Workin' Moms (2017) s03e11 Episode Script

1 ANNE: Previously, on "Workin' Moms:" - Mhmm? [COUGHS.]
- Wow.
Brenna's a snake smoker, apparently How about we all just get together for dinner? MARCUS: That's a great idea, Lionel.
MEL: If you ever need anything fixed, give me a call.
I have hiring power.
So you can get me a job? I can get you paid until your back on both feet again.
Hey, how about I take you to dinner? Don't you have plans? Not anymore.
[PHONE CHIMES.]
[LAUGHS.]
Well I see we have a little visitor.
Oh, I hope you don't mind, I had to bring her.
My mom is in Palm Springs, and I couldn't find a sitter.
- Classic.
- Okay.
I have to say, it's good to see you all of you here - together as a family.
- Yeah, it feels good.
Well, maybe this is an appropriate time to talk about your future.
Sure.
Future? Oh, like decision time? It could be, if you're ready, you know, to Shit or get off the pot.
I wouldn't use that exact terminology.
Taking a shit would be Nathan, and getting off the pot would be just about anything else, right? What's happening? Look, I don't have an answer, okay? Nathan, you've been so patient.
And you make my life so much better.
I just how do I say it? I'm there's something I need to do first.
Something, or someone? No, a thing.
[GULPING.]
[FOOTSTEPS THUD.]
Mm! Ah.
Breakfast is so much faster when you drink it.
Try not to guzzle your dinner tonight.
Hey, about that.
I wanna make sure that we are on the same page - for this evening.
- Yep.
Brenna's a bad influence, so her parents are coming over, and we are going to crush them.
Totally, totally.
But if I've learned anything, it's that we need to adopt the tenets of conflict resolution.
There's nothing to resolve.
Their daughter's a problem, if she can't stop, Alice can't see her anymore.
Yes, well, obviously we both know that Brenna's the problem.
But her parents aren't gonna accept that.
So, we just need to gently coax them into understanding that their daughter shares some of the blame with Alice.
Then we can have an intelligent conversation, and both parties leave satisfied.
Fine.
And then we crush them.
Yes, like a clove of garlic in the soup of friendship.
- Hi! - Hi.
Sit down.
Okay.
So, what's up? Well, I got a call from head office this morning.
They were going through payroll, and found an irregularity, which I can only assume was done by you while I was gone.
Did you hire an "offsite business boy?" Oh yes.
I-I needed something done offsite.
Jenny! Paying your ex, who doesn't work here, for a job that doesn't exist, is stealing.
You've stolen from this company! It-it it's not.
See, the job does exist.
He does valuable stuff.
Well, if he's so valuable, why doesn't he come in? Well, offsite is just in his title, so I Jenny, if we're paying him, he's gotta be here, working effectively, today.
Or I'm gonna have to let you go.
[GROANS.]
I [KATE GROANS.]
Kate! I've been trying to reach you! Guess who Look at this headline that just came in! "Tasteless Campaign Saves Clinic.
" Dana Fuckin' Brown! No, no, it's about Tru Air.
They're here for the meeting, it got pushed up.
Do you think they've seen the article? - So, we read the article.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, about that.
- Yeah, that free bleed thing? It was pretty sick.
Yeah, I had to take like, breaks from reading it.
The thing is that the journalist, Dana Brown, she sort of has it out for me.
Yeah, she does, I mean, brutal headline.
- Total click bait.
- Yeah, but then she completely flips it.
Flips it? You're saying it's a good article? [AIDAN AND LISA LAUGH.]
- Uh - [LAUGHS NERVOUSLY.]
Kate, we loved the Free Bleed campaign.
I mean, it was so in your face.
It was like, raw, uncooked, deal with it.
Yeah, when I read it, I screamed.
- Didn't I scream, Aidan? - She texted me in all caps.
And so, we want to gauge your interest about something.
Gauge away.
Well, Tru Air is starting an executive class airline for short haul flights.
So obviously we wanna set up shop in Toronto, because within an hour you can be in Chicago, New York, Montreal, Boston.
And, to a lesser extent, Ottawa.
But like, who cares? So, we need an innovative campaign to tell business travelers why they should choose Tru Air, over some discount propeller plane.
You know, someone who knows the box, but doesn't give a shit about the box.
- We think that could be you.
- Holy crap.
Rosie.
So um that could be something I'm interested in, yeah.
Okay, so we need you in New York tonight - to pitch to our CEO.
- Tonight? - No problem.
- Rose! I actually have my kids tonight um, but I can find a sitter.
or I could just give 'em a couple knives, and let the best man win.
- I'll be there, I'm gonna go.
- ADIAN: Cool.
See, there's your problem.
- These hinges are all loose.
- Oh! Like somebody's been slamming them shut.
Really? Hmm.
I'll just tighten these up, and you're good to go.
I can't tell you how much I appreciate this.
Can I get you a beer? Sure.
[GIGGLES.]
Thank you.
- JOSEPH: Mom? - Oh, no.
- Oh.
- Boys! - Where's all the cereal? - Oh, don't you don't remember? You devoured two boxes yesterday.
- You were supposed to buy more! - Yeah! We're starving! Wait.
What are you wearing? Yeah, what's with all this makeup? Ahem.
And who are you? Ah, this is Mel.
He's helping fix things around the house you've damaged.
Nice to meet you boys.
Hmph.
This your beer, Mel? I'm gonna drink this.
No, Joseph! No! He's drinking your whole beer! Gaaah! Catch.
[LAUGHS.]
- Did it look cool? - Yeah.
- It felt cool.
- Yeah? [BOYS CHORTLE AND HOLLER.]
- [DOOR SLAMS.]
- Cute kids.
Oh, I am so sorry.
I just, I-I don't know what to do with them.
You know, I've known a few boundary pushing boys in my day.
Mind if I have a word? She sent you a photo of what? - [KNOCKING.]
- Well You boys aren't pieces of shit, are you? Because I met two garbage boys a minute ago.
And that lady upstairs, she's an angel.
Hah! So come on, let's try this again.
Hey, buddy, why don't you try this again? [ALL LAUGH.]
Oh, I see.
Ah You boys know about the human body, don't you? What? Every muscle and bone are connected.
And in that way it works like a family.
So if one bone is disconnected, the entire body hurts.
Just like a family.
Who the fuck is this guy? I understand you boys are going through a phase.
I get it.
But if you boys wanna push somebody's boundaries What the fuck you doing? Push mine, because I don't have any.
- Aah! Aaaah! Aaah! - BOYS: Whoa! Oh! - Aaaaah! - BOYS: Ohhh, God! Oh, my God! - What? - Yeah, yeah.
You see this? This is you two.
And if you boys don't get back in place, there's gonna be a lot of pain.
Ohhh.
Ugh! So what am I even supposed to be doing here? Your job is to pretend like you know how to do things, so I can keep my job.
Other than that, just stay out of the way, and don't bother anyone.
So this is your desk.
Why does everybody else get a computer, and I don't? You want a computer, this is your computer.
[CHAIR RATTLES, SCREWS CLATTER.]
My chair is broken.
So fix it! [KIDS LAUGH AND SHOUT.]
[DOOR SLAMS.]
Hey Dana, I saw your latest article.
I know, I'm sorry, journalists don't get to choose their own headlines.
I-I really needed the good press today actually, - so, thank you.
- That was all you.
That Free Bleed was badass.
Nice chop! Charlie could learn a thing or two.
- Too soon.
- Sorry.
If that had happened to Charlie, I'd have freaked.
No, it's all good.
[LAUGHS.]
Sorry, man.
- Thank you, bye.
- Bye.
[CAR DOOR SLAMS.]
[SIGHS.]
[PHONE RINGS.]
Hey, Mike, it's me.
Um, sorry again for flaking the other day, something came up, and anyway, I got some news.
and I would love your thoughts.
- [HORN HONKS.]
- Oh! - Uh I'm going! - [HORN HONKS.]
Anyway, give me a call, you big boner.
- Uh, say it.
- You say it.
- No, what are you - Ahem! - Sorry, Mom.
- Yeah, sorry.
Now say it like you mean it.
BOYS: [IN UNISON.]
Sorry.
Sorry for what? - Disrespecting you.
- Pissing in the garden.
Oh! Thank you, boys! Go, go, go, go, go! Little squirrels.
- How did you - It's nothing.
Some people just need a little persuading.
Oh, my, your thumb.
This, it's just an old hockey injury, it See? Ah-ah.
- I do it all the time.
- Oh.
Don't tell them.
I won't.
[INHALES DEEPLY.]
Got them big boots To match my stride I fixed the chair.
That's how I ride Baby when you get hit do this jive [DOOR RATTLES.]
You're stuck.
I know.
Hang on a second.
There we go.
- Wow, thanks, Ian.
- No problem.
Between this and the espresso machine, everything's falling apart.
I can fix that, too.
- Really? - Sure.
- Great.
- Awesome.
- See you round.
- Yeah.
JENNY: Okay, yeah, thank you so much.
Alright, bye.
Okay [KEYS CLICK.]
[LOW HUM OF CHATTER, LAUGHTER.]
Hmm.
[EMPLOYEES LAUGH AND CHATTER.]
IAN: One expresso for you.
There we go.
And who wants hey, we were just talking about you! Expresso? These cups are so small, I can make you one, too.
- [MACHINE RATTLES.]
- Uh okay.
It's "espresso," with an "s!" Everybody out! With an "s" maybe if I'm Italian.
Jenny, what the hell? I-I just fixed that.
I didn't bring you here to make friends, I brought you here to work.
So just go back to your desk.
Be the business boy I hired you to be, and stop lowering productivity! Just, party's over! [PAGES RUSTLE.]
This sucks.
We get the basement, and our parents are upstairs with wine? I love that they think you're this bad influence on me.
I know! Your mom's intense.
She's totally freaking out.
She has my dad completely whipped.
Oh, my God, she totally does.
Same with my mom.
She's whipped my dad for sure.
- Do you wanna spy on them? - Why? They spy on us, go through our things.
- [BRENNA CHUCKLES.]
- Let's spy on them.
Are you aware that your daughter's - completely manipulative? - No, she isn't.
We don't think that, either.
Good.
- [OVEN TIMER DINGS.]
- Hey, let's put a pin in that, because the feast is ready! Who's ready for some ah, braised-ah lamb shanks! - We're vegetarians.
- We're vegetarians.
- Of course you are.
- Shit! [SILVERWARE CLINKS.]
There's something in there, look.
I bet it's like, a secret stash of drugs.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
[CLATTERS.]
[RATTLES.]
[GASPS.]
- [DOORBELL CHIMES.]
- Ah, Jesus.
- Hi! We gotta talk.
- Oh! - Okay.
Hi, guys.
- Come on, buddy.
Oh, my gosh.
Yeah.
Oh! So ah! A big opportunity just landed in my lap.
You know Tru Air? Um, the airline, yeah.
Yes! So they are actually considering me to create and run a campaign for them here in Canada, because they're expanding, do you know how massive that would be? That's amazing, you would be perfect for that.
I know, right? So, the pitch is tomorrow in New York.
I'd fly out tonight, so if you could actually - watch the kids, then - Kate, I'm sorry, - but I cannot take the kids.
- Why not? I-I have to be in court tomorrow morning, and I'll be up all night prepping, and I still have to get Charlie's Halloween costume together, I haven't bought any of the supplies, or anything, I mean, can't you call Val? Or your sister? No, I tried them, I tried everybody! I thought you would be I'm sorry.
Kate, I just can't.
I really wish I could, I do, but I understand.
Thank you for all your work you've put in today.
It was like being on "Queer Eye," but with a straight guy.
[LAUGHS.]
It was no sweat.
Oh, I um, hope you don't mind, I set up your speakers so you can play music from your phone.
You didn't have to do that.
Here, let me show you.
[R&B MUSIC PLAYS.]
[GIGGLES.]
Well, you are just fixing everything today.
Well, not quite everything.
There is still something that needs tending to.
[BOYS CHATTER.]
- What are you guys doing? - Uh, nothing.
We the music! Wired in now, so - There.
Sound system.
- [HIP HOP PLAYS.]
- Go to your rooms.
- What? Now! Go to your rooms! [LOUD MUSIC PLAYS.]
BOTH: Good song.
Mmm It's fall-off-the-bone.
- How are your greens? - How do you think they are? Okay, well, if you finish those, there's a bowl of ice cream in it for you.
I'm not a child.
You know what, this is ridiculous! You seriously think that Brenna's manipulating Alice? I'm sorry, but Alice wasn't wearing butt floss - before Brenna came along! - Excuse me! The thong was your kid's idea! All right? I seriously think she needs to be examined - by a professional! - I am a professional! - Oh, a professional what?! - MARCUS: I don't think you're really qualified to deal with [GUNSHOT POPS.]
- What was that? - Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh! Oh, my God! What?! What the hell is wrong with you?! - You could've killed her! - Is that a gun?! - Is that a real gun?! - No, that's not a real gun.
Shit! Is that a real gun?! Where did you get this? What the hell is going on around here?! Brenna made me do it, I swear! What? No, I didn't! - [ALICE SOBS.]
- Baby, baby You leave a weapon lying around for our children to play with?! - Gaaaah! - Lionel! - MARCUS: Oh! Ah! Oh! - I'm a weapon! I'm a weapon! Ah! Ah! What the hell?! We are leaving, we going to go.
And you, you keep your family away from mine! Come on, let's go.
Get out.
[SIGHS.]
[GUN CLATTERS.]
[SIGHS DEEPLY.]
[DEEP EXHALE.]
Food's almost here, buddy.
Ahhh - - [SIGHS.]
[SIGHS HEAVILY.]
Fuck.
[PHONE RINGS, KNOCK AT DOOR.]
Oh, dinner's here.
[GROANS.]
Go.
Go to New York.
LISA: Lisa here.
- Holy - Hey, buddy.
What about-what about your court case? I talked to the judge, she changed the dates.
Take the opportunity.
Oh, my God! Nathan I just need one thing.
You gotta take care of Charlie's Halloween costume.
- Deal? - Pfft! Yes! I can take care of his costume, I'm all over it! Well, kick some ass.
I'll grab the kids' things, and I'll get out of your hair, okay? Thank you! I can't fight this feeling You know the one when You've got that somethin' That I have always wanted I can't fight this feeling You know the one Kate.
You're right there.
Yeah, here I am.
Uh, how did you-did you know I was gonna be on this flight? What? No.
Oh, I didn't actually think that you No, I'm pitching Tru Air.
Like you, I presume? Ah.
Thanks.
I didn't know you were up for it.
Yeah, it was all kind of last minute, but you don't say no to an airline.
No, you don't.
So you feel ready for it? No, I don't feel ready, Kate, I am ready.
- Oh, boy.
- [CHUCKLES.]
You? Oh, yeah, you kidding? I was built for this.
Wake up early, light breakfast, just run that pitch to death.
- You have that drink after.
- Oh, let me guess, with you? Did they put you up at the Rococo? Mhmm, you too? Hmm.
At least one of us will get the job.
Yeah, I guess so.
May the best woman win.
I can't fight this feeling You know the one when You've got that somethin'