Wizards of Waverly Place s03e11 Episode Script

Justin Russo for Student Body President.
Justin Russo.
And remember, Justin's "Just-in time!" You see what I did there.
That's a compound word.
Yes.
I can't believe we're running against each other.
Zeke for president.
Zeke the "Beek-erman"! [laughing.]
Ah, it's time I stood up and became my own man.
But if you give me I may vote for you.
Ah.
It's a chicken dress.
A gojust be stupid.
Vote for me for Speaker of the Assembly.
Speaker of the Assembly? Why do you want to run for that? Because all I have to do is introduce the assembly, and I have the rest of the time to just do whatever I want and pull pranks around the school.
Alex, aren't you tired of pulling all these pranks? I mean, come on, dodge balls filled with jelly? [laughing.]
That was a good one.
Good enough to land you in Saturday detention.
Just 'cause you're frozen, doesn't mean you're not here.
gonna be a breeze * * Well, you know everything's * That the end will no doubt justify the means * * You can fix any problem with the slightest of ease * * Yes, please it'll go to your head * * But you might find out * When you write a report on a book you never read * * With the snap of your fingers you can make your bed * * That's what I said * Everything is not what it seems * * When you can get all you wanted in your wildest dreams * * You might run into trouble if you go to extremes * * Because everything is not what it seems * * Everything is not what it seems * * When you can have what you want by the simplest of means * * Be careful not to mess with the balance of things * * Because everything is not * What it seems * OK, people of the kitchen perimeter, let's go.
Alex has detention today, so we can go to all the places where she's been banned.
Where is she not allowed to go? Coney Island, Ellis Island, and Roosevelt Island.
Alex thinks if you're on an island there are no rules.
But she lives on Manhattan Island.
Doesn't that explain a lot? [knocking at door.]
Mr.
Laritate, in your casual weekend wear.
What are you doing here? I'm here to take Mr.
Russo to detention.
- All right.
- No.
Justin.
- Excuse me? - What? I'm as surprised as anybody.
But you know the giddy-up, can change people.
politics You're coming with me.
[stammers.]
But I didn't do anything.
Tell it to the judge.
But you are the judge.
In that case, I don't want to hear it.
Eddie, how many hours ahead? Two or four? [clears throat.]
Oh, Mr.
Laritate.
I was just fixing the time, cause Who has the right time? Because this is This is all wrong.
Mr.
Laritate, what did I do? You can't leave me in a room full of these people.
I hear they can smell fear.
And right now I'm stinking of it.
Nah, that smell was in here already.
What are you doing here? Did the teachers finally get annoyed by you turning in your homework early? [all laughing.]
You're doing my math homework.
[sniffs.]
Oh, and you smell like fear.
Mr.
Laritate, you gotta get me out of here.
I'm sorry, son.
But somebody has vandalized my office.
And every clue's got your face all over it.
Wagons, ho! Hey.
I've seen this idiot around school.
That's me.
Shut up.
I'm trying to figure out where I've seen this guy.
Mr.
Laritate, I never defend my brother in anything, trust me, but this is a pranking masterpiece.
There's no way that he could have done this.
Are you saying it was you? Maybe it was you.
He is your favorite student.
All right everybody.
Take your seats.
Detention begins Now.
[door opens, door closes.]
Hello, prisoners.
Warden.
Sorry I'm late.
I had a phone call, with your mom.
She said, "Get out of my chair.
" Who are you? I'm Stevie.
Last name I don't want to know yours, so why do you want to know mine? She makes you look like him.
[Laritate.]
All right.
I'll be back to let you out of the cage at 3.
If you need anything, you should have thought of that before you acted up.
[Alex.]
Hey, Stevie.
Why don't you tell me a bedtime story about how you ended up in detention so fast? I got caught for some stuff at my old school, so they're making me make up detention here.
But, it's cool.
It's the quickest way to meet my people.
Your people? Oh, you mean, like me.
Aw! Thank you.
That's so sweet.
Now, if you'll excuse me I need a couple more hours shut eye - under a gentle rain.
- [stereo clicks on.]
[rain falling.]
You're gonna have to turn that down.
It makes me gotta go numero uno.
Yeah, that's right, I speak French.
- [turns up volume.]
- Well Wee, wee.
[laughing.]
- [cart rattles.]
- [all gasp.]
Oh, no! It stopped.
Nobody panic.
No way.
I love to panic.
[screaming.]
Relax.
It's OK.
I'm sure it has nothing we've overloaded this cart.
Ah, they're gonna fix it soon.
Let's just, uh take in the view, and enjoy this beautiful day while it lasts.
Well, that didn't last long.
Man, it's freezing.
This is why I can't wait to get hair all over my body.
Don't worry.
Who wants the strawberry patch sweater? And who wants the butterfly scarf? Can I please use my wand to get us out of here? - Go for it, son.
- Thank you so much.
OK.
- Whoa! No! - Oh! That happened a lot quicker than I thought it would.
I'll take the butterfly scarf.
[alarm rings.]
[alarm stops.]
Morning.
Oh! Gosh.
So, loser.
You're the one that pulled this prank? [clears throat.]
It wasn't me.
Relax, dork.
I think it's cool.
Then yes.
This was all me.
Mm-hm.
Are you guys gonna vote for me for Speaker of the Assembly? Yeah, uh We don't vote.
Because you can't read.
You know, there's a difference between being bad and being stupid.
Well, if I was gonna vote I'd vote for the one that pulled all this off.
- [slaps leg.]
- My man right here.
[groans.]
You? You didn't do this prank.
I'll admit to robbing a bank if it gets me out of here.
But pranking is my campaign promise.
I can't let you take credit for this.
I'm gonna find out who really did this, so they can help me with my campaign.
They have to have left some clues here or something.
I'm not leaving here until I figure out who did this.
- [door unlocks.]
- [Laritate.]
All right, everybody.
- Detention's over.
Get out.
- Yes! Yah! Miss Russo, even though you're frozen, I can see you.
What about now? Yah! Hey.
Today is your lucky day.
You can hang with us.
But, you're definitely gonna have to make a few changes.
Yes! I mean, yeah! Like what? For starters, we gotta lower your pants a little bit.
Why? Am I getting a shot? I'm not good with needles.
No, no, no.
Just wear 'em a little lower.
Oh.
Why are your shoes tied? Untie them.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Let's untie them.
Right.
Yeah.
[clears throat.]
I like it.
Everything's all loose, and jangly.
It's relaxing.
Wow.
What up? Nada mucho.
- I think you're ready.
- Yeah.
To throw a rock at that nerd right there.
Giant dog on water skis.
[laughs.]
Hi-larious! Zeke's my friend.
Hey, Justin.
Listen, I heard about what happened and I know you're innocent.
Whoa, what happened to your pants, dude? Pull them up.
You don't want to look like Eddie and them.
Zeke.
Detention has changed me.
Eddie and them are my crew.
I guess is what they'd say.
"Crew.
" I don't buy it.
If he's forcing you to say this blink twice.
I don't think I have a chance of that I'm a street tough.
I can't believe I lost you to Eddie and them.
Goodbye, old friend.
- [groans.]
- [Eddie clears throat.]
[snapping fingers.]
OK.
Now, I'm going to pretend to throw a rock at you.
OK.
[groans.]
OK.
- And I want you to pretend - All right.
- that it hits you.
- OK.
All right.
[clears throat.]
Now scram! You nerd, dork, geek, loser! Yeah.
[grunts.]
[screaming.]
Oh, my spine! Oh, that's so painful! Dad, is this a survival situation? All right.
I'm gonna slow my heart rate down and then I'm gonna go into hibernation just like a bear.
Oh! I'm starving.
[sniffs.]
Does anyone smell salami and crackers? My nose is starting to hallucinate.
Oh, no.
That's just my salami and cracker earrings.
We're saved.
Harper.
Harper.
I need your help.
I've got to find out who pulled off one of the best pranks I've ever seen.
There's no better person a fellow prankster.
Where have you been? I was stuck on top of the Coney Island Ferris wheel with your dad and Max.
Coney Island? We're banned from there.
No.
You are.
Oh.
So, you all went without me? Yeah.
It was kind of an Alex-free day.
Sorry.
So, come on, do a little of your bibbity-bobbity-boo and rescue your dad and brother.
Just Bibbity-bobbity-no! I'm gonna let them enjoy their Alex-free day.
Because I'm that nice.
[door opens.]
Freeze! [door closes.]
[Laritate singing.]
Finally.
Wow.
Either this is a really great prank, or a new design idea for my bedroom.
Harper, focus.
We're looking for clues.
Even the stapler is wrapped.
By someone with nimble fingers and lots of down time.
That's me.
It's not you, Harper.
If only these posters of Justin could talk.
Oh my gosh.
You're right.
Because all of them saw who did this.
No, because I like talking to Justin.
Harper.
[claps.]
Posters, posters on the wall.
Now it's time to tell us all.
[all talking.]
- Hello, voters.
- Vote for Justin Russo.
- My favorite colors are - Justin's just-in time.
Justin, he's the best choice! OK, OK! Everybody hush up.
[Alex.]
Now, who did all of this to Mr.
Laritate's office? - [all talking.]
- No! You, only you.
Talk.
I can't tell you.
I promised her I wouldn't say.
Her? It's a girl.
It is a girl.
With nimble fingers and lots of down time.
Are you sure it's not me? Her who? [sighs.]
I can't say, because she's gonna vote for me and every vote counts, as you know.
And she's gonna vote for him.
It's me.
It's not you, Harper.
And I'm not gonna say who it is.
Because this election is too important to my senior year.
I'm done talking to you guys.
Posters, posters, that didn't squeal at all.
Zip it up.
Stay on this wall.
I hate it when Justin cares about stuff.
It gets in my way.
Come on.
It's 197 for Justin.
One ninety-seven for Zeke.
OK.
So it's a girl.
That narrows it down to like pretty sure it's not me.
re Harper Forget it.
It's over.
People have already voted.
Now, we just have to wait to see who the winner is, plant cheat sheets in their locker, and you're looking at your new Speaker of the Assembly.
Where are we gonna get cheat sheets? [chuckles.]
Come on.
Eddie and them? What are you guys doing here? You don't vote.
We did this time.
Them convinced me.
Them was all like, "We should vote and stuff.
" Justin, it looks like you're pulling ahead.
[Laritate.]
Two hundred for Zeke.
Two hundred and six for Justin.
I'm good with it.
I did some soul searching, and I voted for you.
And if I had voted, I would've voted for you too, buddy.
- You didn't vote? - Mm-mm.
What kind of citizen are you? [Laritate.]
And Justin Russo wins by a total of six votes.
[cheering.]
[Zeke.]
Mr.
Laritate, I'd like to withdraw my vote.
OK.
Justin wins by five votes.
This is amazing.
Your votes put me over the top.
Thank you, Eddie and them.
[Laritate.]
However, since Justin pranked my office, I'm afraid he's disqualified.
What? Wait.
No! No, no, no.
Justin should be President.
He didn't do it.
If he didn't do it, who did? I did.
It was all me.
Alex.
What are you talking about? How did you do it? It wasn't me.
I know this is important to you.
- And I was on a roll here.
- You should get back up.
Go.
Everybody here knows that Justin and I don't like each other.
Now, that is correct.
Well, then we have a confession.
Justin Russo is your new Student Body President.
[cheering.]
And Alex Russo is disqualified from running for Speaker of the Assembly.
[Stevie.]
Hold on! Hold on.
Everybody stop pointing your fingers at her and start pointing your fingers at me.
I did it.
These nimble fingers wrapped your office in Justin's posters.
Even the stapler.
Looks like we have a double confession.
[all.]
Ooh! In the Old West, there'd be a duel.
Which is why I wait with bated breath for the invention of the time machine.
Till then, new girl Stevie, Alex Russo Who can prove they're the baddest girl at school? Does Alex Russo have this in her locker? I knew it wasn't me.
You are in a wagonload of trouble.
Eh.
Bring it on, Wild Bill Laritate.
Very well.
I'll see you at the next three Saturday detentions.
Hey, I'm not busy on the fourth Saturday.
Maybe we can do something? All right.
What's going on? Why'd you do it? I figured if Justin got into detention, Eddie and them would vote for him and he'd win.
I was wrong about you, Stevie.
And I was wrong about you, Alex.
You knew how much I cared about this and you were willing to take the fall for me.
Well, you're my brother.
And that 20 bucks I stole from you earlier, well, we're even.
And I was wrong about you.
'Cause you didn't do the prank.
So, he's no longer a them, boys.
He's a "get him!" Wait! [screams.]
Mom! All right, so what's the real reason you did it? The second biggest troublemaker of the school is the sister of the President.
There's a lot of ways to go with that.
You're right.
Another masterful plan.
All we gotta do is work on your evil laugh and we could be good friends.
[coughing.]
Tell her her dress is pretty.
Your dress is pretty.
Aw, thank you.
We can all be friends.
Oh, thank you.
Thank you so much! You are very kind people.
Oh! Oh, I didn't dream this away.
I'm going back in.
Well, Alex is still mad at all of us, so when she was done with me, she zapped me back here.
But, I grabbed my jerky jacket before she noticed.
Spicy? Or teriyaki? Oh, I'll have the spicy.
Good choice.