Gintama (2005) s03e10 Episode Script
Life is a Test
[Sagaru Yamazaki.]
[Note: Parody of Prince of Tennis.
.]
GinTama [Right after these messages!.]
Right after these messages! You're not there yet.
[Note: Ryoma's favorite phrase from Prince of Tennis.]
[Amazingly, June 26th is Katsura's birthday.
So this month is Katsura Enrichment Month.
.]
[Kotaro Katsura, 2X years old.
Why not have adults like this?.]
Hey, did you hear? Takasugi fought with the Shinsengumi.
He apparently sent a spy into the Shinsengumi and tried to kill Chief Kondo.
Well, he ended up failing, though.
A spy, huh? We should be careful.
There may be a spy lurking about.
Umm, excuse me.
Wh-Who are you?! H-Hold on a second.
I'm not suspicious.
Who are you?! Give us your name!! Umm I see that you have a sword at your side when there's a ban on swords I assume that you are Anti-Foreigner Faction members.
What do you want?! Please Would you Would you let me join the ranks of the Anti-Foreigner Faction? ["Life is a Test".]
This is the most dangerous part of my job as a spy.
It's called undercover investigations.
I sneak into the ranks of the enemy and leak secret information to my allies.
The rewards are huge, but so is the risk.
Therefore, only the most skilled spies take on these missions.
You must be skilled enough to mask your true feelings while risking your life when faced with the danger of being discovered by the enemy.
And you can't make a single mistake when in enemy territory.
You need finesse to perform your job with precision in extreme situations.
And You need to be extremely bland in order to blend in with everything.
The person in the Shinsengumi who has all of these traits is none other than I, Sagaru Yamazaki.
I never expected Anti-Foreigner Faction members to be hiding in a town like this.
Akiba Neo, the underground city.
[Note: Parody of Akihabara.
.]
Called a holy land by otaku, it's Edo's most famous mechanical district.
The town is like a maze.
It's indeed a perfect place for hiding out.
The Unstoppable Kotaro Katsura.
I have to get close to him.
Find out where his officials are And round up all of the Anti-Foreigner Faction members.
I see.
I understand.
All right.
Let's begin the interview.
Huh? Give me your resume.
Huh? Umm I can't join the Anti-Foreigner Faction without passing an interview? It's a precaution against spies.
I can't fight and leave my back open to someone with a suspicious background.
What is this? Why do I need to take an interview to partake in Anti-Foreigner Faction activities? S-Sorry I forgot my resume.
But I am more concerned about my country than anyone else.
I don't care about that.
Just give me your resume.
Let me give this to you straight.
Don't you have any common sense? When you go job hunting, you usually bring a resume with you.
Job hunting? I'm job hunting?! You're supposed to come in a suit.
What did you come here for? I'm not the only one who will tell you this.
Just to let you know, any company will say the same thing.
You're not a company! Also, you sat down before I told you to.
Usually, you sit after your interviewer tells you to sit.
S-Sorry All businesses want people who have common sense.
We say that a person's education decides his worth But anyone can learn their job while they're doing it.
Master, welcome back.
I'm not "master.
" I'm Katsura.
If you pay a special fee, you can have fun with the maids.
I don't need you of all people to tell me that!! Why do I have to be lectured by someone who holds an interview in a maid cafe?! Jankenpon.
[NOTE: Jankenpon is the Japanese name for Rock-Paper-Scissors.
"Aikodesho" is said after tied rounds.
In one game variation, the winner of a round points in a direction and the loser has to look in a different direction, or else he loses the game.
.]
Well, anyway, even though we're Anti-Foreigner Faction members, we need common sense.
Aikodesho, sho, sho, sho.
Revolutionaries destroy the existing norms.
And because of that, revolutionaries need to understand what's common and normal.
I win!! Turn that way! Keep that in mind if you want to become an Anti-Foreigner Faction member.
Huh? I thought I was going to fail, but this looks kind of good, doesn't it? Well, the interview is over.
Hey, take him.
Jankenpon.
Aikodesho.
Aikodesho, sho, sho, sho.
He said it was an interview, but did he really just want to meet me? Let's go.
Oh, yes.
That's right.
Turn that way! There's no way the Anti-Foreigner Faction would ever do anything weird like have interviews.
I'm glad I managed to infiltrate them.
[Anti-Foreigner Faction Employment Exam.]
Why does the Anti-Foreigner Faction have an entrance test?! First an interview, and now a test?! This is no different from a regular business! This is weird! This is definitely weird!! This is bad.
I never expected it to be so difficult to become an Anti-Foreigner Faction member.
What kind of questions do they have on their test?! I never studied for it! What is everyone studying?! Hey, did you prepare? I'm in trouble.
I didn't study at all.
I'm going to fail.
This is bad.
This guy's bloodshot eyes say otherwise.
There's always one faker in the class.
Oh All right, quiet down.
We're going to start the Anti-Foreigner Faction employment exam.
Put away your textbooks! What textbooks?! It's too late to stuff anything else into your head now! You're no match for those who have always been doing the review exercises! Review exercises? What review exercises?! All right, take a look at this.
I'm going to put the questions up on the screen one by one.
Everyone, use the panel in front of you to answer each question.
Afterwards, I will announce the answer.
We have a proctor keeping watch in the back, so try not to cheat.
Everyone, please try your best.
Let the test begin! [Question 1 - Write down the correct reading of the following word: Shinsengumi.]
Question one.
Write down the correct reading of the following word.
What is this?! It's incredibly easy!! I see! Even though we're Anti-Foreigner Faction members, we need common sense.
Even if it's a test, it's a question to see how much common sense one has! I haven't studied for this test, but it looks like I can pass this.
[Shinsengumi.]
The answer is "Shinsengumi"! All right, time's up.
This is the answer.
[Scum.]
The answer is "scum.
" On what planet is that common sense?! Well, this is common sense amongst Anti-Foreigner Faction members.
Other answers like "idiots," "trash," and "lately intrusive" are also correct.
All right! I got it correct! Is that what these guys usually call us?! Tsk! A trick question.
[Shin (crossed out).]
Maeragumi.]
You got the question wrong, too! What did you study all night?! This is bad.
I can't even get the correct answer using common sense.
I need to answer the questions with the mindset of an Anti-Foreigner Faction member.
[Question 2 - Write down the correct reading for the following word: Shogun.]
The second question.
Write down the correct reading for the following word.
[Shogun Shogun Shogun Shogun Shogun Shogun.]
The normal answer would be "shogun.
" But to the Anti-Foreigner Faction, he is the boss of the enemy.
Which means [Smegma.]
I'll get it right if I insult him.
[Correct Answer: Ken Matsudaira.]
The correct answer is Ken Matsudaira.
Why is there a kanji reading for a kanji word?! Well, this is common sense amongst faction members.
"Roughneck," and "cooking lover" are also correct.
[Note: "Roughneck" is "Abarenbo" in Japanese.
Ken Matsudaira is the star of the TV show Abarenbo Shogun.
.]
All right! I did it!! Why are there people who got it correct?! What kind of brains do they have?! [Question 3 - Write down the following word in kanji: Jackie Chan.]
The third question.
Write down the following word in kanji.
This doesn't have anything to do with the Anti-Foreigner Faction anymore! Jackie?! I don't know! This is just plain unreasonable! The answer is "nose.
" [Nose.]
You just hate Jackie's nose!! Well, this is common sense amongst faction members.
"Chair" and "Ryo Saeba was pretty painful" are also correct.
[Note: Jackie Chan played Ryo Saeba in the Hong Kong version of City Hunter.
.]
That last one was just your opinion! Don't mention City Hunter! We've been doing Japanese until now.
Starting with the next question, we'll be doing math.
This is bad I still haven't got a single question right.
Question number four.
There are ten Shinsengumi members.
Six Anti-Foreigner Faction members run into them on the side of the road.
The Shinsengumi attack, and three of the Anti-Foreigner Faction members are killed.
Unyielding, the Anti-Foreigner Faction members kill two Shinsengumi members.
Amidst the confusion of the battle, two more Shinsengumi members are injured, but six more join them and two Anti-Foreigner Faction members are killed.
How many noses does Jackie have? One, of course!! How long are you going to keep talking about Jackie?! This has absolutely nothing to do with the battle!! Umm This question is incredibly difficult, so I'll give you extra time.
Think about it for an hour.
I don't need an hour! Nowait! He's been giving us deceptive answers until now.
What if Jackie was in this battle?! What if Jackie's nose Was cut off in the battle?! The correct answer is "one.
" You there, be quiet.
Oh, sorry I was completely tricked! I read into it too much and let a question I could answer slip by! Tsk! A trick question, huh? That was close.
What exactly were you tricked by?! Umm That's it for math.
This isn't math! [Question 5 - Translate the following passage.
.]
The next section is foreign language.
Question five.
Translate the following passage.
What language is this?! I can't read it at all!! Is this an alien language from another planet?! An illustration?! That's it! That illustration! That picture has got to represent the contents of the passage! I've got to rely on intuition and this picture to translate it! No matter how I look at this, it's a picture of a battlefield.
One guy is about to die and the other is listening to his last words.
There's no mistake He has something in his hand! A letter? No, a photograph! Never mind me Hurry up and run away, you maggot! The Sergeant quickly grew cold in my arms He was a drill sergeant who was so terrifying and hateful.
But right now his face looked so kind.
Can't you follow your superior's orders, you maggot?! Maggot! Tell me you're a maggot, you maggot! Sergeant! I am a maggot! I was abandoned by my parents like a maggot! No one will be sad if a maggot like me dies! Please let me do whatever I want! What a coincidence, maggot! When I took up arms, I also discarded my family.
No one will grieve for me anymore.
But you're different After the Sergeant said this he slowly took a blood-splattered photograph out of his inner breast pocket.
You have someone who will grieve for you.
It was a picture of when my mother was still young and healthy.
By her side was the Sergeant.
He was holding a baby.
Tell me I'm a maggotmy son.
Instructor You're a maggot.
You're a maggot's preciousgood-for-nothing father! The instructor smiled and ceased moving.
All right.
This should be good! Now, the correct answer Jackie's nose is big, isn't it? That's it.
It was a picture of Jackie?! How long a passage do you need to express how big Jackie's nose is?! It was wrong but I was touched.
Don't look at my answer! It's too embarrassing! The next question is the final question in the written exam.
The last one already?! Most of the questions were only about Jackie! [Question 6 - Write down the reason why you want to join the Anti-Foreigner faction in Kamchatkan.
.]
[Note: Kamchatkan is a language spoken in northeast Russia.
.]
Write down the reason why you want to join the Anti-Foreigner faction in Kamchatkan.
What?! Kamchatkan?! This is impossible!! I can't write in such a difficult language! This is a difficult question so if you get this right, you pass.
It's over.
I failed my mission.
The Vice-Chief is going to be angry with me.
I'll just write anything Umm One person got it correct.
Examinee number 11! Huh? Wow! I just wrote anything.
Is this for real?! Whatever the case, I can carry out my mission! All right! I did it! Umm Since he got it correct, let's take a look at his answer.
When translated, it says, "I came here to carry out an undercover investigation.
I will send all you Anti-Foreigner Faction members to hell.
" Huh? What?! Th-This is bad They discovered that I've come to do an undercover investigation! What's the meaning of this?! Did they know who I was from the beginning?! U-Umm Hmm You wish to become a part of our undercover investigation squad.
Good job.
Everyone, give him a round of applause.
Huh? They didn't find out who I was Thank goodness Now I can Those who have passed the written exam will now take the final test.
We will have a skills test.
Huh? Huh? You will take a skills test for undercover investigation.
Undercover investigation is one of the most difficult of Anti-Foreigner Faction activities.
The enemy isn't stupid enough to overlook spies.
There is an idiot right in front of me!! Even though it's a test, you don't know what'll happen.
So you will take the test under supervison.
Captain Dragon! CaptainDragon? U-Umm Hello, I'm Captain Dragon.
Huh? You're going to be sneaking into the headquarters of a certain organization with me.
You'll pass if you can steal a secret document.
Then you'll be a formal Anti-Foreigner Faction member.
Got that? Well, anyway You're one of those, aren't you? You're supposed to be him, aren't you? You're a Jackie look-alike I'm not Jackie.
I'm Captain Dragon! Your face is really close to mine.
Let me ask you one thing.
What is the one thing you must protect more than anything during an undercover investigation? Huh? Is this a test question? The answer is "your nose.
" Your nose? That's right.
Your nose! There are many vital spots on the human body.
Amateurs often guess that the testicles are the most vulnerable spot, but this is wrong! The most vulnerable spot is the nose!! Got that?! The final test Project Z will now begin!! There it is.
This was unexpectedly easy.
I did it! I've passed the skills test! What wonderful skills! You've passed so far! But you're being tested until you get that secret document safely to our headquarters! Your excursion continues until you greet the people back home! Shh Katsura-san, the enemy's going to find us! Hey, who was talking just now?! We've got intruders! They're in the secret documents room! They discovered us! The enemy found you during a crucial time.
You're still too naïve.
They discovered us because of you! Let's run away! Follow me, exam student! Wait! They're over there! Th-They followed us! [Question: Choose the correct action to take in this situation.
.]
Here's a question.
Choose the correct action to take in this situation.
Huh?! This is part of the test?! The correct action? Our only choice is to run away [Clock Tower.]
A bicycle? Nunchucks? A hanger? A dirty soccer ball? A clock tower? I see! I have to use one of these objects! More than anything, I should choose to escape.
In that case This is it!! This is the correct answer!! Oh no! So that was the correct answer! You fell?! The answer is, "We'll use that cut for the outtakes during the ending credits.
" [Note: Parody of a Hong Kong Kung-fu action movie.
.]
I can't use that! Let's go! We're going to shake them off with a car chase.
I'm good at that.
There they are.
Stop! This is bad.
Why your nose?! If you can protect your nose, you should've protect your butt! Don't worry about us! We've overcome danger like this many times.
You're just fools! It's a dead end.
Crap! There they are! They're over there! Oh no! They're after us! [Question: Choose the correct action to take in this situation.
.]
Here's a question.
Choose the correct action to take in this situation.
You should take the correct course of action! Honestly We've got to fight! Wrong.
The correct answer is to call Fatgon.
[Note: Parody of "Enter The Fat Dragon" by Sammo Hung.]
Fatgon! What is it, Dragon? Why Fatgon?! Why is he here?! If you called Un Pyao, you would have gotten half a point.
[Note: Parody of Yuan Biao.
Also a Hong Kong action star.
.]
Why would I do that?! Anyway, we've got to get away from here! I see! But I won't give you a point for that! I don't need any! Again?! Why is Edo filled with dead ends? What is the Shogunate doing?! That's a poignant Anti-Foreigner Faction-like comment.
I'll give you three points.
You're annoying! This is the end of the line Here's a question.
What do you think Fatgon should do in this situation? [Question: What should Fatgon do in this situation?.]
That has nothing to do with Jackie anymore! He's Fatgon! Sorry, Dragon, I don't want to die.
I'm disappointed in you! You're no different from when you were a thief! I'm disappointed in you for trying to get help from a thief! We'll talk afterwards.
Get them! Exam student, use your body to protect the secret document! You should protect more than just your nose! All right, now! Here's a question! Your comrade is being attacked! What should you do?! Why don't you just ask me for help?! Katsura is my enemy.
Captain Dragon is allied with the Anti-Foreigner Faction.
In that case, there should be no problem if I abandon them.
But this is an undercover mission.
A spy must become an Anti-Foreigner Faction member in mind and body.
In that case Let's run away, Katsura-san, Captain Dragon! An Anti-Foreigner Faction member must sometimes be cold-hearted in order to accomplish his goals.
You should have run away.
I can't give you any points for the test.
But you pass as a human being.
Crap We were almost there.
It's still not over, yet.
We've still got more tricks! That's a really cool thing to say, but this is all to much Here's a question.
Your comrades can't help you and you're surrounded by bad guys.
Choose the correct course of action in this hopeless situation.
I don't know What should I do in this situation? The correct answer is To not give up! But Take the secret document and run away.
Huh? But what about you two? We'll Protect Our new comrade!! Katsura-san! Captain Dragon! Go! Get outta here!! Don't let our efforts go to waste! Go! I won't let you! Katsura-san, Captain Dragon, I'll come back with reinforcements! Don't let him get away! I won't let you! I need to get help! I need to find help right away! Katsura-san and Captain Dragon are Huh? Huh? You did well.
You passed magnificently.
From today on, you're an Anti-Foreigner Faction member! Katsura-san, Captain Dragon You dropped something [Shogunate Special Armed Police Shinsengumi Investigator Sagaru Yamazaki.]
Huh? What?! [Preview.]
The next episode "People Are All Escapees of Their Own Inner Prisons.
" [Were Yamazaki's actions worthwhile? Katsura is thrown in jail.
.]
[The steel fortress, Prison Island.
Can Katsura safely escape?!.]
[Note: Parody of Prince of Tennis.
.]
GinTama [Right after these messages!.]
Right after these messages! You're not there yet.
[Note: Ryoma's favorite phrase from Prince of Tennis.]
[Amazingly, June 26th is Katsura's birthday.
So this month is Katsura Enrichment Month.
.]
[Kotaro Katsura, 2X years old.
Why not have adults like this?.]
Hey, did you hear? Takasugi fought with the Shinsengumi.
He apparently sent a spy into the Shinsengumi and tried to kill Chief Kondo.
Well, he ended up failing, though.
A spy, huh? We should be careful.
There may be a spy lurking about.
Umm, excuse me.
Wh-Who are you?! H-Hold on a second.
I'm not suspicious.
Who are you?! Give us your name!! Umm I see that you have a sword at your side when there's a ban on swords I assume that you are Anti-Foreigner Faction members.
What do you want?! Please Would you Would you let me join the ranks of the Anti-Foreigner Faction? ["Life is a Test".]
This is the most dangerous part of my job as a spy.
It's called undercover investigations.
I sneak into the ranks of the enemy and leak secret information to my allies.
The rewards are huge, but so is the risk.
Therefore, only the most skilled spies take on these missions.
You must be skilled enough to mask your true feelings while risking your life when faced with the danger of being discovered by the enemy.
And you can't make a single mistake when in enemy territory.
You need finesse to perform your job with precision in extreme situations.
And You need to be extremely bland in order to blend in with everything.
The person in the Shinsengumi who has all of these traits is none other than I, Sagaru Yamazaki.
I never expected Anti-Foreigner Faction members to be hiding in a town like this.
Akiba Neo, the underground city.
[Note: Parody of Akihabara.
.]
Called a holy land by otaku, it's Edo's most famous mechanical district.
The town is like a maze.
It's indeed a perfect place for hiding out.
The Unstoppable Kotaro Katsura.
I have to get close to him.
Find out where his officials are And round up all of the Anti-Foreigner Faction members.
I see.
I understand.
All right.
Let's begin the interview.
Huh? Give me your resume.
Huh? Umm I can't join the Anti-Foreigner Faction without passing an interview? It's a precaution against spies.
I can't fight and leave my back open to someone with a suspicious background.
What is this? Why do I need to take an interview to partake in Anti-Foreigner Faction activities? S-Sorry I forgot my resume.
But I am more concerned about my country than anyone else.
I don't care about that.
Just give me your resume.
Let me give this to you straight.
Don't you have any common sense? When you go job hunting, you usually bring a resume with you.
Job hunting? I'm job hunting?! You're supposed to come in a suit.
What did you come here for? I'm not the only one who will tell you this.
Just to let you know, any company will say the same thing.
You're not a company! Also, you sat down before I told you to.
Usually, you sit after your interviewer tells you to sit.
S-Sorry All businesses want people who have common sense.
We say that a person's education decides his worth But anyone can learn their job while they're doing it.
Master, welcome back.
I'm not "master.
" I'm Katsura.
If you pay a special fee, you can have fun with the maids.
I don't need you of all people to tell me that!! Why do I have to be lectured by someone who holds an interview in a maid cafe?! Jankenpon.
[NOTE: Jankenpon is the Japanese name for Rock-Paper-Scissors.
"Aikodesho" is said after tied rounds.
In one game variation, the winner of a round points in a direction and the loser has to look in a different direction, or else he loses the game.
.]
Well, anyway, even though we're Anti-Foreigner Faction members, we need common sense.
Aikodesho, sho, sho, sho.
Revolutionaries destroy the existing norms.
And because of that, revolutionaries need to understand what's common and normal.
I win!! Turn that way! Keep that in mind if you want to become an Anti-Foreigner Faction member.
Huh? I thought I was going to fail, but this looks kind of good, doesn't it? Well, the interview is over.
Hey, take him.
Jankenpon.
Aikodesho.
Aikodesho, sho, sho, sho.
He said it was an interview, but did he really just want to meet me? Let's go.
Oh, yes.
That's right.
Turn that way! There's no way the Anti-Foreigner Faction would ever do anything weird like have interviews.
I'm glad I managed to infiltrate them.
[Anti-Foreigner Faction Employment Exam.]
Why does the Anti-Foreigner Faction have an entrance test?! First an interview, and now a test?! This is no different from a regular business! This is weird! This is definitely weird!! This is bad.
I never expected it to be so difficult to become an Anti-Foreigner Faction member.
What kind of questions do they have on their test?! I never studied for it! What is everyone studying?! Hey, did you prepare? I'm in trouble.
I didn't study at all.
I'm going to fail.
This is bad.
This guy's bloodshot eyes say otherwise.
There's always one faker in the class.
Oh All right, quiet down.
We're going to start the Anti-Foreigner Faction employment exam.
Put away your textbooks! What textbooks?! It's too late to stuff anything else into your head now! You're no match for those who have always been doing the review exercises! Review exercises? What review exercises?! All right, take a look at this.
I'm going to put the questions up on the screen one by one.
Everyone, use the panel in front of you to answer each question.
Afterwards, I will announce the answer.
We have a proctor keeping watch in the back, so try not to cheat.
Everyone, please try your best.
Let the test begin! [Question 1 - Write down the correct reading of the following word: Shinsengumi.]
Question one.
Write down the correct reading of the following word.
What is this?! It's incredibly easy!! I see! Even though we're Anti-Foreigner Faction members, we need common sense.
Even if it's a test, it's a question to see how much common sense one has! I haven't studied for this test, but it looks like I can pass this.
[Shinsengumi.]
The answer is "Shinsengumi"! All right, time's up.
This is the answer.
[Scum.]
The answer is "scum.
" On what planet is that common sense?! Well, this is common sense amongst Anti-Foreigner Faction members.
Other answers like "idiots," "trash," and "lately intrusive" are also correct.
All right! I got it correct! Is that what these guys usually call us?! Tsk! A trick question.
[Shin (crossed out).]
Maeragumi.]
You got the question wrong, too! What did you study all night?! This is bad.
I can't even get the correct answer using common sense.
I need to answer the questions with the mindset of an Anti-Foreigner Faction member.
[Question 2 - Write down the correct reading for the following word: Shogun.]
The second question.
Write down the correct reading for the following word.
[Shogun Shogun Shogun Shogun Shogun Shogun.]
The normal answer would be "shogun.
" But to the Anti-Foreigner Faction, he is the boss of the enemy.
Which means [Smegma.]
I'll get it right if I insult him.
[Correct Answer: Ken Matsudaira.]
The correct answer is Ken Matsudaira.
Why is there a kanji reading for a kanji word?! Well, this is common sense amongst faction members.
"Roughneck," and "cooking lover" are also correct.
[Note: "Roughneck" is "Abarenbo" in Japanese.
Ken Matsudaira is the star of the TV show Abarenbo Shogun.
.]
All right! I did it!! Why are there people who got it correct?! What kind of brains do they have?! [Question 3 - Write down the following word in kanji: Jackie Chan.]
The third question.
Write down the following word in kanji.
This doesn't have anything to do with the Anti-Foreigner Faction anymore! Jackie?! I don't know! This is just plain unreasonable! The answer is "nose.
" [Nose.]
You just hate Jackie's nose!! Well, this is common sense amongst faction members.
"Chair" and "Ryo Saeba was pretty painful" are also correct.
[Note: Jackie Chan played Ryo Saeba in the Hong Kong version of City Hunter.
.]
That last one was just your opinion! Don't mention City Hunter! We've been doing Japanese until now.
Starting with the next question, we'll be doing math.
This is bad I still haven't got a single question right.
Question number four.
There are ten Shinsengumi members.
Six Anti-Foreigner Faction members run into them on the side of the road.
The Shinsengumi attack, and three of the Anti-Foreigner Faction members are killed.
Unyielding, the Anti-Foreigner Faction members kill two Shinsengumi members.
Amidst the confusion of the battle, two more Shinsengumi members are injured, but six more join them and two Anti-Foreigner Faction members are killed.
How many noses does Jackie have? One, of course!! How long are you going to keep talking about Jackie?! This has absolutely nothing to do with the battle!! Umm This question is incredibly difficult, so I'll give you extra time.
Think about it for an hour.
I don't need an hour! Nowait! He's been giving us deceptive answers until now.
What if Jackie was in this battle?! What if Jackie's nose Was cut off in the battle?! The correct answer is "one.
" You there, be quiet.
Oh, sorry I was completely tricked! I read into it too much and let a question I could answer slip by! Tsk! A trick question, huh? That was close.
What exactly were you tricked by?! Umm That's it for math.
This isn't math! [Question 5 - Translate the following passage.
.]
The next section is foreign language.
Question five.
Translate the following passage.
What language is this?! I can't read it at all!! Is this an alien language from another planet?! An illustration?! That's it! That illustration! That picture has got to represent the contents of the passage! I've got to rely on intuition and this picture to translate it! No matter how I look at this, it's a picture of a battlefield.
One guy is about to die and the other is listening to his last words.
There's no mistake He has something in his hand! A letter? No, a photograph! Never mind me Hurry up and run away, you maggot! The Sergeant quickly grew cold in my arms He was a drill sergeant who was so terrifying and hateful.
But right now his face looked so kind.
Can't you follow your superior's orders, you maggot?! Maggot! Tell me you're a maggot, you maggot! Sergeant! I am a maggot! I was abandoned by my parents like a maggot! No one will be sad if a maggot like me dies! Please let me do whatever I want! What a coincidence, maggot! When I took up arms, I also discarded my family.
No one will grieve for me anymore.
But you're different After the Sergeant said this he slowly took a blood-splattered photograph out of his inner breast pocket.
You have someone who will grieve for you.
It was a picture of when my mother was still young and healthy.
By her side was the Sergeant.
He was holding a baby.
Tell me I'm a maggotmy son.
Instructor You're a maggot.
You're a maggot's preciousgood-for-nothing father! The instructor smiled and ceased moving.
All right.
This should be good! Now, the correct answer Jackie's nose is big, isn't it? That's it.
It was a picture of Jackie?! How long a passage do you need to express how big Jackie's nose is?! It was wrong but I was touched.
Don't look at my answer! It's too embarrassing! The next question is the final question in the written exam.
The last one already?! Most of the questions were only about Jackie! [Question 6 - Write down the reason why you want to join the Anti-Foreigner faction in Kamchatkan.
.]
[Note: Kamchatkan is a language spoken in northeast Russia.
.]
Write down the reason why you want to join the Anti-Foreigner faction in Kamchatkan.
What?! Kamchatkan?! This is impossible!! I can't write in such a difficult language! This is a difficult question so if you get this right, you pass.
It's over.
I failed my mission.
The Vice-Chief is going to be angry with me.
I'll just write anything Umm One person got it correct.
Examinee number 11! Huh? Wow! I just wrote anything.
Is this for real?! Whatever the case, I can carry out my mission! All right! I did it! Umm Since he got it correct, let's take a look at his answer.
When translated, it says, "I came here to carry out an undercover investigation.
I will send all you Anti-Foreigner Faction members to hell.
" Huh? What?! Th-This is bad They discovered that I've come to do an undercover investigation! What's the meaning of this?! Did they know who I was from the beginning?! U-Umm Hmm You wish to become a part of our undercover investigation squad.
Good job.
Everyone, give him a round of applause.
Huh? They didn't find out who I was Thank goodness Now I can Those who have passed the written exam will now take the final test.
We will have a skills test.
Huh? Huh? You will take a skills test for undercover investigation.
Undercover investigation is one of the most difficult of Anti-Foreigner Faction activities.
The enemy isn't stupid enough to overlook spies.
There is an idiot right in front of me!! Even though it's a test, you don't know what'll happen.
So you will take the test under supervison.
Captain Dragon! CaptainDragon? U-Umm Hello, I'm Captain Dragon.
Huh? You're going to be sneaking into the headquarters of a certain organization with me.
You'll pass if you can steal a secret document.
Then you'll be a formal Anti-Foreigner Faction member.
Got that? Well, anyway You're one of those, aren't you? You're supposed to be him, aren't you? You're a Jackie look-alike I'm not Jackie.
I'm Captain Dragon! Your face is really close to mine.
Let me ask you one thing.
What is the one thing you must protect more than anything during an undercover investigation? Huh? Is this a test question? The answer is "your nose.
" Your nose? That's right.
Your nose! There are many vital spots on the human body.
Amateurs often guess that the testicles are the most vulnerable spot, but this is wrong! The most vulnerable spot is the nose!! Got that?! The final test Project Z will now begin!! There it is.
This was unexpectedly easy.
I did it! I've passed the skills test! What wonderful skills! You've passed so far! But you're being tested until you get that secret document safely to our headquarters! Your excursion continues until you greet the people back home! Shh Katsura-san, the enemy's going to find us! Hey, who was talking just now?! We've got intruders! They're in the secret documents room! They discovered us! The enemy found you during a crucial time.
You're still too naïve.
They discovered us because of you! Let's run away! Follow me, exam student! Wait! They're over there! Th-They followed us! [Question: Choose the correct action to take in this situation.
.]
Here's a question.
Choose the correct action to take in this situation.
Huh?! This is part of the test?! The correct action? Our only choice is to run away [Clock Tower.]
A bicycle? Nunchucks? A hanger? A dirty soccer ball? A clock tower? I see! I have to use one of these objects! More than anything, I should choose to escape.
In that case This is it!! This is the correct answer!! Oh no! So that was the correct answer! You fell?! The answer is, "We'll use that cut for the outtakes during the ending credits.
" [Note: Parody of a Hong Kong Kung-fu action movie.
.]
I can't use that! Let's go! We're going to shake them off with a car chase.
I'm good at that.
There they are.
Stop! This is bad.
Why your nose?! If you can protect your nose, you should've protect your butt! Don't worry about us! We've overcome danger like this many times.
You're just fools! It's a dead end.
Crap! There they are! They're over there! Oh no! They're after us! [Question: Choose the correct action to take in this situation.
.]
Here's a question.
Choose the correct action to take in this situation.
You should take the correct course of action! Honestly We've got to fight! Wrong.
The correct answer is to call Fatgon.
[Note: Parody of "Enter The Fat Dragon" by Sammo Hung.]
Fatgon! What is it, Dragon? Why Fatgon?! Why is he here?! If you called Un Pyao, you would have gotten half a point.
[Note: Parody of Yuan Biao.
Also a Hong Kong action star.
.]
Why would I do that?! Anyway, we've got to get away from here! I see! But I won't give you a point for that! I don't need any! Again?! Why is Edo filled with dead ends? What is the Shogunate doing?! That's a poignant Anti-Foreigner Faction-like comment.
I'll give you three points.
You're annoying! This is the end of the line Here's a question.
What do you think Fatgon should do in this situation? [Question: What should Fatgon do in this situation?.]
That has nothing to do with Jackie anymore! He's Fatgon! Sorry, Dragon, I don't want to die.
I'm disappointed in you! You're no different from when you were a thief! I'm disappointed in you for trying to get help from a thief! We'll talk afterwards.
Get them! Exam student, use your body to protect the secret document! You should protect more than just your nose! All right, now! Here's a question! Your comrade is being attacked! What should you do?! Why don't you just ask me for help?! Katsura is my enemy.
Captain Dragon is allied with the Anti-Foreigner Faction.
In that case, there should be no problem if I abandon them.
But this is an undercover mission.
A spy must become an Anti-Foreigner Faction member in mind and body.
In that case Let's run away, Katsura-san, Captain Dragon! An Anti-Foreigner Faction member must sometimes be cold-hearted in order to accomplish his goals.
You should have run away.
I can't give you any points for the test.
But you pass as a human being.
Crap We were almost there.
It's still not over, yet.
We've still got more tricks! That's a really cool thing to say, but this is all to much Here's a question.
Your comrades can't help you and you're surrounded by bad guys.
Choose the correct course of action in this hopeless situation.
I don't know What should I do in this situation? The correct answer is To not give up! But Take the secret document and run away.
Huh? But what about you two? We'll Protect Our new comrade!! Katsura-san! Captain Dragon! Go! Get outta here!! Don't let our efforts go to waste! Go! I won't let you! Katsura-san, Captain Dragon, I'll come back with reinforcements! Don't let him get away! I won't let you! I need to get help! I need to find help right away! Katsura-san and Captain Dragon are Huh? Huh? You did well.
You passed magnificently.
From today on, you're an Anti-Foreigner Faction member! Katsura-san, Captain Dragon You dropped something [Shogunate Special Armed Police Shinsengumi Investigator Sagaru Yamazaki.]
Huh? What?! [Preview.]
The next episode "People Are All Escapees of Their Own Inner Prisons.
" [Were Yamazaki's actions worthwhile? Katsura is thrown in jail.
.]
[The steel fortress, Prison Island.
Can Katsura safely escape?!.]