Roswell s03e10 Episode Script
A Tale of Two Parties
[JEFF SINGING AND PLAYING GUITAR.]
MICHAEL: Hey.
Good morning.
How you feeling? Better.
LIZ: Quite a night you had.
- Yeah, both of us.
What about Maria? Who knows? I think that she and Max spent the night together.
Thank you so much for this, Max, really.
- I should have never doubted you.
- No problem.
So you ready? I've been thinking about this my whole life.
I am so ready.
Then let's go.
A Tale of Two Parties [PHONE RINGING.]
- Hello? - Don't be mad.
ISABEL: Where are you? Houston.
I just missed my connecting flight.
- It's okay.
- No, it's not.
- I'm really sorry.
- It's fine.
Look, do me a favor? Don 't just sit at home alone.
Okay? Go out, have a good time, enjoy the night for both of us.
- I don't know.
- Please, Isabel.
It's bad enough I'm stuck in an airport.
I don't want you to have a crappy New Year's too.
- Please? - Okay.
This isn't fair.
I'm really sorry, Petunia, but in about three minutes, I'm out of here.
You're never gonna find it.
Oh, please.
This year, I'm gonna find it.
Trust me.
- Find what? JEFF: Enigma.
LIZ: You know about Enigma? I've only lived here all my life.
That secret New Year's Eve party's been going on since before I was your age.
Well, did you ever find it? Once.
- Did you dish up the tapioca? - Fifty times.
- Dad.
- Daughter.
Come on.
You don't really need me to be doing this.
Liz, you and I have done this party together since you were this high.
- It's a family tradition.
- That I wait on a bunch of geriatrics? When you're finally a resident of the Desert Inn Retirement Community then you don't have to come.
LIZ: Gee, thanks.
MARIA: Petunia.
Work on him.
I have a feeling he'll weaken.
Otherwise, I'll tell you about Enigma tomorrow morning.
Bye.
Otherwise, I'll tell you about Enigma tomorrow morning.
Bye.
- Oh, sorry.
- Sorry.
- So Enigma, huh? - Yep.
And I don't think it's lame or stupid or any of the insults you're about to spew.
I wasn't gonna spew.
Just talking.
So, what are you doing tonight? I don't know.
TV, PlayStation, something.
- Alone? - Yeah.
What about Max? Why don't you two go look for a party or something.
Oh, yeah, he's the original party animal.
I'd rather surf the tube.
Have fun.
Hey, wait.
You wanna come find Enigma with me? We're not dating anymore.
It's not a date.
It's a scavenger hunt looking for party clues.
Two heads are better than one.
Two heads are better than one.
No midnight kiss, no pawing in the backseat.
We just find the party and then go our separate ways till dawn.
Deal? Deal.
Thank you.
Now that my immortal soul has been cleansed [COUGHS.]
on to more terrestrial concerns.
It's been a dry couple years.
Kyle needs a woman.
Kyle needs her badly.
Kyle needs her tonight.
[KNOCKING.]
Well, thank you.
But if that's a Jehovah's Witness, I'm coming back.
- Hi.
- Hey.
Kyle Valenti, it is your lucky night.
Rudolph 's Shiny New Year! No? No, I can't.
I'm going out.
- On New Year's Eve? - Yeah, imagine that.
I'm going to that Enigma thing.
- Really? Do you know where it is? - No, but I'm gonna find out.
Or you could save yourself the aggravation and buddy up here with Rudolph and his shiny New Year.
Oh, and I brought Goobers.
- Tempting, but no.
Jesse missed his flight, he's stuck.
I had this whole romantic night planned.
Boo-hoo.
Kyle, it's Enigma.
Yeah, it's sex, drugs and whatever passes for rock 'n' roll these days.
Why would I wanna go there? Okay, fine.
Well, do you mind if an old, married lady tags along? Okay, but I'm warning you, I'm a man on a mission.
Sex or death.
So don't get in my way and don't cramp my style.
- You have style? - Hey.
- You have style? - Hey.
Okay.
Let's go.
- Where's the first clue? - High school.
Mr.
Seligman's room.
- Oh, right.
- Bring the Goobers, I'm driving.
LIZ: I'm sorry.
- It's all right.
I had a feeling he wasn't gonna let you get off work.
So, what are you gonna do? Go back to Michael's and avoid New Year's Rockin ' Eve.
Why don't you just go out with Maria and Michael.
To Enigma? I'm not really the party guy, Liz.
I'm more of a one-on-one guy.
Well, I like one-on-one but parties are very fun too.
No, seriously.
When was the last time that you went out and had fun at a party with people you didn't know? - I don't know.
- Exactly.
Come on, there's no reason both of us should have a crummy New Year's.
I'd feel like a third wheel.
You would be a guy hanging out with his best friends on New Year's.
And you'd be having a really good time.
Right? I need more convincing.
- I almost believe it.
- Goodbye.
- I have to go back downstairs.
- All right.
Okay.
But on one condition.
Midnight comes and we're together.
How? I'll be downstairs and you're gonna be out We find a way.
Somehow, some way, we make it happen.
- Max.
- Liz.
Okay.
We'll find a way.
Okay.
See you at midnight.
Bye.
LIZ: Make a resolution and stick it on the cactus.
Thank you so much.
Happy New Year.
- Watch your step.
WOMAN: Oh, thank you.
LIZ: Don't forget to make a resolution and stick it on the cactus.
There we go.
Happy New Year.
Happy New Year.
There you go.
Yep.
Make your resolution one time a year.
Happy New Year.
Here you go.
Hi, Liz.
- Hi.
- Jane Covendall.
We met a couple of months ago.
Remember the movie thing? Oh, yes, I do.
Hi, how are you? Out to pasture, but I'm doing just fine now.
How are you? I'm okay.
Who's the Guy Lombardo over there? That's Jim Valenti and his band, the Kit Shickers.
- Did you just say? - No, no, no, it's the Kit Shickers.
- It sounds bad, but it isn't.
- Mm-hmm.
Well, I sure hope those bastards can play.
Um, hi.
How about a compromise? I'll stay for the party, but once we've done the whole stupid pretend-it's-midnight-at-10:30 thing, I'm out of here.
Okay? First of all, when you're 80 and you wanna be in bed by 11 you won't think it's stupid.
Second I'm not gonna get stuck with doing all of the cleanup myself.
And third I don't want you and Max catting around the desert.
Catting around? Sweetie, your plans for this evening are set.
MICHAEL: Watch it.
MAX: You know this is breaking and entering.
If we get caught, we'll party in jail.
Girl wants a party.
This is the first clue.
"Hut, hut.
" That's football, right? Maybe the party's on the football field.
I don't know.
That's too easy.
So why are you really here? What? I'm looking for Enigma.
Liz put you up to this? You a chaperone for me and Maria or something? It's New Year's Eve, I'm looking for a party, okay? Hey, I know how to party.
MARIA: All right.
This is what I gather.
It's a quarterback's call.
This is what I gather.
It's a quarterback's call.
There's a number 7.
Dave Lambert is number 7.
- Who's Dave Lambert? - Star quarterback at Isabel's college.
Anyway, so Julia says - Who's Julia? - That's Julia.
Lambert's fraternity's having a party, which is probably where the next clue is.
So let's go.
Out the window, Guerin.
Max, listen, this chaperone thing, I know that Liz put you up to it.
Max, listen, this chaperone thing, I know that Liz put you up to it.
Michael and I know this is not a date.
I'm not a chaperone.
I'm looking for the party.
Right.
Okay.
- And whose car is this? - My boss, Toby's.
And these would be the keys.
- What if we get caught? - We won't.
How many blue Vipers are there in Roswell? One.
One.
And, I'm sorry, how many people have access to this garage after hours? Besides your boss? One.
- Yeah, we're gonna get caught.
- Maybe.
But this thing's a chick magnet.
I've seen it work.
I'll take the risk.
Get in.
- Hold me.
- I'm not really in a risk-taking mood.
I hope this doesn't cramp your style.
Yellow wasn't my first choice, but that's cool.
Thank you! Thank you very much! JANE: They're good.
- Yeah, they're good.
- But you wish you were someplace else.
- No, I don't.
Don't shick a shicker.
You, you're funny.
Boy trouble? Um Well, sort of.
My parents don't really approve of my boyfriend.
- I'm having the same problem.
LIZ: Really? You see that crotchety old couple over there? My mom and dad.
You'd think they'd leave Frank and me be by now, but no.
Uh, well, which one is Frank? JANE: Oh, he's not here.
New Year's means a lot to them.
Kind of a sentimental thing, you know.
So Frank goes out with his buddies at the VFW and I give them this one night of the year.
- Don't you mind being apart tonight? - Oh, sure we do but your parents won't always be there.
And besides we have phone sex at midnight.
[MOUTHS.]
Oh.
[KIT SHICKERS SINGING AND PLAYING.]
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY.]
Oh, no, it's an easy clue.
Easy clue.
See, the "hut, hut" part meant the Falafel Hut.
The 24 and the seven were on either side of the zeroes, so here we are.
- Nice car, huh? GIRLS: Yeah.
- Jerky? GIRLS: No, thanks.
MAN: Hey! I'm gonna ask you a question from the future.
- Yes? - Those your teeth lying on the ground? Bye-bye.
You know, I think they liked you.
Yeah, the way you like a monkey in a little hat.
I was just entertainment till the real men showed up.
Is this a confidence issue? Because women can detect insecurity a mile away, Kyle.
Can you detect it? No, I'm married.
My radar's been dismantled.
Look, women want an alpha male.
You know? You gotta exude confidence.
- Confidence? - Yeah.
All right.
It can't be that hard, Kyle.
You used to date girls.
Look, it's been a long time, all right? I used to be a fun guy, used to have fun.
Then the alien invasion happened My social life started to suck.
- Yeah.
KYLE: Find the next clue in there or what? No.
I think your whole Falafel Hut theory was a little off.
Yeah.
Come on, let's go.
- Where we going? - Find you a new social life.
Drop the jerky.
[NO AUDIBLE DIALOGUE.]
MAN 1: Party! - Dude, it's empty, bro.
- What do you mean it's empty, man? - We just tapped it.
- It's empty.
Dude, it's empty.
- It's the last one.
It's all gone.
- Not so loud, not so loud.
Hey, aren't you in my astronomy class? - No, not really.
- I swear I've seen you before.
Are you with anyone tonight? It is New Year's.
Yeah.
My girlfriend's meeting me later.
That's too bad.
That's too bad.
Hey, we're running out of beer.
Could you be a dear and start a collection for a new keg? Why don't I check and see if the keg is really empty first.
You're out of beer? Hey, maybe I can help.
What are you, a townie? - I have a way with these things.
- Be my guest.
Please.
Sometimes it's this thing up here.
MAN 1: What? MAX: Gotta make sure it's I don't know.
Give it a shot.
Oh, man! MAN 1: There was nothing in there! - Apparently not.
Dude, it's on! Party! [YELLING.]
MAN 4: Your Highness.
- Get out of here.
MAN 4: Yes, sir.
Dave, hey.
How are you? DAVE: Good, how are you? MARIA: Good.
Listen, I'm looking for a party.
There's a party right here, baby.
Do you guys know any clues for Enigma? Hey.
Oh.
Where's the keg? - Okay, this is so not the right place.
MEN: Townie! Townie! Townie! Townie! Townie! Townie! Townie! Townie! [CHEERING.]
WOMAN: Excuse me.
Max.
Max, we're in the wrong place.
I've talked to everyone.
I've flirted with half a dozen bozos.
No one's heard of Enigma.
I even let Dave Lambert touch my ass.
- Did Michael see that? - The chaperone speaks.
I don't know.
And it doesn't matter, because we're not together.
Where is Michael? - Hey.
- Look at me.
Sorry, I only have eyes for Maria.
But she's handing her butt out to strangers.
What's that? Michael, what are you doing? The one and only time I got drunk, my powers went crazy.
I'm fine.
I got no power problems whatsoever.
- All right.
I want you to stand up.
- Come on, we're going.
- Ow! - What's the matter? - That's a killer grip, man.
It's loud in here now.
- Yeah.
Can you walk? - It's bright.
It's really bright.
Bright.
Max, what's on me? - What's on my back? - Your shirt.
No, no, Max.
I got some Max, I'm on fire.
I'm on fire! Max, I'm on fire! I'm on fire! I'm on fire! - Michael, let's go! MICHAEL: Max, I'm on fire! I'm on fire! I'm on fire! I'm on fire, put it out! Put it out, I'm on fire! He's drunk? - Too loud.
- Yeah.
So New Year's isn't being ruined by some life-threatening hot-flash alien disease, it's because Michael's drunk? I think the alcohol affected his senses.
Some sort of sensory overload.
- Everything's too bright, too loud.
- The search for Enigma's over.
No, it's still early.
- He could just MICHAEL: What's that stench? - Is that you? - I don't have a stench.
Might be your perfume.
It smells like road kill.
It's 50 bucks an ounce, man.
- That stuff stinks.
- You know, you're an ass, man.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
MAX: Quick, get him in the car.
Come on.
All right, here we go, ladies and gentlemen.
And the first ball out is spaceship 17.
Mark that one if you've got it.
Spaceship 17.
Spaceship one-seven.
- She seems to be having a good time.
- Yep.
Go figure.
An hour ago, you would've thought she'd been sentenced to work here tonight.
- Jim, can I ask you something? - Sure.
What do you think about Max Evans? Honestly? I think a great deal of him.
I think he's a very special kid.
I used to think so too.
He always seemed like a responsible, straight-ahead kid.
But then Listen, this is a tough age.
I mean, take it from a father of a teenage boy.
They up and do things that Jeff, l I can't honestly sit here and give you the boys'Il-be-boys routine.
Max screwed up bigtime.
He put your daughter in danger, there's no excuse for that.
But since you seem to be asking my opinion I think Max is a good kid who made a big mistake.
And I truly believe that he's learned from it.
And I think he really does love your daughter.
And deserves a second chance.
JANE: Bingo! Bingo! - Night from hell.
LIZ: What's up? Michael's up, very up.
Come here.
LIZ: Oh, my God.
- Shh, shh, shh.
All his senses are super, super-heightened, so If the lights are too bright or he hears anything really loud it really, really hurts.
Like your whispering is doing right now.
This is a college.
This is a college party.
At a frat house.
Why am I here? Because you need to set your sights higher than high school.
- But I am in high school.
- Yes, but they don't know that.
- That's true.
- Yeah, okay.
So pick one.
How about her? How about her? Okay, that's Sally Reynolds.
She's in my philosophy class.
Not your type.
Never get your sense of humor.
How about those two brunettes over there? Okay, that one right there is Kim Langstrom.
She's very nice, but she's got a laugh like breaking glass.
The other one, Bernadette Tahoe Hey.
Yeah, she's dumb as a post and only likes girls.
Well, there's gotta be someone.
Oh, oh! You see that girl talking to the jock who knows that everything he's saying is total crap? That's Bitsy.
KYLE: Bitsy? ISABEL: I know, she's got a stupid name.
Trust me, Kyle, she is the girl of your dreams.
[KIM LAUGHING.]
Yeah, breaking glass.
Okay, let's go meet her.
Just be quiet.
Bitsy, I want you to meet a friend of mine, Kyle.
KYLE: Hi.
- Hi, nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
How's that? Is he gonna live? Yeah, I think he's past the rough stuff.
We should leave him be for a few minutes.
Will anyone notice if I duck into the bathroom? Go for it.
My dad's still calling bingo.
For the big money.
Coming down.
Coming down.
And it is - What a great New Year's Eve.
- I know.
- Did you have any luck finding Enigma? - No.
- You still have plenty of time.
- What's the point? My evening's set.
I mean, I'm just gonna be stuck here babysitting a drunken alien.
- He didn't mean to ruin everything.
- I know.
But anyway, it's my fault for inviting him, but it's like we keep doing this dance.
We're dating, we're together, then we're not but we're still together.
Nothing ever changes.
JEFF: Where's that darn band? Maybe you don't really want anything to change.
Maybe.
Or maybe neither of us is strong or crazy enough to break the cycle.
JEFF: Play another song, will you? Meteor 26.
MARIA: Is my life really gonna be like this from now on? No matter what I do or say, I just get roped back into an alien crisis? I can't even get one night off to find a stupid party.
And then the quarterback said, "Throw me the chicken" and I did.
[LAUGHS.]
He's hilarious.
I told you he's hilarious.
But really, Kyle's changed since then.
He's a Buddhist now.
It's really inspirational.
- Wanna talk religion? - Tell me you're not just some guy with a Buddha statue who prays to get laid on Friday night.
No, I do have a statue, I do.
And I do pray on Friday nights sometimes, yes.
- And you're honest.
- I try.
You succeed.
Is that good? - Very.
- Okay, I'm gonna go get some drinks.
- You guys want anything? BITS Y: I'm okay.
- Me too.
- Okay, be back whenever.
Hey, wait, wait, wait.
I just wanna say thanks for, you know.
My pleasure.
BITS Y: Isabel's nice.
Yeah.
Yeah, she is.
She is.
- Gonna head to the school for a second.
LIZ: Why? MAX: Something about that clue keeps bugging me.
- Max, would you drop the act already.
- It's not an act.
JEFF: Liz, it's almost 10:30.
- Sorry Sorry, Dad.
- I'll be right there.
JEFF: Hey, Max? - I'll be right there.
JEFF: Hey, Max? - Yeah? - Where you going? What kind of boyfriend isn't with his girl at midnight? Don't you have any class? Tick-tock.
VALENTl: And here we go.
10! ALL: Nine! Eight! Seven! Six! Five! Four! Three! Two! One! Happy New Year! [CHEERING.]
[SINGING "AULD LANG S YNE".]
Come on, Max.
Let's get a move on.
I gotta make a phone call at midnight and I ain't gonna be late.
Yes, ma'am.
Maria, come on, you don't have to do that.
What's the point? I'm stuck here anyway, so Hey, Maria? What are you doing up? You shouldn't be up.
Can I talk to you in the back for a minute? JEFF: Lizzie.
LIZ: Hmm? That's good enough, I can finish up.
What are you talking about? The place is a mess.
No, it's okay.
I can take care of it.
Why don't you Why don't you two go out and have a real New Year's.
Dad.
Well, I put a resolution on the cactus and it said: "Give second chances.
" MICHAEL: I'm fine, all right? I want you to get back out there and find Enigma.
You're being way too self-sacrificing.
I want you to have a night off from all this alien crap.
You know, we keep doing this dance and You heard me? You heard me and Liz from all the way up there? Maria, you were right.
Someone's gotta break the cycle.
We're not together, that's fine.
We're still friends, we can go our separate ways to have a good time on New Year's Eve.
I want you to go out there and find Enigma.
LIZ: You see, the thing is, I I also put a resolution on the cactus: "Remember that your parents won't always be there.
" So you wanna stay.
Well, yeah, it's Crash on New Year's.
It's, like, this This family tradition.
I think my dad deserves one night a year.
I'm sorry, I know we promised we'd be together at midnight.
We were.
Crashdown midnight.
Yeah, I guess that counts.
Listen, I'll stay too.
You know, help you clean up.
You You really wanna go to Enigma, don't you? Well Oh, my God, look at you.
Yeah, I just don't wanna go by myself.
Who still wants to find a party? Oh, I think that might be this guy right here.
Max, the chaperone thing, really, it's old and completely unnecessary right now.
All right, that's it.
I'm going to that party.
- Wish me luck.
- Good luck.
Let's go.
Party train is leaving.
- Is he serious? LIZ: Very.
Wait, what happened with Michael? Oh, he gave me the night off.
- Good for you.
Is he okay? - Yeah, he's fine.
[HORN HONKS.]
I can't believe I'm going to Enigma.
You don't mind? Rent my boyfriend for the evening? Go ahead.
- Bye.
- Thanks, bye.
Are you sure you're not disappointed? What are you talking about? I got the girl's number.
Yeah, but you wanted to get laid.
Look, I got a college girl's phone number.
I'm way ahead of the game.
And you gotta know when to hold them.
- When to fold them.
- Know when to walk away.
[SINGING KENNY ROGERS' "THE GAMBLER".]
Hey.
Thanks, I had a really good time.
Yeah, me too.
But, you know, the night is not over yet.
- It's not? - No.
It's over an hour till midnight.
Okay, well, then what do you wanna do? How much do you love me? Oh, oh, oh! - Rudolph 's Shiny New Year? - Please? - The sacrifices I make for my friends.
- Thank you.
The best.
Don't be a complete idiot.
All we know for sure is seven does not stand for Dave Lambert's jersey number.
Zero, 24, seven, zero.
What if it's a math puzzle? I mean, if we assume that the zeroes are placeholders for integers that Oh! Twenty-four, seven.
It's so simple, it's painful.
This feels like the right place.
Hey, have you found any clues? No, not yet.
Hey, is that Max Evans? Yeah.
- Daryl, right? - Yeah.
So, what are you doing, man? - What do you mean? - I mean, out.
At night.
On New Year's Eve.
I'm looking for a party.
Right.
MARIA: Max! Psst! I found a clue, but I don't know what it means.
- Where? MARIA: It's right behind me.
- The flier? - It's not a real flier.
- One of the specials must be a clue.
- There's no Blue Moon quesadilla.
- But what does that mean? MAX: Blue Moon quesadilla? Blue Moon.
Blue - Blue Moon Canyon.
- That's it! Okay.
Let's walk back to the car nice and easy like we haven't found a thing.
Michael.
Michael? Michael? - Are you? Are you okay? - Fell off the couch.
- Keep your voice down.
- You told Maria that you were okay.
I lied.
Easy.
My whole body is like one big bruise.
- What the hell? - Dad, can you help us? JEFF: What happened? - He just drank too much.
- Let's get him upstairs.
- Just put him in my bed and I'll sleep down here.
- My head.
You should've seen him there, all brave and noble.
Enough to make you fall in love with him all over again.
Yeah, well, I have to live with him, that's enough.
- Are you sure we're on Juarez Road? - Positive.
- Where's the turnoff to the canyon? - Another three or four miles.
- Isabel.
- Hmm? - It's five seconds till midnight.
- Hmm.
Happy New Year.
Happy New Year, Isabel.
LIZ: Wait, wait.
MAX: So are you ready? MARIA: I've been thinking about this my whole life.
I am so ready.
MICHAEL: You won't tell Maria? - What, that you slept in my bed? No.
As long as you promise not to tell Max.
Deal.
- Hi.
LIZ: Hey.
Jesse.
Hey, how was Houston? Jesse.
Hey, how was Houston? Cold and uncomfortable.
Spent the night in the airport.
LIZ: What? You're kidding.
- Yeah, I wish I was.
New Year's Eve all alone and then I come home to find my wife asleep with another man.
- What? Morality has no place on New Year's Eve.
I saw an opportunity and I took it.
The lesson is, never leave me alone.
- Ever.
- Lesson learned.
So I assume nobody found that Enigma thing, right? I wouldn't be too sure of that.
[SINGING P.
O.
D.
'S "ALIVE".]
- How does it go? KYLE: I don't believe it.
Oh, yes, we found it, closed it, did it.
- Unbelievable.
- Tell us everything.
Okay, well, first we go all the way back to the classroom for clues.
KYLE: The Falafel Hut, right? - The what? - Let her tell the story.
- Thank you, Michael.
As I was saying - Hi.
- The kitchen is open.
- Orders? LIZ: Oatmeal.
MAX: Egg in a hole.
KYLE: Crash Site burrito.
LIZ: Oatmeal, please.
KYLE: I want a Crash Site burrito.
MICHAEL: French toast with a side of bacon
MICHAEL: Hey.
Good morning.
How you feeling? Better.
LIZ: Quite a night you had.
- Yeah, both of us.
What about Maria? Who knows? I think that she and Max spent the night together.
Thank you so much for this, Max, really.
- I should have never doubted you.
- No problem.
So you ready? I've been thinking about this my whole life.
I am so ready.
Then let's go.
A Tale of Two Parties [PHONE RINGING.]
- Hello? - Don't be mad.
ISABEL: Where are you? Houston.
I just missed my connecting flight.
- It's okay.
- No, it's not.
- I'm really sorry.
- It's fine.
Look, do me a favor? Don 't just sit at home alone.
Okay? Go out, have a good time, enjoy the night for both of us.
- I don't know.
- Please, Isabel.
It's bad enough I'm stuck in an airport.
I don't want you to have a crappy New Year's too.
- Please? - Okay.
This isn't fair.
I'm really sorry, Petunia, but in about three minutes, I'm out of here.
You're never gonna find it.
Oh, please.
This year, I'm gonna find it.
Trust me.
- Find what? JEFF: Enigma.
LIZ: You know about Enigma? I've only lived here all my life.
That secret New Year's Eve party's been going on since before I was your age.
Well, did you ever find it? Once.
- Did you dish up the tapioca? - Fifty times.
- Dad.
- Daughter.
Come on.
You don't really need me to be doing this.
Liz, you and I have done this party together since you were this high.
- It's a family tradition.
- That I wait on a bunch of geriatrics? When you're finally a resident of the Desert Inn Retirement Community then you don't have to come.
LIZ: Gee, thanks.
MARIA: Petunia.
Work on him.
I have a feeling he'll weaken.
Otherwise, I'll tell you about Enigma tomorrow morning.
Bye.
Otherwise, I'll tell you about Enigma tomorrow morning.
Bye.
- Oh, sorry.
- Sorry.
- So Enigma, huh? - Yep.
And I don't think it's lame or stupid or any of the insults you're about to spew.
I wasn't gonna spew.
Just talking.
So, what are you doing tonight? I don't know.
TV, PlayStation, something.
- Alone? - Yeah.
What about Max? Why don't you two go look for a party or something.
Oh, yeah, he's the original party animal.
I'd rather surf the tube.
Have fun.
Hey, wait.
You wanna come find Enigma with me? We're not dating anymore.
It's not a date.
It's a scavenger hunt looking for party clues.
Two heads are better than one.
Two heads are better than one.
No midnight kiss, no pawing in the backseat.
We just find the party and then go our separate ways till dawn.
Deal? Deal.
Thank you.
Now that my immortal soul has been cleansed [COUGHS.]
on to more terrestrial concerns.
It's been a dry couple years.
Kyle needs a woman.
Kyle needs her badly.
Kyle needs her tonight.
[KNOCKING.]
Well, thank you.
But if that's a Jehovah's Witness, I'm coming back.
- Hi.
- Hey.
Kyle Valenti, it is your lucky night.
Rudolph 's Shiny New Year! No? No, I can't.
I'm going out.
- On New Year's Eve? - Yeah, imagine that.
I'm going to that Enigma thing.
- Really? Do you know where it is? - No, but I'm gonna find out.
Or you could save yourself the aggravation and buddy up here with Rudolph and his shiny New Year.
Oh, and I brought Goobers.
- Tempting, but no.
Jesse missed his flight, he's stuck.
I had this whole romantic night planned.
Boo-hoo.
Kyle, it's Enigma.
Yeah, it's sex, drugs and whatever passes for rock 'n' roll these days.
Why would I wanna go there? Okay, fine.
Well, do you mind if an old, married lady tags along? Okay, but I'm warning you, I'm a man on a mission.
Sex or death.
So don't get in my way and don't cramp my style.
- You have style? - Hey.
- You have style? - Hey.
Okay.
Let's go.
- Where's the first clue? - High school.
Mr.
Seligman's room.
- Oh, right.
- Bring the Goobers, I'm driving.
LIZ: I'm sorry.
- It's all right.
I had a feeling he wasn't gonna let you get off work.
So, what are you gonna do? Go back to Michael's and avoid New Year's Rockin ' Eve.
Why don't you just go out with Maria and Michael.
To Enigma? I'm not really the party guy, Liz.
I'm more of a one-on-one guy.
Well, I like one-on-one but parties are very fun too.
No, seriously.
When was the last time that you went out and had fun at a party with people you didn't know? - I don't know.
- Exactly.
Come on, there's no reason both of us should have a crummy New Year's.
I'd feel like a third wheel.
You would be a guy hanging out with his best friends on New Year's.
And you'd be having a really good time.
Right? I need more convincing.
- I almost believe it.
- Goodbye.
- I have to go back downstairs.
- All right.
Okay.
But on one condition.
Midnight comes and we're together.
How? I'll be downstairs and you're gonna be out We find a way.
Somehow, some way, we make it happen.
- Max.
- Liz.
Okay.
We'll find a way.
Okay.
See you at midnight.
Bye.
LIZ: Make a resolution and stick it on the cactus.
Thank you so much.
Happy New Year.
- Watch your step.
WOMAN: Oh, thank you.
LIZ: Don't forget to make a resolution and stick it on the cactus.
There we go.
Happy New Year.
Happy New Year.
There you go.
Yep.
Make your resolution one time a year.
Happy New Year.
Here you go.
Hi, Liz.
- Hi.
- Jane Covendall.
We met a couple of months ago.
Remember the movie thing? Oh, yes, I do.
Hi, how are you? Out to pasture, but I'm doing just fine now.
How are you? I'm okay.
Who's the Guy Lombardo over there? That's Jim Valenti and his band, the Kit Shickers.
- Did you just say? - No, no, no, it's the Kit Shickers.
- It sounds bad, but it isn't.
- Mm-hmm.
Well, I sure hope those bastards can play.
Um, hi.
How about a compromise? I'll stay for the party, but once we've done the whole stupid pretend-it's-midnight-at-10:30 thing, I'm out of here.
Okay? First of all, when you're 80 and you wanna be in bed by 11 you won't think it's stupid.
Second I'm not gonna get stuck with doing all of the cleanup myself.
And third I don't want you and Max catting around the desert.
Catting around? Sweetie, your plans for this evening are set.
MICHAEL: Watch it.
MAX: You know this is breaking and entering.
If we get caught, we'll party in jail.
Girl wants a party.
This is the first clue.
"Hut, hut.
" That's football, right? Maybe the party's on the football field.
I don't know.
That's too easy.
So why are you really here? What? I'm looking for Enigma.
Liz put you up to this? You a chaperone for me and Maria or something? It's New Year's Eve, I'm looking for a party, okay? Hey, I know how to party.
MARIA: All right.
This is what I gather.
It's a quarterback's call.
This is what I gather.
It's a quarterback's call.
There's a number 7.
Dave Lambert is number 7.
- Who's Dave Lambert? - Star quarterback at Isabel's college.
Anyway, so Julia says - Who's Julia? - That's Julia.
Lambert's fraternity's having a party, which is probably where the next clue is.
So let's go.
Out the window, Guerin.
Max, listen, this chaperone thing, I know that Liz put you up to it.
Max, listen, this chaperone thing, I know that Liz put you up to it.
Michael and I know this is not a date.
I'm not a chaperone.
I'm looking for the party.
Right.
Okay.
- And whose car is this? - My boss, Toby's.
And these would be the keys.
- What if we get caught? - We won't.
How many blue Vipers are there in Roswell? One.
One.
And, I'm sorry, how many people have access to this garage after hours? Besides your boss? One.
- Yeah, we're gonna get caught.
- Maybe.
But this thing's a chick magnet.
I've seen it work.
I'll take the risk.
Get in.
- Hold me.
- I'm not really in a risk-taking mood.
I hope this doesn't cramp your style.
Yellow wasn't my first choice, but that's cool.
Thank you! Thank you very much! JANE: They're good.
- Yeah, they're good.
- But you wish you were someplace else.
- No, I don't.
Don't shick a shicker.
You, you're funny.
Boy trouble? Um Well, sort of.
My parents don't really approve of my boyfriend.
- I'm having the same problem.
LIZ: Really? You see that crotchety old couple over there? My mom and dad.
You'd think they'd leave Frank and me be by now, but no.
Uh, well, which one is Frank? JANE: Oh, he's not here.
New Year's means a lot to them.
Kind of a sentimental thing, you know.
So Frank goes out with his buddies at the VFW and I give them this one night of the year.
- Don't you mind being apart tonight? - Oh, sure we do but your parents won't always be there.
And besides we have phone sex at midnight.
[MOUTHS.]
Oh.
[KIT SHICKERS SINGING AND PLAYING.]
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY.]
Oh, no, it's an easy clue.
Easy clue.
See, the "hut, hut" part meant the Falafel Hut.
The 24 and the seven were on either side of the zeroes, so here we are.
- Nice car, huh? GIRLS: Yeah.
- Jerky? GIRLS: No, thanks.
MAN: Hey! I'm gonna ask you a question from the future.
- Yes? - Those your teeth lying on the ground? Bye-bye.
You know, I think they liked you.
Yeah, the way you like a monkey in a little hat.
I was just entertainment till the real men showed up.
Is this a confidence issue? Because women can detect insecurity a mile away, Kyle.
Can you detect it? No, I'm married.
My radar's been dismantled.
Look, women want an alpha male.
You know? You gotta exude confidence.
- Confidence? - Yeah.
All right.
It can't be that hard, Kyle.
You used to date girls.
Look, it's been a long time, all right? I used to be a fun guy, used to have fun.
Then the alien invasion happened My social life started to suck.
- Yeah.
KYLE: Find the next clue in there or what? No.
I think your whole Falafel Hut theory was a little off.
Yeah.
Come on, let's go.
- Where we going? - Find you a new social life.
Drop the jerky.
[NO AUDIBLE DIALOGUE.]
MAN 1: Party! - Dude, it's empty, bro.
- What do you mean it's empty, man? - We just tapped it.
- It's empty.
Dude, it's empty.
- It's the last one.
It's all gone.
- Not so loud, not so loud.
Hey, aren't you in my astronomy class? - No, not really.
- I swear I've seen you before.
Are you with anyone tonight? It is New Year's.
Yeah.
My girlfriend's meeting me later.
That's too bad.
That's too bad.
Hey, we're running out of beer.
Could you be a dear and start a collection for a new keg? Why don't I check and see if the keg is really empty first.
You're out of beer? Hey, maybe I can help.
What are you, a townie? - I have a way with these things.
- Be my guest.
Please.
Sometimes it's this thing up here.
MAN 1: What? MAX: Gotta make sure it's I don't know.
Give it a shot.
Oh, man! MAN 1: There was nothing in there! - Apparently not.
Dude, it's on! Party! [YELLING.]
MAN 4: Your Highness.
- Get out of here.
MAN 4: Yes, sir.
Dave, hey.
How are you? DAVE: Good, how are you? MARIA: Good.
Listen, I'm looking for a party.
There's a party right here, baby.
Do you guys know any clues for Enigma? Hey.
Oh.
Where's the keg? - Okay, this is so not the right place.
MEN: Townie! Townie! Townie! Townie! Townie! Townie! Townie! Townie! [CHEERING.]
WOMAN: Excuse me.
Max.
Max, we're in the wrong place.
I've talked to everyone.
I've flirted with half a dozen bozos.
No one's heard of Enigma.
I even let Dave Lambert touch my ass.
- Did Michael see that? - The chaperone speaks.
I don't know.
And it doesn't matter, because we're not together.
Where is Michael? - Hey.
- Look at me.
Sorry, I only have eyes for Maria.
But she's handing her butt out to strangers.
What's that? Michael, what are you doing? The one and only time I got drunk, my powers went crazy.
I'm fine.
I got no power problems whatsoever.
- All right.
I want you to stand up.
- Come on, we're going.
- Ow! - What's the matter? - That's a killer grip, man.
It's loud in here now.
- Yeah.
Can you walk? - It's bright.
It's really bright.
Bright.
Max, what's on me? - What's on my back? - Your shirt.
No, no, Max.
I got some Max, I'm on fire.
I'm on fire! Max, I'm on fire! I'm on fire! I'm on fire! - Michael, let's go! MICHAEL: Max, I'm on fire! I'm on fire! I'm on fire! I'm on fire, put it out! Put it out, I'm on fire! He's drunk? - Too loud.
- Yeah.
So New Year's isn't being ruined by some life-threatening hot-flash alien disease, it's because Michael's drunk? I think the alcohol affected his senses.
Some sort of sensory overload.
- Everything's too bright, too loud.
- The search for Enigma's over.
No, it's still early.
- He could just MICHAEL: What's that stench? - Is that you? - I don't have a stench.
Might be your perfume.
It smells like road kill.
It's 50 bucks an ounce, man.
- That stuff stinks.
- You know, you're an ass, man.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
MAX: Quick, get him in the car.
Come on.
All right, here we go, ladies and gentlemen.
And the first ball out is spaceship 17.
Mark that one if you've got it.
Spaceship 17.
Spaceship one-seven.
- She seems to be having a good time.
- Yep.
Go figure.
An hour ago, you would've thought she'd been sentenced to work here tonight.
- Jim, can I ask you something? - Sure.
What do you think about Max Evans? Honestly? I think a great deal of him.
I think he's a very special kid.
I used to think so too.
He always seemed like a responsible, straight-ahead kid.
But then Listen, this is a tough age.
I mean, take it from a father of a teenage boy.
They up and do things that Jeff, l I can't honestly sit here and give you the boys'Il-be-boys routine.
Max screwed up bigtime.
He put your daughter in danger, there's no excuse for that.
But since you seem to be asking my opinion I think Max is a good kid who made a big mistake.
And I truly believe that he's learned from it.
And I think he really does love your daughter.
And deserves a second chance.
JANE: Bingo! Bingo! - Night from hell.
LIZ: What's up? Michael's up, very up.
Come here.
LIZ: Oh, my God.
- Shh, shh, shh.
All his senses are super, super-heightened, so If the lights are too bright or he hears anything really loud it really, really hurts.
Like your whispering is doing right now.
This is a college.
This is a college party.
At a frat house.
Why am I here? Because you need to set your sights higher than high school.
- But I am in high school.
- Yes, but they don't know that.
- That's true.
- Yeah, okay.
So pick one.
How about her? How about her? Okay, that's Sally Reynolds.
She's in my philosophy class.
Not your type.
Never get your sense of humor.
How about those two brunettes over there? Okay, that one right there is Kim Langstrom.
She's very nice, but she's got a laugh like breaking glass.
The other one, Bernadette Tahoe Hey.
Yeah, she's dumb as a post and only likes girls.
Well, there's gotta be someone.
Oh, oh! You see that girl talking to the jock who knows that everything he's saying is total crap? That's Bitsy.
KYLE: Bitsy? ISABEL: I know, she's got a stupid name.
Trust me, Kyle, she is the girl of your dreams.
[KIM LAUGHING.]
Yeah, breaking glass.
Okay, let's go meet her.
Just be quiet.
Bitsy, I want you to meet a friend of mine, Kyle.
KYLE: Hi.
- Hi, nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
How's that? Is he gonna live? Yeah, I think he's past the rough stuff.
We should leave him be for a few minutes.
Will anyone notice if I duck into the bathroom? Go for it.
My dad's still calling bingo.
For the big money.
Coming down.
Coming down.
And it is - What a great New Year's Eve.
- I know.
- Did you have any luck finding Enigma? - No.
- You still have plenty of time.
- What's the point? My evening's set.
I mean, I'm just gonna be stuck here babysitting a drunken alien.
- He didn't mean to ruin everything.
- I know.
But anyway, it's my fault for inviting him, but it's like we keep doing this dance.
We're dating, we're together, then we're not but we're still together.
Nothing ever changes.
JEFF: Where's that darn band? Maybe you don't really want anything to change.
Maybe.
Or maybe neither of us is strong or crazy enough to break the cycle.
JEFF: Play another song, will you? Meteor 26.
MARIA: Is my life really gonna be like this from now on? No matter what I do or say, I just get roped back into an alien crisis? I can't even get one night off to find a stupid party.
And then the quarterback said, "Throw me the chicken" and I did.
[LAUGHS.]
He's hilarious.
I told you he's hilarious.
But really, Kyle's changed since then.
He's a Buddhist now.
It's really inspirational.
- Wanna talk religion? - Tell me you're not just some guy with a Buddha statue who prays to get laid on Friday night.
No, I do have a statue, I do.
And I do pray on Friday nights sometimes, yes.
- And you're honest.
- I try.
You succeed.
Is that good? - Very.
- Okay, I'm gonna go get some drinks.
- You guys want anything? BITS Y: I'm okay.
- Me too.
- Okay, be back whenever.
Hey, wait, wait, wait.
I just wanna say thanks for, you know.
My pleasure.
BITS Y: Isabel's nice.
Yeah.
Yeah, she is.
She is.
- Gonna head to the school for a second.
LIZ: Why? MAX: Something about that clue keeps bugging me.
- Max, would you drop the act already.
- It's not an act.
JEFF: Liz, it's almost 10:30.
- Sorry Sorry, Dad.
- I'll be right there.
JEFF: Hey, Max? - I'll be right there.
JEFF: Hey, Max? - Yeah? - Where you going? What kind of boyfriend isn't with his girl at midnight? Don't you have any class? Tick-tock.
VALENTl: And here we go.
10! ALL: Nine! Eight! Seven! Six! Five! Four! Three! Two! One! Happy New Year! [CHEERING.]
[SINGING "AULD LANG S YNE".]
Come on, Max.
Let's get a move on.
I gotta make a phone call at midnight and I ain't gonna be late.
Yes, ma'am.
Maria, come on, you don't have to do that.
What's the point? I'm stuck here anyway, so Hey, Maria? What are you doing up? You shouldn't be up.
Can I talk to you in the back for a minute? JEFF: Lizzie.
LIZ: Hmm? That's good enough, I can finish up.
What are you talking about? The place is a mess.
No, it's okay.
I can take care of it.
Why don't you Why don't you two go out and have a real New Year's.
Dad.
Well, I put a resolution on the cactus and it said: "Give second chances.
" MICHAEL: I'm fine, all right? I want you to get back out there and find Enigma.
You're being way too self-sacrificing.
I want you to have a night off from all this alien crap.
You know, we keep doing this dance and You heard me? You heard me and Liz from all the way up there? Maria, you were right.
Someone's gotta break the cycle.
We're not together, that's fine.
We're still friends, we can go our separate ways to have a good time on New Year's Eve.
I want you to go out there and find Enigma.
LIZ: You see, the thing is, I I also put a resolution on the cactus: "Remember that your parents won't always be there.
" So you wanna stay.
Well, yeah, it's Crash on New Year's.
It's, like, this This family tradition.
I think my dad deserves one night a year.
I'm sorry, I know we promised we'd be together at midnight.
We were.
Crashdown midnight.
Yeah, I guess that counts.
Listen, I'll stay too.
You know, help you clean up.
You You really wanna go to Enigma, don't you? Well Oh, my God, look at you.
Yeah, I just don't wanna go by myself.
Who still wants to find a party? Oh, I think that might be this guy right here.
Max, the chaperone thing, really, it's old and completely unnecessary right now.
All right, that's it.
I'm going to that party.
- Wish me luck.
- Good luck.
Let's go.
Party train is leaving.
- Is he serious? LIZ: Very.
Wait, what happened with Michael? Oh, he gave me the night off.
- Good for you.
Is he okay? - Yeah, he's fine.
[HORN HONKS.]
I can't believe I'm going to Enigma.
You don't mind? Rent my boyfriend for the evening? Go ahead.
- Bye.
- Thanks, bye.
Are you sure you're not disappointed? What are you talking about? I got the girl's number.
Yeah, but you wanted to get laid.
Look, I got a college girl's phone number.
I'm way ahead of the game.
And you gotta know when to hold them.
- When to fold them.
- Know when to walk away.
[SINGING KENNY ROGERS' "THE GAMBLER".]
Hey.
Thanks, I had a really good time.
Yeah, me too.
But, you know, the night is not over yet.
- It's not? - No.
It's over an hour till midnight.
Okay, well, then what do you wanna do? How much do you love me? Oh, oh, oh! - Rudolph 's Shiny New Year? - Please? - The sacrifices I make for my friends.
- Thank you.
The best.
Don't be a complete idiot.
All we know for sure is seven does not stand for Dave Lambert's jersey number.
Zero, 24, seven, zero.
What if it's a math puzzle? I mean, if we assume that the zeroes are placeholders for integers that Oh! Twenty-four, seven.
It's so simple, it's painful.
This feels like the right place.
Hey, have you found any clues? No, not yet.
Hey, is that Max Evans? Yeah.
- Daryl, right? - Yeah.
So, what are you doing, man? - What do you mean? - I mean, out.
At night.
On New Year's Eve.
I'm looking for a party.
Right.
MARIA: Max! Psst! I found a clue, but I don't know what it means.
- Where? MARIA: It's right behind me.
- The flier? - It's not a real flier.
- One of the specials must be a clue.
- There's no Blue Moon quesadilla.
- But what does that mean? MAX: Blue Moon quesadilla? Blue Moon.
Blue - Blue Moon Canyon.
- That's it! Okay.
Let's walk back to the car nice and easy like we haven't found a thing.
Michael.
Michael? Michael? - Are you? Are you okay? - Fell off the couch.
- Keep your voice down.
- You told Maria that you were okay.
I lied.
Easy.
My whole body is like one big bruise.
- What the hell? - Dad, can you help us? JEFF: What happened? - He just drank too much.
- Let's get him upstairs.
- Just put him in my bed and I'll sleep down here.
- My head.
You should've seen him there, all brave and noble.
Enough to make you fall in love with him all over again.
Yeah, well, I have to live with him, that's enough.
- Are you sure we're on Juarez Road? - Positive.
- Where's the turnoff to the canyon? - Another three or four miles.
- Isabel.
- Hmm? - It's five seconds till midnight.
- Hmm.
Happy New Year.
Happy New Year, Isabel.
LIZ: Wait, wait.
MAX: So are you ready? MARIA: I've been thinking about this my whole life.
I am so ready.
MICHAEL: You won't tell Maria? - What, that you slept in my bed? No.
As long as you promise not to tell Max.
Deal.
- Hi.
LIZ: Hey.
Jesse.
Hey, how was Houston? Jesse.
Hey, how was Houston? Cold and uncomfortable.
Spent the night in the airport.
LIZ: What? You're kidding.
- Yeah, I wish I was.
New Year's Eve all alone and then I come home to find my wife asleep with another man.
- What? Morality has no place on New Year's Eve.
I saw an opportunity and I took it.
The lesson is, never leave me alone.
- Ever.
- Lesson learned.
So I assume nobody found that Enigma thing, right? I wouldn't be too sure of that.
[SINGING P.
O.
D.
'S "ALIVE".]
- How does it go? KYLE: I don't believe it.
Oh, yes, we found it, closed it, did it.
- Unbelievable.
- Tell us everything.
Okay, well, first we go all the way back to the classroom for clues.
KYLE: The Falafel Hut, right? - The what? - Let her tell the story.
- Thank you, Michael.
As I was saying - Hi.
- The kitchen is open.
- Orders? LIZ: Oatmeal.
MAX: Egg in a hole.
KYLE: Crash Site burrito.
LIZ: Oatmeal, please.
KYLE: I want a Crash Site burrito.
MICHAEL: French toast with a side of bacon