Steven Universe (2013) s03e10 Episode Script
The New Lars
1 - Garnet: # We # - # Are the Crystal # - Steven: # Gems # - # we'll always save the day # Steven: # and if you think we can't # All: # we'll always find a way # - # that's why the people # - # of this world # - Garnet: # believe in # - # Garnet # - # Amethyst # - # and Pearl # Steven: # And Steven! # Steven: For your consideration The koala, a marsupial from the forests of Australia, and the sloth, hailing from the forests of South America.
Who should be crowned the king of the "hanging around, doing nothing" mammals? - I think sloths eat poop.
- Gross.
Well, that's definitely going to affect the rankings.
Eating poop would be better than this.
[Snickers.]
Just let him do his thing.
So glad I don't have to deal with this tomorrow.
Oh, yeah, they're closing shop to get those gulls - out of the vents.
Any plans? - Nah.
Would you Want to come by my place? I know it's kind of been awhile, but we could get some food, watch some movies.
Nah.
Sounds boring.
I'll see if Buck wants to do stuff.
Well, I hope you guys have fun together.
Yeah.
We will.
Hey, Steven? You're staring a little bit.
No, I'm not.
[Doorbell chimes.]
Hey, Lars? Why didn't you want to hang out with Sadie? [Grunts.]
I see her at work.
Why do I need to see her on my day off? But aren't you going to get married, and have kids, and name one of them after his Uncle Steven? Oh, let me think No! Me and Sadie aren't getting married.
We aren't even dating.
And if she thinks we are, that's her problem.
You're lying! I know how you feel about Sadie.
You don't know what you're talking about, so butt out! Go annoy someone else.
You little weirdo.
Why can't you just admit you love her?! [Grunts.]
Lars.
Lars? You don't need to be such a jerk all the time.
I wish I could just show you.
Aah! Aah! Huh? Wha? Whoa! Wait a minute! This isn't the temple.
This isn't my voice.
Whoa I'm Lars? Ooh! [Whimpering.]
I'm naked! I must've jumped into Lars' mind.
I guess while I'm in here, I'd better do my best to respect Lars' body, and his privacy.
No.
We can do this, Dante.
We have to talk to him.
Hi, there.
Oh, there's our boy.
How are you feeling? - Uh taller? - Here you go.
Oh, it's good to see you this morning, Laramie.
- Who's Laramie? - I mean Lars.
Now, Lars, we know school is a touchy subject, but we need to talk about this.
"F-f-f-f-f-f-b-d-f.
" That doesn't spell anything.
Please, Lars.
We let you move into the attic, and your grades are still below average.
All we're asking from you is Both: A little effort! Wow.
You guys seem so nice.
I'm sure I don't want to let either of you down.
I, Lars, promise to go out and do my very best at being your son.
Wow.
He didn't even swear.
And he's wearing the plugs I got him.
I'm Lars.
[Chuckles.]
I'm Lars, I'm Lars, I'm Laaaars! Hey, Onion? Look.
I'm Lars.
I'm Lars for the day Hey, it's Buck and Sour Cream.
Hi, guys! Whatcha doing? Hanging out? - Yeah.
- That's cool.
Would you say you hang out more like koalas or sloths? - I'm asking for Steven.
- I like that kid.
Yeah, he's the best.
[Chuckles.]
Tell Steven we're more like sleeping tigers.
Okay.
Then I'll be a panther.
[Growls.]
[Chuckles.]
- Oh.
Hey, Lars.
- Hi, Jenny.
Ugh.
Dad made me work this morning.
- Now I stink like Pizza and fish.
- You don't stink.
Lars?! What a nice thing to say! I can say way nicer stuff.
Like you're really cool and pretty and fun to be around.
[Laughs.]
Lars, this is so unlike you.
- I see what's going on here.
- Huh? This isn't the Lars we know.
Maybe Lars is actually a good guy who likes making people feel good.
Yep.
You got me.
That's the kind of vibe I want on our dance crew.
[Gasps.]
Lars is going to be psyched! Buck is pleased.
- Can he dance, though? - Can I? [Humming.]
- Whoa! Lars got moves! - Whoo.
We going to a dance competition, and we need you.
Come with us.
[Gasps.]
Oh.
Sorry.
I can't.
There's someone who needs me more.
[Knocks.]
[Buzzer.]
Okay, okay, geez.
Hold your horses.
Still want to hang out? Well, if it ain't the human boomerang always coming back to me? Look, sorry.
I was going to watch a movie, if if you wanna? I don't I don't know.
[Laughs.]
- N-Nothing fancy.
- I don't need anything fancy.
[Laughs.]
Just get in here.
Are those hearts in your ears? There's a bunch of stuff down there you probably haven't seen yet.
Take your pick.
"Night Terrors," "Enjoy the Violence," "Critter Crematorium," "The Organ Pickler, part 7"? I keep telling you, that's the good one.
How about this? "Fangs of Love.
" I think I'd rather have my organs pickled.
And you love me? Even like this? I dooooooo! [Howls.]
[Laughs.]
Didn't I try to warn you? [Crying.]
They just wanted to be together.
[Sobbing.]
Hey? What is with you tonight, huh? [Sniffling.]
What do you mean? [Blows nose.]
[Sniffles.]
Look, it's like yesterday I asked if you wanted to come over, but you made a big deal, saying no in front of Steven, and now you're here? It's just, it's getting to be - kind of a roller coaster, isn't it? - Roller coasters are fun.
[Sighs.]
It's like you're one way in private and a different way in public.
You act like I don't know you don't want to be seen with me, but I do know.
I'm not stupid.
- Don't be sad.
- It's just, I need to know.
How do you really feel about me? Isn't it obvious? I love you.
Ugh! What are you doing?! - Finally telling you! - Nuh! Are you kidding me?! All right, I get it.
I see how it is.
Some cute little heart gauges, some dumb, fluffy movie, that's enough for Sadie.
Right, Lars? Uh, d I-I-I just wanted to fix everything.
Get out! [Grunting.]
Stop.
You're hurting me! - Sadie: Good! - You don't understand! I understand enough! You're only my friend when it's convenient for you.
Just get out of my life! [Gasps.]
I'm not Lars! What?! I'm Steven.
I just woke up this morning with my mind in Lars' body.
Ugh! I didn't mean to hurt your feelings like this.
- I'm sorry.
- Okay.
Maybe you are Steven.
Lars would never apologize to me.
Wait.
So does this mean Lars' mind is inside your body? - I don't know.
- You don't know?! - Maybe we should check? - Ya think? At least we got second place.
[Both panting.]
Hey, look, it's Lars and doughnut girl.
It seems like Lars is really turning a corner.
Oh, speak of the devil.
Where's he going? Who's that girl? - Let's follow him and find out.
- [Chuckling.]
Oh, Martha! [Grunting.]
It's locked.
[Grunts.]
Hyah! Why are they breaking into Steven's house? Our Lars a burglar.
Now, now, you know we've been ready for this day.
[Both panting.]
There you are.
How do you switch back? This looks weird, but don't jump to conclusions.
[All gasp.]
Come on, wake up! [Slaping.]
Steven: [Groaning.]
Aah! - Guhhh - Oh! [Gasps.]
What's going on? Mnh.
Huh? Sadie? [Gasps.]
How did I get here? What are all you doing here?! - Lars, don't get mad.
- Huh?! - But Steven really didn't mean to - You! What did you do?! I spent the day with my mind in your body.
[Gasps.]
Unh! Aah! - Whoa.
Where's your chill? - Buck is no longer pleased.
I'm so sorry.
He wasn't like this this morning.
I was acting weird all day and you all just liked it?! Please don't make a scene, Laramie.
Mnh! [Inhales deeply.]
Daah! [Music.]
[Doorbell chimes.]
Hey, Lars? Um I'm really, really sorry about yesterday.
I got you a card.
It's got a koala and a sloth.
I hope I didn't ruin your friendship with Sadie.
With Sadie?! Oh, what did you say to her? I said you loved her.
[Thud!.]
A-And what did she say? She thought you'd only say something like that to hurt her.
Yeah.
I guess she's right.
Maybe that's why everyone liked the you me - better than the real me.
- Not everyone.
- Uh, hey.
- Hey! [Panting.]
Weird day yesterday, huh? [Chuckles.]
Ugh.
Every day in Beach City is weird.
- That's why I hate it here.
- It's good to see the real you.
Yeah? Uh, uh, you should come over later, you know, bring a movie to watch or something.
- [Laughs.]
Okay.
- Awesome.
Look at you go, I just adore you I wish that I knew what makes you think I'm so special
Who should be crowned the king of the "hanging around, doing nothing" mammals? - I think sloths eat poop.
- Gross.
Well, that's definitely going to affect the rankings.
Eating poop would be better than this.
[Snickers.]
Just let him do his thing.
So glad I don't have to deal with this tomorrow.
Oh, yeah, they're closing shop to get those gulls - out of the vents.
Any plans? - Nah.
Would you Want to come by my place? I know it's kind of been awhile, but we could get some food, watch some movies.
Nah.
Sounds boring.
I'll see if Buck wants to do stuff.
Well, I hope you guys have fun together.
Yeah.
We will.
Hey, Steven? You're staring a little bit.
No, I'm not.
[Doorbell chimes.]
Hey, Lars? Why didn't you want to hang out with Sadie? [Grunts.]
I see her at work.
Why do I need to see her on my day off? But aren't you going to get married, and have kids, and name one of them after his Uncle Steven? Oh, let me think No! Me and Sadie aren't getting married.
We aren't even dating.
And if she thinks we are, that's her problem.
You're lying! I know how you feel about Sadie.
You don't know what you're talking about, so butt out! Go annoy someone else.
You little weirdo.
Why can't you just admit you love her?! [Grunts.]
Lars.
Lars? You don't need to be such a jerk all the time.
I wish I could just show you.
Aah! Aah! Huh? Wha? Whoa! Wait a minute! This isn't the temple.
This isn't my voice.
Whoa I'm Lars? Ooh! [Whimpering.]
I'm naked! I must've jumped into Lars' mind.
I guess while I'm in here, I'd better do my best to respect Lars' body, and his privacy.
No.
We can do this, Dante.
We have to talk to him.
Hi, there.
Oh, there's our boy.
How are you feeling? - Uh taller? - Here you go.
Oh, it's good to see you this morning, Laramie.
- Who's Laramie? - I mean Lars.
Now, Lars, we know school is a touchy subject, but we need to talk about this.
"F-f-f-f-f-f-b-d-f.
" That doesn't spell anything.
Please, Lars.
We let you move into the attic, and your grades are still below average.
All we're asking from you is Both: A little effort! Wow.
You guys seem so nice.
I'm sure I don't want to let either of you down.
I, Lars, promise to go out and do my very best at being your son.
Wow.
He didn't even swear.
And he's wearing the plugs I got him.
I'm Lars.
[Chuckles.]
I'm Lars, I'm Lars, I'm Laaaars! Hey, Onion? Look.
I'm Lars.
I'm Lars for the day Hey, it's Buck and Sour Cream.
Hi, guys! Whatcha doing? Hanging out? - Yeah.
- That's cool.
Would you say you hang out more like koalas or sloths? - I'm asking for Steven.
- I like that kid.
Yeah, he's the best.
[Chuckles.]
Tell Steven we're more like sleeping tigers.
Okay.
Then I'll be a panther.
[Growls.]
[Chuckles.]
- Oh.
Hey, Lars.
- Hi, Jenny.
Ugh.
Dad made me work this morning.
- Now I stink like Pizza and fish.
- You don't stink.
Lars?! What a nice thing to say! I can say way nicer stuff.
Like you're really cool and pretty and fun to be around.
[Laughs.]
Lars, this is so unlike you.
- I see what's going on here.
- Huh? This isn't the Lars we know.
Maybe Lars is actually a good guy who likes making people feel good.
Yep.
You got me.
That's the kind of vibe I want on our dance crew.
[Gasps.]
Lars is going to be psyched! Buck is pleased.
- Can he dance, though? - Can I? [Humming.]
- Whoa! Lars got moves! - Whoo.
We going to a dance competition, and we need you.
Come with us.
[Gasps.]
Oh.
Sorry.
I can't.
There's someone who needs me more.
[Knocks.]
[Buzzer.]
Okay, okay, geez.
Hold your horses.
Still want to hang out? Well, if it ain't the human boomerang always coming back to me? Look, sorry.
I was going to watch a movie, if if you wanna? I don't I don't know.
[Laughs.]
- N-Nothing fancy.
- I don't need anything fancy.
[Laughs.]
Just get in here.
Are those hearts in your ears? There's a bunch of stuff down there you probably haven't seen yet.
Take your pick.
"Night Terrors," "Enjoy the Violence," "Critter Crematorium," "The Organ Pickler, part 7"? I keep telling you, that's the good one.
How about this? "Fangs of Love.
" I think I'd rather have my organs pickled.
And you love me? Even like this? I dooooooo! [Howls.]
[Laughs.]
Didn't I try to warn you? [Crying.]
They just wanted to be together.
[Sobbing.]
Hey? What is with you tonight, huh? [Sniffling.]
What do you mean? [Blows nose.]
[Sniffles.]
Look, it's like yesterday I asked if you wanted to come over, but you made a big deal, saying no in front of Steven, and now you're here? It's just, it's getting to be - kind of a roller coaster, isn't it? - Roller coasters are fun.
[Sighs.]
It's like you're one way in private and a different way in public.
You act like I don't know you don't want to be seen with me, but I do know.
I'm not stupid.
- Don't be sad.
- It's just, I need to know.
How do you really feel about me? Isn't it obvious? I love you.
Ugh! What are you doing?! - Finally telling you! - Nuh! Are you kidding me?! All right, I get it.
I see how it is.
Some cute little heart gauges, some dumb, fluffy movie, that's enough for Sadie.
Right, Lars? Uh, d I-I-I just wanted to fix everything.
Get out! [Grunting.]
Stop.
You're hurting me! - Sadie: Good! - You don't understand! I understand enough! You're only my friend when it's convenient for you.
Just get out of my life! [Gasps.]
I'm not Lars! What?! I'm Steven.
I just woke up this morning with my mind in Lars' body.
Ugh! I didn't mean to hurt your feelings like this.
- I'm sorry.
- Okay.
Maybe you are Steven.
Lars would never apologize to me.
Wait.
So does this mean Lars' mind is inside your body? - I don't know.
- You don't know?! - Maybe we should check? - Ya think? At least we got second place.
[Both panting.]
Hey, look, it's Lars and doughnut girl.
It seems like Lars is really turning a corner.
Oh, speak of the devil.
Where's he going? Who's that girl? - Let's follow him and find out.
- [Chuckling.]
Oh, Martha! [Grunting.]
It's locked.
[Grunts.]
Hyah! Why are they breaking into Steven's house? Our Lars a burglar.
Now, now, you know we've been ready for this day.
[Both panting.]
There you are.
How do you switch back? This looks weird, but don't jump to conclusions.
[All gasp.]
Come on, wake up! [Slaping.]
Steven: [Groaning.]
Aah! - Guhhh - Oh! [Gasps.]
What's going on? Mnh.
Huh? Sadie? [Gasps.]
How did I get here? What are all you doing here?! - Lars, don't get mad.
- Huh?! - But Steven really didn't mean to - You! What did you do?! I spent the day with my mind in your body.
[Gasps.]
Unh! Aah! - Whoa.
Where's your chill? - Buck is no longer pleased.
I'm so sorry.
He wasn't like this this morning.
I was acting weird all day and you all just liked it?! Please don't make a scene, Laramie.
Mnh! [Inhales deeply.]
Daah! [Music.]
[Doorbell chimes.]
Hey, Lars? Um I'm really, really sorry about yesterday.
I got you a card.
It's got a koala and a sloth.
I hope I didn't ruin your friendship with Sadie.
With Sadie?! Oh, what did you say to her? I said you loved her.
[Thud!.]
A-And what did she say? She thought you'd only say something like that to hurt her.
Yeah.
I guess she's right.
Maybe that's why everyone liked the you me - better than the real me.
- Not everyone.
- Uh, hey.
- Hey! [Panting.]
Weird day yesterday, huh? [Chuckles.]
Ugh.
Every day in Beach City is weird.
- That's why I hate it here.
- It's good to see the real you.
Yeah? Uh, uh, you should come over later, you know, bring a movie to watch or something.
- [Laughs.]
Okay.
- Awesome.
Look at you go, I just adore you I wish that I knew what makes you think I'm so special