Marvel's Guardians Of The Galaxy (2015) s03e10 Episode Script
Happy Together
1 [PANTING.]
[YOWLING.]
Hey, Mac! What are you doing? People gotta work over here! [YELLING.]
Hey! Hey! Get back here! Whoa! [GRUNTS.]
[GRUNTING.]
[VEHICLE HORNS HONKING.]
No, you aren't getting away that easy.
[HORN BLARING.]
[GROANS.]
This is not the way to contest your parking tickets, Quill.
Oh, come on, Dey.
The meter just ran out.
Never heard that one before.
All right, fine.
[THUD.]
I can't pay my parking tickets, okay? I'm broke.
[LAUGHS.]
Not even you could blow an entire fortune in a week.
Seriously, you blew an entire fortune in a week? Hey, you know what? I saved the galaxy, like, a dozen times.
So, technically, you owe me your life.
And technically, you owe the Xandarian Parking Bureau 200 units.
You can pick up the Milano at the impound yard after you pay.
[GRUNTING.]
[SIGHS.]
I'm broke, I'm alone, and I lost my ride.
Eh.
But I still got my tunes.
[DISTORTED WHINE.]
Aw! [GROANS.]
I seriously hate this galaxy.
[TECHNO.]
[QUILL.]
Okay, just act cool.
No one needs to know you're broke.
Word to the wise, Quill.
Finish your drink before you mutter about being broke.
What? Where'd you hear that? I never said I was broke.
And don't you repeat it, especially to them.
But, you know, make sure you give them the check.
[CONTINUES.]
[DOOR BELLS JINGLE.]
[BELCHES.]
[ROCKET.]
Whoa! Give me two of what he's having.
Rocket! Groot! What?! Great to see ya! Why? You need units? Me? No.
Why? Do you need units? [FAKE LAUGH.]
I am Groot.
Units? [FAKE LAUGHING.]
No way! Like Groot said, we're both still super-rich.
Really, Rocket? 'Cause that's a pretty fake laugh for such a rich guy.
It's real.
Ha ha ha! Ha ha! I've heard more authentic laughter from Thanos.
Gamora! It's Gamora! Hey! Did I mention how much I missed your perceptive wit? [BELCHES.]
Just like you two lovebirds to gang up on poor defenseless me.
[TOGETHER.]
We are not lovebirds.
I am Groot? Hmm, uh [GRUNTS.]
[GRUNTS, CLEARS THROAT.]
You can shout all you like, but I do not answer to the name Drax the Destroyer.
Also, I am on a break.
Why are your faces turning a reddish hue? What? No, they're not.
Your face is Why are you wearing an apron? It turns out that heroics cost far more than destroying.
You know what else costs? Your drinks.
Time to pay up.
I, uh You know what? I think I left my unit tablet in my other fur.
Guess this round's on you, Quill.
[LAUGHS.]
Yeah.
The Well, the thing is, well [PATRON.]
Put it on my bill.
Howard! How ya been, ya old quacker? What, hanging around with this knothead wasn't enough? You had to get more loser sidekicks? You closely resemble a creature I once saw being auctioned off.
That's 'cause I was auctioned off.
And imagine my surprise when my fellow outlaw Rocket didn't raise a paw to stop it.
'Cause who'd wanna pay for you, am I right, Howard? You'd be surprised.
[LAUGHING.]
I'm just krutackin' with ya.
You were only following the Outlaw Code.
[LAUGHS.]
Oh, get a load of this duck.
Who here has heard of an Outlaw Code? Who here's heard of a duck? Wha Seriously? The Outlaw Code is followed by the worst scoundrels in the galaxy.
So what do you want? It ain't what I want.
It's what you losers need.
Namely, a job.
I am Groot.
Aw, don't tell me the knothead's still mad about that time I put termites in his terrarium.
Nah.
Groot always forgives.
I am Groot! He just never forgets, on account of his photosynthetic memory.
- Now, tell us about this job.
- [QUILL.]
We'll take it! I mean, uh, we will at least hear you out.
Oh, the gig's quick and easy, but it'll take all of ya's.
Some smugglers crash-landed in Kallusian space with a certain item in their cargo.
They had to ditch said item, but now they want it back.
What do you say? No.
Absolutely not.
I am Groot.
Well, if that's the consensus Guys, guys, guys! Ain't we being a little hasty here? Okay, I didn't want to admit this, but Quill's completely broke! No, I'm not.
You're broke! If you guys really wanna be heroes, save Quill by doing this job and giving him your share of the units.
I don't need units! [DRAX.]
But Drax does.
My current employment is hardly sufficient for paying off my debts.
Also, dish washing chafes my fingers.
I'm in.
But this is a one-and-done deal.
Doesn't mean we're getting back together.
Well, technically, I mean, we were never together Oh, wait.
Oh, you meant the team.
Okay, all right, fine.
You know what? I'll do it.
But not because I need the units.
I am Groot! Come on, bud.
I Uh, you need those units.
Please? [SIGHS.]
Great! Here are the ship's last known coordinates and the item's energy signature.
Half payment up front, half when you deliver.
Thought you left that in your other fur.
Yeah, we're way past that, Quill.
Now rev up the Milano, and let's get going.
Yeah, okay, about that [BRAKES HISS.]
[ROCKET.]
You losers remember how to do this? We haven't been split up that long.
- It's just like riding a bicycle.
- Agreed.
What is a bicycle? [GAMORA.]
And why didn't you just pay your parking fines? - 'Cause I ca I won't, on principle.
- Can I help you? [MUFFLED GRUNTING.]
You didn't see nothin'.
[HEAVY EQUIPMENT ENGINE WHIRRING.]
Such senseless destruction.
I think I'm in love.
[QUILL.]
Yeah, well, too bad.
'Cause the object of your affection is about to crush our ship.
Fear not.
I will pilot the Milano to safety.
What? Drax, no! You're a terrible pilot! [ROCKET.]
Groot, help me take out that tether! I am Groot.
What do you mean, "Ask Howard to do it"? Don't tell me you're still mad at him.
I am Groot! Ugh! I never should've agreed to this job.
Groot, stop Drax.
The rest of us will disable the tether.
[GRUNTS.]
Drax will not be defeated by a primitive theft-prevention device! - I am Groot, I am Groot, I am Groot! - Ha! [ENGINE REVVING.]
[RUMBLING, CRACKLING.]
[QUILL SHOUTS.]
What's going on up there? We're being driven by a nine-foot tree and a guy who can't figure out how to put on a shirt! Take a guess! [HEAVY EQUIPMENT CLANKING.]
Uh, guys, I don't think that's our biggest concern.
[ALL YELL.]
[ALL YELL.]
- I am Groot! - [GRUNTS.]
It is not my fault! This device will only allow me to turn left! [LAUGHING.]
Quill continues to be wrong.
Drax is an excellent pilot.
[MANIACAL LAUGHTER.]
[ENGINE REVVING.]
Quill, I said keep the red wires out of my way! They're all red wires! Some are more red than others.
Groot could tell the difference! - Then go get Groot! - I'll get him! Anything's better than listening to you two bicker.
[GROANS.]
We never should've gotten the team back together.
[ALARM BEEPING.]
Drax, slow down! Groot, go help Rocket.
I am Groot! Fear not.
Drax will evade our pursuer.
By turning left! Cut us loose! Cut us loose! Behold, I am Drax the Maker of Left Turns! You're also Drax the Forgetful.
Hey, wait for us! [WIND HOWLING.]
[QUILL.]
Okay, maybe this time we don't split up.
In case some people leave you hanging, [THUNDERCLAP.]
literally, in the middle of a mission! I am Groot! What did I do? [CLANKING.]
[MECHANICAL WHIRRING.]
[GRUNTING.]
Is this sticking close enough together for you? [YELLS.]
Or would you like me to hold your hand? [GRUNTS.]
I believe he would.
I don't know what's more annoying those two or Mr.
Pouty Face here.
[GRUNTS.]
I am Groot.
I do not like Howard better than you! Now, how's about we focus on what we came here for? [BEEPING.]
The signal's coming from right behind this door.
[GRUNTS.]
[BEEPING HASTENS.]
[LOUD BEEP.]
Don't touch it! I think Howard I am Groot! [ALARM BLARING.]
I was going to say, "I think Howard might have underestimated the level of security on this ship.
" I am Groot.
[ROCKET.]
Aw, krutack! That's Halan Skin Fog! [QUILL.]
That sounds bad.
Is it bad? [ROCKET.]
Only if you like having skin.
[ALARM CONTINUES BLARING.]
Your feathered friend set us up.
I am Groot! No.
No way Howard did this.
It's against the code! Yeah, I'm really starting to hate this code.
[WIND HOWLING.]
[THUNDERCLAP.]
[GROANS.]
Whatever this is, it's not worth the units.
It's staying here.
No way! I need those units! You know, for you guys.
Fine.
I admit it.
I'm broke.
I only did this for the units, and maybe because I missed you guys.
Some of you, anyway.
- Ah.
Clearly, he means - I know who he means.
Ha! I knew it! And I ain't leaving this till I see what's in [YELLING.]
[THUNDERCLAP.]
[GAMORA.]
That's the symbol of the Kree.
[QUILL.]
As in Ronan the Accuser's Kree? Ruthless warmongers Kree? Yes, that Kree.
Unless there is another Kree I am unaware of.
I am Groot! Aah! [GRUNTING.]
No, Howard did not throw us to the Kree.
He ain't like that.
Hey! [YELLS.]
Broke or not, we are not getting mixed up with the Kree.
I'm putting this thing back now.
Why? The Kree'll come after us anyway.
[YELLS.]
We should finish the job, take the units, and run.
[FEMALE VOICE.]
Interesting plan.
I do anticipate one problem, though.
I am Kree Accuser Phyla-Vell.
And there's nowhere to run.
[THUNDER RUMBLING.]
Now give me the case and surrender.
If you're an Accuser, how come you don't have one of those hammer thingies? Okay, never mind.
I won't ask again.
[DRAX YELLS.]
[GRUNTS.]
The code says to never surrender.
What are you talking about? The code says always surrender and find a way out later.
Just like old times, right? [GRUNTING.]
Aahh! [GRUNTS.]
Get to the Milano! Go! Aah! [ALL CRY OUT.]
I am Groot! [GRUNTS.]
Whoa! [GRUNTS.]
No! [STRAINING.]
Aahh! [GROANS.]
She doesn't want to hurt the case.
Stand back, or I'll torch this thing! You have no idea what's in there, do you? Nope.
But I have it and you don't.
So drop your sword.
[GRUNTS.]
Go! Now! [MILANO'S ENGINE REVS.]
[HOWARD.]
So, you losers actually got it.
Color me surprised.
We're about to color you taxidermied, so tell us what this thing is and why a Kree Accuser wants it so badly.
Howard, you and me go way back, but Quill's right.
Ya gotta tell me what's in this case.
So the knothead couldn't pry it open with his little twigs, could he? I am Groot! Now, don't get your foliage in a bunch.
I'll tell you everything you need to know at the drop site.
Sending the coordinates now.
- I am Groot! - What? If we don't like his answer, we can beat him up after we get the units.
[THUNDERCLAP.]
[WIND HOWLING.]
Rocket.
Idiot.
Other idiots.
I am Groot! Oh, relax.
Howard's just being Howard.
He don't mean nothin' by it.
Where's the case? We left it on the ship, as per the code.
Code says I can't hand over the units till you hand over the case.
Code also says I can't hand over the case till you hand over the units.
Ugh! Okay, let me guess.
Code also says you gotta haggle.
[TOGETHER.]
Uh, duh.
[THUNDERCLAP.]
Code don't say nothing about that.
[YELLS.]
You just added 11 additional charges to your rap sheets.
You wanna surrender, or go for an even dozen? [COUGHING.]
Drop your weapons before I turn you all into one big, smoking crater.
[GRUNTS.]
[RESTRAINT DEVICES CLICKING.]
Uh, where's Howard? - I am Groot! - Don't be ridiculous.
Howard's got his own ship.
Why would he steal ours? Because he's also stealing the item on board! [ENGINE POWERING UP.]
What? Let us go! We gotta go after him! No one is going anywhere.
Eyes on me, and everyone listen.
Guardians of the Galaxy, you stand accused of trespassing, breaking and entering, resisting an Accuser, and stealing a classified asset from the Kree Empire.
Uh, technically, the duck in our ship is still stealing said asset.
I do not know what a duck is.
But as soon as I've dealt with you, I will personally hunt down your accomplice and retrieve what's ours with extreme prejudice! Now hold out your hands.
Don't worry.
I'll have us out of jail before we even get jumpsuits.
And, thanks to Howard, we'll still have half our units.
That krutackin', double-crossin' birdbrain! Reneging on a payment ain't part of the code! The only code I care about is the Kree Code of Justice.
[RUMBLING.]
The volcano is reigniting.
It doesn't feel any hotter.
Maybe it's just settling.
[YELLS.]
Or it's an acid volcano! Why can't we ever just have a regular volcano? [ROCKET.]
Howard wants to steal our ship? Then we'll steal his.
[BEEPING.]
I am Groot! [GROANS.]
I am Groot! So the Accuser's hurt.
She was trying to hurt us, if you remember! [SIGHS.]
I just want it on record that this goes against every code I've ever heard of.
But ain't no code worth more than my best bud.
[SIGHS.]
Get the ship running.
Me and Groot gotta do something really krutackin' stupid! Ohh! That's kind of our thing! Good luck.
[GROWLS.]
She better find Howard and beat the feathers off him! I am Groot! [GRUNTING.]
We got her! Go, go, go! Okay, I may may have been wrong about Howard.
I am Groot.
[SIGHS.]
And I really do need the units.
[QUILL.]
Called it! But coming back together as a team ain't been all bad.
Just, like, 98% bad.
I would say 80% or less.
I am Groot.
[GRUNTING.]
We are clearly better together.
On a strictly professional level, of course.
[GROANS.]
[GASPS.]
Where am I? You are on a ship.
We saved you.
[QUILL.]
Because we're heroes.
And now that we know that, I bet we all learned a valuable lesson about not judging or arresting people too soon.
I couldn't agree more.
You idiots really are heroes.
But that in no way changes my job.
A Kree Accuser never releases a prisoner.
However, I will recommend that once you are found guilty, your execution is swift.
Oh, come on! Hmph! Best bud or not, next time, I'm leaving her in the volcano.
I am Groot.
I gotta ask, why all the fuss? If you just wanted whatever's in this case, why'd you make me ditch the Guardians in the volcano? Because they broke my things.
[YOWLING.]
Hey, Mac! What are you doing? People gotta work over here! [YELLING.]
Hey! Hey! Get back here! Whoa! [GRUNTS.]
[GRUNTING.]
[VEHICLE HORNS HONKING.]
No, you aren't getting away that easy.
[HORN BLARING.]
[GROANS.]
This is not the way to contest your parking tickets, Quill.
Oh, come on, Dey.
The meter just ran out.
Never heard that one before.
All right, fine.
[THUD.]
I can't pay my parking tickets, okay? I'm broke.
[LAUGHS.]
Not even you could blow an entire fortune in a week.
Seriously, you blew an entire fortune in a week? Hey, you know what? I saved the galaxy, like, a dozen times.
So, technically, you owe me your life.
And technically, you owe the Xandarian Parking Bureau 200 units.
You can pick up the Milano at the impound yard after you pay.
[GRUNTING.]
[SIGHS.]
I'm broke, I'm alone, and I lost my ride.
Eh.
But I still got my tunes.
[DISTORTED WHINE.]
Aw! [GROANS.]
I seriously hate this galaxy.
[TECHNO.]
[QUILL.]
Okay, just act cool.
No one needs to know you're broke.
Word to the wise, Quill.
Finish your drink before you mutter about being broke.
What? Where'd you hear that? I never said I was broke.
And don't you repeat it, especially to them.
But, you know, make sure you give them the check.
[CONTINUES.]
[DOOR BELLS JINGLE.]
[BELCHES.]
[ROCKET.]
Whoa! Give me two of what he's having.
Rocket! Groot! What?! Great to see ya! Why? You need units? Me? No.
Why? Do you need units? [FAKE LAUGH.]
I am Groot.
Units? [FAKE LAUGHING.]
No way! Like Groot said, we're both still super-rich.
Really, Rocket? 'Cause that's a pretty fake laugh for such a rich guy.
It's real.
Ha ha ha! Ha ha! I've heard more authentic laughter from Thanos.
Gamora! It's Gamora! Hey! Did I mention how much I missed your perceptive wit? [BELCHES.]
Just like you two lovebirds to gang up on poor defenseless me.
[TOGETHER.]
We are not lovebirds.
I am Groot? Hmm, uh [GRUNTS.]
[GRUNTS, CLEARS THROAT.]
You can shout all you like, but I do not answer to the name Drax the Destroyer.
Also, I am on a break.
Why are your faces turning a reddish hue? What? No, they're not.
Your face is Why are you wearing an apron? It turns out that heroics cost far more than destroying.
You know what else costs? Your drinks.
Time to pay up.
I, uh You know what? I think I left my unit tablet in my other fur.
Guess this round's on you, Quill.
[LAUGHS.]
Yeah.
The Well, the thing is, well [PATRON.]
Put it on my bill.
Howard! How ya been, ya old quacker? What, hanging around with this knothead wasn't enough? You had to get more loser sidekicks? You closely resemble a creature I once saw being auctioned off.
That's 'cause I was auctioned off.
And imagine my surprise when my fellow outlaw Rocket didn't raise a paw to stop it.
'Cause who'd wanna pay for you, am I right, Howard? You'd be surprised.
[LAUGHING.]
I'm just krutackin' with ya.
You were only following the Outlaw Code.
[LAUGHS.]
Oh, get a load of this duck.
Who here has heard of an Outlaw Code? Who here's heard of a duck? Wha Seriously? The Outlaw Code is followed by the worst scoundrels in the galaxy.
So what do you want? It ain't what I want.
It's what you losers need.
Namely, a job.
I am Groot.
Aw, don't tell me the knothead's still mad about that time I put termites in his terrarium.
Nah.
Groot always forgives.
I am Groot! He just never forgets, on account of his photosynthetic memory.
- Now, tell us about this job.
- [QUILL.]
We'll take it! I mean, uh, we will at least hear you out.
Oh, the gig's quick and easy, but it'll take all of ya's.
Some smugglers crash-landed in Kallusian space with a certain item in their cargo.
They had to ditch said item, but now they want it back.
What do you say? No.
Absolutely not.
I am Groot.
Well, if that's the consensus Guys, guys, guys! Ain't we being a little hasty here? Okay, I didn't want to admit this, but Quill's completely broke! No, I'm not.
You're broke! If you guys really wanna be heroes, save Quill by doing this job and giving him your share of the units.
I don't need units! [DRAX.]
But Drax does.
My current employment is hardly sufficient for paying off my debts.
Also, dish washing chafes my fingers.
I'm in.
But this is a one-and-done deal.
Doesn't mean we're getting back together.
Well, technically, I mean, we were never together Oh, wait.
Oh, you meant the team.
Okay, all right, fine.
You know what? I'll do it.
But not because I need the units.
I am Groot! Come on, bud.
I Uh, you need those units.
Please? [SIGHS.]
Great! Here are the ship's last known coordinates and the item's energy signature.
Half payment up front, half when you deliver.
Thought you left that in your other fur.
Yeah, we're way past that, Quill.
Now rev up the Milano, and let's get going.
Yeah, okay, about that [BRAKES HISS.]
[ROCKET.]
You losers remember how to do this? We haven't been split up that long.
- It's just like riding a bicycle.
- Agreed.
What is a bicycle? [GAMORA.]
And why didn't you just pay your parking fines? - 'Cause I ca I won't, on principle.
- Can I help you? [MUFFLED GRUNTING.]
You didn't see nothin'.
[HEAVY EQUIPMENT ENGINE WHIRRING.]
Such senseless destruction.
I think I'm in love.
[QUILL.]
Yeah, well, too bad.
'Cause the object of your affection is about to crush our ship.
Fear not.
I will pilot the Milano to safety.
What? Drax, no! You're a terrible pilot! [ROCKET.]
Groot, help me take out that tether! I am Groot.
What do you mean, "Ask Howard to do it"? Don't tell me you're still mad at him.
I am Groot! Ugh! I never should've agreed to this job.
Groot, stop Drax.
The rest of us will disable the tether.
[GRUNTS.]
Drax will not be defeated by a primitive theft-prevention device! - I am Groot, I am Groot, I am Groot! - Ha! [ENGINE REVVING.]
[RUMBLING, CRACKLING.]
[QUILL SHOUTS.]
What's going on up there? We're being driven by a nine-foot tree and a guy who can't figure out how to put on a shirt! Take a guess! [HEAVY EQUIPMENT CLANKING.]
Uh, guys, I don't think that's our biggest concern.
[ALL YELL.]
[ALL YELL.]
- I am Groot! - [GRUNTS.]
It is not my fault! This device will only allow me to turn left! [LAUGHING.]
Quill continues to be wrong.
Drax is an excellent pilot.
[MANIACAL LAUGHTER.]
[ENGINE REVVING.]
Quill, I said keep the red wires out of my way! They're all red wires! Some are more red than others.
Groot could tell the difference! - Then go get Groot! - I'll get him! Anything's better than listening to you two bicker.
[GROANS.]
We never should've gotten the team back together.
[ALARM BEEPING.]
Drax, slow down! Groot, go help Rocket.
I am Groot! Fear not.
Drax will evade our pursuer.
By turning left! Cut us loose! Cut us loose! Behold, I am Drax the Maker of Left Turns! You're also Drax the Forgetful.
Hey, wait for us! [WIND HOWLING.]
[QUILL.]
Okay, maybe this time we don't split up.
In case some people leave you hanging, [THUNDERCLAP.]
literally, in the middle of a mission! I am Groot! What did I do? [CLANKING.]
[MECHANICAL WHIRRING.]
[GRUNTING.]
Is this sticking close enough together for you? [YELLS.]
Or would you like me to hold your hand? [GRUNTS.]
I believe he would.
I don't know what's more annoying those two or Mr.
Pouty Face here.
[GRUNTS.]
I am Groot.
I do not like Howard better than you! Now, how's about we focus on what we came here for? [BEEPING.]
The signal's coming from right behind this door.
[GRUNTS.]
[BEEPING HASTENS.]
[LOUD BEEP.]
Don't touch it! I think Howard I am Groot! [ALARM BLARING.]
I was going to say, "I think Howard might have underestimated the level of security on this ship.
" I am Groot.
[ROCKET.]
Aw, krutack! That's Halan Skin Fog! [QUILL.]
That sounds bad.
Is it bad? [ROCKET.]
Only if you like having skin.
[ALARM CONTINUES BLARING.]
Your feathered friend set us up.
I am Groot! No.
No way Howard did this.
It's against the code! Yeah, I'm really starting to hate this code.
[WIND HOWLING.]
[THUNDERCLAP.]
[GROANS.]
Whatever this is, it's not worth the units.
It's staying here.
No way! I need those units! You know, for you guys.
Fine.
I admit it.
I'm broke.
I only did this for the units, and maybe because I missed you guys.
Some of you, anyway.
- Ah.
Clearly, he means - I know who he means.
Ha! I knew it! And I ain't leaving this till I see what's in [YELLING.]
[THUNDERCLAP.]
[GAMORA.]
That's the symbol of the Kree.
[QUILL.]
As in Ronan the Accuser's Kree? Ruthless warmongers Kree? Yes, that Kree.
Unless there is another Kree I am unaware of.
I am Groot! Aah! [GRUNTING.]
No, Howard did not throw us to the Kree.
He ain't like that.
Hey! [YELLS.]
Broke or not, we are not getting mixed up with the Kree.
I'm putting this thing back now.
Why? The Kree'll come after us anyway.
[YELLS.]
We should finish the job, take the units, and run.
[FEMALE VOICE.]
Interesting plan.
I do anticipate one problem, though.
I am Kree Accuser Phyla-Vell.
And there's nowhere to run.
[THUNDER RUMBLING.]
Now give me the case and surrender.
If you're an Accuser, how come you don't have one of those hammer thingies? Okay, never mind.
I won't ask again.
[DRAX YELLS.]
[GRUNTS.]
The code says to never surrender.
What are you talking about? The code says always surrender and find a way out later.
Just like old times, right? [GRUNTING.]
Aahh! [GRUNTS.]
Get to the Milano! Go! Aah! [ALL CRY OUT.]
I am Groot! [GRUNTS.]
Whoa! [GRUNTS.]
No! [STRAINING.]
Aahh! [GROANS.]
She doesn't want to hurt the case.
Stand back, or I'll torch this thing! You have no idea what's in there, do you? Nope.
But I have it and you don't.
So drop your sword.
[GRUNTS.]
Go! Now! [MILANO'S ENGINE REVS.]
[HOWARD.]
So, you losers actually got it.
Color me surprised.
We're about to color you taxidermied, so tell us what this thing is and why a Kree Accuser wants it so badly.
Howard, you and me go way back, but Quill's right.
Ya gotta tell me what's in this case.
So the knothead couldn't pry it open with his little twigs, could he? I am Groot! Now, don't get your foliage in a bunch.
I'll tell you everything you need to know at the drop site.
Sending the coordinates now.
- I am Groot! - What? If we don't like his answer, we can beat him up after we get the units.
[THUNDERCLAP.]
[WIND HOWLING.]
Rocket.
Idiot.
Other idiots.
I am Groot! Oh, relax.
Howard's just being Howard.
He don't mean nothin' by it.
Where's the case? We left it on the ship, as per the code.
Code says I can't hand over the units till you hand over the case.
Code also says I can't hand over the case till you hand over the units.
Ugh! Okay, let me guess.
Code also says you gotta haggle.
[TOGETHER.]
Uh, duh.
[THUNDERCLAP.]
Code don't say nothing about that.
[YELLS.]
You just added 11 additional charges to your rap sheets.
You wanna surrender, or go for an even dozen? [COUGHING.]
Drop your weapons before I turn you all into one big, smoking crater.
[GRUNTS.]
[RESTRAINT DEVICES CLICKING.]
Uh, where's Howard? - I am Groot! - Don't be ridiculous.
Howard's got his own ship.
Why would he steal ours? Because he's also stealing the item on board! [ENGINE POWERING UP.]
What? Let us go! We gotta go after him! No one is going anywhere.
Eyes on me, and everyone listen.
Guardians of the Galaxy, you stand accused of trespassing, breaking and entering, resisting an Accuser, and stealing a classified asset from the Kree Empire.
Uh, technically, the duck in our ship is still stealing said asset.
I do not know what a duck is.
But as soon as I've dealt with you, I will personally hunt down your accomplice and retrieve what's ours with extreme prejudice! Now hold out your hands.
Don't worry.
I'll have us out of jail before we even get jumpsuits.
And, thanks to Howard, we'll still have half our units.
That krutackin', double-crossin' birdbrain! Reneging on a payment ain't part of the code! The only code I care about is the Kree Code of Justice.
[RUMBLING.]
The volcano is reigniting.
It doesn't feel any hotter.
Maybe it's just settling.
[YELLS.]
Or it's an acid volcano! Why can't we ever just have a regular volcano? [ROCKET.]
Howard wants to steal our ship? Then we'll steal his.
[BEEPING.]
I am Groot! [GROANS.]
I am Groot! So the Accuser's hurt.
She was trying to hurt us, if you remember! [SIGHS.]
I just want it on record that this goes against every code I've ever heard of.
But ain't no code worth more than my best bud.
[SIGHS.]
Get the ship running.
Me and Groot gotta do something really krutackin' stupid! Ohh! That's kind of our thing! Good luck.
[GROWLS.]
She better find Howard and beat the feathers off him! I am Groot! [GRUNTING.]
We got her! Go, go, go! Okay, I may may have been wrong about Howard.
I am Groot.
[SIGHS.]
And I really do need the units.
[QUILL.]
Called it! But coming back together as a team ain't been all bad.
Just, like, 98% bad.
I would say 80% or less.
I am Groot.
[GRUNTING.]
We are clearly better together.
On a strictly professional level, of course.
[GROANS.]
[GASPS.]
Where am I? You are on a ship.
We saved you.
[QUILL.]
Because we're heroes.
And now that we know that, I bet we all learned a valuable lesson about not judging or arresting people too soon.
I couldn't agree more.
You idiots really are heroes.
But that in no way changes my job.
A Kree Accuser never releases a prisoner.
However, I will recommend that once you are found guilty, your execution is swift.
Oh, come on! Hmph! Best bud or not, next time, I'm leaving her in the volcano.
I am Groot.
I gotta ask, why all the fuss? If you just wanted whatever's in this case, why'd you make me ditch the Guardians in the volcano? Because they broke my things.