The Bionic Woman (1976) s03e11 Episode Script

1
OSCAR: Slotsky's team stole the
cypher chip from our International Code.
He's probably the best agent we
ever had and a master of disguise.
(WOMAN SCREAMS)
WOMAN: Help!
WOMAN: Is it a machine gun?
What are you doing to me?
This guy's a nut.
Stop that girl. Stop that girl.
She's stealing my creation!
You build an instinct
in this business.
Gotcha!
Without your glasses you couldn't tell
Slotsky from the rear end of an elephant.
MAN: There are two 08! agents
in the hotel,
Make arrangements
to kill them both.
Manning.
Oscar.
So?
I don't believe that guy. He's up
to eight miles and going strong.
MANNING: Oscar, are you
sure he's 68 years old?
If that's Terry Quinn,
he'll be 69 in March.
(SIGHS) I followed him
from his apartment.
It must be the right guy.
OSCAR: That's Terrence Quinn
all right.
Young at heart.
Still trying.
Almost gives you hope.
Well, I guess he is a has-been,
but he really was something.
He had charm, he had style,
he had grace.
He was really beautiful.
He's probably the best agent we
ever had and a master of disguise.
Turned Europe upside down in
the early days of the Cold War.
MANNING: Are we busting
the old guy for something?
OSCAR: No, no. I need him.
(CAR ENGINE STARTS)
Badly.
I'm gonna ask him for
his help. Okay. Catch up.
Hello, Terrence.
Oscar. Oscar Goldman.
You mind if we stop
for a minute?
Of course I mind!
Now get outta here before I
kill you. I wanna talk to you.
I mean it. Beat it!
Terrence, I couldn't
keep you on any longer.
You'd passed the mandatory retirement
age. It happens to all of us someday.
Why?
I was no run-of-the-mill agent.
I never made a mistake
on a mission in 30 years,
and I feel I deserve
a little more gratitude
than winding up in a crummy
apartment with a six-year-old car.
Nice seeing you, Oscar.
Terrence,
do you remember Boris Slotsky?
Course I remember him.
Still carrying two Luger slugs
he put in me in Amsterdam.
And on cold days my arm can feel
the pain of that letter bomb of his.
(CHUCKLES)
They bury him in Sicily or
they take him back home again?
Neither, he's still alive.
I knew the sights
on that pistol were too high.
But I saw the car crash
in that ravine and explode.
He was probably thrown clear
as it fell down.
I have reason to believe that Slotsky
is in this country. In fact, I know he is.
Slotsky still alive!
What's he doing?
Same as he's always done,
he's an espionage contact man.
You mean he's still working?
Well, that sure shows you the Russians
know how to take care of their people.
I should've defected years ago.
I'm trying to get
your old job back, pal.
You're the only one that
could identify Slotsky's face.
My old job at my old salary?
The job won't take too long.
Two days ago, Slotsky's team stole the
cipher chip from our International Code.
With it he can decode every message that
we've transmitted in the last six months,
including the identification of
some of our top secret agents.
I see.
We have reason to believe
that Slotsky is meeting a Russian
courier at the Hotel Terranova.
He will give him the chip there.
Your job will be
to identify Slotsky,
recover the chip before the
courier leaves for Moscow.
Nice talking to you, Oscar.
I'll see you.
Wait a minute.
Do you realize the lives of at least 20
secret agents depend upon you, Terrence?
(SCOFFS) Look around.
This is the future I'm saving them
from. I'm being kinder than you know.
All right. What do you want?
I'll get your cipher
back for you,
and I'll also get Slotsky. I'll
enjoy that. I really owe him.
My price is a 10-year
contract at full salary.
You know I can't clear that.
Those 20 agents are gonna
be sorry to hear that.
All right.
But I have one condition.
You'll be working with one of
our agents, Jaime Sommers.
Your job will be to identify
Slotsky and let her do the rest.
Think I'm too old
to work alone, huh?
That's the deal, pal.
A girl, huh? Okay.
Send her on to my place.
Give her this so I'll know her.
And put our deal in writing.
(ENGINE STARTS)
Hi.
(DOORBELL RINGS)
Excuse me, miss. I
I left my key inside.
My husband's in there, but could
you help me with the be”, please?
Oh, sure.
I do the same thing
all the time,
except I don't have a husband
at home to answer the bell.
Sometimes I even have to crawl
up through the window to get
(JAIME MOANS)
QUINN: Same ring, all right.
Must be her.
Hmm.
Awake, huh?
I've always preferred
chloroform.
Simple, easy to come by,
has minimal aftereffects.
An attractive woman like you
should understand that.
(IN OLD WOMAN'S VOICE) A woman,
living alone, even in a good neighborhood,
never knows who
may come calling.
What are you doing?
What
What are you (SIGHS)
What is this?
How do you do?
Quinn's the name.
I'm just trying to make a
point simply and effectively.
Goldman tried
to force you on me,
but I've got 10 years
of good living
riding on my bringing back
Slotsky and that cipher chip.
That make it clear?
Not in the slightest.
I don't need you, kitten.
I can't afford to have an amateur
tagging along and lousing things up.
What
Now, you'll be
relatively comfortable,
and I'll get back
as soon as I can. Right?
Wrong!
You'll change your mind
after awhile.
Well, I've gotta get out
of this and get going.
(BIONIC POWERS ACTIVATING)
Oscar, come in.
This is Jaime.
Oscar Goldman, do you read me?
Yes, Jaime?
What are you doing to me?
This guy's a nut!
Oh, so you two aren't
hitting it off, eh? Hitting it off?
Well, so far he has
chloroformed me,
he's tied me up and he
doesn't even know my name yet.
Well, Terrence does
have his ways.
Give him another chance,
will you, babe?
You know how important it is.
Against my better judgment, this
guy better be as good as you say he is.
(SIGHS)
He's crazy.
I'll just take these out
to the car.
How did you do that?
Double-jointed.
Listen, Quinn,
I think you better get the
good guys and the bad guys
straightened out in that
little pea brain of yours,
otherwise we're gonna have
some serious confrontations.
Do you understand?
Now,
shall we do this thing together?
What have you got in here?
My career.
I've been all over the hotel
getting the layout.
Now there's a group of international
fashion designers meeting today
and a convention of world
economists coming in tomorrow.
We sure could use a look
at that hotel registry.
The signatures
might tell us something.
I'm taking care of that now.
You go on back to my room.
I'll meet you there in a moment.
But
Go!
(WOMAN SCREAMING)
WOMAN: What's happening?
Help! Help!
MAN: Everyone stay calm.
Come on.
QUINN: Broke my glasses.
So what? Let's get out of here!
QUINN: I can't see.
(HOTEL STAFF CLAMORING)
Well, it was a harebrained stunt
and you know it. It worked, didn't it?
(SCOFFS)
Besides, we haven't got
time for subtleties.
Suppose you want to wait up
until midnight and rob the safe?
Hey, look, all I'm asking is that
the next time you decide to celebrate
the Fourth of July,
inform me first. Okay?
JAIME: Did you get
anything at all?
Couple of possibilities. Juan
Robles, a Spanish couturier,
and Vilmos Vanovic,
aYugoslav economist.
Slotsky could play either one
of them, and the "R" in Robles
and the "L" in Vilmos
could be his handwriting.
I know it's not much to go on,
but it's all we've got.
All right.
But I think our priority
should stay with the Spaniard,
because that fashion show's
gonna be over tonight
and then that'll give us all day
tomorrow to work on the economist, huh?
Operator, yes, please
ring Sefior Robles' room.
I see, thank you.
He's lunching by the pool.
Room service, yes,
this is room 172.
I'd like to send a bottle of Dom Pérignon
to Sefior Robles' table by the pool.
Compliments of a friend.
Thanks.
That'll spot him for us.
Well, there's only
one other problem.
Slotsky can recognize me,
too, so we've gotta throw him off.
Wear this.
And this.
Are you joking?
Certainly hope we're not going
anywhere the vice squad visits.
This is a convention hotel.
You'll fit right in.
Oh!
Do you see the champagne bottle?
Yes. The table right
in front of the railing there.
I'll get us a table
as close as possible.
I say, old boy, I'd like
that table just there.
Well, sure, sir.
Go right ahead. Thank you.
Come, sweets.
This way, please.
I feel ridiculous.
HOST: Enjoy your lunch.
Thank you.
Is that Slotsky?
Could be.
It's been 10 years
since I saw him last.
Same general build.
(BIONIC POWERS ACTIVATING)
Gentlemen, it will be
the greatest coup of my career
and I don't want anything
going wrong now.
I wish I could hear
what he's saying.
Oh, well, he said that this could
be the biggest coup of his career
and he doesn't want
anything to go wrong now.
How could you hear that?
Can't you do it?
What?
Well, read lips? Didn't they
teach you that in your day?
No, they didn't.
Well, they should have.
All right, look, I'm
gonna search his room.
Call me if he leaves.
(BIONIC POWERS ACTIVATING)
It pleases me very much that it will
all end tonight and I can go home.
One moment, madam.
I'll call you back.
Your check, please.
I'm sorry.
Thank you.
Come on. Come on.
Oh, no!
(BIONIC POWERS ACTIVATING)
(BIONIC POWERS ACTIVATING)
(BIONIC POWERS ACTIVATING)
This way, sweets.
Thank you, dear.
I told you to call me.
The phone was being used.
Well, you should've
thought of something.
I did! You're out, aren't you?
Barely.
Listen, the sooner
we finish this job,
the sooner we don't have
to work together anymore.
Now did you find
anything at all?
An almost foolproof way
to pass that cipher
in a room full of people
without anybody noticing.
How?
Well, his cover's
a fashion designer,
so he puts the chip in one of his
own creations and sells it at the show.
I saw the drawings, lots of
sequins to hide the chip behind.
Well, let's get it.
Gee, I never thought of that.
Hmm, let's see, now.
Oh, Quinn, come on. You're not
gonna start that again, are you?
Look, it was open season on me
for 25 years.
I managed to keep alive because
nobody was ever quite sure it was me
until it was too late.
I mean to keep it that way.
Monsieur, going down?
No, up to the Roof Garden.
You know him?
No, but you build an instinct
in this business.
I feel it from the hairs
on the back of my neck,
and I would swear that man
is working for Slotsky.
WOMAN: As we all know, Yves Saint Laurent
is alive, well and designing in Paris,
And here we have
tangible proof
(BIONIC POWERS ACTIVATING)
Yes. Well, we'll show this
in the number six position.
Put this on, my dear, in there.
The fitter will sew you into it.
And I'll be out front
talking to the buyers.
MAN: Miss Valerie, where is
the model for number four?
Let's get it. WOMAN: She's
over here, Jerry. Don't panic.
Look, you see
if you can keep him occupied.
I'm gonna go peel that
outfit off the girl, okay?
I was thinking of helping
with that myself.
Oh, I'm sure you were.
Get out of here.
Oh, pardon me, sir.
Yeah?
Could you tell me where is
the dress collection fortoys?
Little bitty dress, little bitty
things for little girls and boys?
You know where
that is? I'm sorry, sir.
You don't Oh, never mind.
What a fruitcake.
Hi.
Who're you?
I'm the fitter. I'm supposed
to sew you into this thing here.
Oh, okay.
This hem looks
a little strange. Come here.
Hmm, look at this.
What happened?
Well, somebody sewed
it up all wrong.
Take it off, I'll try
and fix it real quick. Okay?
Would you go get Robles?
I think we better do that.
He's out front talking
to one of the buyers.
All right.
Thank you.
Sure.
Oh. (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)
Where're you going?
Get it on.
I've gotta sew you into it.
Oh, I can do this one myself.
That's okay. Thank you.
Oh, stop talking foolishness
and get it on.
Okay.
You must be somebody new.
Robles going for
the healthy-girl look?
Well, he was kind enough
to give me a break.
I've been on this crash diet for a week
already and I've got such a headache from it.
Would you please
get me some aspirin?
Soon as I finish here.
Certainly would be a shame if I would
faint in this outfit now, wouldn't it?
WOMAN: Come on, girls,
you're on.
Hey, wait! Stop that girl!
Stop that girl!
Stop that girl!
She's stealing my creation.
(ALL CLAMORING)
It's not there, Quinn.
It's gotta be!
Know what I think?
I think this is just an outfit,
and I think Robles
is just a designer
and you've been faking it
through this whole thing.
Itell you, it's gotta be here.
Come on. It's over.
All right?
Look, I'm not condemning you for
your sight, but without your glasses
you couldn't tell Slotsky from the rear
end of an elephant at six feet. True?
Doesn't matter.
QUINN: We've got another lead,
he's probably the economist.
I told you that 'L' could
be Slotsky's handwriting.
You've been out of action for a long time.
You're not as sharp as you used to be.
I cut a deal with Oscar.
I can't take a chance on that.
Fine. You're going
for a deal with Oscar,
but there are a lot of
agents' lives involved here.
(SIGHS)
I'll tell you what, uh, if I get
Slotsky and the cipher chip,
I will make sure that Oscar
keeps his deal. All right?
Room 447, please.
Yes?
There are two OSI agents
in the hotel.
I heard them mention
Slotsky by name.
They're here to get him
and the cipher chip, All right.
Make arrangements to kill
them both as soon as possible.
Consider it done.
Slotsky doesn't have to worry.
The two have been taken care of.
You're sure?
In three minutes and 21 seconds,
the man and the woman will be dead.
Somehow, someway, if I could
just get into Vanovic's room.
I could plant a bug
or something.
Quinn, I'm sorry about
the way I came down on you.
It wasn't fair. I mean, Robles
could've been the Russian agent.
It was an understandable
mistake and I really am sorry.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
That's our lunch, I hope.
Who is it?
Room service.
Come on in.
Thank you.
Welcome.
Don't you want me
to sign the check?
Almost forgot.
Thank you.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Okay. Come on now. You have
to eat something. I'm not hungry.
Please.
(BIONIC POWERS ACTIVATING)
(TICKING)
Oh, my God!
They're trying to kill us.
Don't be ridiculous!
(BIONIC POWERS ACTIVATING)
(SIGHS)
That was a bomb. They
planted a bomb under that table!
It's no wonder that guy
wanted to get out of here.
I've told Oscar a hundred times.
The trouble with women agents
is they have a tendency to get
hysterical, to exaggerate, fantasize.
Which makes them
somewhat unreliable.
I know what a bomb is
and that was a bomb!
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
Feminine intuition.
All right. Vanovic's not in
his room. Now's my chance.
You can't handle them.
I'll go, too.
Wrong.
You're gonna stay right here.
But ifVanovic is Slotsky,
you're in danger.
Listen, I promise you
I will be very careful.
What I would like you to do is stay
here, have some lunch, get a little rest.
Now I'm gonna search
Vanovic's room,
hopefully I can find something
that proves he's Slotsky,
and then, if I do, I'll come back. We'll
work out a game plan together. Okay?
All right.
Bye.
That girl needs help whether
she knows it or not.
(BIONIC POWERS ACTIVATING)
MAN: You have made
an important contribution
to world economic stability,
Mr. Vanovic.
Thank you, my friend.
I hope it will make
for better relations among us.
Come, I have a very special
present from my mother.
Just a tiny memento.
I hope it is one of her
roast chickens with dumplings.
Not exactly.
Excuse us. We will
see you downstairs later.
How is the dear woman?
Oh, she's very well. Very well.
Has the courier arrived yet?
No, not yet.
He'll be here for the reception.
It would be safer if I
deliver the chip to him.
If there's a problem, face it,
comrade, you are a little old.
Moscow trusts you to steal
United States secrets,
but not for sensitive
and important assignments.
Only I have that honor
and responsibility.
You must've
blackmailed somebody.
The courier will expect me
to talk of my grandchildren
and to hand him a photograph.
The chip is pressed between
the photograph and the backing.
Thank you.
(KNOCKING)
Hotel security, sir.
QUINN: Is there a
Mr. Vanovic here?
Just a minute.
Mr. Vanovic.
Yes? What is it?
Hotel security guard.
I am Mr. Vanovic,
what do you want?
Oh, there's been a second bomb threat,
sir. And we're checking all the rooms.
I can assure you there's
no bomb in this room.
Well, I'm sorry, sir. I've gotta check
it anyway. It's for your own safety.
Nope. No bomb here.
Jaime.
I don't know how you two managed
to escape the bomb, but no matter.
I'll think of another way
to end your interference.
You wonder why I would not
trust you to meet the courier.
You embarrass the KGB
with your feeble attempts
to get rid of
these enemy agents.
Your superior shall hear
of this in detail.
They won't cause us any
more trouble. I guarantee it.
That is not the point. The OSI
is breathing down our necks.
I'm changing the plan.
The moment the courier arrives
I will deliver the chip to him
and instruct him to leave
immediately for Moscow.
That's
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
Over there.
I will be at the reception
in the rose garden.
Let's get this open for
the woman. All right.
(BIONIC POWERS ACTIVATING)
(BIONIC POWERS ACTIVATING)
Okay.
How in the world
Just listen.
Slotsky is gonna pass that
chip to a courier any second now
and I still don't know which of the
delegates he is, so that's where you come in.
I know you can't see anything
without your glasses.
But what you can do for me
is tell me about him. Okay?
Tell me about his habits, his
idiosyncrasies, any tics, anything like that.
Anything at all that would
help me identify him in a crowd.
But
And
we are partners, all right?
We're gonna do this thing together.
There will be no going off on your own.
Is that a deal?
Deal.
Come on now, you're gonna have
to tell me how I can identify Slotsky.
Thinking.
What about his hair? No.
He changes it all the time.
All right. Nervous habits
of any kind?
Nervous habits. Let's see. Sometimes
he scratches his head when he's nervous.
Okay. Okay.
Doesn't look
like he's very nervous.
What else? Is he right-handed,
left-handed? Left-handed.
Left-handed.
Okay. There's one, two,
three, four men holding
drinks in their left hand.
What else? Come on. Quick.
I'm trying.
I know you are. Come on. Oh,
I've really botched this, didn't I?
Okay. Relax,
will you, Quinn?
You can think of something,
I know you can.
You're gonna have to because
I'm getting a headache
watching all four of these guys.
Oh, great. Now there's a fifth
guy with a drink in his left hand.
The watch fob.
Huh?
Slotsky sometimes carried
a pocket watch in his vest.
He's used it to identify
himself to couriers.
All right.
What's it look like?
It's got diamonds on it and
an emerald in the center.
Okay. A diamond watch fob.
With an emerald in the center.
Okay. Okay.
Come on. Come on.
Where is it?
Diamond watch fob.
And with emeralds in
the center. Emeralds.
That's it. That's it! It's right
there. You did it! You actually did it.
Okay.
Oh, boy. Now Slotsky's
handing that picture
with the chip on
it to another guy.
All right. I'm gonna go get
that guy. You get Slotsky!
Okay.
Pardon me, sir. I'm looking for a
delegate with a diamond watch fob.
Have you seen him?
Sorry.
(CAR ENGINE STARTS)
JAIME: Oh, no.
(BIONIC POWERS ACTIVATING)
(TIRES SQUEALING)
Is he all right?
Yeah.
I got here as soon as the police
reported the bomb explosion.
Okay. He's the courier and the
cipher chip is behind this picture.
Now I'm gonna find Quinn.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Beg your pardon. I'm looking for a delegate
with a diamond and emerald watch fob.
Can you help me?
Sorry, I haven't noticed.
MAN: That's a lovely piece.
Emerald, isn't it?
Yes, it is.
Must be quite expensive.
Have you had it for long?
Yes. I purchased it in
Amsterdam years ago.
Gotcha!
You sure look different,
Boris, as near as I can tell.
Here, Terrence, try these.
Still wouldn't have known you.
Your face is completely changed.
What did you expect?
I landed on it when I fell from the
car in Sicily. It was all reconstructed.
(BIONIC POWERS ACTIVATING)
come to me for sympathy.
You kept your job.
I got put out to pasture.
Believe me, being old,
having younger men
hiding their contempt for you,
constantly trying to elbow
you aside to get your job.
You don't know
how lucky you are.
I would gladly have traded
your pasture for mine anytime.
You're kidding.
It's true. I would have
retired years ago,
but the KGB retirement
isn't so easy. I tried.
But I knew so much
they wouldn't let me out.
Now,
failure in a mission like this,
I would have been finished
even if I'd gone back.
It's too bad.
I always saw myself
in a far-away tropical place.
(BOTH LAUGHING)
I can't take the Moscow
winters anymore.
Sitting in the sun
writing my memoirs.
I won't be doing that
in your federal penitentiary.
I was thinking of doing some writing myself.
But I only had one half of the story.
Only you knew the other half.
My friend, we are old fools.
The war between us is over,
passed us by without
us even noticing.
We should've left it
to the younger ones years ago.
Well, I see you caught him.
Now that you caught him,
what're you gonna do with him?
Turn him over to Oscar.
I guess that's
the right thing to do.
It'll be a nice surprise
for Oscar, too.
Considering that I'm the only
one who knows you've got him
I'll go get Oscar,
it'll only take me about
half an hour.
Nice when wars are over,
Mr. Quinn.
Good luck.