Oh! - All right! Where it crash-landed behind enemy lines.
Your Honor Mr.
Lowe did not shoot down this drone.
Your Honor, Mr.
Singh was not taking pictures of Mr.
Lowe or Mr.
Lowe's family.
Fine.
Mr.
Lowe will happily give back Mr.
Singh's drone if Mr.
Singh will surrender his iPad and computer hard drives so that we may forensically search them for pictures of Mr.
Lowe or his family.
And if not, we'd like to ask the court the right to do so.
- We have no problem - This is unacceptable! Okay.
Uh can we have a minute, Your Honor? What's the problem if you didn't take any incriminating photos? Well, I didn't, but would you want your computer frisked, your entire search history digitally examined? - You delete your history, right? - That's what we do.
Yes, but they can retrieve erased data.
Really? Your Honor, a forensic search of our client's computer violates his fourth amendment rights.
Well, given that Mr.
Singh was flying a drone armed with a camera that landed on Mr.
Lowe's deck, I believe plaintiff's request falls within Mr.
Lowe's expectation of privacy and outside Mr.
Singh's.
- Oh, God.
- Therefore, Mr.
Singh will surrender his computer for a narrowly defined search under the supervision of this court.
Ugh.
Bile What the hell is on that computer? Stop it.
Swallow it.
Thank you for coming here, Mr.
Karp.
Thank you.
It's my pleasure to be here.
You killed the honorable judge Dinsdale, correct? Accidentally, yes.
Judge Dinsdale was a great man.
- This must be hard for you.
- Yes.
It's been a very difficult couple of weeks.
So let's move past this.
Mr.
Karp, how did you come to work at Infeld-Daniels? Well, that's a good question.
I had several offers to join other firms Several? From where? Well, Fugate and Towne, Wilbur, Jenkins and Monroe.
So, a couple? That I can remember, yes.
Go on.
Anyway, I was going to take the Fugate and Towne offer, but then Stanton Infeld came to me with a very generous counter.
Stanton Infeld is your Uncle? Oh, yes he is my Uncle, which is why, initially, I didn't want to go with Infeld-Daniels.
I didn't want anyone to think that nepotism had factored into my hiring at all.
Why was Stanton Infeld's offer so generous, given that your bar score and résumé, although respectable, are hardly spectacular? I think it's probably because he knew me so well.
He saw up close the passion that I had for the law and for an unbiased justice system.
Why was Rachel King brought in over you to manage the firm? Well, there you go that is a perfect example of my Uncle's lack of nepotism.
I've been continually passed over for managing partner.
So, then you think you deserve some favoritism.
No.
Not at all.
What are we to make of your choice at age 9 to dress up for Halloween as a fried corpse, freshly electrocuted in the electric chair? - Mr.
Karp? - I'm sorry.
What was the question again? Cheer up, Pindy.
We found your missing package.
Mega ab belt right behind the planter.
Oh, great my cellmate can lay his head on my rock-hard abs.
There you go.
There's nothing to worry about.
All rise! After reviewing the results of the forensic search of Mr.
Singh's smart tablet and computer, the court has found no evidence that the defendant was photographing or video-recording the plaintiff.
Therefore, Mr.
Lowe's case against Mr.
Singh is dismissed.
Never had any doubt.
Best legal team money can buy.
You guys know you didn't actually do anything, right? - The judge just ruled on his own.
- Shut up.
Hi.
Hello.
So, why won't your client get in the same room with me? Well, theoretically, it's impossible since he has a restraining order on you.
Then I want you to give him a message.
Will you tell him that I am ready to settle this thing once and for all? And we can negotiate the terms for what will be our final confrontation.
I'll let him know.
- Good.
- Yeah.
Have a nice day.
- And you, too.
- Mm.
Prick.
Life takes you by the hand But I still hate to see you going Just friends.
So, I wrote it.
It's "don't go, hate you going.
" Sounds similar to Green Day's "Good Riddance.
" - No, it doesn't.
- Yes, it does.
It doesn't dude, you're totally messing with my montage.
Get out of here.
Are you sure? All right, I'm leaving.
Hey, it's me.
Hi.
Hi.
I was just wondering if you could step on the balcony.
Oh, you're you're coming out of the shower.
Well, that's even better.
Hey! - Hey! - Dude, what? I just saw Charlie's father drive up with Tess.
- They're going in the house.
- Are you serious? Oh, my God uh, help me.
Okay.
Hi.
- Hi! Hey.
- Hi, Charlie.
- Why does Peter hate us? - Uh - What does it say? - "Go, hate you.
" Hey, you stay away from my kid.
You hear me? No.
No, no.
Like, this this isn't me.
- It's a Green Day song.
- Yeah.
Just go back to the Venice boardwalk, you freak.
Hey! Is that where you got that hat? - Huh? - Okay, all right.
Okay, all right.
You mind if I use it as a tip jar? - I'm heading back to Venice.
- No, we don't need anything.
- We're good.
- I'll meet you in the drum circle.
Come on on the upside, "go, I hate you" is a much better song title and less of a rip-off.
No, you know what this is? This is an eye-opener, man.
I I I don't need this.
I don't need the drama of a of a single mom or kid, a crazy ex? Look it's a misunderstanding.
You explain it to her, she's gonna be fine.
Relax.
I got it! Like always.
That was a great song.
- It was a song.
- It was one of my better ones.
It was one of yours.
Ooh.
Hello, size-31 abs.
- Pindar Singh? - Yes.
I'm J.
D.
Adhira with C.
I.
B.
Good God we're both brown, brother.
I expect to be harassed by the FBI, the CIA, the NSA, the TSA, but not one of our own.
Colvard Insurance brokers.
You might have seen our bus.
No, I haven't seen your bus.
Circles around? No? I haven't seen all the buses in L.
A.
, okay? Well, look around.
Open your eyes.
C.
I.
B.
, all right? C.
I.
B.
's also India's Central Intelligence Bureau.
Yeah, that's not me.
Can I give you a piece of advice? Next time, just say "Colvard Insurance Brokers" instead of "C.
I.
B.
" Saves a little bit of time, C.
I.
B.
, so Is this saving time? - Well, you know, in this case, no.
- How can I help you? I'm looking for Jared Franklin and Peter Bash.
Their names are on the insurance policy of the house that burned down in Silver Lake.
- Mm-hmm.
Come in.
- Thanks.
Our insurance case was closed.
It was.
And you each received a $135,000 cash settlement.
But a new piece of evidence has come to light.
May I? This footage was pulled off of Mr.
Singh's computer and red-flagged by the court's forensics analyst in the Rob Lowe case and sent to us.
By the way, does Rob Lowe just live nearby? Is he, like, really close or something? - Can we just get to it? - All right, well, it looks like you guys have a good handle on this.
Nice meeting you.
I'm Why don't you hang out with us for a minute? Why are you filming all this? This is what happens when we leave you alone? How old are you? Why do you keep looking at her like that? Why is this red-flagged? This stuff isn't even in the top 100 of weird things you do.
Just wait.
- What are you doing? Hey.
Whoa! Mr.
Singh performed this trick around the same day your house mysteriously burned down June 19th as evidenced by the termite tent over the window here.
Okay, I can explain - Pindar.
- Save it.
Burn pattern suggested the flash point was in the kitchen area, where this video took place, and there were traces of nitric and sulfuric acid on site, two chemicals found in magician's flash paper.
Okay.
It was spontaneous combustion.
It was the phosphine that interacted - with the nitric and the sulfuric acid - Let me guess here you're gonna reopen the investigation to find out what caused the fire? That is correct.
Hope you haven't spent too much of that settlement money.
Pindy, it's not so much that we're upset you burned the house down and everything we owned.
Including all our clothes.
And all my baby pictures.
You think I wanted to burn down my entire Happy Meal collection? It took me 25 years of my life to get that together.
We're upset because you lied to us about it.
Now it looks like we falsified our insurance claim.
Which means they can come after our settlement money, which we don't have.
That's nothing.
They're looking at me like I'm an arsonist.
You have to believe me, I did not lie.
I had nothing to do with that fire.
- Then explain what we saw.
- Because what it looked like was that you were igniting a fireball inside a giant striped bag filled with flammable chemicals.
That is not spontaneous combustion.
Yes, Jared, I did find your flash paper.
But shouldn't you be held accountable for carelessly leaving flammable, dangerous, combustible materials around where children could find them? But you don't see me blaming you.
Okay, I I can't talk to him.
He's you deal with him.
Why were you recording it? I can explain that.
You guys know Vine, right? - Mm-hmm.
- Okay, so, I set up my cellphone in the kitchen, 'cause the lighting was better.
I got the trick shot, and I was gonna post it.
There was no fire.
There was no explosion.
But once the house burned down, I thought having a clip of me with an incendiary device would be a bad idea.
- Yes.
- Yeah.
You have to believe me, guys me doing the fire trick in the kitchen and the house exploding are completely unrelated.
How should we handle this? For starters, let's find out everything we can on this insurance adjuster.
Tell the truth.
No one's done anything wrong.
What if the truth doesn't get it done? Then we fight fire with fire.
Where did we go wrong? It's the video games he plays.
I don't know.
Greg Baker is here.
Oh, yeah, send him in.
Thanks.
Ah, Greg please, come in.
Come in.
Sit down.
Can I get you something? Tea? No, thanks.
I won't be long.
Rob will talk to you if you give his sword back as a gesture of, you know, good faith.
Uh, what sword? The sword you stole from Rob's study when he hosted the neighborhood-watch meeting.
Oh, no.
There's some mistake.
Th this is an ancient Masamune sword.
This was given to me by one of his 15 disciples.
His name was Tom Cruise.
No.
Uh, I believe it had more of an Asian ring to it.
No, Tom Cruise gave it to him.
That's a prop sword from his movie "The Last Samurai.
" - Really? - Yeah.
Well Well, I wonder where mine went, then.
Perhaps it was confiscated at the airport when I returned from Africa.
Hmm.
Perhaps.
Uh, well, anyway Uh, okay.
Thank you.
We'll we'll be in touch.
Mm.
Fine.
Wow.
Why? Why what? Why did you bone me with the judicial committee? - Damien, what on earth are you talking about? - Oh, come on, Stanton.
For 10 years, you have kept me from rising in this firm, and then when I decide to leave Infeld-Daniels-King to become a judge, you C-block me.
Wait a minute I I had absolutely no idea you were being interviewed by the judicial committee.
The only person who could have known that I trick-or-treated as a fried corpse would be you because I came to your house.
Was that the year I was giving out hamsters? No, but I remember the year, because you didn't answer the door even though you knew it was me.
Ever since your African epiphany, you have been motivated to help everyone in the world except those in your own family.
I'm telling you the truth when I tell you that I didn't tell the judicial committee about your Halloween costume.
Okay.
But a while back I did tell someone else.
What is your definition of customary international law? It doesn't matter what my definition is.
Where there is no treaty, no controlling executive or judicial decision, it's up to the civilized nations.
When do the questions get difficult? You know, we could bring a false claims act suit against our insurance company if this goes to the next level.
You think Pindar's telling the truth? Trying not to think about it, because if I do I don't like what I'm thinking.
Me, too.
Is that our music? It's outside.
And I decided that I should play Throw your arms around my neck Looks like you got your montage back.
I won't be soon to forget Throw your arms around my neck To Carmen, for explaining to me that you didn't hate me.
I won't be soon to forget Excuse me.
No alcoholic beverages allowed at this beach.
Ah, but what if I have a montage permit? Have a nice day.
All right, everyone.
I'd just like to say thank you, in particular to our summer associates.
Thank you, thank you.
And please do us the honor of joining us on a more permanent basis next year.
Thank you.
Now, the boys here, they have a few announcements.
Yeah.
Of course.
You guys are all invited to our barbecue on Thursday at the beach house.
- Yep.
- Ah, I never get tired of saying that.
Never get tired of hearing it.
And I hope we've made as good an impression on you as you've made on us.
And speaking of impressions, we are not the litigious type, so at the beach house, feel free to press up against us.
You're hitting on a pack of starving lawyers with student loans to pay off.
- They're starving.
- Yeah.
- We got food.
- And drinks.
- And beds.
- So So see you at the beach.
Hey, you guys, let me get in on this while everyone is in such a festive mood.
I would like to propose a toast to my mentor Rachel King.
- Come on, everybody.
- Yeah.
To Rachel.
- Huh, Rachel.
- Thank you.
No.
Oh, no.
Thank you.
Because the word is that you may be looking at the newest Los Angeles Superior Court judge.
Whoa.
Wow.
Good one, Karp.
Yeah, yeah.
It's okay.
What a pleasant surprise.
Well, congratulations, Damien.
That's fantastic.
Wonderful news.
Great.
Who'd you kill? I know what you're thinking, Rachel.
You're like, how did I get the appointment after you told the committee members about my sleep-study tape, and how my Uncle only hired me because his sister blackmailed him.
But thank you so much, though, for not telling them about my fling with the summer associate last year.
See? You can do it.
No one sues.
Why do you think, then, you're gonna be confirmed as a judge? I don't.
No, I said, if you were listening closely, I said that you were looking at the next Superior Court judge for L.
A.
county, and that would be the honorable Rachel Rose King.
'Cause I'm not getting this job because she screwed me quite literally, on a table exactly like this.
She cracked me open like a king crab, 'cause that's where the sweet meat is.
I'm sorry.
This is your thing, so to you guys.
The summer associates thingamabob.
So, hey, congratulations, and I'm sorry I didn't catch all your names.
They won't forget yours.
Mmm that is so good.
That is just, like, sweet lava.
Is this true, Rachel? I'd prefer to stay, but not unless I call the shots.
I don't see that happening, so I'm keeping my options open.
As for you, Damien, I put you in a position to succeed.
It's not my fault you clubbed a judge to death.
Good bye, everyone.
It's been a tough month.
I thought we had it bad.
Mm.
- Ahh! - Ohh! - No, no, 3-2 my serve.
- Oh, that's right.
Sorry.
You just never beat me on a regulation-size table.
Uh-huh.
That's why I like playing on this one.
Uh-oh.
During the course of my investigation, I spoke to a number of your friends, neighbors, and acquaintances, and I hope to speak to a few more, including one neighbor with excellent bone structure and the complexion of a newborn, whose couch you once stole.
R.
L.
What do you think of that? Search under hashtag "we don't give a rat's ass.
" Yeah on a number of occasions, you were quoted as saying you thought Pindar burned down the house intentionally? - That's bullshit.
- Who said that? Let's see here.
Yeah, okay, here we go.
So, Peter said on July 1st, "we got the insurance money" From Pindy burning down our house.
We use that money to buy Don's house.
June 25th, Jared said, "the last house was" Composite shingles, and you managed to burn that to the ground.
Peter said on July 28th, "and don't play with matches.
" He burned our last house down to the ground.
Charlie.
We were busting Pindy's balls.
Right, you're joking about losing all of your possessions 'cause you know you're gonna get a generous cash settlement? No ever hear of gallows humor, or when something bad happens, you don't know whether you should laugh or cry.
We're not big criers.
No, Pindar knows we were joking.
And we don't believe he burned down our house.
Yeah, this is going from filing a false claim to a possible conspiracy to commit arson.
- What? - What? I'm gonna have you give a recorded statement.
And as this is going to be a home game for us, I suggest you lose the gum, sparky.
We're a great road team.
Can't wait.
Not as much as me.
Hey, did you find anything on J.
D.
yet? Well, Adhira's company offers the highest incentives to their adjusters who make the lowest payment goals.
But, I mean, it's not illegal.
Carmen, why are you whispering? Because Pindar's inside.
I found something else.
When Pindar was 18 and living in India, he was arrested, along with three other kids, for stealing explosives with the intent to detonate.
Why were you looking into Pindar? I was looking for something in his background that would prove didn't do it.
Instead, I found this.
Okay.
So, our friend's been playing with matches for a while.
We stole fireworks and set them off.
Fireworks? Yeah, well, what kid hasn't tied a Queen Amidala doll to a bottle rocket to free her from the blockade surrounding planet Naboo? You guys had sad childhoods.
It's only a matter of time before Adhira finds out about this.
You two are the ones who kept joking that I burned the house down.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
He did it way more than me.
Hang on a sec Dane Cook here was the one who kept doing it in front of people we didn't know, and now they're being questioned.
This adjuster might have enough to take to an arson investigator, who, in turn, will file charges with the D.
A.
And we have to provide a recorded statement.
This is all my fault.
Charlie.
More fireworks.
What's wrong? You talked to the claims adjuster? Yeah.
I told you he called.
He said to cooperate.
And so you just told him that Pindar burned down the house? I told him you were joking.
No, no, no don't you know that they can twist your words around? No, Peter.
Because I don't talk to insurance investigators every day of my life.
Back off.
That was an overreaction.
Little bit.
I'm not liking this whole goodbye thing.
Strange magic When you looked in my eyes The world disappeared like you had me hypnotized What time's your flight leave in the morning? Need a ride? Well, actually, I think I'm good.
Tess and her dad are going to take me.
I guess I should say goodbye tonight.
No.
Because that would mean it's over.
Oh, and I'm just waiting now For you to come and turn me on Hey, where's Charlie? I love when she wears that little shirt.
You know, that's just long enough so that you kind of see I woke up.
She was gone.
Wow.
She didn't say goodbye? Nope.
Isn't that great? It's all good.
Don't worry about it.
By the way, Charlie said that that insurance adjuster has been trying to get a statement out of Rob Lowe.
I really hope stealing his couch doesn't come back to haunt you.
What if Adhira's just a fan boy? - Pindy? - Mm-hmm.
You ever met Rachel King? I have not had the pleasure.
You're about to.
Wait.
What? Get dressed.
Well, well, I finally get to meet the elusive Pindar Singh.
Hello.
I'm so glad to hear you're a germaphobe, because I don't like touching people.
What's up? While C.
I.
B.
is conducting their investigation, you three are suspended without pay, effective immediately.
- You can't do that.
- Yeah, it's not a criminal investigation.
- Yet.
- Some water.
It's boiler-plate I.
D.
K.
policy, so don't go crying to Stanton.
I'm gonna miss that "K" over the door.
I don't have the gig yet, but thank you.
See you, guys.
So, is this goodbye? I hope not.
If there's a God, I'll be the judge sentencing you.
Oh, then there isn't a God.
Celia Moreno got the gig.
- What? - Celia Moreno is now the new county superior.
The butch, one-armed hispanic woman? They just decided to check all the boxes? Really? Want to lose yourself in some misery sex? Get the hell out of my way.
Hey.
I heard you guys got suspended.
Looks like it.
You still having the party, though, right? - Yeah.
- Yeah.
Awesome.
I have an idea.
Me, too.
We tell Colvard Insurance Brokers the truth in a recorded statement.
And what's that? That we started the fire.
We'd like you to retrace your steps the day before the fire took place.
Did a guest smoke a cigarette? Did someone burn a scented candle? No.
It's time Okay, look.
I accidentally threw a bunch of triple-A batteries into the garbage disposal.
And I know they contain sulfuric and nitric acid And because Einstein over here didn't tell me that he put batteries down the drain, I thought it was clogged instead of jammed, so, I took liquid drain cleaner, which also contains - Sulfuric and nitric acid.
- And nitric You do realize that giving a false statement during an insurance investigation can result in jail time? I'm sorry you're saying we're making up the story about the fire? Because times are tough right now.
We're living on the edge.
Is that dialogue from "St.
Elmo's Fire"? - Is is that - Yeah, it is.
Good call! - Man, you must be a fan of the movie.
- Good call! Get up here.
- I'll get it.
- Getting back to your original statement, are you both trying to tell us that you started the fire? If you don't believe us, then take a look at this.
Oh, oh whoa, whoa, whoa.
That's th that's the wrong footage.
Yeah, this is footage that our clone drone shot.
- Is that Rob Lowe? - Yeah, that's Rob Lowe.
- He's coming out of uh, this is embarrassing.
- This is his gym.
You know, that's enough of th we don't need to watch this.
Just, let's that's enough.
Yeah, but wait.
Is that you, J.
D.
? Uh Yeah uh, yeah.
Just doing my job.
Your autograph for my sister, and Wait a minute.
Are you asking him for an autograph? No, no, I was trying to get, uh, a signed statement from Mr.
Lowe.
Oh, so you have the signed statement? Or did you not get that one? J.
D.
? Linda, did you know that if J.
D.
got Rob Lowe's signature, he would have the entire cast of "St.
Elmo's Fire"? You know, he bought Demi's on Craigslist.
And J.
D.
also plays tenor sax, just like Billy Hicks did in the movie.
Billy Hicks played alto sax, so nice try.
It would appear to us that your colleague over here has been exploiting this investigation to gain access to a celebrity.
Thank you for coming.
Oh thank you.
Can you believe these guys? Listen to me Clap-a your hands Stomp-a your feet Three days ago, this party seemed like a good idea.
Yo! Skinny-dipping! Come on! Who's with me?! Don't hesitate! There's nothing to be ashamed of! It's completely natural! Karen! Uh, it's Carmen.
Carmen come with me, man.
I'm gonna pass.
I've seen "Piranha.
" Man, your loss! "Piranha.
" "Piranha.
" Fish, not monster.
Lake, not sea.
Look who showed up.
- Hey! Grab a drink.
- Oh.
Champagne.
That's appropriate.
So, listen C.
I.
B.
suspended Adhira for inappropriate contact with Mr.
Lowe.
So, they dropped the case against you and Pindar.
- All right.
- Yes! Nice.
Apparently, Pindar called C.
I.
B.
And confessed to starting the fire with flash paper.
Now, the confession would have allowed you to keep the $135,000 settlement.
He tried to cut a deal without telling us? He offered to leave the country and go back home to India instead of doing jail time here.
He lied to protect us.
'Cause we tried to protect him.
I don't think he's here.
Was he here when you got home? I didn't see him.
Maybe he's in his room.
You know how he likes to hole up in there.
- Yeah.
Sorry.
Enjoy the party.
- Thank you.
Pindy! - Pindy? - Pindy? He wrote it on flash paper.
I guess the new goodbye is no goodbye.
We got to let him know the investigation was dropped.
Well, he's probably in the air by now.
Dropped? Was anyone ever gonna tell me? What are you doing? Well, I was gonna escape, but then I heard you guys coming down the hall, so I hid in the closet.
Pindy, Stanton just told us.
He just found out.
It's true.
Just now? Just now.
You were gonna throw yourself on the grenade for us? Well, you guys did the same for me.
There's a party upstairs.
You just gonna stand here? Na na, na na na na, oh Na na, na na na na, na na Na na, na na na na, oh Hey, hey Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey Everybody, well, don't you know it's me now? Yeah, who is it, who is it? Willie's back with a brand-new He comes with his own aura.
- How do I look? - How do I look? - Oh, my God.
- Stop it.
Can we help you? Well, well, well if it isn't the couch-boosters.
You look so much different in real life than you do on grainy surveillance video.
I love "The Outsiders.
" Dude.
Dude, end zone.
What do you want? Actually, I was coming to return this.
Thank you, Mr.
Lowe.
Your eyes are as Violet as Liz Taylor's.
Why would you say that? How can anyone tell what color they are when he never looks anyone in the eye? Stanton.
So, you've finally come to apologize for stealing Jacqueline Bisset from me.
I did not steal Jackie Biss-et.
That's how you say her name not "Bissit.
" - No, it's not.
- Yes, it is.
I said "Bisset.
" No, you said "Bissit.
" Yeah, the way Rob says it is perfect.
He he's great.
When we were doing our movie "Class," Jackie came to me, and she said that Stanton never bothered to learn her real name.
And I saw that as an opening.
And pretty much after that, it wasn't a fair fight.
Is that my kayak? Yeah.
I'll bring that back really soon.
Don't worry about it.
It's Kilmer's.
He'll never use it.
Well, you didn't have to punch out my houseguest from Tonga.
And he didn't have to urinate on my surfboard.
Oh.
Well, I actually, I wasn't aware that - Well - Well, then I apologize for dumping all that sand in your bedroom.
Really? I thought that was Est-evez.
"Est-evez"? Estevez Emilio.
Estevez.
Oh, well, then it seems that this 30-year-old war has been nothing but a misunderstanding.
Yeah, maybe you guys should just shake hands and make up right here, huh? Well, uh Hmm.
There you go.
Can I get you anything? Maybe a drink or Oh, no, no, no.
I I I'm sorry.
I've got to get home.
I'm taking down my Christmas decorations.
Apparently, someone started a petition.
Huh.
Yeah, well, it it is August.
Yeah, and you could have at least inflated the snowman if it's gonna sit out there all summer.
All right, Bert and Ernie, it's been good seeing you.
Keep that insurance adjuster out of my life.
- You got it.
Done.
- It's been done, Mr.
Lowe.
And anytime you want to, like, maybe paddle out or something If you just want to, you know, come over, throw some steaks on the grill or tofu, 'cause obviously, you're in great shape.
He just took my ab belt.
Okay he's never gonna call.
Aha! Oh, damn.
We didn't put enough chum in the water.
Come on.
Let's light this fuse.
Ladies and gentlemen, my partner will now perform his greatest trick.
His only trick.
That he hasn't nailed yet.
If you need help, Jared, I Thank you, Pindy, but the object is not burn the house down.
Now, anyone can make the Statue of Liberty disappear.
Or the Eiffel Tower.
But can anyone do this? Do what? Make summer disappear.
Stomp-a your feet Ladies and gentlemen, till we meet again.
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Stomp-a your feet