Space Ghost Coast to Coast (1993) s03e10 Episode Script
Glen Campbell
We're going to say grace first.
Rub-a-dub-dub, thanks for the grub.
I don't get it.
Where are all the giant saucer crabs?
Shush.
Don't "shush" me.
Shh!
Where's Moltar?
Shhhh!
Moltar, the Simpsons are on.
Which one's homer again?
The baby?
Ok. Let's see.
It's on page 7.
Ok.
The joy of escape.
"It was machiavelli who once said that
escape is the primary joy of, uh"
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Da, da, da, da, da.
Ahh, here we go.
"To win your freedom, you must
only pull the inverse phase lever."
Duh, ok. That must be this gizmo here.
Wonder what that does.
Da AndDa.
All right. Ha!
That's it, then.
Adios, Space Ghost.
Uh, wait.
Where are my keys?
Oh, I got them.
greetings, citizens.
My guest tonight will be cartoonist and creator
of the popular Simpsons tv franchise empire,
Matt groening Zorak:
Gray-ning.
What?
It's groening.
Matt groening.
That's what I said.
No, you didn't.
You said groening.
I know I said-- I sai groening!
What?
I said, I said groening.
Oh.
Well You're adopted.
Play me to the desk.
What, now?
Yes, now.
You need to be more attentive.
Are you listening to me?
Eh?
Space Ghost, I salute you.
At ease, citizen.
Ok.
Welcome to my show, Matt.
Have you seen it?
Do you love it?
Oh, yes! I make it a habit of watching all shows that rhyme.
Space Ghost coast to coast, of course.
Uh Dennis the menace.
I spy.
Mod squad.
Magilla gorilla.
Care bears.
Primetime live.
Sort of rhymes.
Wings.
Rin tin tin.
Hey there, it's yogi bear.
Hixie and Dixie.
Yoo-hoo, it's John sununu.
Uh Space Ghost coast to coast?
Ok.
Tinkle and dinkle, the ha-ha twins.
There's no such show as tinkle and dinkl Matthew!
Is there?
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha! You whig.
Bull moose.
Tory.
Trotskyist.
Rabble-rouser.
Dunker.
Federalist.
Hey. Love it or leave it, pal.
What are you, anyway?
I'm just a lineman for the county.
I am, actually.
I am a lineman for the county.
Hmm.
I'm a Space Ghost, you silly.
You're a Space Ghost?
Sure. Why not?
Is there a law?
What are you a ghost of?
I'm the ghost of Christmas past.
Now you say, "spirit, remove me from this place."
You remind me of Casper, the friendly ghost, sort of.
Except you're a space version, right?
Who was Casper the ghost of-- Casper the little dead boy?
You wonder if I'm a little dead boy.
Are you Casper grown up?
Yes, Matt.
All grown up.
I think Casper was actually the ghost of Richie rich.
They look very similar.
Quite wealthy, right?
Mm-hmm.
But dead.
Ha ha ha!
Right.
Right.
You're bloody well right.
Have you ever been to outer space?
Uh, other than this particular show that we're doing right now,
no, I have never been in outer space.
Enjoying your first time?
Well, you know, in outer space, no one can hear you sneeze.
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!
Ohh.
Gesundheit.
Thanks.
So, Matt, are you beginning to feel my superhuman influence?
It should feel tingly.
Constantly, wherever I go.
You know, I've based my entire life
on your teachings, Space Ghost.
Now you're talking.
Aren't you? Aren't you talking now?
Let's go on.
Next question.
Good question. Ok.
Did I mention I'm interviewing you from outer space?
Yes, you did.
Good, because sometimes, I repeat myself.
The miracle of 21st-century-- I repeat myself.
Ha ha ha!
What's your real name?
What? My real name?
Yeah.
Who, me?
It's not really all that important.
Tad ghostal.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
I like that.
I hate you, mother.
That's just what a fox network
executive said to me the other day.
That's a joke.
Ha ha!
Isn't it? Ha ha!
You ever eat Sushi?
Mmm. It's ok.
Good eatin'.
Mm-hmm.
Ahem. Ok.
How's about some advice to the
would-be cartoon animators out there?
Uh Watch the cartoon network.
Aspire.
Aim for the stars.
By the time I get to Phoenix
she'll be rising and look at me.
I'm on the Space Ghost show.
Yeah. Me, too.
You know. Really, it's a great show.
I really like it.
It's baffling and yet confusing.
Like a rhinestone cowboy, right?
Right.
Wrong.
Oh. Hee hee hee!
Grr! Bart, you naughty brat.
Make the one hit the other.
Make him hit him!
Don't have a cow, mom.
No. Move the other one.
No, no.
Pull him back.
Ha ha ha ha!
Make him hit him.
Oh, Bart, come on.
You never But what do you think?
Don't put them up!
This is the only fun we've had so far in this stupid show.
I'm not very good at this.
I've only been practicing for a few weeks.
Do some more.
You being sarcastic?
Who's that?
Nothing.
So, Matt, cartoon Simpsons, funny puppet Simpsons.
How long before the live-action Simpsons?
Quite soon.
As you know, animation is incredibly expensive.
Oh, absolutely.
I mean, the amount of money that
you put into this show yourself,
you know what I'm talking about.
I know what you mean.
Exactly. And so, uh We will definitely be doing
a live-action Simpsons.
UhAnd as far as homer, I don't know.
Do you have any suggestions to who should play homer?
Depends.
Is homer a superhero or an evil villain?
Because I may know someone.
Actually, it's good that you mention that,
because we were calling him
for a while super homer,
but your people had words with my people,
and, uh It's all being, you know,
it's up for litigation right now.
We'll see who wins, pal.
Did I say super homer?
I meant to say space homer.
Boy. I--well, what the-- you get it.
You want to do that again?
We can't. We're live!
Well, now you're getting silly, Space Ghost.
Bring back the puppets.
Please?
Ok. Talk some more about cartoons.
Well, it wasn't what I always wanted to do.
I was actually a philosophy major
in college, but let me tell you,
if you're a philosophy major in college, cartoonist is basically
the only career open to you.
I could have gone to college, but I didn't, and there's nothing
wrong with that.
Nothing.
Ha ha ha!
Nothing!
Ahem.
Hey, Matt.
Have you ever considered marketing the Simpsons image on stuff?
You know, t-shirts, coffee mugs.
Sweater vests?
Sweater vests, sure.
Marketing the Simpsons on t-shirts and mugs.
Yeah, we could do that But it would be wrong.
Wrong likeHow wrong?
Wrong wrong?
I think pandering is one of the words that would come to mind.
Well, Matt, we have a few marketing
ideas of our own up this little
spandex sleeve of mine.
Really?
Foot stools.
That's two.
Any day now, you should be seeing
official Space Ghost foot stools
resting beneath every foot in the known universe.
We're starting out with foot stools.
You know, take it slow.
And we'll probably branch out from there.
And sell some other Non-foot stool related items.
So, where do all those t-shirts come from?
Those are all bootlegs, those things you see out there.
We don't have anything to do with them.
Huh. Bootleg.
Is that anything like a foot stool?
Well, is it?
II don't know.
Do they sell?
The bootlegs, that is.
You have no idea what I'm-- Moltar, put "bootlegs"
on our list.
Next to, uh, foot stools.
Moltar?
Zorak, what's he doing in-- shh! Listen.
The wind.
Ok.
Well, Matt, if Moltar was paying attention, he'd tell you that
we're also marketing a line of exotic seasonings.
Salt, pepper
Basil.
Basil.
Mm-hmm.
We're calling it "spice ghost."
We put the "sg"
in "msg."
Yeah. Do you like that?
Zorak came up with that.
Oh. Really?
Anyways, we plan to package the spice
rack with the foot stool and market it
as the "Space Ghost combo pak."
We spell the pack "pak."
Ooh. Fantastic.
Mm-hmm.
Citizen groening, please issue some
words of advice to the universe.
Buy Space Ghost cereal, but don't eat the prizes.
Space Ghost cereal. Hmm!
Now, would that have flakes in it?
Uh, something like that.
Good idea, Matt. I'll see if the
foot stool people can make it happen.
Space Ghost, I salute you.
Dismissed.
Aloha.
Mele kalikimaka.
Thank you.
We need to be on top of that flake deal.
Okey-dokey.
We're going to be bigger than the lion king.
Uh, ok.
Moltar, did you get all that stuff about the cereal?
That part about the flakes?
Moltar, are you listening to me?
Where's Moltar?
Um, he left about 10 minutes ago.
He was always a quiet child.
What?
What?
Just pretty much kept to himself.
What are you talking about?
I told you already.
He left.
I'm checking.
Go ahead.
Great Caesar's ghost!
Moltar's escaped!
Oh, shoot.
Psst!
Psst.
Hey. How you doin'?
Huh?
You a buckeye fan?
No.
What kind of hat is that?
That's, like, the colors of the buckeyes, ain't it?
Am I diturbin' you?
Yeah.
Oh. I'm sorry.
Captioning made possible by Turner entertainment group
and U.S. department of education captioning performed by
Good day. Smithers, release the hounds.
Rub-a-dub-dub, thanks for the grub.
I don't get it.
Where are all the giant saucer crabs?
Shush.
Don't "shush" me.
Shh!
Where's Moltar?
Shhhh!
Moltar, the Simpsons are on.
Which one's homer again?
The baby?
Ok. Let's see.
It's on page 7.
Ok.
The joy of escape.
"It was machiavelli who once said that
escape is the primary joy of, uh"
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Da, da, da, da, da.
Ahh, here we go.
"To win your freedom, you must
only pull the inverse phase lever."
Duh, ok. That must be this gizmo here.
Wonder what that does.
Da AndDa.
All right. Ha!
That's it, then.
Adios, Space Ghost.
Uh, wait.
Where are my keys?
Oh, I got them.
greetings, citizens.
My guest tonight will be cartoonist and creator
of the popular Simpsons tv franchise empire,
Matt groening Zorak:
Gray-ning.
What?
It's groening.
Matt groening.
That's what I said.
No, you didn't.
You said groening.
I know I said-- I sai groening!
What?
I said, I said groening.
Oh.
Well You're adopted.
Play me to the desk.
What, now?
Yes, now.
You need to be more attentive.
Are you listening to me?
Eh?
Space Ghost, I salute you.
At ease, citizen.
Ok.
Welcome to my show, Matt.
Have you seen it?
Do you love it?
Oh, yes! I make it a habit of watching all shows that rhyme.
Space Ghost coast to coast, of course.
Uh Dennis the menace.
I spy.
Mod squad.
Magilla gorilla.
Care bears.
Primetime live.
Sort of rhymes.
Wings.
Rin tin tin.
Hey there, it's yogi bear.
Hixie and Dixie.
Yoo-hoo, it's John sununu.
Uh Space Ghost coast to coast?
Ok.
Tinkle and dinkle, the ha-ha twins.
There's no such show as tinkle and dinkl Matthew!
Is there?
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha! You whig.
Bull moose.
Tory.
Trotskyist.
Rabble-rouser.
Dunker.
Federalist.
Hey. Love it or leave it, pal.
What are you, anyway?
I'm just a lineman for the county.
I am, actually.
I am a lineman for the county.
Hmm.
I'm a Space Ghost, you silly.
You're a Space Ghost?
Sure. Why not?
Is there a law?
What are you a ghost of?
I'm the ghost of Christmas past.
Now you say, "spirit, remove me from this place."
You remind me of Casper, the friendly ghost, sort of.
Except you're a space version, right?
Who was Casper the ghost of-- Casper the little dead boy?
You wonder if I'm a little dead boy.
Are you Casper grown up?
Yes, Matt.
All grown up.
I think Casper was actually the ghost of Richie rich.
They look very similar.
Quite wealthy, right?
Mm-hmm.
But dead.
Ha ha ha!
Right.
Right.
You're bloody well right.
Have you ever been to outer space?
Uh, other than this particular show that we're doing right now,
no, I have never been in outer space.
Enjoying your first time?
Well, you know, in outer space, no one can hear you sneeze.
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!
Ohh.
Gesundheit.
Thanks.
So, Matt, are you beginning to feel my superhuman influence?
It should feel tingly.
Constantly, wherever I go.
You know, I've based my entire life
on your teachings, Space Ghost.
Now you're talking.
Aren't you? Aren't you talking now?
Let's go on.
Next question.
Good question. Ok.
Did I mention I'm interviewing you from outer space?
Yes, you did.
Good, because sometimes, I repeat myself.
The miracle of 21st-century-- I repeat myself.
Ha ha ha!
What's your real name?
What? My real name?
Yeah.
Who, me?
It's not really all that important.
Tad ghostal.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
I like that.
I hate you, mother.
That's just what a fox network
executive said to me the other day.
That's a joke.
Ha ha!
Isn't it? Ha ha!
You ever eat Sushi?
Mmm. It's ok.
Good eatin'.
Mm-hmm.
Ahem. Ok.
How's about some advice to the
would-be cartoon animators out there?
Uh Watch the cartoon network.
Aspire.
Aim for the stars.
By the time I get to Phoenix
she'll be rising and look at me.
I'm on the Space Ghost show.
Yeah. Me, too.
You know. Really, it's a great show.
I really like it.
It's baffling and yet confusing.
Like a rhinestone cowboy, right?
Right.
Wrong.
Oh. Hee hee hee!
Grr! Bart, you naughty brat.
Make the one hit the other.
Make him hit him!
Don't have a cow, mom.
No. Move the other one.
No, no.
Pull him back.
Ha ha ha ha!
Make him hit him.
Oh, Bart, come on.
You never But what do you think?
Don't put them up!
This is the only fun we've had so far in this stupid show.
I'm not very good at this.
I've only been practicing for a few weeks.
Do some more.
You being sarcastic?
Who's that?
Nothing.
So, Matt, cartoon Simpsons, funny puppet Simpsons.
How long before the live-action Simpsons?
Quite soon.
As you know, animation is incredibly expensive.
Oh, absolutely.
I mean, the amount of money that
you put into this show yourself,
you know what I'm talking about.
I know what you mean.
Exactly. And so, uh We will definitely be doing
a live-action Simpsons.
UhAnd as far as homer, I don't know.
Do you have any suggestions to who should play homer?
Depends.
Is homer a superhero or an evil villain?
Because I may know someone.
Actually, it's good that you mention that,
because we were calling him
for a while super homer,
but your people had words with my people,
and, uh It's all being, you know,
it's up for litigation right now.
We'll see who wins, pal.
Did I say super homer?
I meant to say space homer.
Boy. I--well, what the-- you get it.
You want to do that again?
We can't. We're live!
Well, now you're getting silly, Space Ghost.
Bring back the puppets.
Please?
Ok. Talk some more about cartoons.
Well, it wasn't what I always wanted to do.
I was actually a philosophy major
in college, but let me tell you,
if you're a philosophy major in college, cartoonist is basically
the only career open to you.
I could have gone to college, but I didn't, and there's nothing
wrong with that.
Nothing.
Ha ha ha!
Nothing!
Ahem.
Hey, Matt.
Have you ever considered marketing the Simpsons image on stuff?
You know, t-shirts, coffee mugs.
Sweater vests?
Sweater vests, sure.
Marketing the Simpsons on t-shirts and mugs.
Yeah, we could do that But it would be wrong.
Wrong likeHow wrong?
Wrong wrong?
I think pandering is one of the words that would come to mind.
Well, Matt, we have a few marketing
ideas of our own up this little
spandex sleeve of mine.
Really?
Foot stools.
That's two.
Any day now, you should be seeing
official Space Ghost foot stools
resting beneath every foot in the known universe.
We're starting out with foot stools.
You know, take it slow.
And we'll probably branch out from there.
And sell some other Non-foot stool related items.
So, where do all those t-shirts come from?
Those are all bootlegs, those things you see out there.
We don't have anything to do with them.
Huh. Bootleg.
Is that anything like a foot stool?
Well, is it?
II don't know.
Do they sell?
The bootlegs, that is.
You have no idea what I'm-- Moltar, put "bootlegs"
on our list.
Next to, uh, foot stools.
Moltar?
Zorak, what's he doing in-- shh! Listen.
The wind.
Ok.
Well, Matt, if Moltar was paying attention, he'd tell you that
we're also marketing a line of exotic seasonings.
Salt, pepper
Basil.
Basil.
Mm-hmm.
We're calling it "spice ghost."
We put the "sg"
in "msg."
Yeah. Do you like that?
Zorak came up with that.
Oh. Really?
Anyways, we plan to package the spice
rack with the foot stool and market it
as the "Space Ghost combo pak."
We spell the pack "pak."
Ooh. Fantastic.
Mm-hmm.
Citizen groening, please issue some
words of advice to the universe.
Buy Space Ghost cereal, but don't eat the prizes.
Space Ghost cereal. Hmm!
Now, would that have flakes in it?
Uh, something like that.
Good idea, Matt. I'll see if the
foot stool people can make it happen.
Space Ghost, I salute you.
Dismissed.
Aloha.
Mele kalikimaka.
Thank you.
We need to be on top of that flake deal.
Okey-dokey.
We're going to be bigger than the lion king.
Uh, ok.
Moltar, did you get all that stuff about the cereal?
That part about the flakes?
Moltar, are you listening to me?
Where's Moltar?
Um, he left about 10 minutes ago.
He was always a quiet child.
What?
What?
Just pretty much kept to himself.
What are you talking about?
I told you already.
He left.
I'm checking.
Go ahead.
Great Caesar's ghost!
Moltar's escaped!
Oh, shoot.
Psst!
Psst.
Hey. How you doin'?
Huh?
You a buckeye fan?
No.
What kind of hat is that?
That's, like, the colors of the buckeyes, ain't it?
Am I diturbin' you?
Yeah.
Oh. I'm sorry.
Captioning made possible by Turner entertainment group
and U.S. department of education captioning performed by
Good day. Smithers, release the hounds.