The A-Team (1983) s03e10 Episode Script
Sheriffs of Rivertown
Freeze! Peace Officers! Who the hell are you? You can call me ''Sheriff.
'' Let's get down to business and go clean up this town.
[screaming.]
[grunting.]
Hey, where do you think you're-- l wear a badge.
You ought to wear a muzzle.
You don't think l really enjoyed that, do you? When you have a small army, you must carry a big stick.
Ready, Murdock? Quick! (Murdock) Adios, amigos.
(male narrator) In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit.
These men promptly escaped from a maximum-security stockade to the Los Angeles underground.
Today, still wanted by the government they survive as soldiers of fortune.
If you have a problem, if no one else can help and if you can find them maybe you can hire the A-Team.
[gun firing.]
My wife and kids are coming in from the States.
Sent me a letter yesterday.
Yeah, l haven't seen that little guy of mine in over a year.
l haven't seen my daughter in eight months.
Her birthday was yesterday.
l get my bonus at the end of this month.
l'm gonna find her the biggest, furriest teddy bear l can.
Thanks.
You're not clocking out yet, boys.
Seems like there's some unfinished work to be done.
We just finished working Company rule says that you can't put in more than 10 hours.
You're forgettin' one thing, Joe.
We're the company out here.
And every now and then, we change the rules.
Now, there's work to be done at Tunnel Eight.
Let's go.
Tunnel Eight? We're not diggers, we're machinists.
Hey, this is crazy.
[groaning.]
Tunnel 8.
What's going on here? Move! [ Once more with love [ [ Once more with love [ [ Baby, this time we'll make it last [ [ Once more with love [ [ Don't let our second chance slip past [ [ Once more with love [ [ Maybe we'll get it right this time [ [ And we can make this moment shine [ [ Once more with love [[ [people applauding.]
[[[rock music playing.]
Lady Luck is with me again today, boys.
ls there room for another lady at your table? [explosions.]
What was that? l guess there's a cave-in.
[siren blaring.]
Tunnel Eight.
We lost seven men.
Seven? (Flint) Kalish was in with them.
Well, can't you do anything? An explosion and fire like that? By the time we put it out, there won't be a trace not even the bodies.
Kalish was a real good machinist.
That's gonna be a loss.
(Boyle) Ante up.
First a hot dog vendor, then a bait salesman, now a cleaning lady, huh? Please sit.
We weren't sure you were coming.
And l'm supposed to be someplace, you can make book on it.
Have a cigar.
Mr.
Lee said that you were extremely cautious.
But let me assure you, we do not work for the military and we are sincere in our plea for help from the A-Team.
As l told Mr.
Lee our oil company is engaged in a joint venture with the government of San Marcos to build a hydraulic power plant.
And when it's completed it will provide more than half of the electrical power to South America.
Now we currently employ over on the project.
We have erected a temporary city on the site to house those workers.
lt's locally known as Rivertown due to its close proximity to the Rio Blanco.
The problem is in the past year over 20 men have been lost to industrial accidents and explosions and their bodies have never been recovered.
Now part of our contract with the government of San Marcos is to provide the security for Rivertown.
Now it's a monumental job and that's why we've sent for the A-Team.
Sounds like you need them bad.
Why are you telling me all this? Because we need you to go in and restore law and order in Rivertown and clean it up.
Me? l can't leave Los Angeles.
l got a sister l take care of.
Now l've been an employee of this company for 10 years-- Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Aren't you Hannibal Smith? Clara Dickerson.
Don't you know your own employees? No, he doesn't, Mrs.
Dickerson.
Gentlemen Hannibal Smith at your service.
You mind if l join you? Yes, sir.
For Pete's sake, Hannibal.
What're you doing? Hey, Face? What? Do you know anything-- Watch your feet! Don't step on the leather! For crying out-- You know this thing's got a shimmy? No, it doesn't.
Yeah, it does.
l hope you didn't spill any of that stuff.
And it starts at about a 105.
And by the time you're at a 1 40, you're in big trouble.
You better get it fixed.
l figure we better stoke our furnaces as we're on our way to San Marcos.
We are the new sheriffs of Rivertown.
Wow! Sheriffs.
l always wanted to get into law enforcement.
l saw every TV Western and never missed a rerun of The Rifleman.
l hope not, Murdock, because it's a tough place.
Hey, Hannibal, what ever happened to the other sheriff they sent to Rivertown? Disappeared without a trace, as they say.
And you said, ''Sounds like a challenge.
'' Face, a lot of people are gonna benefit from this.
(Hannibal) And they agreed to pay our fee.
They even offered to let us take their new executive jet for the trip.
(Murdock) Oh, boy! l hope it's one of those new Lear jobs with the high performance engine.
The thing is capable of near vertical climb, Hey, Hannibal! You know l don't fly.
And l seen this trick before.
You give me a burger and expect me to eat it.
B.
A.
, you know you get cranky on an empty stomach.
Now, eat your burger.
Not this time.
l ain't falling for no sleeping powder in my burger.
l'm taking yours.
Help yourself.
That's fine.
You figured l would think my burger was spiked and take yours.
l'm taking Face's.
Okay.
[Face laughing.]
Wait a minute.
l got it.
You figured l would take your burger get wise to it, then take Face's burger.
And Face's burger is the one that got the sleeping powder in it.
Or Murdock's.
Hey, wait a minute.
l'm hip to you guys.
The one place you would never put sleeping powder and that's in the first burger you gave me.
That much l know.
And he was doing so well.
[chuckles.]
He should be waking up any time now.
Yeah, well, l sure hope these bars are strong 'cause he's gonna be mad.
Not to mention the fact that he ain't never gonna eat lunch with us again.
Well, l don't know, Murdock.
B.
A.
's got a very forgiving heart.
You know, it's gonna be nice being on the right side of the law for a change.
You like that, huh, Face? [imitating gun firing.]
l call these babies Betsy and Bertha.
And as B.
A.
might say: ''l pity the poor man who crosses my path ''because l am ready, willing, and able to take on any bad guy ''who wants a taste of Fast Draw Murdock.
'' [screaming.]
What is this? What is this? Well, after giving it a lot of thought and summing up the situation real quick this is one very mad B.
A.
holding on to the bars of a jail cell from the inside.
Hannibal, let me out of here! You tricked me.
You put me to sleep again! What you got to do, B.
A.
, and l've seen this in all the gangster pictures, is.
[rattling.]
Yell! Call out the warden's name! Hannibal! B.
A.
, l have to swear you in as an official deputy of Rivertown.
(Hannibal) You have to take the oath.
lf l take it, will you let me out? Word of honor.
Face, swear him in.
Put your hand on the Bible.
Raise your right hand.
B.
A.
, this is the Bible.
l, B.
A.
Baracus, will duly uphold all the laws of Rivertown.
l will conduct myself as an honorable Peace Officer and obey, at all times, all the rules of deputyship.
Do you so swear? l swear.
There you go.
Done.
Thanks, Face.
Okay, B.
A.
, you're a free man.
Now, l'm gonna tear you guys apart! But one of the rules is that a Peace Officer may not bring harm to any other Peace Officer.
What? Yes, and you swore to it, and we're all wearing badges.
This ain't fair.
See, it's all nice and shiny.
All right.
Let's get down to business and go clean up this town.
(man #1) l see your $100, and l'll raise you $50.
(man #2) l'm out.
(Boyle) Calls me $50.
(Flint) l see your $100.
l raise you $100.
(Boyle) The old check and raise you.
We got a sandbagger over here, guys.
(Flint) All right, l call you.
l call you.
There you go.
(man #1) l'm in.
(Flint) Aren't you gonna call on a pair of deuces? (Boyle) Well, l don't wanna rush you, pal.
l got three ducks here, three deuces.
(Boyle) Boyle wins again, huh? [gun fires.]
Who the hell are you? l'm the new sheriff.
My name is Hannibal Smith.
But you can call me ''sir.
'' You know who l am? Yeah, your name's Boyle.
You're the main pig slop around here.
There'll be no more gambling.
You and l better have a talk, mister.
Sure.
There seems to be some misunderstanding, Smith.
You see, well, l run this town.
The workers listen to me and well, they're happy and everything runs real smooth.
Now, as for the sheriffs around here, well l take care of them, and they look the other way.
Wrong.
l run the town.
No gambling.
No drinking before shift and l never look the other way.
lt's unfortunate that we don't see eye to eye.
Hey, where do you think you're-- [screaming.]
Freeze! Peace Officers! Nicely put.
Now, l'm gonna put your boys away for simple assault, overnight.
Next time, it'll be six months for assault on a police officer.
Sheriff's office is open Stop in anytime.
[door slams shuts.]
[[[Murdock humming theme from Dragnet.]
[imitating Jack Webb from Dragnet.]
lt's early in the AM.
The city was quiet.
Officer Baracus and l had been assigned to patrol.
The city was at peace with itself but it wasn't going to be that way for long.
And when the peace is broken, that's when l go to work.
l wear a badge.
You ought to wear a muzzle.
Man, why do you talk to yourself like some kind of fool? l'm not talking to myself.
When you talk to yourself, you're alone.
No one hears you.
You happen to be with me.
You hear me, therefore, l am not talking to myself.
[glass shattering.]
Talk to me.
Talk sense, so l can talk back.
Not all this jibber jabber, like breaking the peace and all that.
Okay, okay, fine, but look at that.
Look at that.
Freeze! B.
A.
, you okay? Yeah, man.
Did you see who it was? Yeah, it looked like one of Boyle's men to me.
[grunting.]
We're like brothers on that Bonanza show, ain't we? Go ahead.
Can l call you Hoss? No! Call the colonel.
Murdock, you're sure this was one of Boyle's men? Absolutely.
lt was that guy, Lupis.
He's about 6'3'', built like a bathtub.
But what would they wanna rob here? Nobody leaves anything valuable in the locker.
Nothing but old clothes, letters from home and nothing of value.
''Mr.
Craig Monroe.
'' Then we can find him.
Find out what's going on.
Get a box or something.
We'll take this stuff back to the office.
Box.
(Hannibal) Face, l got something for you to do.
You want me to pick up who? Lupis.
He works for Boyle.
We saw him yesterday.
Oh, yeah.
That's the big one, about 6'4'', built like a chest of drawers? Yeah, that's the guy, guy.
And you be careful.
He almost killed B.
A.
He's at least 6'5'', Now l'm gonna check out his office.
You check out his house.
lf the guy Lupis shows, bag him.
Wait, the guy's 6'6'', he almost killed B.
A.
, and you want me to bag him.
Sure.
Well, you don't care how l go about it, do you, Colonel? No.
Use alacrity.
You can call me ''Sheriff.
'' ''Masters.
''Masterson.
''Monroe, Craig.
'' Colonel.
l mean, Sheriff, you got anything? l'm in Boyle's office now.
No sign of him or Lupis.
What about you? No, Boyle's not home.
How do you know? (Face) 'Cause I'm inside.
The door wasn't locked.
At least, not after l picked it.
God, there's someone coming.
ls it Boyle? Not unless he enters his own place through a window.
lt might be your guy, Lupis.
Wrap him up, and l'll meet you at the sheriff's office.
Sure.
Wrap him up.
Right.
[door opening.]
Wasn't so tough.
Oh, no.
Great.
l just clobbered a girl.
(Face) How low can you sink? lt's a bad sign, Face.
lt won't be long before you'll.
What? You know.
No, know what? You know.
(Hannibal) This Craig Monroe was killed in a cave-in last week.
He was one of their engineers.
(Face) What was an engineer doing on the work site? (Hannibal) Beats me.
And he was killed in a tunnel that had been closed for two months.
Are you talking about Craig Monroe? You better take it easy here.
lt's.
What happened? Who hit me? You didn't see him? No, l don't remember.
(Nikki) What am l doing here? Well, you're in jail.
Burglary's a tough business or do you always make your entrances through a window like Supergirl? l'd like to hear what you know about Craig Monroe.
Craig was my brother.
Well, would you know why your boyfriend or one of his cronies would want to go through your brother's belongings? My.
Oh, you mean that pig, Boyle? That's a nice way to talk about somebody whose house you were found breaking into.
Hey, man, how do we know she's who she says she is? You're right.
We ought to put on the heat.
You wanna play good cop-bad cop? You wanna be the good cop? B.
A.
, it's time for the Main Street patrol.
Take Murdock and stay on the radio.
lf you got any problems, call us.
That bottom letter's from me.
lt's from me to Craig.
lt's the last one l wrote him.
On the second page you can see that l wrote and said that l'd be coming down here to visit him and that Dad would be feeling better.
Okay, you're his sister.
You wrote the letter.
But what were you doing snooping around Boyle's house? Well, after Craig had been killed l went to someone l knew at Amco Oil.
They sort of checked out the records for me.
He told me that there had been two bad accidents down here in the last couple of months so l decided to come down here and see what was really going on.
Craig was an engineer.
He never would have been in that construction dig.
l knew that Boyle ran this place and then l noticed a gold ring that Boyle wears on his little finger.
Well, that was my brother's ring.
So, l decided to play up to Boyle and see what more l could find out.
Well, you played up to him very nicely.
You don't think l really enjoyed that, do you? No, but l'm sure he did.
You were all over him like a wet burnoose.
Well, l didn't find out much.
Except that l do know that he comes to the tavern every night.
And about three times a week, around 10:00 he leaves and doesn't come back until morning.
So l decided to snoop around his place and see if l could find out anything more that would tell me why Craig was in that tunnel.
One of Boyle's men was going through your brother's possessions in the locker.
Now, we've been through it but maybe you could go through his stuff and find something we missed.
Now, whatever Boyle is up to, it has to be more than just ripping off lockers and cheating at cards.
Bet on it.
[metal clinking.]
Wait here.
[speaking Spanish.]
Things seem to be shaping up.
Two days l have been waiting for you.
Two days without a word! Where are the extra men l need? (Boyle) l told you before.
There's a new sheriff and his men l have to deal with.
You told me you could take care of anyone the American pigs sent down.
l can.
All l need is time.
Time? l do not have time.
The men, they do not work fast enough.
And the missile? The missile is just not completed! And l must attack the presidential palace in two days.
l need 10 more men and among them, at least three must be machinists.
And l need another explosives expert.
l brought you Monroe.
(Boyle) Now he has four years training in the United States Army.
He knows more about explosives and guidance missile designs than any man l have.
He has been doing a good job but he gets weaker every day.
l do not know how long he will hang on.
Well, l don't have another man with his background.
So, you'd better keep him alive.
l brought his medication.
Here, this stuff should do it.
Craig's medication.
What medication? Craig was a borderline diabetic and he had to take a pill every morning.
They're gone.
Well, as in-house medical advisor of this group, l can assure you that diabetic medication isn't exactly in demand on the street.
Why would they wanna take his medication? To give it to him? Are you saying that Craig could still be alive? l'm just trying to figure out a reason to go and take his particular medication.
l mean, if they had a legitimate need they'd go to the infirmary and get it right away.
You're saying the cave-in was just a phony.
A smoke screen to spirit Craig away.
Could be.
Could very well be.
[explosion.]
You'd better stay here.
l'm-- No, no, just stay.
[siren blaring.]
(Hannibal) What happened? A cave-in down in shaft number six.
Anybody in there? Reeves, Gunderson, maybe a half dozen more.
They're all gone.
Look, l don't even know why the hell we were working this shaft.
Did this shaft close down like number eight? Yeah, we just opened it up again this morning.
Who gave the orders to open it up? l did.
Guess l messed up.
According to the company, two of those guys who died in that cave-in were electrical technicians.
l still don't understand what electrical technicians were doing in that kind of mineshaft.
Neither do l, Murdock.
(Hannibal) We'd learn a lot if we can just find out where Boyle disappears to? B.
A.
, could you cook up something we could follow this scuzzbucket with? No problem, but where we gonna plant it? We got to get it on him and make sure it stays there until he makes another trip.
You could plant it on his clothes somewhere.
No, Murdock, you change your clothes every day.
l do, but it didn't smell like he did.
No, B.
A.
's right.
Once we plant it on him, we got to be sure it stays on him.
Now, what would he have that he would keep on him all the time? His lighter! His cigarette lighter, he always has that with him.
The only time he even takes it out of his pocket is when he plays cards.
Yeah, he uses it to cheat.
How do you cheat at cards using a lighter? lt's one of the oldest tricks in the book.
lt's called a shiner.
See, he uses the polished surface of the lighter as a mirror and then he deals over the top of it.
He can tell all the cards that everybody's got.
B.
A.
, how small a transmitter could you make for us? About the size of a button.
lt'd fit right into the lighter.
That's gonna be impossible.
Look, l told you, he never lets that lighter leave his sight.
The only time he takes it out of his pocket is when he plays cards and then it stays right on the table.
Well, it wouldn't if somebody tipped the table over.
But you told them not to play cards anymore.
My dear, a leopard can't change his spots.
And a poker player cannot stop playing poker.
[[[music playing.]
[sneezes.]
Murdock? l'm sorry.
l think we better make that entrance again.
Look, Murdock, l think they recognize us as the guys who shut down their playground so you better watch my back.
Who's gonna watch mine? Face, your back, it's looking good.
Tender give me milk.
[cans crushing.]
l'll call your $10 and raise you $15.
Well, now, isn't this nice? Who's winning? lt was just a friendly game.
We weren't using any money.
Oh, thanks.
Well, this is just a friendly roust.
We're not using any money, either.
Don't drain your brain getting any ideas, sugar.
Right! Now, spread them.
Up against the wall, come on.
l told your sheriff, you're gonna push me too far.
Let me tell you something, sport if our sheriff ever decided to push you as far as he can you'd drop off the edge and no one would hear you scream.
You know you really should find better specimens to kill your time with.
Why don't you mosey, so l don't have to watch my language? Attagirl.
All right, Murdock, read these Cro-Magnons the riot act.
What we have here, fellas is a failure to communicate.
(Murdock) As gambling, that's right, brothers and sisters.
Gambling is the root of all evil.
lt is the mother of all sinful invention.
Who? Who? Who is the first cousin to the gambler in us all? lt is the drinker in us all.
That's right, brothers and sisters B-O-W-Z, booze! l was just about to get to smoking.
You guys are real tough wearing those badges.
Well, we like to think so.
l did not say the sermon was over.
l ain't even passed the basket yet.
lt's over as far as l'm concerned.
You guys are treading in white water.
Oh, come on, let's just go before they lock you up.
You wanna lock me up? Go ahead.
Otherwise, l'm gonna go and do as l please.
[beeping.]
Now l got to tell you, you were pretty good at getting that lighter back into Boyle's pocket.
Just pretty good? Oh, come on, l thought l was terrific.
At least, as good as you were at getting it out.
Well, we're not on an even keel.
l mean, you have certain built-in distractions.
Which is not to say l'm unimpressed.
Neither am l.
Hey, man, Boyle's on the move.
Let's go.
A cave? What's he doing in a cave? lt makes sense to me.
Most of the slimes l know hang out in caves.
He's on the move again.
Looks like he headed toward Rivertown.
[transmitter beeping.]
Okay.
Let's see what's so interesting about this cave.
Let's get to the jeep, B.
A.
(Face) Boy, oh, boy, l sure hope there aren't bats in here.
(Murdock) You mean flying mammals? Yeah.
(Hannibal) Shh.
Listen.
(Face) Sounds like machinery.
[Hannibal whispering.]
Okay, very quietly now.
Come on.
[water dripping.]
[machinery whirring.]
l don't believe this.
The missing men.
(Hannibal) That missile is very similar to our X-1 2.
Yeah, you could blow up a tank with that thing.
[footsteps approaching.]
(Boyle) That's correct.
All right, put your weapons down here.
l'd like you to meet my friend, Capt.
Cordoba.
You know, your moves aren't any better than my lady friend over here.
And he sent that homing device back to Rivertown with one of my men, it made you think l left.
You're not the only one that can play a good con game.
Nikki, you wanted to meet your brother, huh, sweetheart? Craig! Nikki! An ambitious project, Cordoba.
When you have a small army, you must carry a big stick.
And in this case, a missile.
l will be able to secure the presidential palace within a couple of minutes.
With an army as small as mine.
The presidential security suspects nothing.
No ammo depots have been hit nothing traceable has been smuggled into the country.
The element of surprise is the key.
And you've been supplying the work force, right, Boyle? lt's nice.
What do you get out of it? As soon as Cordoba takes over the presidential palace he'll be running the country and l'm sure he'll find something interesting for me to do.
Move! Well, excuse us, gentlemen.
We no longer need you, the men, nor the machine shop.
[all coughing.]
Face? Murdock? See how bad it is? (Murdock) You got it! (Face) Right.
Hey, B.
A.
, let's see what we got in here? (Face) l'll be darned.
(Murdock) We're never gonna get out of here.
We need a bulldozer to get through there.
Yeah, it's just our luck.
l don't see any.
l'd better go enlighten the colonel.
All right.
They don't wanna see this.
l'm gonna put it out.
All right.
l can't get it out! (Face) Come on, Murdock! Wait a minute.
l'll be there.
Well, Cordoba, l won't be needing this.
Keep it, Boyle.
We need your expertise.
Besides, your adventurous self will enjoy the attack.
Thought you'd never ask.
Good! Well, what's the story? Well, did you ever hear of King Tut? We ain't ever getting out of there, Colonel.
Hey, man, the first time ever we have guns and ammo.
(B.
A.
) And can't get out of here.
Well, the lights seem to be staying on.
That means the exhaust fans are working, too.
Oh, really? Hey, Face, you got a cigar? When's the last time l didn't have a cigar for you? Okay, now, this is the plan.
All right, Murdock.
l like it.
Good work, B.
A.
l don't believe it.
We did it! All right! Come on, Face! We go in right after the launch, huh? President Ortega is in for a big surprise, no? [Cordoba laughing.]
Ready, Murdock? Quick! [explosions.]
You, to the jeep! Charge them! Hannibal, we need more potato sticks! Got a fly on our tail.
Give yourself up, gentlemen! You do not have a chance! Throw out your weapons! You want our weapons? Okay.
Here, here's the bullets first.
(Face) lt's Craig and the workers from the mine.
All right! Sheriffs of Rivertown, l'm gonna miss this job.
Hey, if it weren't for you guys, there wouldn't even be a Rivertown.
Yeah, there wouldn't be a Craig Monroe, either.
So, if you ever come to Oklahoma, you should look us up.
l'll fix you one of my special home-cooked meals.
Just do me a favor and promise not to make any fists.
Yeah, well, actually fighting's not really my strong suit.
l'm much more adept at romantic endeavors.
[groaning.]
lf you don't wanna miss the plane, you better get a move on.
Yeah.
You ready, sis? Yeah.
Thanks again.
(Hannibal) Good luck.
Adios, amigos.
Speaking of planes, Hannibal.
(Face) Now, wait.
What? Oh, B.
A.
, you're not mad just because [stuttering.]
we flew you down here? Now, wait a minute, wait a minute! Remember your oath as a deputy not to hurt other deputies.
l see three badges on the table.
That means you are civilians.
l still got my badge.
And as the official law officer of Rivertown l'm giving you guys two days in jail.
l love it when a plan comes together.
'' Let's get down to business and go clean up this town.
[screaming.]
[grunting.]
Hey, where do you think you're-- l wear a badge.
You ought to wear a muzzle.
You don't think l really enjoyed that, do you? When you have a small army, you must carry a big stick.
Ready, Murdock? Quick! (Murdock) Adios, amigos.
(male narrator) In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit.
These men promptly escaped from a maximum-security stockade to the Los Angeles underground.
Today, still wanted by the government they survive as soldiers of fortune.
If you have a problem, if no one else can help and if you can find them maybe you can hire the A-Team.
[gun firing.]
My wife and kids are coming in from the States.
Sent me a letter yesterday.
Yeah, l haven't seen that little guy of mine in over a year.
l haven't seen my daughter in eight months.
Her birthday was yesterday.
l get my bonus at the end of this month.
l'm gonna find her the biggest, furriest teddy bear l can.
Thanks.
You're not clocking out yet, boys.
Seems like there's some unfinished work to be done.
We just finished working Company rule says that you can't put in more than 10 hours.
You're forgettin' one thing, Joe.
We're the company out here.
And every now and then, we change the rules.
Now, there's work to be done at Tunnel Eight.
Let's go.
Tunnel Eight? We're not diggers, we're machinists.
Hey, this is crazy.
[groaning.]
Tunnel 8.
What's going on here? Move! [ Once more with love [ [ Once more with love [ [ Baby, this time we'll make it last [ [ Once more with love [ [ Don't let our second chance slip past [ [ Once more with love [ [ Maybe we'll get it right this time [ [ And we can make this moment shine [ [ Once more with love [[ [people applauding.]
[[[rock music playing.]
Lady Luck is with me again today, boys.
ls there room for another lady at your table? [explosions.]
What was that? l guess there's a cave-in.
[siren blaring.]
Tunnel Eight.
We lost seven men.
Seven? (Flint) Kalish was in with them.
Well, can't you do anything? An explosion and fire like that? By the time we put it out, there won't be a trace not even the bodies.
Kalish was a real good machinist.
That's gonna be a loss.
(Boyle) Ante up.
First a hot dog vendor, then a bait salesman, now a cleaning lady, huh? Please sit.
We weren't sure you were coming.
And l'm supposed to be someplace, you can make book on it.
Have a cigar.
Mr.
Lee said that you were extremely cautious.
But let me assure you, we do not work for the military and we are sincere in our plea for help from the A-Team.
As l told Mr.
Lee our oil company is engaged in a joint venture with the government of San Marcos to build a hydraulic power plant.
And when it's completed it will provide more than half of the electrical power to South America.
Now we currently employ over on the project.
We have erected a temporary city on the site to house those workers.
lt's locally known as Rivertown due to its close proximity to the Rio Blanco.
The problem is in the past year over 20 men have been lost to industrial accidents and explosions and their bodies have never been recovered.
Now part of our contract with the government of San Marcos is to provide the security for Rivertown.
Now it's a monumental job and that's why we've sent for the A-Team.
Sounds like you need them bad.
Why are you telling me all this? Because we need you to go in and restore law and order in Rivertown and clean it up.
Me? l can't leave Los Angeles.
l got a sister l take care of.
Now l've been an employee of this company for 10 years-- Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Aren't you Hannibal Smith? Clara Dickerson.
Don't you know your own employees? No, he doesn't, Mrs.
Dickerson.
Gentlemen Hannibal Smith at your service.
You mind if l join you? Yes, sir.
For Pete's sake, Hannibal.
What're you doing? Hey, Face? What? Do you know anything-- Watch your feet! Don't step on the leather! For crying out-- You know this thing's got a shimmy? No, it doesn't.
Yeah, it does.
l hope you didn't spill any of that stuff.
And it starts at about a 105.
And by the time you're at a 1 40, you're in big trouble.
You better get it fixed.
l figure we better stoke our furnaces as we're on our way to San Marcos.
We are the new sheriffs of Rivertown.
Wow! Sheriffs.
l always wanted to get into law enforcement.
l saw every TV Western and never missed a rerun of The Rifleman.
l hope not, Murdock, because it's a tough place.
Hey, Hannibal, what ever happened to the other sheriff they sent to Rivertown? Disappeared without a trace, as they say.
And you said, ''Sounds like a challenge.
'' Face, a lot of people are gonna benefit from this.
(Hannibal) And they agreed to pay our fee.
They even offered to let us take their new executive jet for the trip.
(Murdock) Oh, boy! l hope it's one of those new Lear jobs with the high performance engine.
The thing is capable of near vertical climb, Hey, Hannibal! You know l don't fly.
And l seen this trick before.
You give me a burger and expect me to eat it.
B.
A.
, you know you get cranky on an empty stomach.
Now, eat your burger.
Not this time.
l ain't falling for no sleeping powder in my burger.
l'm taking yours.
Help yourself.
That's fine.
You figured l would think my burger was spiked and take yours.
l'm taking Face's.
Okay.
[Face laughing.]
Wait a minute.
l got it.
You figured l would take your burger get wise to it, then take Face's burger.
And Face's burger is the one that got the sleeping powder in it.
Or Murdock's.
Hey, wait a minute.
l'm hip to you guys.
The one place you would never put sleeping powder and that's in the first burger you gave me.
That much l know.
And he was doing so well.
[chuckles.]
He should be waking up any time now.
Yeah, well, l sure hope these bars are strong 'cause he's gonna be mad.
Not to mention the fact that he ain't never gonna eat lunch with us again.
Well, l don't know, Murdock.
B.
A.
's got a very forgiving heart.
You know, it's gonna be nice being on the right side of the law for a change.
You like that, huh, Face? [imitating gun firing.]
l call these babies Betsy and Bertha.
And as B.
A.
might say: ''l pity the poor man who crosses my path ''because l am ready, willing, and able to take on any bad guy ''who wants a taste of Fast Draw Murdock.
'' [screaming.]
What is this? What is this? Well, after giving it a lot of thought and summing up the situation real quick this is one very mad B.
A.
holding on to the bars of a jail cell from the inside.
Hannibal, let me out of here! You tricked me.
You put me to sleep again! What you got to do, B.
A.
, and l've seen this in all the gangster pictures, is.
[rattling.]
Yell! Call out the warden's name! Hannibal! B.
A.
, l have to swear you in as an official deputy of Rivertown.
(Hannibal) You have to take the oath.
lf l take it, will you let me out? Word of honor.
Face, swear him in.
Put your hand on the Bible.
Raise your right hand.
B.
A.
, this is the Bible.
l, B.
A.
Baracus, will duly uphold all the laws of Rivertown.
l will conduct myself as an honorable Peace Officer and obey, at all times, all the rules of deputyship.
Do you so swear? l swear.
There you go.
Done.
Thanks, Face.
Okay, B.
A.
, you're a free man.
Now, l'm gonna tear you guys apart! But one of the rules is that a Peace Officer may not bring harm to any other Peace Officer.
What? Yes, and you swore to it, and we're all wearing badges.
This ain't fair.
See, it's all nice and shiny.
All right.
Let's get down to business and go clean up this town.
(man #1) l see your $100, and l'll raise you $50.
(man #2) l'm out.
(Boyle) Calls me $50.
(Flint) l see your $100.
l raise you $100.
(Boyle) The old check and raise you.
We got a sandbagger over here, guys.
(Flint) All right, l call you.
l call you.
There you go.
(man #1) l'm in.
(Flint) Aren't you gonna call on a pair of deuces? (Boyle) Well, l don't wanna rush you, pal.
l got three ducks here, three deuces.
(Boyle) Boyle wins again, huh? [gun fires.]
Who the hell are you? l'm the new sheriff.
My name is Hannibal Smith.
But you can call me ''sir.
'' You know who l am? Yeah, your name's Boyle.
You're the main pig slop around here.
There'll be no more gambling.
You and l better have a talk, mister.
Sure.
There seems to be some misunderstanding, Smith.
You see, well, l run this town.
The workers listen to me and well, they're happy and everything runs real smooth.
Now, as for the sheriffs around here, well l take care of them, and they look the other way.
Wrong.
l run the town.
No gambling.
No drinking before shift and l never look the other way.
lt's unfortunate that we don't see eye to eye.
Hey, where do you think you're-- [screaming.]
Freeze! Peace Officers! Nicely put.
Now, l'm gonna put your boys away for simple assault, overnight.
Next time, it'll be six months for assault on a police officer.
Sheriff's office is open Stop in anytime.
[door slams shuts.]
[[[Murdock humming theme from Dragnet.]
[imitating Jack Webb from Dragnet.]
lt's early in the AM.
The city was quiet.
Officer Baracus and l had been assigned to patrol.
The city was at peace with itself but it wasn't going to be that way for long.
And when the peace is broken, that's when l go to work.
l wear a badge.
You ought to wear a muzzle.
Man, why do you talk to yourself like some kind of fool? l'm not talking to myself.
When you talk to yourself, you're alone.
No one hears you.
You happen to be with me.
You hear me, therefore, l am not talking to myself.
[glass shattering.]
Talk to me.
Talk sense, so l can talk back.
Not all this jibber jabber, like breaking the peace and all that.
Okay, okay, fine, but look at that.
Look at that.
Freeze! B.
A.
, you okay? Yeah, man.
Did you see who it was? Yeah, it looked like one of Boyle's men to me.
[grunting.]
We're like brothers on that Bonanza show, ain't we? Go ahead.
Can l call you Hoss? No! Call the colonel.
Murdock, you're sure this was one of Boyle's men? Absolutely.
lt was that guy, Lupis.
He's about 6'3'', built like a bathtub.
But what would they wanna rob here? Nobody leaves anything valuable in the locker.
Nothing but old clothes, letters from home and nothing of value.
''Mr.
Craig Monroe.
'' Then we can find him.
Find out what's going on.
Get a box or something.
We'll take this stuff back to the office.
Box.
(Hannibal) Face, l got something for you to do.
You want me to pick up who? Lupis.
He works for Boyle.
We saw him yesterday.
Oh, yeah.
That's the big one, about 6'4'', built like a chest of drawers? Yeah, that's the guy, guy.
And you be careful.
He almost killed B.
A.
He's at least 6'5'', Now l'm gonna check out his office.
You check out his house.
lf the guy Lupis shows, bag him.
Wait, the guy's 6'6'', he almost killed B.
A.
, and you want me to bag him.
Sure.
Well, you don't care how l go about it, do you, Colonel? No.
Use alacrity.
You can call me ''Sheriff.
'' ''Masters.
''Masterson.
''Monroe, Craig.
'' Colonel.
l mean, Sheriff, you got anything? l'm in Boyle's office now.
No sign of him or Lupis.
What about you? No, Boyle's not home.
How do you know? (Face) 'Cause I'm inside.
The door wasn't locked.
At least, not after l picked it.
God, there's someone coming.
ls it Boyle? Not unless he enters his own place through a window.
lt might be your guy, Lupis.
Wrap him up, and l'll meet you at the sheriff's office.
Sure.
Wrap him up.
Right.
[door opening.]
Wasn't so tough.
Oh, no.
Great.
l just clobbered a girl.
(Face) How low can you sink? lt's a bad sign, Face.
lt won't be long before you'll.
What? You know.
No, know what? You know.
(Hannibal) This Craig Monroe was killed in a cave-in last week.
He was one of their engineers.
(Face) What was an engineer doing on the work site? (Hannibal) Beats me.
And he was killed in a tunnel that had been closed for two months.
Are you talking about Craig Monroe? You better take it easy here.
lt's.
What happened? Who hit me? You didn't see him? No, l don't remember.
(Nikki) What am l doing here? Well, you're in jail.
Burglary's a tough business or do you always make your entrances through a window like Supergirl? l'd like to hear what you know about Craig Monroe.
Craig was my brother.
Well, would you know why your boyfriend or one of his cronies would want to go through your brother's belongings? My.
Oh, you mean that pig, Boyle? That's a nice way to talk about somebody whose house you were found breaking into.
Hey, man, how do we know she's who she says she is? You're right.
We ought to put on the heat.
You wanna play good cop-bad cop? You wanna be the good cop? B.
A.
, it's time for the Main Street patrol.
Take Murdock and stay on the radio.
lf you got any problems, call us.
That bottom letter's from me.
lt's from me to Craig.
lt's the last one l wrote him.
On the second page you can see that l wrote and said that l'd be coming down here to visit him and that Dad would be feeling better.
Okay, you're his sister.
You wrote the letter.
But what were you doing snooping around Boyle's house? Well, after Craig had been killed l went to someone l knew at Amco Oil.
They sort of checked out the records for me.
He told me that there had been two bad accidents down here in the last couple of months so l decided to come down here and see what was really going on.
Craig was an engineer.
He never would have been in that construction dig.
l knew that Boyle ran this place and then l noticed a gold ring that Boyle wears on his little finger.
Well, that was my brother's ring.
So, l decided to play up to Boyle and see what more l could find out.
Well, you played up to him very nicely.
You don't think l really enjoyed that, do you? No, but l'm sure he did.
You were all over him like a wet burnoose.
Well, l didn't find out much.
Except that l do know that he comes to the tavern every night.
And about three times a week, around 10:00 he leaves and doesn't come back until morning.
So l decided to snoop around his place and see if l could find out anything more that would tell me why Craig was in that tunnel.
One of Boyle's men was going through your brother's possessions in the locker.
Now, we've been through it but maybe you could go through his stuff and find something we missed.
Now, whatever Boyle is up to, it has to be more than just ripping off lockers and cheating at cards.
Bet on it.
[metal clinking.]
Wait here.
[speaking Spanish.]
Things seem to be shaping up.
Two days l have been waiting for you.
Two days without a word! Where are the extra men l need? (Boyle) l told you before.
There's a new sheriff and his men l have to deal with.
You told me you could take care of anyone the American pigs sent down.
l can.
All l need is time.
Time? l do not have time.
The men, they do not work fast enough.
And the missile? The missile is just not completed! And l must attack the presidential palace in two days.
l need 10 more men and among them, at least three must be machinists.
And l need another explosives expert.
l brought you Monroe.
(Boyle) Now he has four years training in the United States Army.
He knows more about explosives and guidance missile designs than any man l have.
He has been doing a good job but he gets weaker every day.
l do not know how long he will hang on.
Well, l don't have another man with his background.
So, you'd better keep him alive.
l brought his medication.
Here, this stuff should do it.
Craig's medication.
What medication? Craig was a borderline diabetic and he had to take a pill every morning.
They're gone.
Well, as in-house medical advisor of this group, l can assure you that diabetic medication isn't exactly in demand on the street.
Why would they wanna take his medication? To give it to him? Are you saying that Craig could still be alive? l'm just trying to figure out a reason to go and take his particular medication.
l mean, if they had a legitimate need they'd go to the infirmary and get it right away.
You're saying the cave-in was just a phony.
A smoke screen to spirit Craig away.
Could be.
Could very well be.
[explosion.]
You'd better stay here.
l'm-- No, no, just stay.
[siren blaring.]
(Hannibal) What happened? A cave-in down in shaft number six.
Anybody in there? Reeves, Gunderson, maybe a half dozen more.
They're all gone.
Look, l don't even know why the hell we were working this shaft.
Did this shaft close down like number eight? Yeah, we just opened it up again this morning.
Who gave the orders to open it up? l did.
Guess l messed up.
According to the company, two of those guys who died in that cave-in were electrical technicians.
l still don't understand what electrical technicians were doing in that kind of mineshaft.
Neither do l, Murdock.
(Hannibal) We'd learn a lot if we can just find out where Boyle disappears to? B.
A.
, could you cook up something we could follow this scuzzbucket with? No problem, but where we gonna plant it? We got to get it on him and make sure it stays there until he makes another trip.
You could plant it on his clothes somewhere.
No, Murdock, you change your clothes every day.
l do, but it didn't smell like he did.
No, B.
A.
's right.
Once we plant it on him, we got to be sure it stays on him.
Now, what would he have that he would keep on him all the time? His lighter! His cigarette lighter, he always has that with him.
The only time he even takes it out of his pocket is when he plays cards.
Yeah, he uses it to cheat.
How do you cheat at cards using a lighter? lt's one of the oldest tricks in the book.
lt's called a shiner.
See, he uses the polished surface of the lighter as a mirror and then he deals over the top of it.
He can tell all the cards that everybody's got.
B.
A.
, how small a transmitter could you make for us? About the size of a button.
lt'd fit right into the lighter.
That's gonna be impossible.
Look, l told you, he never lets that lighter leave his sight.
The only time he takes it out of his pocket is when he plays cards and then it stays right on the table.
Well, it wouldn't if somebody tipped the table over.
But you told them not to play cards anymore.
My dear, a leopard can't change his spots.
And a poker player cannot stop playing poker.
[[[music playing.]
[sneezes.]
Murdock? l'm sorry.
l think we better make that entrance again.
Look, Murdock, l think they recognize us as the guys who shut down their playground so you better watch my back.
Who's gonna watch mine? Face, your back, it's looking good.
Tender give me milk.
[cans crushing.]
l'll call your $10 and raise you $15.
Well, now, isn't this nice? Who's winning? lt was just a friendly game.
We weren't using any money.
Oh, thanks.
Well, this is just a friendly roust.
We're not using any money, either.
Don't drain your brain getting any ideas, sugar.
Right! Now, spread them.
Up against the wall, come on.
l told your sheriff, you're gonna push me too far.
Let me tell you something, sport if our sheriff ever decided to push you as far as he can you'd drop off the edge and no one would hear you scream.
You know you really should find better specimens to kill your time with.
Why don't you mosey, so l don't have to watch my language? Attagirl.
All right, Murdock, read these Cro-Magnons the riot act.
What we have here, fellas is a failure to communicate.
(Murdock) As gambling, that's right, brothers and sisters.
Gambling is the root of all evil.
lt is the mother of all sinful invention.
Who? Who? Who is the first cousin to the gambler in us all? lt is the drinker in us all.
That's right, brothers and sisters B-O-W-Z, booze! l was just about to get to smoking.
You guys are real tough wearing those badges.
Well, we like to think so.
l did not say the sermon was over.
l ain't even passed the basket yet.
lt's over as far as l'm concerned.
You guys are treading in white water.
Oh, come on, let's just go before they lock you up.
You wanna lock me up? Go ahead.
Otherwise, l'm gonna go and do as l please.
[beeping.]
Now l got to tell you, you were pretty good at getting that lighter back into Boyle's pocket.
Just pretty good? Oh, come on, l thought l was terrific.
At least, as good as you were at getting it out.
Well, we're not on an even keel.
l mean, you have certain built-in distractions.
Which is not to say l'm unimpressed.
Neither am l.
Hey, man, Boyle's on the move.
Let's go.
A cave? What's he doing in a cave? lt makes sense to me.
Most of the slimes l know hang out in caves.
He's on the move again.
Looks like he headed toward Rivertown.
[transmitter beeping.]
Okay.
Let's see what's so interesting about this cave.
Let's get to the jeep, B.
A.
(Face) Boy, oh, boy, l sure hope there aren't bats in here.
(Murdock) You mean flying mammals? Yeah.
(Hannibal) Shh.
Listen.
(Face) Sounds like machinery.
[Hannibal whispering.]
Okay, very quietly now.
Come on.
[water dripping.]
[machinery whirring.]
l don't believe this.
The missing men.
(Hannibal) That missile is very similar to our X-1 2.
Yeah, you could blow up a tank with that thing.
[footsteps approaching.]
(Boyle) That's correct.
All right, put your weapons down here.
l'd like you to meet my friend, Capt.
Cordoba.
You know, your moves aren't any better than my lady friend over here.
And he sent that homing device back to Rivertown with one of my men, it made you think l left.
You're not the only one that can play a good con game.
Nikki, you wanted to meet your brother, huh, sweetheart? Craig! Nikki! An ambitious project, Cordoba.
When you have a small army, you must carry a big stick.
And in this case, a missile.
l will be able to secure the presidential palace within a couple of minutes.
With an army as small as mine.
The presidential security suspects nothing.
No ammo depots have been hit nothing traceable has been smuggled into the country.
The element of surprise is the key.
And you've been supplying the work force, right, Boyle? lt's nice.
What do you get out of it? As soon as Cordoba takes over the presidential palace he'll be running the country and l'm sure he'll find something interesting for me to do.
Move! Well, excuse us, gentlemen.
We no longer need you, the men, nor the machine shop.
[all coughing.]
Face? Murdock? See how bad it is? (Murdock) You got it! (Face) Right.
Hey, B.
A.
, let's see what we got in here? (Face) l'll be darned.
(Murdock) We're never gonna get out of here.
We need a bulldozer to get through there.
Yeah, it's just our luck.
l don't see any.
l'd better go enlighten the colonel.
All right.
They don't wanna see this.
l'm gonna put it out.
All right.
l can't get it out! (Face) Come on, Murdock! Wait a minute.
l'll be there.
Well, Cordoba, l won't be needing this.
Keep it, Boyle.
We need your expertise.
Besides, your adventurous self will enjoy the attack.
Thought you'd never ask.
Good! Well, what's the story? Well, did you ever hear of King Tut? We ain't ever getting out of there, Colonel.
Hey, man, the first time ever we have guns and ammo.
(B.
A.
) And can't get out of here.
Well, the lights seem to be staying on.
That means the exhaust fans are working, too.
Oh, really? Hey, Face, you got a cigar? When's the last time l didn't have a cigar for you? Okay, now, this is the plan.
All right, Murdock.
l like it.
Good work, B.
A.
l don't believe it.
We did it! All right! Come on, Face! We go in right after the launch, huh? President Ortega is in for a big surprise, no? [Cordoba laughing.]
Ready, Murdock? Quick! [explosions.]
You, to the jeep! Charge them! Hannibal, we need more potato sticks! Got a fly on our tail.
Give yourself up, gentlemen! You do not have a chance! Throw out your weapons! You want our weapons? Okay.
Here, here's the bullets first.
(Face) lt's Craig and the workers from the mine.
All right! Sheriffs of Rivertown, l'm gonna miss this job.
Hey, if it weren't for you guys, there wouldn't even be a Rivertown.
Yeah, there wouldn't be a Craig Monroe, either.
So, if you ever come to Oklahoma, you should look us up.
l'll fix you one of my special home-cooked meals.
Just do me a favor and promise not to make any fists.
Yeah, well, actually fighting's not really my strong suit.
l'm much more adept at romantic endeavors.
[groaning.]
lf you don't wanna miss the plane, you better get a move on.
Yeah.
You ready, sis? Yeah.
Thanks again.
(Hannibal) Good luck.
Adios, amigos.
Speaking of planes, Hannibal.
(Face) Now, wait.
What? Oh, B.
A.
, you're not mad just because [stuttering.]
we flew you down here? Now, wait a minute, wait a minute! Remember your oath as a deputy not to hurt other deputies.
l see three badges on the table.
That means you are civilians.
l still got my badge.
And as the official law officer of Rivertown l'm giving you guys two days in jail.
l love it when a plan comes together.