Austin and Ally s03e11 Episode Script

Hey, Ally.
Hey, Dez.
Where's Austin? He and Trish aren't back from their meeting yet.
Oh, so it's just the two of us, huh? Yup.
A little Dez and Ally time.
Yup.
Did they mention when they were gonna get back? Not that it matters 'cause we're having so much fun.
So much fun! But like five minutes? - Or more like an hour? - Oh.
- Hey, guys.
- What's up? Austin, don't ever leave me alone with her again.
I was trying to make small talk, but the girl was giving me nothing.
Uh, the girl can hear you.
Anyway, I've got great news.
Guess who got Austin a part in the new Spike Stevens movie.
- What?! - No way! Spike Stevens is my favorite director.
He's the reason I got into filmmaking.
Before that, I just wanted to be a brain surgeon.
I think you made the right choice.
I have a surprise for you too, Dez.
Spike Stevens wants you to work on his movie too.
He's hiring you to be his assistant.
Really? What did you show him that I directed? One of my music videos? Dun dun dun"? - Well, not exactly - Aww, it doesn't matter.
The point is is that my hero recognized my talent and wants to mentor me.
I got you a job on the movie too, Ally.
Spike wants you to write the theme song.
No way! I have always wanted to write songs for movies.
Thanks, Trish.
So what's the movie about? Huh, I probably should have asked that before we agreed to do the movie.
Oh, well, we'll find out soon enough.
They start shooting at the beach club tomorrow.
I hope it's a musical.
I've always wanted to be in a beach musical.
What are you gonna be? Some kind of singing surfer? I don't see it.
When the crowd wants more I bring on the thunder 'cause you've got my back and I'm not going under you're my point, you're my guard you're the perfect chord and I see our names together on every billboard we're headed for the top, we've got it on lock we'll make 'em say "hey!" and we'll keep rockin' oh, there's no way I could make it without ya do it without ya, be here without ya it's no fun when you're doing it solo with you it's like, "whoa," yeah, and I know I own this dream 'cause I got you with me there's no way I could make it without ya do it without ya, be here without ya.
this is awesome.
I can't believe I actually have a job on a Spike Stevens movie.
I'm gonna go talk to the d.
P.
That's the "director of photography" for you amateurs.
Then I'm gonna talk to the makeup girl.
That's the girl who does the makeup.
You guys have so much to learn.
You gonna tell him? Tell him what? Spike Stevens never saw anything Dez directed.
He just hired him 'cause Dez is my friend.
What? If Dez finds out, it'll break his heart.
You should get hired for your talent like I was.
Wait.
Why did Spike hire me? Because he loves your songwriting.
Actually, he really does.
I don't know why I said it that way.
You have to say something to Dez.
Well, makeup girl was kinda rude.
She wouldn't take any of my directions.
Well, she obviously doesn't know how much Spike Stevens values your work.
Mr.
Stevens, I'm so excited wait! Don't move.
The light is hitting you perfectly.
Head up, shoulders back.
You're intrigued, bewildered.
You gasp! And cut.
Welcome to my set, Austin.
I see there's someone here I haven't met whose work I admire very much! Spike, please, you're embarrassing Ally Dawson.
I want to talk to you about that theme song.
I'm thinking it should be subtle, yet bold.
Loud, yet quiet.
Whimsical, yet not whimsical.
Do you understand what I mean? I do But I do not.
So what's the movie about? A Navy fighter pilot who crash-lands on a tropical beach and falls in love with a beautiful mermaid.
I get to play a mermaid?! No, you're the fighter pilot.
Oh, that's cool too.
It's called "the pilot and the mermaid.
" Based on the book, "the mermaid and the pilot.
" Mr.
Stevens, I just wanted to say what an honor it is to be working with you.
Who in the world are you? Uh, this is Dez.
Remember? You said how excited you were that he'd be working as your assistant.
If it wasn't for you, Dez would be a brain surgeon.
So on behalf of everybody in the world with a brain, thank you.
So what do you want me to do first? Run lines with the actors, go over the shots, help with the lighting? Just get me some coffee.
Deca okay, then what? Put a hint of cream in it and deliver it back to me, pronto.
Austin, let me introduce you to your co-star.
- Who is she? - Is she super famous? Have I seen her movies? Wait, don't tell me.
Okay, tell me! Brandy Braxton.
No way! I love her! Her work in "the duchess diaries" really inspired me.
Oh, you want to be an actress too? No, I want to be a duchess.
I look good in tiaras.
Is Brandy really sweet in person, like she is on screen? Ugh! You are worthless! I guess not.
Brandy Braxton doesn't eat sandwiches with tomatoes! I want a new sandwich now! Ugh! Ugh! Aww.
Rebecca Brandon, costumer.
Cheryl vanderflink, mermaid expert.
What are you doing? Labeling scripts for Spike.
I thought he'd teach me how to be a real director.
Instead it's like I'm just some unpaid intern.
Look, that's what it says on the label.
Just some unpaid intern.
" Uh, that's not a bad thing.
All directors start out as unpaid interns.
Do all directors just clean up messes, get coffee, and sharpen pencils? 'Cause that's all Spike's been having me do today.
I bet there's a smart reason why he's having you do all that.
Right, Ally? Uh, yeah.
You sharpen pencils because A director has to stay sharp.
Seriously, Ally? 'Cause that is brilliant! Spike's a genius.
- Hi, Brandy, I'm - Don't talk to me.
I only care about my co-stars.
Uh, hi, Brandy.
- I'm your co-star.
- Don't talk to me either.
I don't really care about my co-stars.
I do have a few rules.
One, don't stand in front of me.
Two, don't look me in the eye.
And three, don't ever touch me.
All right, Austin, I need you to stand in front of Brandy, look her in the eye, and carry her to safety.
Okay, places! This is the first shot of the movie! And action! Cut! Austin! I need you to carry the mermaid to safety.
She's scared.
I'm scared.
Brandy said not to touch her.
What?! I did not.
I can't work like this.
I demand a new co-star now.
Spike, how do you work with her? She's a little cray-cray.
I know, but she's also talented.
Luckily, I know how to control her.
He's gonna show her no one acts like a baby on Spike's Stevens' set.
Do you want your banky? And your bear-bear? Yup, he sure showed her.
Oh, I wuv my bear-bear.
Are you ready to shoot this scene? I'm weady.
But you have to ask beaw-beaw if he's weady.
This is wee-diculous.
Bear-bear, are you weady to shoot this scene? No, bear-bear's thirsty.
Dez, I need you to do something important! Finally, two great directors working to make movie magic.
Get this bear a smoothie.
What does this have to do with directing? So you can learn how to direct more smoothie-ly.
When are you gonna teach me how to be real director? You saw my movie.
You know I'm talented.
Movie? I didn't see your movie.
Oh, but I thought Austin said Wait, if you didn't see my movie, why did you hire me? Because you're Austin's friend.
And I need to keep my stars happy.
Dez I'm sorry.
Me and bear-bear aren't talking to you.
What's that, bear-bear? You're right.
Austin is a jerk for lying to me.
I never said Spike watched your stuff.
You just thought he did.
I didn't have the heart to tell you the truth.
I just really thought he hired me because of my talent.
Hey, it doesn't matter how you got the job.
Working with Spike is still a great opportunity.
You should make the most of it.
You're right.
I'm gonna prove to Spike that I am a great director.
That I'm above all these degrading tasks.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to put a diaper on bear-bear before he makes a poo-poo.
Okay, Spike.
I fed Brandy's bear and I have some ideas about how to shoot this scene.
I'll take the bear.
You keep the ideas.
Hey, he likes what you did with the bear.
Things are looking up.
Spike, I just finished the theme song.
I can't wait for you to hear it.
Well, that was a waste of time.
You need to start over.
What do you mean? I have my own ideas about the song.
I want it to be a duet written from the point of view of the mermaid and rhyme something with the word "aquarium.
" Why not make it in Spanish while you're at it? Good idea.
Make it in Spanish.
But that's not what Spike wanted.
Tell her.
We've all got to do stuff we don't want to keep her happy.
My wife's having a baby in two weeks and we have to name it Brandy.
And it's a boy.
Fine, I'll write the song the way she wants.
I can rhyme "aquarium.
" If you need me, I'll be over there-ium.
See, I'm already doing it.
Can you believe her attitude? I don't get any respect on this set.
And on top of that, my manager just quit on me for some mysterious reason.
It's not much of a mystery.
I'll be your new manager.
Bear-bear! If I don't get a new manager, I'm going to quit.
Um, Trish will be your new manager.
I don't want to get my head ripped off.
Do it for me.
Spike will see that I'm solving problems.
That's what good directors do.
Fine, but I am not doing anything weird.
Who wants a yogurt? Brandy wants a yogurt.
I don't like blueberry.
What? This is useless.
It doesn't matter what I do.
Spike's never gonna see me as a director.
Don't give up yet, Dez.
You never know when destiny's going to call.
Spike, your wife destiny is calling! She's going into labor.
You have to go to the hospital right now.
What?! She's two weeks early.
I can't leave now.
If we don't shoot this scene today, the studio will shut us down.
Dez, this is your chance.
I'll shoot it for you.
Listen to him.
He's a really good director.
Yeah, he directs all my music videos.
What do you have to lose? Let me prove to you that I got what it takes.
I guess I have no choice.
Don't mess this up, Dez.
We're counting on you.
Destiny! Yes! This is my big break.
Okay, Brandy, let's shoot this.
I want Spike.
I'm not listening to you.
You're just some unpaid intern.
Ah-la-la-la-la - La-la-la-la - Oh, no, she's losing it.
Somebody do something! Calm down, Brandy.
Here's your juicy box.
I don't want a juicy box.
What do you think I am? A baby? Ehh.
Oh! Okay, I've had it! I can't work with this selfish brat anymore! No one talks to me like that! I'm quitting this movie! But if you quit, there is no movie.
We'll all be out of jobs and I'll lose my one shot at being a director.
Too bad.
You can thank Whatever her name is.
Hey, buddy.
What are you doing? Since I'm not gonna be a director, I'm studying to be a brain surgeon.
Don't you think that's a little tough? Nah, it's not like it's brain surgery.
Wait.
Are you okay? I just really wanted to prove to Spike that I have what it takes.
I guess I don't.
Hey, don't give up, Dez.
You're too talented.
I didn't want to give up, but what choice did I have? Brandy quit.
I bet if Trish apologizes to Brandy, she'll want to come back and finish the movie.
Fine.
I'll tell Brandy I'm sorry.
- Oh.
- Yeah! I guess I am partly to blame for some of this.
Why? Because you lost your temper, 'causing Brandy to walk off the film, making it impossible for me to shoot and destroying my dream? You're right.
It's no one's fault.
Hey, Brandy, thanks for coming.
Trish has something she wants to tell you.
Before you do, I'd just like to tell you that I don't respect you as a manager or a person.
You are not making this easy.
Brandy, I'm sorry I called you a selfish brat.
I was just jealous because you are so much better than me in every way.
Thank you, Trish.
I accept your apology.
But I think you're forgetting about someone else.
Seriously? I'm sorry, bear-bear.
He forgives you too.
We're back in.
- Oh, yeah! Oh! - Yeah! Okay, Brandy.
This is the final scene.
Austin carries you to the water and kisses you good-bye.
He waves with his hand as you wave with your tail.
I don't like this ending.
Why can't he swim off into the sunset while I stay on the land? Yes! I get to be the mermaid! No, Brandy's the mermaid.
I don't want to be the mermaid! I want my blanky.
I want my bear-bear.
I want my yogurt.
And I want a unicorn that breathes fire! That is it, young lady! I've had enough of your temper tantrums.
Now you listen to me or you're getting a timeout.
You're the actress.
I'm the director.
Now stop acting like a baby, get on the beach, and be the mermaid! Have I made myself clear?! Yes, sir.
I'm sorry, sir.
I'll be good.
I promise.
Vance, calibrate the camera lens.
Rebecca, get her in the costume.
Casey, we need more wind on those palm trees.
And, Austin, you stay handsome.
Quiet on set! Slate! And action.
Mermaid, I'll never love anyone as much as I love you.
Oh, pilot I wish I could stay, but I can only breathe oxygen for 20 minutes at a time.
And cut.
Love it! Spike, what are you doing here? My wife wasn't really going into labor.
Yeah, we planned all that stuff just so you would have a chance to direct.
Wait, so you were all in on this? Yeah, after you found out I only hired you because of Austin, they begged me to watch your films.
They were good.
After seeing what you did here today, I'm sure you're going to be great at it.
- Thanks, Spike.
- Way to go, buddy.
- I knew you could do it.
- I'm proud of you, Dez.
So does this mean I have to go back to doing all those degrading tasks? Hey, all those "tasks" helped make you a better director.
Sharpened pencils helped you make your shot list.
Labeling those scripts helped you learn the crew's names.
Everything you did helped the movie run more smoothie-ly.
Ma.
I was.
Thanks for doing this, guys.
I still can't believe how you pulled it off.
First, you made a famous director pretend that his wife was in labor.
Then, you made a famous actress pretend that she was a whack-a-doodle.
Ha! I love you, bear-bear.
I wuv you mowe, bwandy.
No, I love you more, bear-bear! Yeah, she's not pretending.
Whew! Guys, I finished editing the music video Spike let me direct to promote the movie.
I can't wait to hear Ally's song.
Just so you know, because of Brandy, I had to translate it from English to Spanish and back to English.
So the lyrics may seem a little weird.
The heart of the mermaid Can be so tender things My fin scales is green And it is slimy like fin scales are I just wish you wasn't The half fish I'd like to be married with him But then it would be necessary To live in a fish tank with him You kisses is salty But this I do blame you not for I never think emotions Would feel so not good Too bad You no ocean live at