Ed, Edd n Eddy (1999) s03e11 Episode Script

1
Man: YEAH.
[WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP]
HA HA HA.
BACK AND FORTH. BACK AND FORTH.
BACK AND FORTH. HA HA HA.
ARGH!
STOP IT!
SARAH, NO!
[GASP]
GIMME IT, ED.
WHAT?
YOU GIVE ME THAT STUPID THING
OR I'll I'll [GROWLS]
FINE.
IF THAT'S THE WAY YOU WANT IT
I'M TELLING MOM.
NO!
DON'T TELL MOM, SARAH!
[WOMAN HUMMING]
MOM!
AS MUCH AS I HATE TATTLETALING,
I THINK YOU SHOULD KNOW
ED WON'T LET ME
WATCH TELEVISION.
MOM, SARAH'S FIBBING.
HONEST AND FOR TRULY.
I WAS IN MY HAPPY PLACE,
LOST IN THE VOID OF MY MIND.
EDWARD, HOW MANY
TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU
TO BE NICE TO YOUR BABY SISTER?
AAH!
DON'T YOU LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT.
AAH!
PLEASE, MOM, IT WASN'T ME.
I SEE WE'LL HAVE TO WIPE THA
SILLY GRIN OFF YOUR FACE, WON'T WE?
BUT, MOM, SARAH
[MMPH]
YOU ARE ACCUSED OF SHIRKING THE
RESPONSIBILITY OF AN OLDER BROTHER.
WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY
FOR YOURSELF, YOUNG MAN?
[MMPH]
HAS THE JURY REACHED A VERDICT?
All: GUILTY.
WELL, EDWARD, AS YOUR MOTHER
I SENTENCE YOU TO BE
THROWN INTO THE KANKER PIT.
NO!
Mom: SERVES YOU RIGHT.
BAD FOR ED, FOR ME. BAD FOR ED!
THIS HURTS ME MORE
THAN IT DOES YOU, SON.
AAH!
I TOLD YOU THA
WOULD SHUT HIM UP.
ED? ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
YOU MUST HAVE HAD
A HORRIBLE DREAM.
IT WAS, DOUBLE D.
I WAS IN MY HAPPY PLACE,
AND SARAH TOLD
MY MOM I DID SOME
Eddy: THAT'S REAL WACKY, ED.
WAIT! HERE'S AN IDEA.
WE GOT TO GO.
EDDY, NIGHTMARES CAN
HAVE LASTING AFTEREFFECTS.
WHY, THERE HAVE BEEN STUDIES
THAT HAVE CORRELATED ASSIMILATIONS
BETWEEN THE DREAM ITSELF
AND THE REAL WORLD, IF YOU WILL.
OH, COME ON!
NAZZ INVITED US TO HER SHINDIG.
WE NEVER GE
INVITED TO ANYTHING.
WELL, I'M OUT OF HERE.
SO, ANYWAYS,
THE KANKERS STARTED
KISSING ME IN A PIT
I DIDN'T KNOW WE WERE INVITED.
COMING, ED?
YOU BETCHA!
HA HA HA HA.
ALLEY-OOP!
[EDDY WOLF WHISTLES]
[PIANO MUSIC PLAYING]
WHAT A WASTE OF A LIFE.
DID I WIN, SARAH? DID I?
BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME, JIMMY.
GO, NAZZ! GO!
[CROWD CHEERING]
YOUR TURN, SARAH.
WHAT KIND OF PARTY
IS THIS? SPORTS?
GYMNASTICS, EDDY.
A SERIES OF EXERCISES
THAT DEVELOP AND DEMONSTRATE
STRENGTH, BALANCE, AND AGILITY.
SOMERSAULTS,
HOOPDIHOOPS, AND TIPPY-TOES.
ALL GIRLY STUFF.
OH!
TIPPY-TOES!
HA HA HA HA.
THAT'S THE
COMPETITIVE SPIRIT, ED.
I'M A GYM BAG.
HA HA HA HA.
HI, ED. GLAD YOU COULD MAKE IT.
HIYA, ED.
[COYOTE HOWLS]
Mom: I SEE WE'LL HAVE TO WIPE THA
SILLY GRIN OFF YOUR FACE, WON'T WE?
AAH!
IT WASN'T MY FAULT!
EXHILARATING.
DON'T TAKE MY MOUTH!
Edd: ED? ED, STOP IT.
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
I'M BEGINNING TO
WORRY ABOUT YOU, ED.
WHAT'S WITH HIM?
JONNY'S MAD AT ME, GUYS.
GRASS IS MOTHER NATURE'S
WALL-TO-WALL BROADLOOM, BUDDY.
JOHNNY'S NOT MAD AT YOU, ED.
PLEASE COME DOWN.
UH-UH.
UH.
GET ME A ROCK.
I'll GET HIM DOWN.
Nazz: LISTEN UP, EVERYBODY.
IT'S TIME FOR THE BALANCE BEAM.
ISN'T THAT WHAT YOU WAN
TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
ME FIRST! ME FIRST!
I GOT YOU, BUDDY.
I GOT YOU!
HA HA HA.
LOOKS GOOD ON YOU, JUGHEAD.
10 OUT OF 10.
WELL, IT'S NO
REALLY GYMNASTICS,
BUT IT'S ORIGINAL,
TO SAY THE LEAST.
HEY, NAZZ IS GIVING OUT RIBBONS.
QUIT YOUR BLUBBERING, ED.
GET DOWN HERE
AND WIN ME A RIBBON.
I LOVE RIBBONS.
I AM ASTOUNDED
BY YOUR CALLOUS,
SELF-SERVING ATTITUDE
TO ED'S STRANGE AND
DISTRAUGHT BEHAVIOR.
AS A FRIEND, YOU SHOULD
BE MORE RIBBONS!
[PIANO MUSIC PLAYING]
LOOK AT ME.
I'M SO GRACEFUL AND PETITE.
PARDON ME, MISS.
I GOT IT!
[MEOW!] I GOT IT!
I GOT IT.
Ed: I GOT IT.
HEY, JUDGE.
GET READY TO JO
DOWN ANOTHER WINNER.
COCK-A-DOODLE-DO.
YOU THINK HE'LL
LAY AN EGG, EDDY?
AAH!
I AM A GOOD BROTHER.
IT WAS NOT MY FAULT.
BOY, ED, YOU'RE FREAKIN' ME OUT.
AAH!
Judge: HA HA HA!
ED'S JUST WARMIN' UP.
SOME MUMBO JUMBO
STRETCHIN' STUFF.
ATHLETES. HA. GO FIGURE.
PLANK SAYS, "COULD
HAVE FOOLED ME."
HE JUST THOUGHT ED WAS NUTS.
Edd: PLEASE EXCUSE ED.
FUNNY, BUT ED'S ADVERSE BEHAVIOR
SEEMS TO BE
ASSOCIATED WITH JOHNNY.
SOMEWHAT LIKE A PHOBIA.
LA DI DA DI DA DI DA ♪
SO? THE KID WEIRDS ME OUT, TOO.
LOOK AT HIM.
THERE'S NO REASON
TO FEAR JOHNNY, ED.
HE'S A GOOD FELLOW
WHO WOULDN'T HARM A FLY.
OH, NO WAY.
HE IS MAD AT ME.
HE WANTS TO PUNISH BAD ED.
[ED SLURPING]
ARE YOU DONE YET?
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
ANIMAL.
Ed: YUM YUM YUM.
[SLURPING CONTINUES]
[WHISPERING]
'BOUT TIME.
OH, ED.
WOULDN'T IT BE FUN IF
WE HAD SOME COMPANY?
YOU BET!
DO YOU THINK THEY
WILL LIKE PEANUT BUTTER?
OH, I'M SURE THEY WOULD.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
[DOORBELL RINGS]
[DOORBELL RINGING]
[DOORBELL RINGING]
ED? I BELIEVE THERE'S
SOMEONE AT YOUR DOOR.
COMPANY!
OH, GOODY! GOODY!
HELLO?
HA HA HA HA.
[CRASH] Ed: HELLO.
OH DEAR.
HA HA HA.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
AH.
THANK YOU FOR COMING.
RIGHT THIS WAY, PLEASE.
HELLO!
HAVE I MISSED ANYTHING?
Ed: HELLO!
[CRASH]
HELLO! NOPE.
HELLO! [CRASH]
CAN WE GET ON WITH IT?
NO, PLEASE, NOT AGAIN.
LET'S HAVE A SEAT, SHALL WE?
THERE'S SOMEONE I'D
LIKE YOU TO TALK TO.
HIYA, ED!
[ALARM BELLS RINGING]
AAH!
IT WASN'T ME!
SARAH'S LYING!
Edd: THAT'S QUITE ENOUGH, ED.
THE ONLY WAY TO CONQUER
YOUR FEAR OF JONNY
IS TO ATTACK IT HEAD-ON.
IT'S UP TO YOU TWO NOW
TO RESOLVE THIS DILEMMA.
YEAH. I WANT TO
GET ON WITH MY LIFE.
ME AND PLANK HAVE NO IDEA
WHAT THE HECK YOU
GUYS ARE TALKING ABOUT.
FIRST STAGE IS
ALWAYS DENIAL, JONNY.
KISS AND MAKE UP, NOW.
HA HA HA.
EEK.
YOU HAVE A MOUTH.
WHY DON'T YOU ASK HIM?
PLANK SAYS THIS HURTS
HIM MORE THAN IT DOES YOU.
I LOVE YOU, MOM!
AAH!
WHAT A NIGHTMARE.
THAT'S IT.
NO MORE FREE-RANGE
SOYBEANS BEFORE BED.
NIGHTY NIGHT, BUDDY.
HA HA HA HA.
Eddy: OH, ED.
WHAT DO YOU THINK? HUH?
Edd: I'M SURROUNDED BY IDIOTS.
COOL.
IT IS SO FLAT.
A WALL, EDDY?
CERTAINLY YOU JEST.
YOU WANT TO SEE
MY BROTHER'S ROOM?
YOUR BROTHER'S ROOM?
EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF!
Eddy: HEY, WAIT A MINUTE!
WHO GAVE YOU PERMISSION
TO TOUCH HIS DOOR?
NOBODY.
THAT'S RIGHT, ED.
HAVE A SEAT.
RELAX.
MAYBE I CAN TRIM YOUR
TOENAILS OR SOMETHING.
OH, BE STILL MY HEART.
AAH!
NOW THEN.
IF YOU TOUCH ANYTHING
IN MY BROTHER'S ROOM,
I'll Edd: EDDY?
HOW DO YOU SUPPOSE WE ENTER
THIS OUTPOURING OF RESISTANCE?
NO PROBLEM.
I GOT A KEY.
COME ON IN, BOYS.
CHECK IT OUT.
Ed: YOUR BROTHER'S
ROOM IS COOL, EDDY!
Eddy: MY BROTHER
IS THE COOLEST, ED.
Edd: YES, WELL, IN
SOME CIRCLES, I'M SURE.
SHALL WE THROW
CAUTION TO THE WIND
AND ENTER THIS
LAIR OF WATCH IT!
MY BROTHER WAS A
WHIZ AT BOOBY TRAPS.
HA HA HA.
BUT, EDDY, THE SAFE!
I ALREADY CHECKED IT, DOUBLE D.
IT'S EMPTY. Edd: YEOW!
CAN'T YOU JUS
SMELL HIS GREATNESS?
I THINK THAT IS ME, EDDY.
Eddy: LOOK AT THIS!
AIN'T SHE A BEAUT?
[PURRS]
MY BROTHER SAID I COULD
HAVE IT WHEN I TURN 14.
NOT THAT IT'S OUT OF PLACE
IN THIS DEN OF DISHEVELMENT,
BUT WHY IS THERE A VEHICLE
SITTING IN YOUR
BROTHER'S BEDROOM?
HE KEEPS HIS SNAKE IN THE TRUNK.
HUH. THE LITTLE WEASEL
MUST HAVE ESCAPED AGAIN.
ESCAPED?
OH DEAR, OH DEAR, OH
HEY, WATCH THE CAMEL!
I SAID NO TOUCHING.
I WISH I HAD A ROOM LIKE THIS.
AH-CHOO!
DUST.
FROM A CAMEL.
WHO KNOWS WHERE THA
THING HAS WALLOWED.
AIR. I NEED AIR!
HA HA!
MY BROTHER WAS A
WHIZ AT LAYING BRICKS.
HEY, LUMPY. DID
YOU CATCH THAT ONE?
ED! GET AWAY FROM THERE!
WHAT'D I TELL YOU?
DON'T TOUCH ANY OF
MY BROTHER'S STUFF, ED.
EVER THOUGHT OF RENTIN' OU
THAT EMPTY SPACE YOU CALL A HEAD?
OH, LOOK AT THE TIME.
GOT TO GO. TA TA.
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
DID I TELL YOU MY BROTHER
WAS A WHIZ AT CHEWIN' ICE CUBES?
Ed: COOL.
OH.
AH AH-CHOO!
PLEASE, EDDY.
I'M SURE YOUR BROTHER WAS
A MULTIFACETED INDIVIDUAL,
BUT I
[GASPING]
DID IT DENT?
I WILL GET IT, EDDY.
NICE AND SOFT, LIKE A KITTEN.
ED! GET YOUR SLOBBERING
MOUTH OFF MY BROTHER'S TROPHY!
OH! OH!
OK, THAT'S IT. I PROTEST.
LET GO, YOU PATHETIC
EXCUSE FOR A LUMP!
OH! LET GO!
ED!
I'VE TRULY HAD ENOUGH OF
READ TO ME WHAT IS ON
THE PRETTY PAPER, DOUBLE D.
FORGET THE STUPID PAPER!
FIND ME SOME STUPID TAPE.
WHY, I DO BELIEVE THIS IS A MAP.
LET ME SEE THAT THING.
IT'S A MAP TO MY
BROTHER'S SECRET STASH!
WE'RE GOING TO BE RICH!
SWIMMIN' IN MOOLAH! ROLLIN' IN HAY!
UH
I THINK IT'S IN GREEK.
MY BROTHER WAS A
WHIZ AT BAZUKI PLAYING.
YES, WELL.
IT APPEARS TO BE SOME
FORM OF ENCODING.
LET'S DRY IT OUT AT MY HOUSE.
MY MOM HAS A STOVE.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, ED?
MY STOVE'LL WORK FINE.
OH, PLEASE.
THE STRANGE THING IS ALL
TREASURE MAPS HAVE SOME INDICATION
AS TO ITS LOCATION.
A STAR, AN "X," A CROSS.
BUT I DON'T SEE ANYTHING HERE.
IT'S BAFFLING.
DO YOU SEE ONE
HERE, BECAUSE I DON'T.
THIS REQUIRES CAREFUL STUDYING
AND CAN ONLY BE SOLVED BY
INGENUITY AND PATIENT EFFORT.
MEET ME AT MY HOUSE IN ONE HOUR.
ONE HOUR?
AND I'll HAVE YOUR
ANSWER TO OUR DESTINY.
GENTLEMEN.
GREAT.
WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED
TO DO FOR AN HOUR?
I'VE GOT AN ELASTIC, EDDY.
BIG DEAL.
[SNAP] YEOWCH!
WHY DID YOU PUMMEL
MY DOOR WITH A SHOVEL?
SO, WHERE DO WE
START DIGGING, DOUBLE D?
I CONCEDE TO YOUR
BROTHER'S INGENUITY.
I COULDN'T DECIPHER THE MAP.
WHAT?
I TRIED EVERYTHING.
I EXHAUSTED ALL THEOREMS.
ELIMINATED ALL CONJECTURE.
PONDERED EVERY VIEWPOINT.
BUT THIS IS ONE MOTHER
OF A TREASURE MAP, EDDY!
YOU'RE SUPPOSED
TO BE THE SMART GUY!
YOU'RE MESSING WITH
OUR GROUP DYNAMIC!
IT'S BEYOND ME, EDDY.
HE ALWAYS HAD IT OUT FOR ME.
HE'S DOING THIS ON
PURPOSE, I TELL YOU!
I NEED THAT TREASURE
BAD, DOUBLE D.
I THINK I JUST THUNK.
HA HA HA.
LET GO OF ME, FUNNELHEAD.
Ed: "X" MARKS THE
SPOT, DOUBLE D.
YUP.
HMM.
BY JOVE, HE'S GOT IT.
ED, HOW DID YOU DO THAT?
BECAUSE I'M A BROTHER,
AND EDDY'S BROTHER IS A BROTHER,
AND EDDY IS A BROTHER
TO EDDY'S BROTHER
AS A BROTHER I AM.
UM NICELY PUT, ED.
OH, BROTHER.
NOW, IF I WERE TO PLACE THIS
OVER TOP OF YOUR BROTHER'S MAP,
THERE MAY BE A CORRELATION
TO THE AREA OF ITS LOCATION.
HURRY UP. I'M
STARTIN' TO SEE SPOTS.
I FOUND IT!
OH, NO.
EDDY, ACCORDING
TO MY CALCULATIONS,
YOUR BROTHER'S TREASURE LIES
DEEP WITHIN THE CONFINES OF
THE TRAILER PARK!
Eddy: KANKERS!
MY BROTHER'S A
WHIZ AT TICKIN' ME OFF.
HEY, WHAT STINKS?
WHAT'S GOIN' ON OUT HERE?
WHO THE HECK ARE YOU?
SLUG HIM, LEE.
SHUT UP. I'M CONCENTRATIN'.
JUST CONSTRUCTION
WORKERS DOING THEIR JOB, MISS.
YESSIREE.
WE'RE REPAIRING A DARN
BROKEN SEWAGE PIPE.
UM, SO HENCE THE, UM, STINK.
I'VE SEEN THIS GUY BEFORE.
LEMME SEE SOME
I.D. THERE, MR. MAN.
Second Kanker: HE'S SO CUTE.
THERE YOU GO, MISS.
THAT'S ME. WALTER SOBCHACK.
A CONSTRUCTION WORKER.
GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME.
YUP.
SEE YOU LATER, CUTIE.
GIVE ME A CALL SOMETIME, WALLY.
[KANKERS GIGGLING]
MAN, THAT WAS CLOSE.
SO WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR?
LET'S GO GET OUR
LOOT, BUDDY BOY!
CAN'T YOU SEE I'M TRYING
TO REGAIN MY COMPOSURE?
UGH.
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
HEAVENS, ED, PLEASE
ZIP UP YOUR GYM BAG.
WE'RE QUITE DONE WITH IT.
IT'S NOT JUST A
GYM BAG, DOUBLE D.
IT'S A WAY OF LIFE.
SHALL WE RESUME OUR QUEST?
IF MY INTERPRETATION
OF THE MAP IS CORRECT,
THE TREASURE SHOULD BE BURIED
UNDERNEATH THE KANKERS' TRAILER.
LET'S START DIGGIN'!
LET'S GET ED TO DIG.
THIS BUTTER SHOULD
PROVIDE ENOUGH LUBRICATION
IN ORDER FOR YOU TO
SQUEEZE UNDER THE TRAILER, ED.
MY FANTASY COME TRUE.
I AM BUTTERED TOAST.
SHH!
YOU WANT THE KANKERS TO HEAR YA?
NOW START DIGGIN'.
WHOA!
HA HA HA!
HA HA!
Ed: HA HA HA!
GETTING SLIPPERY, EDD!
[BELCH]
Edd: ED, CONTROL YOURSELF!
HO HO HO.
[CRASH]
I BET IT'S GOLD.
OR ROUGH-CUT DIAMONDS.
[CRASH]
IT SMELLS UNDER HERE, GUYS.
DOWN, ED. DOWN.
PUT IT DOWN.
WHAT?
GO TELL THOSE GUYS
TO KEEP IT DOWN, LEE.
HEY, WALTER!
NO SIGN OF 'EM, MARIE.
MUST BE ON A COFFEE BREAK.
THIS IS BECOMING
EXTREMELY DANGEROUS, EDDY.
LET'S GET THE STASH
AND GET OUT OF HERE.
IS THAT YOU TICKLING ME, EDDY?
HEY, LEE?
GET OFF YOUR RUMP
AND RUN MY BATH.
GET SOME EXERCISE.
IT'S GOOD FOR YOU.
HEY, GUYS!
Ed: I HIT SOMETHING!
HA HA HA. GET OUT OF
THE WAY, MONOBROW.
I'M RICH!
FILTHY RICH!
LEE, GIVE ME THE STRAINER.
THESE CLOTHES ARE CRUSTY.
AAH! AAH!
WHAT'S GOING ON IN HERE?
WHERE'D YOU PU
THE TREASURE, ED?
I DON'T SEE IT, ED.
OVER THERE, EDDY.
THERE YOU ARE.
OH, MAN, I CAN SEE IT NOW.
MANSIONS. YACHTS.
FRIENDS.
Edd: WISHBONES?
I'M SO CONFUSED.
I THINK YOUR BROTHER'S A
WHIZ AT PULLING YOUR LEG, EDDY.
LOOKS LIKE WE'VE ADOPTED
SOME GROUNDHOGS,
EH, GIRLS?
CUTE CHUBBY-CHEEKED ONES, TOO.
HEY! I FORGOT WHERE I HID THESE!
WHAT DO WE DO NOW, GUYS?
WE'LL PAY YOU A BRIBE.
50 CENTS. FROM EACH OF US.
50? PAY?
I CAN'T BREATHE.
AHH!
GUYS, WAIT!
OH, NO, YOU DON'T.
I'll GIVE YOU AN I.O.U.
COME ON! SPOT ME!
CATCH YOU LATER, EDDY.
OH, ED.
IF ONLY I HAD BROUGH
JUST A FEW MORE COINS.
YOU DID THE BROTHERLY
THING, DOUBLE D.
YOU REALLY THINK SO, ED?
THINK WHAT, DOUBLE D?
Eddy: HELP ME!
ED, EDD, AND EDDY!
Man: YEAH.