Hill Street Blues (1981) s03e10 Episode Script
Phantom of the Hill
Item seven.
You've all seen the pictures.
Three bodies burned to a crisp.
Each shot behind the ear for good measure.
A portion of the vehicle which survives the barbecue Identifies the victims as Peruvian.
Circumstance and methodology of the deceased Suggest probable involvement in the drug trade.
Experience teaches that these airport episodes Often repercuss on the hill, particularly on that section known as little Lima.
Item eight.
You're reminded, as if reminders are necessary, that the mcb continues current On the governor's wife's beloved lhasa apso lamont.
Whoo, whoo, whoo! The subject is male, sand-colored coat.
Distinguishings are bulging brown eyes And a blue bow in the forelock.
People, the more timely this canine's recovery, the more expeditious will be this precinct's Return to appropriate police pursuits.
A personal plea from your sergeant.
Please, please.
Let's find the damn dog.
Item nine.
In view of seasonal and flu-related absences, temporary assignments are as follows: Crawford and Nicholas, Hernandez and wykopf, mersky and deutsch.
On a more somber note.
Item 11.
Night duty sergeant devane records at 2300 hours An attack on foot patrolman Fred weiss.
Officer sustained a flesh wound to the right ankle, requiring eleven stitches.
A regiment of tetanus injections has been initiated.
Suspected perpetrator the hill phantom.
Ooh! It's clear we're witnessing one of those periods Of increased activity characteristic of this unfortunate individual's Haunted subterranean existence.
As we roll, therefore, it behooves us Not only to keep our heads up as appropriate But when we pass those storm drains and sewers Which are the intersection of this poor creature's world with our own, we'd best keep our eyes down as well.
All right.
That's it.
Let's roll.
And let's be very careful out there.
Belker.
Will you step to the podium for a second? Would you do me a monumental favor, Mick? Sure.
You know where katzenbach jewelers is? Yeah.
Could you pick something up for me? I'm chained to the desk with this dog business.
I got a couple reports.
How 'bout after lunch? Sure.
Perfect.
What the hell is it, the hope diamond? You must have two weeks' pay in here.
Keep a secret? Yeah.
It's an engagement ring.
I'm poppin' the question tonight to grace gardner.
Sarge! Dispatch.
We have a 9-11.
Armed robbery in progress.
See surplus store, corner people's drive, 124th street.
Yes.
I'll give him the message directly.
Yes? Excuse me.
Yes, um Would you know where I might find officer renko, please? Yes, he's just around the corner to the left.
Thank you.
Morning, Phil.
Morning, Francis.
Francis, that was the coroner's office.
They just exhumed the castaneda body.
Autopsy's at 9:15.
Thanks.
Francis You keep a secret? Sure.
I'm asking for grace's hand tonight.
Phil, that's wonderful news.
Mum's the word until I get an acceptance.
You upset about something when you left the party? No.
How was wilt? Doug.
Did you have a good time? Yeah.
He's a nice kid.
Where'd you meet him, at a day care center? Someday I should figure out how much time I spend waiting for renko By this bench.
He'll be right out.
Thanks.
Here comes the man.
Hi there, sweetmeat.
What're you doing up in these mean streets? Good morning.
Um, I'll just wait for you outside.
Bye.
Good morning.
I I need to talk to you for a couple of minutes, please.
Sure.
What can I do for you? Well, there's Really no easy way to say this.
I don't think we should see each other anymore.
- Is that right? - Yes, it is.
Would you mind telling me why? Does it really make any difference? Yeah, it does.
It does.
I mean, I I thought We did have that little set-to at that gallery opening With your high-and-mighty friends, but Yeah, it does make a difference.
Tell me.
We're just too different.
We Wait a minute.
We're not too different two or three times a week for the last two months.
There's a lot of things I could say Say 'em.
- What's the point? - Say 'em.
What's the point? I don't like your bullying.
I don't like your reverse snobbery.
- Bullying.
- Yeah.
Forcing me to do things, like making me take a drink I don't want.
That was at a party.
Just so I can be one of the guys? Your attitude about women, the way you treat me like an object And your whole stupid idea that the only real people are people who sweat for a living! You don't have the slightest idea what i think about women! Don't tell me what to do! What are we doing? Andrew.
I liked you.
I I still like you a lot.
I There's no reason to pretend that we had more than we had.
There's no point making this more difficult than it already is.
Right.
You're right.
No sweat.
No pain.
Just chic, polite.
- I'm sorry.
- You get out.
I need a pen.
Hello.
How you doing? Um look, I'm sorry about last night.
I Don't don't worry about it.
I just talked to Andrew.
We're not going to be seeing each other anymore.
So, um, if you want, we We can get together some time.
Teresa, that's not a good idea right now.
Look, I gotta go.
Can I call you? I don't know.
I'll see you, okay? What are you doing here? Didn't I tell you never to come up h What's wrong? Mick I'm so frightened.
I'm so afraid! He killed those Peruvians! My god, Mick! He was covered in blood.
Calm down.
Tell me what happened.
He came home around 4:30.
That's your boyfriend.
Jose.
The one that bailed you out when i first busted you? No.
That was Ramon.
I watched him burn his clothes, wash the blood off.
My god, he was soaked in blood! Take it easy.
And then when I saw those pictures, the bodies in the car, Mick! The boyfriend's been setting up the deal for two months.
Now he loses his bankroll, so he decides to take the Peruvian suppliers.
He meets 'em at the airport and blows 'em away.
I'd say our $50 yesterday was well spent.
Captain, I promised Eddie he wouldn't have to testify.
He's terrified of that lover.
He'd be next to useless on the witness stand anyway.
Let's have him go over the mug books, see if he can identify anybody who's done business with the boyfriend.
We'll try to bust him and roll him over.
Autopsy, frank.
Keep ray posted.
Dog hotline.
When was this? Yeah.
Yeah.
Who am I speaking to? Yes, Mr.
Caldwell.
$1,000.
No That's very scrupulous of you.
After the recovery'd be fine.
Let me just get this one more time.
It's 466 carmine, apartment 2A, right? Thank you much, Mr.
Caldwell.
Doggie hotline.
Any luck, Henry? Lhasa apso in abandoned apartment.
Guy doesn't want to be paid until after the governor's wife identifies the dog.
Great.
Howard.
This is a white male, five-seven, 158 pounds, 47 years old.
Exhumed 22 days after Interment.
Superficial tissue.
Unremarkable.
Exhibits first stage of decomposition Consistent with introduction Preservation fluid.
Wally.
Castaneda was 47 years old.
Isn't that what we've got? Yes, sir.
This man is not 47.
Well, see, frank He's been underground three weeks Come on, Wally! This guy's in his 70s.
Check the toe tag.
Castaneda.
They dug him up this morning.
Some kinda screwup! What in the hell's going on here? Frank.
Frank, I'll I'll get the right body for you.
Seventy-two hour rule, coroner nydorf: Either I charge or we release.
Is he dead or what? Come on, pal.
Come on.
No snoozing in a red zone.
Pete! Pete! Pete! Officer tataglia.
Is something wrong? It was the phantom.
Grabbed her leg from a storm drain on dekker.
Just about tore it off.
Imadre Mia! He got my shoe.
Shoes? Ooh.
A new and disconcerting twist.
The phantom? Yeah.
I got him a good one with my stick.
I think I hurt him.
Speaking of injuries, officer tataglia, perhaps we should have that ankle x-rayed.
No, no.
He didn't even break the skin.
I'm okay.
Honest.
Phil, call a.
D.
A.
Bernstein.
Tell him I have to get with him this afternoon.
Anything wrong with the autopsy? Other than a no-show by the body, it was just grand.
Washington.
Yo, man.
I got a snitch.
Picked these dealers out of the book.
You know any of 'em? Nada.
Nada.
Nada.
Sid.
Sid.
You tight with this guy? We were about to bust him when myzell went south.
He thinks we're a couple of cupcakes.
Can you set me up a meet today? I got a hook on those three Peruvians.
Just a phone call away, my man.
Thank you very much.
You got it.
Frank.
I don't know if this is the right dog or the wrong dog.
But it is definitely the last dog that I am going to recover.
Francis, a.
D.
A.
Bernstein can see you this afternoon.
But he'd like you to include everyone on the Edwards case Washington, larue, coroner nydorf.
Phil, one second, please.
Could you take our charge here Somewhere where he can be reunited with his owner? Well, of course! Come here, poochie.
That's a good fella.
For the record, frank, in my entire career, I've never suffered a more humiliating indignity.
Frank I was urinated on.
Be sure to submit a dry-cleaning voucher, Howard.
Damn foreign-type dogs.
Give me a Shepherd any day.
Yo, Mr.
policeman.
Martinez requesting a viewing of the alleged Lasso apsis lamont, which I have a personal knowledge is a fraud.
Bogus, Henry.
Fake.
Not even close.
What makes you say so, Jesus? Trust me, Henry.
Trust me.
The dog's a Hummer.
That is not lamont.
This is a bitch.
Didn't you even sex the animal? Did I explore the dog's privates? No, madam.
I denied myself that pleasure.
But I can certainly attest to the fact that they are in working order.
I'd like a word with you.
Of course.
I myself don't know who has the mutt.
I don't have the slightest idea where the mutt is at.
But I think maybe I know somebody who knows somebody else who knows.
You know? Don't push your luck, Jesus.
Cool it, brother.
I'm just a concerned citizen here.
- I could have you arrested as an accessory.
- Yeah, maybe.
But I don't think lamont would like that.
- Why don't we hear him out? - Thank you, Frankie.
You're always a gentleman.
Like I said The mutt's available.
But it's gonna require a thousand dollars for the people he's staying with.
And what is your cut? Me? Got no cut, bro.
Bottom line, Jesus.
Right now.
I got a proposal with the federals for the inner city pilot program.
We must put a stop to this urban decay.
Right, brother ray? We must harness the energy Of the troubled gang youth.
Get 'em off the corner and on the job.
Captain.
Speed it up.
The rebop kings in Washington are always talking about revenue sharing, right? Funneling the conscience money Through the state capitols and all of that.
When Trudy's main squeeze gets me the Grant, she gets lamont.
That's out-and-out blackmail! Sounds to me like a good faith request for a recommendation? You tell Trudy it's blackmail.
You're just jiving us, aren't you, wise guy? You don't know where the dog is.
You're lying like all the others.
Well, I will make sure that you never, never "I-a- m" let me see that.
I hear these guys are pretty tough, furillo.
They wanted to send lamont's paw as a token of friendship.
Okay.
I'll see the governor gives you a priority recommendation.
Hey! Recommendations are for job applicants.
I want a Grant.
Otherwise, these guys are gonna fillet lamont And mail him home in an envelope.
When will the dog be returned? I'll get back to ya.
Hey, we're on, babe.
3:00 sharp.
Hasen's restaurant.
Sid likes to sit in the back.
Great.
Gives me a chance to run an errand.
See you there.
Yeah.
Grace, my sweet our favorite restaurant, our favorite wine, Venus sitting over the water.
I think tonight's gonna be a night That you and I will long remember.
One more shoe, pizza man.
We're due back on the hill in 15 minutes.
What are you doing? The furillo diet plenty of exercise And no time left for lunch.
We can munch on these in the cab.
Gee, thanks.
Frank! - Fay.
- Um - U-this is Paul.
- How are you? Joyce.
Judge grogin of traffic court.
Guilty.
Well, Paul We seem to have made a terrible mistake.
The rainbow room's not on this floor.
- Is it? - No? I think you want the 18th.
Well, what floor is this? Three.
We We we were just leaving.
Enjoy your lunch.
They have very good food here.
I have a cold.
We really have to go.
- It's nice meeting you.
- Nice meeting you too.
Have a nice lunch.
May I help you? Yeah.
I got a ring to pick up.
Esterhaus.
Esterhaus? I don't believe I know the name.
- Do you have a sales slip? - Yes, I do.
Yes.
The half-carat midnight jubilee.
Just a moment, please.
No smoking here.
I believe there's a balance remaining of $400.
Yeah.
I got it right here.
You want to step back, please? Come on, move back.
I'm I'm I'm all right.
You sure? Yeah, I'm positive.
I'm I'm fine.
I'm fine.
I just need some fresh air.
I'm fine.
Thank you.
You sure you're all right.
I'm fine.
Okay.
I'm sorry.
Thank you.
Well.
Hey, you hold it! Move!! Police! Freeze! Where's the ring, dirtbag? I want that ring! Sit down, armpit, or I'll eat your lungs for lunch.
Who's the suspect, Mick? Hi sarge.
I caught him taking a five-finger discount Down at katzenbach's jewelry store.
No kidding.
Right when you were down there picking up the ring? Yeah.
Him and another guy.
Well, where's the other one? Well, he kinda got away.
I gotta talk to you about something, sarge.
What'd they get? A bunch of bracelets, earrings, watches, rings.
Lotta rings.
Rings? Yeah, well, I mean, sure.
Rings.
Kinda.
That's what I gotta talk to you about, sarge.
Where's my ring? I think the other guy got it.
Excuse me, Mick.
Young man, I intend to interrogate you personally forthwith.
I don't say nothin' without my attorney, man.
Maybe I oughta stick with you on this, sarge.
I got constitutional rights.
Miss Davenport.
A moment of your time, please.
Mr.
crane, concerning the ring in question.
I believe you might find it advisable From a negotiating point of view, as it were You're coming dangerously close to unconstitutional coercion, sergeant.
Miss Davenport.
It was his engagement ring.
He was gonna ask grace gardner to marry him tonight.
Mr.
crane, please comprehend that I don't give a damn Whether you ultimately receive a jail term or not.
- I've got a phone call to make.
- Hey, wait a minute.
You ain't leaving! Unless you feel like giving over the name of your running mate, you insidious little termite, I may be forced to do something That I haven't done in many years.
Herman Fowler.
337 maplecrest.
- What's that name again? - Herman Fowler.
337 maplecrest.
Fourth floor.
Room 49.
Right next to the trash chute.
Mick.
I believe coffey and bates are available for an arrest.
Because I just don't feel right about it, that's why.
Tonight? No way.
Look, I'm sorry.
I can't.
Yo, Joseph.
We got a felony trash pickup on maplecrest.
Sarge says pronto.
One second.
Look, I gotta go.
I'll get back to you later, okay? Right.
Sorry I'm late, guys.
But we have a bit of a problem.
What kind of problem, Wally? Did you find castaneda's body? No.
Castaneda's body is n.
R - Nonretrievable.
- What do you mean, nonretrievable? Look, I'm really very sorry about this, guys, but Frank, you know that wrong stiff we had on the slab this morning? Well, it seems that he was a John Doe we scraped up off the streets in skid row The same day castaneda died.
Then the way I figure it, we got the toe tags mixed up on the two guys by mistake.
Frank, I'm embarrassed about this, but it happens.
Course, the Upshot of it is that Well, look, frank, we would never cremate a homicide, but We do cremate bums.
So castaneda was cremated? I'm afraid you're out one victim.
Man! I don't believe this! We put in over a hundred hours building the case, you lame, incompetent J.
D.
Neal.
Don't you have some business to attend to outside? Right.
Yeah.
Sure.
Just for the record, Wally, I'd have to agree with larue's evaluation of your abilities.
Now you just stow it, frank! I'm not one of your departmental stooges around here! Wally, Wally, frank, please.
Let's try to figure a way to deal with this mess.
No cause of death.
No murder case.
That's how I've always understood the law.
Well, technically, yes.
I see no reason to continue this meeting.
Unless it's to discuss the immediate release of our suspect.
Look, frank.
I'm as sorry about this as anybody in this room.
But, frank, I've gone over the crime lab photos, and believe me, there is nothing mysterious about how castaneda died.
Hell, I could describe the cause of death in my sleep! Come on, Wally.
That's not nearly good enough.
I submit a report.
I talk a couple minutes on tracheal blockage.
And then the defense attorney Starts a line-by-line cross-examination of the autopsy report.
Wait a minute, frank.
Let's not be hasty.
You would be amazed how informal these prelims can get With regard to cause of death.
We get past the hearing, maybe we can get a plea out of Edwards.
And what if he blows it up there? Look, frank, it's a bad situation, but Wally is making some sense.
Let me talk this out with the d.
A.
I'll get back to both of you.
No, it's good to meet you, Lee.
It's a real pleasure.
No, no.
It's my pleasure.
Look, you guys want anything to eat here, chips or hot stuff? Yeah, thanks.
No.
Wanna try the wine? That great wine? Hey, I'm on the wagon.
Only dope.
So, you are Teddy and Steve's amigo.
Yeah.
For a long time.
They're good people.
Even if they are too busy for their uncle sid here.
Yeah.
Hey, come on, you bums.
I haven't heard squat one from you in two weeks.
Hey! Hey, we went skiing, baby.
Yeah, down in dade county.
Hey, I tell you what.
The powder was deep.
Listen, I gotta tell you, Lee.
Did you tell him the story what? Let me tell the story.
I felt terrible with these two.
I'm movin' these two a little soda Just a couple pounds And another guy who I'm also movin' Turns out to be the heat.
No.
So boom! No.
Somebody kills him.
Tch, tch, tch.
Now, evidently, these two guys got a little scared Which I don't blame them Because the next day they call me, and they're in Atlantic city.
That's the only place he could pass for Italian.
Hey, watch it, man.
And this guy.
This guy's too much.
He's always making jokes.
Man, I love him.
And you.
You.
Come here.
Come on.
Try it.
You want one on there? Try it.
I wouldn't do it.
Last time I saw you, you had a collar like the budweiser horse.
I got it from the horse.
It was a little insurance gift.
Did you make out on that? Pocket change.
You know.
So we all right here or what? Yeah.
Absolutely.
Listen.
When are we gonna do a little business? We a little short right now, babe.
We've just been moving some copper wire.
Soon as we get off it, we're back in action, okay? Okay.
But don't forget your uncle.
Hey, never.
I also wanna tighten you up for this introduction here.
Forget it.
No.
I'm gonna do it.
Hey, not necessary.
Take care? - Easy.
- All right.
Later.
So.
So, I, I told the fellas I was lookin' for a little stuff.
I'm exclusively soda, Lee.
Can i call you Lee? Absolutely.
Okay.
I'm soda.
Exclusively.
Well, good.
'Cause that's my action too.
Now, um, how much weight were you lookin' for? I'm lookin' to do Kilos? Pounds.
There's no problem with if-come, am I right, Lee? Because Cash on delivery.
'Cause we're taking about 100% Peruvian soda.
Nobody has stepped on this.
I'm I'm gettin' $30,000 per unit.
When can we do this? Well, I gotta tell ya.
This is such a coincidence, because i happen to be in a position.
How's tomorrow look for you? Tomorrow couldn't be better for me.
You're a citizen, Lee.
You're just who Steve and Teddy'd bring along.
Thank you very much.
Sure you won't try the wine? Yeah.
I'll have a little.
Good.
'Cause I think you're gonna like it.
I think they get it in California.
He got my purse! He grabbed it! He got my purse! Who took your purse? That creep! He ran in the sewer! Okay, okay.
Calm down.
Can you give us a description? Description? Yeah.
Sugar, he looked like something that somebody left in their refrigerator for six months! - What's the trouble here? - It's the phantom.
Well, are you gonna go down there and get my purse back or what? Throw down the light.
They're inside, babe.
Hey, listen.
Don't spring it too soon, okay? Hey, what, and spoil my fun? I own these four bozos for the rest of the afternoon.
Listen, guys.
If he's lived down here for years, he must know every inch of this place.
- Nice thought.
- Maybe we ought to wait for backup.
And say what when they show up, we were too scared of the dark to go in by ourselves? Come on.
What are you doing? I don't know.
I think I tripped on something.
It's mine.
Will you look at that? That creep must have chewed it.
What was that? Down there.
Man, no, no! Hello, Teresa? Yeah, this is Andy.
Listen, I'm sorry about this morning.
Listen, I gotta see you tonight.
It's real important.
There's a lotta things I gotta talk to you about.
Is that so? You sure don't waste any time, do you, girl? All of a sudden, art delgado comes outta the sewer rafter.
No, no, no.
Wait, wait.
He's got a bullhorn full of compressed air, two dead rats hanging from his Two dead rats hanging from his ears.
Okay? I'm terrified! But I got the joke.
I laughed.
I didn't pull my service revolver and try to blow his head off.
You know? What? Hi, sharpshot.
Pretty rough day today? You jiving me? Almost killed your partner.
Wanna talk it out? I went crazy.
I choked.
I don't even remember pulling my gun.
And now you figure you don't have what it takes to be a cop.
Maybe it's lucky I found out now.
Saves me a lotta time.
Maybe.
I oughta quit.
I'm a coward.
Good idea.
Hey.
What? Maybe you oughta lighten up on the guy, Mr.
kelp suit.
Yeah.
That's right.
I'll bet you're just dyin' To go ride with him again tomorrow.
That's none of your business.
Ya got hair, kid.
You're all right.
Well, it must have been something that got you through the academy.
Must have been something that made you want to be a cop.
Would you believe dreams of a desk job? No, I don't.
It's happened even to a veteran cop.
Things get confused.
He fires his gun at an innocent person I don't want to talk about it anymore.
Two months ago I shot and killed an innocent man.
You did? Two guys coming out of a liquor store holdup.
One pointed a shotgun at me.
I fired.
He owned the store.
Man.
Lotta sleepless nights between then and now.
Lotta questions.
All of us on the job, we all live with your kind of doubts.
Five days out of every seven.
Questions that there just aren't any answers to.
Look, Nate, I'm not saying that you're meant to be a cop, but if you decide that's what you wanna do, then you better learn to live with 'em too, man.
Something something to think about anyway, okay? Okay.
Mick? What? I can't do it.
Do what? Stay with Jose tonight.
I'm afraid of him.
Of what he did.
Every time I close my eyes, I see those charred Peruvians.
It's horrible.
I can't.
So don't.
Just whatever you do, make sure he thinks it's an ordinary night, will you, please? Go on.
Scram.
Beat it.
I have no place to go.
I was wondering if maybe, I could stay with you.
Are you nuts? You and me, in together? Absolutely not.
Wait a minute.
Go get yourself a room.
Come here.
Sleep on the sofa.
Mick.
You're wonderful.
I'll make you a breakfast fit for a king.
You make me breakfast, I'll ram it down your throat.
Do you understand that? You're such a treasure.
Phil.
Grace! My god.
Aren't you early? Well, you said 6:00 sharp.
You were quite adamant on that point, as I recall.
You sounded so mysterious.
Do you have something special in mind for this evening? No, no, no.
Not really.
Well.
Yes.
There was gonna be something special, but if you have another plan in mind Anything, darling.
Just as long as it's with you.
My god.
I don't deserve you, grace.
- Sarge.
Here's your ring.
- Thanks, Joseph.
Ring? Grace, um I've never been at a loss for words until now.
Phil.
For me? Well, perhaps it's not the most elegant surroundings, but Will you marry me, grace? Phil.
I don't know what to say.
Well, say yes.
Excuse me, Francis.
Can I have a moment of your time? Sure, Phil.
She said no to me, Francis.
Grace? I'm sorry.
She said I don't even know what she said.
She said that we didn't need to get married.
What the hell does that mean? Maybe she's a free spirit.
I wanted children, Francis.
I'm not getting any younger.
You gonna go on seeing her? I don't know.
I oughta make a clean break.
Well, if you don't need me anymore Sure.
Take off.
You know, it seems the phantom struck, today Under dekker Avenue.
Seems young Crawford overreacted somewhat And discharged his weapon at point-blank range.
He missed.
That gag should have been retired a long time ago, Phil.
Tomorrow let's put Crawford with Bobby hill, okay? Yeah.
That's a good idea.
Well If you don't need me anymore? Phil, how how 'bout if I buy you a beer? That'd be nice, Francis.
So You really are a very nice man, Joe coffey.
Yeah.
I'm a regular prince.
When can I see you again? I'll call ya, okay? Okay.
You've all seen the pictures.
Three bodies burned to a crisp.
Each shot behind the ear for good measure.
A portion of the vehicle which survives the barbecue Identifies the victims as Peruvian.
Circumstance and methodology of the deceased Suggest probable involvement in the drug trade.
Experience teaches that these airport episodes Often repercuss on the hill, particularly on that section known as little Lima.
Item eight.
You're reminded, as if reminders are necessary, that the mcb continues current On the governor's wife's beloved lhasa apso lamont.
Whoo, whoo, whoo! The subject is male, sand-colored coat.
Distinguishings are bulging brown eyes And a blue bow in the forelock.
People, the more timely this canine's recovery, the more expeditious will be this precinct's Return to appropriate police pursuits.
A personal plea from your sergeant.
Please, please.
Let's find the damn dog.
Item nine.
In view of seasonal and flu-related absences, temporary assignments are as follows: Crawford and Nicholas, Hernandez and wykopf, mersky and deutsch.
On a more somber note.
Item 11.
Night duty sergeant devane records at 2300 hours An attack on foot patrolman Fred weiss.
Officer sustained a flesh wound to the right ankle, requiring eleven stitches.
A regiment of tetanus injections has been initiated.
Suspected perpetrator the hill phantom.
Ooh! It's clear we're witnessing one of those periods Of increased activity characteristic of this unfortunate individual's Haunted subterranean existence.
As we roll, therefore, it behooves us Not only to keep our heads up as appropriate But when we pass those storm drains and sewers Which are the intersection of this poor creature's world with our own, we'd best keep our eyes down as well.
All right.
That's it.
Let's roll.
And let's be very careful out there.
Belker.
Will you step to the podium for a second? Would you do me a monumental favor, Mick? Sure.
You know where katzenbach jewelers is? Yeah.
Could you pick something up for me? I'm chained to the desk with this dog business.
I got a couple reports.
How 'bout after lunch? Sure.
Perfect.
What the hell is it, the hope diamond? You must have two weeks' pay in here.
Keep a secret? Yeah.
It's an engagement ring.
I'm poppin' the question tonight to grace gardner.
Sarge! Dispatch.
We have a 9-11.
Armed robbery in progress.
See surplus store, corner people's drive, 124th street.
Yes.
I'll give him the message directly.
Yes? Excuse me.
Yes, um Would you know where I might find officer renko, please? Yes, he's just around the corner to the left.
Thank you.
Morning, Phil.
Morning, Francis.
Francis, that was the coroner's office.
They just exhumed the castaneda body.
Autopsy's at 9:15.
Thanks.
Francis You keep a secret? Sure.
I'm asking for grace's hand tonight.
Phil, that's wonderful news.
Mum's the word until I get an acceptance.
You upset about something when you left the party? No.
How was wilt? Doug.
Did you have a good time? Yeah.
He's a nice kid.
Where'd you meet him, at a day care center? Someday I should figure out how much time I spend waiting for renko By this bench.
He'll be right out.
Thanks.
Here comes the man.
Hi there, sweetmeat.
What're you doing up in these mean streets? Good morning.
Um, I'll just wait for you outside.
Bye.
Good morning.
I I need to talk to you for a couple of minutes, please.
Sure.
What can I do for you? Well, there's Really no easy way to say this.
I don't think we should see each other anymore.
- Is that right? - Yes, it is.
Would you mind telling me why? Does it really make any difference? Yeah, it does.
It does.
I mean, I I thought We did have that little set-to at that gallery opening With your high-and-mighty friends, but Yeah, it does make a difference.
Tell me.
We're just too different.
We Wait a minute.
We're not too different two or three times a week for the last two months.
There's a lot of things I could say Say 'em.
- What's the point? - Say 'em.
What's the point? I don't like your bullying.
I don't like your reverse snobbery.
- Bullying.
- Yeah.
Forcing me to do things, like making me take a drink I don't want.
That was at a party.
Just so I can be one of the guys? Your attitude about women, the way you treat me like an object And your whole stupid idea that the only real people are people who sweat for a living! You don't have the slightest idea what i think about women! Don't tell me what to do! What are we doing? Andrew.
I liked you.
I I still like you a lot.
I There's no reason to pretend that we had more than we had.
There's no point making this more difficult than it already is.
Right.
You're right.
No sweat.
No pain.
Just chic, polite.
- I'm sorry.
- You get out.
I need a pen.
Hello.
How you doing? Um look, I'm sorry about last night.
I Don't don't worry about it.
I just talked to Andrew.
We're not going to be seeing each other anymore.
So, um, if you want, we We can get together some time.
Teresa, that's not a good idea right now.
Look, I gotta go.
Can I call you? I don't know.
I'll see you, okay? What are you doing here? Didn't I tell you never to come up h What's wrong? Mick I'm so frightened.
I'm so afraid! He killed those Peruvians! My god, Mick! He was covered in blood.
Calm down.
Tell me what happened.
He came home around 4:30.
That's your boyfriend.
Jose.
The one that bailed you out when i first busted you? No.
That was Ramon.
I watched him burn his clothes, wash the blood off.
My god, he was soaked in blood! Take it easy.
And then when I saw those pictures, the bodies in the car, Mick! The boyfriend's been setting up the deal for two months.
Now he loses his bankroll, so he decides to take the Peruvian suppliers.
He meets 'em at the airport and blows 'em away.
I'd say our $50 yesterday was well spent.
Captain, I promised Eddie he wouldn't have to testify.
He's terrified of that lover.
He'd be next to useless on the witness stand anyway.
Let's have him go over the mug books, see if he can identify anybody who's done business with the boyfriend.
We'll try to bust him and roll him over.
Autopsy, frank.
Keep ray posted.
Dog hotline.
When was this? Yeah.
Yeah.
Who am I speaking to? Yes, Mr.
Caldwell.
$1,000.
No That's very scrupulous of you.
After the recovery'd be fine.
Let me just get this one more time.
It's 466 carmine, apartment 2A, right? Thank you much, Mr.
Caldwell.
Doggie hotline.
Any luck, Henry? Lhasa apso in abandoned apartment.
Guy doesn't want to be paid until after the governor's wife identifies the dog.
Great.
Howard.
This is a white male, five-seven, 158 pounds, 47 years old.
Exhumed 22 days after Interment.
Superficial tissue.
Unremarkable.
Exhibits first stage of decomposition Consistent with introduction Preservation fluid.
Wally.
Castaneda was 47 years old.
Isn't that what we've got? Yes, sir.
This man is not 47.
Well, see, frank He's been underground three weeks Come on, Wally! This guy's in his 70s.
Check the toe tag.
Castaneda.
They dug him up this morning.
Some kinda screwup! What in the hell's going on here? Frank.
Frank, I'll I'll get the right body for you.
Seventy-two hour rule, coroner nydorf: Either I charge or we release.
Is he dead or what? Come on, pal.
Come on.
No snoozing in a red zone.
Pete! Pete! Pete! Officer tataglia.
Is something wrong? It was the phantom.
Grabbed her leg from a storm drain on dekker.
Just about tore it off.
Imadre Mia! He got my shoe.
Shoes? Ooh.
A new and disconcerting twist.
The phantom? Yeah.
I got him a good one with my stick.
I think I hurt him.
Speaking of injuries, officer tataglia, perhaps we should have that ankle x-rayed.
No, no.
He didn't even break the skin.
I'm okay.
Honest.
Phil, call a.
D.
A.
Bernstein.
Tell him I have to get with him this afternoon.
Anything wrong with the autopsy? Other than a no-show by the body, it was just grand.
Washington.
Yo, man.
I got a snitch.
Picked these dealers out of the book.
You know any of 'em? Nada.
Nada.
Nada.
Sid.
Sid.
You tight with this guy? We were about to bust him when myzell went south.
He thinks we're a couple of cupcakes.
Can you set me up a meet today? I got a hook on those three Peruvians.
Just a phone call away, my man.
Thank you very much.
You got it.
Frank.
I don't know if this is the right dog or the wrong dog.
But it is definitely the last dog that I am going to recover.
Francis, a.
D.
A.
Bernstein can see you this afternoon.
But he'd like you to include everyone on the Edwards case Washington, larue, coroner nydorf.
Phil, one second, please.
Could you take our charge here Somewhere where he can be reunited with his owner? Well, of course! Come here, poochie.
That's a good fella.
For the record, frank, in my entire career, I've never suffered a more humiliating indignity.
Frank I was urinated on.
Be sure to submit a dry-cleaning voucher, Howard.
Damn foreign-type dogs.
Give me a Shepherd any day.
Yo, Mr.
policeman.
Martinez requesting a viewing of the alleged Lasso apsis lamont, which I have a personal knowledge is a fraud.
Bogus, Henry.
Fake.
Not even close.
What makes you say so, Jesus? Trust me, Henry.
Trust me.
The dog's a Hummer.
That is not lamont.
This is a bitch.
Didn't you even sex the animal? Did I explore the dog's privates? No, madam.
I denied myself that pleasure.
But I can certainly attest to the fact that they are in working order.
I'd like a word with you.
Of course.
I myself don't know who has the mutt.
I don't have the slightest idea where the mutt is at.
But I think maybe I know somebody who knows somebody else who knows.
You know? Don't push your luck, Jesus.
Cool it, brother.
I'm just a concerned citizen here.
- I could have you arrested as an accessory.
- Yeah, maybe.
But I don't think lamont would like that.
- Why don't we hear him out? - Thank you, Frankie.
You're always a gentleman.
Like I said The mutt's available.
But it's gonna require a thousand dollars for the people he's staying with.
And what is your cut? Me? Got no cut, bro.
Bottom line, Jesus.
Right now.
I got a proposal with the federals for the inner city pilot program.
We must put a stop to this urban decay.
Right, brother ray? We must harness the energy Of the troubled gang youth.
Get 'em off the corner and on the job.
Captain.
Speed it up.
The rebop kings in Washington are always talking about revenue sharing, right? Funneling the conscience money Through the state capitols and all of that.
When Trudy's main squeeze gets me the Grant, she gets lamont.
That's out-and-out blackmail! Sounds to me like a good faith request for a recommendation? You tell Trudy it's blackmail.
You're just jiving us, aren't you, wise guy? You don't know where the dog is.
You're lying like all the others.
Well, I will make sure that you never, never "I-a- m" let me see that.
I hear these guys are pretty tough, furillo.
They wanted to send lamont's paw as a token of friendship.
Okay.
I'll see the governor gives you a priority recommendation.
Hey! Recommendations are for job applicants.
I want a Grant.
Otherwise, these guys are gonna fillet lamont And mail him home in an envelope.
When will the dog be returned? I'll get back to ya.
Hey, we're on, babe.
3:00 sharp.
Hasen's restaurant.
Sid likes to sit in the back.
Great.
Gives me a chance to run an errand.
See you there.
Yeah.
Grace, my sweet our favorite restaurant, our favorite wine, Venus sitting over the water.
I think tonight's gonna be a night That you and I will long remember.
One more shoe, pizza man.
We're due back on the hill in 15 minutes.
What are you doing? The furillo diet plenty of exercise And no time left for lunch.
We can munch on these in the cab.
Gee, thanks.
Frank! - Fay.
- Um - U-this is Paul.
- How are you? Joyce.
Judge grogin of traffic court.
Guilty.
Well, Paul We seem to have made a terrible mistake.
The rainbow room's not on this floor.
- Is it? - No? I think you want the 18th.
Well, what floor is this? Three.
We We we were just leaving.
Enjoy your lunch.
They have very good food here.
I have a cold.
We really have to go.
- It's nice meeting you.
- Nice meeting you too.
Have a nice lunch.
May I help you? Yeah.
I got a ring to pick up.
Esterhaus.
Esterhaus? I don't believe I know the name.
- Do you have a sales slip? - Yes, I do.
Yes.
The half-carat midnight jubilee.
Just a moment, please.
No smoking here.
I believe there's a balance remaining of $400.
Yeah.
I got it right here.
You want to step back, please? Come on, move back.
I'm I'm I'm all right.
You sure? Yeah, I'm positive.
I'm I'm fine.
I'm fine.
I just need some fresh air.
I'm fine.
Thank you.
You sure you're all right.
I'm fine.
Okay.
I'm sorry.
Thank you.
Well.
Hey, you hold it! Move!! Police! Freeze! Where's the ring, dirtbag? I want that ring! Sit down, armpit, or I'll eat your lungs for lunch.
Who's the suspect, Mick? Hi sarge.
I caught him taking a five-finger discount Down at katzenbach's jewelry store.
No kidding.
Right when you were down there picking up the ring? Yeah.
Him and another guy.
Well, where's the other one? Well, he kinda got away.
I gotta talk to you about something, sarge.
What'd they get? A bunch of bracelets, earrings, watches, rings.
Lotta rings.
Rings? Yeah, well, I mean, sure.
Rings.
Kinda.
That's what I gotta talk to you about, sarge.
Where's my ring? I think the other guy got it.
Excuse me, Mick.
Young man, I intend to interrogate you personally forthwith.
I don't say nothin' without my attorney, man.
Maybe I oughta stick with you on this, sarge.
I got constitutional rights.
Miss Davenport.
A moment of your time, please.
Mr.
crane, concerning the ring in question.
I believe you might find it advisable From a negotiating point of view, as it were You're coming dangerously close to unconstitutional coercion, sergeant.
Miss Davenport.
It was his engagement ring.
He was gonna ask grace gardner to marry him tonight.
Mr.
crane, please comprehend that I don't give a damn Whether you ultimately receive a jail term or not.
- I've got a phone call to make.
- Hey, wait a minute.
You ain't leaving! Unless you feel like giving over the name of your running mate, you insidious little termite, I may be forced to do something That I haven't done in many years.
Herman Fowler.
337 maplecrest.
- What's that name again? - Herman Fowler.
337 maplecrest.
Fourth floor.
Room 49.
Right next to the trash chute.
Mick.
I believe coffey and bates are available for an arrest.
Because I just don't feel right about it, that's why.
Tonight? No way.
Look, I'm sorry.
I can't.
Yo, Joseph.
We got a felony trash pickup on maplecrest.
Sarge says pronto.
One second.
Look, I gotta go.
I'll get back to you later, okay? Right.
Sorry I'm late, guys.
But we have a bit of a problem.
What kind of problem, Wally? Did you find castaneda's body? No.
Castaneda's body is n.
R - Nonretrievable.
- What do you mean, nonretrievable? Look, I'm really very sorry about this, guys, but Frank, you know that wrong stiff we had on the slab this morning? Well, it seems that he was a John Doe we scraped up off the streets in skid row The same day castaneda died.
Then the way I figure it, we got the toe tags mixed up on the two guys by mistake.
Frank, I'm embarrassed about this, but it happens.
Course, the Upshot of it is that Well, look, frank, we would never cremate a homicide, but We do cremate bums.
So castaneda was cremated? I'm afraid you're out one victim.
Man! I don't believe this! We put in over a hundred hours building the case, you lame, incompetent J.
D.
Neal.
Don't you have some business to attend to outside? Right.
Yeah.
Sure.
Just for the record, Wally, I'd have to agree with larue's evaluation of your abilities.
Now you just stow it, frank! I'm not one of your departmental stooges around here! Wally, Wally, frank, please.
Let's try to figure a way to deal with this mess.
No cause of death.
No murder case.
That's how I've always understood the law.
Well, technically, yes.
I see no reason to continue this meeting.
Unless it's to discuss the immediate release of our suspect.
Look, frank.
I'm as sorry about this as anybody in this room.
But, frank, I've gone over the crime lab photos, and believe me, there is nothing mysterious about how castaneda died.
Hell, I could describe the cause of death in my sleep! Come on, Wally.
That's not nearly good enough.
I submit a report.
I talk a couple minutes on tracheal blockage.
And then the defense attorney Starts a line-by-line cross-examination of the autopsy report.
Wait a minute, frank.
Let's not be hasty.
You would be amazed how informal these prelims can get With regard to cause of death.
We get past the hearing, maybe we can get a plea out of Edwards.
And what if he blows it up there? Look, frank, it's a bad situation, but Wally is making some sense.
Let me talk this out with the d.
A.
I'll get back to both of you.
No, it's good to meet you, Lee.
It's a real pleasure.
No, no.
It's my pleasure.
Look, you guys want anything to eat here, chips or hot stuff? Yeah, thanks.
No.
Wanna try the wine? That great wine? Hey, I'm on the wagon.
Only dope.
So, you are Teddy and Steve's amigo.
Yeah.
For a long time.
They're good people.
Even if they are too busy for their uncle sid here.
Yeah.
Hey, come on, you bums.
I haven't heard squat one from you in two weeks.
Hey! Hey, we went skiing, baby.
Yeah, down in dade county.
Hey, I tell you what.
The powder was deep.
Listen, I gotta tell you, Lee.
Did you tell him the story what? Let me tell the story.
I felt terrible with these two.
I'm movin' these two a little soda Just a couple pounds And another guy who I'm also movin' Turns out to be the heat.
No.
So boom! No.
Somebody kills him.
Tch, tch, tch.
Now, evidently, these two guys got a little scared Which I don't blame them Because the next day they call me, and they're in Atlantic city.
That's the only place he could pass for Italian.
Hey, watch it, man.
And this guy.
This guy's too much.
He's always making jokes.
Man, I love him.
And you.
You.
Come here.
Come on.
Try it.
You want one on there? Try it.
I wouldn't do it.
Last time I saw you, you had a collar like the budweiser horse.
I got it from the horse.
It was a little insurance gift.
Did you make out on that? Pocket change.
You know.
So we all right here or what? Yeah.
Absolutely.
Listen.
When are we gonna do a little business? We a little short right now, babe.
We've just been moving some copper wire.
Soon as we get off it, we're back in action, okay? Okay.
But don't forget your uncle.
Hey, never.
I also wanna tighten you up for this introduction here.
Forget it.
No.
I'm gonna do it.
Hey, not necessary.
Take care? - Easy.
- All right.
Later.
So.
So, I, I told the fellas I was lookin' for a little stuff.
I'm exclusively soda, Lee.
Can i call you Lee? Absolutely.
Okay.
I'm soda.
Exclusively.
Well, good.
'Cause that's my action too.
Now, um, how much weight were you lookin' for? I'm lookin' to do Kilos? Pounds.
There's no problem with if-come, am I right, Lee? Because Cash on delivery.
'Cause we're taking about 100% Peruvian soda.
Nobody has stepped on this.
I'm I'm gettin' $30,000 per unit.
When can we do this? Well, I gotta tell ya.
This is such a coincidence, because i happen to be in a position.
How's tomorrow look for you? Tomorrow couldn't be better for me.
You're a citizen, Lee.
You're just who Steve and Teddy'd bring along.
Thank you very much.
Sure you won't try the wine? Yeah.
I'll have a little.
Good.
'Cause I think you're gonna like it.
I think they get it in California.
He got my purse! He grabbed it! He got my purse! Who took your purse? That creep! He ran in the sewer! Okay, okay.
Calm down.
Can you give us a description? Description? Yeah.
Sugar, he looked like something that somebody left in their refrigerator for six months! - What's the trouble here? - It's the phantom.
Well, are you gonna go down there and get my purse back or what? Throw down the light.
They're inside, babe.
Hey, listen.
Don't spring it too soon, okay? Hey, what, and spoil my fun? I own these four bozos for the rest of the afternoon.
Listen, guys.
If he's lived down here for years, he must know every inch of this place.
- Nice thought.
- Maybe we ought to wait for backup.
And say what when they show up, we were too scared of the dark to go in by ourselves? Come on.
What are you doing? I don't know.
I think I tripped on something.
It's mine.
Will you look at that? That creep must have chewed it.
What was that? Down there.
Man, no, no! Hello, Teresa? Yeah, this is Andy.
Listen, I'm sorry about this morning.
Listen, I gotta see you tonight.
It's real important.
There's a lotta things I gotta talk to you about.
Is that so? You sure don't waste any time, do you, girl? All of a sudden, art delgado comes outta the sewer rafter.
No, no, no.
Wait, wait.
He's got a bullhorn full of compressed air, two dead rats hanging from his Two dead rats hanging from his ears.
Okay? I'm terrified! But I got the joke.
I laughed.
I didn't pull my service revolver and try to blow his head off.
You know? What? Hi, sharpshot.
Pretty rough day today? You jiving me? Almost killed your partner.
Wanna talk it out? I went crazy.
I choked.
I don't even remember pulling my gun.
And now you figure you don't have what it takes to be a cop.
Maybe it's lucky I found out now.
Saves me a lotta time.
Maybe.
I oughta quit.
I'm a coward.
Good idea.
Hey.
What? Maybe you oughta lighten up on the guy, Mr.
kelp suit.
Yeah.
That's right.
I'll bet you're just dyin' To go ride with him again tomorrow.
That's none of your business.
Ya got hair, kid.
You're all right.
Well, it must have been something that got you through the academy.
Must have been something that made you want to be a cop.
Would you believe dreams of a desk job? No, I don't.
It's happened even to a veteran cop.
Things get confused.
He fires his gun at an innocent person I don't want to talk about it anymore.
Two months ago I shot and killed an innocent man.
You did? Two guys coming out of a liquor store holdup.
One pointed a shotgun at me.
I fired.
He owned the store.
Man.
Lotta sleepless nights between then and now.
Lotta questions.
All of us on the job, we all live with your kind of doubts.
Five days out of every seven.
Questions that there just aren't any answers to.
Look, Nate, I'm not saying that you're meant to be a cop, but if you decide that's what you wanna do, then you better learn to live with 'em too, man.
Something something to think about anyway, okay? Okay.
Mick? What? I can't do it.
Do what? Stay with Jose tonight.
I'm afraid of him.
Of what he did.
Every time I close my eyes, I see those charred Peruvians.
It's horrible.
I can't.
So don't.
Just whatever you do, make sure he thinks it's an ordinary night, will you, please? Go on.
Scram.
Beat it.
I have no place to go.
I was wondering if maybe, I could stay with you.
Are you nuts? You and me, in together? Absolutely not.
Wait a minute.
Go get yourself a room.
Come here.
Sleep on the sofa.
Mick.
You're wonderful.
I'll make you a breakfast fit for a king.
You make me breakfast, I'll ram it down your throat.
Do you understand that? You're such a treasure.
Phil.
Grace! My god.
Aren't you early? Well, you said 6:00 sharp.
You were quite adamant on that point, as I recall.
You sounded so mysterious.
Do you have something special in mind for this evening? No, no, no.
Not really.
Well.
Yes.
There was gonna be something special, but if you have another plan in mind Anything, darling.
Just as long as it's with you.
My god.
I don't deserve you, grace.
- Sarge.
Here's your ring.
- Thanks, Joseph.
Ring? Grace, um I've never been at a loss for words until now.
Phil.
For me? Well, perhaps it's not the most elegant surroundings, but Will you marry me, grace? Phil.
I don't know what to say.
Well, say yes.
Excuse me, Francis.
Can I have a moment of your time? Sure, Phil.
She said no to me, Francis.
Grace? I'm sorry.
She said I don't even know what she said.
She said that we didn't need to get married.
What the hell does that mean? Maybe she's a free spirit.
I wanted children, Francis.
I'm not getting any younger.
You gonna go on seeing her? I don't know.
I oughta make a clean break.
Well, if you don't need me anymore Sure.
Take off.
You know, it seems the phantom struck, today Under dekker Avenue.
Seems young Crawford overreacted somewhat And discharged his weapon at point-blank range.
He missed.
That gag should have been retired a long time ago, Phil.
Tomorrow let's put Crawford with Bobby hill, okay? Yeah.
That's a good idea.
Well If you don't need me anymore? Phil, how how 'bout if I buy you a beer? That'd be nice, Francis.
So You really are a very nice man, Joe coffey.
Yeah.
I'm a regular prince.
When can I see you again? I'll call ya, okay? Okay.