UnREAL (2015) s03e10 Episode Script

You've been stealing profits from me and Chet.
Probably shouldn't have put it all in an e-mail, Gary.
- I need a job.
- Now is not a good time.
I'm concerned about Rachel.
I'm here to help my patient.
You're one of the smartest people I've ever met.
Hey.
Whoa, whoa.
What are you doing? What does it look like I'm doing? No, this is totally inappropriate.
You should get out of here.
Come work for me.
Really, your CIA mind-game tricks, I mean, that is valuable.
Tonight is gonna be amazing.
So excited to spend it together as an actual power couple.
What is Robin doing here? Robin's article lays out all the dirt on you, - so I'm gonna fire you.
- You seem to be forgetting about a little thing called leverage.
All those e-mails that I have.
How confident are you that, uh, you still have those e-mails? You wiped my computer clean.
You're fired.
- I didn't do that.
- Just don't ever come back.
Only two men I wish tonight hadn't gone the way it did.
Oh, August, I have to say goodbye to you tonight.
- So, the job is mine? - You deliver, I deliver.
I wasn't sure you'd go against your pal like this.
It's not personal.
It's business.
You still have drama going on.
I see how you look at her.
- Jeremy - I killed two people for you, 'cause I thought that I-I loved you.
I'm a murderer.
Okay, Fiona, I know I left like 37 messages, but I really need you to get back to me.
There is a slightly devastating article coming out about me in The National Page and I need your lesbian mafia muscle, okay? Where the hell are you? Rachel?! Rachel?! Rachel, are you? Come on, not even my troll person is available?! Well, that's depressing It's the worst day ever.
Ah! Damn it! Hello, little perv.
Who are you? Oh, shit.
It's gonna be a great day, after all.
Good morning, Sleeping Beauty.
- Good morning.
- Got a big day ahead of ourselves.
Look, I'm sorry.
I know this should be about you, but I've been obsessing about this all night.
Were you serious about that job off I mean, it's totally fine if you weren't, it really is.
I just I'm looking for a little bit of clarity.
Of course I was serious about the job offer.
I don't mean to sound ridiculous.
You and I, we could change the world.
Does not sound ridiculous.
How does it sound? It sounds like if I could put to good use all the stuff that Quinn taught me, the last four years of my life won't have been an absolute waste.
Consider yourself out.
You're gonna shit yourself.
Not in this suit.
It's too expensive to dry clean.
Son of a bitch.
So that's why she's not returning my calls.
She sold me out because I didn't give her a job? Looks like you fired the wrong person.
Madison.
You fired Madison.
No, I know who I fired, Chet.
I called in every favor I had to try to get that article about you killed.
None of my fixers could get any traction, and they've pulled me out of much deeper shit than this before.
Oh, that's fantastic.
I'm beginning to think there's something to that whole double-standard thing you go on and on about.
This town really is tougher on the ladies.
You think? This is a nightmare.
Could we talk about finding you a husband now? Yeah, but which one? - First, there's Jasper - Okay.
who is amazing.
But I wish that I could put Jasper and Owen together into one person.
I mean, that Can you stop, seriously? This is how single people talk.
Honestly, this obsession with the imaginary perfect guy.
You can't just Google up your customized person.
Maybe we should invest in a company that does that.
You're just scared that it's not gonna be perfect and here's the truth, it's not going to be.
But it can still be amazing, and you just have to decide what kind of amazing you want it to be.
And that is what I'm gonna help you do.
All right, all right.
Come on, let's go.
We've got work to do.
- Let's hear this.
- Okay.
All right.
So, you finally got your "Upstairs, Downstairs" finale.
But Serena can't decide if she wants to buy slow or sell high.
What, 10 weeks and she still can't pick? I'm thinking we bring both guys and their families to Connecticut to meet her parents.
- What? - So I win? I mean, Jasper's obviously gonna slay with the Connecticut country club set and Owen, not so much.
I don't know.
I think that she's been rejecting guys like Jasper for the last 12 years.
Owen might be exactly what she's been waiting for.
Yeah, but he's also your guy, so why take that chance? What kind of ambush are you planning this year? I'm not planning an ambush.
Serena's my girl.
She's the one that needs a win in life.
Am I right, Doc? Absolutely.
That's a very healthy attitude, Rachel.
Thank you.
Yeah.
It's amazing what can happen to a woman when you put a camera on her 24/7.
Right, Doc? Yeah.
All right! Let's go, troops! Let's invade Connecticut! Everybody out! - Quinn, am I - Yes! A.
D.
Dan, you, too! Everyone out! Out! Quinn? Can we talk? Yeah.
I think we'd better.
Hey.
Look, I just want to apologize again.
- It's all right.
- I'm not talking to you.
Look, I never would've hooked up with Alexi if I knew you two had a thing.
Yes, you would have.
It's who you are, Rachel.
It's why you do so well here.
Jay, please, stop, seriously? You keep just, like, yelling at me and telling me what a piece of shit I am.
Well, then stop acting like a piece if shit.
I'm trying to.
I'm actually about to make some pretty big changes.
Oh, what? A threesome with Owen and Jasper? Look, I'm just trying to pick up the pieces.
I'm making amends, okay? Whatever.
Look, you just do you.
Look, I'm trying to protect Rachel.
Either way, still fired.
You know, I wondered whether it was you or Jeremy.
It's such a low bar.
I'm gonna tell her the truth, all right? I'm gonna come clean No, you're not.
You mention one word to Rachel, I am gonna call the board and get your license revoked.
Call the boar She's had one breakthrough after another! She's cut ties with her mother, confronted her past I got her there! No, she got herself there.
Do you know what I saw on that camera? Every time you pushed her, every time she created some bullshit show for you, she crumbled.
She cried herself to sleep.
What? She knows this is not right.
This isn't what she wants.
She can't help herself.
And that's just the way you like it.
You want to fire me, fine.
Hear this.
There's no version of this job or any relationship with you that'll be healthy for Rachel, ever.
Wait! Miss King! I told you she's not available.
- You can't just barge in here.
- Yeah, well, she looks pretty available to me.
It's okay, Ellen.
Give us five minutes.
Ooh, wow! Five minutes.
Super-generous.
Nice digs you got here.
And all you had to do was sell your soul to get 'em.
Gary made me an offer I couldn't refuse.
You could've, but you didn't.
Listen, I did a little digging on your new partner.
Here you go.
Every unethical, immoral, illegal move he's ever made.
Why would you give this to me? Look, Gary is a pussy-grabbing slime ball who will not empower you.
And I know you, Fiona.
You are not built to be number two to some mediocre white dude.
Quinn Come on.
You and me, we can take Gary down together.
You can be number one.
I can do that for you.
So, take a look at that and let me know what you think.
Hey, guys.
Say goodbye to the mansion.
You gonna miss this place? Like London misses the plague.
Hey, bud, you might be back next season.
You'll still be single.
Thank you, Daniel.
Let's go.
- Just Dan.
- Thanks, Danica.
Bye, you guys! Hey.
How you doing? I'm good.
I am.
I think mostly 'cause I'm leaving.
Like, for real this time, though.
I'm done, Rach.
I I have to be.
Yeah, me, too.
Yeah? Hey.
Uh, sticks go in the truck.
You got a sec? Everything okay? Um, everything's great.
I just wanted to tell you that, um, I'm leaving.
I'm gonna take a job with Serena at her company.
Really? So, uh, the contestant is your BFF? You girls are gonna go off and save the world together? Maybe.
Why not? Well, because in the real world, Serena's not gonna stick her neck out for her reality TV buddy with her Tesla-driving, Ivy-league-asshole friends.
Yeah, well, see, Serena's a really good person.
It's been awhile since I've met one of those.
She's a shiny penny.
I get it.
But that's not who we are.
We? I mean, this is a job for me, Quinn.
It's a job that was a huge mistake.
She's offering me a career.
I'm, like, dying here.
I mean, this place is just killing me.
You have to know that.
Just let me get out.
Fine.
Quinn, you can't buy me.
No, I'm not buying anything.
This is yours, free and clear.
It's the money you gave your dad.
50k, right? You don't want to go to Silicon Valley.
I saw your face at that poop-fest goat farm and it's the happiest you've ever been.
So you go and you get your cabin and you get out all the way out.
And you and you're doing this again.
Doing what? No, you're trying to make me believe, like, you're the only person in the entire world who cares about me so I stay here and make you rich while I'm dying on the inside.
This is exactly the kind of mind-game shit.
Dr.
Simon was talking about.
Oh.
Dr.
Simon? Because he's so honest and up front? Well, at least he's making me realize what I need, - which is to stay away from you.
- Right.
'Cause I'm the Wicked Witch and he's the Wonderful Wizard of Oz.
Well, spoiler alert the Wizard's a fraud.
No, he's not.
You're just jealous that I trust him more than you.
Oh, you trust him? He had a camera hidden in your truck, Rachel.
He's been watching you 24/7 for God knows how long.
Bullshit.
Dude, you're such a liar.
I saw it with my own eyes.
He admitted it.
He is an obsessed, weirdo stalker.
This doesn't even make any sense.
The guy has been nothing but a complete professional.
A professional creep.
And I fired him.
You're welcome.
- Rachel? - No, I'm gonna go get Serena her husband and then after that, we're done.
Now, on "Everlasting," we invite you to a bucolic, quaint part of the United States we call Connecticut, the Constitution state.
Home to the American robin, Yale University, and a whole lot of white bread.
But more importantl, it's the state that gave us Serena Wolcott.
Serena, darling.
Mom.
Hi.
Hi.
I want you to meet Owen.
- Such a pleasure.
Hi.
- Hi.
And this is Riley.
Ah.
Riley's a little shy around new people.
Mom, what's going on? Where's Dad? He won't come out of his room.
You know how he gets.
This is ridiculous.
He won't even come out here? 'Cause he's jerking off to his tax returns.
I mean, look at this place.
You know, I'm gonna go talk to him.
No, why don't you let Owen do it? Rachel's right.
You think I didn't realize I'd be a tough sell to a family that lives in a place like this? I don't care what my dad thinks.
But I do.
This is his moment.
Let him have it.
Okay.
Okay.
Mr.
Wolcott? Nobody was supposed to be in here.
I just, uh, wanted to introduce you to Owen.
He would like to speak with you.
You're gonna need to take that cameraman with you.
Actually, Mr.
Wolcott, the only way they're gonna let us talk is if the camera stays.
Plus, we're paying you $10,000 a day to shoot here, old man.
All I ask is that you hear me out.
I know that I'm probably not the kind of person you expected your daughter to end up with.
Son, I don't know you from Adam.
What I do know is you're on a reality show and that's not how I saw my daughter meeting a husband.
You're right.
I mean, the the whole thing is absurd.
We we got cameras on us 24/7, 20 other men trying to get a date with Serena.
If we can survive that, we can survive anything.
I love your daughter.
That's real.
Nice work, Rachel.
Owen's in.
I was the only oe of my friends who did not buy his wy out of the draft, Hey.
Hey.
I had to come check.
How's it going? - Oh, it's a disaster, isn't it? - Oh, uh, no.
Actually, no, it's not.
Everything's, uh, going great.
Yeah.
- Hello, again.
- Hi.
- One more.
- Got it.
Ugh.
All right, here we go.
Hi.
So? What do you think? Great.
Did you see those floating terraces in the pool? Huh? Well, take a picture of 'em.
I'll buy you a couple.
Chet, hope I'm not interrupting anything mind-numbing? No, I I totally understand that Chetty is here to produce the show.
Wonderful.
Uh, is your plane gassed up? Why? You're not going anywhere, are you? - I can't produce this thing by myself now.
- Yeah, no shit.
All right, I'm not going anywhere.
I just need a favor.
I've got to load up some explosives.
Yeah.
I got a plane for you.
- I got anything you need.
- Okay.
So you flew across the country just to talk to me? Oh, my God, Quinn was right.
You're obsessed.
Rachel, I am so, so sorry.
What is wrong with you? - You're such a perv.
- Look, I know I crossed a line, but it wasn't for some twisted reason.
I was genuinely concerned you would hurt yourself.
Except you are the only one that's hurt me.
Hurting you is the last thing I want to do.
Okay, le You know what, screw it.
I'm glad Quinn fired me.
- Mm-hmm? - Yeah, because now I can speak freely.
What's that mean? Look, I know this sounds crazy, but I've gotten to know you so well in our time together and you've really touched my heart in a way no other patient has.
In a way no other woman has.
No.
Mnh-mnh.
Dude, no.
- Rachel.
- No.
- I know you feel it.
- Mnh-mnh.
You came to me the other night, but it it wasn't the right time.
- Okay, it was inappropriate then.
- And what, this is appropriate? - But now I'm fired - This is sick.
Look, the show's almost over, and it makes sense for us to be together.
We can be open and honest in a way you could never be with any other man.
After what you told me, what you got Jeremy to do, killing those two people that secret will always be a weight inside you.
You know that.
That's what Essential Honesty is about.
Just stop, dude.
Stop.
You think Serena's gonna understand what you did? No one would accept you if they knew, but I do.
I know everything about you.
And I love you, Rachel.
My God.
Ugh.
My God.
Dude, you're crazy.
You are crazy.
- I'm not - You're you're insane.
Just get away from me.
Get get out of here.
- Rachel just - Okay, can you go? Go, honestly.
Okay.
Oh, my Crazy.
Two roads diverged in a Connecticut wood.
Which will Serena choose? My personal favorite reason for coming to Connecticut, ladies and gentlemen, look at the grounds, the home.
People come here from all ovr the world for summer vacation.
Tea, gentlemen's parties.
I'd love to go there myself, but I could never afford it.
One of the most beautiful landscapes outside of, oh, I don't know, Costa Rica.
The question now is, can Jasper's parents help him seal the deal with Serena's family? The answer moments away.
I've never seen such a magnificent rhododendron.
Trust me, we've seen a lot.
Uh, hello? Has anybody seen Rachel? Hi, Rachel.
What are you doing here, Madison? Yeah, Quinn called.
I guess she figured out that she'd made a mistake.
She needs me more than she thought.
We've gotten pretty close this season, you know.
She's grooming me.
Not that you should feel threatened or anything.
What's wrong with you? So, what's this I hear about a bet? Ooh.
She knows about the bet.
Well, thankfully, Serea realized that it was a a foolish, idiotic prak and she forgave me.
I mean, everything really is better with an accent, isn't it? Hell yeah.
I would do anythig to keep her.
Even if that means staying n a hideous reality show far longer than I ever intende.
I should get an accent.
- Ach du lieber! - There you go.
Oh.
All right, it's all you, champ.
- Got to go.
- Where are you going? It's showtime.
Can I get you another drink? So you've heard.
Madison! Are you coming in? So, I guess I owe you an apology.
Yes.
You just got it.
- Now, let's go.
- Okay.
Let's do this.
Congratulations.
You're shooting the elimination ceremony.
What? No, the finale is Quinn's baby.
I know.
She thinks you have an amazing eye, and she's right.
You know? You're crazy-talented.
That's why I've recommend you for the DP job next season.
Where are you going? I'm quitting.
Why? I've wanted to so many times this season.
And the only reason I haven't is because of you.
I just can't be here anymore.
If you can't be with Rachel, you mean? - Uh - I saw you two together.
It's obvious.
You don't understand, Charlie.
I've done things.
I have a darkness inside of me that you don't know and you don't want to know.
I'm doing you a favor.
Fine.
Get out of here, then.
Take your darkness and go.
Hello, Gary.
Margot, so glad you could make it.
I do love a good ending and no matter how many seasons you do this, you never know who's gonna win and who's gonna go home bitter and alone.
Mm.
Well, get ready.
It's gonna be a real nail-biter.
- Mm.
- Come on.
Hey, you.
Hi.
Nice to see you again.
I'm Madison.
- Hi.
- This is Margot, my wife.
You never told me you were married.
Gary is so professional.
He never talks about his family.
Just gets right down to business.
I'm gonna get a drink.
Are you happy now? He's all yours.
I don't know what you're talking about - and honestly, I don't care.
- Jeremy's obsessed with you.
And he always will be.
Lord knows why.
You're a manipulative bitch who gets joy out of hurting good, decent people.
Least someone's getting what they want.
I'm gonna give you that, but I mean What was that? Hmm? Some pathetic attempt to embarrass me in front of my wife, really? Mm.
Give me a little credit, Gary.
I would never count on one woman's accusations of sexual depravity to bring you down.
So I played it safe and I brought along 11.
Congratulations.
You are now the lucky defendant in a class-action sexual harassment lawsuit.
- So trendy.
- But Sorry, Gary, but you know the rule around here.
Sluts get cut.
Hey, um, did you break up with Charlie because of, you know, like what we did, because you could never really tell her? I just I don't to hurt anyone anymore, Rach.
No, I get it.
Yeah, I know.
What is gonna happen to us when we go out in the real world, huh? Guess we just pretend.
I don't know.
I guess we owe it to ourselves to find out.
At least try.
Together, right? I'm damaged, you're damaged.
Let's just go be damaged together.
You don't understand.
No, I I don't I don't want to be with you anymore.
- Jeremy, I I - No.
No, I You're this you're a stain that I I have to live with for the rest of my life.
I'd rather be alone forever than be with you.
And I think you're gonna be alone forever, too.
And honestly, I think that's best for everyone.
Rachel, where are you? Serena needs to be prepped.
Who's gonna win this thing? Yeah, I got it.
Trust me, I'm all over it.
Oh, my God.
You look so pretty.
- Aw.
- How do you feel? I feel amazing.
I've made my choice.
- Really? Wow.
- Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, I realized that you're you're so right.
I've been obsessed with finding the perfect guy, but I I think that was just my fear talking.
I'm really, truly happy.
Okay.
Why aren't you happy about this? Huh? No, I am.
I am.
I just saw you today and you seemed I seemed? You know, honestly, it's, like, nothing.
Forget it, please? Will you please just tell me who you're choosing? I'm, like, dying to know.
- Okay, Rachel? - Hmm? We have been in this together from the beginning, so you can't go silent on me now.
Come on.
Okay, fine, but look, this could just be me, but it it doesn't really seem like you're feeling it with either of these guys.
I mean, are you? What are you talking about? Please, just tell me that I'm wrong.
Please, just tell me that you are like 100% sure, that you do not have this gnawing feeling in the pit of your stomach.
Okay, maybe I have butterflies, but that's normal when anyone's making a big decision.
Right, I just don't want you to be worried that Owen is from this completely different world or that Jasper has got this deep insecurity underneath all of that snobbiness.
I'm trying not to, because you said that everybody's flawed and I can't just Google up the perfect person.
I mean, that made a lot of sense to me.
I know.
I know.
I Look, I've just had to do this like a million times.
You know, like, push the suitor into making a choice that's good for the show and I just I really don't want to do that with you.
You matter to me.
Please, just tell me that this is what you want.
It is.
- Okay.
- It is.
Okay.
I mean, if you're sure, then I'm sure.
Let's just forget about those butterflies and let's go out there and let's choose your soul mate.
We have to.
Welcome, fellow romantics and lovers of love, to "Everlasting's" live finale, where a brave single dad will face a Wall Street wolf.
That is so beautiful.
It's so romantic.
Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for Owen and Jasper! Hey, I know that I'm a softy, but Chetty and I are next.
Fingers crossed, huh? Uh-huh.
Oh, it's it's gonna happen.
And when it does, it's gonna be it's gonna be amazing.
And now, the woman of the hour.
You know what? What? I have a really good idea.
Our stunning suitress, Serena! She looks amazing.
Gorgeous.
Okay, okay.
So who will be the lucky winner this evening? And not only of this beautiful life partner, but also of a brand-new Hyundai Santa Fe, with incredible style and advanced technology? Hyundai makes things better.
Really is a very good car.
All right, let's go.
Roll the clips.
Come with me, won't you, as we take a look back at the journeys that brought us here.
Give it up, ladies and gentlemen, for Owen and Jaspe! Ugh.
I hate this part.
And there they are, two incredible journeys to one incredible choice.
Serena, are you ready? Uh, hold on.
This'll just take a minute.
I'm sorry.
I am so sorry to interrupt.
Oh, my God.
Chet? - Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God.
What's happening? Just just go with it.
Relax.
We're live.
Chetty, you are the love of my life and I know that I'm the love of yours.
So I was thinking will you marry me? Chetty? Go, go marry your child bride.
I know that Graham's an ordained minister, so we can do it right here, right now, on the set of this amazing show that has come from your beautiful heart.
- Chet? - Oh, come on, you can't just sit there.
The cameras are rolling.
We're live, Chet.
Quinny It's okay.
It's good TV.
Go.
Come on, let's hear it for Chet.
Come on out, Chet.
The executive producer of "Everlasting," everyone.
This is amazing! Live love, right before our eyes! This is ridiculous.
I think it's real, dude.
What are we waiting for, right? This is what we both want.
- We are gathered here today - Uh, no.
- Chetty? - No? Uh, no, no, no.
I can't do this.
I don't want this.
I just can't.
Why not? Well, I'm in love with someone else.
Oh, shit.
Even though she doesn't love me, she doesn't want to be with me, I'll never settle for anything else.
Who are you in love with? Don't say it, don't say it, don't say it.
Quinn.
I love Quinn King.
And I always will.
Who's Quinn? Quinn? But she's old and she can't have babies and she hates you! I know.
What?! Hey! Get the camera off of me! Go away, now! Okay, let's, uh let's get you home.
But I did everything right.
I treated you like a king.
I sucked your old, shriveled man balls for like five months! Okay.
What, for nothing?! - Chet, look at these tits! - Hey! You think you're ever gonna see tits like these again?! Good luck to you, mister! Okay, good luck to you.
Good luck.
You're such an asshole! Get off me! So, Graham, let's, uh, see who's, uh, gona get that Hyundai.
Right.
Yes.
Well, um what an exciting - Ow.
I'm all right.
- almost-wedding that was.
But we still have our main event.
You see, our suitress has still not announced the most important decision she will ever make.
No pressure, Serena.
Sorry, I'm still trying to process what that was.
- To say the least.
- So are we all.
Serena, this whole thing has been nuts.
But when it's us together, just you and me, it's perfect.
Oh, look at that! Marry me.
Make me the happiest man alive.
Owen, you are you are such a good man.
Ooh.
- Game over.
- That's not a good sign.
I mean, there are no words for how wonderful you've been, but I can't marry you.
I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry.
And then there was one.
Serena, uh, since day one, it's been us.
I mean, we both know it.
He's still a cocky prick, all the way to the end.
that, well, I really didn't think was possible and you've you've totally opened up my heart.
Yeah, baby! Marry me.
Say yes.
Yes! Jasper, I I can see a future with you.
I'm just not 100% sure it's the one that I want.
Really? I'm sorry.
- No! - Where's my happy ending? Where where is my happy ending?! Hello?! I know, right? Old sad.
Shut up.
I I have wanted this so much, but I realize that I have to wait until I know for sure, in my soul, that I have found my perfect match.
And I am so grateful that I have such a true friend who helped me understand that.
Wow.
Did not see that coming.
But what a great night, right, ladies and gentlemen? Huh? What a great night.
Because our suitress has chosen the greatest love of all.
Herself.
Oh, shut up, Graham.
- Okay.
Yes.
- Excuse me.
No, get I need cameras on Owen.
I need a camera on Jasper! Get the parents, get the brat, get drama, get tears, get everything! Go! Go! Go! Just quick question.
Is anyone gonna take the car? Come in! So Frank from legal was a nice tip, eh? Yep.
He told me exactly who to call.
How does it feel to be number one? A lot better than number two, I'll give you that.
Uh, listen, when that article comes out, you are going to get a lot of flack for keeping me around.
I don't know, Quinn.
Nobody's career could survive an article like this.
13 more women joined the suit.
Gloria Allred loves you, by the way.
Bet there might be a show in that.
Where is the article about me? I killed it.
In exchange for an exclusive on Gary's shit show.
We're gonna do this the right way.
No more patriarchal bullshit.
Sure.
But matriarchal bullshit is still cool, right? Quinn? Ah, you remember my producer Madison? Miss Berlin, I want to say how excited I am to see a woman as the head of the network.
It means a lot to me, especially since I'm a content creator myself.
Madison shot a pilot.
Did you see it? "Hashtag Adulting"? Gary did not understand it.
Well, why don't you pitch it to me in the car on the way to the airport? Thank you.
Something like that.
Oh, my God, you guys? Twitter is literally blowing up.
You have to hear this.
Okay, "'Everlasting' just got lit, y'all,".
"Serena equals feminist hero, hashtag, know your worth.
" I mean, you're, like, all anyone is talking about.
You've inspired women everywhere not to settle, to wait for their Clooney.
That's not what this is, Rachel.
What? What do you mean? You produced me to pick neither guy.
So, what? I'd end up like you, empty and alone.
No, I I produced an empowered, feminist statement - Hmm.
- about not being so desperate to pair up that you, like, overlook a mountain of flaws just so you can be done.
Okay.
Sure, just the way that you produced Crystal to go after the man of her dreams.
Worked out really well for her.
Tell the truth, Rachel.
You don't hate it here.
You love it.
You were smiling.
I saw you.
- Serena - No.
You can forget about the job.
I don't want you anywhere near me.
This is exactly where you belong.
Oh.
By the way, I made my choice for me, not you.
I know it must kill you to hear this, but, uh, I feel great.
So it's your favorite kind of finale.
Everybody's a loser.
Rachel, what happened to you? I remember the girl who came back here this season, - and this is not her.
- Maybe it is.
Maybe this is who I've always been.
You have a match.
You have a match.
You have a match.
You have a match.
You have a match.
You have a match.
You have a match.
You have a match.
You have a match.
You have a match.
You have a match.
You have a match.
You have a match.
You have a match.
Another great season, Rach! Somebody found love today, huh?! Got to admit, I had my doubts, but this is actually pretty good.
It's a little hipster.
It's kind of out of our demo, but I can totally work on that.
What What are you doing? Pitching.
Do you want me to stop? Not yet.
So, uh, I guess this is goodbye.
I guess.
But, I mean, we had a pretty good run, didn't we? I don't know.
You know, like, am I delusional in thinking that I could go somewhere else and fit? What? No, no, no, no.
Okay? You are brilliant.
Full stop.
Any direction you point, anything you decide to do, you will explode and shine.
You are a star and you always have been.
And I have been doing everything I can to keep you for myself, because apparently, I'm a selfish bitch.
Or was.
I don't even, like, know who I am anymore.
Well, I do.
I know exactly who you are.
You are a dark, twisted wreck, Rachel Goldberg.
And I am going to miss every bit of it.
To you.
Coming!