Hey Arnold! (1996) s03e10 Episode Script

1
MAN: Here we go.
HELGA: Arnold.
(YOWLING)
(BARKING)
Hey, Arnold!
(OPENING THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
(CRASHING)
(SCREAMS)
Hey, Arnold!
Arnold.
Arnold.
(SIREN WAILING)
Arnold.
Arnold.
Move it, football head!
ALL: Hey, Arnold!
STINKY:
You're so lucky
Mr. Simmons
picked you to drop off
Iggy's homework, Arnold.
Iggy's so cool.
I bet he's
not even sick.
Yeah, he's so cool.
Remember when he drew
that funny chalk picture
of Principal Wartz
looking like a circus clown
on the playground?
And Wartz got all mad
and made Iggy stay
after school for a whole week.
That was so cool.
Yeah, I bet he's
just faking being sick.
STINKY: He's so cool.
(ARNOLD KNOCKING ON DOOR)
Hi, is Iggy here?
He's on the sofa.
(MUSIC PLAYING)
(GUN FIRING)
Huh?
Arnold?
Iggy?
Arnold?
Iggy?
Arnold?
What are you wearing?
Nothing. Forget it.
You didn't see anything.
Are those bunny pajamas?
No, of course not.
I'm nine years old
for cripe's sakes.
Why would I be wearing
bunny pajamas?
Iggy, sweetheart,
I gotta wash this blanket.
They are.
They're bunny pajamas.
Oh, man.
I can't believe this.
Okay, okay. So it's true.
But Arnold, you gotta
do me a favor.
You gotta promise me
you won't tell.
(LAUGHS)
I promise.
I got a reputation,
people think I'm cool.
If they knew I sleep
in bunny pajamas,
I'd lose all respect.
I worked hard
for that respect.
(CHUCKLES)
I understand.
Promise me, Arnold.
(LAUGHS)
I promise.
That I won't tell anyone?
That I won't tell anyone.
(LAUGHS)
You sleep in bunny pajamas.
It's not funny, Arnold.
(LAUGHS)
I know. I promise.
STINKY: So that's how come
my favorite pudding
is lemon pudding.
You tell us that same story
every single morning.
That's on account
it's my favorite story
about myself.
So, Arnold,
how was Iggy yesterday?
Was he faking?
Oh, no.
He wasn't faking.
(LAUGHS)
I mean, he seemed
kind of sick. (LAUGHS)
What's so funny, Arnold?
Nothing.
Well, I reckon something
must be funny on account
of your laughing.
It's nothing. Just something
that happened what I went
to Iggy's last night.
Well, what happened?
I can't talk about it.
(GRUNTS)
STINKY: Come on,
Arnold, what was so funny?
I told you
I can't talk about it.
Was it something he did?
Well, it was just
something he was wearing.
But that's all I can say.
Was it a dress?
No, of course not.
Was it lederhosen?
No, Sid,
it wasn't lederhosen.
Well, come on,
how bad could it be?
I mean, it wasn't like
he was wearing
bunny pajamas or something.
Wait, you're
pulling my leg, right?
I didn't say anything.
Iggy wears bunny pajamas?
The kind with feet
and floppy ears?
No, of course not.
I didn't say that.
Oh, man.
This is unbelievable.
He must be the only
9-year-old in the
whole dang city
that wears bunny pajamas.
I didn't say he wears
bunny pajamas.
SID: But that's it,
isn't it, Arnold?
I can tell by the way
your face is turning all red.
Look, I promised Iggy
I wouldn't tell.
So you guys have
to promise too.
Sure, Arnold, we promise.
(SCHOOL BELL RINGS)
We won't tell a soul.
It's true. Iggy wears
bunny pajamas!
(ALL LAUGH)
With big old floppy ears
and everything.
Just like a little baby.
There he is.
GIRL: It's bunny boy.
Where's your bunny pajamas?
Do you wear
little diapers too? (LAUGHS)
What are you talking about?
Don't try to deny it.
Everybody knows
about your feet pajamas.
Yeah, Arnold told us
all about it.
Arnold!
I didn't tell them.
It was an accident.
You traitor.
Iggy, I swear, they guessed.
I couldn't help it.
I can't believe
you did this to me, Arnold.
Where's your little diaper?
(ALL LAUGH)
Look, I'm really sorry.
I know you're mad
but you have to believe me.
I didn't do it on purpose.
Iggy, where you going?
(SIGHS)
Hey, what's wrong?
Nothing. It's just that
my friend Iggy hates me.
Hates you? Why?
Well, you're such a nice kid.
Always doing the right thing,
helping people.
What the heck did you do
to make him hate you?
Well, I accidentally found out
he sleeps in bunny pajamas.
(SNICKERS) You mean
feet pajamas? With a hood
and floppy ears?
Yeah, and he made me
promise not to tell.
But then Sid and Stinky
found out and now
the whole school knows.
(LAUGHS)
Oh, that's a riot.
It's not funny, Grandpa.
Of course not.
I just wish I knew
how to make him forgive me.
Well, sir, some people
would say you should
buy his forgiveness
with presents and favors.
But I say you should
just go to the boy
and apologize
and explain to him in a calm,
rational way how it happened.
And that you
didn't mean to hurt him.
What if that doesn't work?
Then buy his forgiveness
with presents and favors.
There now.
That wasn't
so hard, was it?
(LAUGHS) A 9-year-old
in bunny pajamas.
Oh, that's a good one.
(DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES)
Oh, it's you.
Hi, Iggy.
I just wanted you to know
that I'm really, really sorry
about what happened.
I really didn't want
to let your secret out.
It was a complete accident.
And even though I know
I've really hurt you
and embarrassed you,
I'm just really sorry.
And I brought you these.
Deluxe chocolate creams?
They're for me?
Yeah, I know
they're your favorite.
I asked around.
I love these.
So does that mean
you forgive me?
No way.
Iggy, we have to talk.
Look, you can't stay
mad at me forever.
Iggy, come on.
I bet everybody's
already forgotten about it.
HELGA: Oh, look,
boys and girls,
it's the bunny pajama boy.
(ALL LAUGH)
Hi, I'm Iggy the bunny boy.
(ALL LAUGH)
I used to think he was cool.
(SIGHS)
Boy, Iggy's really
taking this thing hard.
Yeah, that's true.
But how long
can a fella stay mad?
(SCHOOL BELL RINGS)
(BELLS JINGLE)
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
Look, Iggy. I know
you're still mad at me.
But I've got an idea.
What if I do your chores
for a whole week?
Would that be enough
to prove to you
how sorry I am?
You're saying
you wanna do my chores
for a whole week? Is that it?
Yeah.
All right. I'm finished.
I did all of your chores.
Okay, thanks, Arnold.
Wait a minute. I just wanna
make sure everything's okay.
You forgive me now, right?
Are you kidding?
Of course not.
After what you did to me,
how could doing a few chores
possibly make me forgive you?
Iggy, I thought
we had a deal.
I never said
I'd let you off the hook.
What, Iggy? What do I have
to do to prove to you
that I'm really sorry.
Iggy, that's crazy!
It's the only way
you'll know how I felt
when you betrayed me.
And it's the only way
I'll ever forgive you.
I can't believe
I'm doing this.
Arnold, I want you
to know that
when you go down there
and walk that long,
lonely, embarrassing walk,
it's going to be
all I can bear to watch.
And take pictures
for the album. (LAUGHS)
(GRANDPA CHUCKLES)
Great.
Well, I reckon
it's just about time
for Arnold to come out.
I guess it's kind of
mean of Iggy to make
Arnold go through this.
I mean, Arnold
didn't really spill the beans.
Yeah, come to think of it,
it was you and me who kind of
pulled the truth out of him.
It was a fluke.
Yeah, it wasn't
Arnold's fault.
It sure is
a terrible state of affairs.
Total humiliation.
Yup. And it's gonna be
much more humiliating
on account of
we'll have pictures.
Arnold, wait,
you don't have to do this.
Arnold!
Look, the bunny boy
is on TV.
IGGY: Arnold!
(ECHOES)
Arnold, I'm so sorry.
Oh, it's you.
I tried to call it off.
I couldn't get through,
I'm sorry.
Come on, Arnold,
what do I have to do
to make it up to you?
How about I do
your chores for a week?
Oh, come on. You know,
you're going to have
to forgive me, Arnold.
Arnold? Arnold? Arnold!
BOB:
Here's your big slurp kid.
Oh, and Miriam,
I got you some
of those
little chocolate donuts.
What What's happening?
You gotta eat something.
Remember, you're starting
your community service job out
at the animal shelter today.
Oh, B, I'm just
(SIGHS) I'm not
good in the morning.
Come on, the fresh air
will do you good.
And Helga, since
your mom's gonna be
out of the house,
I hired a nanny.
A nanny?
(SCOFFS) I don't
need a nanny.
I can take care of myself.
Baloney, you're only seven.
I'm nine, Dad.
Anyway, the gal's name
is Inge Perlmutter.
She'll be here any minute.
What! Are you
trying to ruin my life?
Hey, hey, hey,
don't bust my chops.
It'll be good for you.
(DOOR BELL DINGS)
(GROANS)
Ah, that must be her now.
Morning, Inge.
Well, gotta go
pick up my lucky belt
before next week's
clearance sale.
Good morning,
everyone. I'm Inge.
Oh, and you must be Helga.
No, she's Helga.
And I'm Toulouse-Lautrec.
Soda and chocolate donuts
are not a proper breakfast.
Here. I have brought you some
homemade gooseberry jam
and pumpernickel bread.
Yeah, yeah, great.
But I already
had breakfast. All full.
Too much sugar
makes children cranky.
Look, your face
is cranky already.
I'll put some jam
on my homemade bread.
And you will try it
and I'm sure you will like it.
Mom, aren't you
gonna do something?
I just
I have to go
To worksomewhere.
Fine. I'll eat your jam
and bread and then
I'm out of here.
And after that,
you will get dressed
for school.
What do you call this?
Your dress is not pressed.
Your shoes are not polished.
And we must braid your hair.
Hey, lady, this is
how I look every day.
I am not going to school
looking like some kind of
starched and pressed
wind up doll.
(SCHOOL BELL RINGS)
STINKY: Why, Helga,
you look just like the girl
on the box of hot chocolate.
Aw, put
a sock in it, Stinky.
You think
I don't know that?
My nanny wouldn't
let me out of the house
until I changed.
You have
a nanny now, Helga?
Yeah, and she thinks she can
just move into my house
and start running my life.
Well, I've got
news for her.
Nobody runs Helga Pataki.
Wow, Helga. You got
flowers in your hair.
Yeah, you wanna make something
of it, football head?
No, I was just thinking
you look kind of nice.
(SCHOOL BELL RINGS)
(EXCLAIMS)
(SNORTING)
Okay, you big candy cane,
let's see if you got the
muster to swing the lumber.
(ALL CHEER)
Helga, I have been
looking for you everywhere.
She's pretty enough
to be the queen
of the cheese festival.
Don't bother me now,
Edelweiss.
You should have
come home first.
It's time to have
a nutritious snack
and do your homework.
And after dinner,
I will teach you
how to do needle point.
It's very calming
for nervous children.
I'm staying with my friends.
And that's final.
Tomorrow, you may
see your friends
after school.
Will you come and have cake?
ALL: Yeah, sure.
(GROANS)
No, I don't have
to get used to her, Phoebe.
She's gonna be gone as soon
as my dad gets a load of the
stuff she made for dinner.
Ah, it's some kind
of foreign food.
Dad's gonna blow his stack.
He hates that stuff.
I love this stuff!
I haven't had
potato dumplings this good
since my papa made them
when I was a little boy.
I'm gonna have
to put another notch
in my lucky belt, Inge.
Great. Just great.
Helga, you haven't
touched your potato dumplings.
Is there something wrong?
Yeah, it stinks.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
You watch your mouth, missy.
You haven't asked
to be excused.
Helga
Can I be excused, Mom?
Uh (MUMBLES)
Whatever.
Thanks, Mom.
I'm out of here.
You must show respect, Helga.
Curtsy for your father.
All hail the beeper king.
INGE: Helga!
Eh.
I hate her. I hate her.
I hate her.
Look on the
bright side, Helga.
Inge has many
admirable qualities.
You can learn
a lot from her.
What are you, nuts?
Wow, Inge, you're beautiful,
you're intelligent,
you're the most amazing woman
I ever met.
That tears it!
I don't know why
you're so hard on Inge.
I'm sure she makes mistakes
like everyone else.
Not enough of them.
(CACKLES)
HELGA: Oh, no!
What a mess!
This is terrible!
(PANTING)
What happened, child?
You know that welcome wreath
you're making
for the front door?
Well, I was using
your wood glue,
totally unsupervised,
and I spilt the whole jar
on Dad's chair by accident.
And he's gonna be home
any minute.
Thank goodness,
that's all it is.
I was afraid you were hurt.
You're not upset?
No. I know how to remove
stains from anything.
Your father's chair
will be perfect again
in no time.
(GRUNTS)
(BEEPING)
(CACKLES)
Another 20 minutes,
and it'll be burnt
to a crisp. (EVIL LAUGH)
(RAPID BEEPING)
Oops, looks like
dinner's ruined.
You know, I really don't mind
eating cereal for dinner.
But Dad's gonna
hit the roof.
Oh, I have prepared
several emergency dinners
for just such a case.
We'll eat in no time.
(GROANS)
(BUZZER SOUNDS)
This tablecloth
is really delicate. Hmm.
That will shred it
like cheese through
a grater. (SCOFFS)
Well, I guess you ruined
Mom's antique tablecloth.
Bad day, huh?
Yes, I seem to have
a little rain cloud
following me everywhere.
Tough luck.
Might as well throw it out.
No, there's always a way
to rescue these things.
Criminy! I've been
thinking too small.
It's time to think big.
What if she loses
something really valuable?
No, what is that happens
to disappear? (LAUGHS)
Ah!
This is perfect.
Dad's lucky belt
with a diamond buckle.
He'll be looking all over
for it tomorrow.
He never starts
a clearance sale without it.
BOB: Where in creation
is my lucky belt?
I have a clearance sale today.
I need that belt.
(GASPS) You mean
your lucky belt with the
diamond buckle is missing?
I can't start slashing
prices without it.
This is terrible!
We're going to be poor.
Say, Dad, isn't it strange
your belt's
never been missing before.
Only since Inge
started working here.
What are you driving at?
You said
you looked everywhere.
Did you look
in Inge's bedroom?
Hmm.
I trusted you.
I let you into my house,
my castle.
For crying out loud,
why would you rip me off?
Mr. Bob, I have done
no such thing.
When you come to your senses
you will realize this has all
been a terrible mistake.
Isn't that true, Helga?
A mistake was made.
(CRIES)
I trusted you, nanny Inge.
(CRIES)
The only mistake
around here was me
hiring you, little lady.
Now get your strudel eating
fanny out of my house.
Fine. I will go now.
Sayonara, Fraulein.
Your sandwich looks
mighty pretty, Helga.
Inge makes
a real nice presentation.
(SCOFFS) Here, it's yours.
But don't get used to it.
My dad fired her
this morning.
Fired her?
Inge seemed
highly qualified
at her job.
Yeah, well, my dad
found his lucky belt under
her bed this morning.
And stealing qualifies you
for getting fired.
(ALL GASP)
I can't believe
Inge would steal.
Don't be ridiculous.
Of course Miss Goody-two-shoes
didn't steal the belt.
I had to get rid
of her somehow.
So I took it.
You set her up
on purpose?
I can't believe
you'd do something
that mean.
(ALL MUTTERING)
(SCHOOL BELL RINGS)
Hey, she was
ruining my life.
You call
this stuff coleslaw?
I can't eat
anymore of this.
Ah, clear your plate.
There's no more
room in the sink.
(SIGHS) You know,
I kind of miss old Inge.
She had this place
running like a Swiss watch.
The food was great,
my shirts looked brand
spanking new.
And she always had
a smile on her face.
Who'd have thought
a gal like that would be
a common thief.
Yeah, well,
forget about her, Dad.
She wasn't that great.
Anyway she's probably
already working
for somebody else.
(WIND BLOWING)
What is this place?
I feel like I'm in
some sort of painting
or something.
Hi, Inge. What are you
doing in the park?
I'm here everyday now.
I have nowhere else to go.
You don't have a job?
No one will hire
a common thief.
What do you do
for food?
I get by.
It's mine. Mine, I tell you.
Get away,
you dirty bird. (GULPS)
(SCREAMS)
Wh Why do I keep
having this dream?
I can't take it anymore.
I I know. I'll just go
to the park tomorrow
and Inge won't be there
and it'll all be okay.
Oh, no. It's just like
in my dream.
Don't panic, Helga.
It's probably just
a coincidence.
So, Inge, did you
find another job?
No, Helga.
There is no job
in my future.
I can't stand it.
I gotta tell you.
I know how Dad's lucky belt
got under your bed.
We both know, Helga.
You put it there
to make trouble for me.
I had to do something.
You were making me miserable.
There is no excuse
for what you did.
And you must
face the consequences.
What consequences?
I got away with it,
didn't I?
You're such
an angry girl, Helga.
(CAR HONKS)
And you won't let
anyone help you.
So you must live
with your unhappiness.
BOB:
What do you mean
the TV's broke?
I gotta watch my new
beeper commercial, Miriam.
What is it
about this house anyway?
Everything's always
going wrong at the
worst possible time.
INGE: Dear, Helga, it is
wonderful to be back
in the Alps.
I trust everything
in your house is
the same as always.
BOB:
I'm sick of it Miriam.
Inge.
(CLOSING THEME MUSIC PLAYING)