Glee s03e11 Episode Script
Michael
Admit it, Wonder twins, the only reason why the New Direction beat the Trouble Tones at Sectionals is because that pervy clown judge was freaking high as a kite.
And we did Michael Jackson.
You guys didn't.
That was weeks ago.
Why are you still obssessing? - One word, Curt.
Michael.
- Guys, fear not.
The world tour of the Cirque du Soleil tribute show, Immortal, to Michael Jackson is coming to Columbus in June.
We should all go.
You don't get it.
I don't want to see the spectacle that is Michael.
I want to be the spectacle.
- Everything okay? - Look, we love being back in New Direction, but - We hate that we missed our chance this year to do Michael.
- Yeah, I get it.
And I've been thinking a lot about Regionals and maybe we can do Michael again.
I for one know exactly what song we should start Michael with.
Okay, it's been exactly 3 days to the minute since I proposed to you which is the amount of time you said you needed before you'd give me an answer.
Look, this isn't the kind of decision you can make on a deadline.
Look, I understand, you said you needed some time, but not hearing a decision's kind of bumming me out.
No.
Look I love you, okay? And I want to marry you someday, and I, really, I'm open to anything.
This is all just happening so fast, and I don't understand it.
I mean, I I need you to help me understand.
Okay, well, even if you don't get into NYADA, you're still gonna go to New York.
Yes, and I want you to come with me.
And I will, but we're crazy if we think that it's gonna be easier to be a couple there than it is here.
My point is that those rings are-are will always be a reminder of exactly how we feel right now.
They're gonna let us take a piece of our little world into the big city.
Look, that's really romantic, but I have to be honest-- this all just sounds really crazy to me, okay? I don't need to marry you to keep from straying-- you're the only guy for me.
Okay, I guess my answer for now is No, no, don't don't say anything.
You're right, we shouldn't make this kind of a decision on a deadline.
Just, uh take a couple more days, okay? (piano playing "I Just Can't Stop Loving You") (bell rings) Okay, favorite Michael Jackson memory.
Go.
When I was one, my mom showed me the VHS tape of his Motown special, and when he did the moonwalk across the stage for the first time in history, I uttered my first words: "Hot damn.
" I owe the King of Pop a deep debt of gratitude.
He was the first one to pull off the sequined military jacket, long before one Kurt Hummel made it iconic.
I have to be honest-- I never really got him.
And we are no longer on speaking terms.
No, I think he's an amazing performer, but I've never really just got what he was about.
Rachel, he was best friends with Liza Minnelli and Liz Taylor.
No, all I'm saying is that I-I just I haven't connected with him the way that I have with the likes of Barbra or either of the Stephens.
Sondheim.
Schwartz.
I'd throw this mocha in your face, but it's not nearly scalding enough.
Okay, but just, since you guys are so jazzed about him, I think it's a good idea.
Well, that might not be the best idea.
Hey, Blaine.
Hello, everyone else.
Does he live here or something? Seriously, you are always here.
Why don't you think that's a good idea? Because we're doing MJ for Regionals.
You see, Warblers drew first position, so as soon as I heard what your plan was, I changed our set list accordingly.
I'm sorry, how how did you hear? Uh, Blaine told me this morning.
I just called for a tip on how to get red wine out of my blazer piping, and he would not stop going on about it.
I may have mentioned it.
How often do you talk? Oh, my God, hey, Kurt.
I didn't recognize you.
You are wearing boy clothes for once.
All right, twink, I think it's time that I show you a little Lima Heights hospitality.
Unless you want to join your relatives in prison, that's probably not the best idea.
You see, my dad is sort of what you'd call a state's attorney.
But if you had a piñata you wanted delivered, I bet he could make sure that got to them.
All right, so here's what you guys should know.
I am captain of the Warblers now, and I'm tired of playing nice.
There has to be some kind of show choir competition committee we can complain to.
I know it sucks, guys, but it's not the end of the world.
Heck, you had your set list stolen the day of the competition at Sectionals, and you pulled that one off, right? Well, they can have our Journey and our Dreamgirls, but pilfering my Michael, mm-mm, that's another level, not okay.
I'm not exactly comfortable having this conversation with Blaine in the room.
Clearly, once a Warbler, always a Warbler.
Uh, wh-what? Dude, you told them what we were gonna do.
You're like a modern-day Eggs Benedict.
He's on notice as far as I'm concerned.
FINN: We should all be on notice.
I mean, next to Vocal Adrenaline, the Warblers are the best Glee Club in the state, and for a lot of us, this is our last shot at a championship, so we should stop complaining about the Warblers and figure out how to beat them.
I couldn't have said it better myself, Finn.
I'm less worried about our set list right now and more interested in getting us in the right mindset to crush those guys.
Which is why our lesson for the week is What Would Michael Jackson Do? He'd fight back.
He'd say Regionals is ours, MJ is ours, and if they want it, they can pry it from o sequin-gloved hand.
Mm-hmm.
Straight up.
In 1983, MTV said they wouldn't air his "Billie Jean" video.
What'd he do? He fought back.
They aired it, and the Thriller album sold an additional ten million copies.
That's right.
I know what Michael would do.
I think he would take it to the streets.
(intro to "Billie Jean" plays) Well we're here.
We got something to settle.
Both of us want to use MJ, but only one can.
We're having a Jackson-off, Nick at Nite.
Winner gets the King of Pop for Regionals.
What, us against the two of you? You really think you're that bad? Is that what they teach you at that little public school of yours? It's time to see who's bad.
(snaps fingers) ("Billie Jean" fades into intro to "Bad") Ba, ba, ba, ba Dow, dow, dow, dow-dow Dow, dow, dow, dow-dow Dow, dow, dow, dow-dow Dow, dow, dow Your butt is mine Gonna take you right Just show your face In broad daylight I'm telling you On how I feel Gonna hurt your mind Don't shoot to kill Come on Come on, lay it on me All right Dow, dow, dow, dow-dow Dow, dow, dow, dow-dow Your lyin' eyes Gonna take you right So listen up Don't make a fight Your talk is cheap You're not a man You're throwing stones To hide your hands Well, they say the sky's the limit And to me that's really true But, my friends, you have seen nothing Just wait till I get through, because I'm bad Bad, bad I'm bad Really, really bad Come on You know I'm bad, I'm bad Bad, bad Really, really bad You know it You know I'm bad Bad, bad Really, really bad Come on, you know And the whole world has to answer right now Just to tell you once again, who's bad! Dow, dow, dow, dow-dow Dow, dow, dow Dow-dow, dow, dow, dow Oh, oh, oh-oh, oh Oh, oh-oh-oh, oh Oh, oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Oh Oh Yeah! 'Cause I'm bad, I'm bad Bad, really, really bad Come on You know I'm bad, I'm bad Bad, bad Really, really bad You know it, you know And the whole world has to answer right now Just to tell you once again You know I'm bad, I'm bad Bad, bad You know it Really, really bad And the whole world has to answer right now Just to tell you once again, who's bad! (song stops) (gasping, shouting) (Blaine yelling) Oh, my God! (Blaine yelling, groaning) (bell rings) How is he? Is he okay? Uh, it's his right eye.
Uh, the doctor says that his cornea is deeply scratched and he has to have surgery.
In all my years as a teacher and a student, I have never known a slushee to do that kind of damage.
That's 'cause it wasn't a normal slushee, Mr.
Shue.
There was stuff in it, rocks or something.
He wanted to do that damage.
Well, unless you have proof that he tampered with the slushee the police aren't interested in getting involved.
Sebastian is evil.
He needs to be expelled.
Look, Figgins and I spoke to Dalton's headmaster.
They're opening up an investigation.
So, guys, I'm telling you, please let the system handle this one.
No.
Dalton's old-school, Mr.
Shue-- they're not gonna turn their backs on one of their own-- we need payback.
An eye for an eye.
No.
I have a zero-tolerance policy for violence, of any kind.
That's not how we do things.
No, we sing, and that's all we ever do.
Do you want to get disqualified from Regionals? I don't give a damn about Regionals.
What do you expect from us? We're people.
I know the rest of the world may not see us like that, but when they tease us and throw stuff at us and toss us in Dumpsters and tell us that we're nothing but losers with stupid dreams, it freaking hurts.
And we're supposed to turn the other cheek and be the bigger man by telling ourselves that those dreams and how hard we work make us better than them, but it gets pretty damn hard to feel that way when they always get to win.
I get how upsetting this is for you.
No, you don't, and don't give me any of that "it gets better" crap because I'm not interested in it getting any better.
I want it to be better, like, right now.
I want to hurt them the way they hurt us.
No, worse.
I want them to feel my pain because frankly that's all I have left to give.
Artie, take a break.
We'll be here when you get back.
("Scream" begins) Who's with me? (screams) Hee (siren wailing) Hee I'm tired of injustice I'm tired of the schemes It's kind of disgusting So what does it mean, Daddy? You're kickin' me down, I got to get up As jacked as it sounds, the whole system sucks, Daddy Hoo-hoo I peek in the shadow Hoo-hoo I come into the light Hoo-hoo But you tell me I'm wrong Hee-hee Then you better prove you're right You're sellin' out souls, but I care about mine I've got to get stronger and I won't give up the fight With such confusion don't it make you wanna scream? Make you wanna scream Your bash abusin' victimizin' with the scheme You try to cope with every lie they scrutinize Somebody please have mercy 'Cause I just can't take it Stop pressurin' me, just stop pressurin' me Just stop pressurin' me Make me wanna scream Just stop pressurin' me, just stop pressurin' me Just stop pressurin' me You make me wanna scream (overlapping voices) Oh, my God, can't believe what I saw as I turned on the TV This evening I was disgusted by all the injustice (echoing): All the injustice (Artie screams) Yeah, yeah Baby Whoo (Artie screams) Stop pressurin' me Stop your pressure Just stop pressurin' me Stop your pressure Just stop pressurin' me You know you really make me wanna You make me wanna scream Just stop pressurin' me Hee-hee Just stop pressurin' me Stop your pressure Yeah, yeah You make me wanna scream Baby Stop pressurin' me Got to do it Just stop pressurin' me Stop your pressure Just stop pressurin' me You make me wanna scream.
Artie? Artie.
I think I better roll away.
(school bell ringing) Hey.
Look, I need your advice, all right, about, about an adult problem.
Holy crap, are you pregnant? No.
Look, I'm, I'm coming to you as a friend and, oddly, because I also think that you're the only person that'll give me just a, a straightforward and a thoughtful answer about this.
You're right, I'm sorry.
Yes, I can keep a secret.
Okay well, um Finn asked me to marry him.
(gasps) What did you say? I said I-I needed to think about it.
Well, you can't.
Why? I mean, plenty of people get married at our age, and, I mean, I know that he and I haven't lived together or anything, but, you know, I love him and he's the one, I know it.
What's this? My ticket out of here.
I got into Yale, early admissions.
Turns out my essay about overcoming adversity while maintaining a straight-A average during a teen pregnancy really turned on the admissions boards.
Quinn, that's amazing.
That's so great.
That's great.
I'm sure you'll get your NYADA one soon.
Oh, yeah, I mean, New York mail is notoriously slow, so it's My point being is that I've dated Finn, Puck, Sam.
Even thought I loved some of them, but by the time the snow falls in New Haven next winter, I won't know why.
So are, are you saying that Finn and I should break up? I'm all for making the most of the next few months, but I'd hate the idea o-of dragging an anchor from my past into the bright lights of my future.
Rachel, you have an amazing life ahead of you.
As hard as it may be, if you want everything that you've ever dreamed of, you're going to have to break up with him.
That's an awful thing to say.
Look, you wanted straight and thoughtful.
I guess at one point it made sense to love somebody for your whole life, but it doesn't anymore.
Women are finding themselves in their 30s now.
Every magazine says it.
We hardly know what we're going to want in 15 years.
I mean, Finn and I-- we can grow together.
Look, Rachel you and Finn are a lovely couple.
But if you really want to be happy, you're going to have to say good-bye.
("Never Can Say Good-bye" playing) Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh Never can say good-bye Say good-bye No, no, no, no, now Never can say good-bye Say good-bye Even though the pain and heartache Seems to follow me wherever I go Though I try and try to hide my feelings They always seem to show Then you try to say you're leaving me And I always have to say no Tell me why Tell me why Is it so? Is it so? Don't wanna let you go I never can say good-bye, boy Never can say good-bye, boy Ooh, baby Don't wanna let you go, boy I never can say good-bye No, no, no, no, no, no No, no, no Ooh Oh, I never can say good-bye, boy Never can say good-bye, boy Ooh, baby Don't wanna let you go, boy I never can say good-bye No, no, no, no, no, no No, no, no Ooh Never can say good-bye Say good-bye, boy I keep thinkin' that our problems Soon are all gonna work out But there's that same unhappy feeling And there's that anguish, there's that doubt It's the same old dizzy hang-up Can't do with you or without Tell me why Tell me why Is it so? Is it so? Don't wanna let you go I never can say good-bye, boy Never can say good-bye, boy Ooh, baby I never can say good-bye No, no, no, no, no, no No, no, no Ooh Oh, I never can say good-bye, boy Never can say good-bye, boy Ooh, baby I never can say good-bye No, no, no, no, no, no No, no, no Never, never, never, never, never, never, never I never can say good-bye, boy I got to have ya I never can say good-bye to you Oh yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah.
(applause and cheering) Wow, Quinn, that was incredible.
Even more incredible is her big news.
Tell them.
I got into Yale.
(laughs) Yale.
Whoo! It's just-- it-it's amazing.
After everything you've been through, you really deserve this, Quinn.
MERCEDES: We are so proud of you, Quinn.
I want to thank you guys because without each and every one of you, this would have never happened.
You supported me and loved me through all the drama, and that's why I'm standing here.
I wasted so much time hating myself for the stupid mistakes that I made, but the truth is, is that without all of those, I never would have dreamed this to be my future.
I was the only one standing in the way of myself.
You can't change your past but you can let go and start your future.
Yale, yeah.
(excited chatter) Yale! Oh, my God! (school bell ringing) Hey, what are you doing? Trying to keep the flames from shooting out of the side of my face.
Well, that outfit isn't helping.
I agree with Artie.
I'm tired of being stepped on all the time.
I take a lot of crap from a lot of people, but I refuse to take it from Sebastian the Criminal Chipmunk, so I've been sitting here for the last hour, making a list of ways to get back at him.
Well, today is your lucky day, because Auntie Snixx just arrived on the Bitchtown Express.
Now, my suggestion is that we drag him bound and gagged to a tattoo parlor for a tramp stamp that reads "Tips Appreciated" or "Congratulations, You're My 1,000th Customer!" After what he did to Blaine, I really wanted to hurt him.
But I can't.
I've fought against violence at this school for too long.
I, I have to take the high road.
You know what, Prancy Smurf? I respect that.
You're probably right.
I want to go to a college that isn't a FEMA trailer in a prison yard, so let's take the high road.
We're not going to beat Sebastian by playing dirty but we are going to beat him.
(school bell ringing) You know why I like this week's assignment so much? Hands down, without a doubt, one of my favorite singers of all time is Michael Jackson.
Listen, if I have to hawk my weave on eBay, I'm going to see the Immortal tour when it comes to Ohio.
Speaking of immortal Since we're gonna be seeing your name up in lights for the rest of our lives, I thought we might as well start today.
Sam Evans, you are crazy.
Crazy about you.
You know, we've never sang a duet together.
I thought we could do "Human Nature.
" Would you sing with me? After that you can go back to Shane; I won't stop you.
Sam, I can't.
Let's Let's talk later.
("Human Nature" begins) Looking out Across the nighttime The city winks a sleepless eye Hear his voice Shake my window Sweet seducing sighs Get me out Into the nighttime Four walls won't hold me tonight If this town Is just an apple Then let me take a bite If they say why, why? Tell 'em that it's human nature Why, why Does he do me that way? If they say Why, why? Just tell 'em that it's human nature Why, why? Does he do me that way Reaching out To touch a stranger Electric eyes are everywhere Ooh See that girl She knows I'm watching She likes the way I stare If they say Why? Why, why, why, why? Why? Tell 'em that it's human nature Why, oh, why Does he do me that way? If they say Why? Why, do-be-doop, why? Why? Tell 'em that it's human nature Why, why Does he do me that way? I like livin' this way I like lovin' this way Oh, why, oh, why? Oh, why, oh, why? Why, why? Tell 'em that it's human nature Why? (school bell ringing) So Will? (whispering) Kurt? Your dad wants to talk to you.
What's wrong? Is Blaine okay? He's fine.
The mail came.
NYADA.
(school bell ringing) Dude, come on.
This is like the fifth room we've been to.
What's wrong with the library or the lunchroom? None of those felt right.
This is it, Dad.
This is one of those crossroad moments in life.
I mean, whatever's in this envelope is going to determine whether I go right or left.
I'm here, no matter what it says.
Okay? (whispering) "Dear Mr.
Hummel" (sighs) What? What? I'm a finalist.
(laughs) Oh, Dad, Dad, your heart.
Oh, screw my heart! You did it! You did it, Kurt! Oh, man, oh! Who's gonna tell Blaine? You got to let me do it.
Dad, are you crying? You beat them all.
They threw everything at you.
They tried to beat you down.
But you know what? You're unstoppable, Kurt.
I am so proud to be your dad.
They can never take this away from you.
Right now, in this moment, on this day, you won.
(laughs) Oh, way to go, dude.
(school bell rings) KURT: Rachel! Rachel! I got it; I got my NYADA letter.
I got in the finals.
You did? I'm a finalist.
You did? That's so great.
Wh-What did yours say? I didn't get one.
Oh, that doesn't mean anything.
That just means they haven't sent it yet.
I didn't even make it to the finals.
(voice breaking): I knew it, I (sighs) I had this weird feeling in my stomach all week long.
Rachel, don't be stupid.
"Stupid"? Stupid is watching all of your friends make plans for their future and realizing that you have none at all.
No plans, no college, nowhere to go.
All I have here is my boyfriend, and And I have no idea what I'm doing.
(sighs) Come here.
(sobs) It's all right.
(school bell ringing) "Miss Jolier, a dramatic directorial debut," "she expects her second feature to have far more honey than blood.
" BLAINE: Hey.
Hey, guys.
We brought you, um, chicken noodle soup.
I know it's not used to typically help eye injuries, but we figured it couldn't hurt.
And I brought you a couple of eye-patch-featuring flicks from my collection.
I got, uh, Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, Valkyrie, and Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow.
Aw, thank you guys.
It's so amazing; It really means a lot to me that you'd come by to check up on me.
However, I cannot let a single moment pass without first raising a zero-calorie toast (can pops) to one Mr.
Kurt Hummel, aka NYADA finalist.
Yay.
Cheers.
So, Blaine, uh, when's the surgery? (sighs) This week.
Honestly, I'm terrified.
Don't sweat it, dude.
You'll heal up good as new.
Yeah, and there are tons of legendary performers who've only had one eye: Sammy Davis, Jr.
, Columbo.
And Stevie Wonder, he did pretty good with no eyes at all.
You guys, I'm really upset that I'm missing Michael Week.
It just totally sucks.
Well, that's why we figured we'd bring a little bit of Michael to you.
Yup.
Okay.
(pitch pipe hums) (intro to "Ben" plays) Ben, the two of us Need look no more We both found what we were looking for With a friend to call my own I'll never be alone And you, my friend will see You've got a friend in me You've got a friend in me Ben, you're always running here and there Here and there You feel you're not wanted anywhere Anywhere If you ever Look behind and don't like What you find There's something you should know You've got a place to go You've got a place to go Ben, most people would turn you away Turn you away I don't listen to a word they say A word they say They don't see you As I do I wish they would try to I'm sure they'd think again If they had a friend like Ben A friend Like Ben (footsteps) SANTANA: Hey, Andrew McCarthy.
Don't know if you heard, but Blaine may lose an eye.
The same Blaine who was just besties with most of you not four months ago.
Wait, are you serious? Is he gonna be okay? Well, sure, if he doesn't care about seeing in three dimensions.
Trent, I got this.
Bummer about Blaine, he was pretty.
He shouldn't have gotten in the way, though.
That slushee was meant for Kurt.
You may look like the villain out of a cheesy '80s high school movie, but you should know that I am fully prepared to go all Danny LaRusso on your ass.
Admit you put something in that slushee.
What was it, huh? Glass? Asphalt? Red dye number six.
You're a liar.
She questioned my honor.
I demand satisfaction in Warbler tradition.
You want to have a duel? Cello guys, can you hang back for a second? I'm gonna need you for this one.
SEBASTIAN: Everyone else clear out.
I don't want you to see me make a girl cry.
Let's just keep this on point.
("Smooth Criminal" begins) As he came in through the window, it was the sound Of a crescendo He came into her apartment He left bloodstains on the carpet She ran underneath the table He could see she was unable So she ran into the bedroom She was struck down, it was her doom Annie, are you okay? So, Annie, are you okay? Are you okay, Annie? Annie, are you okay? So, Annie, are you okay? Are you okay, Annie? Annie, are you okay? So, Annie, are you okay? Are you okay, Annie? Annie, are you okay? So, Annie, are you okay? Are you okay, Annie? Annie, are you okay? Would you tell us That you're okay? There's a sign in the window, that he struck you A crescendo, Annie He came into your apartment He left the bloodstains on the carpet And then you ran into the bedroom, you were struck down It was your doom Annie, are you okay? So, Annie, are you okay? Are you okay, Annie? Annie, are you okay? So, Annie, are you okay? Are you okay, Annie? Annie, are you okay? Are you okay, Annie? You've been hit by You've been struck by A smooth criminal I don't know Annie, are you okay? Would you tell us that you're okay? There's a sign in the window I don't know That he struck you, a crescendo, Annie He came into your apartment I don't know Left the bloodstains on the carpet I don't know why, baby Then you ran into the bedroom, you were struck down, it was your doom, Annie Dad gone it, baby Annie, are you okay? Would you tell us that you're okay? Dad gone it, baby There's a sign in the window Dad gone it, baby That he struck you, a crescendo, Annie Hoo, hoo He came into your apartment Left the blood stains on the carpet Then you ran into the bedroom, you were struck down Hoo, hoo It was your doom, Annie, you've been hit by You've been struck by A smooth criminal.
I was better.
You weren't even close.
I was better.
Now tell me the truth.
What did you put in that slushee? Rock salt but it's okay.
Why is it okay? I just told you that Blaine had to have surgery.
It's okay because I didn't put anything in this one.
(school bell rings) Before Mr.
Shue gets here, come on.
(laughter) Brittany, lock the door.
I don't know how to do that.
Um, what's going on? We've got the Warblers right where we want them.
And because he's the smoothest criminal I know, Artie was able to find a spy store that sells top-secret surveillance equipment.
Not top-secret.
I just got a tape recorder from OfficeMax.
Okay, okay, whatever.
In any case, I taped it to my underboob when we went to Dalton, and I got Sebastian on tape admitting that there was rock-salt in that slushee that blinded Blaine.
Now, all we have to do is send this tape to the po-po, and that little bitchlet is headed to juvie.
SANTANA: Admit it.
Tell me the truth.
What did you put in that slushee? SEBASTIAN: Rock salt.
No.
No, we're not doing that.
Why? Kurt, this isn't violent.
This is clever.
I taped it to my underboob.
So he gets kicked out of school.
The Warblers still do Michael, and they still beat us.
Look, I want to see Sebastian's head turning on a spit, but I've realized that you can't go looking for payback every time the world wrongs you.
If Michael went after all the haters, he would have never had any time to do all that amazing music.
So, we're not gonna punish the Warblers.
We're gonna teach them a lesson, and I think I know how.
I've reserved the auditorium, so if you all just follow me.
SANTANA: Oh, wait.
If Kurt would have taped this to his junk, I would have never heard the end of it.
We would have had a whole week of songs about it.
Rachel, can I borrow you for a second? Yeah.
So, are we gonna practice or something? Look, I know that you're waiting for an answer, and-and trust me, you deserve it No, no, I get it.
It's a big decision.
It's just, the way I asked you, I kind of left out the most important part.
About how much rent we would save if we went twosies? Just listen, okay? I always feel like you hear me better when I'm not talking.
("I Just Can't Stop Loving You" begins) Each time the wind blows I hear your voice so I call your name Whispers at morning Our love is dawning Heaven's glad you came You know how I feel This thing can't go wrong I'm so proud to say I love you Your love's got me high I long to get by This time is forever Love is the answer I hear your voice now You are my choice now The love you bring Heaven's in my heart At your call I hear harps And angels sing You know how I feel This thing can't go wrong I can't live my life without you I just can't hold on I feel we belong My life ain't worth living If I can't be with you I just can't stop loving you I just can't stop loving you And if I stop Then tell me just what will I do? I just can't stop loving you We can change all the world tomorrow We can sing songs of yesterday I can say, hey, farewell to sorrow This is my life and I Want to see you for always I just can't stop loving you Oh, baby, no I just can't stop loving you Yeah, I can't stop And if I stop No Tell me just what Will I do? What will I do? I just can't stop Loving you Hee, hee, hee Oh, little girl I just can't stop loving you Oh, I do And if I stop Then tell me just what will I do? I just can't stop loving you.
(song ends) Felt an awful lot like a You're the love of my life.
And I may not get to have it all, but at least I'll have what matters if we're together.
Is that a? Yes.
Yes? Yes, I will marry you.
Got to get the ring here.
(school bell rings) Nice of you to show.
Is whatever this is gonna take long? I can't stand the stench of public schools.
It won't take long, and all you have to do is sit and listen.
We're not doing Michael for Regionals.
I didn't think you'd surrender that easily.
We're tired of the fighting and the backstabbing.
We're show choirs.
We're supposed to be supportive of each other.
This is what we call taking the high road, which I was shocked to find out has nothing to do with marijuana.
ARTIE: Just because you're doing Michael doesn't mean you understand Michael.
And you do? Yes.
And we're about to show you.
("Black or White" begins) Oh! I took my baby on a Saturday date But is that girl with you? Yes, we're one in the same Now I believe in miracles And a miracle has happened tonight Hey! Uh, but if you're thinking about my baby It don't matter if you're black or white Hee Hee, hee I am tired of this devil I am tired of this stuff I am tired of this business So when the going gets rough I ain't scared of your brother I ain't scared of no sheets I ain't scared of nobody Girl, when the goin' gets mean Protection for gangs, clubs and nations causing grief In human relations, it's a turf war On a global scale I'd rather hear both sides of the tale See, it's not about races, just places, faces Where your blood comes from is where your space is I've seen the bright get duller I'm not gonna spend my life being a color Don't tell me you agree with me When I saw you kicking dirt in my eye But if you're thinking about my baby It don't matter if you're black or white I said, if you're thinking of being my brother It don't matter if you're black or white Yeah, yeah Whoo! Black or white It's black, it's white It's tough for you to get by Black or white Yeah, yeah It's black, it's white Whoo! It's tough for you to get by Yeah, yeah It's black, it's white Whoo! It's tough for you to get by Black or r white It's black, it's white It's tough for you to get by Black or white It's black, it's white, whoo! (song ends, applause) Very moving.
Come on, Sebastian.
Give it up.
That is the kind of attitude that lost us Regionals last year.
I could call the cops or your headmaster and get you kicked out of school or even arrested for assaulting Blaine with that slushee.
All of this would be just awfully terrifying if you had any proof whatsoever.
You mean like you on tape admitting to it? (gasps) But you know what? It just wouldn't be as much fun winning Regionals if you weren't there to suffer through all the agony of defeat.
SANTANA: At least now, all your teammates get to know exactly what kind of guy you are.
ARTIE: Now get the hell out of my auditorium.
School's out! (school bell ringing) (crowd chatter) Is Is-Is that the? My NYADA letter finally came in the mail, and, uh and I'm a finalist.
I'm a finalist! I'm a finalist! (laughing) I'm so happy.
Oh, congrats.
Thank you.
Oh, have you told Finn yet?
And we did Michael Jackson.
You guys didn't.
That was weeks ago.
Why are you still obssessing? - One word, Curt.
Michael.
- Guys, fear not.
The world tour of the Cirque du Soleil tribute show, Immortal, to Michael Jackson is coming to Columbus in June.
We should all go.
You don't get it.
I don't want to see the spectacle that is Michael.
I want to be the spectacle.
- Everything okay? - Look, we love being back in New Direction, but - We hate that we missed our chance this year to do Michael.
- Yeah, I get it.
And I've been thinking a lot about Regionals and maybe we can do Michael again.
I for one know exactly what song we should start Michael with.
Okay, it's been exactly 3 days to the minute since I proposed to you which is the amount of time you said you needed before you'd give me an answer.
Look, this isn't the kind of decision you can make on a deadline.
Look, I understand, you said you needed some time, but not hearing a decision's kind of bumming me out.
No.
Look I love you, okay? And I want to marry you someday, and I, really, I'm open to anything.
This is all just happening so fast, and I don't understand it.
I mean, I I need you to help me understand.
Okay, well, even if you don't get into NYADA, you're still gonna go to New York.
Yes, and I want you to come with me.
And I will, but we're crazy if we think that it's gonna be easier to be a couple there than it is here.
My point is that those rings are-are will always be a reminder of exactly how we feel right now.
They're gonna let us take a piece of our little world into the big city.
Look, that's really romantic, but I have to be honest-- this all just sounds really crazy to me, okay? I don't need to marry you to keep from straying-- you're the only guy for me.
Okay, I guess my answer for now is No, no, don't don't say anything.
You're right, we shouldn't make this kind of a decision on a deadline.
Just, uh take a couple more days, okay? (piano playing "I Just Can't Stop Loving You") (bell rings) Okay, favorite Michael Jackson memory.
Go.
When I was one, my mom showed me the VHS tape of his Motown special, and when he did the moonwalk across the stage for the first time in history, I uttered my first words: "Hot damn.
" I owe the King of Pop a deep debt of gratitude.
He was the first one to pull off the sequined military jacket, long before one Kurt Hummel made it iconic.
I have to be honest-- I never really got him.
And we are no longer on speaking terms.
No, I think he's an amazing performer, but I've never really just got what he was about.
Rachel, he was best friends with Liza Minnelli and Liz Taylor.
No, all I'm saying is that I-I just I haven't connected with him the way that I have with the likes of Barbra or either of the Stephens.
Sondheim.
Schwartz.
I'd throw this mocha in your face, but it's not nearly scalding enough.
Okay, but just, since you guys are so jazzed about him, I think it's a good idea.
Well, that might not be the best idea.
Hey, Blaine.
Hello, everyone else.
Does he live here or something? Seriously, you are always here.
Why don't you think that's a good idea? Because we're doing MJ for Regionals.
You see, Warblers drew first position, so as soon as I heard what your plan was, I changed our set list accordingly.
I'm sorry, how how did you hear? Uh, Blaine told me this morning.
I just called for a tip on how to get red wine out of my blazer piping, and he would not stop going on about it.
I may have mentioned it.
How often do you talk? Oh, my God, hey, Kurt.
I didn't recognize you.
You are wearing boy clothes for once.
All right, twink, I think it's time that I show you a little Lima Heights hospitality.
Unless you want to join your relatives in prison, that's probably not the best idea.
You see, my dad is sort of what you'd call a state's attorney.
But if you had a piñata you wanted delivered, I bet he could make sure that got to them.
All right, so here's what you guys should know.
I am captain of the Warblers now, and I'm tired of playing nice.
There has to be some kind of show choir competition committee we can complain to.
I know it sucks, guys, but it's not the end of the world.
Heck, you had your set list stolen the day of the competition at Sectionals, and you pulled that one off, right? Well, they can have our Journey and our Dreamgirls, but pilfering my Michael, mm-mm, that's another level, not okay.
I'm not exactly comfortable having this conversation with Blaine in the room.
Clearly, once a Warbler, always a Warbler.
Uh, wh-what? Dude, you told them what we were gonna do.
You're like a modern-day Eggs Benedict.
He's on notice as far as I'm concerned.
FINN: We should all be on notice.
I mean, next to Vocal Adrenaline, the Warblers are the best Glee Club in the state, and for a lot of us, this is our last shot at a championship, so we should stop complaining about the Warblers and figure out how to beat them.
I couldn't have said it better myself, Finn.
I'm less worried about our set list right now and more interested in getting us in the right mindset to crush those guys.
Which is why our lesson for the week is What Would Michael Jackson Do? He'd fight back.
He'd say Regionals is ours, MJ is ours, and if they want it, they can pry it from o sequin-gloved hand.
Mm-hmm.
Straight up.
In 1983, MTV said they wouldn't air his "Billie Jean" video.
What'd he do? He fought back.
They aired it, and the Thriller album sold an additional ten million copies.
That's right.
I know what Michael would do.
I think he would take it to the streets.
(intro to "Billie Jean" plays) Well we're here.
We got something to settle.
Both of us want to use MJ, but only one can.
We're having a Jackson-off, Nick at Nite.
Winner gets the King of Pop for Regionals.
What, us against the two of you? You really think you're that bad? Is that what they teach you at that little public school of yours? It's time to see who's bad.
(snaps fingers) ("Billie Jean" fades into intro to "Bad") Ba, ba, ba, ba Dow, dow, dow, dow-dow Dow, dow, dow, dow-dow Dow, dow, dow, dow-dow Dow, dow, dow Your butt is mine Gonna take you right Just show your face In broad daylight I'm telling you On how I feel Gonna hurt your mind Don't shoot to kill Come on Come on, lay it on me All right Dow, dow, dow, dow-dow Dow, dow, dow, dow-dow Your lyin' eyes Gonna take you right So listen up Don't make a fight Your talk is cheap You're not a man You're throwing stones To hide your hands Well, they say the sky's the limit And to me that's really true But, my friends, you have seen nothing Just wait till I get through, because I'm bad Bad, bad I'm bad Really, really bad Come on You know I'm bad, I'm bad Bad, bad Really, really bad You know it You know I'm bad Bad, bad Really, really bad Come on, you know And the whole world has to answer right now Just to tell you once again, who's bad! Dow, dow, dow, dow-dow Dow, dow, dow Dow-dow, dow, dow, dow Oh, oh, oh-oh, oh Oh, oh-oh-oh, oh Oh, oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Oh Oh Yeah! 'Cause I'm bad, I'm bad Bad, really, really bad Come on You know I'm bad, I'm bad Bad, bad Really, really bad You know it, you know And the whole world has to answer right now Just to tell you once again You know I'm bad, I'm bad Bad, bad You know it Really, really bad And the whole world has to answer right now Just to tell you once again, who's bad! (song stops) (gasping, shouting) (Blaine yelling) Oh, my God! (Blaine yelling, groaning) (bell rings) How is he? Is he okay? Uh, it's his right eye.
Uh, the doctor says that his cornea is deeply scratched and he has to have surgery.
In all my years as a teacher and a student, I have never known a slushee to do that kind of damage.
That's 'cause it wasn't a normal slushee, Mr.
Shue.
There was stuff in it, rocks or something.
He wanted to do that damage.
Well, unless you have proof that he tampered with the slushee the police aren't interested in getting involved.
Sebastian is evil.
He needs to be expelled.
Look, Figgins and I spoke to Dalton's headmaster.
They're opening up an investigation.
So, guys, I'm telling you, please let the system handle this one.
No.
Dalton's old-school, Mr.
Shue-- they're not gonna turn their backs on one of their own-- we need payback.
An eye for an eye.
No.
I have a zero-tolerance policy for violence, of any kind.
That's not how we do things.
No, we sing, and that's all we ever do.
Do you want to get disqualified from Regionals? I don't give a damn about Regionals.
What do you expect from us? We're people.
I know the rest of the world may not see us like that, but when they tease us and throw stuff at us and toss us in Dumpsters and tell us that we're nothing but losers with stupid dreams, it freaking hurts.
And we're supposed to turn the other cheek and be the bigger man by telling ourselves that those dreams and how hard we work make us better than them, but it gets pretty damn hard to feel that way when they always get to win.
I get how upsetting this is for you.
No, you don't, and don't give me any of that "it gets better" crap because I'm not interested in it getting any better.
I want it to be better, like, right now.
I want to hurt them the way they hurt us.
No, worse.
I want them to feel my pain because frankly that's all I have left to give.
Artie, take a break.
We'll be here when you get back.
("Scream" begins) Who's with me? (screams) Hee (siren wailing) Hee I'm tired of injustice I'm tired of the schemes It's kind of disgusting So what does it mean, Daddy? You're kickin' me down, I got to get up As jacked as it sounds, the whole system sucks, Daddy Hoo-hoo I peek in the shadow Hoo-hoo I come into the light Hoo-hoo But you tell me I'm wrong Hee-hee Then you better prove you're right You're sellin' out souls, but I care about mine I've got to get stronger and I won't give up the fight With such confusion don't it make you wanna scream? Make you wanna scream Your bash abusin' victimizin' with the scheme You try to cope with every lie they scrutinize Somebody please have mercy 'Cause I just can't take it Stop pressurin' me, just stop pressurin' me Just stop pressurin' me Make me wanna scream Just stop pressurin' me, just stop pressurin' me Just stop pressurin' me You make me wanna scream (overlapping voices) Oh, my God, can't believe what I saw as I turned on the TV This evening I was disgusted by all the injustice (echoing): All the injustice (Artie screams) Yeah, yeah Baby Whoo (Artie screams) Stop pressurin' me Stop your pressure Just stop pressurin' me Stop your pressure Just stop pressurin' me You know you really make me wanna You make me wanna scream Just stop pressurin' me Hee-hee Just stop pressurin' me Stop your pressure Yeah, yeah You make me wanna scream Baby Stop pressurin' me Got to do it Just stop pressurin' me Stop your pressure Just stop pressurin' me You make me wanna scream.
Artie? Artie.
I think I better roll away.
(school bell ringing) Hey.
Look, I need your advice, all right, about, about an adult problem.
Holy crap, are you pregnant? No.
Look, I'm, I'm coming to you as a friend and, oddly, because I also think that you're the only person that'll give me just a, a straightforward and a thoughtful answer about this.
You're right, I'm sorry.
Yes, I can keep a secret.
Okay well, um Finn asked me to marry him.
(gasps) What did you say? I said I-I needed to think about it.
Well, you can't.
Why? I mean, plenty of people get married at our age, and, I mean, I know that he and I haven't lived together or anything, but, you know, I love him and he's the one, I know it.
What's this? My ticket out of here.
I got into Yale, early admissions.
Turns out my essay about overcoming adversity while maintaining a straight-A average during a teen pregnancy really turned on the admissions boards.
Quinn, that's amazing.
That's so great.
That's great.
I'm sure you'll get your NYADA one soon.
Oh, yeah, I mean, New York mail is notoriously slow, so it's My point being is that I've dated Finn, Puck, Sam.
Even thought I loved some of them, but by the time the snow falls in New Haven next winter, I won't know why.
So are, are you saying that Finn and I should break up? I'm all for making the most of the next few months, but I'd hate the idea o-of dragging an anchor from my past into the bright lights of my future.
Rachel, you have an amazing life ahead of you.
As hard as it may be, if you want everything that you've ever dreamed of, you're going to have to break up with him.
That's an awful thing to say.
Look, you wanted straight and thoughtful.
I guess at one point it made sense to love somebody for your whole life, but it doesn't anymore.
Women are finding themselves in their 30s now.
Every magazine says it.
We hardly know what we're going to want in 15 years.
I mean, Finn and I-- we can grow together.
Look, Rachel you and Finn are a lovely couple.
But if you really want to be happy, you're going to have to say good-bye.
("Never Can Say Good-bye" playing) Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh Never can say good-bye Say good-bye No, no, no, no, now Never can say good-bye Say good-bye Even though the pain and heartache Seems to follow me wherever I go Though I try and try to hide my feelings They always seem to show Then you try to say you're leaving me And I always have to say no Tell me why Tell me why Is it so? Is it so? Don't wanna let you go I never can say good-bye, boy Never can say good-bye, boy Ooh, baby Don't wanna let you go, boy I never can say good-bye No, no, no, no, no, no No, no, no Ooh Oh, I never can say good-bye, boy Never can say good-bye, boy Ooh, baby Don't wanna let you go, boy I never can say good-bye No, no, no, no, no, no No, no, no Ooh Never can say good-bye Say good-bye, boy I keep thinkin' that our problems Soon are all gonna work out But there's that same unhappy feeling And there's that anguish, there's that doubt It's the same old dizzy hang-up Can't do with you or without Tell me why Tell me why Is it so? Is it so? Don't wanna let you go I never can say good-bye, boy Never can say good-bye, boy Ooh, baby I never can say good-bye No, no, no, no, no, no No, no, no Ooh Oh, I never can say good-bye, boy Never can say good-bye, boy Ooh, baby I never can say good-bye No, no, no, no, no, no No, no, no Never, never, never, never, never, never, never I never can say good-bye, boy I got to have ya I never can say good-bye to you Oh yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah.
(applause and cheering) Wow, Quinn, that was incredible.
Even more incredible is her big news.
Tell them.
I got into Yale.
(laughs) Yale.
Whoo! It's just-- it-it's amazing.
After everything you've been through, you really deserve this, Quinn.
MERCEDES: We are so proud of you, Quinn.
I want to thank you guys because without each and every one of you, this would have never happened.
You supported me and loved me through all the drama, and that's why I'm standing here.
I wasted so much time hating myself for the stupid mistakes that I made, but the truth is, is that without all of those, I never would have dreamed this to be my future.
I was the only one standing in the way of myself.
You can't change your past but you can let go and start your future.
Yale, yeah.
(excited chatter) Yale! Oh, my God! (school bell ringing) Hey, what are you doing? Trying to keep the flames from shooting out of the side of my face.
Well, that outfit isn't helping.
I agree with Artie.
I'm tired of being stepped on all the time.
I take a lot of crap from a lot of people, but I refuse to take it from Sebastian the Criminal Chipmunk, so I've been sitting here for the last hour, making a list of ways to get back at him.
Well, today is your lucky day, because Auntie Snixx just arrived on the Bitchtown Express.
Now, my suggestion is that we drag him bound and gagged to a tattoo parlor for a tramp stamp that reads "Tips Appreciated" or "Congratulations, You're My 1,000th Customer!" After what he did to Blaine, I really wanted to hurt him.
But I can't.
I've fought against violence at this school for too long.
I, I have to take the high road.
You know what, Prancy Smurf? I respect that.
You're probably right.
I want to go to a college that isn't a FEMA trailer in a prison yard, so let's take the high road.
We're not going to beat Sebastian by playing dirty but we are going to beat him.
(school bell ringing) You know why I like this week's assignment so much? Hands down, without a doubt, one of my favorite singers of all time is Michael Jackson.
Listen, if I have to hawk my weave on eBay, I'm going to see the Immortal tour when it comes to Ohio.
Speaking of immortal Since we're gonna be seeing your name up in lights for the rest of our lives, I thought we might as well start today.
Sam Evans, you are crazy.
Crazy about you.
You know, we've never sang a duet together.
I thought we could do "Human Nature.
" Would you sing with me? After that you can go back to Shane; I won't stop you.
Sam, I can't.
Let's Let's talk later.
("Human Nature" begins) Looking out Across the nighttime The city winks a sleepless eye Hear his voice Shake my window Sweet seducing sighs Get me out Into the nighttime Four walls won't hold me tonight If this town Is just an apple Then let me take a bite If they say why, why? Tell 'em that it's human nature Why, why Does he do me that way? If they say Why, why? Just tell 'em that it's human nature Why, why? Does he do me that way Reaching out To touch a stranger Electric eyes are everywhere Ooh See that girl She knows I'm watching She likes the way I stare If they say Why? Why, why, why, why? Why? Tell 'em that it's human nature Why, oh, why Does he do me that way? If they say Why? Why, do-be-doop, why? Why? Tell 'em that it's human nature Why, why Does he do me that way? I like livin' this way I like lovin' this way Oh, why, oh, why? Oh, why, oh, why? Why, why? Tell 'em that it's human nature Why? (school bell ringing) So Will? (whispering) Kurt? Your dad wants to talk to you.
What's wrong? Is Blaine okay? He's fine.
The mail came.
NYADA.
(school bell ringing) Dude, come on.
This is like the fifth room we've been to.
What's wrong with the library or the lunchroom? None of those felt right.
This is it, Dad.
This is one of those crossroad moments in life.
I mean, whatever's in this envelope is going to determine whether I go right or left.
I'm here, no matter what it says.
Okay? (whispering) "Dear Mr.
Hummel" (sighs) What? What? I'm a finalist.
(laughs) Oh, Dad, Dad, your heart.
Oh, screw my heart! You did it! You did it, Kurt! Oh, man, oh! Who's gonna tell Blaine? You got to let me do it.
Dad, are you crying? You beat them all.
They threw everything at you.
They tried to beat you down.
But you know what? You're unstoppable, Kurt.
I am so proud to be your dad.
They can never take this away from you.
Right now, in this moment, on this day, you won.
(laughs) Oh, way to go, dude.
(school bell rings) KURT: Rachel! Rachel! I got it; I got my NYADA letter.
I got in the finals.
You did? I'm a finalist.
You did? That's so great.
Wh-What did yours say? I didn't get one.
Oh, that doesn't mean anything.
That just means they haven't sent it yet.
I didn't even make it to the finals.
(voice breaking): I knew it, I (sighs) I had this weird feeling in my stomach all week long.
Rachel, don't be stupid.
"Stupid"? Stupid is watching all of your friends make plans for their future and realizing that you have none at all.
No plans, no college, nowhere to go.
All I have here is my boyfriend, and And I have no idea what I'm doing.
(sighs) Come here.
(sobs) It's all right.
(school bell ringing) "Miss Jolier, a dramatic directorial debut," "she expects her second feature to have far more honey than blood.
" BLAINE: Hey.
Hey, guys.
We brought you, um, chicken noodle soup.
I know it's not used to typically help eye injuries, but we figured it couldn't hurt.
And I brought you a couple of eye-patch-featuring flicks from my collection.
I got, uh, Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, Valkyrie, and Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow.
Aw, thank you guys.
It's so amazing; It really means a lot to me that you'd come by to check up on me.
However, I cannot let a single moment pass without first raising a zero-calorie toast (can pops) to one Mr.
Kurt Hummel, aka NYADA finalist.
Yay.
Cheers.
So, Blaine, uh, when's the surgery? (sighs) This week.
Honestly, I'm terrified.
Don't sweat it, dude.
You'll heal up good as new.
Yeah, and there are tons of legendary performers who've only had one eye: Sammy Davis, Jr.
, Columbo.
And Stevie Wonder, he did pretty good with no eyes at all.
You guys, I'm really upset that I'm missing Michael Week.
It just totally sucks.
Well, that's why we figured we'd bring a little bit of Michael to you.
Yup.
Okay.
(pitch pipe hums) (intro to "Ben" plays) Ben, the two of us Need look no more We both found what we were looking for With a friend to call my own I'll never be alone And you, my friend will see You've got a friend in me You've got a friend in me Ben, you're always running here and there Here and there You feel you're not wanted anywhere Anywhere If you ever Look behind and don't like What you find There's something you should know You've got a place to go You've got a place to go Ben, most people would turn you away Turn you away I don't listen to a word they say A word they say They don't see you As I do I wish they would try to I'm sure they'd think again If they had a friend like Ben A friend Like Ben (footsteps) SANTANA: Hey, Andrew McCarthy.
Don't know if you heard, but Blaine may lose an eye.
The same Blaine who was just besties with most of you not four months ago.
Wait, are you serious? Is he gonna be okay? Well, sure, if he doesn't care about seeing in three dimensions.
Trent, I got this.
Bummer about Blaine, he was pretty.
He shouldn't have gotten in the way, though.
That slushee was meant for Kurt.
You may look like the villain out of a cheesy '80s high school movie, but you should know that I am fully prepared to go all Danny LaRusso on your ass.
Admit you put something in that slushee.
What was it, huh? Glass? Asphalt? Red dye number six.
You're a liar.
She questioned my honor.
I demand satisfaction in Warbler tradition.
You want to have a duel? Cello guys, can you hang back for a second? I'm gonna need you for this one.
SEBASTIAN: Everyone else clear out.
I don't want you to see me make a girl cry.
Let's just keep this on point.
("Smooth Criminal" begins) As he came in through the window, it was the sound Of a crescendo He came into her apartment He left bloodstains on the carpet She ran underneath the table He could see she was unable So she ran into the bedroom She was struck down, it was her doom Annie, are you okay? So, Annie, are you okay? Are you okay, Annie? Annie, are you okay? So, Annie, are you okay? Are you okay, Annie? Annie, are you okay? So, Annie, are you okay? Are you okay, Annie? Annie, are you okay? So, Annie, are you okay? Are you okay, Annie? Annie, are you okay? Would you tell us That you're okay? There's a sign in the window, that he struck you A crescendo, Annie He came into your apartment He left the bloodstains on the carpet And then you ran into the bedroom, you were struck down It was your doom Annie, are you okay? So, Annie, are you okay? Are you okay, Annie? Annie, are you okay? So, Annie, are you okay? Are you okay, Annie? Annie, are you okay? Are you okay, Annie? You've been hit by You've been struck by A smooth criminal I don't know Annie, are you okay? Would you tell us that you're okay? There's a sign in the window I don't know That he struck you, a crescendo, Annie He came into your apartment I don't know Left the bloodstains on the carpet I don't know why, baby Then you ran into the bedroom, you were struck down, it was your doom, Annie Dad gone it, baby Annie, are you okay? Would you tell us that you're okay? Dad gone it, baby There's a sign in the window Dad gone it, baby That he struck you, a crescendo, Annie Hoo, hoo He came into your apartment Left the blood stains on the carpet Then you ran into the bedroom, you were struck down Hoo, hoo It was your doom, Annie, you've been hit by You've been struck by A smooth criminal.
I was better.
You weren't even close.
I was better.
Now tell me the truth.
What did you put in that slushee? Rock salt but it's okay.
Why is it okay? I just told you that Blaine had to have surgery.
It's okay because I didn't put anything in this one.
(school bell rings) Before Mr.
Shue gets here, come on.
(laughter) Brittany, lock the door.
I don't know how to do that.
Um, what's going on? We've got the Warblers right where we want them.
And because he's the smoothest criminal I know, Artie was able to find a spy store that sells top-secret surveillance equipment.
Not top-secret.
I just got a tape recorder from OfficeMax.
Okay, okay, whatever.
In any case, I taped it to my underboob when we went to Dalton, and I got Sebastian on tape admitting that there was rock-salt in that slushee that blinded Blaine.
Now, all we have to do is send this tape to the po-po, and that little bitchlet is headed to juvie.
SANTANA: Admit it.
Tell me the truth.
What did you put in that slushee? SEBASTIAN: Rock salt.
No.
No, we're not doing that.
Why? Kurt, this isn't violent.
This is clever.
I taped it to my underboob.
So he gets kicked out of school.
The Warblers still do Michael, and they still beat us.
Look, I want to see Sebastian's head turning on a spit, but I've realized that you can't go looking for payback every time the world wrongs you.
If Michael went after all the haters, he would have never had any time to do all that amazing music.
So, we're not gonna punish the Warblers.
We're gonna teach them a lesson, and I think I know how.
I've reserved the auditorium, so if you all just follow me.
SANTANA: Oh, wait.
If Kurt would have taped this to his junk, I would have never heard the end of it.
We would have had a whole week of songs about it.
Rachel, can I borrow you for a second? Yeah.
So, are we gonna practice or something? Look, I know that you're waiting for an answer, and-and trust me, you deserve it No, no, I get it.
It's a big decision.
It's just, the way I asked you, I kind of left out the most important part.
About how much rent we would save if we went twosies? Just listen, okay? I always feel like you hear me better when I'm not talking.
("I Just Can't Stop Loving You" begins) Each time the wind blows I hear your voice so I call your name Whispers at morning Our love is dawning Heaven's glad you came You know how I feel This thing can't go wrong I'm so proud to say I love you Your love's got me high I long to get by This time is forever Love is the answer I hear your voice now You are my choice now The love you bring Heaven's in my heart At your call I hear harps And angels sing You know how I feel This thing can't go wrong I can't live my life without you I just can't hold on I feel we belong My life ain't worth living If I can't be with you I just can't stop loving you I just can't stop loving you And if I stop Then tell me just what will I do? I just can't stop loving you We can change all the world tomorrow We can sing songs of yesterday I can say, hey, farewell to sorrow This is my life and I Want to see you for always I just can't stop loving you Oh, baby, no I just can't stop loving you Yeah, I can't stop And if I stop No Tell me just what Will I do? What will I do? I just can't stop Loving you Hee, hee, hee Oh, little girl I just can't stop loving you Oh, I do And if I stop Then tell me just what will I do? I just can't stop loving you.
(song ends) Felt an awful lot like a You're the love of my life.
And I may not get to have it all, but at least I'll have what matters if we're together.
Is that a? Yes.
Yes? Yes, I will marry you.
Got to get the ring here.
(school bell rings) Nice of you to show.
Is whatever this is gonna take long? I can't stand the stench of public schools.
It won't take long, and all you have to do is sit and listen.
We're not doing Michael for Regionals.
I didn't think you'd surrender that easily.
We're tired of the fighting and the backstabbing.
We're show choirs.
We're supposed to be supportive of each other.
This is what we call taking the high road, which I was shocked to find out has nothing to do with marijuana.
ARTIE: Just because you're doing Michael doesn't mean you understand Michael.
And you do? Yes.
And we're about to show you.
("Black or White" begins) Oh! I took my baby on a Saturday date But is that girl with you? Yes, we're one in the same Now I believe in miracles And a miracle has happened tonight Hey! Uh, but if you're thinking about my baby It don't matter if you're black or white Hee Hee, hee I am tired of this devil I am tired of this stuff I am tired of this business So when the going gets rough I ain't scared of your brother I ain't scared of no sheets I ain't scared of nobody Girl, when the goin' gets mean Protection for gangs, clubs and nations causing grief In human relations, it's a turf war On a global scale I'd rather hear both sides of the tale See, it's not about races, just places, faces Where your blood comes from is where your space is I've seen the bright get duller I'm not gonna spend my life being a color Don't tell me you agree with me When I saw you kicking dirt in my eye But if you're thinking about my baby It don't matter if you're black or white I said, if you're thinking of being my brother It don't matter if you're black or white Yeah, yeah Whoo! Black or white It's black, it's white It's tough for you to get by Black or white Yeah, yeah It's black, it's white Whoo! It's tough for you to get by Yeah, yeah It's black, it's white Whoo! It's tough for you to get by Black or r white It's black, it's white It's tough for you to get by Black or white It's black, it's white, whoo! (song ends, applause) Very moving.
Come on, Sebastian.
Give it up.
That is the kind of attitude that lost us Regionals last year.
I could call the cops or your headmaster and get you kicked out of school or even arrested for assaulting Blaine with that slushee.
All of this would be just awfully terrifying if you had any proof whatsoever.
You mean like you on tape admitting to it? (gasps) But you know what? It just wouldn't be as much fun winning Regionals if you weren't there to suffer through all the agony of defeat.
SANTANA: At least now, all your teammates get to know exactly what kind of guy you are.
ARTIE: Now get the hell out of my auditorium.
School's out! (school bell ringing) (crowd chatter) Is Is-Is that the? My NYADA letter finally came in the mail, and, uh and I'm a finalist.
I'm a finalist! I'm a finalist! (laughing) I'm so happy.
Oh, congrats.
Thank you.
Oh, have you told Finn yet?