The L Word: Generation Q (2019) s03e10 Episode Script

1
Generation Q
I'd like another chance
to get better at this.
My mom died.
I can't do anything
that's too real right now.
God, I love you.
Call me when that heart
heals. I'll come running.
Let's just cancel the finale.
It's not fucking worth it.
- What are you gonna do?
- I'm gonna make a fucking show.
Piddles!
My cat is stuck in a tree.
- Hi, Alice.
- Thank you very much,
everybody, present company excluded.
That's the guy, that's her ex.
Hey! Get away from my daughter!
Can you believe how wrong they
all are about the situation?
They're right.
He has all the power.
I still really want to be friends.
I'm still in love with you.
So, no dice for now.
Why do you get
to make up all the rules?
You get to fuck whoever you want.
I can't do this anymore.
- "I am grateful for my donor."
- Donor for what?
- Baby.
- Baby.
I want to spend the
rest of my life with you.
Same.
- I love you.
- I love you, too.
We got the cake right here, Alice.
- Oh, great, thanks so much.
- You want it in the fridge?
Um, yeah, the walk-in
fridge will be great.
- I did it, I got the cake.
- You want these on the tables?
I don't know about weddings.
Don't ask me questions.
- Two hours till guests arrive.
- Thanks. Why am I doing this?
Where is the wedding planner?
- Tristan for Kimmy?
- Go for Kimmy, go for Kimmy.
Can you come to the garden?
No, I can't, I'm reading emails.
- Hi, there.
- Hi.
This is actually empty,
but if you want to go
just across the property,
there's another bathroom
just past the big tree, keep
walking, you can't miss it.
That's a pretty dress.
- Beautiful.
- Yeah. Nice color.
Bye-bye.
Okay, clear.
Oh, fuck.
Oh, my God, you're so hot.
Oh, God. Don't look at me.
Sorry I'm wearing hippie deodorant.
Oh, fuck.
Did you, um, put the favors
in the center of the table,
like right there by the entrance?
- Yeah.
- You know, I
just want to make sure
everybody knows to grab them
- when they're walking out.
- They'll know.
Do you think the heat is on in here?
It's like so hot.
Does this open?
There's no latch.
Oh, my God, it doesn't open.
I'm hot. Are you hot?
You think maybe it's possible
that you're having a hot flash?
Ugh, what? No. I can't be.
I-I think the heat's on in there.
Here, come get a glass of water.
No, I
- I'm done with all that, right?
- Happy wedding day.
- Wow, you look amazing.
- Really? Thanks.
Yeah, I thought so, too.
I couldn't decide on a dress, but
Oh, I can see that.
- So you got a twofer.
- I did.
Um, listen, good news.
The cake has arrived.
It is here. My job is done.
Thanks for handling that.
- Yeah.
- And the booze.
The ?
You were responsible for
the cake and the booze.
- Cake and the booze, I know.
- Yeah.
Tina, I almost finished your sentence.
The cake and booze. I've
been saying it all week.
Ugh, I'm burning up.
Oh, my God. I'm burning up.
The heat's on in here. I just know it.
Can you see my sweat
- through this shirt?
- You know what?
- Why don't we
- This is a nightmare.
Come on, let's go find a
place for you to cool off.
Good idea. I think the walls in here
It's gonna be such a great day.
are just starting to close in.
I-I saw an ice machine down the hall.
I have a better idea.
Fuck me. Okay
Oh, my God. How am I ?
Hi. Oh, hi.
- How are you?
- Great.
- What?
- Bad news.
- Already?
- Yeah. No alcohol.
Wasn't that your job?
Yeah, but Actually,
why wasn't it your job?
- You own a bar.
- Because I did their hair.
- Well, that's true, I guess.
- Yeah.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- Hi.
- Hi to you.
- Hello to you.
- Yeah.
Uh, thank you so much
for your help back there.
- Absolutely.
- Oh, yeah.
I mean, I'm a Capricorn moon, so
- I love to serve.
- Oh, yeah.
- Pragmatic.
- Absolutely.
- You might want to
- Oh, fuck.
- That's, uh
- Anyway, I want to
- double-check with that.
- Sorry, hold on. Yeah, yeah?
The fucking roses keep stabbing me.
Okay, there's no need to
pop an attitude, Tristan.
- Busy?
- I wasn't the one who was
supposed to de-thorn the
roses. Okay, you know what?
- I'm coming, I'm coming.
- Yeah, come now.
Just keep coming all day. Uh-huh. Yep.
So you did the hair and
you did the wedding planner.
Okay. I hate to tell you this.
- What?
- We have to call Tess.
I don't think so, I haven't
spoken to her since she threw
a bottle at my fucking head.
Okay. It is Bette and
Tina's wedding day.
There is no champagne for the toast.
There is no Aperol for an Aperol spritz.
Shane, you got to call her, I'm sorry.
Oh, my God.
Hey.
- Hi.
- I was hoping that was you.
Yeah
You, uh You got to
come over to see the new place.
I would love that.
- Yeah?
- Yes.
It's a sublet.
Because I don't know about
school yet, so it's not perfect.
That's okay.
Like you got to clap before
you go into the bathroom
because there's So
the roaches scatter.
You're-you're joking, right?
No. And the stove doesn't work.
- How are you gonna eat, sweetie?
- It's gonna be great.
I'm gonna go get my
toaster from Sophie's.
It's a good one, multifunctional.
I don't have any furniture really.
- It's kind of bare bones in there.
- I don't have any
- I have to get all new stuff.
- Oh, no. You're sad. I'm sorry.
Hey. You okay?
Ugh, I just can't believe
that this is my life right now.
Okay, well, fuck Shane.
You don't have to say that,
I know that you love her.
No, I don't, I love you.
Come here.
You're so cute.
You want to come stay
at mine for a while?
Mm, no, the roaches were
not a good selling point. No.
But I'm gonna be there.
Oh. Um It's Shane.
Basically, they told you they love you
and you ghosted them.
Oh. Look at that, the
flower budget very high, huh?
- Yeah. It's really good.
- How the hell did they
pull this big-ass wedding off?
Well, everybody did something.
- Oh.
- I found the place.
- You did?
- Mm-hmm. Yeah.
I know the family who owns the property.
Oh, who owns it?
- Okay, so
- D-Bag!
Hi, babe!
Hi.
Yeah, that makes sense.
Oh.
- Damn, Soph, you look hot.
- Doesn't she?
Good. I'm trying to
get laid tonight, so
Oh, shit. There's Alice.
Hide me, hide me, hide me.
- Hide me, hide me.
- She's not gonna fire you.
Well, she hasn't spoken
to me in, like, two weeks.
- You're on hiatus.
- I aired the finale without her.
- And you fucking crushed it, okay?
- I did. I did do that, didn't I?
- You did.
- If she does fire you,
I can get you a gig as an
adventure guide in Costa Rica.
- It's a fucking blast.
- Oh, my God.
You're so funny. Thank you.
- Yeah.
- Okay, you know what?
- I'm gonna go talk to her.
- Do it.
- Wish me luck.
- Mm-hmm.
- Go get 'em.
- Going.
Let's get something to drink.
- Oh, there's, uh, no booze here.
- There's no booze?
No, but, uh
I got molly.
Oh, uh, no. No, no,
molly doesn't work on me.
Oh, well, no harm in trying. Come on.
- Why are you like this?
- You'll love it. Do it.
- Mmm.
- That's nasty.
Ugh.
Give me that. Please?
- Sorry.
- I'm going, I'm going.
I want to spit it out. Ugh.
Ugh.
Let's party.
Mm, this feels amazing. Oh, my God.
Wow, I got to hand it to you.
The walk-in fridge, good
idea. That was brilliant.
Oh, good. My next plan was to
put a fan next to the ice sculpture,
like DIY a whole air
conditioner, or something.
This is working. Yeah,
I feel better already.
Good.
- Am I being a monster?
- No, no.
I wouldn't use that word.
You just seem stressed.
We-we didn't have a big wedding before.
I know.
- We just went to the courthouse.
- Yeah, that was fun, too.
But our friends were pissed.
- It's not about them.
- It is.
They have been on this
very long journey with us.
And I want them to see
us happy, like this.
Okay, when you put it that way,
yes. Yes, I want that for them, too.
Good.
- You ready?
- Yeah.
I am very ready.
Come on.
Let me
This handle.
Let me just Oh!
- Oh, shit. Oh, my God.
- Oh, no.
Oh, my God, no.
Oh, here, you know
what? I got it, I got it.
- Oh, shit. Okay.
- I'm just gonna put first,
let's just
Oh, fuck. Okay.
Wait, turn it, turn
it Like punch it again.
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, it's in.
- It's in, it's gonna open.
- Nope.
Shit.
- Hello?
- Hey, we're in here!
Hello?
Thank God for
Tess. Um, question.
There's like a lot of tequila,
right? It's not just one?
Okay, 'cause it's like a hundred people.
- Hey, Alice.
- You can go over there.
Thank you.
- Hi.
- Ugh.
Hi, Alice. I know you can hear me.
- Oh, my God.
- Hi.
I didn't hear you, Sophie.
That's I It's like a wedding
- and it's loud and it's
- Okay, listen.
I know you've been avoiding me
and if I did a shit job with
the show, you can tell me.
- Really, it's fine.
- All right, let's talk about it, Sophie.
Let's just lay it all out.
By the cheese.
Um, the network called me.
And they loved the finale.
They want to promote
you, Sophie. Next season.
- What?
- Do you see your face?
Do you see the shock that you're
feeling? Can you imagine me?
When I picked up the phone
and I was like, "Uh "
It was like that times a
hundred, but yet here we are.
Yeah, okay, I get that
you're still pissed about me
- airing the show without you.
- It wasn't my favorite.
But I'm glad it was a success
because I would never
want to let you down.
That's a really nice way to put it.
- So
- So ?
Are we good?
Yeah, we're Yeah, we're good.
Just was getting really
used to being mad at you.
Oh, this is great.
I was just so worried I
was gonna have to spend
- Alice!
- Oh, my God! Shut up!
This entire wedding drinking
my feelings, you know?
But now I can just focus on having fun
and getting fucked,
you know? Getting laid
Oh, now I'm just
talking to myself. Great.
Well, if it makes you feel
any better, I was listening.
Oh Um well,
woof, I'm just embarrassed.
No, no. No, actually, weddings
are great places to get laid.
- So, I think your goal is achievable.
- Oh. Do you?
Pippa Pascal.
Sophie Suarez.
- Hey, Soph. Hi.
- Hi.
- You look great. Wow.
- Thanks.
- Good luck.
- What? Uh
- Oh, shit, were you two like
- No.
Okay, real quick, um, I'm
gonna need my toaster back.
- What toaster?
- The toaster in the bungalow.
- That's not your toaster.
- Yes, it is.
- No, it isn't.
- Yes, it is. I picked it out.
And I paid for it.
No, we-we split it.
Okay, then why don't you just
get your own damn toaster?
Because I want my toaster.
- Okay.
- Look, this is what I'm-a do.
I'm gonna send you my new address.
You do the right thing
and you're gonna drop it off
at your earliest convenience.
- Oh, am I?
- Or I'll pick it up.
You know, either way.
Ooh, you know
what? I like "Rafael."
Ooh, "Raph" for short?
I was thinking something
more androgynous.
You know, I had a Postmate the
other day named Orion, so
You want our kid to be
named after a Postmates guy?
- I mean, the food was on time.
- You're ridiculous.
Here you go, little fella.
You do realize it's
not a baby yet, right?
Well, I mean, it will be.
Eventually. Can you,
can you believe that?
- What?
- It goes from a canister
- to a baby in nine months.
- No shit.
And, well, technically
ten with the gestation,
- give or take.
- You know,
I keep having these
little daydream moments
- of all of us together.
- Same. Oh, my God,
I can totally picture us in the
kitchen baking Christmas cookies.
- Oh, I know.
- Making a mess.
I, like, want to give them little baths.
- Oh, me, too. Their little tummies.
- Oh, my God, yes.
- Here we go.
- Okay. Ooh, the big reveal.
- It's finally happening.
- Here we go.
Come on. Almost there.
- Ooh.
- Dad's coming.
Oh, my God, it's a magic show.
Ta-da!
Oh, my God.
We're really doing this.
- There you are.
- Oh. Moment of truth.
- Oh.
- Huh.
- It's, uh, it's blue.
- We really paid $700 for that?
Is there enough?
Honestly? I don't think so.
- You want to warm it up?
- Yeah.
We have to.
- Here you go.
- Thank you.
- Got it? Okay.
- Yep.
It looks like Gatorade.
- Let's see what we got.
- Oh, love instructions.
- What else is in here?
- How many pages are these?
- Insemination syringes.
- Okay
Oh, what is that?
- Catheter.
- Okay.
This is a lot of stuff.
Like this thing.
What is this even for?
Josh, take that cart to the back.
Go clean it and make sure
that the other bar is stocked.
- No problem.
- Thank you.
Hi.
Hi.
I'm sorry you had to come
and do this last-minute.
Don't be. I'm happy to help.
- Can I get you a beer or something?
- Okay.
Thank you.
You don't have to worry.
I won't throw it at you.
You promise?
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
I mean, we can both be
adults for the night, right?
Yeah, I think we can.
Has anyone seen Bette and Tina?
Shane, it's showtime. Let's go.
You clean up nice.
You always clean up nice.
- Shane?
- I should go.
I'll see ya out there.
That's my kind of girl.
- Oh, yeah?
- Oh, yeah.
Well, you look like my kind of guy.
All right, come on.
Oh. That's not what I want.
What do you want?
I want your coke.
Fuck. It's that obvious?
I mean, I'm a girl who
knows what she wants.
All right, all right. Okay.
- Yeah?
- Hell yeah. Let's fucking party.
All right, let's get this
- You ever done this before?
- A few times.
Okay.
God, I'm freezing.
Aren't you?
- No. Here, why don't you take this?
- Are you sure?
- Yeah.
- Oh, thank you.
There.
What are you doing?
Just trying to make the
most of our time in here.
You want something?
I just I really hate
your attitude right now.
Well, what would you like
me to be doing instead?
I'd like for you to get us out of here.
How am I supposed to do
that? I'm not an engineer.
I wouldn't know the first thing
about dismantling a refrigerator.
I knew it!
- Oh, my God.
- Shane, I found them!
- They're doing it in the walk-in.
- What are you doing?
No, no, no, we're not doing it!
Oh, you're not ?
- It broke off! We're stuck!
- We're stuck!
- Okay, okay, okay, no problem.
- It'll be easy to open it.
- I think it's like a twist
- No, no, it's a pull.
- Push, push, yeah.
- It's a pull.
- Oh.
- Oh.
- Oh, fuck.
- It's fine.
Don't worry.
It's okay, it's okay.
- It's okay, we'll get you out.
- No. Will you, though?
- There are ways to do this.
- Obviously.
- Don't panic. What? What?
- Shane.
- I got it. Whack it.
- Oh, my God.
No. What the hell
am I supposed to do with
this? I'm not whacking this.
- Okay, um
- No.
You know what I'm gonna
do? I'm gonna call 911.
- Again, again.
- Great. Good idea.
- Got 'em on speed dial.
- Um, hang tight.
You know, you
should get a punch card.
Okay, it's gonna work out.
See, look, it's gonna work out.
I just hate your positivity.
Don't be so positive right now.
Okay, look, do you want
me to say it's a disaster?
Of course it's a disaster.
We're stuck in a fridge
on our wedding day, but you
know what I'm not gonna do?
I-I'm not I'm not gonna
start yelling about it.
Well, why not? That would be a
perfectly reasonable thing to do.
Because I have worked really
hard to quiet those parts of me
so I wouldn't hurt you and I am
afraid that if I let them out,
then I won't be able to
shove them back inside.
I love those parts of you.
- You do?
- Yes.
I love all the parts.
Good news.
Okay, really, really, really good news.
And just a little bit of bad news.
Okay, but the good news is that
the fire department's coming
and they're gonna get you out of here.
Yeah, but the bad news is that
there's a fire in La Cañada,
and they don't know when they
can send someone over here.
- Fuck.
- Right. Just like
- a little bit of a delay.
- Fuck. This is
fucking ridiculous. I
can't fucking believe this.
- All right, look
- Fucking
Um, look, I'm not gonna
tell them. They said hours.
- Goddamn it.
- Look, we are gonna
get out of here, okay?
We are, all right?
But before we do, we have
to establish a new rule.
Okay.
It's just like we were doing in therapy.
We have to put our relationship first.
- Yes. Yes.
- Okay?
- I will, I promise. I will.
- Yes.
We have to promise to
be our whole selves.
- A hundred percent of the time.
- Are you sure?
- Yes.
- Like a hundred percent?
You have to trust that the peaceful,
calm parts of you will still be there.
Alice! Alice!
Call Tasha right now and get us
the fuck out of here because I
am going to marry the love of my life
today if it is the last
fucking thing that I do!
- Go! Go, go, go, go!
- Okay, yes, ma'am.
Will you just say "please"?
Shane, can we use your phone?
Better?
- Yes.
- Okay.
Yeah.
That's it.
Yes, Dre, and of course I
want you to come because
I love you.
If I say it three times, will it make
up for not saying it when I should've?
- I love you.
- Yo, Dani.
- I love you.
- All right, that's enough, bro.
Get off the phone.
- You are rolling way too hard for that.
- I am not.
I don't even feel anything right now.
I just love them. Like, Dre is so nice.
And special and normal.
- God, my jaw hurts.
- You need candy. You're rolling.
Here, guys. Uh, they
didn't have any Hi-Chews
- but they had these.
- Ooh.
- Yes.
- There you go.
- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.
Is it ? Hi, hi.
Hi, everybody.
So, we're experiencing a bit of a delay.
Um, seems the brides are
stuck in a refrigerator.
You know, I look at
it like Bette and Tina
took a long, winding
road to their marriage
so we're gonna take a long,
winding road to their ceremony.
And we'll do the whole
"I do" thing later.
Uh, other than that, enjoy
the open bar. That was me.
- Whoo! Yeah!
- And that's it, have fun.
Lots of snacks. Yeah. Okay.
I've been busy as a busy bee ♪
Oh, my gosh.
Does she know that this
is like elevator music?
This is my fucking jam.
Oh, she's gone.
Man, I miss that Dani.
- Wow.
- She gone-gone.
Look at her, she looks so pretty.
You go, Dani. Drop it lower.
- Aww.
- You sure you're not feeling it?
Fly girls do it like this ♪
Money and all the fly shh you want ♪
Fly girls do it like this ♪
Watch your mouth,
check your tongue ♪
I don't know, I don't know
I just, I really love this song, right?
And it loves you. It loves you.
Nice meeting you,
Sophie Suarez. I'm out.
Nice Nice
Nice to meet you, too.
- Fuck.
- Are you hitting that?
You should. You should. You should.
That that's Pippa Pascal.
She's, like, this super
principled Topanga Canyon,
like, hippie artist. She dated Bette.
- And she
- Bette? Bette Porter?
Yes, Bette Porter.
And she totally thinks
I'm the devil, but I love her.
- Okay.
- She's, like, so pretty.
- She's so pretty.
- Yeah, please go have some fun.
- Yeah?
- Yes, go have fun.
- I should go?
- Fun is so fun.
- You think so?
- Yeah.
Oh, my God, okay, okay,
okay. Hold this, hold this.
- Bye-bye!
- Do it, do it, do it!
Yeah.
Oh, hey, hey, hey, hey.
W-What's wrong?
- I just love Sophie.
- Okay.
I never thought that
we'd be friends again.
But we are. We're like
We're really friends.
- You're rolling.
- Okay, yeah, I think
- I'm feeling something now.
- Yeah.
- Thank you.
- Absolutely. Be right back.
Hey, hey.
Are you leaving? Like for good?
I mean, they haven't
even gotten married yet.
You know, I'm happy for them,
but not happy enough to wait this out.
Fair enough. I mean,
it's very evolved of you
to even show up at an
ex's wedding. I get it.
Oh, so you've been
sniffing around about me?
- Just a little bit.
- Mm-hmm, a little bit.
Okay
But don't give me too much credit.
I'm not exactly upset that
they're locked in a fridge.
- You feel?
- Wow, okay.
This level of petty?
I really aspire to it.
It's good, it's good.
That'd be me. Well, as long as
it doesn't hurt anybody, right?
Right.
Well before you go,
do you want to have some harmless fun?
You know, real fast?
A little Tokyo Drift?
Congratulations.
- Thank you!
- Bye!
Oh, my God.
Guys?
Over there.
- Hey, guys? Hi!
- Hi!
Angie. Oh, my God!
It's so good to see you.
It's good to see you,
too. Are you okay?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Hi. Congratulations on your big day.
- What the fuck is he doing here?
- Thanks for asking.
Yeah, I was thinking about our
conversation we had earlier.
- Uh-huh.
- And I decided that
all you need to do is just
to get to know him better.
No. No.
I don't need to get to
know him better, okay?
So, unless he's willing to
acknowledge the power dynamics,
then there's really nothing
to discuss, for fuck's sake.
- I'm just gonna go.
- No, no, no, no, please.
- Yeah.
- No.
Please, please, please.
- Angie, this-this was a mistake.
- Hendrix,
- it's not a mistake.
- Hey, I would've loved
to spend more time with you before I go,
- but I don't think
- Go? Go where?
New York. I'm moving there.
- I'm sorry, what?
- Um, my book
got a bite from a pretty
major publishing house.
- Oh, my God.
- And I-I was trying to find
the right time to tell
you, and I don't think
I thought we had something real.
What the fuck are you talking about?
- Hey, hey, this
- Don't do that.
Don't try to act like
you actually give a shit.
Okay, this is something real,
but I need to focus on myself.
And my career.
And obviously I don't want
it to be this way, but
No, have fun in New York
writing your fucking book.
I hope it gets better
reviews than the first one.
- Because yikes.
- Okay,
- you don't have to be mean about it.
- You know what?
Go fuck yourself, Hendrix!
I just
Just Just don't say I told you so.
Yeah, it says it's idiot-proof,
but I can't do it.
I hear that, but you
need to relax, babe.
The clock is literally
ticking on this sperm.
No, I just, I-I feel like I'm dying
or something right
now, I-I can't breathe.
You're not gonna die.
Look, we're about to have
this cute little baby.
- You can die after.
- What if we do die after?
You know, the kid will
be so messed up, I just
- We're not gonna die.
- You can't know that for sure.
Okay, well, we'll write a will.
- What if you die?
- Well, if I die,
I'm gonna take you with me.
No. During childbirth. Or after.
I don't know enough
about your disability yet.
Are you fucking kidding
me right now? Seriously?
This is the conversation we're having?
The heart is a muscle.
I mean, sure, there could
be complications, Micah.
- But all of the doctors told
- Labor is intense.
I can fucking handle it.
I want to talk about
what happens if you can't.
I don't want to talk about it.
Oh, my God. This
is exactly what I need.
Oh, shit.
- Dude, give me another.
- Rough day?
My ex is here.
So, yeah.
They are missing out.
Yeah, no shit.
All right.
- Can I brag?
- Oh, you better.
The Hammer has offered me my
first career retrospective.
- Oh, my God. You're incredible.
- Well, thank you.
- Mm-hmm.
- Thank you.
And what about you?
I mean, how did you
How did you start working
for Alice? Like, what was your path?
Well, I made two
social justice-y docs
- Oh, that's what's up.
- Coming out of grad school.
And then the second one
made its way to Sundance.
Okay.
- Sundance.
- Yeah.
Sundance, we were there.
And Alice saw it,
and she was really impressed,
so she called me and I just
couldn't believe it was her
and she said, "Hey,
it's Alice Pieszecki,"
I died and
- Right.
- I've been working for her ever since.
Wow. Wow. What a ride.
- Yeah.
- What a ride.
So, what's next?
Well, actually uh,
she just promoted me.
- Nice.
- Yeah.
I meant though, what
are you making next?
- Like what's your next doc about?
- Oh, um
Eh?
Um, I
I guess I'm still trying
to figure that out.
Well, I applied to this grant, but
with the promotion, I just
- I don't think it's the right time.
- Mmm.
Is it ever the right time?
Just got to make a move, right?
- Yeah.
- It's a winding road.
But you're on it.
- Really, cow?
- Oh, my God.
Damn you, cow.
I guess we, uh,
should be making our way back.
- Yeah, I guess.
- Yeah.
Good evening, ladies and sir.
Bye, cows.
So, uh, are you staying?
Um
Can't leave now, can I?
- You're so pretty.
- Fuck, it's about time you noticed.
I've just been, like,
standing next to you all day.
I always think you're pretty.
- Oh, shit. My friend's here.
- Who?
G! What up, dude?
Rox, what's good?
It's so good to see you.
G-Flip, hi. How do you
two know each other?
- Vegas.
- Vegas.
They were out of tonic so
I just went straight gin.
Thank you, darling.
Shut. Up. I'm sorry,
I love your show.
And you are like so much
prettier in person. Wow.
- She's the hottest.
- That's really sweet. Thank you.
I actually dated a lesbian
realtor named Gigi Ghorbani.
- Do you know her?
- Oh, my God, yes.
I love her. I actually
want her for next season.
Baby, what's her fiancée's name again?
- I think it's Nat.
- Nat!
Yeah, remember she likes public sex?
I love them.
I feel like they'd be
so perfect for the show.
- Don't you guys think?
- Did you say
Did you say fiancée? Fiancée?
Hey, are you okay?
- We can go if you want.
- Aha.
- I knew I had gum.
- Yo, focus.
Are you okay? Do
Gigi loves gum.
- I think I did it.
- What did you do?
I think I'm finally over her.
Ha!
Hell yeah, you are.
- I wish this was real.
- This is real.
No.
You're gonna go back to Costa Rica
and you're gonna forget about me.
- I'm not.
- Mm?
I got a condo in Echo Park.
- No, you didn't.
- Yeah, I did.
I told you to call me
when your heart healed
and you called, so I'm here.
Why didn't you tell me this earlier?
Oh, 'cause you were talking
about Dre all day, I got
- some self-respect.
- So, you're really staying?
- Yeah.
- You're really
Yeah, I really am.
Thank you for coming.
Surprised you called
since you ran away from
me the last time I saw you.
Well, it was an emergency,
so, you know, I put aside my feelings
for the greater good.
- Mm. Okay.
- Stand back.
One, two, three.
Oh, okay.
- Oh, you're freezing.
- I know. I know.
Whoa.
- Hey. How are you?
- Tasha, hey.
- Thank you for saving us. Oh, my God.
- Yes, of course.
- Please stay if you want.
- Yeah, yeah. Thank you.
- So good to see you.
- We got to go get ready.
All right, congratulations.
They want you to say.
- See that?
- What?
That, right there.
That's how you greet a person
when they save you. Or your kitten.
- Jesus, I am not ignoring you.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, you are.
- Any of us could die
- at any given moment.
- Why won't you just admit that
- it's different with you?
- That's how you see me?
- Fragile? Breakable?
- No.
But we have to talk about
this before we have a baby.
I'm just so fucking confused
why you bring this up right now.
Because I didn't want
to say the wrong thing.
- Just say what you need to say.
- What if you die
and our kid asks me why we
had them if we knew the risks?
You know what?
What the fuck? What are you doing?
I am calling it off.
We're obviously not ready.
You can't just fucking do that though.
You can't just make every
life decision without me.
You can't treat me like that.
Micah! Where are you going?
Micah!
Wait, Micah. Wait.
Hey, Max, um It's, uh, it's Micah.
Can I, um can I come over?
Just a splash.
Thank you.
Hey, um, so I have to
refill some potpourri
and I could use an extra
set of hands, with that.
- Okay.
- Just gonna borrow you. Thank you.
I don't think I should
actually put my number down
just because of the
fame and all, you know?
You can fill this out, don't
nobody want to call you.
Okay, what is with the attitude?
Well, I am waiting for an apology.
- For what?
- When I came
- to your house
- Yeah?
You thanked every single
firefighter but me.
- Sorry, I'm sorry, that's funny.
- It's not funny.
Your head is so far up your own ass.
- Oh, my God!
- And now that you're famous,
- I mean, you are the worst!
- Okay, you know what?
- You've really lost it.
- It's obvious now
because you just You
could never handle my success.
- No. No.
- And it is written all over you.
- It seeps out of your pores.
- Not true. I did not want to be
your plus-one, you just wanted
someone to hold your damn purse
- for you all the time.
- I am not gonna apologize
for having a career, Tasha.
- Yeah, but even before your career.
- Before?
You were in love with Dana.
You talked about her so much,
felt like I knew her.
In a way.
What did you just say?
I'm sorry, I just
Okay, Alice.
- Yeah? Oh.
- Showtime.
Oh, my God, thank you so much.
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
- Yeah, no problem.
You saved the day, really.
- She saves everybody.
- Yeah.
All right, I'm gonna
go clean up the mess
- and get out of your hair.
- Okay.
- Okay, okay.
- Yeah, I know, I'm coming.
Okay, sorry.
- It wasn't really an emergency.
- I figured that out.
Oh, right.
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.
- One second, one second.
- Why? What?
Full disclosure, my ex is here.
Okay.
We just broke up, so it's complicated.
You're so cute. I'm
not trying to marry you,
I'm just trying to fuck you.
I'm married, already.
- Oh.
- Yes, I have a husband
waiting for me in Glendale.
Okay, you didn't
You didn't mention that.
I don't know if this is about
Glendale or about the husband,
but I'm gonna answer
both. Glendale is cool,
and so is the husband bit.
We love each other and we
also love to fuck other people.
- Case in point.
- And that works?
- Does it feel like it's working?
- Yeah.
Okay, we were doing better
when we were kissing.
- Tristan for Kimmy.
- Mm, go for Kimmy.
We are ready to get started.
I'm sorry. I got to go,
apparently the wedding is beginning.
- Thank you for a nice day.
- No, thank you. I needed it.
- I'll see you out there.
- Yeah.
You're so fucking predictable.
- Oh, my God.
- Tess?
We are in position two.
Look.
- They look good.
- Yeah.
- You ready?
- Yes. Very ready.
Of course you
fucked the wedding planner.
Tess.
You are a womanizing
- piece of shit, Shane!
- Oh, Christ, we got a wobbler.
I'm gonna need staff on standby
just in case this gets a little messy.
- Again?
- Let's not make a scene.
Let's go talk in private, Tess. Please.
- You think I'm mad at you?
- I'm sorry.
- Just I'll handle it.
- I'm not mad at you!
- Okay.
- I'm
- devastated!
- I know, I know, I know.
- Let's go speak in private.
- You broke my fucking heart.
And you fucking killed my mother.
- Are you drunk?
- Jesus Christ. Yes, I'm drunk!
You'd have to be to put up
with all your shit! Oh, my God!
- Okay, let's
- No.
- You and me, let's go talk.
- No, let go!
No, I don't want to talk to you, let go!
Is she okay?
- That tracks. That tracks for today.
- Okay, let me help you.
- I don't want your help.
- Hey, hey, I got it, I got it.
- I can do it myself.
- I'm too high for this shit.
This particular friend
group is full of drama.
It's sloppy.
It's okay.
Come on. Let's get you cleaned up, okay?
Okay.
Hey.
Hey, any ladies out there want to be
Shane McCutcheon's next conquest, huh?
- Oh, that's just great.
- It's okay. Hey, hey, hey. Hey.
Tess, will you just hold up a second?
Look, let me help you, okay?
No, thank you.
- I know what you're feeling, I
- No, you don't.
Yes, I do. I've been there, okay?
I think if we just
- Hey, let's just go to a meeting.
- I don't want to go to a meeting.
Okay, I get it, but, um
I don't want to be sober.
Okay? I just want to
have fun with my friends.
- You know?
- Tess
No, don't.
- This isn't you.
- Don't look at me with that
- cute little face, okay?
- Tess, look, just
Fuck this wedding.
Let me just take you home.
- Let's go home.
- I don't want to go there.
Ever again, okay? I'm
I'm happy.
- No, you're not.
- I'm happy.
Tess.
- Hey.
- Hey.
You want a ride?
- Oh, my God, yes.
- Let's go.
No, Tess Tess, get out of the car!
- Tess, I'm not kidding.
- Finley, you need to let me go.
No, absolutely fucking not.
- Get out of the car!
- Let me go. Let me go. Drive.
Do not start that car!
Tess, get out of the car!
Stop it.
Tess, please! Tess! Fuck!
Whoo! Bye, Finley!
Oh, fuck.
Okay
Hmm. It's great. We'll just
call it a statement piece.
I'm sorry, I ruined your wedding.
- It's not your fault.
- No, it is.
I'm just glad you're okay.
Yeah.
Look, I mean we've done worse.
- We have?
- Of course.
Yeah, you left Carmen at the altar.
- Right.
- You dated that vampire.
- Oh. Oof.
- Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
I left you for Carrie.
It's okay, I slept with Candace in jail.
- The carpenter.
- The carpenter, mm.
Yeah, and we got through all that, so
- Are we doing this?
- Should we do this?
- Yes.
- Let's do it.
- Thank you, ugh.
- Thank Christ.
Okay, places, everybody.
Places. This is showtime, people.
Here we go. Phase two.
We're feeling good.
We're smiling, even if we don't want to.
I know I am. Just kidding.
I'm happy to be here.
Bette.
Bette Porter.
You are everything to me.
Your fierce passion inspires all of us.
To stand boldly in our convictions
and fight for each other
when no one else will.
And to love with
everything that we have.
Bette, you are my first, my second
and my third love.
And today I vow
that you will be my last.
Tina Kennard
Your name still gives me butterflies.
From the moment we met,
my soul has burned
brighter because of you.
You are the sun at the
center of my universe.
You are my home.
Thank you for your warmth,
your wisdom, and your steadiness.
Thank you for Angie.
And thank you for loving me.
And I vow to love and care for you
for the rest of our days,
with all that I am.
With this ring, I thee wed.
And with this ring,
I thee wed.
- I love you.
- I love you, too.
By the power vested in
me by ordainmefast.net,
I now pronounce you married for life!
Wait.
Tasha.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Um, look, I didn't include your
number on that incident report,
- but if something comes up
- I'm sorry.
Wow.
I-I'm I never
I don't think I've heard you
use those words with me before.
I just I don't know if this
is really gonna make a
difference at this point,
but I-I need you to hear something.
When I lost Dana, it
really did almost kill me.
And I and I did make
my life really, really busy
so I wouldn't have to think about her.
So, I get why you left.
Uh Thank you.
And, uh, you're right.
About you getting famous, um
You know, it all just moved
a little too fast for me
and, you know, I'm just
not from that world and
Of course, I get it. I know. I know.
Uh
I'm gonna let you get
back to your party, but
What do you Well, do you want to ?
Do you want to dance?
Do you have, like, a
fire to put out or ?
- Like
- That's not what I
That's not what you
thought I was gonna say?
- No.
- Because I don't mean like
- Ah.
- I don't want to go, like,
cut a rug, I just want to like
maybe just one dance, with me.
Yeah, I would like that.
- Really? Okay.
- Yeah. One dance, though.
- One.
- Okay, yeah, I won't
- I won't keep you all night.
- Okay.
Is this on all the time?
- Your walkie?
- Yes, it is. I'm working.
- Can I do like one emergency?
- Absolutely not, no.
Just not like, "Oh, my God,
we need everybody, hurry"?
- No?
- No.
I can't believe we finally did this.
It was worth the wait.
Yeah, anyway, so he's a piece of shit.
He's moving to New
York, so I don't care.
So are you glad you broke his window?
- Yes.
- Good.
I am so glad that I broke his window.
- That guy's a narcissist.
- Agreed.
Want to dance?
Maybe later.
I'm gonna call Bella.
Um, I need to apologize
to her. I fucked up.
- Thanks a lot.
- I know someone will dance with you.
You promise?
Let me know how it goes.
- Okay. Bye.
- Love you.
Love you, too.
Wait, so is it month to month, or ?
Oh, no. I-I bought it, it's mine.
I'm staying.
Sorry, I'm coming down
and I-I'm just having a
- a hard time believing this.
- Oh, it's real.
I'm real.
Hi.
- Hey.
- I'm sorry.
No, no, none of that was your fault.
No, not Not about that, I just
There's obviously a
lot going on with Tess
I didn't know about and I
I definitely shouldn't have
yelled at you, on Halloween.
- I was out of line. I'm sorry.
- All is forgiven.
Yeah. Will you let me
know if you hear from her?
Yeah.
You want to dance?
- What do you say?
- Okay. Sure.
Come on.
I need to say hi.
- What's up?
- How are you?
I'm good.
- Good to see you again.
- You, too.
- Let's go back to the room.
- Mm. Yes, please.
You've got go to be fucking
kidding me right now.
Of course.
That's okay.
- I'd rather walk, with my wife.
- Me, too.
You know, we could get a room.
We could.
But it's nice to have
something to look forward to.
- Uh-huh.
- All right.
- Yes.
- Player players.
- Dani.
- Yeah?
It's Tess.
Hi, where are you?
Hi, this is the L.A. Police Department.
- Is this Sarah Finley?
- Is she okay? What?
I'm calling regarding Tess Van De Berg.
Uh, yeah.
Was today everything
you dreamed it would be?
Yes.
- Really?
- It was perfect.
Yeah, it was, in a weird way.
But, darling
I hope our friends get
to feel this someday.
Yeah. Me, too. They deserve it.